Press Secretary's 'Zumtrel Flooby' Answer Attempt To Evade Question

[samofah]

These Onion actors are unbelievable!! i wanna see bloopers...if there are any..lol

[culvre]

'bioseltzering' is my new favorite word.

[napalm4sd]

I can't stop laughing.

[LordDennings]

Mimsy were the borogoves

[McPrfctday]

Jabberwocky!

[Manofaction0]

"Well Tony, Bioselsuring up your cabinry isn't gonna really corden, now is it? haha" *crowd laughs with him*

PRICELESS

[vector16]

Ouch. My brain hurts. Oooouuuch...

[cromicus]

44 people couldn't finagle a kuhbridal scopulator

[gardnerbm]

I do this anytime my boss asks me questions.

[davidbowman78]

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome did rath outgrabe.'

[SithLordRagnos]

Still 57.93% more coherent than Glenn Beck!

[davidbowman78]

@SithLordRagnos - 57.93% more coherent? That's a bit low. I'd go for the full 100%

[BitchAssssNigggggass]

tha next triday u catch that

he said triday

im gettin soo shwasted next triday

[AshkenaziKilla]

hows this for funny.....satire is a controlled form of mind manipulation. not unlike mass media. the jews who control both the mass media and the white house are very good at evading questions while seemingly answering them. so for the one guy out there who pauses and says hey these funny named people r not giving us the whole answer, there r a million others who use this episode to laugh off a corrupt regime as something humorous cannot be changed. well there lies the lie

[Bearkiller777]

LOL..

[DOYLERULES69X]

Obama does seem to be straddling both sides of the horse persons hoof on this whole health care issue. It just doesn't corden.

[rockerhead247]

you know what's weird: i kind of understood everything he said, haha

[macewindu210]

Well, Tony, mile seltzering up your cavenry isnt going to really cordon, now is it?

[wakeUPdreamers]

i love the classical strings they play at the end of these o-span skits.

somehow, it makes them *that* much more ridiculous.

[breastinspector2]

"Micheal I think I made myself pretty clear here"

[Neeboopsh]

*audience laughs* - thats so epic.

[tokinblckgie]

I wonder how long it took them to get this done without laughing...

[Manofaction0]

Lol they laugh with him at 2:00

[Manofaction0]

Lol, "Lemme lay this out for you all"

*starts talking about nonsense*

[Gerdrako20]

Why did the keep asking!!!?, it was pretty clear the first time!!! whatta idiots!

[Mpusch13]

do you uh, realize its a joke? XD

[damnthatsagood]

Much better gibberish than Sarah Palin's "fungible commodities".

[Sylriana]

Just because you don't understand what a word means doesn't make it gibberish, I know that must be hard for some of you, but it's a clear distinction.

[DeadlyGrim]

@Sylriana Just because you don't understand what a word means, doesn't make it a highly technical term that is both intelligible and applicable to situation. I know that must be hard for you, but it's a fair dinkum.

[BrujahSoldier]

i accept lol

[umahuma4]

People with ADD should be politicians, because they can be very random and/or change topic in mid sentence

[blaze00001]

I love how they laugh at 2:10!

hahaha!

"Bioseltzering up your your cavenry isn't really gonna corden, now is it?"

[chrispixem]

grapewood strob!!

Lmao!

[BeantownJim]

hahahaha well done

[AvsJoe]

'Straddling a horse-person's hoof'? Did the centaur just boot Obama in the balls?

[QuaillMan]

Let's see him weasel out of this one:

"Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"

[KraljevicPavle]

Man this guy even beats that robot

[Neeboopsh]

i know this whole script. its so genius.

[TaffyAlpha]

"ugulalator cordin of a sourbate crumbulator roofstripe corbin or strale safe urgon..."

[RonjaNoku]

Words to live by.

[jamzskee]

" i think i made myself pretty clear here "

[narozzz]

"Finnegan's Press Conference".

[LuvSprinkless]

I think enjoyed Joyce's gibberish better...

[yukiism]

careful with that name don't drop it too hard

[LuvSprinkless]

Lol...Seriously, have you even attempted to "read" Finnegan's wake? Darnit, Joyce!!

