this is one of the most brilliant stand up routines ever. From beginning to end I have to give her credit. Once my son and I both woke up at 3am for no real reason and we watched this. It's a good memory. We were crying laughing. We still quote this to this day. "oh really you have to go to work early? BYYYY Mennon!"
James Robinson, the Mount Cashel's orphelina Christian Brothers and Roger Vangheluwe were all catholic priests who were against homosexuality but were accused of pedophiles act. If you want a more recent one, last march there were 21 priests who were arrested for pedophilia in the USA.
I am not an atheist and not a satanist. I believe that every religion has to be treated equally. There is no supreme religion. They're all different. The thing is, I hate when a religion is used to bash on someone or to critizise something. It's just wrong and abusive. As for pedophile/gay priests, in 2004, there was over 10 000 cases of reported victims under 19 years old, 80% of them male
@ScreamTilUFeelIt That isn't the answer I asked for. I asked for CURRENTLY PRACTICING homosexual Catholic priests. That was in 2004. How many of them were CATHOLIC, even? And those priests won't be practicing now.
Maybe it's idealism (a wonderful thing) that will never allow everyone to agree on everything. If we were all 'nice' and 'agreeable', we'd all be stupid, too. We argue about this. Again, it all comes down to BOUNDARIES because yes, marrying a goat is a step after being gay.
What are you all, anyway? Atheists, agnostics? Satanists? My so-called God is God. That's my faith. So you can go screw yourself, or we can keep at this, but it isn't getting productive.
If your so-called story is true, I'm fairly certain those priests aren't practicing Catholics anymore, hmm? And tell me, where in your sources can you give me ONE EXAMPLE of an openly gay, currently practicing Catholic priest?
Listen, I know that you're probably a strong believer and it's great. But the catholic Church is VERY hypocrite. They say that they are against homosexuality or abortion, but I know a lot of catholic priests that have commited pedophile gestures and often towards their own sex. So to sum it up, STFU.
@ScreamTilUFeelIt You're wrong. Catholic priests are absolutely not permitted in Catholicism. If they're practicing and they're gay in secret, then their quarrel is with their conscience and with God, because there is Zero Tolerance for gays, ACTING UPON THEIR SEXUALITY. I don't care who's gay and who isn't, but the Catholic law permits no gay ACTIVITY. No acting upon it.
I should drop this reply right now. Because you aren't only quarreling with me now. The Catholic Church is GOD'S LAW.
Ellen, I love your humor. But marriage is a holy covenant, between a MAN and WOMAN, a covenant with God and only Him. Gay-ism just doesn't make sense. Both psychologically and physically. It's not right. It defiles the Bible. Gays weep and cry and throw little pity parties to whine over their oh-so-sad lives...and they think that WE think that they're weird!
Just. Don't Defile. The Good Book. Cause that's what you're doing, Ellen.
@PenguinPownage Oh, so you're a liberal, too. Socialist, communist, nice guy, gay supporter. Good. If you all just up and died one day, who would there be for us to look down on and laugh at for your stupidity? Whose mistakes would we learn from?
To you all that voted down my comment, I've got some philosophy for you. I know what it's like to be RIGHT. Because you who oppress free speech, it's because you're either admittedly wrong, afraid to admit your weakness, or too stupid to see it.
@Ruffian123Forever So, assuming that you're infallible, explain why the hell your "comment has received too many negative votes." Could it be, that you've got your head (or bra) too far up your ass to see when you're being pathetic? We don't oppress free speech. In fact, we use it to point out that you're just wrong. Nothing personal. Everyone's wrong at some point. Just admit it and move on. Or just shut the fuck up. That's also a choice. And I bet you're not going to do either of those, eh?
@Lenora1854 No, because it's my opinion. I can do whatever in the h*ll I want with my opinion. And guess what? I'll do what I know is right, not what some retard like you tells me is right. Because I'm my own person and I'm not some liberal robot moron. I used to be liberal, mindless like you. But liberalism is a mental disorder. It explains why you're probably not even on the same page with me. I'm a God fearing Catholic. Are you?
I breathe air, I speak, I listen. I'll not be swayed.
@Ruffian123Forever And... I was right, you didn't shut the fuck up. My, you are an awfully funny person. And no, I don't "fear god"... but, apparently, I do have a mental disorder. Hmmm...
Don't mind the trolls, fellow youtubers, just enjoy Ellen.
@Lenora1854 Wow. You think I'm a moron, don't you? You like to gang up on me, don't you? Go home, tell your liberal friends you ganged up on one youtuber. And why don't you go ahead and tell them you lost? Because when you resort to doing all you can to shut me up, it's because you can't stand up to me. And yes, you just played right into my words.
Liberalism is a mental disorder.
Remember I said that when your tiny, enclosed, screwy little liberal world caves in. You're the troll here.
@Ruffian123Forever To the first statement: Yes I most definately do. To the rest of your incoherent babble: *has a laughing fit* * wipes away tears* ah, you are hilarious! Really, honey, you could take Glenn Beck's job as village idiot on Faux News.
Yeah, but I totally just "lost"... my ability to read this with a deadpan expression! *rofl*
You're right. I'm being a troll by bothering to respond to this. But it's sooo amusing! I'll stop now. Feel free to respond idiotically and savagely! :)
Why are there so many idiots in this world? You obviously aren't worth me wasting any more time, so maybe I'll look for someone I can have an INTELLIGENT conversation with.
@Ruffian123Forever I'm so glad she got married and I'm really glad to know how little others value your pathetic words. Primitive, close-minded people like you are a total joke to humanity. Everything in your comment about being gay was just flat out wrong. You obviously don't understand homosexuality AT ALL and that's probably because you've never TRIED to understand. Talk to different ppl, read a few books that aren't the bible.
@gencas437 And why would I need any book OTHER than God's law? Are you an atheist, a hater yourself? The only book I ever need to read is God's Bible, because I'm talking about the whole of Christianity, Catholicism, however. This is my belief, my faith. God is the only thing I need in my life. Sure I read all kinds of books. You failed to know that I've read more books in my years than you probably have all your life.
I'm actually finding you to be a joke. And I'm a very open person.
@Ruffian123Forever Contd...Furthermore, marriage is a bond- a true commitment between two people who love each other. It's also mandatory for legal purposes in regards to any life partner. It allows one person to make decisions while the person he or she loves is in the hospital and allows that person to at least SEE the patient in severe circumstances. Death benefits concerning burial etc, and then minor tax benefits, foster care rights, and adoption. It doesn't just belong to one religion.
Marriage is God's covenant, a bond between a man and a woman. We were made for marriage, a man and a woman. It is GOD's covenant. HE made the rules! He wrote the Book. There's no gray area, only black and white. But you sodomists, you are the haters. Real intellectuals laugh at you.
Marriage Defined--the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.
@Ruffian123Forever If marriage only belongs to Christians then why only fight gay marriage? Why don't you all fight marriage between Atheists, Agnostics, Muslims, Wiccans etc? That legal definition is part of the fight. Those with REAL open minds and REAL open hearts are going to get the government to change that definition and accept same sex couples. WHEN that happens will you then turn against the FREE ppl of America and demand that only Christians can marry? The world is NOT black and white.
@gencas437 You completely twisted my words. WHEN in that post did I EVER say marriage is ONLY for Christians? I said marriage is a covenant created by God. It is for all people to enjoy, men AND women. Where did you pull all this cr*p out of? Your *ss? I'm a free person, I have free speech. Not ONCE did I say I was a liberal communist like yourself. Same sex marriage defies God's law. Anymore, I don't care if gays get together--just don't call it MARRIAGE!
