Added: 4 years ago
From: GlennBeckVideos
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  • This guy looks like a middle age lesbian for christs sake.

  • Why don't religious people never look good in jeans?

  • @acidmaniac Its the faith that they will pick the right fit. So they never open there eyes when shopping, lol.

  • This is so bad. Apparently Beck wants to do a comedy show permanently. Please do so for unintentional hilarity.

  • And I thought his daily show was his comedy act

  • His shirt should read, "Got Fear"

  • oh glenn i love your flabby body, pasty skin, and assless filled pants. marry me!..no but seriously ilu GB

  • A few years ago I was going out with a single mother who had a stunning daughter. By 14 she was fully developed- great boobs, bum, pretty face- the whole package.

    We used her to blackmail my boss- we went for a drink after work where she met me & proceeded to flirt outrageously with him. I played dumb, said goodnight & left them to it.

    A few days later her mum confronted him (with photos) & revealed the girl’s age. Needless to say a large cheque was forthcoming, which we split 50/50!

  • GET OFF MY PHONE!

  • @deegan45 This coming from the person who searched "glenn beck" in the youtube search box, and decided to watch this. The world is so full of sadists.

  • Why all the hate? Is it because you have no answers to Glenn's challenges? Is it because he's right and you just can't admit it?  No wait, maybe it's because personal responsibility shakes you to your core and scares you so badly that you feel some measure of solace in lashing out wildly at one who is promoting it. Sad. To be certain, one need not be safe, boring, fat, white or conservative to know what is right and to practice it.

  • Safe, boring stories for safe, boring fat white conservatives. This is pathetic.

  • Look at all the fat, dumb people in the audience.

  • For a TV personality, he completely sucks at storytelling. Did anyone on YouTube find this funny? I find this depressing and mentally deranged, and not in a good way.

  • his shirt should say 'got milk toast comedy? I do.'

  • I went to this when it was at the theatre. Glenn is so funny and fantastic and laughed so hard at his act. Thanks for this post of this piece of film of this amazing man that is so gifted and a great actor and does so much for charity and people. 

  • It doesn't take much to become a successful neoconservative commentator.

  • @tarmac2001 Yet the liberal counter-part can't reach an audience. Hmmmmmm Curious I am. Teach me you shall.

  • @jamin121884 Who is the liberal counter-part? More than likely I probably don't like that he or she either. I'm sick of all the far side wing nuts altogether. The world could use alot less of them. All of them just speak whatever shit they can come up with to increase their show ratings. Their careers only revolve around gaining viewers, it doesn't matter to them if they lied to get the popularity.

  • @tarmac2001

    So, where has GB lied? If you have the 411, spread it out and let's look at it. If not, this is just petty jealousy. Plainly put, put up or shut up.

  • @BigBrother1960 What are you talking about? Anyway, I never said GB was a liar. He is a political commentator and all of them usually, wether liberal or conservative, like to exaggerate things on truthful subjects to make their political views more favorable.

  • @BigBrother1960 If you want lies then watch he show then look up say, his quotes or statements and verify with other sources (like books on the subject by people with relevant qualifications, not new channels) the lies come pretty fast. Or if you're lazy just type in Glenn Beck lies then check what people claim to be lies to see, well most often they're right, he lied. However to be fair he doesn't just lie, he contradicts, misquotes, contorts the truth and exaggerates, witch are forms of lying

  • This guy gives me douche chills

  • @livnletdi You have feeling in your douche? Congrats. Shove a plastic bag up your vag, let's see how it feels being reused. Hell the world is our window now. Plastic film over windows, over-used or under-appreciated? Tampon plungers, the unknown warrior? Kidney Bags, the unrepresented medical bag of he future?

  • he may not be a very good comedian, but at least he's better at comedy than news commentating.

  • what the fuck is this shit another carlos mencia no talent whatsoever

  • LOL GLENN BECK IS FUCKING TRAAWWWWWLLLLL LMAOAMA GHAHJAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@­@@@@@

  • Got Milk?

  • pathetic, and painfull...... I'd almost feel sorry for him.

  • I hope no one had to pay for this. I feel kind of robbed and all I did was watch it on YouTube.

  • whoa-ho-ho-ho! Ah-ha-ha-ha!

  • cock. full stop.

