Nostalgia Critic - Milk Money 1/2

[TheDarkNeonHero]

Aw great...Nice to have Pittsburgh be the place of a bad movie. *sighs* thank god The Last of Us will make it better.

[solodatemaru]

I think I know what happened. Clearly this movie company and a porn studio accidently got their scripts mixed together and that's what happened.

[rsa1027]

ohhh btw that city was cincinnati same place as airborne

[Munkinbabe]

Milk Money does suck because it's sick and wrong. I seriously think those three nerds should be forced to register as sex offenders and the prostitute in this movie should be in legal trouble for exposing herself to minors.

[Ne0MT]

@Munkinbabe dude chill out its a movie, the critic its pointing the plot is incredibly bad... but is still a movie

[Munkinbabe]

@Ne0MT I was joking I don't think the actors themselves are despicable. The characters they portray are despicable.

[pariastabendesa]

13:05

[Munkinbabe]

How did the producers who made this movie get away with all the content in this film.

[KingManOld]

@Munkinbabe I blame hollywood

[dexdex1560]

at the part of the Christopher Walken impression, I almost spat ice tea all over my computer.

[zombiefreak5000]

I'm going to the So op

[villi1997]

am i the only one who thinks this movie is a prequel to full house

[IwillKillYourCereal]

@villi1997 I know I'm being a super nerd by saying this, but Jesse from Full House was a couple years younger than Danny and Joey, and the kid who looks like Jesse from this movie seems to be older. Yeah, I know, nobody gives a crap XP lol

[sephiroth900000]

13:06 Epic Clark Griswold quote.

[GordonMc100]

thank god the internet was around when i started wanting to see boobs

[Goryparodies]

0:27 - 0:34  - I dunno, how did Fooly Cooly work? LOL :P

[lampini]

2:31 NES NES NES

[Goryparodies]

@lampini I know, this movie was released in 1994, around the same time the NES was dying down.... P.S: I have an NES :D

[EgaoKage]

And AGAIN here (11:40) they look turned on!.. omg... The blond Christina Rici one looks like she belongs in the "Jizzed In My Pants" music video. FFS!

[EgaoKage]

To take the awkwardness to an even greater extreme; the 1st time those two girls with the ice cream see the hooker, do they look... like... they're undressing her with their eyes? o_o They just had this sort of.. lecherous look on their faces.

[Caboose039]

I think this movie is what they show at those churches that worship Satan.

[ChemicalDespair]

Screnwriters cliche # 300 crying while sitting on the shower floor while clothed as it washes over u, we all might need it after watching this

[mariotaz]

My song bought me a hoo-

Damn, guess I'll never find out what he bought his dad.

[finalfantasy8911]

Headless Horseman laugh at 08:52 o'clock.

[YOURNOTSAFEAGAIN]

HALLEHLUYA HOLY SHIT!!! Where's the tylenal

[Ninjasantaclause]

This movie might be one of the worst evwr made the people who made it are probably buring in hell the people who say loosin up this movie would be fine if it was on conedy central with washed up comedians but this is meant to be a FUCKING FAMILY MOVIE!!!!

[Shadowlit001]

@Ninjasantaclause

Relax bro, sex is fun for the whole family.

[missdeathknight13579]

I think this is the episode when my friend became an NC fangirl.... why do I feel creeped out all of a sudden? T.T

[pochopaz7381]

@Joecb100 concentrated, purely and super concentrated evil

[Ingamevirus]

ummmm. . . Is NC . . . gay. . .?

[Avatarass]

@Ingamevirus not gayer than you are

[charmy97]

@Ingamevirus  N to the O

[tricksterhuaun]

@Ingamevirus Because he don't like a "family" movie who talks about prostitution?

What....ooooh. you're trolling huh

[Ingamevirus]

@tricksterhuaun You mean the Hallmark idea of "family"? Fuck that. She is hot and i watched this movie as a kid and it tot me that "prostitutes" are people to. You don't like that? Don't worry. Real world will ketch up whit you soon enough.

[TheGentlemansShadow]

Even with NC's commentary, I found this agonizing to watch.

[arkki112]

milk money... why do i feel its something dirty

[Vidhole]

one of those girls at 3:38 would probably show them if they asked

[papershadow69]

BAD TOUCH!

[InsaneOddBall]

4:11

V for Vagina

[MrWarners14]

I hate this movie...

[MikeyTheMikeSprite]

That music that plays when the kids pull up their shirts - I know it but I can't place it! What is that music from!? It's driving me insane!

[Mysticsloth]

hmm, I think... as far as I remember I had some good laughs when I watched that movie back when I was little.. ^^

why do people make such a big deal out of sexuality when there's brats involved *lol*?