@Ruffian123Forever umm... no...I pulled it out of YOUR comment. You said that it is God's covenant!! In fact you put GOD in caps once! If it belongs to GOD as you say it does then it belongs to Christians since they are the ones who believe in God and he supposedly created this covenant despite the fact that people were getting married long before Christianity.
@gencas437 Marriage is a defined term in any dictionary. But only true marriage is as God teaches us--between one man and one woman. Adam and Eve, all right?
And that is my belief.
So if you don't like it, go and whine to O-bummer about it. Maybe he'll be sorry for Ellen, too. And for your pitiful little self. And for all the rest of the world, huh?
@Ruffian123Forever No, it's true, I'm not a Christian anymore. If there was once a God though he still didn't write that book himself. Hell, it wasn't even written by one man. You don't think a couple things in there might have been a bit liberally interpreted? And me pitiful? No, it is I who pity you. You are so much more closed to the ppl around you than you claim. Doesn't matter though. The fundamentalist Christians are outmatched. Our victory in this battle is as inevitable as change itself.
@gencas437 You d*mn liberal. You are a sodomist! When hell, fire and damnation run havoc on this earth, you'll be setting the torches afire. And that's the most awful thing for me to grasp.
My final touch on this matter: by God's hand, holy men wrote the Holy Bible.
You don't realize how open-minded I am--I'm actually a very nice person. But screw with my faith, my religion, my beliefs and what I KNOW TO BE RIGHT, you screw with everything I stand for. And before God, I forgive you.
@Ruffian123Forever Lol Gee, thanks. Now for the real kicker ;) I am not gay. Hell, I'm even a virgin (don't expect you to believe that, but I'm proud of it) I'm not even very liberal. I just believe in freedom of love and marriage. Sort of a bohemian dream lol. I will stand for my friends and my family with a true open heart. I will also suggest that you take a look at your comments on this video alone and then remember your own Romans 2:1. Looks like you're the one in need of forgiving. ;)
@gencas437 What was the meaning of your last comment in the post you made previous to mine? 'Our victory in this battle is as inevitable...' Who in the h*ll is 'we' that you're talking about?
I applaud you for being a virgin, because you still have some moral standing. What religion are you, then? Because I believe in love, expression, and marriage as well. I would do the same as you, and I HAVE my penance straight with God.
And back to the point: GAY MARRIAGE IS STILL NOT TRUE MARRIAGE.
@gencas437 So, you have morals. I still don't know if you're atheist, agnostic, or what?
I don't need forgiveness--I have my standards straight with God. I'd do the same as you--stand up for my beliefs. Apparently, though, we just have very different views of how to express ourselves and where the BOUNDARY falls.
@Gleekedgal God never stops loving any of us. Not even Ellen. Not you or me. But he does ask we follow him and listen to our morals and while some people believe otherwise, I strongly believe the practice of homosexuality is a choice and in itself, a sin. But like any other sin, we can truly repnt it and God will forgive.
@Ruffian123Forever lol It's no choice, I'm not a homosexual! But I do believe you can't choose who you love! And loving someone isn't a sin, it's just loving someone. Do you think homosexuals choose to be hated by many people?
@Gleekedgal So you don't get to choose what man you pick? It's just 'soul finding'? Come on. You don't get to pick between guy A and B? Yes you do. Everyone has a choice. Yet Ellen chose to discard moral laws. Not saying she's some evil seed of Satan, but she chose to discard God's laws or marriage because marriage is the term coined by God. So Ellen can't go overstepping into his territory. Actually, she could, because society wants us all to be gay and childless. Despicable liberals.
@Ruffian123Forever Most likely you choose guy A because you like his traits; but you can't change for example what traits you like, for example gender. The moral laws is that everyone should be treated equal, and right now homosexuals are not being treated fairly. Come on, don't be those stupid homophobes! The world is changing for the better, you should change with it. Gay Marriage FTW!
@Gleekedgal My argument isn't about FEARING gays. It's about how WRONG HOMOSEXUALITY IS. Love is wonderful, but do you HONESTLY THINK GOD INTENDED HOMOSEXUALITY TO BE GIVEN THE DEGREE OF MARRIAGE WE HAVE? God said a MAN and a WOMAN shall make a covenant. No gays! Homosexuality is our perverted society on the rise and how FAMILY is being DESTROYED. How often do you see a family like mine? Ten kids?
Gays can't reproduce. Don't even start on them adpting kids to put them through THAT torture.
@Ruffian123Forever Yes, God treats everyone equal, surely he thought about that. Since he created them, then can't complain that they want equality. Homosexuality isn't wrong, are you arguing with God that one of his creations is wrong?
@Gleekedgal God created free will. So we could choose right from wrong. You have the erred way of believing God ONLY created good so we can just do whatever we want in life. Wrong. We need to CHOOSE not to sin.
Does no one see homosexuality is disgusting? A man and a man, a woman and a woman? It's so F***ING SICK! And YOU think it's fine to raise a CHILD in that environment? You are so selfish! How would you like it if you had that growing up? I would HATE my moms or dads.
@Ruffian123Forever I know that God created free will, I don't believe that God only created the good, and I don't believe that we can do whatever we want. But same sex marriage is not wrong at all. It's not disgusting, and it's not selfish. I don't know how I would like it, but you can deny love or marriage! They want to be treated equally, to deny that is SO SICK AND DISGUSTING!!! I WOULD HATE PEOPLE LIKE YOU!!! I actually do...but yea! SAME SEX MARRIAGE FTW!!!! YOU'RE GONNA LOSE ANYWAYS!
@Ruffian123Forever Can't believe you have the nerves to say that same sex marriage is disgusting, if you look at yourself in the mirror, it will surely crack! I shouldn't talk to a disgusting human being like you! Hope you find out soon that the world is going to change and you will be left behind! I AM SO FOR SAME SEX MARRIAGE!!! SCREW YOU!!
Listen, I can't help it if you'd rather be screwed over -quite literally- by the whole gay community. But never in my life will I or any other sensical man or woman or adopted child raised in a gay home believe homosexuality is right. I will never submit to being pressed into your erred ways and I can tell you so in a very eloquent and simple way, so someone like you who can't come up with an intelligent insult can certainly understand.
@krystlerita Liberal alert, liberal alert! Ridicule at your own risk, they always like to gang up on you!
Ah, not like I can't handle you, too. You think I like doing this? No. It's frustrating seeing so many confused, stupid people who actually listen to people like Ellen and their 'rational thinking' which in fact, is the same rational thinking that is making/has made America the laughingstock of the world.
Scorn me for being realistic. For trying to see through the liberal smokescreen.
@Ruffian123Forever being called a liberal is the best compliment an american can get. Liberalism is what makes america so great....being liberal means you are for freedom and equality. If you hate freedom so much you should move to the middle east where its nothing but conservative bondage run by religious nut jobs. God doesnt exist, stop trying to use your imaginary friend as in excuse to hate others and just admit your homophobia, you fear homosexuality, work it out in therapy.
Liberalism is what acquainted us so well with Middle Eastern radicals. YOU who defended the radicals, YOU who still force us to buy oil from Middle Eastern suppliers instead of drilling on our own land, YOU who sided with Bin Laden supporters, Islam radicals, and went to war with Libya. YOU who inflated the dollar. YOU who want equaity for atheists, mexicans, muslims, while you burn the Christian cross. YOU are the anti-Americans.
