Resisting The Urge: A Guide For Christian Boys

[Nuovoswiss]

Not sure if troll, or moron.

[jawsflounderace]

@Nuovoswiss Satire, dumbass

[FlyingPicklePeople]

Which is worse: Killing millions of angels equally yourself, or drowning them all except for one who gets to live while all the others die?

[Sonyphilia]

@FlyingPicklePeople People don't even get pregnant first time.

[Bramak17]

I'm a 10 year old and neither of you assholes have the balls or brains to fuck with me.

[HakitoJin]

@Bramak17 Huh

[dokujunkii]

gideon's trumphet? never heard of that one O_o xD

[MadnessIsRelative]

first time I saw this I thought it was serious and a Christian, now I'm an atheist and now... BAH HAH HAH HAH!!!

[victorromerone]

STUPID!!!!

[LieutenantRice]

My girlfriend is christian.... Sucks :/

[dougle03]

What a cock this bloke is... Some kids will be really affected by this rubbish...

[bardmoor]

dudes, this is CLEARLY a parody!

[soundstew]

i've had enough of these motherfucking christfags. goddamn you cunts!

[EnterTheOcho]

This guy reminds me of David Cross in Arrested Development.

[robpolle]

What's his mission.? Making fun of things, or is he serious.? That shit is kinda disturbing. Stop doing that shit

[Enraged423]

@robpolle his mission was successful

[ReBirthofNirvana]

i spilt my seed watching this

[justynlawrence]

Ok, I'm saved and this is not funny sin is not a joke!

[DMZ6KG]

@justynlawrence [Citation needed]

[Zackarot]

I masturbated while watching this.

[Jonascience2]

FUCK THAT i fap when i want!

[jberdaunderscore95]

I think I am going to beat my demon after this.

[LordShiding]

OMG he's sitting wrong on a chair and talks like "us" I feel like I should listen!

[LightningLion1585]

@LordShiding and wearing his hat cocked to the side! he must be the dopest character on the block!

[LordShiding]

@LightningLion1585 lets ask him if he wants us to be his homies, lol this guy is just awesome, first time I saw him, I couldn't tell he was being sarcastic, probably 90% of the dislakes are because people don't know if he's lieing or not XD

[LightningLion1585]

@LordShiding Funny thing is, I used to be a Christian and dealt with people just like this

[whiteMichealJackson]

@Slayerpjo you spelled come wrong... Or did you

[MrBlumpy88]

HAHA! Blowing Gideon's Trumpet.

[Neshuah1]

tell God you are cumming :D

[SlayerPJO]

Crack up...soooo sarcastic...well it's not but it cums across as such.

[SilenusTheSecond]

"Fight...BEATING...the demon!" I lost my shit at that point.

[juul384]

are you messing with us?

[joshuamyler]

@juul384 Yeah he's joking :)

[Rhythmsynonym]

It amazing how many people don't realize this is a fucking joke.

[rossplendent]

"And if you're left-handed... well you should probably ask your pastor."

LOL

[sickness2snipe]

look at this idiot, if it wasn't for christians like him we wouldn't have had any of the most bloodiest and gut wrenching wars.

[ronaldwangdra1995]

@sickness2snipe ... He's not a christian

[plix3r]

Even if you blow your ''trumpet'' in a girl's ''saxophone'' and she gets pregnant, you'll still have killed millions of ''little angels'' because they can't all make it to the ''angel house'' and grow into a baby

[drakesmurphy]

Okay this is stupid. There is no other way to say it. You Christians act like us athiest's are here to convert you and steal what you believe in. It is sick how you people think. And Edward current, your just adding to the problem. God may or may not exist but in the bible it say's that god will love all of his children and that is why he sacrificed his son so that he will forgive our sin's. I would know this because I was brought up as a Christian. And let me just say.... IT SUCKED. Waking up

[fuckmania07]

ATHEISTS BURN IN HELL FOREVER !!!

ATHEISTS BURN IN HELL FOREVER !!!

ATHEISTS BURN IN HELL FOREVER !!!

[HaloNinja384]

@fuckmania07 What hell?

