Doofus Chilean Miner Stuck Down There Again

[cellm823]

the food chain made me laugh my ass off

[lukeiamyourfaja]

Cross species dietary free for all occur at McDonalds every day, I dont see the big deal.

[randomfriendlyguy]

LOLOLOLOLOLLOL "she has no peers" made my night :)

[lukeiamyourfaja]

this world sucks, its time for a new one.

[FieldMarshalRommel23]

If you see a kid getting raped, don't call the police; capture the rapist and get the power tools out!

[ThreeDaysOfDan]

@FieldMarshalRommel23 nah throw his ass in prison, the prisoners don't need power tools, just some slippery soap ;P

[greiteneis]

@ThreeDaysOfDan Rapist don't deserve prison astroglide.

[emenentia]

At first i thought the Nissan commercial was part of the video.... catching the plane and all.

[MultiSdgsg]

Pause at 1:06 and read.

[ski4life19]

@MultiSdgsg Wow was just about to write the same thing. Onion is fucking hilarious

[xijnnijx]

haha pause it and look at the food chain chart xD

[PR0T0P0WER]

43 people live in Chicago.

CUBS SUCK!!!

[PR0T0P0WER]

too bad theres not 4 million people in St. Louis.

[JonathanHallShow]

2:10 YouTube?

[DeafeningSirens]

The Onion does it again. Very clever writing.

[BrigitteAbbendis]

Better ship them our free market economists and prop up another repressive dictatorship... After all, an economy where their primary export is from their Communised mines is hardly a paragon of Capitalism is it? They need a Phillip Morris or a Coca-cola or a Lockheed Martin - now there are some companies that value independence from the government.

[WhoaKaela]

I thought this was fake until they mentioned how Meryl Streep can't be tried because she has no peers. That's very real.

[SpraxIAKS]

@WhoaKaela I STILL don't know who she is.

[WhoaKaela]

@SpraxIAKS Thats because youre probably very young.

[JohnnyFixate]

LMAO. the frog @ 1:04 "this little fucker looks like he's thinking about eating a cheetah"

[elk832]

2:00 In most states, an 18 year old having safe, consensual sex with a knowing, willing, and able 17 year old would be considered rape. You're going to call the cops for that? What the fuck Onion?

[laputadetumadre11]

@elk832 wooosshhh someone is too stupid to "get it"

hint: they are talking about 10 year old boys. But I guess there is always someone too stupid to understand things.

[elk832]

@laputadetumadre11 someone who obviously didn't "get" my comment is talking to me about not understanding The Onion? Oh, the irony.

[laputadetumadre11]

@elk832 oh right,the whole "say something stupid,then claim you were being sarcastic" yup,haven't heard that one before.

[elk832]

@laputadetumadre11

>implying that isn't exactly what you're doing

.____.

[laputadetumadre11]

@elk832 that doesn't even make sense. Oh right,when you look stupid,you say nonsense and pretend not to understand.

[elk832]

@laputadetumadre11 Your pathetic attempt to save face is getting really sad. Why not just admit you were too eager to call someone stupid and jumped the gun?

[laputadetumadre11]

@elk832 "Saving face" doesn't mean what you think it means moron. I'm done arguing with a bronie faggot with a pony on his profile,that's proof enough you are fucked up in the head. Not one thing you've said is coherent. Bye.

[elk832]

@laputadetumadre11 "Saving face" is when you look like an ass and then try to redeem yourself through negative or positive means. You fit the bill just fine seeing as YOU picked a bone with a comment you didn't understand, and then tried to justify it.

I find it funny that you associate enjoying good television with poor mental health. It takes balls to say that when you can't even decipher plain, simple English. That makes this conversation that much more hilarious.

[elk832]

@laputadetumadre11 In this really is the end of our back-and-forth, I need to apologize. Making an overly literal, sarcastic comment on an already satirical video is just too much for people like you to handle. I'll be more careful in the future so that you and others with your limited comprehension can understand my comments.