I just don't give a crap. :P I'm not human.

[Alexiosbutcher]

Damn ! I knew I wasn't human!

[mikethedevil10]

What a dispicable fucking film. I hope those kids are dead. 

[NyraLunaEXE]

:| :| :| I just ate breakfast....time to unload it in the toilet. :|

[Lmac731]

this movie was on siskel and ebert's worst of '94 list

[billa107]

The Cab Driver is the only normal person in the movie...

[spam1138]

is it me or does the dad look like Ewin Rommel?

[danvseverything]

i told my mom i was watching this, and instead of getting mad that i was, she laughs and said it was a GREAT MOVIE!!!!! WHAT. THE. FUCK!?

[TheRealGreenAutumn]

lol i loved this movie



[monsterboy31]

LOL The laugh when the Critic sends the movie to Hell is the Headless Horseman's laugh from The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.

[monsterboy31]

I think I finally figured out why the scene where she shows them her breasts is tinted red: We're going to Hell for watching this.

[CrispyJell]

"SHE'S A BITCH ASS WHORE FUCK!"

[PuckAmc]

0:42 Just did. Hurt like Hell.

[harlanmiller]

my feeling isn't so much a tingling in my neck but a desire to vomit, does that still make me human?

[snakeboyguam10]

What a weird movie!

[Stiny114]

I honestly have no idea what either of those things were...

[lokey478]

if i watch this and get caught by the police is this going on my rap sheet

[WheatDos]

2:48 Actually that reminds me of Chandler, Ross and Joey from Friends respectively

[casablanca4381]

wow WTF! good god messed up but funny as hell!!

[MissAngryGinger]

...is anyone else wondering why the Critic owns a garter?

[seanpatrickcain2]

4:37 ZOMG

[seanpatrickcain2]

3:16 IMAO

[seanpatrickcain2]

1:55 ROFL

[XxX08AMAXxX]

Nostalgia i loved the Christmas Vacation line at 13:07 LOL!!!

[agenteastwyoming]

holy freak



[Werewolfprince4500]

Okay, if that one boy was so poular a gigantic line of girls wants to try on his jacket surely to God at least one would blow him and his freinds, seriously.

[TheSlickAndroid]

This movie is just sick. sick in so many ways. and the Critic is right, Its disturbing how they make a premise this messed up and try to make it cutesy. It's like a borderline porno equivalent to an 80s kids movie.

seriously, why was the director not sent to prison?

[BethGoth15]

I have a skin condition on the back of my head. Does that count?

[captain959]

your all going to hell

[ZeldaGiygasLord603]

9:08-9:14

Hookers

They scare little girls

Sex in a family movie

makes people wanna hurl

You pay Randy now

[TheSlickAndroid]

@ZeldaGiygasLord603 Why do we live in a world where Randy Newman is allowed to write music?

and the way those little girls kept saying,"that is bad. That is very bad." was kind of disturbing. I thought they were lesbians or something.

[AntonyBlalock]

This movie is bad. it is very very bad

[lu4y4pants]

I feel dirty....

[TheodoreMcFail]

That eerie music when the boys lifted up their shirts was hilarious.

[AandKproductions9000]

Im ashamed they filmed part of this movie in my home town.....

[SEVENTEENCINEMA]

I had no respect for Melanie Griffith anyway, and I lost some after this.

[Anosplicer]

damn son dees white folk you'd call white people are fucking embarrassing laughable disgusting actors that are probably monkeys wearing human skin.

[ARCADEkid55]

Oh hi movie, fancy meeting you here let me introduce you to my man hitler.

[MrPine23]

Those kids even look like Joey, Jessie, and Dan from Full House.

[FanboysSuck343]

What kind of teacher assigns an oral presentation of this kind of subject to like a 12 year old anyway?!

[Anosplicer]

this movies awkward levels are fucking ovar nine thoooouuuuussaaaaand

[ZXLPK42]

Milk=boobs

Money=whores

and im correct

[nyg1781]

3:45 that's the same city used for Inspector Gadget. Tall gray building on the left is Claw's place.

[AtlantaCommercials96]

@nyg1781 Pittsburgh?

[MarioMatt19]

....awkward...

[Joecbg100]

This is pure unconcentrated evil, directly from Satan's ass.

[totalinsanity42]

@Joecbg100 nothing is worse than the star wars holiday special

[Joecbg100]

@totalinsanity42 Just thinking about Wookie's singing Christmas songs is making my nose bleed already.

