Get A Job

[theapollomoonlanding]

Sarah Silverman is a Jew and Only lays her eggs every ten years.

[TheZarbodShow]

@theapollomoonlanding Are you some kind of anti-semite? How quaint?

[frio109]

Zarbod the Select, It is amazing really how many letters we are receiving at ZarStar Industries requesting you be voted as Santa this year. True, you actually won't replace the real Santa, why that would be to much work. Delivering all those toys and stuff. Plus imagine trying to eat that many cookies. How ever, you could still do some P.R. work and fly around in a Santa suit. Frio, First Science Officer.

[Teyethegreat]

cool alien........

[anz00n]

Great shows

I am really glad I clicked your video response :]

[Zarbod]

Thank you!

[jabahut1]

Jimmy Kimall sucks

[MightyTrebor]

Sarah's single? I just got a boner!

[Zarbod]

Thanks for the erection update! I'll make a note of it.

[prilstrudel]

your penis might just not satisfy the insatiable Sarah!

[Zarbod]

Not from here it won't.

[prilstrudel]

it *is* possible...once a creep sent me pictures of his penis via email. And I am a man! Not gay. very strange. even creepier was the fact he was Bademeister in my hometown! (swimming instructor) we didn't know each other personally, only via Youtube. but I never visited that particular swim club again LOL

[Zarbod]

nice. You should forward it to his boss.

[prilstrudel]

I could...but I'm not that mean^^

[prilstrudel]

(...or maybe his boss knows ALREADY and that's why he got his job in the first place...swim clubs always remind one of the YMCA, don't they?)

[MightyTrebor]

I would feel honored to "go down trying" LOL!

You never know until you try!

[DearURG]

I know I'm devastated.

[johnjacks0n]

Hey Zarbod also do you have any tips on how to suduce female human life forms

[frio109]

JohnJ. We use Alien technology to put them to sleep. In Zarbod's case he hangs outside their homes in trees. I like the sleep method better. Frio, First Science Officer.

[thefonz003]

Haven't you heard? She's f***ing Matt Damon!

[Zarbod]

Holy crap! Why wasn't I notified?

[thefonz003]

Maybe because of your remote location. Also, her on-again, off-again boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel is f***ing Ben Affleck. Or maybe it was just a gimmick for his talk show...

[Zarbod]

A gimmick? He would never do that to us.

[jabberwolf]

People would want to bang her yes, listen to her no!!

[frio109]

Jabberwolf,

She is hot. She is also not very inteligent.

Any Earth Human who would actually listen to her would be highly suspected as a moron.

Frio, First Science Officer.

[jabberwolf]

I think a science experiment of sucking a golf ball through a garden hose might be needed.

I'm pretty sure she is a specimen that could accomplish such a task!

[frio109]

Jabberwolf,

I have analysis the data by micro measuring her mouth and lung capicty taken from hollywood film and have come to the scientific conclusion that Sarah Silverman could suck a golf ball through a garden hose and take on two probes at the same time in her other openings. A fact back up by photos published by a XXX porn magazine. Frio, First Science Officer.

[frio109]

Jabberwolf,

Yes. Humans and Aliens have and do bang her. The problem is getting her to shut up. She is such a communist tramp. Frio, First Science Officer.

[dalihendrix]

but yeah being real who would not want a date with her!

[dalihendrix]

hey man you need a date!

lol

[famousmunsterz]

I was sure she was a lesbian...

[frio109]

FamousM,

Is Sarah the socialist Silverman a lesbian? I think she just likes to suck and suck and suck.

Some kinda of human thing. Frio, First Science Officer.

[WKaliber1]

she looks so fucking fuckable at 1:18

[SixthTreeAtNoon]

FINALLY someone else thinks sarah silverman is HOT, i thought i was the only one who thought she was hot.

[Zarbod]

No kidding! She's Sarah is smokin' hot!

[SixthTreeAtNoon]

well maybe we can talk about how hot Sarah Silverman is sometime.

[Zarbod]

There's not enough time in the world :)

[SixthTreeAtNoon]

I know :'[

[frio109]

6tree,

The problem with Sarah Silverman is that she is such a stupid socialist. She thinks Obama is God. Why every one know that God is a Alien. Frio, First Science Officer.

[appletons13]

oh, amazing! where did you get your name zarbod?

[Zarbod]

Thanks. I just made it up. A friend pointed out that it sounds a lot like Zaephod from Hitchhikers Guide though that wasn't an intentional reference.

[marleyinoc]

wtf bro, saw this. then. you added it to the most recent gnooze?

actually, thanks, wtf to my subscriber status. i did this once, i thought.

resubscribed.

[Zarbod]

Thanks. Yeah, YT deleted a bunch of my subscribers a month ago for no apparent reason. Hasn't happened again though. Odd. Glad to have you back.

[gnooze]

Wait, I thought you already got your Alaskan dream job? Is this different?

[Zarbod]

Yep. Just started last week! Life is good.

