God's amazing miracle - One good turn...

[InternetDarkLord]

So what miracle does God use on cloudy days?

[kalsolarUK]

@InternetDarkLord lol, God doesn't do miracles on cloudy days any more, he suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder. Yep, hes SAD.

[BrutusCass]

;-)

[TheAlexANGST]

You gotta think logically with that story. If God had actually stopped the Earth's rotation, and moved it backward, everything on Earth would just fly off, because the earth rotates at, approximately, 1000 Miles Per Hour... Interesting stories, huh?

[hartistry1957]

Didn't even finish it. This one is mocking God. That's where we christians draw the line. The only people that laugh at this, are of the same lot that banged on the closing doors of the arc of Noah. Peace.

[BlueEye222]

blasphemy is a victimless crime - all these stories highlight either gods non-existence or his unworthiness for worship

[hartistry1957]

Isn't great that you have this forum for your only purpose in life?

[creepiestdani]

I apologize. I wasn't in the best of moods.

[hartistry1957]

Thanks! Enjoy your day and give a random stranger a smile; you'll know who your real relatives are.

[sidewinderguy]

OH, hot damn, you sure did draw the line! Boy oh boy, that's one mean line-drawin' you done.

[sethmanrockandroll]

For the record, the earth is a "sphere" in God's word.

The Flat idea was once again, MAN's idea. It was a superstitious belief invented to explain how things taper off in the distance and it frightened sea men into not sailing too far.

Of coarse, the Bible is accused of inventing the flat concept, over a line where the earth is reffered to as "the flat creation".

"flat" is supposed to be read out like "plain", the plain creation as it is described in the proper expression.

[mattie690]

Wrong. The earth is not a "Sphere" is gods words. Not in the bible anywhere. Also GOD DIDNT WRITE THE BIBLE! MEN did. So whatever you say it is still in the words of men not god.

[sethmanrockandroll]

God wrote the Bible through the hand of several many writers scattered through out hundreds and thousands of years while miraculously staying faithful and consistent to all of the stories and facts there-in.

In addition to "circle" (in which you seem to be correct for the time being), the earth is also referred to with words like compass, compassing, encompass, etc. These would refer to the common curves and arches which would turn your ordinary circle into a sphere.

[mattie690]

the litteral translation is ring and not circle as found in most bibles these days.

Compass/compassing/encompass only refers to a circle not a sphere.

As usual the religious read far too much into things!

[rockbu5ter]

Anyone watching this skit wish to have a Bible study on any of the subjects being parodied just send a reply. Thanks

[SuperiorSavior]

DON'T YOU KNOW THAT THE SUN ORBITS THE WORLD? It says it clearly in the bible XDXDXD

[Jimbo8012]

This video is awesome especially the bit about Asbestos gloves and Weightlifters Powder. My favourite bit however is when God speaks to Hezekiah. Genius.

[kalsolarUK]

thanks for the comment, much appreciated.

[MarquisMongaga]

Mouahahahahaha! Lovely! Great stuff...

[pantherinbrazil]

man, you rock...funny shit!

[yashatono]

big frickin' deal...

i moved the sun 2 days ago. always in the fucking way.

damn tabloid piece of shit.

[J43fan]

ok well why dont you consider option 2? God did what he sadi and he told us about it. why is that unacceptable? i know you could say well if he moved the sun the whole universe would be thrown off and all that but who do you think made the universe? i dont think thats a problem.

[kalsolarUK]

yeah, god really likes to do things the hard way for some strange reason.

[J43fan]

God was just showing his absolute power and complete control over the universe

[mortemdei]

what for? is that not against freewill? or at least that's what christians allways tell me when I ask them why is that God don't prove his existens.

[J43fan]

he isnt going against free will just showing he can do anything

[mortemdei]

well, he would go against freewill if he reveles himself to us because that wouln't let us have faith (at least that's what christians say)

[J43fan]

well i dont know about thoese christians but no that doesnt mean anything. he has revealed himself to people who didnt belive so it doesnt make a big difference itss just a big encouragement to Christians when we realize God is so powerfull

[mortemdei]

if you say so

[J43fan]

yes yes i do and i have the Bible to back me. tell me are these "christians" you talk of methodist, Catholic, Lutherin, Baptists etc. what type of"christian" are we talking about here?

[mortemdei]

Not sure, are from youtube, I think they're the fundamentalist ones.

