Ask Swifty - Ask Swifty[Episode 29]

[tenderwedge]

i was drinking orange juice and you made a joke now my nose hurts like hell and there is orange juice on my desk

[EXHellfire]

why the fuck do you have a zombie survival guide? xD

[AlyssaApocalypse76]

PARENTS MUST SIGN PAPERS NOW!!!!! ;D

[Johnny54411]

I AM A NOMNOM RAPTOR, RAWR !!!

[CandyceBizarre]

press 7

[link5634]

I’m 20 years old my parents don't have to sign anything swifty just sayin

[narwhalcupcake1107]

I love how every girl in ansk swifty is automativlly named susan

[JessiNinjaa]

OMG!! I thought i was the only one who knew bout the nom-nom raptor!! I wass eating nd i was like nom nom nd my frend was like " whut is tht?" nd i sed " its a nom nom raptor." xD

[TheMegabite09]

I think he was bored while doing this. But that's what made it funny!! Lol

[canadianfallout]

I'm gonna kill myself.

[AlexVonVanity]

here in wisconsin i just went to my state fair and i had a chocolate frozen banana covered in..NUTS! ;DD on a stick

it was soooooooooooo sexual(:<3

lol, love yuh!<333

[EpicMalena98]

Keep pressing 2, and it looks like he's shooting fire, :D

[aly5225]

i love swifty..

"*chuckles* holy fuck"

[laughworldpeace]

IF YOUR PENIS WAS A GIRL AND HAD A VAGINA WOULD YOU ASK YOUR FRIENDS TO BANG YOUR PENIS WHEN IT SAYS SHE NEEDS IT? JK LOL

[Sllepwiththesirens33]

Omg i cant stop laughing at this!!!!!!!!

[awesomeness00121]

lmfao keep pessing 1

[awesomeness00121]

HAHAHAHA holey fuck!

[missmusic17ily]

lol i want that gift rapped up under my tree(; lol jk... thats not weird at all... but seriously i just found my new favorite dinosaur(:

[SidoniaJane]

Hahah, press 9 repeatedly.

[EpicRainbowNarwhals]

OUCH! Swifty hit me with his wood :c

[Ranblackheart01]

@ 3:14

Why? Why did you hit us, Swifty? Haha

[FredFan2961]

press four repeatedly :O

[tHePuRLeBam98]

after this ep i died

[PunkTapGirl]

NomNom Raptor :D Best swifty I've seen hahaha

[mandirawr]

ahaha omg. when you press 1, it says "sex with my mother." :D

[ShortCakesNerd2015]

haha replayed 3:11 like three times!

[rambo7149]

i love how he freaked out like a girl and backed up and got worried XD

[mushicorn]

press 1 then five - sex with my apocalypse15?? =O

[XOmegaKittyX]

NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

[falconpawnchable]

why do you always talk about penises?!

[SammehSunshinee]

NO WAY, I know the people in Without Conscious Thought! They're from New Zealand too xD

[reesyluvsu2]

OMG!!!! WHEN YOU HIT THE CAMERA I WAS LAUGHING SOOOO HARD!!!!!!!! XD

[delaneyn2332]

3:08 - 3:15 are freaking HILARIOUS. I lol'd

[jesupek]

4:12 ShaneDawson

[skilletchick666]

oh my god i fukin love this guy have any of you guys noticed that he always accidently hits the camera by accident!

lol XD rolf :) <3 love you with mouth

[itsbrennabitch18]

2:11 - 2:15 is so cute! One of my favorite episodes! (:

[MissCatherineMars]

NOM NOM RAPTER!!!! (:

[NinjaBunnyPro]

id pack a pizza lunchable. cuz pizza lunchables are awesome XD yeh, im a high skool kid, & i bring lunchables every now & then. so sue me

[shiori124]

i feel soooooo bad for the kid that he is going to have in the future if he gets a family

[smexichick97]

my parents sighed;)

XDDDD jk

ur vids give me a braingasm, hehee my virgin ears hurt!

