Maybe more important pictures to share would be those of parents verbally or physically abusing their kids (not that they're the same) but they're much more common and important situations to be aware of and strike down upon. Most abused women come out about it. Most abused men do not. Almost none abused children do... atleast spouces can divorce..
"My boyfriend verbally abused me!! When I called him a fat fucking slob who spends more time eating than thinking he called me logic illiterate.."
As for racial discrimination, why is the "white" race the only one that is forbidden to use certain words? What would be the reaction if someone made a movie called "Black Men Can't Throw"? Oh wait, is that the comment that got Jimmy the Greek(!) fired? (Coulda been that other guy, I forget) No, I'm not a Nazi, but stuff like this gives the white supremacist nutjobs something else to yell about.
Well let's do something about gender stereotyping then. Obviously it's wrong to be violent towards others, regardless of gender. However it appears to me that all TJ does is belittle the abuse women suffer, because not enough attention is paid to the abuse men suffer.
I'm not disagreeing that men are generally laughed at when abused by women, but but I just don't care for his points or the way he puts them across.
No one is incompetent in an area just for getting one sentence wrong or asking two hypothetical questions. Almost everyone has some history of abuse, whether it's school bullying, problems at home or in relationships. I'm not sure why you presume I'm some rare exception who lives in a bubble just b/c I find physical abuse is worse than psychological abuse. It's subjective: some find one or the other worse. You make rash assumptions about me for posting my position (which is the same as TJ's).
i have another example of reverse sexism. today there was outrage over a j crew advertisement featuring one of the female executives and her son. she was painting his toes pink. there's a cute caption saying something like lucky for me my son's favorite color is pink, toe nail painting is.... something like that.
would there be any outrage if it was of a girl playing with trucks in the mud??? hell no! only women are allowed to break gender stereotypes
@DrNHand1994 This is very true, but you missed the point that it is only acceptable to do so with mens approval if one wishes to be accepted in society. Men & women are equal bot opposite victims of the same dogma. It is a conjoint issue. Conjoint by definition implies there is a mutual problem to be solved, with mutual responsibility.
Actually I don't quite agree with you there, though you raise a valid point. One example- albeit rather outdated- was when my dad was younger, a family moved in next door and the girl was climbing the tree in the front garden. The mother came out and said 'get down from there- you're not a little boy'. o_O
@ourhandsaretied One of my real niggles is pink toys for girls, blue toys for boys, girls - dolls, boys -guns etc... even dressing. Hell come on guys get liberated have a dress up in a dress or skirt day & loose the stigma of the gender stereo type :)
Well I don't know about skirts but I totally agree on the colour thing. People who go on about it's supposed 'importance' don't realise that society's fickle opinion on what colours are 'meant' for what gender used to be reversed- pink, as a version of red, was, fifty years ago, viewed as masculine and pale blue was seen as feminine. Ive written assignments on and researched the issues around how gender stereotypes are forced on children solidly from a young age (and parents) (cont)
(cont) For instance, in a modern children's literature module, i saw books with blurbs on the back that said things like "all the things boys like, such as football, bikes, toy guns...." (this was an actual quote, TELLING young boys what they like. Parents breed it into their children. Sorry, rant over ;)
gender acquisition is a process of social learning rather than an expression of natures given. Indeed more so now that research has shown that gender identity gets established in consolidation between 12 & 36 months, much earlier than had been previously thought, the development of self & the acquisition of gender becomes fatefully entwined in early life.
@ourhandsaretied In short, parenthood & gender identity develop together, co evolving and co determining each other. Therefore within this framework, gender is not merely “acquired” by the child but rather “creates” a conflict-laden layering of internalized self-representations that “become” the child. Thereby one could no more become “degendered” than to become “deselfed”.
the real outrage over my example comes from homophobes. They're calling it something like transgendered child propaganda. I didn't really think of it in a way related to sexism until I read the yahoo news article and some of the comments.
I still do feel that women can break their gender stereotypes more because that is seen as being a feminist and breaking societies long and unfair social rules.
I have to disagree with his premise. Firstly, ANYONE verbally or physically abusing someone, be they male or female, is definitely in the wrong. But AA's argument was setting up a strawman to beat down. I know no one reasonable who feels someone being called a bitch one time in an argument is in the same boat as someone who gets the shit beaten out of them in an abusive relationship. But ongoing and insidious verbal abuse can be extremely damaging to someone's self esteem and sense of worth.
@dismutased I know women that would cower following a look from their abuser, being called a bitch would send them off the deep end, no physical contact necessary.
