How Can A Shy Guy Learn To Flirt With Girls?

[Ignepotens]

@nickoberon One of my friends has varied success with meeting girls on facebook, the thing that stops me from doing it is how do you know that they dont think you're creepy? I'd much prefer the club as people are usually there for similar reasons (dance, get drunk and hook up) not chatting to your friends as you would do on facebook, and i think you are much more easily able to gauge a situation in real life, you know where you stand more, but i would like to learn the facebook teachings!

[ZachJamesFriend]

@nickoberon what are some good sites to go on?

[minicremeegg]

dude.. thx ill try it but after 2 years of rejection i dont think it will do anything

[831chrisbrown]

Nice advice

[shankapotam1s32]

@tsoto247 you get one life. The first girl I asked out rejected me. Now I have an awesome girlfriend

[ilovedrugseveryday]

just one remark id like to make: when there is "flirt" in the title, teach me some flirt Master! You should rename this one to "WHY to chat with girls on the net"

[Necrastis]

Unfortunately in some countries like Greece women only go onto dating sites to post bikini pictures and look at their comments in the morning to feel better about themselves. Not to actually find a date :P

[MrRyanMayer]

Hey Stephan are you german? I thought I heatd an accent.

[tallyhoman911]

i feel like hitting my head against a wall a thousand times till i die... because the girl i said hi to me in class when i was about to leave then i just mumbled sjdkls got nervous and took out my ipod nano and pretended it was a cell phone then walked out of the class feeling like a stupid ass and knowing that probably blew all hope of being with her X_X

[lunarman29]

OK I tried that online (mainly craigslist) and I got eaten alive by trolls. I have zero natural flirting skills, and to make matters worse in fact I was raised to see flirting as promiscuous - and my father teased/taunted me like crazy so I see it as disrespecting someone. I can't force myself to put somenoe down unless they're my mortal enemy.

I actually do better with dead-serious girls IRL.

[Tsoto247]

I have avpd and I'm too shy to talk to anyone because my greatest fears are criticism and rejection so I am scarred that I'm going to embarrass myself if I talk to a pretty girl and they are going to think I'm weird and never talk to me again

[45infamy]

you right andyflys we just want to fucked them,not married them,

[XXxxretrogamerxxXX]

Having OCD doesn't help :\

[haloboyFNFAL]

you need to be russian

[Gallardo13x3]

Here's my motto: Dont Chase, Be Chased!

[theindianguy94]

@Gallardo13x3 but if everyone followed that motto

who would chase?



[mcpartridgeboy]

he s white, there no need for a westerner to be dateless just go to a 3rd world country and get a prostitute wtf is the problem here

[jackie20ization]

sorry about all this

what stuff do you go on to meet girls online are the dating websites scam?

[stephanerdman]

@jackie20ization Hey, here are some places to get started: facebook, badoo, plentyoffish....even the old myspace still has millions of girls on it that you can get in touch with...you don't need to 100% "dating site" to flirt with girls online and meet them...Stephan

[9675818]

True

[EricSchwin22]

I was a shy guy in the past , and have been rejected 5 or 6 girls, however, there was one cute girl that had the balls to come up to me and get to know me as a person, and that was the best day of my life...she is now my girlfriend, and I just wish more women can chase the guys...it would be a much better world.

But? Most women want the guys to do all the work...it's just the way it is. LOL. That's life I guess. :)

[mikemadoni]

@EricSchwin22 i had the exact same thing. except she droped me after 4 months

[brunoupinheeus]

@EricSchwin22 true dat my nigga

[santran]

@EricSchwin22 Mine too.

[69Funkster]

stephan i have an important question...i went to a fair some days ago and i see all these beautiful girls and its just me n my boys and i ask myself...is something wrong here?i have the urge to just go up to some girls and talk to them so we can all hang out together...i just straight out dont know what to say...i mean i´m courageous enough to go over but i just straight out dont know what to say...nothing crosses my mind...can you help me out?

[nerdsneedmoney]

hi, I am 15 when is the right time to ask a girl out? I mean, should i ask her out on the first conversation we have if I know she is interested? Aswell, does getting her number mean taking her out on a date and getting in a relationship?