[guitarmatt94]

uhhh the onion is so lame now..cant stand the voice on these weekly reviews

[Natedawg422]

I was going to say something political about middle eastern countries that have had way too much support from foreign countries, but then I thought, "Fuck it! Let them sort out their own damn problems!" oops...

[LoopInc]

lol dietary free for all

[mcc11505]

i used to get so mad in school when bullies called me doofus......HEHE

[hexocain]

"as she has no peers" rofl

[domboughnique]

The onion isn't what it used be, I kinda don't get it anymore. Still funny though

[rctriplefresh5]

whe nthey were talking about the food chain thing they mentioned the deer devouring on squirrels lie that is weird..i would thin a deer would be above squirrels in the food chain?

[evetteissofly]

i'm so glad they switched the voice for these videos. much better.

[StephensStuff]

"This cow probably just ingested an entire hippopotamus" O_O Damn nature you scary!

[krunkaintdead69]

1:08 - hahahaha

[MiketotheIke]

water now included in food chain. lmao

[InternalCompass]

You speak blasphemy Sir!

Meryl Streep is a Goddess - You must respect her and heed the warning not to speak ill of her as it is the one, clear, first step to initiate the apocalypse.

[Mineav]

1:06

"Little fucker looks like he's thinking about eating a cheetah."

xD

[caboosefanatic]

1:07 little fucker looks like he's thinking about eating a cheetah lol

[jedihunter176]

NASA got the moon?

North Korea's going to be pissed.

[mafarmerga]

How do I get a copy of the food chain chart at 1:04 for my biology class?

[Xerxes4242]

@mafarmerga I'd recommend "prtscn" followed by "ctrl-v" followed by "ctrl-p"

[Laretheman]

I'm a doofus and I'm offended by this.

[Articorse]

Thumbs up if you paused the video at 1:04 to read all the text on the food chain diagram.

[HoneyBadgerHera]

The best thing they did was to change the voice-over guy in these reviews! All in this world is right again.. kinda.

[VasjaStankovic]

Cross species dietary free-for-all?

Count me in!

[BrandonAngelDragon]

Nasa obtains the moon? I thought North Korea did in a previous Onion report.

[TheOriginalPoopBalls]

@BrandonAngelDragon good memory

[awdrifter3]

@BrandonAngelDragon NASA obviously stole it from the Korean.

[sp3nc3r42]

Sometimes late at night i cover my self in vaseline and pretend im a slug

[TheOriginalPoopBalls]

@sp3nc3r42 and i am glad ppeople like u exist

[DickCheneyXX]

Snitching is worst than rape.

[w9j15g]

@DickCheneyXX What made your comment great was your user name. You are probably really him.

[moosestashe]

2:28 love the mwi reference in the end

[williamkendrick]

EVERYTHING is more accurate then fox.

[andrespereyda]

YAE!!! quantum physics!

[plmukzx]

“Look on helpless in abject horror over what your world has become”

[Qwerty0791]

What is our world coming to when our nation's 10 year old boys need to host a formal press conference to remind our over-funded university sports programs that debunk traditional academic standards when it comes to education that its coaches -also- cannot get away with sexual crimes?

[ShootTheOldDude]

This segment has clearly matured into a worthy component for the onion

[ffsnametaken]

I want a copy of that food chain.

[EyequeenCasskulla]

Hey, that dj has the same equipment as my school. :O :)

[matenzo]

hahahah the Meryl Steep one cracked me up

[lShishkaBerryl]

brilliance

[ayayay111]

IS THIS REAL NEWS? FUCK YOU AMERICA

[WH012Vids]

@ayayay111 obviously not real.. come on now.

[videohero1000]

@ayayay111 not real

[MrClaytable]

@ayayay111 For the sake of your mental health, I hope you weren't being serious.

[ayayay111]

@MrClaytable for the sake of america i hope it's not.

[MrClaytable]

@ayayay111 obviously not

[laputadetumadre11]

@ayayay111 fuck u 2 homo faggot

[JOZZYmusic]

So many good points made in this video.

[TheDrum808]

1:04 - Water is now a part of the food chain. Also, that cow ingested an entire hippopatimus.