[AlSpazz]

He's doing the Shane Dawson thing with the blank greenscreen behind him...

[BadassRandomness]

@AlSpazz this is from 2009...

[clairebubble7]

BEST EPISODE EVER!!!!!!!!! :D

[uchiha218]

"can ponies ride unicorns" - uh yeah, how do you think sarah jessica parker was born, that horse face

[uchiha218]

"can ponies ride unicorns" - uh yeah, how do you think sarah jessica parker was born, that horse face

[TehComedyDuo]

Yes, yes you are a looser, but you're OUR looser<3

[jennynin2121]

man you got old quick rofl <3

[Reginadarlinn2014]

3:03

My mom walked into the room RIGHT then.

She told me to turn this episode off.

I told her to go make me a sandwich.

It was worth getting grounded for ;D

[offwithurhead]

@Reginadarlinn2014 She can do that because of a video?O.O

[IronPredator12]

@Reginadarlinn2014 My dad asked if I was gay when he saw that. XD

[MyKurohime]

NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

[MeganNicole420]

omg if his wood was that big girls would cry

[JuliannaQuestions]

No why would u even ask tha- GOD the tune is so catchy!

[johnspoop]

3:10! hahaha

[MrSasquatchStudios]

Give me those papers ;DD

[NarwhalsWinAtLife]

I can't listen to Burning Ring of Fire without thinking of this now.

Also, I ate a banana ate lunch and my friend (who's a guy) made that face, I just stopped eatting it...so it doesn't get better in highschool kids, it gets worse.

[Groudonproduction]

Salapado

[AmyandMarielleshow]

And that, children, is a Nom Nom Raptor!

[chheser456]

HEY MOM I GOT WOOODDD.....

[EmoChixNeedLuv2]

hey guess wat baby!wat?im given u.....ME FOR CHRISTMAS!.....yay?yeah can u just get me a normal shity present like u do every yr like some sweater vest im tellin u ill wear to ur parents house and then say i forgot to pack it when rlly i burned it along with the pictures of ur ex boyfriend.....yes im jeliouse wat of it bitch.........................­................

[SurgarKissesxoxo]

3:01 Best Part. <3

[SkullySkye]

nom nom raptors!!!!!!!!!!!

[sammy00poll]

ahahah released on my birthday

[Bitchfaceandcaitlin]

Unless your making babies for my sandwich!

[MisqueKeira]

3:14 Oh noes face!@!! :D :3

[MooshBaby121]

O have tht same Zombie Survival book...loll rannddomm

[vannacarter6]

4:13 NOT GAY :3

[noelle549]

damn it ment shane...

[noelle549]

at 4:00 he looked like fucking shame dawson

[pinksadi13]

omg did you see his face when he thought he hit the camera? LOLS!!

[smoggstah13]

"unless your parents sign some papers..."

[skylakrausz11]

K....Give Me The Papers ; ) Hahaha

[KittyKatEatsKiwi]

Zombies. All the way. Thank you, Swifty! <3

[ShaneDawsonRocks1145]

And that children is a NOM NOM Rapter :)

[katluvur10]

Haha Holy fuck :DD

[TheVickygirl1]

3:00 is so funny

[china1120]

you are... just so fucking sexy here

[CourtneyChaos94]

And That's A Bad Thing........Unless You're Making Babies For My Sandwich! *does a dance* XD

[jjuliescmuliee]

you should get a toungue piercing, js.

[TheDrak0n]

E=3



[ninjachels]

I love you.

[epicwarding]

i've been watching these since episode 16 till now and oh my god i dont think i can laugh anymore -it hurts so bad i got to watch the rest of this tomorrow

[DragonFly76384]

At 2:14 he stutters a little. Aaah. -3

[AussieK96]

Can you show us what happend to your camera when you hit it?

[starbuckztar]

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm wow theres really nothing to say to that and hes right i did not learn anything from that

[trinitystar161]

i got the zombie book!

