Patton Oswalt - 80s Metal

[hotmercedes]

Patton is Very funny, but he does not make my top 5.

[terrorfirmasky]

I saw this special on TV once & they showed Scott Ian from Anthrax in the audience during this bit & he was laughing his ass off.

[87shadowfox]

I love the butthurt, nostalgic,neanderthal,nutthugg­ing retards who don't have a sense of humor. The more shitty comments I read, the more I can tell Patton has struck a cord.

[coondiggity]

Great video!

[TimothyADonaghue]

I've never thought this guy is funny.... and I still don't...

[sinbysin666]

The 80's sucked for Metal. In the 70's, metal bands were looking like gypsies, or hippies. In the 80's they looked like professional wrestler, but in the 90's they went back to the hippie look.

[DeliciousPoop]

patton just isn't as funny as a lot of the other comedians........ but i do like his effort

[rjtaylor1241]

What a twerp--a fat homo trying to be humorous--full of shit

[pretorious700]

@rjtaylor1241 12 years old, maybe?

[esKpea]

@rjtaylor1241 sucks that you have no sense of humor. good luck with life.

[boobengarden666]

i have the feeling he was watching a manowar video

[spunkybrewster1972]

Love Patton, but he obviously wasn't getting laid in the 80s. It just wasn't his time. Could you imagine a Weeble in spandex?

[hall9111]

I bet Patton would love Brutal Legend.

Eddie Riggs, "Where I come from, this guitar makes noises; here, it blows stuff up."

[enki714]

He's funny but, gimme a break. Aside from the guys with long hair, he basically described Billy Joel's Allen Town video. The bands he named were pussies too. While having respect for their talent, again, gimme a fucking break. IRON MAIDEN, DIO, OZZY, METALLICA, MEGADETH... That is METAL. Kin'll Up The Irons!!!

[a89dc]

@enki714 Iron maiden are shit shit shit

[microsoftnerd4life]

@homersimps1. Yup, they're all fucking funny.

[homersimps1]

Has Patton Oswold ever said a single funny joke?

[Marcel7452]

i love metal but i still find his comments funny

you know if you wanna laugh about other you also have to be able to laugh about your self :)

[SeeYouNextTuesday0]

I wish I could squibbily doo youtube comments :(

[hammurambi]

Squibly falbbily doo!

[Davetacular45]

Patton has an Oswald the Rabbit shirt? That is brilliant

[Nevidge]

@Davetacular45 That's Felix the Cat.

[Davetacular45]

@Nevidge I don't think it is, you can kind of see the long rabbit ears and puffy tail. Also, only Oswald wears those blue shorts.

[FantasmaBAnco]

Ted Nugent's a fuckbag.

[InKa4484]

"Show me your weenis!!!"

[roblarosa]

Dude's right. The music was great, but the videos were gay.

[Gluesponge]

That's why I listened to Testament, Overkill, and Exodus in the 80's. ;)

[aerofanone]

Wow, now I know who this shitty comedian was trying to appeal to, a bunch of cynical assholes who have nothing better to do with their lives than sit at their computers and call absolutely everyone that doesn't think the exact same way, or who make music they don't like that much fags. By the way I do listen to Lamb of God and its no huge fucking deal its all music man, you all just have to CHILL THE FUCK OUT, take a deep breath, and relax a little. Maybe then you won't be such dickheads.

[mlm382]

@aerofanone saying "chill the fuck out" in entirely capital letters is a tad hypocritical dont you think?

[LetsNostalgia]

80s metal fucking rocks, and so does Patton Oswalt.

He's right, glam metal looked gay as FUCK, but the music was still excellent.

@sejnitram

Lamb of God is fuckin' rad and all, but they're not better than Judas Priest or Iron Maiden.

[whoissarthak]

@LetsNostalgia Fck yeah man.Well said!

[Sober182H]

@LetsNostalgia And Judas Priest and Iron Maiden aren't as good as Watchtower. What's der point bruzzah?

[LetsNostalgia]

@Sober182H

Okay, so I had to Google them, and being an Austinite, I had to check them out. I'm glad I did - however, I must say Priest and Maiden are still better.

