@emmanuelmccoy2 What is that suppose to mean? Different men find different types of women attractive. I have never had a problem attracting attractive me, so if you don't like big women, good for you, no one cares. But your comment was immature and uncalled for.
Being INDEPENDENT does NOT prepare you for marriage. The whole act of marriage and finding a partner is based on mutual DEPENDENCE. I'm going to start explaining to women this way from now on.
LADIES PLEASE, IF THIS COMES OFF ANY OFFENSIVE WAY, SAVE IT ALL FOR LATER LISTEN TO WHAT SHE'S SAYING.. AS A YOUNG LADY I HAD 2 TEACH MYSELF THIS EARLY IN LIFE.. GOD BLESSED ME INDEED BUT IN THIS VIDEO THIS SISTER FORMULATE HOW I FEEL 100% SHE COULD'VE SAY IT ANY BETTER SHE IS A VIRTUOUS WOMAN... GOD BLESSED YOU SISTER
LMFAOOOOOOOOO I AM GOING TO START POSTING THIS VIDEO EVERYWHERE!! SHANEL YOU ARE A HYBRID, NOT TO BE WEIRD BUT I AM 19 AND I HAVE THIS MENTALITY SOMETIMES IT FEELS ALONE BECAUSE OF HOW SOCIETY, THIS WORLD & HOW I SEE SO MANY WOMEN STICK TO THE NORMAL SCRIPT!! REAL LOVE HAPPENS WHEN YOU LEARN HOW TO LOVE GOD..& THEN YOURSELF.. I LOVEE THIS VIDEO I AGREE WITH THIS 100% THIS WORLD NEED MORE WOMEN LIKE YOU =)
Thank you so much for making this! I really needed to hear a lot of what you said. I have noticed myself lately thinking ahead of time, how I want to be in the future, for when that time does come for me. This just brought it all together. Thank you again :)
Why is it that we put so much emphasis on how we can get men and keep men. Women are priorities too, we need to have conversation like "How can a man get and keep women" Men get us but they don't know how to keep us happy. Men get away with too much they have the responsibility of treating us well and keeping up with us too.
I feel what you're saying, but the fact is that quality men are not in abundance. There are 5 women for every 1 man of quality. By quality I mean a man that is educated, working making 60K or more per year, no criminal record and 100% heterosexual and is in tune with is spirituality. Its not to say a man should not have to try to be a good man to get a good woman, but as I mentioned, its a numbers game and white supremacy has weaken Black men.
That's funny. All black women aren't women of quality. There are a lot of women who don't make nearly 60k- are uneducated, living in the projects, section 8 or subsidized housing, have out of wedlock children by deadbeats, and are sometime dykes. Let's not even get into the fact that they still go to church but sin on Friday and Saturday night. When you subtract these
Shanelle, NOT "Go get the man of your dreams" BUT "The man of your dreams to find you" . Shannell, do you truly believe we the woman have to go get" as you just phrased here on you believe as a woman you need to be found. Answer this question please - I will never GO GET or SEEK anyman - they will find me - as am in the preparation of being a wife, As a woman you will FAIL miserably if you seek and not allow your self to be FOUND instead.
@simp1eone many women tried this u know?look around ask around if they aren't vane they will tell u the mistake they made sitting & waiting.not 2 say ur method is wrong.but don't think ur doing anything fly by not being aggressive or proactive about finding ur mate.dudes who aggressively chase women usually chase pussy. Winner type dudes don't have time 2 "chase" u.so if ur waiting on who chases u then u might not get a winner..b pro-active..don't b scurred.. u want it to be 1 way but its not.
@simp1eone.I couldn't agree more. She's got the roles just a tad twisted. A woman is designed to RECEIVE love.and the reason that most men agree with her is because she's doing what a lot of women do...allowing a man to lean back and RECEIVE all the love/dedication and focus she's willing to give. You don't get a man's love by DOING, you get his love by BEING/FEELING and allowing him in so that he can NOURISH and WATER you. If I wear "stilettos in the kitchen" it's because I FEEL sexy doing it..