[LokitheCajun]

@totalinsanity42 Wait, the what special? NO! Does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute, does not compute......;

[StupidWizardFilms]

@Joecbg100 And Even Satan Is Thinking "Damn, I'm Way Too Cruel"

[Joecbg100]

@StupidWizardFilms And then Saddam is saying "Hey, relax, guy."

[StupidWizardFilms]

@Joecbg100 Then Satan Replied "Your right. Let's showed them Santa Claus and The Ice Cream Bunny Instead." Thus The Events Of Darksiders Two Took Place.

[Joecbg100]

@StupidWizardFilms I gotta get that game, oh and Prototype 2.

[downsouth420]

Love his coffee mug at 2:04!

[puregenius7112]

I give up.

[puregenius7112]

What the fuck!?

[JesusGirlz09]

He should've added "conveniently dead wife" as another screenwriting cliche

[Humbaphunbaba]

This is Bad ..... very very bad ..... x way to many times

[Marinenoob17]

@frootafaloom im sorry, noone hears about the south but everything else people hear on tv.

[Guigley]

@cyberlord64 No. I am not 8. But thank you for asking.

[cyberlord64]

I have no idea what the directors, producers, actors and generally everyone involved was thinking when they were making this movie. I mean noone, NOONE looked back and said "WTF ARE WE DOING HERE???" In fact this review was funnier than the actual film.

[sonadowfangirl30869]

00:08 i don't know about others, but nostalgia critic scares me

[Stiny114]

I got that feeling in my neck. Guess I'm still human.

[lol1143]

I did not get the tingle

Does that mean the internet as taken all my humanity?

[starwarsnerd100]

@lol1143

probably

[tricksterhuaun]

I was a kid with my family when i watched this movie.

GOD It was awkward

[declanwatson]

ok there are bad films in this world, terrible films, god awful movies. And then there's this movie, the first film that makes me want to kill everyone involved in this film, from the director, right down to the smallest extra. Im ena, im still baffled this film was actually made, or even the idea concieved. Seriously what the flying fuck!

[pakibukas]

holy shit i feel so icky!

[zombiefan011]

Was that Cherries song at the beginning in every movie in the 90s?

[Molkifier]

Human Centipede doesn't compare to the amount of creepy in this movie.

[Anosplicer]

@Molkifier oh god I haven't seen that movie but I heard shit about it. this dumbass idea of a family movie is bad, but it can't possibly be worse then that

[powersoftritone]

This may be the most disturbing film of all time

[cowsanonymous]

The only thing preventing this movie from becoming as awkward as it can be is Christopher walken.

[supermegaman88]

@cowsanonymous

yeah but he would have made it at least a guilty pleasure so too bad :(

[cowsanonymous]

Thumbs up for every who threw holy water at their screen and yelled "The Power of Christ compels you!"

[billa107]

Jesus this movie is creepy. It screams immoral. I mean who the hell wants to know if their mom was a virgin before they were married? And they watch porn together? The first few minutes are enough to make anyone not want to watch this crap.

[CornedBeefSurprise]

YOU DIE DOWN THERE MOVIE

[mariodude1sonicman2]

I mean #137 not #128

[mariodude1sonicman2]

Movie cliche #128 dead mom

[Padme234]

what the hell....honestly that is my reaction to this movie...what the hell....

[ShirosakiX]

This movie is hilariousssss

[mrdropkicker1]

Lord, zi just want to tan this movie's hide with a friggen belt. These little boys are so foul and perverted that I would rather this movie be about them going to juvinel hall for sexual assault and!!!

[Straif5]

Lets see...we've got the nerdy, obsessive kid, the clueless younger kid, and the leather-wearing "badass" kid. Oh joy, it's the stereyotype gang!

[incrediblehulkmovies]

Dick Benjaimin is obviously a crack head.

[Applemask]

@incrediblehulkmovies The Delos Incident traumatised him even more than we feared.

[June28July]

I don't know about everyone else but if someone told me this happened to them when they were younger, I'd be fascinated. I'd be like "deeaamn, for real?"

Makes for a funny story I guess..

[YorkJonhson]

Awkward levels, off the charts...

This film should buurrnn... lol

[MrHeslopian]

This movie is horrible. Who thought this would be a good idea for a family comedy? That's a serious question. Who? I normally scoff at the idea of a movie being immoral, but Milk Money has to be the best advert I've seen for hysterical censorship and hand-wringing about the decline of old-fashioned values. Three young boys raise money to pay for a prostitute and are threatened with a gun buy a mugger who lures them into an underground car park? Who wrote this?

[ThePhantom135]

5:57 I don't think the cab driver's acting here. That's a genuine WTF look.

[Straif5]

@ThePhantom135

Not going to argue there...

