JET Program Vlog #16b - married JETs - gay JETs

[sethwright]

What about discrimination against gays? Am I risking my employment status if I out myself to co workers at the school?

[myargonauts]

@sethwright Once you're a JET and in Japan, I very much doubt they could/would not allow you to recontract simply because you're gay.  But there are much more knowledgable people than me on this topic at the official JET Programme . org forums and there is even a Gay JET support group that someone can point you at where past and present gay JETs can give advice.

[KnightsofEmerald]

I've applied with a partner, not married, they didn't ask me anything about it in the interview. Will it go against me?

[myargonauts]

@KnightsofEmerald I really don't know. Best of luck tho.

[KnightsofEmerald]

@myargonauts hey, guess what, it didn't ^^ We are going to Ehime together now :)

[AmandaKayBrown]

you say 'etc, etc' too much! hehe informative blog though

[myargonauts]

@AmandaKayBrown yeah - and I say "um" way too much. Hard habits to break.

[kakaze]

if I go I'm really gonna have to resist the temptation to joke 'no girlfriend but I have a boyfriend'. :D

[elliblue]

What if you're both? I would love to teach English in Japan but I know there is no same-sex marriages there; but I read somewhere that Japan will recognize the marriage if one partner is from Japan and the marriage is performed in a country where it's legal. I'm not sure how true that is, and I couldn't find anything about Japan recognizing same-sex marriages amongst foreigners. Do you know of anyone who's been through this?

[myargonauts]

@elliblue good question - I don't know the right answer tho. Try posting on the official JET forums at jetprogramme(dot)org or asking about a link to the gay/lesbian support group for JETs - I'm sure they'll know

[OneHandOrigami]

HG is awesome

[Blackwidina]

Do you know about JET's policy on single mothers? By the time I will enroll in JET, my daughter will be 7. I'm terrified that I might not be allowed to bring her, or that I'll have to leave her in the states for X amount of time before she can come. Or that I won't be accepted at all; I don't know what the Japanese culture would make of my situation.

[myargonauts]

You might be expected to leave her in the States for the first week, when you'll be at Tokyo orientation and then moving in to your new apartment and getting set up. But I'm not sure.

You should post at the official JET Forum at jetprogramme(dot)org and see if they have advice from other single mother JETs

[melnoad]

My boyfriend and I are both highly qualified to work for JET and are applying this year. We are not engaged, but we are common-law and do plan on marriage in the future (takes too much time to plan and money right now). Do you know what their view is of putting boyfriends and girlfriends together who both get in? We lived in Japan together before in a small apartment and had a very positive experience. I'm wondering what you've encountered with this issue.

Thanks!

[myargonauts]

If you both apply and both get in, then you'll most likely be placed in the same town, but on occasion you can be a town apart. If only one makes it, then you'll have to live togehter in the apt given to the one that makes it.

[sandonmiguel1]

I am a male gay JET about to be placed in Fukuoka. The prospect, while thrilling, is also makes me somewhat nervous because I am not familiar with Japanese citizens' general disposition towards homosexuals. What do you think?

[myargonauts]

Fukuoka is a great city, and might even have a gay bar or two.

I would check out some other channels here on YT like KansaiPJ and Noholzba for a more authoritative response.

[FitchKid92]

Another Gay Japan vlogger is YouTuber "broans".

[stert]

yea, he's as gay as english law allows

[myargonauts]

So your daughter is under 6 years old? Hmmm... interesting question - I've never been asked before. Presumably your Mother could fly to Japan with your daughter after you've been here a month and gotten settled, and then just stay with you. The main thing would be apartment size - if she just came and stayed, you might not have a very big place - if you told them beforehand that she was coming, they might say no, or they might say yes and give you a bigger apt. Ask at the main JET forums.

[jessicalynn3863]

i've read from some tht married couples (both JETs) were placed together and others have said they were placed really far apart... what have you seen?

oh, and btw, your Vlog is very helpful! thank you!! o^__^o

[myargonauts]

Thanks for watching!