LOVE YOUR SELF FIRST BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE ANYBODY, THAT MEANS STOP CONTROLLING ONE ANOTHER, STOP LIVING IN HIGH EXPECTATIONS AND ASSUMPTIONS, TALK ABOUT THAT BEFORE GETTING MARRIED, IF YOU BEEN TOGETHER FOR YEARS AND DECIDED TO GET MARRIED, AND THEN GET A DIVORCE AFTER A YEAR? YOU DIDNT TALK ABOUT YOUR EXPECTATIONS AND ASSUMPTIONS, YOU BETTER OFF NOT GETTING MARRIED, IF YOU WAS TOGETHER ALL THAT TIME, YOU DONT NEED PAPERS FOR THAT, THATS MY OPINION, IM JUST SAYING..
I wish girls who think they are a women need to study what U-r teaching, you are exactly what I'm looking for, ur what I called an intelligent women. The girls I've dated have this illusion they know what they want,mature,and know how to treat a men and think there ready for marriage, but they don't even come close, most of there problem is living in a fantasy and want more then what she cant do for themselves I want to get marry but to a real women who got my back and will truly luv me.
Hey Nel, I think towards the end of the video you discount the fact that there will be certain stages in a person's life where they are concentrating so much on themselves, and relishing the stage they are in that they truly dont have the capacity for an external relationship. And I dont see anything wrong with loving yourself by yourself.
Each individual knows when the time is right: Preparation is key... and one of the stages of preparation is being happy w/Yourself (ALONE).
FINALLY!! Another woman who shares my views!! I am already married, however learned long ago from watching sucessful marriages around me that the wedding is one day but your marriage is supposed to be forever You have to plan and nurture your MARRIAGE! Take care of what you worked so hard to find. Shanel thank you for sharing this!
she need to make a vid on why women should start to pursue men . . .the way these women act like men now a days they really should approach em too . . . . .
I know what you mean and I understand what you are saying. And you are right. You seem to have a clear understanding about what is really important. BTW, I love the part about living in joy.
so from a womans point view who seems to have it all together to say the least, how would a man go about finding and even keeping a woman like 'that'?...anyone gota answer...
i agree with u this is all good if u have a GOOD man but he has to be doing the same thing as well. if im preparing myself to be a wife & mother he need to be preparing to be a husband & father.
Will this make him get and keep a job? I take it you are talking about keeping a man who is worth keeping. We too often settle for poor material and try to make a bond. If he is a good adult man, then girl put on your high heels and your thong and get in that kitchen. But doing this will not grow a backbone in a man where none exists.
Honestly I need a woman like you in my life...I need my girl to see this right now. She need to be your best friend for about 6 months and just learn from you.
This women is amazing! Jesus Christ why don't most black women think like you? I truly believe that most of the good black women our on lock down at an early age.
Shantel, I hope and pray that you blow up in popularity. You need to have your own talk show or radio spot because the garbage that's being spilled out as relationship advice with these so called celeb experts is pure garbage. For once, it's refreshing to see A WOMAN like yourself speak out with such balance on building healthy relationships without feeding into the cataclysm that continues to divide Black men and women. Peace my beautiful sister.
You know what, Shanel? I am one of your virtual coachee and I listened to most of your
teleseminars and I must say that THIS video hit the spot. Maybe I've learned so much things in the previous weeks that I understand better now but this video is definitely helpful. Keep what you're doing girl! As for me, you're waking me up little by little!!
This woman is AMAZING! It almost makes me sad, women like her are like a shooting star. Amazing and astonishing to see because of it's brilliance and rarity....
Excellent submission, Chanel as many prepare themselves for the event and are ill-prepared for the day o/ days after...hat is the point of applying for a position that you are highly unqualified for?
I totally blame Disney! LOL! Seriously though, that "fairy tale" can happen...you just have to let it happen with the RIGHT person! If it's not, then soon as that "honeymoon phase" is over then someone is looking to bail out. It's all about choosing the right partner, having YOURSELF together, and most importantly being PATIENT! You can't rush God's plan. Wait for that "right" person and in the meantime prepare yourself. It'll be more than worth it in the end.