  • This is as funny as having your doctor tell you that you have severe terminal brain cancer while reading Cathy in the newspaper.

  • @Anonem00se LOL now YOUR comment... THATS funny! hahaa

  • Soccer mom blue jeans.

  • Wow...who the Hell would date Glenn Beck's daughter?

  • You people that are giving this a bad rating are doing so because you don't his beliefs and no other reason.

  • What are you guys talking about? That was hilarious! He's in on the joke, right?

  • If my dad did this to me I would wack him one .. seriously Beck keep out of your daughters business i mean c'moin she's 16 for gods sake!!!!!

  • Oh I see, he's trying to be funny.

  • sincerely terrible

  • I heard Glenn Beck was a failed comedian but holy crap that was terrible

  • And to think, I thought Blue Collar Comedy Tour was bad.

    Glenn Beck makes Larry the Cable Guy look like Dave Chappelle.

  • Glenn,you're not a comediant.DEAL WITH IT!

    P.S:Kill yourself.

  • LAME

  • Hahahahahahahaahaha-hahaaha! LOLOLROTFMAOBBQ!!!1

  • glen beck is about as funny as cancer

  • jeez he is generally more exciting as a news commentator than a comedian and thats purely because he's such a cunt on the news

  • It doesn't really matter if she ever wants to date again. A Mormon polygamy cult can set her up to be the 5th wife of some guy four decades older than she is.

  • Even a conservative should think this is drab.

  • i wish someone would shoot glenn beck in the fuckin head.

  • Wow he is an even worse comedian than he is a news commentator, and that is saying something right there.

  • I went to see this show when it was at the theatres 3 months ago and it was so very funny and made me laugh so hard. Glenn Beck is so great and funny and really cares alot about his fans. Thanks for this great post here of this amazing and kind man who cares about his family as well.

  • dad wants to kill daughters boyfriend? HARHARHARHARHARHARHAR

  • thank God for Glenn Beck!!!!

  • I watched this for five minutes, maybe having a small chuckle at most.

    Not funny.

  • I dont like Beck, but the water bottle part made me smile a little bit I guess...

  • his first date was in 1990...

  • lol Glenn Beck is both a terrible dad and a terrible person

  • Unfortunately - he's no better when he's doing his day job. As a matter of fact, Glenn Beck is only funny when he's screaming at callers into his radio station.

  • wow, this was very unfunny.

  • I love glenn beck, but he shouldnt quit his day job.

  • That, was fucking amazing. Thats the nice version of what id do if I had a daughter haha

  • So he is actually a standup comedian! I knew it. Someone should tell Fox they've got a hack of a comedian pretending to be a news commentator on their program. I'm sure, in an effort to maintain the integrity they so strive for, they'll pull him off the air right quick.

  • @dougmanjones he's not a "news commentator," well, not in the fullest sense. he's an entertainer, even he admits it. deal is, you can't have a network that's just "news", ergo, glenn beck, keith olbermann

  • @hendrickx88 - Good point.

  • @dougmanjones No they don't want to pull him off the air. Glenn Beck is a big hit on Foxnews. FXN would lose a lot of money and support if they pull Beck off the air.

  • @tskjesusfreak - I know. I was being sarcastic. jesus.

  • @dougmanjones

    He's just a guy talking about things he's been through and hey guess what, life's a funny thing. If you listen to his shows you would know that Pat, Stu and Glenn are hilarious. Also it's not hard to be a "News Commentator." You just give your opinion on the issues of the day and speak your mind like all of us do.

    You could be a commentator tomorrow if you wanted, although I doubt anyone would want to hear your amazing ideas about Liberalism.

  • @fishblades - amazing is a strong word, but thanks nonetheless.

    P.S. Beck is a fat sack of shit who makes a fortune by appealing to the fear and paranoia of morons. Cheers.

  • @dougmanjones Like Obama . . . Ohhhh Shit, Ohhh man that's a lie right. Martha's Vineyard, A Spanish trip for the wife, More rounds of golf in a year then Bush did his whole term . . . I'm a racist. I'm a bigot. I'm a homophobe, Islamophobe, gun totting blatant terrorist right? No . . . . . No no no come back, hold on, no wait, here's a cookie. I have a cookie . . . You like the cookie right?

