My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun (Sonnet 130)

[SuperTakashii]

Very nicely written, very natural :3 One of my favourite sonnets :3

[sticakki]

Damn to Shakespeare, he made mad to study his weird old English!

[sticakki]

@sticakki *"he made me mad..."

[250Ninja818]

Excellently done

[Tejbooo]

wow the last part was great!

[xcstud7]

Pretty good job. The pauses are what gets you because I think you're trying to indicate some kind of thinking when the thought keeps going. The long pause before the 13th line is unnecessary because the shift from all the other images to the next will allow the reader to recognize the shift without a pause. Just some notes is all, maybe want to look deeper at the text and stay of the pronouns but other than that great job

[Francisebean]

Beautifully passionate. Refreshing to see it with passion and not simply recited.

[1balintkornel]

just signed up top say I enjoyed this. it almost makes sense :-)