[TheWoffleman]

@trinitystar161 can i ask where you got it from please

[trinitystar161]

@TheWoffleman i got it from a target in the book section

[bowiewondergirl]

when u have kids and they watch ur vids there gonna go to school and be like "my daddy ate babies!" ...and then u wont have any more kids

[bloodyfreak100]

@xEBOBx95 ohh thnx 4 clearing that out ^^

[iornslug1]

"look mom i got wood hahahaha........ owwwww splinter ahhhhhh mom my dick gave me a splinter!

[Wolfsraingirl4ever]

it would be the BEST christmas ever if i got Swifty as a present <3 :D

[sammyammyantha1011]

when i saw him hit the camera i laughed so hard

[Akana431]

I wander if you are trying to scare girls away by saying you eat babys lol

[angelofthetwilight01]

Thank you, so much swifty, for getting me addicted to Without Conscious Thought.

[ninjachels]

LOL I love when he hits the camera lolol.

BEATING THE BABY OUT OF PANCREATIC CANCER!

These videos = ♥

[bloodyfreak100]

Is that a tongue ring at 0:44 (of course pause it sow I can c it right) :3

[xEBOBx95]

@bloodyfreak100 its not a tongue piercing. in you see his next vid he talks about how alot of people thought the same thing, and he showed us his unpierced tongue.

[wolflover1235]

I read it like a shit ton!

[kavoo12]

OMFG I HAVE THAT WRAPPING PAPER!!!!!!!!

[clodbean101]

what was that red ninja book called?

[xIsabellaDeex3]

Aw man, bananas are my favorite friut o___o

[NinjaBrideget]

Beating The Baby Out! Lol!

[tvc1028]

make a numnum raptor shirt

[funimationinc]

Lol, you have 169 videos

[Xsingersdarkpassion1]

lol i love this guy,and Nom nom rapter lol Classic!!

[SuperShaned123]

if they sign papers u suck banana and mine go up ur hershy highway

[girlofwar2]

YEAH I DID THAT, IMMA FREAKIN' NINJA!!

[hyde132]

your video hurt my dick.

[Xsingersdarkpassion1]

@hyde132 lol fail

[SillehAllene]

i loved how when he hit it he was like "whoa.. what happened? HOLY SHIT"

[MegaOnionRings]

penis

[AlexEvanslvr666]

haha sex with ur mom XD DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

[MagicalGreenDragon]

ya i did that. i'm a frikkin ninja.

[DinosGoRawr47]

he always uses the name Susan xD

[MsAbused]

Nom Nom Raptor! <3

[bleachlover151]

lol these are relly fucking funny

[bleachlover151]

lol these re relly fucking funny

[ShwackdatAzz]

That book is bad ass, I have it too. haha

[lizluvsjoe11]

MOM DAD!!!!! I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW!!!!! Sign these papers please =D

[TheSickHumanBeing]

Dead babies is teh noms.

[gleag1208]

hey why does it sound lyk dora the exploera is playing in the backround at some points

[BobBambusle]

I have read all three of those books. Good job.

[lizboo411]

I like your vest ^ - ^

[assbandit91]

dude whats that tropical song in the background haha

[flapjack6x]

i couldnt stop laughing at the gonnareaha part 

[AjaEmo]

your hair in these videos look a lot better then your Jesus-like hair now haha XD

PS You would be the greatest gift ever lol

[WweFan801]

I totaly have the zombie handbook and ninja <------ nerd

[976animelover]

3:12 OUCH! why would you hit me T-T i subscribed to YOU!

[PammieChan]

:D I have the same paperwrap. XD

[jashepo]

omg!!! 3:00 funiest scene ever!!!!!!!!!!XD

[Soramerk]

zombie survival guide...i have that book, its awsome



[ReenuhhBabyy]

Gimme the papers. Imma get them signed(;

[115Blackangel]

y do u look like zac efron and shane dawsons love child????? and y do all the hot dudes with long hair have to live so far away from australia?

