I can see and hear how tired you are and going ip can definitely give you a much needed break from having to fight this all on your own. You deserve the support and help. You diserve to work through all of the crap you went through and have a meaningful job working with dogs & people.
You're used to feeling bad all the time; possibly feeling better is scary. But how much worse can change feel than the way you feel right now?
I know that you are right and at the same time, change and lack of knowing what the future is like... and not knowing what "feeling better/healthy/happy" is going to be like.... a load of anxiety sits on my chest. I HATE the unknown. I HATE change! What am I without this ED? I'm so scared to even find out...
I can so relate to not knowing who I am if i start to let go of my ED. I hate uncertainty too. I fear I will hate it/who I am underneath etc... I fear that if i get back to a normal wt ppl will think I am fine. I have done that before but it takes a long time to get used to a recovered body.
Sorry I haven't posted in so long. I've been away from my computer for a while & am just catching up on your videos.
I'm so glad you had the assessment. Of course you feel ambivalent. The closer to change the greater the fear. n a way, a shorter wait is better -less opportunity to back out.
I love seeing you with your dog. He has such a sweet face.
Part 2 of comment:
I can see and hear how tired you are and going ip can definitely give you a much needed break from having to fight this all on your own. You deserve the support and help. You diserve to work through all of the crap you went through and have a meaningful job working with dogs & people.
You're used to feeling bad all the time; possibly feeling better is scary. But how much worse can change feel than the way you feel right now?
blucoat 2 years ago
I know that you are right and at the same time, change and lack of knowing what the future is like... and not knowing what "feeling better/healthy/happy" is going to be like.... a load of anxiety sits on my chest. I HATE the unknown. I HATE change! What am I without this ED? I'm so scared to even find out...
weaveamyweave08 2 years ago
I can so relate to not knowing who I am if i start to let go of my ED. I hate uncertainty too. I fear I will hate it/who I am underneath etc... I fear that if i get back to a normal wt ppl will think I am fine. I have done that before but it takes a long time to get used to a recovered body.
anawings 2 years ago
Sorry I haven't posted in so long. I've been away from my computer for a while & am just catching up on your videos.
I'm so glad you had the assessment. Of course you feel ambivalent. The closer to change the greater the fear. n a way, a shorter wait is better -less opportunity to back out.
I love seeing you with your dog. He has such a sweet face.
blucoat 2 years ago