Jumper Movie Review by Confused Matthew and Stand In Stan pt1

[SuperFabioff]

the top comment is gay... ah shit

[mrwhippy101]

everyone i know LIKES THIS MOVIE WTF ?

[mrwhippy101]

@mrwhippy101 SAME WTF ?

[sumrndmgrl]

they can fall from high heights because they jump from super high to just a few inches above the ground, so the impact is like if you just stumbled or tripped

[TheDalinkwent]

To be honest while the film wasn't great, it could have been salvaged if it at least had a decent main character. Hayden spent every fight scene tied up and unable to do anything, his acting didn't help either.

[Densaku]

If Jumper is the Mercedes Benz of bad movies Star Trek 2009 is definitaly the Lamborghini, Avatar is the Bently & 99% of all remakes/reboots are F1 racers....Lol

[SnarkLicker]

These reviews are my little moment of sanity in a life populated by a significant other who has a genuine thing for this kind of bad movie (this movie included).

All of this ridiculously plotless cgi mess of color and noise... he just loves the bejeezus out of it.

[MrDavidFILM]

I've just seen the trailer of this film....And just based on the trailer, I knew that this were going to be a shity film!!!

[Curseco]

This review makes me want to see how bad it really is

[redbaron932]

@Curseco dont your wasting hours of your life

[ignominni]

This could have been the live action of the manga X 1999, but they FAILED! It would be perfect because the set pieces are HUGE and the characters are so small, but very powerful. With a real story, like the FATE of the Earth hanging in the balance this could have just been X 1999.

[MisterBIGM0UTH]

Samuel Jackson's character's motivation was that, all jumpers go bad. I'm sure he said that line in the film. They use their powers to commit crimes. They start off small, like Hayden Christensen's character, who robbed a bank in the beginning of the film, and eventually move up to more crimes more heinous But I agree, saying "only God should have the power to be everywhere" was a bad description of a Jumpers ability. But to me, it made Samuel's character sound insane. Still a bad film. XP

[DJVQS]

I think all movies have errors like the notable bloopers explained for the movie in this review. Despite its errors, I think "Jumper” is a fantastic movie. The line "Samuel L. Jackson" says was just a figure of speech and David Rice not following up on Roland’s attack made perfect sense to me, I mean he was just a boy when he discovered his power. Anyone with teleportation abilities will obviously be mindless, I mean you can do whatever you want, why study and observe when you can party and BS.

[werty3535]

lol... 5:43 Seems Hayden Christensen picks films that have characters who get away from danger by going on a date Episode II and now Jumper

[TheDarkknightrules92]

Hated this movie. 1/10

[lexlinkroy]

your too nice to this movie

[raymondleeleggs]

These people have no taste in movies this movie was good!

[Riotboy1]

My IMDB is 7/10. It was not that bad too much nitpicking.

[humbletim10]

stand in stan go and stand outside and give us reviews by just matthew again!

[Gary500]

watchin that movie i cudnt help but which i cud jump. jump the hell outta that theatre

[MyDeenRocks]

very bad movie but not the worst. 2/10

[jameskmb]

lol "he doesnt even say oww"

[Joeybsmooth]

Something else.. the guy just robbed a bank. He could have just because you are thief.

[dixie60]

just to point out voltage doesnt kill you. amps do

[AdamaGeist]

Gonna make a REALY quick point. The movie was based off of a book (of the same name) that lacked the entire Paladins part. It was about the boy, his relationships with his mother and father, his trying to fit into normal society where he WAS the only jumper... And, eventualy, terrorists. But it actualy makes sense when the villans appear in the book, unlike the movie.

Sad truth is? The book's writer rewrote it for the movie, and then decided to write MORE things based on the movie. It's... Bad.

[DarthSkater6]

These guys take things too literally. The Paladin's reasoning for the war was "Because they are an abomination, only God should have the power to be everywhere at once." They blow that up like "Durr they're not everywhere at once their just moving from one place to another really fast, duh!" Think in reality if people really had these powers. You would have religious nutbags calling them abominations and trying to stop and kill them for sure. What that power does EXACTLY is redundant.

[TheSchoolWorld]

How ironic that the only way those religious fanatics could defend their beliefs was by using technology and science to get rid of the jumpers.

[Siladh1el]

A fight scene in a "BIG ROMAN PLACE"? way to go

[Kapelannew]

you clearly can see that wrighters were protesting.

[khdude2000]

fucking cock sucking nerds...wtf this was a sick movie

[DarthCipient]

Safe to say that Samuel L Jackson and Hayden Christensen will never be in a good movie together.

[angelus4282]

Every time I hear the word "paladin," I can't help but think of the scene from "Stand By Me" where the four traveling boys all sing the theme to "Have Gun, Will Travel" to pass the time.

[CrashTestArtards]

haha 3:27 was great

[ttaggart12345]

3 35-3 50, that was fucking hilarious

[legorocks3]

i thought this movie was fun.