@Ruffian123Forever When has any liberal defended religious radicals? Liberals HATE religion because it is anti freedom. This is a new day and a new country, more and more people are waking up and turning to atheism.. or sanity as we refer to it. Also liberals hate oil.. lol. Liberals want to stop using oil and find cleaner fuel. It took a liberal to find and kill bin laden. Dont recall ever burning crosses either...lol definitely look into that therapy, you are living in a fantasy world.
@YourLoveLetter It isn't funny, you know...if you were the one truly awake here you wouldn't be laughing.
See, here your theories fail you. You crucify us who believe in God, but you stick up for radicalists who want equality. YOU PUT A MUSLIM IN PRESIDENTIAL OFFICE. Must I spell it out?! Do I need to find the news reports that proved Obama, when he sided with the citizens rioting in Libya and/or Egypt, that the majority of those citizens were bin Laden supporters?
@Ruffian123Forever Obama isnt a muslim...hes a christian. It doesnt matter what he is though, all religions are equal, equally evil and moronic. All religions cause terrorism and war, nothing good has ever come out of believing in imaginary beings. Christians are domestic terrorists in america, they are criminals, scam artists, and child molesters. Christians are willing to murder those who dont agree with them, they are willing to bomb medical centers, fly planes into buildings etc.
@YourLoveLetter Obama is Muslim. Radical Muslims fly planes into buildings. There are those in every religion. But again you accuse Christians when Muslims do those things! CHRISTIANS DON'T SLAUGHTER PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE WITH THEM, but those same Muslims you stick up for DO!
YOUR PRESIDENT is not real. YOUR president isn't worth scum on my shoes.
I could debate you on the point you missed in this argument about how atheism itself is a religion. But I can't type much in 500 characters.
@Ruffian123Forever Radical christians also fly planes into buildings. Muslims and christians are the SAME, they do bad things and hurt people for an imaginary person. Christians are willing to kill doctors, politicians and children, the norway massacre/bombing recently was done by a conservative christian radical. Atheism isnt a religion, try using a dictionary. If obama isnt a christian than neither are you lol. He goes to christian churches. I voted for hillary clinton in the primary.
@YourLoveLetter YOU need to reread those 'facts'. Christians don't believe in KILLING OVER RELIGIOUS DISPUTES. WE ARE NOT THE SAME AS MUSLIMS, I don't know where you're pulling this from! Obviously your *ss; none of it is true or sensical! You know nothing of my religion. The core value of Christianity is love.
In every crowd, there are radicals like I said. I don't deny Norway. But because the freak did what he did doesn't condemn all Christians!
@Arneilla Any person can choose to do good or bad things. But it all traces back to your core values; I'm not trying to convert, but I'm defending my religion of choice. I'm saying that yes, there are fanatics! In every religion; we can't forget Norway, nor can we forget the Twin Towers. But all I ask is that we look back at our own values and determine what i really is that drives us to do this, this, and that.
@Ruffian123Forever Isn't it one of the greatest sins to judge people in God's name? Our priest once told us: "If God didn't want homosexuals to exist, He wouldn't have created them. We are all created in His image." The only thing Jesus wished for on Earth was for us to get along and to share our love - so why would our merciful Lord be against two people loving each other? I don't understand it, but I'm lucky to be part of a congregation that is not based on hate toward any of God's children.
@fablecio Ah, the medieval dark days when the church could not be questioned. Crusades were instigated by the Pope at the time, but they were fought against by Muslims and heretics battles between religions. It's no different today. HOWEVER. That was not done just to go out and kill people; you must understand that. The intent was to recapture Jerusalem, part of the Promised Land, a holy city to us then and today. So that wasn't unprovoked, that was 'an eye for an eye'.
@AsheeshAnand No, they don't 'all' kill in he name of God. It differs from religion to religion, depending on how the religion is taught and each person interprets it.
Just because these fanatics kill in the name of their God, doesn't make it right. You have to look back at the lessons taught in each religon, to see what's really true.
@Ruffian123Forever But it's not as if Christianity is the only religion that advocates love as a major principal. Islam also advocates love. So does Judeaism. You can put it down to fanaticism, but the violence committed in the name of Christ are as much, if not more than, what has been done in the name of Islam.
@AsheeshAnand No, you really need to look at history. Who was it who birthed Sadaam Hussein? Who was it who created Al-Qaeda? Who was it who tried to destroy thw twin towers twice, and succeeded once? What religion has been at the center of inciting one of the longest, most violent feudal periods in modern history between nations?
@Ruffian123Forever I was going to say the same thing to you about looking at history. The burning of witches for almost an entire millenium is a stain on Christianity which will never wash away. You said yourself, it depends on how the religion is taught, and interpreted. Sadaam Hussein is not an emblematic example of Islam. He was a fanatic. Most of what is practiced by Al-Qaeda is in direct violation of the Qur'aan.
@AsheeshAnand Congratulations, you JUST reached my point. Is Islam a religion entirely of fanatics? No. There are fanatics in any religion. Witch hunts were 500 years ago. In case you didn't notice, the Church has changed since. We can go on finding fault in ancient religion all day long, but we need to accept that 10 years ago, it was Al-Qaeda who killed thousands and has driven the War On Terror since its inception.
I'm defending Christianity, so here's your question: what year is today?
@Ruffian123Forever According to the solar, or lunar calendar? I'm afraid, as far as I'm concerned, there's no taksies backsies, when it comes to the witch hunts. I have trouble seeing Christianity as a loving religion when they cheated me of the opportunity to become a pagan, by wiping them out. If you ask me, Christianity has another five hundred years to go, to atone. I don't know if Christians have become more loving than five hundred years ago, but they're just as meddlesome as ever.
@AsheeshAnand August 28, 2011. The date. Starting in 0 AD, we count up from the birth of Christ. Why? Because people back then had to base time on something. 1/3 of today's population are Christian, half of those are Catholic. Explain that.
Did I say we could take things back? I didn't. Open your ears and listen to what people say; you'll find yourself enlightened. However, as far as I'M concerned, the one group whose members haven't seemed to learn from their mishaps would be Muslims.
@Gracie2136 I had to keep it short because there is a character limit. What I was saying was, hes a christian because he goes to a christian church, he proclaims himself as a christian, and he believes in jesus and his teachings...therefore hes a christian. People still say he isn't, which I just find hilarious, if that doesnt make him a christian then nobody is.. until they prove they are, beyond the things mentioned.
@Gracie2136 I wasn't saying that he wasn't christian cuz i wouldn't know, i'm just saying that going to a christian church doesn't make someone a christian, cuz i know a crap load of people who go and are sure as hell not.
@Ruffian123Forever Contd... 99% of this argument is based on religion. Problem is, this is a free country. Not everyone shares your religious views or your views on marriage and since not all Americans are bound to GOD's law as you perceive it then they should be free to do as they please. Separation of church and state. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe atheism and paganism is also against GOD's law, so if you're ok with God's covenant being forsaken by non believers then why not gays?
@gencas437 Yes they are. But you probably aren't Catholic. Or even Christian, so what would you know about it? All of these things are things that go against God's laws. But the thing that even started this whole entire argument was that ELLEN brought religion into it. She said we can't SPEAK for God and say homosexuality isn't cool. But it says it in the Bible.
And you obviously aren't Christian because you believe God's law is only for us. But you don't understand--it's for everyone.
"A picture of Jesus on the beach with a t-shirt that says 'my parents created the universe and all i got was this lousy t-shirt' " :D LMAO, she is just too funny!
People DO marry animals. A 9-year-old girl married a dog. Someone also married a goat. There was a cow and horse in there, somewhere, too. Seriously; Look it up.
