I agree with the too many labels thing. It's getting to the point of needing a cheat sheet to know whatever flavor of asexual a person is. I have had the same feelings for two women at different times of my life. I grew fond of their presence and even fell in love, although I would not think of them in a sexual way. I was just really happy with knowing them. Since the last episode I have not felt anything close to it. Still aromantic and I'm stickin' to it! Dagnabbit!
@bibbeny Yes, I am old enough to use words like "dagnabbit, carnsarnit and geewillikers" . Oh and just kiddin' 'bout needing a cheat sheet. Everyone is entitled to be who they are, but can we get tee shirts or somthing?
@bibbeny HAHA! Totally acceptable. I'm always throwing around crazy slang like "Jiminy Crickets" and what not. I agree, granted it'd make us all look incredibly pretentious, wearing tee-shirts would make identification so much easier. Then again, wouldn't that take the fun out of things?
Yes- THAT definition: platonic trust, then romantic attraction! That's something I feel too, like- I'll just say I'm a panromantic ace 'cause it's simpler, but I really am demi-romantic or something. Labels, labels, blaaah!
LOL your drawings. XD
Yeah...I mean, what really IS the difference between a platonic life partner & a romantic life partner?? I don't knoooow! This video was just ah~ so amazing, but I'm still terribly confused about myself. Thank you though. ^__^
@Merrymer I guess the only difference is doing romance-y things...or maybe centring a relationship around romance-y things. Like, in a platonic partnership you talk to a person, confide in them, and have good time. But then in a romantic relationship you do all of that and more (like kissing and cuddling and stuff). Then again, lots of friends hug and kiss. UGH! This is confusing. I think it's just a feeling, romantic relationships feel romantic and platonic ones don't. WHAT IS ROMANCE ?! xD
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO! I recently had a discussion with a friend of mine about my romantic orientation and where it stands because I had sort of a panic about not being able to put it into 'human words' about identifying as demiromantic. I usually just identify as queer, but I get a safe feeling when I figure these things out.
@ShoneCakePastryPie :) Yeah, even if they aren't things you openly voice in your identity, there is always that sick sense of satisfaction knowing that you can explain yourself down to the nitty-gritty detail.
I just wanted to say, your description of your squish was pretty much the story of my life. Seriously. I've gone through that probably four or five times in the past year. It's always nice to hear stories from people who have similar experiences to me. Makes me feel less crazy. :)
Anyway, I'm curious: I've got some ideas as to why my squishes don't last very long; do you have any theories about why your squishes end?
Here's my theory (and it sounds totally terrible written out): When you have a squish on somebody it's usually because you have an interest in them. But if you get to know them and end up friends, you have achieved your goal. Sort of like pursuing somebody romantically; once you have them the problem is solved. Another reason (if you don't end up friends) could just be your brain giving up or getting bored. That has happened to me as well :)
No, that makes a lot of sense! My favorite theory (regarding myself) is: When I have a squish, I want a super-close friendship with the person. But once I get to know them better, I realize that we aren't really compatible in a super-close-friendship way, or else that they aren't the kind of person I thought they were. Another problem I have is, when I try to develop such a close friendship, sometimes the other person will develop romantic feelings for me. Then I lose interest FAST. :/
@queenoficecreamtopia That too. I have one friend who I am super close with. A few years ago it was absolutely insane !!! We'd do everything together, talk non-stop, and we even called each other "Liebchen" (German pet name). Now that we're older and farther apart in distance we're not quite so intense but still incredibly close. Going off of what you'd said, it can be difficult to find people who just want to be friends on that close of a level, but when you do it is lovely. Don't give up ;)
@girlygirl3721 Yeah !!!! UGH! I adore Skrillex possibly more than I do cake *shhh* But actually, I was seeing Borgore xD I don't know why he mixed so much Skrillex into his set.
This is fantastic! Thank you so much for this video! I've been identifying as demiromantic for quite a while now, and I'm so so so glad that you guys on HPoA are finally giving demiromanticism so much more visibility within the asexual community than ever before! <3 :D
I agree with the too many labels thing. It's getting to the point of needing a cheat sheet to know whatever flavor of asexual a person is. I have had the same feelings for two women at different times of my life. I grew fond of their presence and even fell in love, although I would not think of them in a sexual way. I was just really happy with knowing them. Since the last episode I have not felt anything close to it. Still aromantic and I'm stickin' to it! Dagnabbit!
bibbeny 8 months ago
@bibbeny Yes, I am old enough to use words like "dagnabbit, carnsarnit and geewillikers" . Oh and just kiddin' 'bout needing a cheat sheet. Everyone is entitled to be who they are, but can we get tee shirts or somthing?
bibbeny 8 months ago
@bibbeny HAHA! Totally acceptable. I'm always throwing around crazy slang like "Jiminy Crickets" and what not. I agree, granted it'd make us all look incredibly pretentious, wearing tee-shirts would make identification so much easier. Then again, wouldn't that take the fun out of things?