I Don't like your Guy's opinions.

[gokuhawks14]

legorocks3) I agree that the movie was fun, but none the less this move was written really badly.

[legorocks3]

yeah it was written pretty bad. but i thought it was pretty good.

[Sloth7d]

Yeah, I hate it when stories with good potential completely drop the ball with what is presented. The Madame Mirage comic is one of the biggest offenders of this imo.

[Sloth7d]

To this films credit, I do love how Samuel gets back at Hayden for watching him get electrocuted to death. Lol, turn about's fair play.

[MyDeenRocks]

I agree jumper was horrrible. terrible acting and a weak love story do not mix.

[dannybammy]

One thing i dont get about this movie is Where the hell did the jumper..or coat comes from?

[ChickenClaws]

you guys didnt pay attention to the movie very well. just one point where your wrong is he went back to his home town because he picked up that picture to jump to when sam jackson was trying to rape his ass hole. its not really stated that he went there for the girl he could have just been in the neighborhood and went to her house. it might not all have made total sense but i liked the movie well enough

[UltimateSpidergirl]

I totally agree with you guys. This movie sucked so much!!!!!

[SkywalkerrKong]

have you ever done a review that wasnt negitive?

i mean jesus... find something you like once in a while ya jackass

[Adiorocks949]

Watchmen,Pulp Fiction SkywalkerrKong.

ConfusedMatthew gives bad reviews,thats his things,just like AVGN does,except James does it more goofy and comical.

If you have a problem with his reviews,dont watch them.

[gokuhawks14]

He gave Pulp Fiction a good review.

[cloak211]

He has, actually.

[DiscussToUnderstand]

did you see the watchmen review?

[0637085966]

``big Roman place`` lol

[standinstann]

Decisions Decisions

When you draw a blank on the word coliseum, is it better to just say big Roman place to save time, or sit there for 5 minutes trying to think of the word.

Maybe you look like an ass either way. LOL. ;)

[0637085966]

Thats is a basic knowledge of history, you don`t have to sit for 5 min. to figure out that that is a Coloseum. I don`t blame you, I blame CA. education system.

[bonecanoe86]

I read the book the movie was "based" on as a kid. It was a good book. But it had about as much common with the movie as Isaac Asimov's "I, Robot" had with that Will Smith abomination.

[bonecanoe86]

Generally, these kinds of reviews are recent releases.

[Jerky128]

wow. Jumper was acutally good. It wasn't OMGFANBOYFANTASMIC. but. It was pretty good.

[DakidImetnhighschool]

I love hearing you guys go back and forth. These are the videos I look forward to the most when I visit youtube!

"They're not omnipresent!"

uh. I love it.

[hildegain]

1000 volts isn't really as dangerous to people as you make out considering the number of people surviving lightning strikes of 300,000 volts and the many industrial workers surviving 20k-60k volts.

It's current that really matters, when a movie tells you that someone is strong enough to survive a certain voltage, i laugh because voltage is potential and current is actual power. You know, the thing that makes you burn lol.

[TheSilhouette]

Lol, this film really is horrible.

[NikolaKovski]

Just a movie for entertainment reasons ONLY...

Great Movie!

[phil56201]

You guys are just to picky. I agree with most of your reviews, but I was genuinly entertained by this movie. Maybe I don't have such high standards for a generic superheor flick, but it wasn't THAT bad....

[Kaulen777]

Yes. Yes it was.

[8comicbookman8]

The book that this is "based" on was a million times better than the movie. The only similarities are jumping, and the names (not personality) of the characters. And Stan said that it should be action or not. The book is not action...AT ALL.

[ttaggart12345]

i loved the WOW remark, that was funny

[actorman123]

Ok, this is NOT the worst Movie ever made. The worst movie ever made was The Titanic Animated Musical. Yes, this is real. Look it up on youtube, it's so bad that no one even made bullshit claims on copyright. You HAVE to watch it.

[witchking3434]

hayden christensen was in this movie, so i assumed it wouldnt make any sense

[Steve2323ZX]

good shit

[Trekkie1450]

During this movie, and after it was over, I HATED it so much. What made me even angrier was that people around me actually enjoyed it. The truth is, 'Jumper' is an uninspired, poorly written, and just plain BORING movie. It's so boring, I would rather wait for a doctor's appointment than watch it again.

[cheeseman747]

you 2 need to review battle royal, its not a bad movie tho so it probably wouldnt be to funny a review but the movie is still great.

[theFFVIguy]

"My paladin in World of Warcraft can kick their asses!"

That made me lol so hard.

[tecpaocelotl]

I never seen it. Didn't get my attention.

[1jonssonh]

it can be hard to hear the difference behind you sometimes. ;) It took me a week to finish the movie.

[Williamsfan]

When you factor in the crew of Nero's ship, you realise that possibly hundreds of people seemed to agree with him too.

[standinstann]

that's true ;)

[confusedmatthew]

Too true!