@Kinkspace my point exactly. People don't get that way due to one word, they've been systematically abused (verbally or physically) and broken down until their self esteem is non existent. The power of that one word has come via a history of abuse. I too have seen the result of ongoing verbal abuse, it isn't pretty.
@dismutased As you say it is historical, what many do not understand is this can be person after person, situation after situation from early childhood years. So any thinking that calling another person a bitch, a bastard or whatever the single word in a single instant from one not even intimately known is abuse & could potentially have far greater consequences than one intended or obvious.
@dismutased I must say I find it extremely disrespectful of anyone to call anyone any derogatory term whatever the circumstances, it is also unnecessary & far more a reflection of the callers inadequacies than anything else. However the recipient is still suffering abuse. This is not acceptable or excusable in any way yet society today not only accepts this as a norm, it promoted the idea that if you do not take the abuse on the chin you are a wimp.
@dismutased This only serves to breed a dysfunctional, intolerant, extremely violent abusive society which is reflected & easily observed in every aspect of life today, which ironically everyone is wholly dissatisfied with. The sooner society shifts perception to embrace the idea that this is not acceptable or justifiable behavior, the sooner we will acquire a more functional, tolerant, peaceful existence as a whole.
@dismutased Quoting you: "I know no one reasonable who feels someone being called a bitch one time in an argument is in the same boat as someone who gets the shit beaten out of them in an abusive relationship"
Now you have, or do you not consider me reasonable?
@dismutased I will add that gender premise stereotyping & the way it is stacked indoctrinates men to be the physical aggressor more so than women, which it indoctrinates to be far more subtle in their manipulation, both are equally responsible for the on going cycle of abuse.
I will never hit a woman but I'll slap a bitch.... That being said women make you fucking go crazy with rage by repeatedly taunting you and downgrading you, As being a man I have a really short temper like the 99% of us so guys remember if you accidently snap and hit a woman you better change your identity...
@xxGizmo05xx Oh my, to much to respond to here in YT. I am not spamming but you might find it helpful to read my blog in Kinkspace. The posts applicable are "The psychology of violence" & they should be read in chronological order, thats oldest first. When you have signed in scroll across the most popular photo's I'll be there, Zen.
Actually whilst I agree that there is a disparity in how mf, fm abuse is perceived, I have to say that the dismissal of verbal abuse as not being of equal or more harmful that physical abuse is inaccurate and much work has been done in this area if you would care to google it.
In abusive relationships the abuser can often intimate with a mere look. Physical scares heal far quicker tan mental ones.
@Kinkspace But at the end of the day, would you really choose a punch to the face over someone verbally abusing you? I know I would gladly take the insulting verbal abuse for 20 hours straight rather than a punch, if I had to choose. Likewise, would you rather have a permanent limp and broken teeth or some permanent bad memories of someone calling you names?
@MrStillmans Your talking to a survivor of both. Yes the punch is preferred, although I accept others may feel different. You obviously have absolutely no concept of what you are talking about sitting in your safe little environment projecting & moralizing about anything & everything you have no personal experience personally or academically. All animals adapt to life with physical disabilities, mental adaptation is far harder as you have demonstrated here.
@Kinkspace Obviously I have no concept of any of this, you say? How can you know my whole life from my little paragraph? What, I can't ask you a couple of hypothetical questions? I was not bashing your point to hell, just making a little debate. You cannot assume I am an idiot just for debating you. I don't see why you assume I exist in a "safe little environment" with "no personal experience" or accademics in this matter. How would you know my education and whole life from my 3-4 sentences?
@MrStillmans Lets get something perfectly clear then, if you have no experience of something it is best not to assume a fixed stance, you made a statement based on what you think you would do. Anyone that has had half a life in any respect recognizes what one thinks one will prefer is not actually what one ends up doing a greater majority of the time. That is not debate it is projected stupidity.
@MrStillmans You cannot make a decision on that which you have no knowledge of, it is like an atheist saying well i am an atheist but I like the Hindu Gods over the Christian God. Its nonsense. By all means ask questions of those that have had the experience but personal projection is nothing but "belief". Which is a dangerous thing to do in the area of abuse. It creates myth and it simply does not help deal with the reality. Are you a creationist by any chance?
@MrStillmans I have assumed nothing, read your statements back, I am relating to the evidence observed. I have both academic & personal, and from where I am sitting my conclusion is solid :)
@MrStillmans I could make some ridiculous claim that I can tap into the supper conscious, but I will stick to, you provided more than adequate information so it is wholly unnecessary ;))))
@Kinkspace I don't think too many people understand the psychological abuse caused. The power that verbal abuse can have to undermine a person completely, to render them to a state of absolutely no self esteem. The fact that so many people don't get that gives verbal abuse even more power, because it's not seen the way physical abuse is.
