Insidious Worm Makes Unauthorized Purchases When Computer User Is Drunk

[littlecarrey]

Trigger searches @1:20 lol" fingerless gloves"

[stevebob240]

Sounds like someone is laughing in the background at 0:50

[Comeback64]

3 boxes of Slim Jims. They arrive this Friday.

[Apiaanilol]

This worm also hacks YouTube accounts to write comments, that make it look like that some is dumb enough to actually believe Onion news.

[carlmango11]

This is actually genious:

"See Facebook private profile"

"The worm bought a bunch of Japanese weapons I saw in a movie last week"

"Reports from Europe where the worm has been reported to strike as early as 4pm"

[ARTISTofPORTRAIT]

1:01 study more americans planning for zombie apocalypse than retirement. that statistic seems way to real.

[iamenjoi]

It took me almost the entire video to get it.

[SkyfalconTin]

the worm also caused 9/11 event



[QueenAnime99]

This is too funny. :D

[IRKuyer]

Haha Ana Genrty and Jeff Tate = Brooke Alvarez and Tucker Hope.

[boxtickamerica]

I think they may have got the idea for imnotthatdrunkDOTcom from this video

[metabog]

The Europe bit at the end killed me.

[phenomenalclassic93]

that's Brooke Alvarez, not Ana lmao. how many aliases do Onion employees have?

[joe133322]

"Golden Girls - The Complete Series" LMAO

[csgrambauer]

@joe133322 I laughed so much at that bit too. XD!!

[scottg4520]

Hey it's brooke.

[TheRhinehart86]

Buying shit online while drunk must a new thing, cant say ive heard anyone doing it

[MarijnStevens]

I watched this on theonion site while eating... the balls are not censored.

[Vlum88]

Ann Gentry?? Isnt she Brooke Alvarez?

[bulgeland4]

@Vlum88 YEAH! WTF!

[atmatheprophet]

I think my iPhone 4G has the worm. I see the numerous calls my phone randomly makes to friends from about 12am-4am and then the angry texts I get back from them annoyed by the worm.

[SavoyTruffle78]

@atmatheprophet:

This comment was incredible. LMFAOOOO!!!!

[cory18011801]

Fail.

[hugesinker]

@cory18011801 Sir, I demand a full and concise explanation that details the reasoning behind your assertion.

[cory18011801]

@hugesinker

That the worm actually works in the most stupid ways and its effecting people.

[JoeJoeyJose]

The 2 AM worm set me up with a date with a tranny on Craigslist x(

[losermonster]

"blocked facebook see profile" is brilliant

[keen14you]

I have to confess, I may be at risk. I tied a few on last week and found an hour-long bestiality porno file on my computer the next day... Should I contact my credit card company about an unauthorized charge?

[TheBlokin]

ana gentry is smokin hott

[ca1cifer]

I think I might have this worm! I keep getting calls and emails from guys I don't know after I go out drinking!

[chuck7790]

it's 4am and i just bought glow-in-the-dark condoms... i'm infected with that worm!

[StitchedMusik]

2:29

[popertop]

fucking hilarious

[landline00]

Is Ana Gentry the same lady as Brooke Alvarez?

[Zabeus0]

@landline00 Yes. Real name Suzanne Sena. This should help all her stalkers out there.

[TheHelpfulGuy]

Tom Hanks Admits he is hitler's Grandson, 1:15 bottom

[METALMAN4Wii]

It's true I work as a Marking Manager for "ebay" and almost 10% of Overpriced Crap. is bought when the buyer is Drunk, that's when the Worm Virus Attacks.....!

[the7thwreck]

OMG! WE HAVE ALL BEEN INFECTED!...lol

[gundrag000]

obama will die in 100 year.

[MrBoognish420]

gah that worm must have gotten in my computer.

[gundrag000]

or in 50 year.

[duckcluck123]

who the hell flagged this?

[gundrag000]

@duckcluck123 lol here was someone who did that.. before I did that ..

[duckcluck123]

@gundrag000 pls dont flag videos

[jakeequalsawsomeness]

OVERWHELMED OBAMA GETS IN AIR FORCE ON AND JUST STARTS FLYING

[EddieTheFishReturns]

You can cure the problem with a program called "Doctor Worm".

[cecily919]

OMG!!! I have been a victim to this worm countless times. Now I have proof of whats really been going on for when my boyfriend sees new pair of shoes arrive every few days from UPS.