[StrangeEmily88]

Omg it's the American Pie kids.. hahaha.

[Bowmaj21]

"I'm sorry, is this how white people act? I mean I'm white, and I'm incredibly confused!"

Has that become an internet meme yet?

[Joecbg100]

9:07, to make matters much worse, NEWMAN!!!!!

[Joecbg100]

Malcolm McDowell and Ed Harris, one question: WHY!!!!!!????

[Applemask]

I like the title "Milk Money", and the poster was cute. I have described the only good things about this film.

[TheZach467]

One time someone meant to say hitch hiker but said hitch hooker.

[Greatsaiyakirby]

4:44 Seriously, what woman just slaps a prepubescent boy on the street like that? Okay, he asked if she was a prostitute, but you get arrested for hitting children. But hey, this movie is totally devoid of reality anyway. :p

[greatsage4ever]

5:57 that cab driver is taking this awfully well. If I were that guy I'd pull over, claim I needed a pit stop and call the. At least she didn't ask them to pull down their pants.

Is this really a family movie? Really?

[PianoSaraTimBurton]

Why Malcolm???

WHY??



[billa107]

Creepiest movie ever....

[LEGOMANIAC419]

(spits out water) "Why is it that I'm always drinking when a scene like that happens?!"

[pieguy11000]

you ever fart and sneeze at the same time?

[Mynameis708]

This one boy in the money somewhat looks like Haley Joel Osment.

[finalfantasy8911]

Milk Money: Hello, I'm a stupidly awkward movie. Am I going to hell???

*Nostalgia Critic pulls something to send the movie to hell*

Satan: YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH! HA! HAHAHAHAHA! YEAH H----HA HA HA! YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH! HA! HAHAHAHA!

Nostalgia Critic: You're going to hell. You're going to hell, movie! I'm so sorry!

Milk Money: PLEASE NO!

Nostalgia Critic: No, no you stay down there! You stay down there and you DIE! YOU DIE DOWN THERE, MOVIE!

[TPrower]

Three little boys are obsessed with seeing a prostitute naked...to quote the Nerd, "WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!?!?"

[VengadorDorado91]

02:55

when he asked if that sounded familiar, I thought in Chandler,Ross and Joey from Friends :P

[MrJetsFan100]

I love... the song that starts playing at 00:13

[Guigley]

Man, I could not believe this film existed when the Critic reviewed it. The fact that such a nasty, mean-spirited objectification of women and completely twisted view of what it means to grow up could be marketed for families is just plain sick. What I wouldn't give to eradicate every copy of this film from the face of the earth.

And what the heck is that thing at 1:01 ?

[amazingcomedy2]

@Guigley I don't think its meant to be offensive, don't get me wrong, it's a wierd ass movie, but it's not a "nasty mean-spirited objectification of women", there've been movies, while not exactly like this one, but with a similiar plot of "main characters think this character's hot" where the main characters are women and the "hottie" is a man, and it's not considered what you said this film is. Just sayin'.

[cyberlord64]

@Guigley "what the heck is that thing at 1:01 ?" OHAHAHAHAHAHA! Seriously? what are you? 8?

[maniacaldude]

8:27-9:01 and 10:47-13:11 are the best parts in this review, in my opinion.

[Digitalsp33r]

Why was that kid routing in Sakuya's drawer?

*Knifed*

No-one get the reference? Aw...

[2u4uraqtdd]

This guy reminds me of my ethics teacher! Oh God!!! Must be some type of a philosipher! Hey man why don't you become a professor?

[neoman289151]

Lol

"GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE I KILL YOU!"

[TheAeroAvatar]

Can anybody believe that the screenplay for this damned atrocity cost $1.1 million when it got greenlighted?

[billa107]

Thank God, I have never seen this debacle of a film.

[TheAeroAvatar]

Worst excuse for a comedy I've seen since North. Seriously, this was extremely painful to watch.

[billa107]

@TheAeroAvatar Poor excuse for a comedy? You didn't see Garbage Pail Kids...

[TheAeroAvatar]

@billa107 Ooh, I've seen it, trust me, the NC review AND parts of the movie itself. Extremely painful, I felt unclean for days after seeing the review. That's no exaggeration, honest-to-God.

Still, not even North caused me the mental and physical pain this movie did. It's ungodly sick and ungodly unfunny. Not as bad as GPKs, but these movies are all in the same league.

[jedidarrick]

Ed Harris is a great actor and deserves better than this movie.

[mrbloodmuffins]

@jedidarrick I cant believe that Ed Harris who played John Glenn in The Right Stuff played in this terrible movie.

[Antichthonic]

So...is the only decent person in this movie the cab driver?