[gnooze]

oh, whoops! Didn't realize this was from July! Well congrats, glad it's going well!

[marleyinoc]

lol. Zarbod is usually ahead of the curve. It's a time travel thing.

[Zarbod]

I try to keep ahead of the curve :)

[appletons13]

I cant see your teeth tho haha

[Zarbod]

And my teeth can see you.

[frio109]

Zarbod theSelect. UPDATE. Zarbod the Select has invaded and taken over Alaska. We can now start to look forward to Salmon and Polar Bear mating habits vlogs.....Three cheers for our Supreme Leader, Zarbod the Select. Frio, First Science Officer.

[Zarbod]

Thanks Frio. I'm planning my take over of Alaska and everything is proceding as planned. However, I can't find their hot governor. Where did she run off to?

[frio109]

Zarbod the Select. Sarah is every where. I think she is using Body doubles. She was in Iowa, New Jersey and Michigan. Frio, First Science Officer.

[Liquidreams]

Very funny!!!

[Zarbod]

Hey thanks.

[frio109]

Zarbod the Select. We are running the test you requested. To de bug all of Alaska....We have determined it would be easier to just Modulate Alaska off of the face of Earth then to exterminate every insect in Alaska.....Frio, First Science Officer.

[Zarbod]

Well we made that volcano go off last month but no one got killed. They have 41 active volcanoes there and get 11% of the earth's earthquakes. Pretty cool huh!

[frio109]

Zarbod the Select. Project Debug Alaska is going slowly. Everyone is drooling over this hot babe you have on this video......bugs, bugs, hot sex women, bugs, bugs, bugs. Frio, First Science Officer.

[Zarbod]

I'm a big fan of hot chicks and bugs. Not sure which I prefer.

[frio109]

Zarbod the Select. It would depend on what is for supper??? Frio, First Science Officer.

[glitzandglam13]

omg! i hate her!

[Zarbod]

Yeah she's not really for everyone :)

[AcrossTheRiverStix]

I like the song at the beginning...good old Offspring. :)

[theDave1956]

I guess I'm going to have to make a facebook account one of these days.

BTW, I hope the new job (good luck on the interview) won't interfere with your main task in life - making videos for us to enjoy...

[Zarbod]

Yeah, FaceBook has been a lot of fun. You might like it. I'll be your friend :)

I should have job news next week!

[Bobofet241]

I don't wanna 'do' Facebook! (save the Whales)

[Zarbod]

You could Partake of FaceBook or sample it.

[biblegirl7]

Zarbod is a screen shot sellout! =P And I don't really think the Z has much of a self esteem problem. Unless you consider too much self esteem to be a problem o.O

[Zarbod]

Well a sellout changes his values based on others, but these have always been my values so I'm just being me. Plus I don't really think that shot is nonrepresentational, but I've been called worst. It will result in about 4X more hits. Ironic.

[biblegirl7]

Umm, you do know I was just yanking your chain?

[PlanetZoltar7]

"Chain"? Well, Ive never heard it called that. But whatever kinky code you two have worked out is cool with us.

[Zarbod]

(PlanteZ) Oh, play nice, you! She's human and may get confused.

[biblegirl7]

HAHAHAAA! Nah. Just working out the "kinks" in the chain =P

[Zarbod]

Yeah, yeah. Of course I would sell out tomorrow if anyone were buying.

[Deadstickperson303]

Hey dude i love that songi wish i had it

[Zarbod]

Me too. Someone gave me that CD when I was working in Brazil. Good times.

[Blinkazoid]

So nice of you to offer to console all the lovelorn ladies out there. For an alien you're a real humanitarian:)

[Zarbod]

I do what I can :)

[SmileSimone]

Oh Zarbod!

[Zarbod]

Yes dear.

[metallicalyrics]

ooooh zarbod, a job in alaska is a huge opportunity

~Baconfreak994

[Zarbod]

I think so. Thanks. I'm quite excited.

[TheeMovieMan]

lol

[kongawonga]

Careful Zarbod, unless you have your GREEN CARD you could get into serious trouble, possibly deported to Mexico and forced to perform lewd acts with a donkey. However, it beats freezing, and they do have some rather cute donkeys down there. Ask for Candy, she'll treat you right my friend;)

[Zarbod]

Candy? I'll make a note of it. After one night with Candy, she'll be asking for me!

[PlanetZoltar7]

She will be pointing you out through a one way mirror saying "That's him officer, number 5"

[Zarbod]

Again?

[forcedRcon]

Jews breaking up. Who cares.

[Zarbod]

Oh be nice. Or at least not anti-semitic.

[Bobofet241]

Kudos on the interview...that's gonna cost you.(air fare & Hotel)

[Zarbod]

Oh, they're paying for it. Asked me to come up a day early so my driver can show me around town. They're being super nice now but for some reason I think the job will involve shoveling manure in a remote tundra. Oh well. Could be worse.

[GuruMN]

Good luck in Alaska. Sarah Silverman is super funny, funnier on tv than in film IMO.