[yukiism]

look at this elitist socialist muslim reading books and things!

[terryhooting]

"...they've got a lot to say and it's right at the cusp of their throats."

Ahahaha! I love that line.

[logansGT]

".....and the president can't just finaggle a cobridle scopulater

[stormyshorts]

"Today's tri-day is tomorrow's bi-day." Hahaha so great.

[WutWolf]

I think we'd be better off with the stradelsafe urgon. we have to protect our future you know

[Duveng1]

wtf i dont understand him

[iilikefeet]

that is the point duh

[Duveng1]

i didnt get that until later man, i was all 'wah??'

[AvidHobbyist]

That's the point. What I don't understand is how you can't understand that.

[Duveng1]

lol, i have a gibberish to english dictionary.

[Tydus00]

Today's tri-day... is tomorrow's bi-day.

So he's really straddling both sides of the horse person's foot.

[jamironited4]

Its Obama in a white mans suit! :o

[RMT87]

Sounds like something George W. Bush would write for an essay.

[ThePsychoReturns]

Heh.

I think they borrowed the actual script used by the real press secretary for this one.

[MrByng]

he sounds like one of those double talkers

[MongoMcMichael]

Five for revealing McCarthy's source of inspiration. Do you think they got the script for this sketch out of 'Blood Meridian'?

[jevicci]

I've always said that the president can't just finagle a cabridle scopulator without a grapewood straab. It's fucking stupid to think he could. Seriously, get your head out of your asses, people.

[dhwcda]

my thoughts exactly!

[jevicci]

It's just common sense, really.

[dAvrilthebear]

Scrpticly and scrapily!

[prodigyat9]

"I think I made myself pretty clear here"

[prodigyat9]

Should it worry me that I understood every word this guy said?

[sizzlakalonji7]

"bioseltsering up your cabinery isn't really gonna cordon now is it?"

[AvidHobbyist]

I love how the questioners laugh along even though they have no idea what he's talking about.

[FallenKr3wsk8er]

god i love the onion

[herunarivelice]

That was no satire. Same stuff from the real secretary, just presented in a more professional manner.

[romantistcaveman]

". . . So he's really straddling both sides of the horse-person's hoof."

[seeionlywanto]

My favorite

[DescentToCocytus]

I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying.

[tribukaribe]

a grapewood straab......what!!!!!!!

[KajiCarson]

We need a transcript.

[Karlifornication]

but here's the crunch..

[midwestplaya]

"Well the presidents got a scriptical cabinry, but heres the crutch: Ugular lader corden of a sourbait, cremular roofstrike corben, uh or..strailsafe ergon. Its really either one tony." LOL

[totalyawsomedude123]

how often does the onion make a new video?

they seem every 3 days,and each one is funnier than the last

[spacecase7000]

This is just too pronking funny.

[NE0NBL00D]

"Alright folks, scrapely, scripticly and scrapily. Scraply."

[KeratinizingSquamous]

lolololololololol

[noneschton]

"Well Tony, Bi-urnal seltzering up your cabinry isn't gonna really cordon now is it."

[Dinyctis]

"Well look, Catherine, Catherine, let me lay this out for all of you here, Okay? I'm going to do it as simply as I can. Today's triday is tomorrow's biday, and the President can't just finagle a kuhbridal scopulator without a grapewood straab. You know, as they used to say down on the farm, it's bagnum raildrake. Scooped with your own hand out of the bottom of a lakewood pondtree, so he's really straddling both sides of the horseperson's hoof, okay? Next question."

[bubblehead696]

That speech sounds like an "Abbot and Costello" routine!

[Dinyctis]

Bahahaha!

[bloodyugly]

Well done! A parody that would make Orwell proud! 5 stars!!!!

[y2knoproblem]

That pretty much sums up all the information coming from D.C.

[FlyingGOATWithaCAPE]

diplomacy is a lightning rod with a branch on the interior side

[UdallIn72]

I think he said "anterior."

But still amusing.

[WeatherManToBe]

LOLOLOL!

[biglane4u]

lol freakin goofy

[lummi20]

lol wtf. i swear it's like i don't even speak english.

[desiiii420]

CJ Craig eat ur heart out.

