"Becoming a Gangster" - Chair

[nukkasukka]

This isn't very gangster at all and you know what, I'm a little hurt. I'm not gonna like i am just straight up offended, flabbergasted, simply shock and a little aroused, in a very, very, VERY bad way. To be quite frank if i had it my way, id slap your fuckin' tits off. And u CAN quote that bitches. Good day...

[Dubmaster321]

this song sucks compared to... im fat...

[K13G08P2008]

it shoulg be sung by your vocalist in the i'm fat and nobody likes me video... if u can't do that.. your song would be corny...

[K13G08P2008]

it shoulg be sung by your vocalist in the i'm fat and nobody likes me video... if u can't do that.. your song would be korny...

[mimimirwitch]

i looooove the songs when they're super raw. i like ittttt.

[Guitar201000]

Seems that we are two of a kind, for I too played dangle wag with my cat and lost my testicles at an early age. I have started an organization that I call CTMB (Cat Took My Balls) and was wondering will you join me so that never again will a child's balls be taken by these ferocious felines. When our work is done they will be free to kick each other into sterility.

[ThePeteAwesome]

im in a band and youtube likes me

[44XxX2L8XxX44]

hold on i gotta get me some scooby slippers for my initiation

[TheBagelBrotherz]

Eh, I kept expecting rhymes.

[TheGreenPlague]

Kinda like ROLLINS BAND/TENCAIOUS D/ RADISH

[kickTHEspic]

CHAIR FUCKING RUUUULES

[MrR00tx]

Durendal707. WTF do you think rap is?!!?! you god dammm idiot

[Durendal707]

I know alot of people will object to what im going to say but i dont care.

I think your songs are pointless they serve no meaning and are just a bunch of words thrown together with cuss words. But i must say they were pretty funny when i first heard them. Keep going with music just mature a little and make songs that are somewhat related to you.

[HAIONSTRESS]

they dont mean anything to you, but people write really specific things that only make sense to them

[FuneralCrashers69]

This is a song about my journey to east Harlem, where I sought out the high lords of the crip organisation.

The leader's name was gun. I strapped on my jansport handypack and put on my good nighty. It was initiation night. I put on the scooby slippers to let them know I meant business.

I was told by officer bitchslap to venture under the east harlem bridge,where I would coordinate tasks to enter this great organisation with gun, and the rest of his homie crew

So I went, unsure of myself.

[FuneralCrashers69]

And to my surprise, they were quite friendly.

My first task was to throw bleach in an elderly womans face! Easy enough, she wasn't agile like I was. I caught the sneak attack and blinded her quickly and escaped.

Once I brought back the good news to gun, he told me to take the nearest rock to my private area, where only myself and my grammy were allowed.

This was easy for me, as when I was 7, I was playing dangle-wag with my cat Muffin Smiles, when he decided it would be humorous to take a

[FuneralCrashers69]

large bite. Since then there has been a fleshy wound where my testicles should be.

Well I played along and passed Gun's test, and now it was time for stage 3, the final trial.

My final trial was to shoot myself, and 18 other people in the abdomen with a 58 guage harpoon gun. as I loaded the first harpoon into the firearm, bitchslap pressed his phat piece to my forehead. And then he stated something I'll never forget.

"Get the fuck out you wack ass cracker, before I kill you, and your

[FuneralCrashers69]

entire family."

So I did, I dropped the harpoon gun and ran as fast as my slippers would take me.

However the harpoon gun discharged and harpooned me in the ankle, rendering me immobilized.

As I lay, writhing in agony, it was gun and bitchslap who came to my rescue, who came to my rescue with barbed clubs and bats, beating me until I couldn't remember my own name!

I awoke several days later, covered in my own bile. And took a long trip home. Well I learned my lesson. Next time I wanna join

[FuneralCrashers69]

a gang, I'll talk to homie G-Unit about joining the bloods.

THERE. I POSTED THE LYRICS.

I look crazy.

[jankstarrk]

you are fucking awesome

[FuneralCrashers69]

@jankstarrk NO U

[klimkcoC]

Can we get some lyrics typed up please? this is great. I am definitely a chair fan now

[StrangeBint]

Loved this too! For all the people that are into it I think they just fear change.

[FuneralCrashers69]

This is fucking amazing, LYRICS??!!

[Acgnz]

LOL! I like how you wonderful "fans" of the "fat kid" video keep telling them to stick to what is "funny" somehow missing that what is "funny" is an OPINION! My opinion is that this was....F'ing hilarious!! I love this and your first one guys! Don't change just because people tell you to. Keep it up!

[shazamofgondorsticks]

stick to funny songs this wasn't really that great.. but I'm fat was awesome best song I've heard in a while. stay funny. and make them with that fat kid too lol.

[monekyjumble]

you should revise these two songs, make em better, and load them onto your final album. ITUNES. i will download this shit.

[MwahSarahMwah]

Is this you guys all grown up!?

[jink2002]

..........Wow. This was kind of painful to watch. I mean, "I'm Fat" was awesome! But this....try again.

[VideoJerk1999]

ymmmmm cookies

[jankstarrk]

kitten SHAPED cookies

[mrknowitall04]

lol

[spacemodulated]

uh, animal abuse isn't funny, neither is violence against grannies.

i came here because you are a funny punk band. But remember the secret, subject matter is funny when you are bagging on yourself or those who aren't innocent, unlike grannies and cats.

I'm saying this because I don't want you to derail all the mojo you have building up.

Good Luck. You're bright ,funny and talented. I wish you well.

[justmecasi]

Agreeing with this guy. He's right.

[heroinkyle]

@spacemodulated i disagree nothing is more punk than not caring about grannies and cats did johnny rotten care about his granny or kitty? i think not...CHAIR RULES!!!