[Zoddca321]

"and then, you can tell him that you are coming to him"

This has been an amazing video...

[777Atum]

"I've spent many long hours beating the demon." Fucking hilarious!

[theshiznits2020]

their not "mini angels" their male sex cells called sperm retard

[DinosaurStripClubLOL]

@theshiznits2020 Wow you are a fucking moron, they are angels and you are going to hell queer!

[theshiznits2020]

@DinosaurStripClubLOL your the moron, a monkey that took Biology will tell you that their sex cells, there not the little angels you speak of until they fertilize the woman's ovarys, THEN they are precious cargo!

[DinosaurStripClubLOL]

@theshiznits2020 FUCK YO MUDER!

[Sekair]

This guy sounds like a fanatic or he's making fun of the faith.

[brian4480]

3:27 FYI guys the heavy artillery he is talking about is porn....hot, big ass brown girl porn.

[pbrskater26]

Keep doing this it's the funniest shit ever!!

[Trustmeimawriter]

Can't tell if satire...or just really stupid

[Trustmeimawriter]

@Trustmeimawriter oh just got to the massager. nvm

[DinosaurStripClubLOL]

@Trustmeimawriter If you can't tell than you are fucking stupid.

[Abbadon380]

ive committed GENOCIDE noooooooooooo D:

[vehlajatt22]

i guess he has a point

wasting sperm is kind of bad, some people might need it, it's kind of like wasting food in a way

[DinosaurStripClubLOL]

@vehlajatt22 You are just another fucking Idiot I hope you DIE!

[BansheePhoenix]

oh no i have swallowed so many angels ;-;

[maxmaxmaxmax35]

Is he serious?

If not i´m sorry for disliking.

[TheOJninja99]

at first i was like

>_< FFFFFUUUUUUUUU

but then i was like

LOLZ

[chainedtotheworld]

"blow Gideon's trumpet" LOL

[azur0x]

well sperms also get old inside of the gonads so the only way of not killing all this microscopic angels is if u got pregnant a woman at least every 2 weeks (rough estimate)

[KhetNiu]

As an atheist, I found this video easy to masturbate to.

[BrickerStudios]

Wait, so if you don't "sow your seed on a sheet" its not a sin?

[arayalrio]

lol, beating the devil.

[HelFKiernan]

lol @ praying away lefthandedness. and many other things in this vid. well done.

[alchemy5al]

is he serious or is this a joke

[toSTONEiGO]

@alchemy5al its a joke

[donavon]

@alchemy5al he pulled out a dildo for fucks sake

[curemymind]

hahaha funny stuff :)... But i don't think i will be calling you, you creep... I think i will keep spanking the monkey :)... Besides's i aked my seed and they said it was ok :)... They said its better then being traped in a fuck nut sack.. They was getting bored...

[DinosaurStripClubLOL]

@curemymind This video is a joke you fucking idiot peace of shit! And...:) why don't you...:) Stop doing....:) that "....:)" Shit you fucking cunt, its fucking stupid, it's retarded and it makes people think you're a ten year old girl. Now suck my dick.

[curemymind]

@DinosaurStripClubLOL Oh this is isn't real? Well fuck I didn't get that while going to his channel and saw he is a stand up comedian... And anyone with half a brain would see that I was joking. And your rant makes you the ten year old girl. Suck your dick? while thinking im a ten year old girl? what the fuck you fucking pedo...Grow the fuck up.

[DinosaurStripClubLOL]

@curemymind Holy FUCK That was awesome! Thank you so much :D!!!

[TheRandomView]

lol "blow Gideon's trumpet"

[wolffUSA97]

As an American this is one of the many resons other countries hate us (not because there"jelous" that were a "prosperous and christan countrie") it's because MOST of us ignorant.

[iseezapie]

@wolffUSA97 It's satire, i guess you were ignorant of that fact, ironic no?

[ProtestantsRUs]

What an idiot. There is nothing wrong with masturbation.

[kev1287]

@ProtestantsRUs THIS VIDEO IS NOT SARCASTIC. NOT ONE BIT. NOT EVEN A LITTLE. 0/100.