  • @jamin121884 - Racist, homophobe, Islamaphobe, bigot, gun-toting....those are your words, pal. Sounds like you've got a bit of inner guilt.  It's good you're getting it out. I hope you find it lethargic.

  • @dougmanjones I think you mean cathartic.

  • @adronias - Shit, you're right.

  • @dougmanjones lethargic was probably on your mind after this video.

  • @dougmanjones Oh so you disagree with Glenn's opinions. Pretty good, eh? I'm starting to learn the code language...because, you know, people won't just come out and debate people on the issues anymore. What fun is that? The Catholic church in the 15th and 16th centuries had it right, didn't they? If you disagreed with them, they excommunicated with you. Now, disagree with the wrong people and you're stupid or a "comedian." I love these people that call Beck names and then use these tactics.

  • @dougmanjones You sir, are a Genius! 

  • Beck's lame performance is proof that right-wingers just can't do comedy. He is absolutely horrid. Crazy does not equal funny. Give me Jon Stewart or Steven Colbert anyday over this lame-o. Good god, this guy is the savior of the teabaggers? I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

  • @douglasjcox fail. Nick DiPaolo is a right winger.

  • Give me a link where Nick states some right wing bullshit.. Otherwise. go fuck youself. If you are right, I will offer my apologizes.

  • Comment removed

  • type in nick dipaolo and republican in a search engine and you will find the answer

  • You're right. And I'll offer my apologies. And DiPaolo (unlike Beck) is actually pretty funny. But seriously, if you're honest, you have to admit that the vast majority of funny comedians aren't right-wing. Just the opposite. (and Dane Cook sucks, regardless of party affiliation).

  • @douglasjcox -you actually expected this to be a typical stand-up performance. I expected this to be more of a "point-of-view" performance where he espouses his political beliefs. I mean if you expected him to be Carlin, you were using to big of a meter stick to measure by.

  • I didn't really expect anything. And so I wasn't disappointed. I merely commented that he wasn't funny. Not even Dane Cook funny and that's not setting the bar very high.

  • @douglasjcox -oh...okay. Same thing here.

  • I had no clue he did comedy, hes good!

  • For you folks who just can't stand Glenn, and are listing reasons why you think he shouldn't be successful, let me just point out that HE IS, and he's currently making more money than you. Obviously, someone is listening. I believe THAT'S what drives the Beck-bashers crazy more than anything else.

  • Yeah, it turns out that idiots are still a very lucrative target audience. It doesn't drive me crazy as much as it does sadden me that our country has this many shameless idiots in it.

  • So you are not allowed to criticize anybody who makes more money than you? Right.

  • Glenn Beck does stand-up? Oh, my God... Really, oh, my God...

  • Lame.

  • gaaaaaaaaaay

  • The whole audience is aged 40+ and he's telling dull jokes about parenting.

    Not my scene.

  • Glenn Beck is so white he can actually pull off tucking a "Got Milk" t-shirt into his jeans. And what was up with that audience? Is he on the assisted living circuit?

  • I'm sure Glenn is a nice guy and everything but this is terrible. Not funny at all. Rambling with zero nuance.

  • Conservatives aren't funny. Especially this guy. More creepy than funny.

  • I try to explain to them why I think they don't have a sense of humor... it's like trying to explain to a dog what the color red is.

  • I agree to the fact that this clip is pretty lame but the early years of the show were 'Grade A' funny, but those years are gone. He is only occasionally funny now....

  • I find it hard to believe that Beck was ever much of a comedian.  Conservatives can't do humor, period. And I think it frustrates them. Jon Stewart and Colbert regularly own this idiot. The only remotely funny conservatives are the redneck ones, like Larry the Cable guy. Just shows you the class of people that form the base of today's GOP.

  • Stewart is a cock who cant get Obama's cock out of his mouth....Fucking shill just shouts over his guests....

    Beck is hilarious.....funniest g uy on TV.

    ZERO-An investigation into 9/11 Google video...

  • You think Stewart shouts over his guests? That's BS. There's no pundit that is more respectful of his guests than Stewart. I think you confuse Stewart with either Hannity or O'Reilly.

  • the only people i see here spreading hate is everyone currently on this page. and if you hate, dislike or disapprove of glenn do u know why besides saying something like he's stupid or a dumb ass right wing. can you give a reason with some substance and without coming and attacking me by saying oh your just as stupid as he is. i challenge you. tell me why u hate him

  • @trscsaeg

    I hate him because on top of being a spreader of nonsense, he's so unfunny it brings me to tears. And this isn't a political thing, I mean look at this skit. It's totally politically neutral... and it's so far from good standup it hurts.

