Maddox on Chuck Norris (a reading from alphabet of manliness

[BlueThunderFlik]

Is there a section of this missing? I'm sure I remember Chuck Norris having a black belt in judo, karate, ju-jitsu, pad Thai and a certificate of attendance from a national spelling bee.

[Necropedocoprophilia]

0:42

That brief clip after the sniper rifle shot was a real suicide.

Even YouTube won't take down Chuck Norris videos.

[THUNDERBALLZ73]

CHUCK NORRIS FOR PRESIDENT IN 2012

[genericusername1221]

omfg lmfao damn I can't stop laughing.

[Bigmanmike4]

Maddox is genius.

[op684]

I laughed so HARD holy crap

[wowdanalise]

I have nothing against Chick Norris. Even so, These jokes are overused and irritating. I do not like them.

[IamRay71]

32 people spontaenously combusted after disliking this video because Chuck has deemed it so.

[batlin]

Argh. One of the clips of headshots was a real one of a politician shooting himself in the mouth on live TV. Fuck, I didn't want to see that again :/

[ironmanalasdair]

@batlin

Is that at 0:35?

[Jsen111]

i had to leave the room to catch my breath i laughing so hard xD

[vectoranvil]

The bit about the throne sounds like Revelation :D

Maddox is a comic genius, "The Alphabet of Mannliness" is a great book.

[Kaisermage16]

4:05 - 4:25 is the funniest

[Kaisermage16]

He takes a Massive 2 Flush Mega-Shit

[BryChe87]

There are no dislikes for this video, only 31 people who have unintentionally committed suicide.

[partyboy9013]

chuck norris is a sellout little bitch. he wants us to pray in fucking schools and read the bible. only crying bitches who have no skill to solve their own problems think praying and reading a book will actually solve anything.

watch?v=1pnFg0Sp2Xw&feature=re­lated

[Trinexx360]

@partyboy9013

That's not selling out, it's religion. Selling out is Youtube, Rooster Teeth, Screw Attack, Newgrounds, and many many other sites having ads on their websites. Sure, Chuck Norris is overrated like Halo, but he's far from a sellout. I'm sure you think every religion is wrong and the fact that it is, is irrelevant. Focus your attention on money grubbing whores instead.

[stevorino0]

he had me from chuck norris eats rocks and shits lighting bolts

[AManofWit]

Respond to this video... Maddox is a comic genius. This is hilarious! Chuck Norris jokes are timeless!

[TheImpactKidd]

ha ha classic shit

[JacklusAllstars]

Bruce Lee. 

[hobogasm]

fuck chuck norris

[GorgeousGeorge0011]

29 people committed suicide by disliking this video, chuck norris made their heads explode the second they clicked they clicked dislike

[wifflum]

that was fuckin awesome

[Calixtus]

I can't hear what he is saying. So much for speaking in a manly voice.

[cooliovasquez]

you pronounced windy wrong

[WhenDarknessRises]

Fuckin' sweet

[steelfukksw]

Liked his ass when i was 14 no thAt was my X at 15,sorry error

[steelfukksw]

I 693 MADdx when @ 30!

[boritchka]

A small part of me can't believe I just watched this whole thing. Another part says STFU THIS SHIT IS AWESOME!

[NSPcrazYKABK112]

Maddox and Chuck pwn

[lordofthemanor25]

Then we have Jack Bauer, ultimate counter-terrorist agent.

[AngeLxHell]

Ugh. Reading it directly from the book was better. I don't like this voicing. Sounds much different in my head.

[antoncrowley615]

A few interesting footnotes I must add to this great video.

First thing Maddox; Karl Marx was born on May 5.

And the ultimate anti-american was born on March 10; Osama Bin Laden!

Besides that Maddox great writing. And Angrykirby get some more VIDEOS out there! Love your stuff dude!

[antoncrowley615]

Happy birthday Chuck!

[notmygeneration]

I read this whole book. FANTASTIC

[danpayne118]

hail maddox

[wfravel18]

Wow maddox you jumped on the chuck norris bandwaggon and filled your shitty book with a rambeling chuck story that sucked.

[who8mahbacon]

i bet a can of whoop-ass is filled with chucks anger

[Automobilie]

Good commentary, Chuck Norris would definitely slam your revolving door....