[TheMrmi22]

Guys from 80's metal bands would be the first to laugh, because they fortunately have enough brain left to spot an obvious joke! As for all the rest with surgically removed sence of humor, more luck to you next lifetime.

[seblasto]

@TheMrmi22 Funny thing, during his special where he used this joke, the cameras showed Scott Ian in the crowd cracking up.

[TheMrmi22]

@seblasto l rest my case!:)

[sejnitram]

@aerofsnone Listen to Lamb Of God or other real bands and be forever changed for the better. Fag...

[aerofanone]

Fuck You Oswalt. Def Leppard, Motley Crue, Poison, Scorpions, Whitesnake, Guns N Roses all kick so much ass. Any one of them could literally suck a dick on stage, not that any of them would, and it would not be as gay or suck as much as you.

[travisfig85]

@aerofanone he wasn't saying their music is bad, just that they dressed gay. reality check, def lep, poison, whitesnake and motley crue, all suck dick through their music.

[LanryLeeFefeby666]

@aerofanone C.C Deville has sucked a couple of dicks for coke and I would guess Ricky Rocket has had a cock or 15 in his cheek. I don't think Patton named any of the bands you did DAMN YANKEES!! 

[dstarr5d]

Why do people without senses of humor insist on watching comedy clips on YouTube?

[ShantyIrishman]

Fuck this guy, metal is awesome.

[AreYouGuay]

@ShantyIrishman you know you're gay then eh?

[ShantyIrishman]

@AreYouGuay 80s New Wave was way more gay 80s metal

[HanoverFiste3]

Dude.. Motley Crue got laid more times in a single month than this dude has throughout his whole life.

[ravenouscolonelhart]

@HanoverFiste3 yeah and your point is.... muhammed over there with 15 slave wives got laid even more. hell no one will EVER beat genghis khan for that. Like 1 in 3 asians is descended from that guy. So according to you he must be awesome. nice attempt at values there, "Dude." Maybe think a bit next time if you can. Or no wait, I'm sure something good (that is aimed right at you) is on TV. This is getting boring anyway now right...

[passiveMenis]

@HanoverFiste3

Who cares?

[strangeways75]

typical fucking asshole

he can go fuck himself

[FenderFM212]

Just in case anyone was wondering, that Damn Yankees video is "High Enough"

[MegaCokamo]

Kind of sounds like Billy joels- allentown video hehe

[danccu]

All those guys back then got more pussy than a toliet seat.

[SWKentertainment]

@danccu toilet seats only get thighs, ass cheeks and stray urine.

[Brad21121]

If you liked those 80s hair bands or glam metal or whatever you want to call it if you like it I don't think your a metalhead your a poser slayer is metal anthrax is metal megadeth is metal poison is not metal motley cure is not metal and ratt is not metal there boy bands with guitars

[pkattk]

@Brad21121 My car is made out of metal. It's metal.

[ohrwurm]

I don't like all the whiny comments here complaining-- SQUIBBILY-DOO!!! THEY'RE GONE!!!

[MrNikolaid]

I'm a metalhead, and laughed at this XD

[Wulfiebaby]

It's funny, but I wouldn't call most of the music he references metal. Still, it butthurts the metal guys, who are unbelievably sensitive for people who claim to be so hardcore. And that makes me laugh.

[jeffrd16]

Not a Fan of this.



[RattleheadAnthony]

i love Metal but this is funny because its true. patton is talking about the gay glam metal shit like motley crue and poison. so idk why this cobias dude is tripping out. unless he is a fan of said homosexual genre...

[chrisd4thee]

@cobias, i wasn't making fun of unfortunate dead people. i was making fun of people that we are all fortunate to have dead. i'm sorry if my comments were misconstrued in any way. also, good effort on the gimmick. at least you're trying.

[cobias]

Im listening to Ministry right now. Patton Oswalt...by the way, what kind of name is Oswalt ? But Oswalt is still a hack. I fuckin love Gay 80's metal too. Mmmmm brett Michaels !!! Yummy !

[marvtherat]

listening to some Night Ranger brought me here.

[Deanbass77]

Haha the mullet joke was worth sittin through that whole thing.