[cecily919]

OMG!!! I have been a victim to this worm countless times. Now I have proof of whats really been going on for when my boyfriend sees new pair of shoes arrive every few days from UPS.

[THEPANTSWEREDEAD]

the YOU ARE SO BREAUTIFUL virus

[Lomotilian]

Wow... Ana Gentry's SMOKIN' HOT!

[mindseternal]

The Trojan Ribbed Worm keeps downloading porn onto my computer. Also, my computer has contracted Viral Herpes and no Anti-Virus has been able to cure it.

[thursday21987]

"Trojan's new 'Total Pleasure' condoms make women unnecessary" LOL!

[citybuster]

A couple years ago I saw purchases on my credit card bill I didn't remember making. I believe I made them while I was high on, er, ambien. Ambien's no fun at all except you don't quite remember what happened when you're high on it.

[MrCKiwi]

def leppard concert tix

[2dlamb]

fingerless gloves

[EuchridEucrow1]

burrritos

[ThaDane]

4 pm.. uhhh low blow XD

then again, that would probably be the time difference?

[keithpetro]

4pm? Surely not tea time!

[megaLoster]

u know when i hear justin's beiber music in the baground i go to the onion

[citizenstand]

4pm is about right for europe! bar 25 anyone?

[CenkIsAdorable]

Thumbs up if you went to google images right after this to look at naked pictures of ferris buehlers sister

[cookiepwnsU]

1:17 my last name is Wilcox -_-

[JoeDeckz]

blocked on facebook see profile! hahaha

[TheFracturedMind]

si the worm acts like a drunken human with an unlimited credit card stuck on to an amazon account...interesing

[OktoberSunset]

email picture of balls to boss = epic win. 

[ThElitE]

I think I could get along with this virus...Golden Girls FTW!

[anonymousassasin1]

I fucking lol'd my ass off

[joncmaxwell]

LOL @ Prof. Greg Reiss' facebook pictures!

[tarantulady]

The Onion is my favorite troll <3 I love you Onion.

[ALPHADESIGNTAMPICO]

Hahahaha! Really? Do people say this as an excuse for doing stupid things with their computer? Hahaha what a world!

[saihtamw]

Stop making fun of europeans drinking alcohol all the time! :P *hicks*

[keirarts30]

good lord my computer has this! It seems to strike amazon and is building me an epic collection of anime and cult horror.

[0faisca0]

still like to know WHY THAT PERSONAL DATA RECORD NO PC! Save this paper nun or a disk out of the pc! God what a bunch of ass!!! IDIOTAS !!!!

[Inediblehulk]

This worm has been spamming Onion video comment boxes all night from here! The PS3 is not immune.

[kidmongo1]

This used to happen to me. It's how I acquired Vincent Price's horror film catalog and random horror character figurines.  Oh and a real Freddy glove.

[dkinnibu]

Yes this is real. All of the onion is real. In fact, the other major news networks are afraid that the truth that the onion spreads will overshadow them. Thus, they dispatch internet trolls to try and tell viewers it is fake. Sheesh!

[MrBarns95]

what douche is flagging these vids

[JayCKat]

The 2am worm was developed by cracker named Alcohol. I believe the 4pm variant was developed by a group called "binge drinking"

[decoy00001]

......the golden girls?

[jannikmt]

the worm is makeing me do this.....

YOU ALL SUCK!!

YOU ALL SUCK!!

NERV GASS ROCKS!!!

TWILIGHT IS A GOOD BOOK THAT'S WORTH READING!!!!!!!

THE WORM ROCKS!!!!

EMO VAMPIERS AND GAY BOYS KISSING ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!

[the7thwreck]

@jannikmt YOU SUCK HARDER!......geez sorry, the worm made me comment

[MrJimmySegers]

seriously, LOL at people who believe this xD

[LilChuckyWoodenHead]

MY DOG HAD THAT WORM...HE KEPT MAKING STUPID PURCHASES ON MY PUTER ....SO I HAD TO CUT HIS PAWS OFF !

[adr58]

0:53 for barely a second you can see ''twilight box set'' xD

[MrNumberFour]

I knew it was a virus, I tried to tell my friends but they didn't believe me now i have PROOF.

[southernmatrix07]

to the 73 ppl who dislike this.........FUCK OFF!!!!!......ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY ONION NEWS NETWORK XD

[Yyyyzyyy]

Uhm, this news station must be really dumb if they think it is a computer worm doing this. It is most likely just the fact that the person is drunk that they go out and make these purchases online while in a drunken stupor. This is why I hate the news these days, they try to hype things up.