[MrGrasshopper4]

dear stephan, its been 4 years ever since ive seen my dream girl. I have a good background with girls but whenever I talk, its like the words are stuck inside my throat. What would you do? please reply, Sincerily, JH

[Dudetomdude]

IM-ing is different from real life though, as you've missed a crucial point. That point being is that when you're IM-ing, you can take a few minutes to come up with something to reply back to the girl, and she would be none the wiser. In real life, you can't really think. It's reply after reply after reply between each other, you have to talk straight away. That's where I suck.

[andyflys]

dear stephan i dont care about all this i just want to get into their pants.. how many bitches do you fuck a week? i bet if i had your face and accent or if i was taller i could pull so much bitches imean i have my bootycalls but they are getting old.

[shinyWEEDProductions]

@andyflys This is 2011 nobody likes whores anymore.

[TheMadFedje]

@andyflys 1:44 that taller thing must be a shout out to you lol

[Wookieman809]

@andyflys You need to learn some manners, asshole. Don't be a douche to women, treat them good and caring, and you might get a girlfriend.

[ImmaVegit0]

@andyflys lol with that attitude you wont make it far. Thats like asking i dont wana go through a maze i just wana smash through the walls to get out.

[slipsonic]

wow finally some advice about women from a GUY who is obviously irresistable to women lol. advice about women from women(*cough* Digits declassified *cough*) its just stuck up chicks spouting bullshit that they think they want, but not what they really want.... so what im trying to say is..........SUBBED!!!

[slipsonic]

@dillonfan1234 your not a loser im the same way, this guy is awesome he has good advice!!!

[03Srbija]

society jaded women! they want man w money confidence etc etc not a nice guy!!! nice guys r boring but u must have a balance therei was raised to have women come to me approach me, but in this country man must do everything im screwd i guess blisters on my hands is what im stuck with...

[flowman282010]

this really does work, iv been in therapy for 4 months and started this iM thing 1 week ago to understad my progress with the same principle this guy mentioned. it really helps to understand where you really at when communicating with people-

[3dollarsp]

thumbs up if you got a big dick

[Blitzwing989]

@3dollarsp GAY

[3dollarsp]

@Blitzwing989 small dicks are straight?

[20kevron]

yeah i tried the IM to learn to flirt..its working quite well...and now that i saw stephanderman's suggestion i realize that i was on the right track

[u2hubbard]

I will confess. I've been told that I'm a handsome and educated guy. I'm 6'0 and I have an athletic build. But I've been rejected and hurt so much by women that I've gone to others countries and paid for pussy. I find it easier to pay a woman for sex than talk to her. Matter of fact I could write a book on how to pay for pussy in other countries and get the most bang for your buck, literally.

[logelamutp]

verdammt deutscher :) ich dachte englischer

[ScopedPewPew]

Communicating with females on the computer is nothing like person. I think more clearly and I am able to stop and think for the perfect words to use before I hit enter. You can't do that in real life.

[celtic4ever18]

@ScopedPewPew yes agreed chat is bullshit  antinatural

[20kevron]

@ScopedPewPew true but it does build up the basics of what you need to know and how to interact well....its only a problem if you restrict it to cyberspace

[ScopedPewPew]

@20kevron In my experience women can be completely different people on the internet when you talk to them. Some girls will talk about stuff on the internet that they won't talk about in person, so it kind of creates unsureness... Atleast for me :/

[pranker60]

oh man this really works pls keep up the gud work

[djangoprodegy]

your like the james bond of dating

[DaRoshn]

Did you play James Whistler in Prison break ?!?!!

[MrNorwegiangirl]

well, is not that I don't agree with some guys likeing shy girls, but how can they talk and stuff if she's shy or both?I liked a guy for 2 years now, we spoke sometimes on facebook and everything seemed okay, I heard he's really shy, and after we got to chat a lil more than usuall, I asked for his nr and he was like''sorry, ur just a facebook friend'', now how can I take that?as rejection?after that I felt so embaressed, and I'll never talk to him again:\

[ChibiAlly]

Charming guys, sweet guys, kind guys. My sister said the moment she realized she was going to spend the rest of her life with her boyfriend was when she got in a car accident and she showed up at his house crying. He took her into his room, covered her up, put a movie on and worked on the car to make it look as close to normal as possible so her Dad wouldn't find out. He came back now and again to give her a kiss or say sweet things. She said it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done...