[chrisd4thee]

and in another cruel twist of fate, Cobias misses the Great White fire show due to rocking much too hard with Jagermeister and passing out in his mom's garage three hours beforehand, thus leaving him free to speak his mind on the internet.

[cobias]

@chrisd4thee So a fire where innocent people that were enjoying a concert died is a grounds for a joke ? To bash me ? Brilliant.

Patton Oswalt is a comedian like Gary Shandling, Gilbert Gottfried , Billy Crystal. They work hard enough just to stay in the limelight but they really aren't that good. I remember when he told the "80's metal" joke before youtube. There was that look on his face like " i hope they buy it and it makes me look cool." He a relic of the alt 90's. Next.

[cobias]

Gay ? Who got more pussy in the 80's ? Patton Oswald or Bret Michaels ? That's what i thought. And all these comedians that use gay or fag as if it were bad. If you asked them if they were homophobes they would say no, but they use gay as a negative connotation.  Gay or straight the 80's were way better than alternative garbage , rap and the shit we have today.

[MetaI4Brains]

@cobias

Bret Michaels and Poison were probably the gayest band of the 80's. To quote Dave Mustaine: "If you have to dress up like a chick to get people to listen to you, 1. You have unresolved issues in your life, and 2. Is your music even that good?"

[cobias]

@MetaI4Brains So a guy that dresses up girly,who is obviously not gay,and got laid a lot in the 80's is gay,and in a gay band, even though there is no suspicion that he/they are gay at all ?Judast Preist has a openly gay singer but no one calls them gay? So when you say gay, you don't mean homosexual , its a derogatory term because you think gay people are lower life forms. Just like this dope Patton Oswald who couldn't get laid in a monkey whore house with a bag of bananas.

[cobias]

@MetaI4Brains And i have been to Metallica 5 x, Megadeath 3x , Slayer 1x, Godsmack 2x, Pantera 2x, ect.....Scorpions 8x, Van Halen 4x, Quiet Riot 3x , Slaughter 1x, Great white 3x , Poison 1x, Ratt 2x, Kiss 3x, ect Guess what group of concerts had the hottest chicks ? Guess what concerts had us saying " Great band. But,wow ! Look at those titties. " That's right, the latter group.

[MetaI4Brains]

@cobias

Oh, is that why you're so uspet, because Patton is poking fun at some bands that you like?

[Sunoyi]

@cobias If you really thought these bands were good, and these chicks were that hot... you'd realize that you don't need to defend them against a comedian.

[daleprechaungold]

@cobias Shut up fag!

[pivot1022]

@cobias grunge was better...

[FenderFM212]

@pivot1022 yeah! At least those guys didn't give a shit about what they looked like. They just woke up in their flannel shirts and went onstage lol.

[pivot1022]

@FenderFM212 Yeah, And at least most of them had some talent!

[smacknig]

Sure it's fun to be a critic - but only small minds complain without offering a solution. To quote Patton's hit movie: "But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so."

[smacknig]

I don't understand who has the time and inclination to watch comedians that they don't like so they can then complain how unfunny they are. Either share with us your amazing sense of humor by describing how this humor could be improved or stfu and stop wasting our time. It's like all the Bieber complaints -- it doesn't move the conversation forward.

[thedarkknightfall]

I think it's hilarious that there are 28 people who don't like this. You've got to be a humorless fan of those bands to not love this.

[TheDSil]

In the magic system of Oswalt, "Whackety-shmackety-doo!" makes things funny, and "Squibbely-flabbely-doo!" makes things awesome. What other powers does he possess?

[Ichiboy900]

FYI what he's describing is glam. I don't think Slayer or Death would fit into what he's describing.

[ladylejean215]

SQUIBBELY DOO! hahahahhaha!!!!

[GuevaraX5]

This ass clown reminds me of Ricky Gervais. Why? because both are unfunny little fucks. They think they are funny but reality says otherwise. So dream on you unfunny little skidmarks.

[smacknig]

@GuevaraX5 Patton is one of the funniest stand-up comics working today. I'm curious who you think is funny, Carrot Top?