@maezawi Actually, look at all the stand-up comedians out there and you'll see that EVERY SINGLE ONE talks mostly about sex. That's what approximately 80% of stand up comedy is nowadays. Ellen is one of the few genuinely funny people left who bases the majority of her content on appropriate material. Put yourself in someone else's shoes before you judge them. You'd be pretty damn pissed if someone else declared that you should be stoned until death.
@hudeet1219 I agree. & she talks about WAY more than sex. People would KNOW that if they bothered to watch the other 5 parts of this video. Then they would also laugh their ass OFF! Why is this maezawi person even watching this!!!? If they aren't a fan of her stand up or GAY then he/she makes me VERY suspicious as to why they even CARE? lmfao!!! Someone's QUESSSTIONING!!!! Ahahahaha! lol. I had to make a joke about it. I love being a comedian. Then you can fuck with people who are mad!!! lol XD
Go and stone your narrow mind with your Shariah Law cause you don't how to love and you don't believe in Science . Science says that homosexuality is natural ... It is caused by hormone . Do you choose to be straight ? Oh Dear .. God bless you ... Change your mind and love !!!
I love the "people who videotape thier sex" reference. It's funny because this is from 2000. WAY before every one and thier uncle had a sextape out...
@butterfly43215 LMAO, I dunno, but earlier she's like, the girl doesn't know what to do about the bra in the ass so she's like, "I'll get the manager...I don't know what to do about the bra in the ass!" LOL
i think ellen is a very funny person. but i didnt like that she was talking about God that way. It's offensive
lerigsby96 1 week ago
@lerigsby96 Oh, please. Get over yourself.
advancedplacement1 6 days ago
@advancedplacement1 Im loving God and standing proud of it. Have a great day and God Bless!
lerigsby96 6 days ago
@lerigsby96 "God bless"? THAT'S offensive to people who don't believe in [your] God.
MysticalFlyingMonkey 2 days ago
@MysticalFlyingMonkeyi just want people to know that God saved my life and can do the same for them :)
lerigsby96 1 day ago
@lerigsby96 Aww, your delusions are cute.
MysticalFlyingMonkey 1 day ago
"my parents created the universe and all I got was this lousy tshirt" haha
izzyrox2000 1 month ago 4
A lot of energy, a lot of energy, a lot of energy. Look at my face, nothing going on...
gris126 1 month ago 2
39 people are married to a goat
MikeyCee2013 1 month ago 6
im gonna walk awayyy...AND THATS MY ASS
ILoveDeRossi 2 months ago
Mah ass looks FAB-U-LOUS!! Oh My God, i cant breath im laughing so hard!!
Velocity98 2 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever dude, you are so ignorant. All you are doing is making a fool of yourself. You need to stfu and get a life.
MelaniePennington17 3 months ago
She said God was a black woman because most people categorize God as a white man.
MelaniePennington17 3 months ago 2
Is the fact that God is female symbolic of something, or does it mean anything?
ImBeautifullyTragicx 3 months ago
Don't worry Ellen, you'll end up with someone MUCH hotter than a goat.
OCswimKim3 3 months ago
"These people scare me and they think we're weird!" LOLOL!!
HugrunL95 4 months ago 3
THAT ONE LADY IN THE AUDIENCE IS LAUGHING HER ASS OFF. ANYONE ELSE HEAR HER AFTER EVERY JOKE ELLEN SAY.
mzsexychiquita 4 months ago 12
@mzsexychiquita THE ONE WITH THE WITCHES CACKLE LLF
forevermorezanessa 4 months ago
@mzsexychiquita omg i have heard her before and thought no one noticed hahaha her laugh makes me laugh :p
arabprincessss 3 months ago
35 people have sex by themselves :D
Silvanfan 4 months ago
this is one of the most brilliant stand up routines ever. From beginning to end I have to give her credit. Once my son and I both woke up at 3am for no real reason and we watched this. It's a good memory. We were crying laughing. We still quote this to this day. "oh really you have to go to work early? BYYYY Mennon!"
1UPwrangler 4 months ago
Sadly, there are actually people who HAVE married animals. not caused by gay marriage though.
Eragonvsharry 4 months ago
"We don't make the ass face when we're at home naked looking at ourselves. Totally different face then..." LOL! Exactly...
Prittyphile 4 months ago 2
Check out her God skit from the 80s. Search Ellen standup on YouTube it's her first tv appearance
justinlovespastry 6 months ago
i Tried to drink a Juice but with the first sentance i knew it wasn't going to work there was to much laughing involved :D
No6624 6 months ago
سبحان الله عما يشركون
hemyanable 6 months ago
"Whats that? Whats happening right there? Huh? I'll tell ya', Nothing!"
LMFAO, Ellen you legend.
RobzFanpire 6 months ago
Whats going on there?..ill tell ya..nothing.
zaqsway 7 months ago 3
SAME SEX MARRIAGE FTW!!! ALL THE WAY!!!! SCREW RUFFIAN123FOREVER AND HIS/HER/IT'S LECTURE ABOUT SAME SEX MARRIAGE BEING WRONG!!
Gleekedgal 7 months ago
"I'm gonna walk awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay and that's my ass!" LOLOLOL
HannibalMiddaugh 8 months ago 87
I don't wanna marry a Goat! JAJAJAJJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJ
FerxhGarxa 8 months ago 6
Why does the internet love arguing about religion so much?
R3v01u710n 8 months ago
thanks for posting this :D
Petsister 8 months ago
The ass face. XD
NicoleWardMusic 8 months ago
Lucky for Ellen she found Portia... could've ended up with a goat!
Sixen1993 8 months ago 71
My favorite saying is at 9:55.Jeues on a pony with a cowboy hat. lol that was so funny
AbbyNCIS93 9 months ago in playlist ellen
@ruffian123forever
James Robinson, the Mount Cashel's orphelina Christian Brothers and Roger Vangheluwe were all catholic priests who were against homosexuality but were accused of pedophiles act. If you want a more recent one, last march there were 21 priests who were arrested for pedophilia in the USA.
ScreamTilUFeelIt 9 months ago
@ScreamTilUFeelIt And they are not practicing ANYMORE. It's a Catholic rule. You aren't Catholic, so why are we still discussing this?
Ruffian123Forever 9 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever
I am not an atheist and not a satanist. I believe that every religion has to be treated equally. There is no supreme religion. They're all different. The thing is, I hate when a religion is used to bash on someone or to critizise something. It's just wrong and abusive. As for pedophile/gay priests, in 2004, there was over 10 000 cases of reported victims under 19 years old, 80% of them male
ScreamTilUFeelIt 9 months ago
@ScreamTilUFeelIt That isn't the answer I asked for. I asked for CURRENTLY PRACTICING homosexual Catholic priests. That was in 2004. How many of them were CATHOLIC, even? And those priests won't be practicing now.
Maybe it's idealism (a wonderful thing) that will never allow everyone to agree on everything. If we were all 'nice' and 'agreeable', we'd all be stupid, too. We argue about this. Again, it all comes down to BOUNDARIES because yes, marrying a goat is a step after being gay.
Ruffian123Forever 9 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever then why was there at least 3 catholic priests accused of pedophily towards little boy last week in Quebec?
And I shouldn't be arguing either cause your so-called god doesn't exist...
ScreamTilUFeelIt 9 months ago
@ScreamTilUFeelIt To you: THE SAME I SAID TO GENCAS437.
What are you all, anyway? Atheists, agnostics? Satanists? My so-called God is God. That's my faith. So you can go screw yourself, or we can keep at this, but it isn't getting productive.
If your so-called story is true, I'm fairly certain those priests aren't practicing Catholics anymore, hmm? And tell me, where in your sources can you give me ONE EXAMPLE of an openly gay, currently practicing Catholic priest?