[Hellknight3d]

@Vurdox: You are lucky Chuck Norris is away from earth, currently destroying the evil alien planet of Vergon . I strongly advise you remove that message before Chuck Norris gets back to earth and reads your post. You have been warned.

[Vurdox]

Chuck Norris is a right wing retard who jumped on the bandwagon with the rest of the idiot GOP in saying that the public option was just another way for the government to control people and all that rhetoric.. Fuck norris

[zapstrung]

@Vurdox You have committed the one and only unforgivable sin, cursing the holy name of Chuck Norris. In great cultures, nobody is allowed to even utter the name Chuck Norris except in the dark privacy of the home. If you are still alive, it is only because Chuck wants you to live a depressing and unsatisfying life. Chuck is creating a real America to invade this decaying shell of America and will make the GOP the liberal party with himself chairing the true conservative party. Palin will weep.

[Chuichupachichi]

Chuck Norris wouldn't use Hippies as firewood because the neighbors can always smell it when you have your fireplace going & he doesn't want them to think he smokes weed. Hippie is just another word for Big, giant bomber joint. If anyone says Marijuana, they ask, "wanna what"? At least the ones named Mary do. I don't know about Summer Spring Autumn & Fall, other than that those are their children

[Chuichupachichi]

If Chuck Norris ate Rocks, he would fart the Roll and it would be music to your ears

After digesting for a while, he sits upon his throne and drops Liberals off at the pool, wipes his Democrat & gives it all a Royal Flush as he says good bye to all the Queenies & Princesses

He shits lightning only when he needs to fertilize his Kentucky Electric Bluegrass

That's why the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Cuz it's Chuck Norris' side of the fence

[Chuichupachichi]

Chuck Norris did indeed have a mother that gave birth to him. But when she was pregnant with him she had to get a license to carry a concealed weapon

You went to Chuck Norris' house on Halloween dressed as a pussy. When he answered the door you said "Trick or Treat"? He said, "I don't do hookers, go find a Trick elsewhere". Then before you left, he gave you candy by shoving a giant, red licorice all in you. As you were walking away he hollered, "stop trying to be a smooth criminal, looking like

[Chuichupachichi]

a street thug... grow some hair. And tie your shoestring, its dragging on the ground. But you had gone as a pregnant, barefoot, kitchen pussy that must have miscarriaged cuz you got your period again. Finally, he concluded by saying, "don't knock on the neighbors door... he's a Gynecologist & he's tired of looking at the sight of you all day. He doesn't want to see you at his home too"

To view some real Chuck Norris videos... simply pay the $500.00 entry fee at my Kung Fu Theater YTube channel

[chuckert]

Chuck Norris walked into a Burger King and ordered a Big Mac, and got one.

[thisisjessika]

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep- he waits. ;] Bwahaha.

[BorrahAlive]

"He spontainiously combusted him! = [

[Dmasterman]

Read more passages from the alphabet of manliness

[thewackyretard]

The best book...EVER.

[lordzach6]

funniest book I have ever read

[manly833]

for now on i shall write my x-mas list on two ply paper.

im proud that he wipes his ass with something i have touched :D

[wlmmn]

WOAH.............at 0:43, you actually showed the Budd Dwyer suicide footage. Good luck keeping that on Youtube, man.

[wxstatic]

The presence of Chuck Norris warmed God's heart and He has forgiven Budd for suicide.

[mwikd55]

bullets dodge chuck noris

[SireAzmodan]

Here is a list of Chuck Norris' favorite foods:

Whiskey

Lmfao, fucking priceless

[krodog24]

It's amazing! After seeing this i now know how cool Chuck Norris is. I just hope I can pry toothbeaver off Chuck's piebuster long enough to have a chance to talk to him.

[Schabziger]

Did you not hear the words of the Great Prophet, regarding the Almighty Chuck Norris? "No one is allowed to speak with Chuck! The ONLY thing you are allowed to do in his presence is bow, kiss his ring, BOW AGAIN, and *LEAVE*!!!"

Heretic.

[jethrowomber]

chuck noris sucks my ass hes sucks almost as much as that retarded seigal dude now that dude really sucks goddamn i hate these stupid ass people

i dont care if you like chuck but god overfuckingrated

[Maphistoq]

Dude learn something about internet humour or get the fuck of, of it XD

[CostcoPizza1]

lol. The point of loving Chuck Norris is how comical it is, and how ridiculous some of his movies and Walker, Texas Ranger are. Just appreciate Chuck for being a badass, and get over yourself.