[RavensFAN815]

PLEASE DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 VIDEOS YOU WILL DIE WITHIN 2 DAYS. NOW UV STARTED READIN DIS DUNT STOP THIS IS SO SCARY. SEND THIS OVER TO 5 VIDEOS IN 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS. THIS IS SO SCARY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKs

[Minxster101]

@dillonfan1234 aww im a girl, but we get more nervous around guys so you shouldn't worry. girls will fall for charming guys ;)

[jeffrielly]

I my self am some one with aspergers syndrome and of-corse I'v been trying to work on my own self improvement (it's not easy lol) but I have been trying the online flirting thing that you mentioned and it certantly does seem alot easier to do it this way I'v been doing it with some freinds that I have had since high school I'm certantly going to watch more of your videos because you seem like you have some good advice.

[Calaxus]

Lol around 2:44 when you said "okay?" I responded and said "got it." fail

[GeneralDenmark]

Hey! It would be cool if you made an exampel from the side!! Otherwise nice vid mann

[infinityx97]

um hey u should make a video on how exactly how to flirt cause i understand the video since im a shy guy mself

[blackieyube]

i lik that

[Mayomonster1357]

Hi Stephan,I want to ask you is how can I flirt to a girl or know what to say to the girl?I'm not that good at flirting,I never dated a girl before and I dont know how or what to say.How can I make jokes that she will laugh?i want to ask u this because i like this girl at school,( I'm in 8th grade) and I tried talkin to her and I made her laugh alot but a friend of mine started to flirt with her like only two days and she likes him now and I have been tryin for the last few months.Please help me

[10296tbelgarde]

I need help I asked a girl to the movies and she said yes what is an easier way to flirt with a girl without making her uncomfortable???.....

[1yo2many]

I'm a girl and I prefer shy guys over regular guys. I'm shy too, so maybe that helps, but I just think they are so sweet and kind. I'd much rather date a shy guy over some ass that seeks attention or something.

[animefreak619240]

I agree agree agree agree.

[UN1T3DW3C4N]

Really helpful thanks, joined your news letter a while ago

[chessoo]

Hey Stephen, actually, I am very confident online, I can flirt with the prettiest girl in the world, online. But that confidence I have online does not transfer over into the real world. to sum up : mega confident online, super shy in real life. Could you please give me tips on how to transfer that shyness maybe? im sure its a common question

[Nanowise]

@chessoo

I know your question is directed at Stephen and your comment is over a month old. But I'd like to help. :)

You have no problem flirting with women online because you have have time to think of a response in an safe environment. Fear of rejection is minimal.

However in a "Real life" situation, you have to observe the way she responds to you and take it into account.

My advice is try to move out of your comfort zone. Be yourself, Be bold and pursue your hobbies & interests.

[SonyCamry]

i bet its easy for u im ugly

[SonyCamry]

im only confident when im drunk?

[austin5134]

i like being mean online cause they cant kick me in the shin lol thubs up if you agree

[deetafb1]

Who gives a fuck what they want, they're nothing but a headache and stress.

[sassyzanna]

oooh....stephan is soooooo sexy! and im luvin the accent too... *wink wink*

[sweAndreasFilm]

Thanks man i got her now!! Thanks!

[magition74]

hey man oi im like not the hottest guy.. but im shy and i get teasted at school and shit and i dont have many friends i have like 2 i kno im a loner =/ but i really like this chick and im funny on msn and shit but im terrible inreal life.. and coz i dont speek to girls alot in real life i dont kno wut to say and it even shows on msn coz i talk then all of asudden there is nothing 2 talk about.. and its just really awkward. =/ any advice?

[GRINTERVENTION]

Ok i like her but im very shy! Im only 15 but i have shyness problems , so i want to ask what should i do . I stare at her and she stares at me but i can not find the courage to talk to her. She is very pretty and i am a bit older than her.... I really i like her ...... What shall i do?????