[AlrightBub]

The Onion is for Morons.

[LeetVajda]

:( ... you can't mean that.

[td000]

no you are a moron

[AlrightBub]

I know, that is why I read the onion....duh..You obviously didn't get the political satire in my comment. Geeeese louise.

[td000]

shut the fuck up

[Comprised]

agreed

[watchingmewatchu]

I know you are, but what am I?

[slawrence89]

there was no satire be had you fucking dolt.

[foreaal]

1.28 to 1.43 HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!­!

[cromicus]

what the fuck is a triday haha

[davidthedirector]

Those are exactly my thoughts.

[transhuman7]

I have to learn to talk like that.

[Chaotischesneutrales]

Anyone know the name of the song at the end?

[TurangaBLEU]

"Lick My Love Pump" by Spinal Tap

[simonjeste]

almost, but not quite.

I know it's not LMLP cuz when I first heard it, I did NOT weap instantly.

[RakeBone]

yea they so beat around the bush and make up words on the spot

ZUMTREL FLOOBY

[GIVEMESOMEMONEYguy]

GIVE ME SOME MONEY!!!

[lookupsoldier]

I'm out of breath.

[TheArtOfTheComment]

While the press secretary's recitations of sociocultural half-truths may resonate with the upper half of the volition to whom he overtures, I would be quick to add that envelopes like this were so manila at one point that they almost eclipsed the bibs of the senate's highest ranking gluten manufacturer. Only a Penobscot would cast aspersions on such a fledgling public servant as Barrett, given that his wife once matriculated at Seton Hall College. But these are just mid-fiscal-year standings.

[Seedr0]

I'd have to take off several triumvirants just to intrude such a delectabulosa without re-rupturing my eclecentrofid.

I relation, the second point is not quite fernetecalitically encompassearing to my purtencipulant. So, in short I would say seven or so would make more sense.

However, there is a catch, the ultimate trunt force for chulent isn't quite the magnisoteric telemanuvering we are used to, it's now turned into episoditical methodentostry... but, I say we remember to support our troops!

[TheArtOfTheComment]

Seedr0, this is typical snowmarketing claptrap, straight from the guttersnipe of backbar politics! At least our numbers don't show a connectivity remastery, because that would enable the Anagogs to outsource their own classrooms! And where would you be then? Stuck between a nattering nabob and its interject, that is where! So in the end, I understand the clabunitarianism of your position, but I simply can't shavel your reluctance to go to war with Goburvia.

[TaffyAlpha]

I side with Seedr0. Whereas the Nabobs may dispute the revro-connosence of our numbers, there is no reverence to the pronks that the state is sinking. Side-up numbers corclabdicate that with respect to our present economy we're no where near to the center-line.

Furthermore I side with Nancy Pelosi and the other Penobscotts that it's gorbaving to ressanobble the bonkers with flooby-herence. Nevermind the fact that the Charts don't add up, this is necessary!

[gorgeousaur]

I think you're oversimplifying it. The fescobulates over-deniscan the variables and that causes demdoos to trilobtomen the hatroods.

I'm more on your side with the Penobscotts than the opposition, but we need to find some middleground on such a touchy subject.

[TaffyAlpha]

gorgeousaur, remember that while the hatoods in recent years voted less with the oppositions than the trilobtomans, historically these men were often associated with the high-voting power mongers we seen in congress today. I'd hate to say it, but the volitionary compass to which all power is ceded cannot be encompassed with such crystillia-variables which you presented, hence the demdoos would be given the authority to empower the greatest chlorophylliation faulty.

[LuvSprinkless]

I am surprised those are...actual vocabulary 8/

[samofah]

lol

[JustKiddingFilms]

LOL! thats exactly how they speak ahahha

[Demonmack0]

Haha, makes PERFECT SENSE!

[nxal]

-Can you clarify the President's stance on the carbon emissions neutrality proposition before Congress today?

-Well, the Presiden'ts got a scriptical Cavalry... but, here's the crunch...

lmao

[clueston]

LOL

[clueston]

Major BS-er

[FinnishKnife]

Hehe! It's just how some talking heads really sound!