[JudasCrusader]

chuck norris once fucked his truck and that truck had a baby and you know what the babies name was? thats right..Optamis Prime

[dyz12003]

Or was it Truck Norris? That would be a cool Transformer.

[billcosby66662the2nd]

Fight Club!  0:38

[TmsT]

I always wondered why Santa never got my letter asking for a remote controlled hovercraft. :( Thanks, Chuck.

[toothbeaver]

Ah yes, chuck norris humor, so outstandingly cutting edge and relevant!

[toothbeaver]

Hey ass hat I can read this passage too, in the book I paid for. Imagine that, I managed to find my way out into the sun bleached world and seek out comical reading without resorting to youtube. Fuck you tube and all the lame ass vids they abort into the world. oh and this vid sucks my cock, y post a video of someone reading?! Oh cuz ur a choad.

[Engimal]

Becuase it's funny, dumbass.

[toothbeaver]

Yeah, i can c the hordes of folk who thought the same thing, oh wait, no I can't, and ur so fuckin cool, just thought id let you know. flame away tough guy.....then go kill yourself for being so gay

[Engimal]

OMG OWNED!!!1!

*facepalm*

[FoxUnitNell]

Chuck NorRis is more dangerous than a speeding locomotive train shot out of a gun from a very tall building.

[cyberdemon107]

eh

this was funnier before i hit puberty

[Warkst]

lol Chuck Norris doesn't give a shit about Macedonia xD

[AmpluexCompressa]

Laser discs = victory.

Also, your voice is fucking awesome.

[Xmaxify]

AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAA

[sirmolio]

lol 1:42 - 1:45 nice....... this shit is therapeutic for males worldwide

[sirmolio]

lol this is so fuckin funny.. i know i commented on this vid months ago.. lets just say it has great replay potential

[theapache]

rofl this was hilarious. the voice was great.

[Badwolf469]

that was awesome .

[bob3006]

this voice is excellent for this, makes it even better

[theretardvillage]

It's only funny when you read it from the book. Bitch...

[takerdust]

The book was disappointing, but I felt I owed it to Maddox for all hours entertaining free content I got out of his website.

[kgonepostl]

IT was hilarious and the beginning but defiantly fell off. I felt the same obligation

[jdorsalfindangerfish]

I guess I did not see what happened to Chuck Norris after Bruce Lee was stretching 2:21 right there because it ended at 2:24.

[tattypatty]

Chuck Norris' sperm cures cancer. Too bad he has AIDS...

[EddieTh3Ead]

No fuck, his tears cure cancer, he just never cries.

[sillyrnu007]

Your voice kicks ass. Like Chuck Norris.

[mirikam8]

Ha! Chuck Norris if interrupted during sex gets Red White and Blue balls.

[blodamozshk]

It wont let me embed this video :(

Oh well.

[jbrowsingj]

This is Alphabet of Manliness?

I hope to god this was released in the early 1990's.

Chuck Norris is cheap shitty humour.

LOL GET THE JOKE?

YOU NORMALLY CANT KILL EAT EXPLOSIVES

SILLY CHUCK LOLOL

[sirmolio]

you literary noob

[mastercheif259]

what movie is that at 0:34?

[jonboon81]

this video is poorly edited and a disgrace to the comedy genius that is maddox

[sirmolio]

Funny as hell.

But.. I don't get the 1:13 - 1:18 comparison.. who is the dude on the right????

[werwulf2009]

It's Vincent Van Gogh, you uneducated yutz.

Why did I bother? You're probably asking yourself "who the hell is Vincent Van Gogh"?

JSG

[sirmolio]

Thanks for the info dipshit

yes I remember now because we had to draw van gogh as part of my art history final (required core curriculum for any educated university student). I failed and had to retake the course cuz i didnt know his face :(

Thanks again dumbass

[werwulf2009]

You have art history at the local Retard School? Shit, I didn't know they taught that to retards these days.

Happy to oblige in growing your little stunted brain a wee tiny drap, Retard.

Cheerio, your Friend,

JSG

[sirmolio]

omg I thought my sarcasm would be over your head.. congrats on embarrassing yourself by not getting it

"stunted" and "drap" ? give it up. you aren't smart and never will be no matter how hard you try

and another hint: only losers sign their youtube comments with their initials

go ahead, reply to this and humiliate yourself even more

[JamieC419]

I like pie

[TheToastPeople]

i also like pie

[mirikam8]

me too. pie is good.