[GuevaraX5]

@smacknig one of the funniest? he's as funny as a fire in an orphanage. If he is one of the funniest then it doesn't say much for the stand up circuit of today!.

[CoolerKing37]

@GuevaraX5 You're just pissed because he made fun of a genre of music you like.

[GuevaraX5]

@CoolerKing37 Pissed? no. I have heard ignorant people all my life making fun of the genre. You get used to it after a while. You just have to face the facts buddy, this ass clown is as funny as Ricky Gervais. And that fat little toad Gervais is as funny as watching paint dry!.

[CoolerKing37]

@GuevaraX5 Thank you for proving my point. And hair metal still sucks.

[jefftam1234]

I like he is wearing the shirt of "Oswald the Lucky Rabbit". (the prototype of Mickey Mouse)

[MachineKing1313]

lol its funny to make fun of the metal scene 20 years after wards, but I am sure Patton was a big fan back in the day, and we all know those metal heads in the bands got some serious pussy, so much they had to turn down even the best.

[xCOWBOYxFROMxHELLx]

Fuck you Patton oswalt

[TheDarthEddie]

24 people have bad mullets.

[yoji0]

No more mullets!? Oh, Jiffy Lube's hiring!

[ac23AQ]

Glam Sucks.

[zampano54]

I wish my guitar sounded like Adam Sandler

[Redeye1524]

So comedy today is describing a music video and then saying "Squibbly doo"?

I don't see the humor in that. Am i missing something or am I alone in thinking that he's a pretty lousy comedian (he was ok on King of Queens though)

[CowardStern]

@Redeye1524 You're a humorless tool that's why.

[Redeye1524]

@CowardStern Squibly doo

Now I'm a comedian

[mercanus71]

@Redeye1524 You do realize that this isn't his only bit right? It's calld observational comedy. If you don't get it that's fine. But he's obviously making pretty good money being a successful comedian, so I'd say he's funny to a lot of people.

[bleedingeyes08]

@Redeye1524 You must be a Nightranger fan.

[bleedingeyes08]

@Redeye1524 You must be a Nightranger fan.

[cyphr6]

@Redeye1524

You're probably one of those guys that constantly berates and criticizes everything he comes across in life, am I right?

[littlequeen64]

Exactly........the 80s make me sick........literallly.

[trey8047]

Dislike

[kaoicdjsmixes]

I got love for this guy to funny!!!!!!! lmao

[ZimMan2]

I want a guitar that goes "Squibbly Dabbly Do."

[emmers57]

"Jackyl with a Y"!

[Evster2012]

Somebody wasn't getting laid in the 80s. Here's a clue folks, the chicks dug metal guys and metal clothes. Laid is laid. Nuff said. And the chicks were hot. Evolution doesn't work over a decade or two. They were hot hot HOT! But then was then. And so will say the guys with all the underware and pants hangin down a few years down the line who use "beyotch" as a tagline. Sorry you missed out. Cry me a river. Sorry if Patton couldn't get laid when he was 20. Thanks for the memories girls!

[dkthg]

@Evster2012 lighten up.

[Evster2012]

@dkthg Dude I was totally playin! I find it ironic that someone tracing weeks old comments on a Patton Oswalt rant is telling me I need to lighten up, lol!

[dkthg]

@dkthg I would reply but i'm too busy replying to this other comment from 4 months ago.

[RFLAGGSTAND616]

Scott Ian of Anthrax is in the audience!

[eds1791]

Fuck this nigga

[Ryu12543]

Thrash metal and death metal ftw though.

[iweargoggles2]

he actually mentioned soad and how they're Armenian

[presumablydani]

Ow, goddamn! you... Armenian geniuses!

[CluckinAmazingRetro]

"Squibbly-blap! Pip-pa-pip pip dead"

Genius.

[quesondriac]

How is it possible that I missed this. I listened to Heavy Metal during the 80s.

And now I realize, it has a lot of gay motifs.

[HACKERSUCK12121212]

@quesondriac glam metal dude not every 80's metal band

[hafabee]

Somebody needs to tell metalheads what OVERCOMPENSATING means.

[ContraCommando]

Funny cuz it's true

[jwicklun]

It's funny because they show a shot of Scott Ian when he starts talking about how gay it is.