Ruffian123Forever 9 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever
Listen, I know that you're probably a strong believer and it's great. But the catholic Church is VERY hypocrite. They say that they are against homosexuality or abortion, but I know a lot of catholic priests that have commited pedophile gestures and often towards their own sex. So to sum it up, STFU.
ScreamTilUFeelIt 9 months ago
@ScreamTilUFeelIt You're wrong. Catholic priests are absolutely not permitted in Catholicism. If they're practicing and they're gay in secret, then their quarrel is with their conscience and with God, because there is Zero Tolerance for gays, ACTING UPON THEIR SEXUALITY. I don't care who's gay and who isn't, but the Catholic law permits no gay ACTIVITY. No acting upon it.
I should drop this reply right now. Because you aren't only quarreling with me now. The Catholic Church is GOD'S LAW.
Ruffian123Forever 9 months ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
5:27-5:48
Ellen, I love your humor. But marriage is a holy covenant, between a MAN and WOMAN, a covenant with God and only Him. Gay-ism just doesn't make sense. Both psychologically and physically. It's not right. It defiles the Bible. Gays weep and cry and throw little pity parties to whine over their oh-so-sad lives...and they think that WE think that they're weird!
Just. Don't Defile. The Good Book. Cause that's what you're doing, Ellen.
Ruffian123Forever 9 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever fucking retard.
PenguinPownage 9 months ago
@PenguinPownage Oh, so you're a liberal, too. Socialist, communist, nice guy, gay supporter. Good. If you all just up and died one day, who would there be for us to look down on and laugh at for your stupidity? Whose mistakes would we learn from?
To you all that voted down my comment, I've got some philosophy for you. I know what it's like to be RIGHT. Because you who oppress free speech, it's because you're either admittedly wrong, afraid to admit your weakness, or too stupid to see it.
Ruffian123Forever 9 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever So, assuming that you're infallible, explain why the hell your "comment has received too many negative votes." Could it be, that you've got your head (or bra) too far up your ass to see when you're being pathetic? We don't oppress free speech. In fact, we use it to point out that you're just wrong. Nothing personal. Everyone's wrong at some point. Just admit it and move on. Or just shut the fuck up. That's also a choice. And I bet you're not going to do either of those, eh?
Lenora1854 9 months ago
@Lenora1854 No, because it's my opinion. I can do whatever in the h*ll I want with my opinion. And guess what? I'll do what I know is right, not what some retard like you tells me is right. Because I'm my own person and I'm not some liberal robot moron. I used to be liberal, mindless like you. But liberalism is a mental disorder. It explains why you're probably not even on the same page with me. I'm a God fearing Catholic. Are you?
I breathe air, I speak, I listen. I'll not be swayed.
Ruffian123Forever 9 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever And... I was right, you didn't shut the fuck up. My, you are an awfully funny person. And no, I don't "fear god"... but, apparently, I do have a mental disorder. Hmmm...
Don't mind the trolls, fellow youtubers, just enjoy Ellen.
Lenora1854 9 months ago
@Lenora1854 Wow. You think I'm a moron, don't you? You like to gang up on me, don't you? Go home, tell your liberal friends you ganged up on one youtuber. And why don't you go ahead and tell them you lost? Because when you resort to doing all you can to shut me up, it's because you can't stand up to me. And yes, you just played right into my words.
Liberalism is a mental disorder.
Remember I said that when your tiny, enclosed, screwy little liberal world caves in. You're the troll here.
Ruffian123Forever 9 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever To the first statement: Yes I most definately do. To the rest of your incoherent babble: *has a laughing fit* * wipes away tears* ah, you are hilarious! Really, honey, you could take Glenn Beck's job as village idiot on Faux News.
Yeah, but I totally just "lost"... my ability to read this with a deadpan expression! *rofl*
You're right. I'm being a troll by bothering to respond to this. But it's sooo amusing! I'll stop now. Feel free to respond idiotically and savagely! :)
Lenora1854 9 months ago
@Lenora1854
Just so you know, Beck's an idiot, too.
Why are there so many idiots in this world? You obviously aren't worth me wasting any more time, so maybe I'll look for someone I can have an INTELLIGENT conversation with.
Ruffian123Forever 9 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever I'm so glad she got married and I'm really glad to know how little others value your pathetic words. Primitive, close-minded people like you are a total joke to humanity. Everything in your comment about being gay was just flat out wrong. You obviously don't understand homosexuality AT ALL and that's probably because you've never TRIED to understand. Talk to different ppl, read a few books that aren't the bible.
gencas437 9 months ago
@gencas437 And why would I need any book OTHER than God's law? Are you an atheist, a hater yourself? The only book I ever need to read is God's Bible, because I'm talking about the whole of Christianity, Catholicism, however. This is my belief, my faith. God is the only thing I need in my life. Sure I read all kinds of books. You failed to know that I've read more books in my years than you probably have all your life.
I'm actually finding you to be a joke. And I'm a very open person.
Ruffian123Forever 9 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever Contd...Furthermore, marriage is a bond- a true commitment between two people who love each other. It's also mandatory for legal purposes in regards to any life partner. It allows one person to make decisions while the person he or she loves is in the hospital and allows that person to at least SEE the patient in severe circumstances. Death benefits concerning burial etc, and then minor tax benefits, foster care rights, and adoption. It doesn't just belong to one religion.
gencas437 9 months ago
@gencas437 THIS IS NOT MARRIAGE!
Marriage is God's covenant, a bond between a man and a woman. We were made for marriage, a man and a woman. It is GOD's covenant. HE made the rules! He wrote the Book. There's no gray area, only black and white. But you sodomists, you are the haters. Real intellectuals laugh at you.
Marriage Defined--the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.
Ruffian123Forever 9 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever If marriage only belongs to Christians then why only fight gay marriage? Why don't you all fight marriage between Atheists, Agnostics, Muslims, Wiccans etc? That legal definition is part of the fight. Those with REAL open minds and REAL open hearts are going to get the government to change that definition and accept same sex couples. WHEN that happens will you then turn against the FREE ppl of America and demand that only Christians can marry? The world is NOT black and white.
gencas437 9 months ago
@gencas437 You completely twisted my words. WHEN in that post did I EVER say marriage is ONLY for Christians? I said marriage is a covenant created by God. It is for all people to enjoy, men AND women. Where did you pull all this cr*p out of? Your *ss? I'm a free person, I have free speech. Not ONCE did I say I was a liberal communist like yourself. Same sex marriage defies God's law. Anymore, I don't care if gays get together--just don't call it MARRIAGE!
Ruffian123Forever 9 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever umm... no...I pulled it out of YOUR comment. You said that it is God's covenant!! In fact you put GOD in caps once! If it belongs to GOD as you say it does then it belongs to Christians since they are the ones who believe in God and he supposedly created this covenant despite the fact that people were getting married long before Christianity.
gencas437 9 months ago
@gencas437 Marriage is a defined term in any dictionary. But only true marriage is as God teaches us--between one man and one woman. Adam and Eve, all right?
And that is my belief.
So if you don't like it, go and whine to O-bummer about it. Maybe he'll be sorry for Ellen, too. And for your pitiful little self. And for all the rest of the world, huh?
Ruffian123Forever 9 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever No, it's true, I'm not a Christian anymore. If there was once a God though he still didn't write that book himself. Hell, it wasn't even written by one man. You don't think a couple things in there might have been a bit liberally interpreted? And me pitiful? No, it is I who pity you. You are so much more closed to the ppl around you than you claim. Doesn't matter though. The fundamentalist Christians are outmatched. Our victory in this battle is as inevitable as change itself.
gencas437 9 months ago
@gencas437 You d*mn liberal. You are a sodomist! When hell, fire and damnation run havoc on this earth, you'll be setting the torches afire. And that's the most awful thing for me to grasp.