They are so quick to yell out that they are independent and wearing that as a badge of honor that they have no idea what it is to be a wife. Most really don't want to be a wife at all, they just want the wedding day.
That's true of a lot too many woman nowadays. It seems that men get married because they feel obligated to do so and women get married because they want nice wedding pictures. The times of my parents and grandparents when being married meant something seem to be coming to an end. I've seen so many examples that prove this.
More importantly, girls should not scream what they want until they blossum into women who understand who they are first, then they can better assess their needs. People need people. That is fundamental. so really, females have to spend time matruing, learning to be truly honest with themselves and avoid being spoon fed self destructing lies.
I heard that!
rdrstar 2 weeks ago
OH I LOVE THIS!! GREAT POST =)
Darkacherry13 1 month ago
who the hell would dislike this??? everything she said is unbiased and true
ebeledi 3 months ago
Coming from a Man I do always enjoy listening to some of you vids.....
AWESOME info for the sisters, I can only hope some of them are truly
listening. Much success Shanel......
Here is one man who will always be inyour corner. BRAVO!!!!
Defiant359 4 months ago
A True Black Queen, we need to put her in the Smithsonian or any museun so sisters can look and listen and LEARN
whitebitchnigga 5 months ago
Very Good message. More women need to hear you.
maybwrongmaybringht 5 months ago
Domestic Godess!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahah!!!
Valtyful 7 months ago
thank you thank you thank you!!!!!
augustlennix 7 months ago
Your husband must be the luckiest man on Earth
DatMan4lyfe 7 months ago
Bitch you ugly as fuck and bat shit crazy Crazy fucking christian Lmao
blazedbl 7 months ago
Lets talk about big women who expect us men to still find them attractive
emmanuelmccoy2 8 months ago
@emmanuelmccoy2 What is that suppose to mean? Different men find different types of women attractive. I have never had a problem attracting attractive me, so if you don't like big women, good for you, no one cares. But your comment was immature and uncalled for.
m0renachula704 7 months ago
So true.
AlexisCorey001 9 months ago
Being INDEPENDENT does NOT prepare you for marriage. The whole act of marriage and finding a partner is based on mutual DEPENDENCE. I'm going to start explaining to women this way from now on.
bhillboy37 9 months ago
are you married?
afranzmeier0117 9 months ago
LADIES PLEASE, IF THIS COMES OFF ANY OFFENSIVE WAY, SAVE IT ALL FOR LATER LISTEN TO WHAT SHE'S SAYING.. AS A YOUNG LADY I HAD 2 TEACH MYSELF THIS EARLY IN LIFE.. GOD BLESSED ME INDEED BUT IN THIS VIDEO THIS SISTER FORMULATE HOW I FEEL 100% SHE COULD'VE SAY IT ANY BETTER SHE IS A VIRTUOUS WOMAN... GOD BLESSED YOU SISTER
licialicous 10 months ago 2
LMFAOOOOOOOOO I AM GOING TO START POSTING THIS VIDEO EVERYWHERE!! SHANEL YOU ARE A HYBRID, NOT TO BE WEIRD BUT I AM 19 AND I HAVE THIS MENTALITY SOMETIMES IT FEELS ALONE BECAUSE OF HOW SOCIETY, THIS WORLD & HOW I SEE SO MANY WOMEN STICK TO THE NORMAL SCRIPT!! REAL LOVE HAPPENS WHEN YOU LEARN HOW TO LOVE GOD..& THEN YOURSELF.. I LOVEE THIS VIDEO I AGREE WITH THIS 100% THIS WORLD NEED MORE WOMEN LIKE YOU =)
licialicous 10 months ago
PREACH THEM SISTER YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!
licialicous 10 months ago
She breaks shit DOWN! This woman knows us! I need her. Love you Shanel.
zudaboy3030 10 months ago
Thank you so much for making this! I really needed to hear a lot of what you said. I have noticed myself lately thinking ahead of time, how I want to be in the future, for when that time does come for me. This just brought it all together. Thank you again :)
Esellajessica 10 months ago
Why is it that we put so much emphasis on how we can get men and keep men. Women are priorities too, we need to have conversation like "How can a man get and keep women" Men get us but they don't know how to keep us happy. Men get away with too much they have the responsibility of treating us well and keeping up with us too.