[115Blackangel]

y do u look like zac efron and shane dawsons love child????? and y do all the hot dudes with long hair have to live so far away from australia?

[MaximumRideLuvr]

SOCIALVIBE FTW! I AM ON IT AND I WEAR THE BRACELT 24/7

[Meganonr1]

Gay

[1Mirandapaige]

I love the nomnom raptor!!!!!!

[Tiffardo]

What if I dont want to act like that never happened?!

[DancergurlCSDA101]

AND that childeren is a nom nom raptor!

[miamaria40506070]

I want Swifty for Christmas...

[kanameislove55]

"I'm pretty sure if my penis ever sang "Burning Ring of Fire", it would be because I have gonorrhea." HAHAHAH

[XsilverstineX]

aahhh he has a toung ring:D thats sooo hot:DDD

[Ange112233]

Nom nom raptor:)

[RHSCadet2012]

OMG THIS TUNE IS SO CATCHY!!!! :)

[awesomeness0192]

i wonder what human tastes like.

[ThePheonix66]

omg swifty XD ive read the zombie survival guide o.o its more funny than it is serious

[strukgoldenice]

"Oh my god, I'm outta shape"

Hahaha yer so funny(:

[MrSpirda]

are u high whn u make vids

[camisado328]

nomnomnomnomnom

(:

[percibethrocks]

You are so freaking hilarious

[ispeak4me]

lololol i had to subscribe

[yoyoyiggityyo123xyz]

Haha wow that's some funny stuff. Hey wannah here a funny word.? Pickel-weasel.! Hahahahahahha.!

[AnimeKnight9517]

hahaha I love you Matt. you are hilarious lol

[FreakelFacePete]

hey mum look i got wood...... lol

[FireClan101]

And that is a nom nom raptor!

[awkwardperspective]

Swifty, do you know how odd it is to sit here watching you play with wood when my roommate could be watching over my shoulder at any time? But don't worry; I'm sure she won't ask you to stop either ;)

[starlight9950]

BEATING THE BABY OUT OF PANCRIOTIC CANCER!

[Bits35]

2:04 - 2:12 I don't think anyone has used NOM NOM NOM more effectively. lol

[MrMeeph]

Can i ask what the background music is when he's jerking off the cardboard tube?

[BrennaParker1]

hahaha its so cute when he like breaks character n laughes lol

[MackenzieKraze]

Haha I have the same Wrapping Paper. :D

[TheItunesgirl]

NOM NOM RAPTOR!

[bam9524]

Hey mom!! look, i got wood! :D lolol

[thegamerzadvocate006]

hey swifty! you do that with empty wrapping paper rolls too? :D xD

[TheDaviMan]

"oh yes, a machete and a mountain bike"

[thtgurl100]

and this, children, is a nomnom rapter.

[Methodman344]

hehehe *CHOP* WAAHHHH T_T

[SammieSunnieD]

DUDE without conscious thought is awesome (:

Straight from NZ. ~

[117Scraps]

i dont need a zombie handbook all i need is a sharp ax like object and im gooooooooooood

[MsBarrrrr]

3:00 3:01 HAAHAHAHA

[shadowman556]

The book with the black and green cover. What's the name of it? Does anyone know?

[Specialist01xbl]

lol, it does look like he has a tongue piercing at 0:44

[RockOutLiveLoveLife]

you kind of remind me of destery moore lol your both hilarious and ur both hot

[LilxBlackxBowzz]

i love his laff haha<3

[Sushicatninjapwnage]

U needuh make a nomnom raptor shirt

[iiLoveeJerkzz]

"oh my god im out of shape" lmao

[miesa02]

that tune was pretty catchy!

[TenTen459]

Oh that O sh*t face at 3:14

[lili132300283]

penis sword?

[xcaitlynannex3]

swifty, will you be my nomnomrapter? ;)