My final touch on this matter: by God's hand, holy men wrote the Holy Bible.
You don't realize how open-minded I am--I'm actually a very nice person. But screw with my faith, my religion, my beliefs and what I KNOW TO BE RIGHT, you screw with everything I stand for. And before God, I forgive you.
Ruffian123Forever 9 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever Lol Gee, thanks. Now for the real kicker ;) I am not gay. Hell, I'm even a virgin (don't expect you to believe that, but I'm proud of it) I'm not even very liberal. I just believe in freedom of love and marriage. Sort of a bohemian dream lol. I will stand for my friends and my family with a true open heart. I will also suggest that you take a look at your comments on this video alone and then remember your own Romans 2:1. Looks like you're the one in need of forgiving. ;)
gencas437 9 months ago
@gencas437 What was the meaning of your last comment in the post you made previous to mine? 'Our victory in this battle is as inevitable...' Who in the h*ll is 'we' that you're talking about?
I applaud you for being a virgin, because you still have some moral standing. What religion are you, then? Because I believe in love, expression, and marriage as well. I would do the same as you, and I HAVE my penance straight with God.
And back to the point: GAY MARRIAGE IS STILL NOT TRUE MARRIAGE.
Ruffian123Forever 9 months ago
@gencas437 So, you have morals. I still don't know if you're atheist, agnostic, or what?
I don't need forgiveness--I have my standards straight with God. I'd do the same as you--stand up for my beliefs. Apparently, though, we just have very different views of how to express ourselves and where the BOUNDARY falls.
Ruffian123Forever 9 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever I think God loves Ellen and wants her to be happy.
Gleekedgal 7 months ago
@Gleekedgal God never stops loving any of us. Not even Ellen. Not you or me. But he does ask we follow him and listen to our morals and while some people believe otherwise, I strongly believe the practice of homosexuality is a choice and in itself, a sin. But like any other sin, we can truly repnt it and God will forgive.
Ruffian123Forever 7 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever lol It's no choice, I'm not a homosexual! But I do believe you can't choose who you love! And loving someone isn't a sin, it's just loving someone. Do you think homosexuals choose to be hated by many people?
Gleekedgal 7 months ago
@Gleekedgal So you don't get to choose what man you pick? It's just 'soul finding'? Come on. You don't get to pick between guy A and B? Yes you do. Everyone has a choice. Yet Ellen chose to discard moral laws. Not saying she's some evil seed of Satan, but she chose to discard God's laws or marriage because marriage is the term coined by God. So Ellen can't go overstepping into his territory. Actually, she could, because society wants us all to be gay and childless. Despicable liberals.
Ruffian123Forever 7 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever Most likely you choose guy A because you like his traits; but you can't change for example what traits you like, for example gender. The moral laws is that everyone should be treated equal, and right now homosexuals are not being treated fairly. Come on, don't be those stupid homophobes! The world is changing for the better, you should change with it. Gay Marriage FTW!
Gleekedgal 7 months ago
@Gleekedgal My argument isn't about FEARING gays. It's about how WRONG HOMOSEXUALITY IS. Love is wonderful, but do you HONESTLY THINK GOD INTENDED HOMOSEXUALITY TO BE GIVEN THE DEGREE OF MARRIAGE WE HAVE? God said a MAN and a WOMAN shall make a covenant. No gays! Homosexuality is our perverted society on the rise and how FAMILY is being DESTROYED. How often do you see a family like mine? Ten kids?
Gays can't reproduce. Don't even start on them adpting kids to put them through THAT torture.
Ruffian123Forever 7 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever Yes, God treats everyone equal, surely he thought about that. Since he created them, then can't complain that they want equality. Homosexuality isn't wrong, are you arguing with God that one of his creations is wrong?
Gleekedgal 7 months ago
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Gleekedgal 7 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever And adoption is a good thing because a lot of kids needs good homes!
Don't even start on how Homosexuality is wrong, God created all living things! If He thought homosexuality was wrong, we wouldn't have it.
Gleekedgal 7 months ago
@Gleekedgal God created free will. So we could choose right from wrong. You have the erred way of believing God ONLY created good so we can just do whatever we want in life. Wrong. We need to CHOOSE not to sin.
Does no one see homosexuality is disgusting? A man and a man, a woman and a woman? It's so F***ING SICK! And YOU think it's fine to raise a CHILD in that environment? You are so selfish! How would you like it if you had that growing up? I would HATE my moms or dads.
Ruffian123Forever 7 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever I know that God created free will, I don't believe that God only created the good, and I don't believe that we can do whatever we want. But same sex marriage is not wrong at all. It's not disgusting, and it's not selfish. I don't know how I would like it, but you can deny love or marriage! They want to be treated equally, to deny that is SO SICK AND DISGUSTING!!! I WOULD HATE PEOPLE LIKE YOU!!! I actually do...but yea! SAME SEX MARRIAGE FTW!!!! YOU'RE GONNA LOSE ANYWAYS!
Gleekedgal 7 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever Can't believe you have the nerves to say that same sex marriage is disgusting, if you look at yourself in the mirror, it will surely crack! I shouldn't talk to a disgusting human being like you! Hope you find out soon that the world is going to change and you will be left behind! I AM SO FOR SAME SEX MARRIAGE!!! SCREW YOU!!
Gleekedgal 7 months ago
@Gleekedgal Oh, that's terrifying. Please don't.
Listen, I can't help it if you'd rather be screwed over -quite literally- by the whole gay community. But never in my life will I or any other sensical man or woman or adopted child raised in a gay home believe homosexuality is right. I will never submit to being pressed into your erred ways and I can tell you so in a very eloquent and simple way, so someone like you who can't come up with an intelligent insult can certainly understand.
Ruffian123Forever 7 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever Troll alert! Troll alert! Ignore! Ignore! Feed the troll at your own peril!
krystlerita 7 months ago
@krystlerita Liberal alert, liberal alert! Ridicule at your own risk, they always like to gang up on you!
Ah, not like I can't handle you, too. You think I like doing this? No. It's frustrating seeing so many confused, stupid people who actually listen to people like Ellen and their 'rational thinking' which in fact, is the same rational thinking that is making/has made America the laughingstock of the world.
Scorn me for being realistic. For trying to see through the liberal smokescreen.
Ruffian123Forever 7 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever being called a liberal is the best compliment an american can get. Liberalism is what makes america so great....being liberal means you are for freedom and equality. If you hate freedom so much you should move to the middle east where its nothing but conservative bondage run by religious nut jobs. God doesnt exist, stop trying to use your imaginary friend as in excuse to hate others and just admit your homophobia, you fear homosexuality, work it out in therapy.
YourLoveLetter 6 months ago
@YourLoveLetter I'll explain.
Liberalism is what acquainted us so well with Middle Eastern radicals. YOU who defended the radicals, YOU who still force us to buy oil from Middle Eastern suppliers instead of drilling on our own land, YOU who sided with Bin Laden supporters, Islam radicals, and went to war with Libya. YOU who inflated the dollar. YOU who want equaity for atheists, mexicans, muslims, while you burn the Christian cross. YOU are the anti-Americans.
Stop destroying my country.