ladymarcia1220 1 year ago
@ladymarcia1220 That topic has already been thoroughly explained. This is about THE MAN this time
Deathstar931 11 months ago
@ladymarcia1220
I feel what you're saying, but the fact is that quality men are not in abundance. There are 5 women for every 1 man of quality. By quality I mean a man that is educated, working making 60K or more per year, no criminal record and 100% heterosexual and is in tune with is spirituality. Its not to say a man should not have to try to be a good man to get a good woman, but as I mentioned, its a numbers game and white supremacy has weaken Black men.
derekholt109 10 months ago
@derekholt109
That's funny. All black women aren't women of quality. There are a lot of women who don't make nearly 60k- are uneducated, living in the projects, section 8 or subsidized housing, have out of wedlock children by deadbeats, and are sometime dykes. Let's not even get into the fact that they still go to church but sin on Friday and Saturday night. When you subtract these
bhillboy37 9 months ago
your are beautiful all together, truely blesed glad i came across your videos and see that im not the only intelligent girl out their! x
VGS786 1 year ago
this woman doesnt stick to the normal script i see....
a breath of fresh air
DoomCity202 1 year ago
This sista has beauty, brains and perspective. IF ANYONE HAS ANYTHING NEGATIVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS VIDEO I'M GOING TO COME AND SEE YOU, PERSONALLY.
TempeSoldier123 1 year ago
Shanel....I would never get over the butterflies or initial attraction to you....[period]
dundura123 1 year ago
Shanelle, NOT "Go get the man of your dreams" BUT "The man of your dreams to find you" . Shannell, do you truly believe we the woman have to go get" as you just phrased here on you believe as a woman you need to be found. Answer this question please - I will never GO GET or SEEK anyman - they will find me - as am in the preparation of being a wife, As a woman you will FAIL miserably if you seek and not allow your self to be FOUND instead.
simp1eone 1 year ago
@simp1eone And I bet you're still single! lol
chrisinft 1 year ago
@simp1eone many women tried this u know?look around ask around if they aren't vane they will tell u the mistake they made sitting & waiting.not 2 say ur method is wrong.but don't think ur doing anything fly by not being aggressive or proactive about finding ur mate.dudes who aggressively chase women usually chase pussy. Winner type dudes don't have time 2 "chase" u.so if ur waiting on who chases u then u might not get a winner..b pro-active..don't b scurred.. u want it to be 1 way but its not.
DoomCity202 1 year ago
@simp1eone.I couldn't agree more. She's got the roles just a tad twisted. A woman is designed to RECEIVE love.and the reason that most men agree with her is because she's doing what a lot of women do...allowing a man to lean back and RECEIVE all the love/dedication and focus she's willing to give. You don't get a man's love by DOING, you get his love by BEING/FEELING and allowing him in so that he can NOURISH and WATER you. If I wear "stilettos in the kitchen" it's because I FEEL sexy doing it..
Msprettybigdeal 1 year ago
LOVE YOUR SELF FIRST BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE ANYBODY, THAT MEANS STOP CONTROLLING ONE ANOTHER, STOP LIVING IN HIGH EXPECTATIONS AND ASSUMPTIONS, TALK ABOUT THAT BEFORE GETTING MARRIED, IF YOU BEEN TOGETHER FOR YEARS AND DECIDED TO GET MARRIED, AND THEN GET A DIVORCE AFTER A YEAR? YOU DIDNT TALK ABOUT YOUR EXPECTATIONS AND ASSUMPTIONS, YOU BETTER OFF NOT GETTING MARRIED, IF YOU WAS TOGETHER ALL THAT TIME, YOU DONT NEED PAPERS FOR THAT, THATS MY OPINION, IM JUST SAYING..
sonebone7 1 year ago
Well we gonna do all this for them, what they do for us besides going to work?