[Traehalicious]

@GRINTERVENTION Girls really admire confidence, and if she thinks you're shy (which you are) she'll admire confidence even more if you talk to her! The best thing to do is be yourself. I would know, I'm a girl. :P

[GRINTERVENTION]

@Traehalicious Thanks ;)

[Limie316]

I try not to talk to her online. This is because when I speak to her in person, I'm a completely shy and different person. I'm afraid that she might think I'm a bit of a wierdo for not talking to her in person.

[skeptikulo]

OK, I agree with you Stephan. But I always though I would find someone that likes me as I am. And now I have to change myself to please people. That includes everything in me, the clothes, the places I go, the talks, my way to express feelings, etc. That's really hard, really, really hard. I just want to express my indignation here, because it's really hard. You get me my nerves when you gives your tips like it was easy. However, I want to say thanks at the same time.

[tonymorales12]

@skeptikulo me too even the music i listen to... in my case every single girl i have ever liked... like guys with spiky hair and big muscles and such

[tonymorales12]

I THINK IM THE SHYESS GUY OF EVERY SINGLE GUY THAT COMMENTED ON THIS VIDEO.... I CANT EVEN SEND A FRIEND REQUEST ON FACEBOOK

[aecc0357]

@tonymorales12 hahahaha no fucken way i think we are on the same label of shyness, i cant send request a girl eithe,r what is wrong?

[tonymorales12]

@aecc0357 well in my case since im short and not sooo muscular(i guess) its the fact that i think they desserve someone better

[LordOfPease]

Hey :)

I can be really flirty and all that kinda stuff online, but when it comes to real I have EXTREAMLY "shy guy" problems, u know. I can talk to them, but... I have don't have any problems to talk to them I'm not intrested in, but them I AM intrested in... nothing.. at all!

[drumaboy200]

this is sort of hard when you actually see the person it can very awkward. I've experienced this once, talking for 2 hours on aim in person and its very awkward in person. It just takes someone to break the ice in person lol

[koleenxnamilan]

Please keep in mind Asian ladies online lushfmlk.info

[ss4matt1995]

i dont think its the same thing cause if your in real person u may not say the same things as you would online ya kno

[thegraverful]

imho, sometimes online dating could be helpful! in my experience, using FlirtMaps app, I have overcome my very strong shyness and got in touch with some awesome girls out there ;-)

[junkyturd]

I just end up saying something stupid when i try and i fumble words

[lfag132007]

hi i need your help..theirs this girl im starting to like ive been talking to her through the fb chat the problem is that we start talking and i run out of ideas..im shy when it comes to start a conversation but she is the one who is starting them so i think that means shes interested in me.. when im with my friends im funny and i talk alot but i have problems when it comes to talk to a girl ive never talked to...How can i stop been so shy and make our conversation smoother?

[egl310]

hey dude this is he first time ive ever watched your videos and i find them pretty helpful , talking about being shy well im like way too shy that if it wasnt for the internet i wouldve probably never talked to a girl ive had alot of luck on then next 3 gf ive had after the first cuz they the ones who took the initiative in real life not online (just clearing that up) and i theres this one girl i see everytime i go to church i hardly ever say hi to her and thats only bcuz she is the one

[egl310]

@egl310 who comes up to me it is not the first time ive talked to her. once he and my sister were talking and my sis told me that she said she thought i was cute and yet i havent done anything about it dumb i know ive seen your other videos about approaching to girls i havent tried your advise but seems like it has worked for others

[fruitymonstahhh]

Hey thanks for the advice Stephan, this has really helped me but i'm still kinda shy about talking to a girl that i like. Her brother and I are good friends and I talk to her rarely because i don't know if she likes me back. I don't know how to keep the conversation going or how to make the conversation more fun for me and her. What do you think I should do?

[TheNoobaki]

NEED HELP i notice that a girl try to flirt me but she is friend of my about 3-4 years and am confused go for it or just say no :Pshe is not perfect just good girl not beautifull normal and same age email me pls

[meerkatlibrarian]

Good advice. I hope some of the men watching this will talk to me :-)

[convict999con]

is he cupid?