Interestingly I am part of a lifestyle that does recognize & embrace this. I have been in it all my life, ironically I have never been abused by any in the lifestyle but have been a victim of battery in the one vanilla relationship I had. I will not be doing that again ;)
The lifestyle is founded on protocols revolving around consent & intimacy. This is for the most part absent from the nilla world. Which is kind of ironic when you think most nillas call people in my lifestyle anything from perverted to fucked up. Kind of a weired projection of their reality really from my perspective.
@ourhandsaretied Well I did that in response to your introduction, which I wholly agree with. I have subsequently written a response that encompasses the video as a whole.
That will teach me to not respond to soon & be patient, forgive me I am only human ;) I had every intention of going on to explain why I deleted it ;)
Maybe more important pictures to share would be those of parents verbally or physically abusing their kids (not that they're the same) but they're much more common and important situations to be aware of and strike down upon. Most abused women come out about it. Most abused men do not. Almost none abused children do... atleast spouces can divorce..
"My boyfriend verbally abused me!! When I called him a fat fucking slob who spends more time eating than thinking he called me logic illiterate.."
junoguten 2 months ago
Couldn't agree more with this assessment, its rare to find a left winger who shares this view.
unassumption 9 months ago
@unassumption really?
CombatZombieman 6 months ago
As for racial discrimination, why is the "white" race the only one that is forbidden to use certain words? What would be the reaction if someone made a movie called "Black Men Can't Throw"? Oh wait, is that the comment that got Jimmy the Greek(!) fired? (Coulda been that other guy, I forget) No, I'm not a Nazi, but stuff like this gives the white supremacist nutjobs something else to yell about.
tctheunbeliever 10 months ago
@tctheunbeliever The white race isnt the one forbidden to use certain words. There are offensive words about white people also (i.e. honky)
ourhandsaretied 10 months ago
@ourhandsaretied I'm not claiming to be persecuted or anything, obviously I'm not. But I never heard anybody use the phrase "the h-word."
I AM glad I don't have to call myself a European-Native American-American. :-) >
tctheunbeliever 10 months ago
Well let's do something about gender stereotyping then. Obviously it's wrong to be violent towards others, regardless of gender. However it appears to me that all TJ does is belittle the abuse women suffer, because not enough attention is paid to the abuse men suffer.
I'm not disagreeing that men are generally laughed at when abused by women, but but I just don't care for his points or the way he puts them across.
DeeDemonwitch 10 months ago
No one is incompetent in an area just for getting one sentence wrong or asking two hypothetical questions. Almost everyone has some history of abuse, whether it's school bullying, problems at home or in relationships. I'm not sure why you presume I'm some rare exception who lives in a bubble just b/c I find physical abuse is worse than psychological abuse. It's subjective: some find one or the other worse. You make rash assumptions about me for posting my position (which is the same as TJ's).
MrStillmans 10 months ago
@MrStillmans
Who was this a reply to? Have I really said something like that to you?
ourhandsaretied 10 months ago
@ourhandsaretied Oops. Sorry, I was talking to Kinkspace, not you. Looks like I typed in the wrong box. Anyway, I look forward to your next videos.
MrStillmans 10 months ago
There are several good books on the History of Sex.
One I liked was Sacred Pleasure by Riane Eisler.
Sub titled: Sex, Myth, and the Politics of the Body - New Paths to Power and Love.
Very good study of the roll the sexes have played in history and how those rolls were hi-jacked and diverted.
Abuse comes from different sources and for different reasons.
gjsterp 10 months ago
i have another example of reverse sexism. today there was outrage over a j crew advertisement featuring one of the female executives and her son. she was painting his toes pink. there's a cute caption saying something like lucky for me my son's favorite color is pink, toe nail painting is.... something like that.
would there be any outrage if it was of a girl playing with trucks in the mud??? hell no! only women are allowed to break gender stereotypes
DrNHand1994 10 months ago
@DrNHand1994 This is very true, but you missed the point that it is only acceptable to do so with mens approval if one wishes to be accepted in society. Men & women are equal bot opposite victims of the same dogma. It is a conjoint issue. Conjoint by definition implies there is a mutual problem to be solved, with mutual responsibility.