sexyelli 1 year ago
@sexyelli What she is talking about went right over your head! Sad.
chrisinft 1 year ago
I wish girls who think they are a women need to study what U-r teaching, you are exactly what I'm looking for, ur what I called an intelligent women. The girls I've dated have this illusion they know what they want,mature,and know how to treat a men and think there ready for marriage, but they don't even come close, most of there problem is living in a fantasy and want more then what she cant do for themselves I want to get marry but to a real women who got my back and will truly luv me.
rob46409 1 year ago
one of the best sermons i have ever listened to, thanks Sister Shanel, pls keep up the good work!
gihonjaya 1 year ago
Hey Nel, I think towards the end of the video you discount the fact that there will be certain stages in a person's life where they are concentrating so much on themselves, and relishing the stage they are in that they truly dont have the capacity for an external relationship. And I dont see anything wrong with loving yourself by yourself.
Each individual knows when the time is right: Preparation is key... and one of the stages of preparation is being happy w/Yourself (ALONE).
jm2c
-Tko
TonyaTko 1 year ago
FINALLY!! Another woman who shares my views!! I am already married, however learned long ago from watching sucessful marriages around me that the wedding is one day but your marriage is supposed to be forever You have to plan and nurture your MARRIAGE! Take care of what you worked so hard to find. Shanel thank you for sharing this!
DAVESGIRL830 1 year ago
yes
DoomCity202 1 year ago
I am so glad i found your vids.I'm a young women 23 and I'm open to all your advice your great!
chickensalsa09 1 year ago
she need to make a vid on why women should start to pursue men . . .the way these women act like men now a days they really should approach em too . . . . .
jpaul1985 1 year ago
YOU NEED TO BE ON OPRAH!!! SO SERIOUS!! :)
Love23Lise 1 year ago
I AM A WOMEN HEAR ME RAWRRRRRRRRR !!!!!!! hahahahahaha that was funny to me.
shannonsurreal 1 year ago
i pooped
SchubaSky 1 year ago
That is true Silkravage
reyrosario007 1 year ago
I would love to talk too you in person you are very intelligent what is your degree in hit me up
Creoledog 1 year ago
I know what you mean and I understand what you are saying. And you are right. You seem to have a clear understanding about what is really important. BTW, I love the part about living in joy.
amatron201 1 year ago
so from a womans point view who seems to have it all together to say the least, how would a man go about finding and even keeping a woman like 'that'?...anyone gota answer...
MrBenjaminLegend 1 year ago
finally a real woman who isnt bashing good men and is telling women 2 stop blaming us and get themselves together!!! thanks
youngTaharka 1 year ago
Will u marry me??
logician3 1 year ago
In looking at society now, traditional family is not being considered a "fairy tale." She raises good points, though.
hwiseman1 1 year ago
i agree with u this is all good if u have a GOOD man but he has to be doing the same thing as well. if im preparing myself to be a wife & mother he need to be preparing to be a husband & father.
oohkillertofu 2 years ago 6
!!!!
kwesi45 2 years ago
Ok..so what do you think about Beyonce and Jay's relationship? Do you think it is based on love? I mean...he did "put a ring on it."
Also, I agree with you....it's what you do outside the bedroom that really count.
Annazayla 2 years ago
excellent video
marcdaddy33 2 years ago
Great Video,Shanel..But I still must say that your,"Man Repellent video is a "Classic"
chenderson30 2 years ago
WOW Ive only met two women in my life that think like you. My mother and my woman.
tombstone999 2 years ago
I needed this Shanel. Thank you.
BreNatural92 2 years ago
I'm probably the biggest anti-marriage proponent in the country and I want to marry this woman.
MrBlaq 2 years ago
Will this make him get and keep a job? I take it you are talking about keeping a man who is worth keeping. We too often settle for poor material and try to make a bond. If he is a good adult man, then girl put on your high heels and your thong and get in that kitchen. But doing this will not grow a backbone in a man where none exists.
apubenj 2 years ago 3
PREACH!!!
flawlessjewels 2 years ago
Where can I marry this woman!?
nativesun 2 years ago
Honestly I need a woman like you in my life...I need my girl to see this right now. She need to be your best friend for about 6 months and just learn from you.