[J43fan]

well im not gonna say they are wrong on everything but this one they have messed up. Gods love was to big to not let us have free will. thats why we sinned. because we had free will.

[saintee1000]

hi sorry what verses do you cover here?

[kalsolarUK]

II Kings, 20:1 - 20:11

[saintee1000]

Cheers! Great vid by the way!

[blackprince84]

Brillant!  I am so glad you posted, I have been missing your wildly indignant bursts of common sense.

[RosieDesire]

LOL... all that and no donkeys :) Great vid.

[Nowitzki25]

how are Christians so dumb?

[Chumpsky]

To be fair, most of them accept that the Bible, as a text that has been added to, translated, edited, retranslated, dropped in the bath and rewritten from scratch is likely to be less than reliable.

[AzmodanKijur]

Great vid, KalsolarUK. I laughed :)

[JuciShockwave]

Fucking genius! XD Can't wait for more of your story telling. They're the best.

[iHillman]

i love these videos!

[kalsolarUK]

Thanks for your comments so far everyone, greatly appreciated!

[DaxterFan]

I died laughing at the end, another great video.

[Solarees]

yay

[EternalFire00]

I am so glad I am subscribed...

[Danmill23]

A treasured delight as always!

[ashboxtoo]

Funny stuff, always great :) thanks

[Avatra1]

Bloody brilliant!!

[nailo1]

2:18 *pause* oh oh doesnt he stop the earth or the sun or some shiite like that

[kalsolarUK]

ooo very close guess! In fact that is what he does do in one of the stories in the book of Joshua.

[laffer35]

Haha great!

[Gisburne2000]

Brilliant, as always!

[ogami72]

I hope you are at least going to the open mic nights at the local comedy club,you make me laugh more than almost any comedian I know...except Carlin.

[pornoopel]

the sun-moving routine really was a big miracle.. you need to remember that the earth was flat back in those days! ..placed on four poles..lol

[Darwinsgift]

Love your work! 5 stars ..... this is not worship by the way!

[lazymornings]

so let me get this correct, your saying that the bible is aload of old bullshit, therefore religion is a joke and millions of people are making a mistake.

YES,

I AGREE.

[Atheistblindchick]

Finally! Well worth the wait, 5/5 again.

So many funny observations, I'm still smiling. Thank you!

[kalsolarUK]

you're welcome! I had to upload it twice - I think god interfered with the upload the first time, but I managed to sneak it past him on the second attempt, phew!

[Atheistblindchick]

LOL

He's a right old fart, with no sense of humour. Reckon you might want to stay inside during thunderstorms from now on ;)

[Paxmax]

wow... think about them awesome tidal waves the "turn the globe" proposition holds!

Surfs UP!!!

It's funny it isn't mentioned by anyone else "the day" that the whole europe, mediterrianan and india had a longer day.

(and the delayed sunrise for the rest of the globe!)

Same thing about the Quran when Allah prolonged a day so they could fight some more.

(just can't get enough fighting done in a day can they)

[kalsolarUK]

lol, yep some very good observations there - also in the book of Joshua God makes the Sun stand still for almost an entire day for the same reason that Allah did. Plagarism?? Hmm? who knows, lol!

[CheezMonsterCrazy]

He coulda given them some nightvision goggles.

[Paxmax]

CheezMonsterCrazy: "He coulda given them some nightvision goggles"

HAahahahaaha!!

Well... what can you say, god does things "the hard way", upsetting the entire planet for the sake of one person!

[Paxmax]

Haahaa "giant astbestos gloves" yeah... I can imagine them serious oven mits on the bearded sky daddy.

Great story man!

[DeletedDelusion]

Pure awesomeness.

Thank you for creating this excellent video.

[Solarees]

lol

[joeyoap]

"after all this is going in the bible,what do you expect common sense" Best line I've heard in a long time.

[lamnaa]

Why the cheap little, I bet Moses' stick only turned into a slowworm. Probably buried a propane tank under the burning bush as well. Daniel was probably thrown to the cats.

[andwar99]

Heh heh.

[Hooya2]

Lol God's pissing himself laughing--when I heard that, I pissed myself laughing.

...I'm gonna go change pants.

[kalsolarUK]

I have to change mine too now I've just read that. lol.

[systemscrash]

Nice vid, I liked it very much.