[chonitodancer]

The food chart had me rolling out of my bed laughing! Water is now on the food chart and sharks now extinct after being eaten by coral reef! omg! too much! saw this 4 times already and still can't get enough!

[ThisIsNotPictureTube]

the ending blew my mind...

[Superfresh602]

lmfao look at the graph water is now included in food chain and the frog is a little fucker that could eat a cheetah

[BrendanIsCool]

"quote from new food chain"

[egakiar444]

I like how the Onion delivers a completely reasonable and relevant scolding of the Penn State officials involved in the scandal. There was even less humor in it than they normally have in their bits, they're just like look guys, what the fuck is wrong with you.

[Revan8888]

@egakiar444

I don't live in the states, what scandal... and don't tell me any of the "incorrect responses" occured 1:43

[GamerSipes]

"Look, they're just going to have to deal with this themselves, because we are out of there come January" ... Best line ever!!

[haymaker710]

What did the hipster say abouth the Chilean miners?

I liked them better when they wwere underground.

[Ledwix]

Cross-species dietary free-for-all....hahhaaha

[sakura101avalon]

The many-universes joke! HAHA! 

[ItsBiwiPwice]

Ahh The Onion. I don't think I've ever not laughed at one

[Jeremiah2450]

I can't call the police, Im on my way to Starbucks, maybe later

[FFreeLevant]

This is slowly becoming my favourite ONN segment

[MinotawrTV]

Lions aren't felines, they're panthera. BAD SCIENCE! I'm telling the teacher.

[djtoolhead]

TOOOOO SOOOOOON

[LordPrick]

A Black Guy Named "Lloyd"??? He Looks Like MATTHEW GOOD... Weird... I Guess All That Lame-Ass Vancouver "G-Rock" Was Only Just A Phase In His Quest For World Domination AS An Escaped Gorilla.

[Shenaniganschalbeezy]

Is some shit we don't have to fucking deal with lol

[carehappens]

Garbage. Not funny at all. Cynical, yes!

[darkshotmaker]

@carehappens I don't know. being a marine, that first statement was hilarious

[hoosierhiver]

Meryl Streep should be thrown in water to see if she floats.

[SlipAllCityToy]

"Assuming the many universes theory of quantum mechanics is accurate, the review you have just seen will remain relevant in an other reality for all eternity"

I'm so sorry for quoting the video

But I just had to, I completely lost my shit

[androidgecko]

Brilliant, though fucking BRUTAL! I love it!

[ViolentRiC]

Still more accurate than Fox.

[nuke21]

@ViolentRiC Fox news is republican just like Onion news you fucking moron. Did your liberal dad tell you to say that?

[KezzKezzan]

@nuke21 oh man

I hope you're being serious

Please tell me you're serious.

[Xerxes4242]

@KezzKezzan Nah... just trolling

[Xerxes4242]

@nuke21 To troll successfully, you need at least SOME semblance of truth:/

[Xezatt]

@ViolentRiC Fox is more accurate, you dumbass

[GypsyLeah]

@Xezatt No. It's not. 

[Xezatt]

@GypsyLeah go fuck yourself

[GypsyLeah]

@Xezatt No, I won't.

[ps3specter]

1:31 Best part of these by far.

[wowspare]

Frog: Little fucker looks like he's thinking about eating a cheetah.

XD

[Fatblacksheep420]

in some shit we still have to fucking deal with hahahaha

[bustybossoms]

Nasa aquires the moon. lawl

[MaxBlight]

"Lion could end up anywhere in this damn thing now"

LOL best part of the food chain.

[Filecreator]

Oh woaw, quantum mechanics screwed up some universe out there, if this shit is real somewhere XD

[crashlight1]

I'll post a comment as soon as I stop laughing...

[Finiras]

the best news channel ever.

[ravenabstraction]

heh, this was my favorite out of ALL OF THEM!

[Mumajii]

Meryl Streep has no peers.

Too epic.

[OnlyKoolaid]

30 People are not on the food chain and were replaced with coral reef. ಠ_ಠ

[jeremyshambles]

spot on about m streep, she s on a whole other level..