Ruffian123Forever 6 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever When has any liberal defended religious radicals? Liberals HATE religion because it is anti freedom. This is a new day and a new country, more and more people are waking up and turning to atheism.. or sanity as we refer to it. Also liberals hate oil.. lol. Liberals want to stop using oil and find cleaner fuel. It took a liberal to find and kill bin laden. Dont recall ever burning crosses either...lol definitely look into that therapy, you are living in a fantasy world.
YourLoveLetter 6 months ago
@YourLoveLetter It isn't funny, you know...if you were the one truly awake here you wouldn't be laughing.
See, here your theories fail you. You crucify us who believe in God, but you stick up for radicalists who want equality. YOU PUT A MUSLIM IN PRESIDENTIAL OFFICE. Must I spell it out?! Do I need to find the news reports that proved Obama, when he sided with the citizens rioting in Libya and/or Egypt, that the majority of those citizens were bin Laden supporters?
I'll pray for you, child.
Ruffian123Forever 6 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever Obama isnt a muslim...hes a christian. It doesnt matter what he is though, all religions are equal, equally evil and moronic. All religions cause terrorism and war, nothing good has ever come out of believing in imaginary beings. Christians are domestic terrorists in america, they are criminals, scam artists, and child molesters. Christians are willing to murder those who dont agree with them, they are willing to bomb medical centers, fly planes into buildings etc.
YourLoveLetter 6 months ago
@YourLoveLetter Obama is Muslim. Radical Muslims fly planes into buildings. There are those in every religion. But again you accuse Christians when Muslims do those things! CHRISTIANS DON'T SLAUGHTER PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE WITH THEM, but those same Muslims you stick up for DO!
YOUR PRESIDENT is not real. YOUR president isn't worth scum on my shoes.
I could debate you on the point you missed in this argument about how atheism itself is a religion. But I can't type much in 500 characters.
Ruffian123Forever 6 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever Radical christians also fly planes into buildings. Muslims and christians are the SAME, they do bad things and hurt people for an imaginary person. Christians are willing to kill doctors, politicians and children, the norway massacre/bombing recently was done by a conservative christian radical. Atheism isnt a religion, try using a dictionary. If obama isnt a christian than neither are you lol. He goes to christian churches. I voted for hillary clinton in the primary.
YourLoveLetter 6 months ago
@YourLoveLetter YOU need to reread those 'facts'. Christians don't believe in KILLING OVER RELIGIOUS DISPUTES. WE ARE NOT THE SAME AS MUSLIMS, I don't know where you're pulling this from! Obviously your *ss; none of it is true or sensical! You know nothing of my religion. The core value of Christianity is love.
In every crowd, there are radicals like I said. I don't deny Norway. But because the freak did what he did doesn't condemn all Christians!
As for Obama, he's a fake, so is Hillary.
Ruffian123Forever 6 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever
I think what YourLoveLetter meant was, no matter what people's religion is, they are bad or good as a person. At least, that's what I got from it.
Arneilla 6 months ago
@Arneilla Any person can choose to do good or bad things. But it all traces back to your core values; I'm not trying to convert, but I'm defending my religion of choice. I'm saying that yes, there are fanatics! In every religion; we can't forget Norway, nor can we forget the Twin Towers. But all I ask is that we look back at our own values and determine what i really is that drives us to do this, this, and that.
Ruffian123Forever 6 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@Ruffian123Forever Isn't it one of the greatest sins to judge people in God's name? Our priest once told us: "If God didn't want homosexuals to exist, He wouldn't have created them. We are all created in His image." The only thing Jesus wished for on Earth was for us to get along and to share our love - so why would our merciful Lord be against two people loving each other? I don't understand it, but I'm lucky to be part of a congregation that is not based on hate toward any of God's children.
tdkm800 6 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever *cough* Crusades *cough*
fablecio 6 months ago
@fablecio Ah, the medieval dark days when the church could not be questioned. Crusades were instigated by the Pope at the time, but they were fought against by Muslims and heretics battles between religions. It's no different today. HOWEVER. That was not done just to go out and kill people; you must understand that. The intent was to recapture Jerusalem, part of the Promised Land, a holy city to us then and today. So that wasn't unprovoked, that was 'an eye for an eye'.
Ruffian123Forever 6 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever All the major religions advocate love as a primary value, and they all kill in the name of their God.
AsheeshAnand 6 months ago
@AsheeshAnand No, they don't 'all' kill in he name of God. It differs from religion to religion, depending on how the religion is taught and each person interprets it.
Just because these fanatics kill in the name of their God, doesn't make it right. You have to look back at the lessons taught in each religon, to see what's really true.
Ruffian123Forever 6 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever But it's not as if Christianity is the only religion that advocates love as a major principal. Islam also advocates love. So does Judeaism. You can put it down to fanaticism, but the violence committed in the name of Christ are as much, if not more than, what has been done in the name of Islam.
AsheeshAnand 6 months ago
@AsheeshAnand No, you really need to look at history. Who was it who birthed Sadaam Hussein? Who was it who created Al-Qaeda? Who was it who tried to destroy thw twin towers twice, and succeeded once? What religion has been at the center of inciting one of the longest, most violent feudal periods in modern history between nations?
Ruffian123Forever 6 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever I was going to say the same thing to you about looking at history. The burning of witches for almost an entire millenium is a stain on Christianity which will never wash away. You said yourself, it depends on how the religion is taught, and interpreted. Sadaam Hussein is not an emblematic example of Islam. He was a fanatic. Most of what is practiced by Al-Qaeda is in direct violation of the Qur'aan.
AsheeshAnand 6 months ago
@AsheeshAnand Congratulations, you JUST reached my point. Is Islam a religion entirely of fanatics? No. There are fanatics in any religion. Witch hunts were 500 years ago. In case you didn't notice, the Church has changed since. We can go on finding fault in ancient religion all day long, but we need to accept that 10 years ago, it was Al-Qaeda who killed thousands and has driven the War On Terror since its inception.
I'm defending Christianity, so here's your question: what year is today?
Ruffian123Forever 6 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever According to the solar, or lunar calendar? I'm afraid, as far as I'm concerned, there's no taksies backsies, when it comes to the witch hunts. I have trouble seeing Christianity as a loving religion when they cheated me of the opportunity to become a pagan, by wiping them out. If you ask me, Christianity has another five hundred years to go, to atone. I don't know if Christians have become more loving than five hundred years ago, but they're just as meddlesome as ever.
AsheeshAnand 6 months ago
@AsheeshAnand August 28, 2011. The date. Starting in 0 AD, we count up from the birth of Christ. Why? Because people back then had to base time on something. 1/3 of today's population are Christian, half of those are Catholic. Explain that.
Did I say we could take things back? I didn't. Open your ears and listen to what people say; you'll find yourself enlightened. However, as far as I'M concerned, the one group whose members haven't seemed to learn from their mishaps would be Muslims.
Ruffian123Forever 6 months ago
@YourLoveLetter Just because someone goes to a christian church does not making him/her a christian. Just saying your point there was invalid.
Gracie2136 5 months ago
@Gracie2136 I had to keep it short because there is a character limit. What I was saying was, hes a christian because he goes to a christian church, he proclaims himself as a christian, and he believes in jesus and his teachings...therefore hes a christian. People still say he isn't, which I just find hilarious, if that doesnt make him a christian then nobody is.. until they prove they are, beyond the things mentioned.
YourLoveLetter 5 months ago
@Gracie2136 I wasn't saying that he wasn't christian cuz i wouldn't know, i'm just saying that going to a christian church doesn't make someone a christian, cuz i know a crap load of people who go and are sure as hell not.