  • And the best part of this video is that no one forced you to watch it.

  • The poor quality itself has some value of humor to it.

  • Yeah cuz "If Atheists Ruled the World" Has great quality, I guess that makes it funny.

  • Well, it's pretty funny that lots of people really think that, yes.

    What's funnier is I now think you checked my page for recent activity. Not the standup kind of funny, though.

  • Just because someone is "standing up" doesn't mean they are doing "standup". Ever heard of Garrison Keillor?

  • ...yeah, and Beck is pretty much the epitome of that saying.

  • what saying

  • You know, "just because you're standing up doesn't mean you're doing standup." What else would I mean

  • Then your statement makes no sense.

    I am saying that he is not doing stand up and you are criticizing him for doing it poorly. Proof that it doesn't take a lot of intelligence to be a critic.

  • He's done entire standup tours. He had a damn pay per view standup special. This tour is called "an inconvenient tour." He's most definitely attempting what he thinks is standup, or at least comedy, both of which he fails miserably at... and you're the one who brought up standup in the first place, so if it is an incorrect labeling, you're the one who brought it on!

    Wow. People are fucking dumb.

  • I'm betting he's wearing his magic underwear just like all the retarded morons do. I don't feel sorry for Glenn Beck. I want to kick his ass and maybe I'll be able to kick the stupidity out of him. Though it'd be a hell ot f a beating.

  • Ugh, what a lame ass routine. Daughters first date? Overdone... and done badly here.

  • @dannypantsgm he isnt a comedian, he is just trying to make a couple jokes cause he is funny when he is talking normally but people expect him to have a routine...

  • @leafsfan9917 I just expect him not to totally suck.. Wait, no I don't.

  • @dannypantsgm well he didnt totally suck, It was kind of funny, I havent heared that approach to it before, I mean how many people incorperate their personall agents and TV hosts and stuff into it... its supossed to be just a little bit of fun. What comedians do you like?

  • @leafsfan9917 I think it did. I really just can't stand him.

    George Carlin is all time favorite. David Cross, Mitch Hedberg, Robert Schimmel, Brian Regan, Daniel Tosh, Jim Gaffigan, Stephen Lynch... all excellent.

  • @dannypantsgm all right, I expected you to say seth rogan or russel peters and I was prepared to jump all over you, I hate thoes people who become popular just making stupid imature jokes and sexual innuendos, some people manage to do it tastefull way but not too many

  • Wow! This is one lame motherfucker! He tucks his t-shirts in. And is this supposed to be funny?? That's a serious question, by the way.

  • Beck should have a shirt that reads "Got Brains?" instead of the one he's wearing. Because he doesn't have any.

    Oh, what he wouldn't do for a brain? Guess it's off to see the wizard for Beck. What a fuckoff.

  • glen beck murdered then raped a young girl in 1990s...

  • what an evil, boring douchebag.

    you do know this guy is making the country stupider by the day, right?

    you're not blind to the massive amounts of misery and hatred he creates on a daily basis, are you?

    how can anybody take this clown seriously?

    the rightwing wants so bad to believe in something: Jesus, death panels, Glen Beck... why can't it ever be something that's real or relevant?

  • I feel so sorry for Glenn Beck. This is the saddest thing I've seen in a while.

  • Don't feel sorry for Glenn Beck... ever.

  • a real knee slapper...to wake me up

  • Almost fell off my chair....sleeping

  • yawnnnnnnnn

  • what a throwback. I remember when stories like this were funny.........................­....what a way to end a show, just fantastic, so original. Wow, mind blown, he said that he would kill that kid, how refreshing. Great humor, just up my alley. This guy needs his own comedy shows on comedy central and a sitcom of his very own, just like bill engval. Just one the best comedian I have ever seen, Huge hit with that audience, I think I saw someone who was under 65 there, who let that kid in?

  • Hahaha, yes!

  • WOW this is bad

  • What a sick fuck Glenn is...kill the guy..even jokingly? That's the first thing that comes into his mind? Man, he must be still on the sauce.