[Slikviq]

little fucker looks like hes thinking about eating a cheetah

[stillw3]

a radio dj invites the whoel town for soem bullshit :)))...

[stillw3]

0:50 lol

[nomoreheroes93]

I want to live in the Onion universe, I've heard it's a multi-layered experience..

[ipekatomang]

"human just lucky not to wind up at the bottom of this chart" ...just rich

[sladerfoster]

thumbs up if im a gay faggot who likes it in the anus

[royalpanthera7]

@sladerfoster How do you think this would get any likes?

[thatissocool123]

lol at "what to do when witnessing a 10-year-old boy being raped"

~go eat lunch then call the police~

~convince yourself nothing happened~

LOL!!

[grandeTO9]

Thumbs up if you're the 310th viewer!

[grandeTO9]

Best "Week in Review" ever!

[robotpanda77]

Oreos are now the dominant species on the planet.

[zowxon]

Oh, goody. A lame "week in review" medley of boring horse shit with a misleading title. Thanks a billion.

[Nextel025]

I want that food chain pic in high res

[ReeceLeonard]

The Meryl Streep joke was brilliant. That lady is in a league of her own.

[Pseudonym10]

Meryl Streep has no peers.

[nuderedfinger]

I love how you don't give a crap about your tags X)

[TroyTastical]

I've been to Saint Louis I agree

[GabsBlabsTV]

Apparently little boys know more s**t than Joe Paterno.

[MrGuyfella]

Brill.

Eee.

Ant.

[culwin]

Little fucker looks like he's thinking about eating a cheetah

[brod2man]

The Osprey King; Simba's Demise

[ArtypNk]

LOLOLOLO!!! Full size food chain chart please!

[Shinray1kuo]

@ArtypNk onionDOTcom/articles/osprey-de­vours-lion-in-massive-foodchai­n-shakeup,26773/

[Reu360]

I made that same "many universes" joke a week ago.

[06Perseus]

The lion is so fake xD. Its starting to scare me how many people actually believe this.

[davezbetter]

@06Perseus ... no one believes this.

[nisbahmumtaz909]

@davezbetter

It's actually real.

I feel really bad for the poor fucker who is too cynical to see the clarity and truth that is The Onion.

[06Perseus]

@davezbetter Sorry, I ment just The Onion in general. I kinda typed it wrong there.

[biglincolnman]

I kinda miss some of the old stuff they did, and I'm not a huge fan of the whole Brooke Alvarez thing, but these are getting pretty funny.

[evannati]

ok this has 310 views and the top comment has 173 thumbs up. some1 is fucking with this page

[totalsextacy]

"Water now included in food chain" hahaha

[shshshooKya]

best episode in awhile

[HomieG75]

I need to stop watching Onion news. I keep thinking that these stories are real.

[StreetDoggydog1995]

I used to be a chilean miner..... then i took an arrow to the knee

[AmericanNohbuddy]

@StreetDoggydog1995

Wow you're original.

[alfredoking14]

pause at 1:04 hahah.

[Chucktanium]

Saying there's new jobs in St. Luis reminds me of when my dad would tell me that he "bought ice cream today, but I already shit it out"

[TheCrimsonification]

The "Food Chain" chart is fucking funny. Frog: This little fucker looks like he's thinking about eating a cheetah." XD

[johnnytastetest]

"Cross-species dietary free-for-all."

Ha ha.

[DaFawky]

Osprey takes place as new king of the jungle.

[mrbadx19]

i could use next friday's megamillion numbers...

[expIorer5148]

I'm glad i wasn't invited to some bullshit.

[MaicoMoon]

lol, pause the video and read the food chain shakeup poster, it's fucking hilarious. They should sell it.

[Arnold2Waldo]

Did anyone else pause on that food chain?! that shit is too funny hahaha

[MrVulgaris]

@Arnold2Waldo "Little fucker looks like he's thinking about eating a cheetah" is my fave :)

[windu1990]

This news beat was OMG

[MsNicoleGoff]

Somebody saw Happy Feet 2...the krill storyline was the best part of the movie.

[Asakurafan]

Seems legit