Gracie2136 5 months ago
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tdkm800 6 months ago
@Ruffian123Forever Contd... 99% of this argument is based on religion. Problem is, this is a free country. Not everyone shares your religious views or your views on marriage and since not all Americans are bound to GOD's law as you perceive it then they should be free to do as they please. Separation of church and state. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe atheism and paganism is also against GOD's law, so if you're ok with God's covenant being forsaken by non believers then why not gays?
gencas437 9 months ago
@gencas437 Yes they are. But you probably aren't Catholic. Or even Christian, so what would you know about it? All of these things are things that go against God's laws. But the thing that even started this whole entire argument was that ELLEN brought religion into it. She said we can't SPEAK for God and say homosexuality isn't cool. But it says it in the Bible.
And you obviously aren't Christian because you believe God's law is only for us. But you don't understand--it's for everyone.
Ruffian123Forever 9 months ago
Exactly. Homosexuals are not animals. It's not even the same idea..
MaijaRae 10 months ago
you no whats going on there???
yeh nothing
lmaoooooooooo
MrsLovettMyLoves 11 months ago 5
She's amazing
cutelilo8 11 months ago
"A picture of Jesus on the beach with a t-shirt that says 'my parents created the universe and all i got was this lousy t-shirt' " :D LMAO, she is just too funny!
karolinahes 11 months ago 7
2:10 - 2:42 Eheheh!! We Are HAWT!
M0v3t0C4n4d4 1 year ago 3
can she say the a word any more in 1 sentance!!! lol jkjkjk
JessikaAwesome 1 year ago
I'm gonna walk awaaaaaaaay......and that's my ASS!
bridge2nowhere 1 year ago 9
@bridge2nowhere lol tht was hilarious
JessikaAwesome 1 year ago
lol the ass expression. lol
Aiyuri100 1 year ago 6
haha I eally wanna meet her she's hilarious
BekiiTheSinger 1 year ago
the ass face xD gosh she is great
Pinksheepy1 1 year ago 3
I don't anything could ever make me as happy as Ellen DeGeneres can! Gosh she's swell! :D
EmoShoes93 1 year ago 6
People DO marry animals. A 9-year-old girl married a dog. Someone also married a goat. There was a cow and horse in there, somewhere, too. Seriously; Look it up.
rachel25lee 1 year ago
THE GOD RANT = HILARIOUS!! :-)
ItalianCaliBoi 1 year ago 7
"yes i know im biting my lip its to keep from laughing !"
"where'd you come up with that little technique? did you make that up? so don't do it. okay."
hahahahah
xschlen 1 year ago 8
It's so cute when Ellen laughs about herself!
CeEstMoi 1 year ago 8
I love her laugh!
SuperMraugust 1 year ago 4
Then I realized God's seen me naked so I just took my clothes OFF!!!
LadyGM720 1 year ago 2
Everybody on YOUTUBE watching this! Make the ass face! Right NOW! lmfao! XD
LadyGM720 1 year ago
The captions should really be worked on. I <3 Ellen! Everyone should be able to enjoy it.
maloryxblue 1 year ago
lmaoooooo "im walking awayyy.....AND THATS MY ASS!"
kisulik777 1 year ago 6
It is like a donkey dating a deer. That is weird. Right?
ankoenig87 1 year ago
@maezawi Actually, look at all the stand-up comedians out there and you'll see that EVERY SINGLE ONE talks mostly about sex. That's what approximately 80% of stand up comedy is nowadays. Ellen is one of the few genuinely funny people left who bases the majority of her content on appropriate material. Put yourself in someone else's shoes before you judge them. You'd be pretty damn pissed if someone else declared that you should be stoned until death.
hudeet1219 1 year ago
@hudeet1219 I agree. & she talks about WAY more than sex. People would KNOW that if they bothered to watch the other 5 parts of this video. Then they would also laugh their ass OFF! Why is this maezawi person even watching this!!!? If they aren't a fan of her stand up or GAY then he/she makes me VERY suspicious as to why they even CARE? lmfao!!! Someone's QUESSSTIONING!!!! Ahahahaha! lol. I had to make a joke about it. I love being a comedian. Then you can fuck with people who are mad!!! lol XD
LadyGM720 1 year ago 2
at 3:13 nothing hahahah
BackAtOne1300 1 year ago
@maezawi Are you Muslim ?
Salam
Go and stone your narrow mind with your Shariah Law cause you don't how to love and you don't believe in Science . Science says that homosexuality is natural ... It is caused by hormone . Do you choose to be straight ? Oh Dear .. God bless you ... Change your mind and love !!!
555usama 1 year ago 2
MIGHTY FINE SEATS YA GOT THERE! x)))
Ellyyswift 1 year ago
lol pictures of Jesus with a t-shirt saying: 'my parents created the universe and all I got was this lousy t-shirt'
spoenk 1 year ago 5
I love how she says stuff that we're all afraid to say XD
Heavymetalchick157 1 year ago 2
"A lot of energy, a lot of energy, a lot of energy and look at my face. Nothing happening...might want to check in every once in a while." Love it!!
SammmeeBee 1 year ago 54
I love the "people who videotape thier sex" reference. It's funny because this is from 2000. WAY before every one and thier uncle had a sextape out...
ccipollini1984 1 year ago
Mom....dad....this is Billy =D
Thearsawhite 1 year ago 4
@Thearsawhite he is a goat and we are in love hahahha
AnimationDisney 1 year ago 3
that lady you can hear laughing in the background xD
isabeltulloch 1 year ago 9
I love you... you... goat!
badeendenliefde 1 year ago 2
that my asssss
kakasuna 1 year ago 8
Loooook at US! We are HHHHHotttttt! I love her!
TheMightyWoosh 1 year ago 46
Hmm, how would a goat be in bed? What if the goat liked BDSM? "Billy, you've been a baaaahhhdddd boy."
raerae1281 1 year ago
27 assholes hit the dislike button>.< ellen rox!! i love ellen! [no homo, and no offense]
ClumsyAlex 1 year ago
hahaha ellen is so fanny! i love her
Quel230 1 year ago
'RAHEL! my bra is in my ass!'
'oh its in the ass do u need a different size or color i dont know what to do about the bra in the ass' X D
butterfly43215 1 year ago 7
@butterfly43215 I'll get the manager. Btw, my name's Rachel ;)
raerae1281 1 year ago
@raerae1281 well whats the manager gonna do about the bra in the ass?
silence
Rahcel?!
butterfly43215 1 year ago
@butterfly43215 LMAO, I dunno, but earlier she's like, the girl doesn't know what to do about the bra in the ass so she's like, "I'll get the manager...I don't know what to do about the bra in the ass!" LOL
raerae1281 1 year ago
the ass face hahahahaha
Kieerrx 1 year ago 4
Walked away, came back and first thing I hear is 'oh I love you, you goat'. Very confused.
Britishsuperstar 1 year ago 4
Lol The chuckle after 'Mighty fine seats you got there'
sugarychocobot 1 year ago 2
and this is my ass---> ( )( )
kckcgirl 1 year ago 3
At 3:20 is that Robert pattinson?
katiezillaa 1 year ago
@katiezillaa No its a women I believe I don't think thats him.
neverlovedaboy 1 year ago
@katiezillaa you probably wish it was
transfrmpnguinz 1 year ago
" aand What's going on right here? what's happening right there?.. I'll tell ya, nothin'! "
LMFAO! <3
EmEtt93 1 year ago 8
"You might wanna check in once in a while" LOL
MansProfils 1 year ago 6
I like her ass face at home at 0:45 when she goes: "OMG"
pucina22 1 year ago 6
Comment removed
pucina22 1 year ago
She's great .. she has funny bones !