[DemiGodGnostical]

@Yyyyzyyy Dude, it's a joke. You're retarded.

[Gilthonion]

@Yyyyzyyy Wow, really... take a dictionary and look up the word "satire".

[bowlsallbroken]

@Yyyyzyyy

Ahahahahahahahaha

Yes, I'm laughing at you.

[Fleury292929]

@Yyyyzyyy wow you are very unintelligent.

[aghcantfindausername]

@Yyyyzyyy

ITS FAKE

you're the one that "must be really dumb" if you thought this was real.

[TheAdamWadd]

@Yyyyzyyy

...wow, you're a quick one aren't you?

[wrylie188]

@Yyyyzyyy this guy filled my lulzbuckets

[ALPHADESIGNTAMPICO]

@Yyyyzyyy Hahahaha Oh dude! You really made my day with your condescending comment! Hahaha you tried to look smart but the only thing you got was to look stupid! XD That's why they say “it is better to let people think you are stupid than to open your mouth and proove you are stupid" Also this should teach you a lesson, DON'T BE Fing CONDESCENDING WITH NO ONE! Be humble. Take care :D

[tarantulady]

@ALPHADESIGNTAMPICO Epic cokehead doesn't need coke to be epic cokehead. Mania-induced allcaps name garners respect. Further respect is earned with un-humble "be humble" comment. WOOO!

[Adamblue007]

So if u look up burrritos or fingerless gloves or sommink the worm will infect me?

[DuralastTurbo]

Good, but the guy W/the 'glove compartment' line runs out of breath, killing the joke =(

[DarkKnightBob1o1]

fingerless gloves LOL

[CliffM85]

I found episodes of The Angry Beavers and songs from the Grateful Dead on my Xbox 360. And when were they purchased? 3 AM. Not only that, the worm gave me a horrible headache in the morning.

[kives1985]

Totally Looked up Mia Sara's nude pics. She's got nice tits.

[IamAtree000001]

@kives1985 who's that?

[merlin2k6]

I think the worm derives its sustenance from alcoholic beverages. If we ban the sale of all alcohol then the worm should be eradicated.

[Ubanga33]

hahahahhaaa! The quip about sending the pic of the guy's balls ! hahahah

[DarkKnightBob1o1]

@Ubanga33 it has happened to me. AVG does not prevent this.

[mazinais31]

"overwhelmed Obama gets in Air Force One and just starts flying" hahaha appropriate

[Samlai123]

Umm could it be possible the people who own the computers are doing this?? i mean the man said "Someone" bought all these Japanese weapons "i saw in a movie last week". and plus he said "the last thing i remember was going to a bar for my friend's bachelor party". The Onion is soo freakin funny!

[moeba777]

@Samlai123 I feel like even though you got the joke.. you didnt get the joke.

[fonkymaster]

Trojans new Pleasure Condoms make women unnecessary! LOL

[master120344]

Why adds !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jwdogfst]

Marquee: "New technology allows Delta pilots to work from home." HA HA HA

[DragonSporks]

FTW: Investigation reveals U.S. Postal Service cuts costs by throwing 50% of mail into garbage

[ThaDane]

"China offers to eras debt if every american eats mud for 10 seconds."

the buttom line is fantastic.

haha "Meat industry study reveals pigs suffer intense loneliness when not pressed against 15 other pigs" XD

"More americans planning for zombie apocalypse than retirement"

"Happening now in Jacksonville, FL: Straight man foolishly entering conversation about gender studies"

"Taliban deploys 12,000 more troops to strengthen afghan destabilization efforts..."

[BushidoBrownSama]

amy chandran, hell yeah!

[funthings432]

wow!!!! It's a good thing I installed antivirus software. They talk so much of identity theft these days. I hope this worm gets stopped soon. I heard one case on Fox News where the worm supposedly eat all of the food in a woman's home before climbing back into the computer screen!!!

[rootvalue]

@funthings432 Your comment made me poop my pants.

[Srceodizno2142]

"experts warn the worm is wrecking havoc in europe, but there it stricks as early as 4 pm" that's soooo true. :)

[Ome99]

"white coloured stain on their keyboarrs", any ideas, LOL, XD.

[RickMerchantttt]

@Ome99 ...wine colored stains. *face/palm*

[mythified]

@Ome99 It's a variation of the same worm, but it steals your credit card to subscribe to porn sites.