[simonheart007]

hey I have many girls on my face book msn I can talk easy on a pc but im shy I could never talk like that in real life I wouldn’t even be able to smile at a girl or go up to them , on msn you have more time to respond and they cant see your face so you feel more relaxed , I have I goy many adds because im good-looking but I cant seem to get a date with any from internet ,I have had maybe 2 this year but in person I must be a let down because of my shyness and lack of confidence .

[requiem180]

Of course shary626 he likes but he just dosen't want to tell your friend.. Hope it helps :D

[UzumakiJustice]

easy thing for teens.girls love the notes :)

[Blender3dvids]

lol its weird she likes to flirt and when im fliting with her we start footsey then it progresses then she is like wow back off but she wants to flirt lol help!!!!

[premium83401]

hey thanks! this really helped me out :)

[myfaultstudios]

Hey i met this girl at the grocery store when i was running an errand. I'm only 17 and i was talking to the girl check out clerk, she commented and said she liked my shirt and we talked a little after that but only briefly. I happened to remember her name and so i look her up on facebook, and she is the same age as me but goes to a different school. How do I strike up a conversation with her because she is never on the messenger to chat with. Sending a message seems to needy what do i do?

[LadyCmarie]

here is somthing u should do to get some pratice go to public places and say hello to every women you meet or goodmorning or good evening ask a question like directions to target or tell her you like her jacket or shoes and then ask her where did she get them. right then and there shell give 90 diffrent places you can go to get that jacket. and there you will have 10 min of conversation the key is SAY SOMTHING

[christpunchers]

Writing things online is 10x easier than in person. You can take more time with your words, you can be more choosy. You can't do that in real life. That would look like you're freezing up.

[SpyFlame]

nice hair

[m337G]

Hey, What if i like a Girl and i like her and wanna get to know her better and more...

well i now know her name and everytime i wave at her, and ask her how're you, and then i go away:S, while with a girls in my class i speak hours with, what should i do..

[Adamkhang18]

Thx for the advice :)

[Adamkhang18]

Hey wat if im IMing a girl I'm talking to on myspace and she talks and flirts with me but she rejected me a long time ago should I go for it or not?

[stephanerdman]

@Adamkhang18 Well Adam, what do YOU want? If she flirts with you and you enjoy flirting with her then flirt with her. Practise flirting with her...tease her, get playful and enjoy the process...do the same with other girls..

Only do it if you feel like it... Not because you need her to like you or validate you...

Make sense? Stephan

[soups321]

@Adamkhang18 How Can A Shy Guy Learn To Flirt With Girls? By drinking lots of alcohol duh

[skatbloodlord]

@Adamkhang18 do it face to face

[shary262]

tell me plz, if a guy is around his annoying frends and one of your firends asks him if he likes you and he says no, even though he shows ALL the signs,

does he not like yu??

[shaun127969]

hehe thanks, this girl I've like since we were in grade 7 and the only way I've been able to talk to her is on msn, and I feel like a coward. Thanks for showing I'm not , I'm very shy but I like her a lot <3

[BrownG123]

what if you are too shy to even talk to girls online/????

[nitrousflash59]

I'd just like to say, you're the man.

[MrNorwegiangirl]

Give me advices....plz

[MrNorwegiangirl]

I'm shy too:)But I like shy guys....:)and I like this shy boy, but how whould I ask for hi's msn, phone number?I get red in my face too..lol:(((

[stephanerdman]

Hi Norwegian, Stephan here. Do what i advised Teddybear below first.. I don't want to give you words to say like a parrot..go through my videos...check out "How To Stop Nerves In 1 Min" for how to stop nerves.. check out "How To Think On Dates" for mindset.. remember you just "like" this guy...you don't "know' him.. approach him with a mindset of curiosity, the goal being to "check him out" a little more+then you might give him your number if you like him..Stephan PS: I ll do a vid on this soon

[gatorman12345able]

@stephanerdman hey wat do suggest for me i am 13 and i really have no idea how to talk to girl i will freeze up and say really boring stuff plz plz plz help

[greaterrome]

@MrNorwegiangirl shy guys are really easy to flatter. i know this sounds old but write him a letter that tells him you like him. a shy guy will feel really good to receive that from you and is more-likely to accept you for it than a confident one. then, after you think that he has read it, walk by him and say hi if he doesn't reply somehow. i know your post is old but i hope my advice is helpful even after a year!