[DinosaurStripClubLOL]

@ProtestantsRUs You're an idiot. This video is SO OBVIOUSLY a joke, but you're retarded so what did I expect you to say idiot? Exactly, something gay and stupid, Fuck you.

[rbnsc1]

beating the demon. lol

[WFFMswimmer13]

Is he serious....or just a pedophile looking for young boys

[MrEmadshalabi]

@WFFMswimmer13 He isn't serious. Although the latter seems like a realistic assumption.

[martin101jc]

lol.

[Mela420Luna]

What the...............FUCK!

[stabmyflab]

Hahahah omg is this a troll video he is an idiot

[fuckmania07]

Atheists burn in hell forever !!!!

[martin101jc]

@fuckmania07 And those that judge will also be judged, to the same measure they used.

[iseezapie]

@fuckmania07 Oh how terrifying, i better discard all logic and reason at once and worship bronze age fables

[TheCjc100]

If you are left handed why cant you hold the bible in your left hand? Or is that a sin as well.

[volk1308]

3:37 I think that this older man would enjoy it, you know them catholic priests

[cymro5]

Hahahha, "If you're left handed ask your pastor what can be done about that..."

Comedy genius.

[thanksforthemessdick]

I missed the gag reflex before at the very end 4:50

[SuperBspb]

Sail Hatan

[katkatkittyxluv12]

FUCK AGAIN PEOPLE REALLY NEED TO STOP DELETEING MY COMMENTS!!!

[feetskeeter]

hey retards.... its a SATIRE!

[GIMPASAURUS]

It's funny your mother didn't mind me spilling my seed on her face

[GIMPASAURUS]

YOURE A FAGGOT

[brenthud2170]

@GIMPASAURUS 1. All caps = fail.

2. Put an apostrophe in "you're" and a period at the end of your sentence.

3. "Faggot" is a retarded insult.

4. You are stupid.

[katkatkittyxluv12]

@GIMPASAURUS yes he is

[GIMPASAURUS]

isn't jesus a masked superhero that goes around at night fighting evil idaho potatoes?

[MrEmadshalabi]

@GIMPASAURUS Are you talking about Michael Jackson?

[Shauni909]

"Beating the demon" new euphemism anyone?

[TheGsharpMajor]

=))

[Synizorz]

Satan, that is all.

[brenthud2170]

@Sethmyrrh "Your" and "you're" are not the same. Put that Bible down and go back to school.

[brenthud2170]

@Sethmyrrh Again, it should be "apparently you're too busy," not "apparently your too busy." Learn the difference between "you're" and "your," and come back when you've grown less retarded.

[RebelWrestler45]

@Sethmyrrh You really missed the fact that this is an OBVIOUS satire? Jeez, I didn't know children with Down's Syndrome were readily able to procure internet access.

[HonestDiscussioner]

@RebelWrestler45 Awww . . that Sethmyrrh guy took his comments down . . what did he say? Bet it was epic.

[thomaserossi]

@RebelWrestler45 - You're right! We should be anyone to death if they have Down's Sydrome! They don't deserve to live. They should be killed for the good of the tribe.

[Azmond0F]

@psburningman wait.... OMFG i just looked at the tags WOW i'm a fucking idiot.... this guy is a PARDOY?! ROFL OMFG i thought it was REAL!!! LOL!!!

[Jacob011]

OMG typical piece-of-shit treatment.

[crazytacostudios]

i just came to understand christianity, its loving, and helping, everyone around you. its devoting yourself caring, and not being selfish. the way i see it, it has nothing to do with our own bodies. we only live once, so we should enjoy what we have while we can

[Azmond0F]

oh wow this is PATHETIC ROFL War on Athieisim. An did he REALLY say PEEPS?! And is he REALLY wearing that crap? Oh my god, stupid is this guy! seriously!? just jerk off an enjoy it! Clean up the mess! LOL this guy. this guy is just pathetic, an bolsters my point on being an atheisit. x3

[psburningman]

@Azmond0F Dude.... its SATIRE !

[RobinRc666]

@Azmond0F that comment makes me sad

[Medzvetsky]

Hahaha he said "beating the demon" guess that's what they call it now days.