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@DrNHand1994
Actually I don't quite agree with you there, though you raise a valid point. One example- albeit rather outdated- was when my dad was younger, a family moved in next door and the girl was climbing the tree in the front garden. The mother came out and said 'get down from there- you're not a little boy'. o_O
ourhandsaretied 10 months ago
@ourhandsaretied One of my real niggles is pink toys for girls, blue toys for boys, girls - dolls, boys -guns etc... even dressing. Hell come on guys get liberated have a dress up in a dress or skirt day & loose the stigma of the gender stereo type :)
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@Kinkspace
Well I don't know about skirts but I totally agree on the colour thing. People who go on about it's supposed 'importance' don't realise that society's fickle opinion on what colours are 'meant' for what gender used to be reversed- pink, as a version of red, was, fifty years ago, viewed as masculine and pale blue was seen as feminine. Ive written assignments on and researched the issues around how gender stereotypes are forced on children solidly from a young age (and parents) (cont)
ourhandsaretied 10 months ago
@Kinkspace
(cont) For instance, in a modern children's literature module, i saw books with blurbs on the back that said things like "all the things boys like, such as football, bikes, toy guns...." (this was an actual quote, TELLING young boys what they like. Parents breed it into their children. Sorry, rant over ;)
ourhandsaretied 10 months ago
@ourhandsaretied You are 100% on the nose!
gender acquisition is a process of social learning rather than an expression of natures given. Indeed more so now that research has shown that gender identity gets established in consolidation between 12 & 36 months, much earlier than had been previously thought, the development of self & the acquisition of gender becomes fatefully entwined in early life.
cont...
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@ourhandsaretied In short, parenthood & gender identity develop together, co evolving and co determining each other. Therefore within this framework, gender is not merely “acquired” by the child but rather “creates” a conflict-laden layering of internalized self-representations that “become” the child. Thereby one could no more become “degendered” than to become “deselfed”.
Don't start me I could write a book on it ;)
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@ourhandsaretied Emotionally we are the same animal. Gender premise denies both male & female this actual therefore depriving both of their humanity.
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@ourhandsaretied yikes :o
the real outrage over my example comes from homophobes. They're calling it something like transgendered child propaganda. I didn't really think of it in a way related to sexism until I read the yahoo news article and some of the comments.
I still do feel that women can break their gender stereotypes more because that is seen as being a feminist and breaking societies long and unfair social rules.
DrNHand1994 10 months ago
I have to disagree with his premise. Firstly, ANYONE verbally or physically abusing someone, be they male or female, is definitely in the wrong. But AA's argument was setting up a strawman to beat down. I know no one reasonable who feels someone being called a bitch one time in an argument is in the same boat as someone who gets the shit beaten out of them in an abusive relationship. But ongoing and insidious verbal abuse can be extremely damaging to someone's self esteem and sense of worth.
dismutased 10 months ago
@dismutased I know women that would cower following a look from their abuser, being called a bitch would send them off the deep end, no physical contact necessary.
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@Kinkspace my point exactly. People don't get that way due to one word, they've been systematically abused (verbally or physically) and broken down until their self esteem is non existent. The power of that one word has come via a history of abuse. I too have seen the result of ongoing verbal abuse, it isn't pretty.
dismutased 10 months ago
@dismutased As you say it is historical, what many do not understand is this can be person after person, situation after situation from early childhood years. So any thinking that calling another person a bitch, a bastard or whatever the single word in a single instant from one not even intimately known is abuse & could potentially have far greater consequences than one intended or obvious.
cont...
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@dismutased I must say I find it extremely disrespectful of anyone to call anyone any derogatory term whatever the circumstances, it is also unnecessary & far more a reflection of the callers inadequacies than anything else. However the recipient is still suffering abuse. This is not acceptable or excusable in any way yet society today not only accepts this as a norm, it promoted the idea that if you do not take the abuse on the chin you are a wimp.
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@dismutased This only serves to breed a dysfunctional, intolerant, extremely violent abusive society which is reflected & easily observed in every aspect of life today, which ironically everyone is wholly dissatisfied with. The sooner society shifts perception to embrace the idea that this is not acceptable or justifiable behavior, the sooner we will acquire a more functional, tolerant, peaceful existence as a whole.
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@dismutased Quoting you: "I know no one reasonable who feels someone being called a bitch one time in an argument is in the same boat as someone who gets the shit beaten out of them in an abusive relationship"
Now you have, or do you not consider me reasonable?
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@dismutased I will add that gender premise stereotyping & the way it is stacked indoctrinates men to be the physical aggressor more so than women, which it indoctrinates to be far more subtle in their manipulation, both are equally responsible for the on going cycle of abuse.