I've only known a few couples during my time here, but all of them that were married or engaged before they came as JETs ended up living fairly close together.

They even allow some JETs to transfer to different locations if you get married while on JET.

[keii85]

What about "coming out" during the interview process?

[myargonauts]

well of course you should be who you are, but does your sexuality affect your ability to do the job? I doubt it, so I wouldn't mention it unless it was really relevant to the topic of discussion.

[6663000]

informative

[J9xluvsxy00]

hard gay LOL

[djdicrispino]

Thanks for posting this particular vlog. I hadn't planned on coming out to my coworkers unless I was positive they would be comfortable with it. I think your take on it being "about that one thing" is great advice. Your videos are great in general; if I get in to JET or take up TEFL's offer to place me in Japan, I'm sure these vlogs will come in handy.

[myargonauts]

cool - glad the vids are helpful :)

[Amaniachwen]

I just stumbled upon this vlog entry and found the way you approach questions very effective, so I'm going check out some of your other vids. I have applied to JET for the 2009-10 year, so any information is going to be helpful. Thanks for doing this. : )

[myargonauts]

you're welcome and good luck with your app.

[Rictof]

Lol, yeah I know who Hard Gay is.  I'm surprised with how much he gets away with.

[winDragon79]

Hard gay is funny.

[CesarLopLeo]

What if you get married in Japan with a national? How would the picture change? Is there any benefits of some sort? THANKS love your vids Jason.

[myargonauts]

I've had friends here marry a Japanese person and remain on JET. What changed? Nothing much. Perhaps their housing options and taxes. If you have a specific question, I can ask one of them for you.

[SnuggeryBuggery]

I'm still under the impression that the jet program is a haven for the emotionally disfigured and hopelessly goony.

[42317]

Good you're from California. Others would probably have forgotten the gay topic. (Except for maybe New Yorkers.)

I went to Hirosaki with my girlfriend (same faculty), prepared to say we were engaged, but no official person ever asked.

[MessagesFromEarth]

Your video logs are really informative. I have a friend who was a JET in Izumo. I'll be a JET in Kagoshima City starting at the end of July and my wife will be coming out a couple weeks later. This video was very reassuring. Thanks!

[myargonauts]

Was your friend a JET in Izumo during the past 4 years? If so, tell them Jason say Hello. :)

Good luck with your first year!

[cupwithhandles]

Wow - great vids. You do great service -

[kansaiPJ]

I thought that was very good advice. As far as spouses coming on the JET program, I think it works best to request an urban posting, where there are things to do and where people have more modern ideas about spousal roles, etc.

As far as gay JETS, I would not recommend coming out until one knows the specific situation well. I came out only after a few years here, but have had no problems since.

[myargonauts]

Thanks for the comment PJ. :)

[nyannyan123456]

Jason you mention how japanese tend to view women as the home maker and all that. How true I went for a shower and my wife's mother made the comment oh I guess in america the women there dont have to bring clothes to the men. The culture is definetley different in nihon.

[jessman1999]

Not sure where I should have posted this and you may not know the answer, but for the most part you are pretty much in the know. One of my requirements for my degree is that I have to study abroad in Japan. Either at Kansai in Osaka, or Tokyo University. What are the odds that the JET Program would let me return to either place to teach in that city? This is something to discuss w/ JET, but I was looking for your input for this situation. An clue?

[myargonauts]

Well, both places are rare for JET placements, which tend to be more rural. A smattering of JETs get placed near Tokyo and in Osaka each year, but your chances are pretty slim. But getting placed within a one to two hour train ride are not as bad, and if you explained your reasons at your JET interview, you'd have a decent chance if a spot was available.

[jessman1999]

Thank you for the input.

[Sacchari]

I think you have to have a college degree to participate in JET. So unless you are talking about your graduate degree...