HeRestoredMe 2 years ago 2
@HeRestoredMe lol....that was cute.
shrthairdntcare10 1 year ago
PREACH!!!!
"Go sit down somewhere..." lol
SC2point0 2 years ago
This woman wanna make me shed some man tears! Damn, she speaketh the truf, preach sista!
twesam 2 years ago 2
This women is amazing! Jesus Christ why don't most black women think like you? I truly believe that most of the good black women our on lock down at an early age.
rudebwoy1974 2 years ago 17
Great message. I've said similar things for years but it falls on deaf ears sometimes. Good job.
nicolemclean 2 years ago
good looks nicole
talentscout77 2 years ago
Shantel, I hope and pray that you blow up in popularity. You need to have your own talk show or radio spot because the garbage that's being spilled out as relationship advice with these so called celeb experts is pure garbage. For once, it's refreshing to see A WOMAN like yourself speak out with such balance on building healthy relationships without feeding into the cataclysm that continues to divide Black men and women. Peace my beautiful sister.
jaypmba 2 years ago 3
She is truly a queen.
repo21 2 years ago 2
I love this woman
she's like one of the few women with Sense!
she's da truth
GunStreets 2 years ago 2
Wish there were women with her attitude where I live.
yorickman 2 years ago
I'm so in love with this woman....
27Commonsense 2 years ago
You know what, Shanel? I am one of your virtual coachee and I listened to most of your
teleseminars and I must say that THIS video hit the spot. Maybe I've learned so much things in the previous weeks that I understand better now but this video is definitely helpful. Keep what you're doing girl! As for me, you're waking me up little by little!!
sugababe971 2 years ago
Thank You for this Vlog...
BeeNaturalMe 2 years ago
This woman is AMAZING! It almost makes me sad, women like her are like a shooting star. Amazing and astonishing to see because of it's brilliance and rarity....
whatkindaboi 2 years ago
Keep speaking wisdom, my sister!
~~~Blessings~~~
destined4mo 2 years ago
Absolutely loved this video Shanel!
NaturallyFay 2 years ago
Excellent...Excellent!
Perhaps hope can return to our relationships. One may say that "hope never left". But one would be surprised at how many people "hope did leave".
Khemistry101 2 years ago
Thanks Shanel, love like a sister.
medialab23 2 years ago
Excellent submission, Chanel as many prepare themselves for the event and are ill-prepared for the day o/ days after...hat is the point of applying for a position that you are highly unqualified for?
RoninSoul75 2 years ago
I totally blame Disney! LOL! Seriously though, that "fairy tale" can happen...you just have to let it happen with the RIGHT person! If it's not, then soon as that "honeymoon phase" is over then someone is looking to bail out. It's all about choosing the right partner, having YOURSELF together, and most importantly being PATIENT! You can't rush God's plan. Wait for that "right" person and in the meantime prepare yourself. It'll be more than worth it in the end.
DiamondGeminii617 2 years ago
You said it honey! Great video :-)
Buddhalocks 2 years ago
They are so quick to yell out that they are independent and wearing that as a badge of honor that they have no idea what it is to be a wife. Most really don't want to be a wife at all, they just want the wedding day.
Silkravage 2 years ago 28
YES! I been saying that for the longest.
justinjbutler 2 years ago
That's true of a lot too many woman nowadays. It seems that men get married because they feel obligated to do so and women get married because they want nice wedding pictures. The times of my parents and grandparents when being married meant something seem to be coming to an end. I've seen so many examples that prove this.
kuunami 2 years ago
@Silkravage
More importantly, girls should not scream what they want until they blossum into women who understand who they are first, then they can better assess their needs. People need people. That is fundamental. so really, females have to spend time matruing, learning to be truly honest with themselves and avoid being spoon fed self destructing lies.
amatron201 1 year ago
Thanks Shanel! : )
SurayLibye 2 years ago
I AGREE
Cassia777 2 years ago
thank u!
hoopdreams07 2 years ago