[PaulEBotzBK14]

@jwicklun I thought I was the only one that noticed that!

[richardrdenisii]

love 80's metal

[Jcolinsol]

The Eagles of Death Metal made Patton's 80's metal fantasy come true.

[trabenispro]

@Jcolinsol axl rose much

[emmers57]

My personal favorite 80's hair band look, I was partial to the shirtless with suspenders look.

[Zarzarcon]

SQUIBBLY-FLABBIDY-DOO!!!!

[upokesack2]

he is so right 80s metal is gay iron maiden, black Sabbath and motor head was the only ones who wasn't gay .

[airashiikoneko]

SQUIBBILLY-FLABBILLY-DOOOOO!!!

lol

[Tris67]

if he is one of the best comedians today, comedy is in serious trouble

[Csp499]

@Tris67 I thought Dane Cook was the reason for that.

[evhfrankie]

They probably got more pussy than Patton Oswalt will ever get !

[sbrbarber]

Cockrock is for fags

[solidturd666]

you own nothing? that is soooooo sad

[GoblinXXX]

@solidturd666 Lives in a refrigerator box under an overpass, but he uploaded this from the city library's computer, god bless him.

[Vanjal]

@KylePlaysMinecraft I watch everything Metal 80's related. That's why I came here. I didn't search for fat people trolling shit about metal without any sense. This guy is a faggot.

[LittleChinaBoy17]

Oh shit this is hysterical. I love it!

[ralfisloved]

The sparks making factory joke is true!

[bosman395]

Oh come on. Patton is one of the best comedians out there today. And I love 80's metal. Thats why this is funny, because somebody funny, is pointing out some of the cheesy things about stuff we love. Both Patton and 80's metal are AWESOME!

[LordOfNothingham]

@bosman395 Really? I'll take your word for it cuz he hasn't sold me on his comedic talent here.

[TwilightCodex]

@bosman395 Precisely, I love 80s metal too! haha

[thrashtilldeath09]

lmao we could have lost the entire mullet haircut in one weekend..but pattons wrong...how the hell is music about fucking chicks played by guys who fuck chicks backstage after playing the songs onstage about fucking those chicks, gay?

[michael17415]

its funny how he "forgot" to mention how every hairmetal band was playing a song about women, sex and rock n roll. oh yeah. thats gay.

stupid fatty

[ABEJOHNDERDANSER]

@michael17415 not as gay as you.

[michael17415]

@ABEJOHNDERDANSER oh wow you got me there. ouch

[michael17415]

@RevinKoy sorry man its just not funny to me. and i have a great sense of humor, bro.

[Vanjal]

@michael17415 Word up. Fatty is jealous for not getting enough pussy and the hair metal dudes are always sticking their dicks in hottest chicks on planet.

[michael17415]

@Vanjal dude you freakin rock. long live the 80s

[michael17415]

fuck you patton your not funny

[Hal566]

lame, not funny



[JoeAuriun]

@Hal566 Yeah, I don't really see the comedy. Not even the audience seems to be laughing much.

[livefastdierrhea]

people from that erra are gonna be in nursing homes and facing mortality soon, God bless you hair metal bands now that you found sobriety, because you realized every rose had its thorns, and nothing lasts forever and we both know hearts can change

[cbaile]

...cause they're dangerous! There's a 48 year old guy from Styx in that band! Arrest them!

[kissfan1313]

Scott Ian was seen on the special. Thought I'd mention that.

[CyberPunkStefan]

no 3:36

[warrant1989]

ofcourse someone fat and stupid as patton would insult ppl who cared about offending ppl by being fat. go to hell patton.

[GoongalaGoongala]

80's Hair Metal was pretty gay. Spot on Patton.

[drdontcare123]

I always thought Ted Nugent and Superman had a lot in common

[Eagle3396]

suibbly doo!!!! lol XD

[GoblinXXX]

@Eagle3396 Thanks, Night Ranger!

[skyace47053]

lol!!!!!! So TRUE!!!!!

[Reviresco]

Nice vid. He later added "Jiffy Lube's hiring!", which was a better finisher.