[LeonSKennedy828]

I shall be avoiding this movie.

[DanSelli88]

did you really think this was going to be good? i mean come on dude you make some excellent observations of illogical plot failures in movies...why even waste the time on another hayden christensen movie?

[scionlightning]

Matthew, the fact that you think this movie is better at being worse(bad logic, I know) when compared with Twilight is...well just mind boggling. 0-10 for just that.

Haven't listened to it all yet, but I'll bet the complaints will be based on Haydens performance, right?

[confusedmatthew]

Twilight was bad, but not broken. This - was broken!

[metallicamonster23]

luv ur reviews

[scionlightning]

don't know whether someone's already told you, but the film is based on the book by Steve Gould, it's got it's own wiki link.

And Twilight I will fight tooth and nail with anyone who gives it any credit(as a person who's tried to read the book and felt his eyes bleed from it) I cannot in any good conscious let anyone say it's not a piece of shit, this movie wasn't great, but saying it's worse than 'I love Edward, I smell like crack cocaine'(paraphrase)is just...well, mean to cinema in general

[confusedmatthew]

Yes, I have been told. And no, Twilight wasn't THAT bad. It was bad, but it wasn't THAT bad.

[scionlightning]

I hate to do this, but then please...go to a library and read the book.

[cdciam09]

@scionlightning oh, dear sweet lord, Twilight...it depressed me. reading it depressed me. just saying. i can't insult it more, since everything negative i would throw at this stupid thing has mostly been said. But here. Twilight: shallow characters that have crappy or nonexistant reasons for being together, a stupid plot that follows the stupid formula for your average crappy romance novel, and sparkly vampires. need i say more?

[scionlightning]

@cdciam09 Well, I can at least rest easy that one person here agrees with me. Don't know why Matthew has a non-rating for the shit, but oh well...

[LeonSKennedy828]

@confusedmatthew Dude, this film was GOLDEN compared to Twilight.

[obiwanobiwan13]

@LeonSKennedy828 Isn't that like saying next to torture vomitting really isn't so bad? :p

[Raziel555666]

NO way guys!!! Watch "House of the Dead" This movie is a masterpiece compared to it!

[QuartuvLarry]

Just saying "All men should be created equal" would've made Jackson's character's reasoning more believable!

[daftrok]

Why, Samuel....WHYYYYYYYYYY?!!!

[shedininja001]

lol was it bad? :D

[stefanboro]

Meh, it was at least interesting to watch.

[bbqplatypus318]

Another question: WHY WOULD THE PALADINS WANT TO KEEP THE EXISTENCE OF THE JUMPERS A SECRET?

Many of them are stealing property without fear of consequences! You'd think people would cooperate if they knew people who could do that were running around being assholes like Hayden Christiansen's character was!

But no, like you guys have hinted at, the Paladins are retarded. There are a million motivations they could have had, and the screenwriters picked the most retarded one.

[confusedmatthew]

Or why would the Jumpers keep the existence of Jumpers a secret for that matter. Good question!

[bbqplatypus318]

Another thing about the Paladins is that they very easily could have been given a motivation that WASN'T retarded. I mean, they could have gone with "no one should be able to get away with anything they want." And when you think about it, the Jumpers pretty much can. And it's all Hayden Christiansen does throughout the whole movie.

[standinstann]

That's a good point, I told my brother that, if the paladin's motivations had been "they're too dangerous" that wouldn't have been GREAT, it wouldn't have been anything that we hadn't seen before in X men and other movies, but at least it wouldn't have been blight stupid!

[Maximara]

It is almost like these Paladins were cut from the the same intolerant irrational fanatical religious nutbar cloth as Paladin Alexander Anderson Section 13 in Hellsing who tried to kill Vampires and Protestants just because of what they were not what they had done.

[hildegain]

don't know why this comment was voted down because it's 100% correct.

Anderson didn't care whether or not vampires were good or bad and decided to attack any of them, even those of the hellsing organization.

The same can be said for this movie, the paladins are attacking jumpers..... just because... no other reason.

[Maximara]

I should mention that Hellsing established that Paladin Alexander Anderson as intolerant nutter right from the moment we met him: "Violence is never the right answer...except when used against heathens and monsters." The rest of the introduction clearly "sets" just how bigoted he is. That is why he worked and why the Paladins in this movie don't.

[Kapelannew]

hah....good call btw missed it...

[aarondrew99]

Apparently this movie was based on a book of the same name by notable atheist Steven Gould. I think it's a book that no one has read...

[bbqplatypus318]

God, this movie sucked. Worst movie I've ever seen in theaters. Hayden Christiansen's character in this movie was an even bigger asshole than Anakin Skywalker in the prequels. I didn't even think that was POSSIBLE.

[Invincible5972]

Ok I don't think he is that much of an asshole.

[abridgedfanboy]

To be fair, it IS Hayden Christiansen. Did you honestly expect him to be able to express grief, or ANY emotion beyond wangst?