[Zarbod]

True, though I thought there were some good moments in Jesus Is Magic.

[GuruMN]

Of course! I really do like the Sarah Silverman show, I think I got a little spoiled by seeing her on TV so much that I forgot about her other appearances. I was also thinking about the Independent [film] Spirit Awards as well.

[hopefulsemblance]

Protip: Never admit to your interviewer that you waste your lunch breaks downloading porn onto your company laptop.

That's where I always go wrong.

:(

[Zarbod]

I didn't download the porn though. I was actually producing and editing right there in my cubicle. Look--it's my freakin lunch break and I'll do what--and who--I want.

[GregGallows]

"no matter what you say you'll be wrong"

Too true my friend.

[Bobofet241]

No it isn't!....lol

[Zarbod]

Wait was I wrong when I said I was wrong or when I said you'd say I was wrong?

[Zarbod]

I once asked my girlfriend if that was true and she said it was...and I still I wrong. I have no idea what she was talking about.

[alskater01]

Sorry Zarbod but Sarah is fucking Matt Damon on the bed, on the floor, on a towel by the door, in a tub, in the car, up against the mini-bar.

[GregGallows]

ohsnaps!!

[Zarbod]

snaps indeed.

[Zarbod]

What? You mean last week when I was playing Scrabble with her online, she was @#$%ing Matt Damon? And when I went back and forth to do a vlog and Regis and Kelly's show, she was DEFINITELY @#$%ing Matt Damon? And earlier when she said she told me she was @#$%ing Matt Damon? She WAS @#$%ing Matt Damon?

Well, I never saw that coming.

[allansfriend]

Zarbod, I'M your Gal...NOT Sara S. When will you realize that? But I think you'll just have to find that one out on your own.

Good luck in your future prospects.

Love, Tammi

[Zarbod]

Tammi, maybe you're right. Sarah was way too skanky for me. I like my skankiness in moderation.

[allansfriend]

LOL!

[bwings]

I'll be watching your status to see what happens :D

[Zarbod]

Things are good! They asked me to come up a day early for a personal guide to take me around and show me whatever I want. Should I start at the night clubs or end there? Just kidding. I'll start and end there!

[Snowflake70]

Yeah, I think she's hot too...but like Joanne on Rocketboom - thier fine for laughs for a while and while your basking in the intellectual stimulation they are sucking out your brains. I remain facinated by bright shinny objects *70

[Zarbod]

I like Joanne too! and shiny objects.

[kenc54]

Well, if you wanna know what Sarah thinks of you, Alaska for you.

[Zarbod]

Hey, that's cool but I still think you're half baked.

[TimberGeek]

Sarah Silverman's cute but there's something in her eyes that says danger to me...

[Zarbod]

It's not the eyes that bother me. It's the icepick she's holding behind her back.

[zqueenbean]

I think Sarah shares your fondness for cheese, Zarbod. Perhaps even more than you.

[qiranger]

That's awesome!

[Zarbod]

Thanks Q. Nice to hear from you again.

[supercommie]

Sarah Silverman is a babe!

[Zarbod]

Hay now. Why the long face?

[Zarbod]

I know.

[Blargaldalien]

Hello,Zarbod. Good luck with the meeting in Alaska. I hope they pay for the flight. I do not think flying there,in a saucer would inspire confidence .Though,it would trigger UFO reports. While you are there,take a side trip to that erupting volcano,and cheer it on.

Too bad about jimmy and Sara. They had nearly identical eyebrows.

[Zarbod]

Oh they're paying. No worries. Maybe one day their clone brows will reunite.

[JohnMcQuilkin]

Great video Zarbod! Stay away from Jimmy Kimmel, Sarah Silverman, Matt Damon & Ben Affleck... I've been with all four of them and they're nothing but trouble!

John McQuilkin - Hollywood Happens

The Unofficial Spokesperson of Hollywood

[Zarbod]

Thanks John. Good to know. I'll get back to celebrities who are more "user friendly" to me.

[zqueenbean]

At best, like going to the dentist and nothing happens... At the worst, going to the dentist and getting drilled, and the novocain injection didn't get you numb?

[Zarbod]

My last dentist jabbed the inside of my cheek and went right through. Then sprayed Novocain all over my shirt and then drilled my teeth while I screamed. Overall, I'd say it was better than my last date.

[Bobofet241]

I had a Dentist once that used that sander thing?Suddenly he goes,"opps sorry". I said,"Thorry what"? "I kind of buffed a part of you lip off". He did too. Oh Thit!

[Rowdyeh]

They could always use you as a pipe cleaner! Lol!

[Zarbod]

They call those things "Pigs." Are you calling me a pig?

[Rowdyeh]

Pigs eh? Who would have guessed? You're not fat enough to be a pig, maybe just a piglet! Lmao!

[lapislazuline]

i never heard of that couple what are

they infamous for?

are u gonna anchor down in Anchorage?

[Zarbod]

Oh they have a funny video which had 9M hits. Check the link about 20 seconds into the video.