[fafehga]

ha ha ha!!!

[SuperBspb]

@fuckmania07 Cause that's what Jezus wants amright?

[charleswolfman]

Is this serious?

*realizes it isint serious*

Brilliant!

[prathage]

Coming to god, LOL!

[SuperTruth77]

Our local Priest openly lives with a woman- but repeatedly states that she is merely a ‘friend’.

In order to prove they don’t indulge in any sexual activity he’s had permanently transmitting webcams fitted all around his house, with free subscriptions for congregation members. Sometimes they sleep together, but merely in a ‘Godly embrace’.

I find it ironic that people will take God & the Bible on faith, but need technology to assure themselves their Priest relies on solo masturbation alone.

[TheDano1947]

You can't give a reasonable explanation why masturbation is a sin.

[dragonkeeper1]

its funny that Youtube put a dating agency advert on his video

[TitanNerd68]

@dragonkeeper1 And Christian Mingle, no less.

[Kabitu1]

Take notes everybody, this is how the pros hide a boner.

[MrEmadshalabi]

Typo on "congradulations." :/

[vigilance71]

lol



[JDPKRevolution]

This is comedy right?

[MrBossman44]

Sperm dies in your body anyway idiot

[rageagainsttheken]

is this a joke....this guys talking about giving his phone number to teenage boys so they can talk to him late at night? am i the only one who sees this not ending well?

[jmcg02908]

This is really useful for clergy who have a special obsession with young boys. As they point out, it is better for boys to turn to a clergyman when they feel those urges, isn't? They are there to help. lol

[oregonatheist]

i'm spilling my seed on your mom.....beating off..... with the demons.......pulling my pud for jesus.

[nems143]

very good with the play on words. nice

[cannibalcarrot666]

"blowing gideon's trumpet" brilliant haha

[Draginvry2]

Edward is the best.

[katkatkittyxluv12]

I don't get this. I'm an atheist but what side are you ON edward? Will someone please tell me? I never got that.

[MrEmadshalabi]

@katkatkittyxluv12 He's on the "atheist satirizing Abrahamic religions by posing as one of their adherents and exaggerating their beliefs and arguments to ridiculously fanatic degrees" side. He's just an atheist acting much worse than the stereotypically illiterate, insane, hillbilly, Mosaic Law conforming, intolerant monsters we all see in horror movies and top news stories. As if Christianity needed more notoriety on account of a bunch of lunatics donning it's title.

[riverdaleskl014]

is this a parody?

[HawkinsJeremiah94]

EVERY BOY SHOULD WATCH THIS AND BE SERIOUS! THAT WHEN I GOT THE URGE I LOOKED UP HOW TO RESIST MASTURBATION THIS WAS THE FIRST VIDEO ON THERE AND THIS CHANGED MY LIFE! SO THANK YOU FOR MAKING THAT VIDEO.

[ANBUspecialBlackops]

i watched porn after this. ahahaha

[bill56simon]

I dont think Ms.Current uses that just for masaging her back...



[Moosinat0r]

Not gonna lie, EdwardCurrent is probably the best satirist on teh topic of Christianity. Years ago I watched these videos and honestly took it for a serious attempt to make me become a good Christian. His jab at the ridiculousness of Christianity was identical to the actual attitude of radical Christians.

[iXaos7]

@Moosinat0r I'm pretty sure he's an atheist, not a satanist, and no ... not the same thing.

[Moosinat0r]

@iXaos7 Satirist. As in someone who makes fun and ridicules something. And yes, having grown up in the church and being taught in Catholic school, he could probably go in front of my old church and speak the way he does and no one would know they were being ridiculed.

[iXaos7]

@Moosinat0r Sorry, the ri looked like an n. My eyesight is goin' away. :P And yeah, a lot of Christians I see don't notice he's making fun, I find it hilarious.

[christianmendieta1]

Everyone beats their demon right? Haha lol I'm cuming toyou lord not the devil hahahaha

[ANBUspecialBlackops]

@christianmendieta1 at least 4 times a day

[MrKillianmcelroy]

Hahahaha. This is fucking perfect. Really.