ExsRAUS 8 months ago
Yes- THAT definition: platonic trust, then romantic attraction! That's something I feel too, like- I'll just say I'm a panromantic ace 'cause it's simpler, but I really am demi-romantic or something. Labels, labels, blaaah!
LOL your drawings. XD
Yeah...I mean, what really IS the difference between a platonic life partner & a romantic life partner?? I don't knoooow! This video was just ah~ so amazing, but I'm still terribly confused about myself. Thank you though. ^__^
~Southpaw
Merrymer 8 months ago
@Merrymer I guess the only difference is doing romance-y things...or maybe centring a relationship around romance-y things. Like, in a platonic partnership you talk to a person, confide in them, and have good time. But then in a romantic relationship you do all of that and more (like kissing and cuddling and stuff). Then again, lots of friends hug and kiss. UGH! This is confusing. I think it's just a feeling, romantic relationships feel romantic and platonic ones don't. WHAT IS ROMANCE ?! xD
ExsRAUS 8 months ago
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO! I recently had a discussion with a friend of mine about my romantic orientation and where it stands because I had sort of a panic about not being able to put it into 'human words' about identifying as demiromantic. I usually just identify as queer, but I get a safe feeling when I figure these things out.
Also, A+ for Skrillex and Doctor Who.
ShoneCakePastryPie 8 months ago
@ShoneCakePastryPie :) Yeah, even if they aren't things you openly voice in your identity, there is always that sick sense of satisfaction knowing that you can explain yourself down to the nitty-gritty detail.
ExsRAUS 8 months ago
That was so helpful! I didn't know what a squish was or that that even existed and i always tried to explain my feelings to myself and other people.
It's like a lighbulbe went on :)
SpectacularButEmpty 8 months ago
@SpectacularButEmpty Haha, the same thing happened to me. I think it was originally Southpaw who had told me about them :)
ExsRAUS 8 months ago
I just wanted to say, your description of your squish was pretty much the story of my life. Seriously. I've gone through that probably four or five times in the past year. It's always nice to hear stories from people who have similar experiences to me. Makes me feel less crazy. :)
Anyway, I'm curious: I've got some ideas as to why my squishes don't last very long; do you have any theories about why your squishes end?
queenoficecreamtopia 8 months ago
@queenoficecreamtopia
Here's my theory (and it sounds totally terrible written out): When you have a squish on somebody it's usually because you have an interest in them. But if you get to know them and end up friends, you have achieved your goal. Sort of like pursuing somebody romantically; once you have them the problem is solved. Another reason (if you don't end up friends) could just be your brain giving up or getting bored. That has happened to me as well :)
ExsRAUS 8 months ago
@ExsRAUS
No, that makes a lot of sense! My favorite theory (regarding myself) is: When I have a squish, I want a super-close friendship with the person. But once I get to know them better, I realize that we aren't really compatible in a super-close-friendship way, or else that they aren't the kind of person I thought they were. Another problem I have is, when I try to develop such a close friendship, sometimes the other person will develop romantic feelings for me. Then I lose interest FAST. :/
queenoficecreamtopia 8 months ago
@queenoficecreamtopia That too. I have one friend who I am super close with. A few years ago it was absolutely insane !!! We'd do everything together, talk non-stop, and we even called each other "Liebchen" (German pet name). Now that we're older and farther apart in distance we're not quite so intense but still incredibly close. Going off of what you'd said, it can be difficult to find people who just want to be friends on that close of a level, but when you do it is lovely. Don't give up ;)
ExsRAUS 8 months ago
Skrillex!!! :D
girlygirl3721 8 months ago
@girlygirl3721 Yeah !!!! UGH! I adore Skrillex possibly more than I do cake *shhh* But actually, I was seeing Borgore xD I don't know why he mixed so much Skrillex into his set.
ExsRAUS 8 months ago
This is fantastic! Thank you so much for this video! I've been identifying as demiromantic for quite a while now, and I'm so so so glad that you guys on HPoA are finally giving demiromanticism so much more visibility within the asexual community than ever before! <3 :D
ErikProuvaire 8 months ago
@ErikProuvaire Aw :) Glad we can help.
ExsRAUS 8 months ago