[zecnobot]

After watching the David Wilcox interviews I went to bed and when I woke up my alarm clock was set one hour in the past. 2012 Enigma

[doggiefly321]

Life imitating art - something like this happened recently: watch?v=Ih_r6gaItG4

[cromicus]

i feel like i need a new table in my sector right about now...

[zedy87]

"I'm gona do this as simply as I can... the president can't just phanagle a jibridle scopulator without a gragood scrud" best line!

[SerbAtheist]

Bigly wiggly flip flum flee... picky packy pack pack whack... dumbl strooomble-woomble blippity blippity blim blam floo...

[faker999]

This vid truly did punch the sledgehammer, in the tall vernacular, if you catch my drift.

[SharkDude1]

I think the only person who can understand this jargon is Bush himself, or that homeless guy who wears foil on his head and preaches in front of 7-11 on how 'paper cups' are conspiering to whipe out the human race and take over the world!

[einstin2]

Wow, I got less information about the world then I would have gotten from the teletubbies.

[jbcoops]

vorpal words in hand, uffish in thought he stands, obfuscation at its best!

[CheezeyWeezey]

0:02

[GerogeJohnPaulRingo]

HAHAHAHAHA Sense: 0

To bush: 100%

[cannedfoodTA]

0:50

[wadestation]

1:00

[fr3tburn3r]

it took a second to realize i wasn't supposed to understand

[AinurX]

Me too.

A little more than a second, actually.

[FulinYu]

It's Bush-speak 2.0

[doughmayne]

am i the onlee 1 who kant undirstand wat hez saying???

[johkonut]

thats the point lol

[swankydee]

I'll translate for you. Its easy, strailsafe scaffley, to underestimate the lakewood pond's interior side is A-1 in this sector. Indeed you cant finagle a combridal scopulator, not in today table my friends.

[HarvsPenzance]

Well done, I couldn't have put it less clearly if I tried! :-)

[Neeboopsh]

bialseltzoring up your cavernry isnt really going to cordin, now is it?

[swankydee]

No but the turfball issues keep increasanising.

[peanutbutterswirl]

nyahahaha greatness

[rihoko]

haha i gotta admit.. i'd love to have some of his skills.

[jrcvines]

HAHAHAHAHAHA

i watched this twice cuz i didnt get it the first time

[10pigdog6]

This makes more sense than anything Dana Perino says.

[msdiediedie]

Was this Bush's press secretary or Clinton's? I don't remember seeing him before.

[cromicus]

Wow. Fool.

[Beadbud5000]

LOL!

[musichalloffame]

He is noone's meatpuppet. His view is tottally PRONK as it relates to the price of milk in china. but then again I can see why the other party would try to catch his flyball...but there is one problem, there is no angels in the outfield this game!!

[dls412]

horse person's hoof! lol

[kdwormy]

hahaha!!!

[transhuman7]

hahahaha

[GaySingleMulatto]

This is staged. He's not a very good actor. Orwellian speak. Phony. Canned laughter. Stinks -

[shmeeonceagain]

course its staged havent you ever seen the onion?

[greg5566]

hello?

[Ruskiedann]

Seeing how the Onion is a fake newspaper, I would definitely assume it's fake.

[thostrup16]

gee... You think?

[Beadbud5000]

Well I donno... They are as honest and forthright as FOX!

[bassplayer211]

you're not very bright are you?

of course it's fake! the entire point was the orwellian speech, the attempt to mask his meaning behind words and figures of speech no one can understand. the point is that that's how a lot of public officials talk in an attempt to evade the public.

[theblackBay]

finally the onion posts real news, he answered every question That's what Democracy is about! that's Freedom! wow! Go Democracy Go Freedom! watch em go!

[dejahthoris]

Dessicated Vulture- rofl

[goldfinchmom]

Sounds just like Bush/Cheney speak! Hilarious.

[cgraham1930]

this shit hits it right on the money. great stuff. it even had that c-span look and feel to it.

[pAtriOtiCYoUth]

He's got a lotta nerve to even mention a roo-stripe korbin at a time like this! LMAO

[haobio]

What the heck was he saying?

[ryusheila]

Well how splation kablosk is flaggter? ha kaltopps! The speelpin witzlep the niyoging plont!

[oggasteen]

well spoken.