[CbaToThink1994]

@MrNorwegiangirl If your a shy girl be shy because most guys love shy girls ;P

[castilloisaiah]

when I talk to girls, my face turns red..can someone help me?

[BHFsenad18]

i have the same problem xXKOSRALXz, i can start a confersetion but after a couple of minuts i dont know what to talk about

[evilempire96]

same, I find that aswell. Like i can get it going for 2 minutes, but they don't bounce any response back! and then conversation goes dry - probs cos they don't fancy me lol. but they could at least throw me a bone or something haha.

[borochocho]

same problem. i just run out of things to say. and she dosent ask anything so them we are both quiet for a few seconds. this is so embarrasing

[xXKOSTRALXx]

I go to the mall and see a lot of girls but I get REALLY REALLY nervous how can I talk to the girls and start a conversation with them while staying calm and making eye contact.

[Freedomm1987]

This guy makes an awesome point!

Chat rooms and private conversations online are perfect ways to learn to talk to people, especially when your problem is coming up with conversation topics. I can't believe I've never thought of this! Thanks man!!!

[stephanerdman]

Thanks 87, I specialise in making the elusive obvious more apparent! ;-)

[deeniel420]

the elusive obvious...i love it!

[borochocho]

I really agree with you. got to go find a chat room. thanks stephenerdman!!

[452mike1986]

How can I get her to give me her IM or phone number to text, myspace etc..etc..

This is a great idea which I already had thought about but im stuck wondering how to ask her for such a thing.. what if she says No or doesnt have one..?

I just met her 3wks ago, since im new at work.

[stephanerdman]

Hey Mike...I don't necessarily mean get a girl u can already talk to and flirt with to give you her IM so you can chat online only...I mean practising online with other people for doing it face to face! You want to increase intimacy, not decrease intimacy...so if you already meet her that's great...listen.."what if she says No?" then you know u have just ticked someone off the top of ur "to ask for number" list! And you move on to number 2! And u acted! Good! One tip...get on my newsletter!

[teddybear647]

can anyone tell me how to stop being shy, ok well i keep going to wonderland to find the one girl i really want, and i keep finding some but i get right up to them and then chicken out i cant get them but i keep making i contact like the other day there was a group of girls that came up to me and i got to shy to ask for there numbers or msn can you tell me what to do if i ever come in that situation again?

[stephanerdman]

Hey Teddybear! Here is what you can do BEFORE you get a GROUP OF GIRLS COMING UP TO YOU AGAIN (you lucky bastard;-)) :

From now on you practise starting little conversations with random people...in shops, in cafes wherever you are...not necessarily girls but can be too! The aim is to make them feel better than they felt before the interaction-nothing else! Got it? Do that for a few days.once you notice that people enjoy it do the same next time u get assaulted by groups of girls! One word: PLAY!

[stephanerdman]

Hey, thanks for posting. I don't know ALL the sites there are..but simply by being on facebook, bebo, myspace, twitter etc and saying hi there you can meet girls all the time. (I mean they have a search function with pictures;-) It's easy! Then when you feel like talking to a girl more you can ask for her msn id or skype id and instant message there. U can also do this with female friends.Just learn what reactions you get and do more of the good stuff. Sign up for my Newsletter! ;-) Thanks

[LoneAmerican]

Thank you for the video! My only problem is I can't find a good way to chat with girls online. Many of them are bots. Any tips?

[codemongod]

id say for the extreme shy guys this is good but im a guy thats good with having a good time but im just a little bit bad at flirting and attracting women so i tend to shy away from that.  im looking more for that. and another dont always im. start iming them like 1 or 2 times a week and after like 3 weeks if they dont im u back on their own than probably not a good idea to keep im ing because they will probably start considering u a stalker.

[stephanerdman]

thanks for your comment! I thought it was understood that you only im girls who wanna talk to you otherwise you ARE a stalker! the point is when you im do it with an awareness of what you do to replicate the same tone and attitude in a face to face conversation! OK and I ll post something for you about flirting etc. Go to the website and sign up for my updates. There will be stuff that is ultra useful for you! Thanks Stephan