[psinept]

I too like pie.

[andyzegil]

I adore pie!

[psinept]

Dude we should so party man.

[chefawkes]

I'd go gay for pie.

[ninjast4r]

"Because Chuck Norris didn't want to give the Italians credit."

[CultSphere98]

what the shit does obama have to do with chuck norris ?

[d07a]

thanks now i dont have to buy the book!

[enlightndone]

No one will ever rise against the Chuck.

[Feuchtraumfanta]

Chuck Norris sucks Obama's black balls...because Obama is the new KING, and Chuck is reduced to nought.

[Bobcat1911]

Yeah, try again, idiot. Obama is just a result of people painting his legend with hyped journalism. For instance, the media gave Bush a hard time for a $40 million inauguration. They didn't even mention that Obama's cost over $100 million. "But no! He is our hero! We blindly follow him. He couldn't do anything wrong!...."

[Feuchtraumfanta]

this is the course of the New World Order, don't blame Obama for that. He is just a hard working man and idealist. The real powers that be cannot be dismissed.

[Bobcat1911]

You can beleive what you want, but you conspiracy theorists are also wrong. I've debated vountless days with yall. You've got some good ideas, but I don't beleive it. When something happens in completely normal fashoin according to political theory (I am a student of politics) you guys freak out, not understanding how the world is run. But everyone is free to beleive what they will. I may disagree with you, but you have a right to beleive freely and voice it.

[Schabziger]

"'I' before 'E', except after 'C'." - One of my grade school teachers

"Remember, use spell check and proof read before you finish. Spelling and grammar counts even more in the real world than it does here." - One of my High School teachers

"Try to avoid vague language or broad generalities. These don't help advance your point." - My teacher for College Debate

Have a nice day.

[enlightndone]

hahahahaha!! 4:06

[ihatebobsaget1989]

nabeel husein > chuck norris

[robblauer009]

Teddy Roosevelt > Chuck Norris

[Skarmale90]

eats a bowl of dynamite and takes a two flush mega shit

[AlistairIsCool]

Chuck Norris is a faggot.

[sirmolio]

so from what i remember from preschool psychology class that means you consider yourself a failure and a pedophile... thanks for the enlightening confession.

[ihatebobsaget1989]

actually my brother told me to type that. he came up with the idea. you have to admit though, it's true.

[blizzeki]

So not only are you not funny, but you can't think for yourself either?

[blizzeki]

@ihatebobsaget

[ihatebobsaget1989]

i myself know chuck norris is a fag who lot of those dumb nerdy type kids love. the type of kids you see playing runescape online. sorry but it is the truth.

[sirmolio]

so you've shown that my original reply (see above) applies to your brother as well as yourself, you should have stopped at "actually my brother typed it" .. guess its genetic. oh and btw, another thing from psych class is that little bros often admire their elder bros.. take my word, ur older bro is a gay faggot and its already infecting you, resist the temptation to suck his dick gayboy

[ihatebobsaget1989]

why cant you admit chuck norris fans are just lame geeks?

[flacidReece]

why can't you admit that you're a fag?

[ihatebobsaget1989]

you know i'm right.

[NathonSPhillips]

You're posting comments about Chuck Norris below a video about him and you're calling other people nerds? What the hell are you supposed to be? Some asshole who does what his brother tells him? Also, the last time you had sex was with a one armed prostitute named Steve, so you obviously suck.

[Deflun2]

Psych class' also say lots of stuff about people who randomly harass other people like that.

[sirmolio]

psych class also states how critical one should be in ascertaining who began the shit-talk in a given argument... doubt you will bother tho so include yourself among the asswipes i've righteously owned.. yawn

[Deflun2]

I have been owned over the internet... yawn

[sirmolio]

yes, a novel yet invigorating feeling to be sure... enjoy

[Deflun2]

It was more like..

"hmm, I can't come up with any nice comeback, w/e, I've gotta take a bath"

[steveownseverything]

Baths are for pussies.

[Deflun2]

That's why I was taking a bath with one.

[sirmolio]

virgin.

[twentyfists]

"Chuck Norris eats rocks and shits lightning bolts."

[sirmolio]

oh and AWESOME video sequences too.. you truly captured that unique maddox blend of hilarious and badass

[sirmolio]

omg that was AWESOME.. lol..