[jessman1999]

Yeah you have to have a 4yr degree to become a JET. Yeah I was talking about my graduate degree. I have to do a year in Japan before I can graduate with my degree. I was asking Jason the odds of being able to teach in either Tokyo or Osaka when I return to Japan after I finish my degree.

[Sacchari]

Ohhh, where are you studying if you don't mind me asking?

[jessman1999]

Either in Kansai in Osaka or at Tokyo University. I don't know if I get my choice. But sadly that isn't for another 2 years. I want to go in my senior year.

[furasoke]

Good Job Mr. Jason :D really interesting

[rodgerswan]

very interesting video, i agree the views on homosexuality in japan seem very disjointed, in what is shown on tv and what is said in real life here.

[myriah96]

No comment. 100% chocka' bock full of Jason-san informationy goodness.

P.S.

Well, one question. What about inter-JET communtication. You're always talking about other JETs. Shimane sounds like the middle of nowhere(metaphorically) so it sounds like there would only be 6 or so (being generious)where you are. Are you given a list of close by JETs or something?

[myargonauts]

Oh yeah - you'll get contact info for every JET in your prefecture. Here in Shimane we put together a list with phone numbers and email addresses, etc and it gets sent to everyone. Shimane is very spread out geographically, even tho it's very sparsely populated. Even still, we have over 100 JETs (ALTs and CIRs) here in Shimane, so plenty of new friends await when you arrive. :)

[ominae55]

There is a reason why more foreign men marry Japanese women. You have to look at the social gender roles. Western men come from a society where you have to be a man. You have to be 'macho' or 'tough' to be man. You have to act and dress the role. Deviating from this line and people may think of you as not so. Western woman on the other hand have more freedom in this respect. They can be very womanly or tomboy and still fall into the gender role of a woman. In Japan it is reverse.

[ominae55]

Guys here are given more freedom. I'm sure you've seen the "stylish" guys what I like to call Bowies (since they look like David bowie from Labyrinth), where tight jeans, long dyed hair that, big sunglasses, jewelry, as well as the good old suit and tie guys. Now the women have to dress womanly. High heels, skirts, etc. when,s the last time you saw a woman in Japan wearing athletic shorts, pumas, or looking like a beach girl from LA?

[ominae55]

The woman have to stick to their gender role in Japan while the guys have more flexibility. So a Japanese guy expects this from his girlfriend or wife and most foreign women do not fit this role and do not like this role. On the other had a Western guy and Japanese female fit quite well together. Just my two cents on that comment.

[myriah96]

Thank you for the comprehensive analysis Ominae55. You bring up very good points in your statement. Argh, can't think of anything else to say =P

[DeathfireD]

Western guys are more outgoing and willing to talk to women and ask them out on dates. Asian men tend to be more shy when talking to women or trying to reveal their feelings, unless the girl is their childhood friend.

Like Jason pointed out in one of his past videos, the men and women tend to separate and avoid mixing or hanging out together in school.

[ominae55]

Ah, yes. This is true as well. Both men and women are shy here. There are a few that aren't. That is why nomikais and izakayas are popular I think. Get drunk, talk more, and then... well you know. Then the next day they can blame it on the alcohol. Yes, Japan is the only country where you can get away with saying, "It wasn't my fault, I was drunk."

[ominae55]

But please don't take that as a green light to do whatever you want.

[WhiteMatrix2006]

Now, I do plan on being married when I go and I also plan on having a baby by then (I know, scary to think about. New wife, new child, and then moving to a new country. The money is enough for 2 people but what about 3? You also said they tend to try to get large places to accommodate for the amount of people. How much larger and would it usually cost more per month? Also, HardGay was one of my favorite Japanese shows to watch on YT. Turns out he's married a supermodel and has a kid I believe.

[pedoro4477]

yeah im not gay but great advise foor the people that are

[mafurock33]

1:20 - write a novel.. hmm.. that sounds like fun!

4:30 - advice I have heard from a lot of people in mixed culture/language/nationality marriages is to take it EXTRA slow.

Thanks for all the advice esp. about being a gay jet in Japan this time.