[Andytheantiathiest]

masturbating is gross and evil.and is only for no good losers that wet the bed and hump trees

[flyersphan111]

@Andytheantiathiest Oh shit! I hate when I wet the bed! That obviously is a direct result of my tree-humping masturbation!

[DXhardy831]

lmao this is funny thought this was serious for a sec

[vampirehunter33]

Only solution is a pair of pliers. Just yank those balls and penis off be done with it

[mikethetallguy]

Why are you guys bashing him he is a good man. masturbation I learned is evil. Pornography is also very evil I shall try to not go and watch porn anymore.

[IHeartBrattyPets1212]

I'm Christian and I find this difficult to masturbate to

[DejaPoo909]

stupid christians

[MrEmadshalabi]

@DejaPoo909 The dumbest people here the ones who are too dense to notice he's a perverted atheist who has nothing better to do but ridicule Christians by acting like a brainless fanatic.

[pooppantsli]

@MrEmadshalabi Christians ARE brainless fanatics.

[MrEmadshalabi]

@pooppantsli Yes, the thousands of respected doctors, teachers, engineers, etc. in the world are indeed all brainless and fanatical. The most fanatic measure I've ever reached is acknowledging that there is a God, he is the Judeo-Christian God, and that I have to do what is morally right in order to gain everyone's favor, including his.

[pooppantsli]

@MrEmadshalabi First of all, I'm a doctor so I think I know a bit more about my colleagues than you. You're not trying to say all, or even a great number, of Dr.s, and engineers are christians are you? Because they're not. Do some research. Secondly, if you're looking for an example of professions with intellectual integrity you could probably do better than teachers. Fuck your false basis of morality. I'm not a christian, I don't live in constant fear of eternal hell, yet I act morally, dipshit

[MrEmadshalabi]

@pooppantsli I'm not trying to say that all are, but in a world where Christianity arguably is the largest mainstream religion there certainly would be multitudes of Christians who are both sound of mind and intelligent. That was my point.

[MrEmadshalabi]

@pooppantsli Many atheists seem to merely hear a few rare stories of a mentally unhinged minority of cultic lunatics, who manipulate simple religious creeds into irrational, destructive dogmas to vent their collective, underlying insanity as human beings and follow their own agendas. As a result, many atheists have completely forgotten about the typical, mentally stable majority of Christians that they have most likely associated with at some point of their lives.

[pooppantsli]

@MrEmadshalabi Whatever, save your breath. I was raised in a religious household and all of my immediate and extended family are highly religious so you don't need to lecture me on "typical, mentally stable" christians. They may otherwise be functional members of society, but the are, by definition, delusional and subscribe to fantastical thinking. Perhaps mindless fanatic isn't the best description, how about intellectually dishonest with a touch of cognitive dissonance.

[MrEmadshalabi]

poopantsli I'm personally more inclined to agree with you on the cognitive dissonance issue. But since this conversation has dragged on long enough and we both have apparently lost interest in the topic, I'll conclude it with this statement.

[pooppantsli]

@MrEmadshalabi Go stick your dick in a bible.

[MrEmadshalabi]

@pooppantsli How mature; an 'enlightened' doctor in his thirties who transcends the notion of believing God tells me to copulate with a millennia old religious book. What an highly educated, tactful, and non-inflamatory response... But in all seriousness, what offended you about my previous comment? All I was trying to do was be civil and conclude this without it spiralling out of hand. But now I sense a seething, endless, hate-rant coming along in response to this retort... Right?

[pooppantsli]

@MrEmadshalabi I thought you were concluding with your last statement. Looks like I made a liar out of you, bible fucker.

[MrEmadshalabi]

@pooppantsli Well, whoever said christians were infallible? Perhaps you did make me out to be a liar, but you also made an immature child of yourself, and this coming from someone who hasn't even reached age 18, earns a mediocre education in a intellectually primitive highschool infested with imbecilies, and just barely grasps the concept of maturity. So congrations on the pyyhric victory. Good night, and good riddance...

[pooppantsli]

@MrEmadshalabi *pyrrhic