HUGE maddox fan since i discovered his page in 98 or 99 who gives a fuck

nice reading dude

[sirmolio]

0:49-0:52 LMAO........

[darkleaves]

I am surprised Maddox did not say if you don't know who chuck norris is you are either gay, a pussy, a terrorist pussy, an un -patriotic son of a whore, a jock who does not understand technical asskicking, a piece of shit, a goth, a person who wipes his ass only to see his reflection in the toilet paper, one of shirley phelps bastard son, an asshole, a waist of time, a person who is angry at himself because they know they are worthless but can't do nothing about it... that kinda stuff

[sevenstoriefire2]

after you geniuses get done competing over most hilarious chuck norris jokes, you should see who can whipe your asses the fastest

[schnichaels]

No contest. That title belongs to me, but only because Chuck Norris allows it.

[ihatebobsaget1989]

chuck norris is a faggot and only nerd love him.

[korndoggz]

you better watch out from now on...

[tindytim]

It's Chuck Norris

He's testing us.

[ieatfood69]

Careful what you say, Chuck Norris hears all.

[ihatebobsaget1989]

like i said, nerds defending him.

[mirikam8]

That was fuckin' hilarious.

Thanks for the upload.

[Aardvarked88]

I'm kind of surprised Maddox was part of the Chuck Norris nerdfest craze, what a tool.

[Nordey226]

Maddox is the funniest son of a bitch I've ever heard.

He should be accepted into the hall of fame for funny shit.

[MotherofGodeatbabies]

Chuck Norris stepped in a puddle once. Chuck Norris didn't get wet.

The puddle got Chuck Norris

[darkleaves]

chuck norris trained the spartans

chuck norris made jason vorhees talked

chuck norris round house kicked the demon out of the exorcist girl

[nikoliberty13]

chuck norris stopped a heart attck by saying no

[shawnmcghee1]

Chuck Norris shits tank parts, pisses jet fuel, and ejaculates plutonium.

Chuck Norris once are-wrestled Jesus and let him win.

Chuck Norris doesn't use doors. He just rips the building inside-out.

Chuck Norris goes around straightening spoons originally bent by Uri Geller.

Chuck Norris once ate a third-world country.

Chuck Norris has an adamantium skelleton.

Chuck Norris once created a wormhole into a parallel universe by kicking the fabric of spacetime.

[MeneerTiki]

Amen! All hail Chuck!

[emonick88]

chuck norris grinds his coffee with his teeth then boils the water with his own rage

[fugi60]

Once again I hope that you do grow up eventully. Your knowledge of the Bible is minimal at best and I doubt you know anything about what you deny. Just because I'm Christian doesn't mean I'm dumb. Because I know other words to put in sentences besides every other word out of my mouth being a curse word that makes me dumb? Just because it makes you feel better to act all tough means noting. Trying to be "cool" on the internet wont change reality and insulting me will, without a doubt, do nothing.

[fugi60]

It's quite sad to see someone like you agent. I hope you'r a child because if not I am very worried about you. There seems to be a lot of growing up you need to do. Maybe someday you will look back on how you act. Until then God bless you Agent0range0.

[fugi60]

Agent0range0,

Just because you don't think Chuck Norris jokes are funny doesn't mean you have to come on here and act like a jerk. Also just because he is a Christian doesn't mean he ruins parties. Christian people know how to have a perfectly fine time. I go to parties and I dont ruin them. Maybe you should think before you open your mouth and let more trash come out.

Fugi

[MrCrowley993]

Chuck Norris copy and pastes Chuck Norris jokes form Encyclopedia dramatica

[synthesized]

OMFG FAKE

[Mutough]

Chuck Norris' sperm count isn't measured in cells, but legions.

[vegantree]

When Bruce Banner get mad he turns into the Hulk. When Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris.

[Rummy44]

CHUK NORRIS XDDDDDD DIS IS SOO FUNNY I US TO HER DESE JOKES IN 2005 OLOLOLOLOLOL xDDD CHUCK NORRIS with SPORKZ ROFLRANDOMMXDDD

IT ONCE SAID CHUCK NORRIS PUT HIS DICK IN A SPORK AND MADE AUSTRAILIA CRASH INTO PLUTO ROUNDHOUSE PENIS KICK LOLOL BONERZZZ.

[stillrages]

are you fucking retarted?