  • stop whining

  • really? EVERY male comedian who talks about daughters dating say shit like that. Are you really that straight-laced and bland?

  • This dude is pathetic!

  • idiot

  • As funny as unfunny awful parenting is, it's mortifying to think this jovial character got away with raping and murdering a young girl in 1990.

  • @DraftRecords Really? what proof do you have of that?

  • @Hendrick4404 It's all over the internet. Many speculate that Glenn Beck allegedly raped and murdered a young girl in 1990.

  • @DraftRecords I dont give a damn whats all over the internet. Its all over the internet that nobody has been to the moon, or that the Holocaust never happened, or that Elvis isnt really dead. PROOF is what i want. And amazingly, when you ask someone for it, they dont have ANY! It never ceases to amaze me how far someone will go to try to discredit someone who is exposing their Messiah in the White House. Im not necessarily saying you, but others.

  • @Hendrick4404

    Right On!!!!

  • @quickross1 It just amazes me how far someone will go. America needs to come together to put this country back on track and instead people are spreading rumors and arguing and "speculating" something that has ZERO basis for any of it.

  • now i really want someone to bang his daughter.

  • Comment removed

  • what a screwed up pudgy manchild

  • you shouldn't be able to get away with rape just because you're famous. shame on you, glenn.

  • grown up Bart Simpson lookin ass

  • Yeah, because anyone who doesn't find this banal crap funny is obviously just a liberal who worships Olbermann and Obama, right? No. That's an empty argument you're trying to make. The hostility and anger you're presenting only makes your assumptions look that much more retarded and ironic. Hypocritical douchebag.

    This shit isn't funny no matter who you are. It's so unfunny and such an absolute failure that it cannot be considered objective. It is officially not funny.

  • This dude totally rips off Tim Heidecker's look and style.

  • this is the AIDS virus

  • Yeah.. Leave the comedy up to Jon Stewart, Glenn....

  • I hope that wasn't supposed to be funny. I didn't laugh or even smile that whole time.

  • when will all these people die?

  • Why (probably) create a story, that is not funny, interesting or of any practical use? Especially when the the story makes you come across as someone who compulsively subjugates women and derives pleasure from bullying a person (who is already in a position of weakness).

    He makes it worse by (probably) lying and saying that the story actually happened. If he presented it as a fantasy, that was against his better nature, he would at least come across as somewhat thoughtful.

  • I don't get why everyone's so fed up with Glenn Beck, and not with a bunch of other worse newscasters like the racists Keith Olbermann and Bill Maher...

  • Shut The Fuck Up Nigger Faggot

  • fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu

  • I've never heard either of them say anything racist. Maher attacks religion pretty frequently, but he doesn't single any one religion out so I'd argue that's more against the institution of religion than any very specific group of people.

  • This is negative funny.

  • Wow, I just found out today that this guy is a Mormon. That explains alot! He believes God lives on a planet near a star named Kolob.

  • he is also being tied to a rape and murder that happened back in 1990. the case just got reopened.

  • I can tell he's a funny guy because of his "got milk?" t-shirt. He's probably easy going and just like the rest of us because he's wearing his everyday blue jeans. His Converse shoes make me believe that he's probably totally hip with the kids and a bit of a rebel. He probably plays the bass guitar!

    Forget this douche truck. Go watch some Bill Hicks and see real comedy with a point and wit sharp enough to poke holes through this idiot's bullshit facade.

  • If I could upvote this a million times, by god I would do it.

  • Where are the jokes?

  • Wow. He's not funny at all!

  • To any of the fans of Glenn Beck, can you please do me a favor.

    Please explain to me why you would go to his comedy show? Why you would watch his show for political insight? I'm not trying to be rude or biased, I just don't understand. Seriously, I don't understand.

  • Humor is one of those things that's truly objective, like music. You may not be able to explain why you enjoy the types that you enjoy, you just do. And the reason I watch his T.V. show is pretty simple: It's one of the few news programs that dosen't make me want to shoot my T.V.

    I'm trying to be civil, just as you were in your initial comment. If you comment back, please try to keep it that way.

  • i think you mean "subjective," not "objective." Switching these words makes your comment all screwed up and the opposite of what you wanted to say. ....... Just sayin'

  • Thanks. But how far back did you have to go to find that comment? I made it over 2 months ago.

  • Comment removed