Kinkspace 10 months ago
I will never hit a woman but I'll slap a bitch.... That being said women make you fucking go crazy with rage by repeatedly taunting you and downgrading you, As being a man I have a really short temper like the 99% of us so guys remember if you accidently snap and hit a woman you better change your identity...
xxGizmo05xx 10 months ago
@xxGizmo05xx Oh my, to much to respond to here in YT. I am not spamming but you might find it helpful to read my blog in Kinkspace. The posts applicable are "The psychology of violence" & they should be read in chronological order, thats oldest first. When you have signed in scroll across the most popular photo's I'll be there, Zen.
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@Kinkspace
No Thank You....
xxGizmo05xx 10 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@xxGizmo05xx Why does that not surprise me :)
Peace :)
Kinkspace 10 months ago
Actually whilst I agree that there is a disparity in how mf, fm abuse is perceived, I have to say that the dismissal of verbal abuse as not being of equal or more harmful that physical abuse is inaccurate and much work has been done in this area if you would care to google it.
In abusive relationships the abuser can often intimate with a mere look. Physical scares heal far quicker tan mental ones.
Kinkspace 10 months ago 2
@Kinkspace But at the end of the day, would you really choose a punch to the face over someone verbally abusing you? I know I would gladly take the insulting verbal abuse for 20 hours straight rather than a punch, if I had to choose. Likewise, would you rather have a permanent limp and broken teeth or some permanent bad memories of someone calling you names?
MrStillmans 10 months ago
@MrStillmans Your talking to a survivor of both. Yes the punch is preferred, although I accept others may feel different. You obviously have absolutely no concept of what you are talking about sitting in your safe little environment projecting & moralizing about anything & everything you have no personal experience personally or academically. All animals adapt to life with physical disabilities, mental adaptation is far harder as you have demonstrated here.
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@Kinkspace Obviously I have no concept of any of this, you say? How can you know my whole life from my little paragraph? What, I can't ask you a couple of hypothetical questions? I was not bashing your point to hell, just making a little debate. You cannot assume I am an idiot just for debating you. I don't see why you assume I exist in a "safe little environment" with "no personal experience" or accademics in this matter. How would you know my education and whole life from my 3-4 sentences?
MrStillmans 10 months ago
@MrStillmans Lets get something perfectly clear then, if you have no experience of something it is best not to assume a fixed stance, you made a statement based on what you think you would do. Anyone that has had half a life in any respect recognizes what one thinks one will prefer is not actually what one ends up doing a greater majority of the time. That is not debate it is projected stupidity.
cont...
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@MrStillmans You cannot make a decision on that which you have no knowledge of, it is like an atheist saying well i am an atheist but I like the Hindu Gods over the Christian God. Its nonsense. By all means ask questions of those that have had the experience but personal projection is nothing but "belief". Which is a dangerous thing to do in the area of abuse. It creates myth and it simply does not help deal with the reality. Are you a creationist by any chance?
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@MrStillmans I have assumed nothing, read your statements back, I am relating to the evidence observed. I have both academic & personal, and from where I am sitting my conclusion is solid :)
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@MrStillmans I could make some ridiculous claim that I can tap into the supper conscious, but I will stick to, you provided more than adequate information so it is wholly unnecessary ;))))
Kinkspace 10 months ago
I like this song, would you be so kind as to tell me who etc?
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@Kinkspace I don't think too many people understand the psychological abuse caused. The power that verbal abuse can have to undermine a person completely, to render them to a state of absolutely no self esteem. The fact that so many people don't get that gives verbal abuse even more power, because it's not seen the way physical abuse is.
DeeDemonwitch 10 months ago
@DeeDemonwitch Exactly :)
Interestingly I am part of a lifestyle that does recognize & embrace this. I have been in it all my life, ironically I have never been abused by any in the lifestyle but have been a victim of battery in the one vanilla relationship I had. I will not be doing that again ;)
cont...
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@DeeDemonwitch
The lifestyle is founded on protocols revolving around consent & intimacy. This is for the most part absent from the nilla world. Which is kind of ironic when you think most nillas call people in my lifestyle anything from perverted to fucked up. Kind of a weired projection of their reality really from my perspective.
Kinkspace 10 months ago
Beautiful sum up of what TJ was saying!
TearsOfWar1 10 months ago
Comment removed
Kinkspace 10 months ago
@Kinkspace
Thankyou for agreeing even if u deleted the comment hehe (it came up in my inbox :P )
ourhandsaretied 10 months ago
@ourhandsaretied Well I did that in response to your introduction, which I wholly agree with. I have subsequently written a response that encompasses the video as a whole.
That will teach me to not respond to soon & be patient, forgive me I am only human ;) I had every intention of going on to explain why I deleted it ;)
Kinkspace 10 months ago