[bboyhope545]

"breaking news: tom hanks admits he's hitler's grandson" lol. read the bottom text

[Phatency]

What, you don't drink at 4pm in the US? It's the bird catches the worm.

[SwedeIndeed2]

I'd rather have aids than buy anything from the commercial

[TheOverItFellow]

4pm!!! That's way too late! They've got it wrong! Still... where would we be without satire. If you are one of those doofusses (or is is it doofusi?), this is FAKE. The "2am worm" is people getting drunk. Just for you idiots who think this is as real as... real things. Though it is as credible as ITV news here & Fox News here.

[baseballhero777]

@zTheOnez I have tried that but somehow the worm turns my computer back on! It's like a horror movie! *shudders*

[zTheOnez]

As early as 4pm! LOL.

[spj18]

hmm try unplugging your computer when u go out works most times coz without power it can't work duhhhhhh

[motokid413]

Burrritos HAHAHAHHAHA LOLOLOLOLOLO

[faysalbest1]

1:37 ah ha ha ha ha

[MOZZWIGAN]

Someones Balls hahaha

[Iomrs]

Balls part ROTFLMFAO

[wynston05613]

LOL Best part <333

[EmperorOfMars]

I bought every anti virus program you can buy, but I just can't seem to get rid of this virus on my computer.

[hmmineedanamenow]

@EmperorOfMars Having multiple antivirus programs at once causes them to conflict with each other, slowing down your computer. Plus if you really bought a bunch of antiviruses that would cost tons of money. You would be better off buying a Windows Vista or Windows XP startup disk.

[TheT4xid3rmist]

@hmmineedanamenow Are you serious? Are you really serious? Please tell me your comment isn't serious. If it is, I'm going to throw my computer out the window.

[hmmineedanamenow]

@TheT4xid3rmist Well, it wasn't until you replied to my comment that I realized he was talking about the worm in this video lol. I feel stupid.

[TheT4xid3rmist]

@hmmineedanamenow All is forgiven. My computer will stay in my house now.

[hmmineedanamenow]

@TheT4xid3rmist Mine won't, I'm selling it :D

[GICTechTV]

@EmperorOfMars get a mac

[jclar8883343]

@EmperorOfMars poor retard

[EmperorOfMars]

@jclar8883343 derp

[xXPlagueDoctorXx]

@EmperorOfMars format your harddrive then.

[someguy459]

@xXPlagueDoctorXx

How on earth is that supposed to help?

[DaNNYDarKSlidE]

anybody know where to get those pix tho?

[spaecialxara]

@ 1:13 rofl !!

[qwertyuiopz123]

LOL AT THE EMAIL

[Jesse2605]

@Lamoir and now you let the whole world know how much of an idiot you are! :D hehehehe

[jedzkie]

Its onion, everything is fake.

[katantoon]

duh, because it is.

[RealKengeki]

@zelda0521 Your IQ is SO low.

[doldei]

no shit Einstein ...

[SPRSC15]

"I am drunk by that is not why I am saying this"

haha

[killa420herb]

this is genius!!!

[SuperGoodTV]

epic!!!! loool

[DAFTBONCHKOOPA]

yes!

[IJustMovedHere]

That motherfucker got me too, what the fuck am I supposed to do with this mail order bride now??!!

[mephesh]

A mate of mine was a victim a few months ago.  He bought a $1000 watch while drunk at 2am lmao

[tools747]

i was at work when i clicked this, i sprayed a customer with coffee riiiiight about .....here ===>"the worm sent my boss a picture of someone's balls for my address" 1:11

[tools747]

it sounds like he's laughing when he says i wouldnt do that lol

[peterelchepo]

wait, this is an effing joke, how can a virus leave whine stains in the keyboard?

[Zacsi]

@peterelchepo

its a joke sherlock

if you still dont get it heres a hint: people get drunk and do stupid shit while their drunk

[TeamMichigan112]

lol satire buddy

[Wedgehead123]

@peterelchepo It's Satire.

[Xizibit5]

@peterelchepo Don't you mean wine? As in the alcoholic drink. Unless you're one of the drunk people who's computer got hacked.

[MyTubeIsBetter20]

Ah yes, the infamous Jose Cuervo worm, i know it well.

[henkzawd]

"My professor has a PhD in getting wasted" hahah oh my.

[arandajose20]

that was bogus when they said it started at 4 pm in Europe.

[ILikeToMong]

It made me laugh and I'm from Europe