Man Lives Thanks To Heart Stolen From Dead Man

[Parz1fal]

I´m a heavy smoker and a coffee addict. Í´m really just as "grateful" as this guy that there are selfless, donating people like Megan (still) living. <3

[TuRkmEnOkaN]

@Parz1fal

its needed cause of faggots like you



[Parz1fal]

@TuRkmEnOkaN Thank the Lord that the health care system provides faggots all they need. The Turks, on the other hand, can die, nobody likes them anyway

[TuRkmEnOkaN]

@Parz1fal

ive got a good plan for a dumbass like you, stop smoking stop drinking coffee get some fitness, save the heart of a poor bastard and shut the fuck up.

sounds good doesnt it?

and why begin about my race? i didnt start about americans so save the racism crap.

[Parz1fal]

@TuRkmEnOkaN I will even do heavy drugs now so that doctors will someday have a reason to provide me with healthy organs of some health pussy fags from Turkey

[Parz1fal]

@TuRkmEnOkaN Why waste my sex thirsty anus on one of your shitty Turkish dildos. I'd still have to do all the work. I rather lie down, eating, smoking and having a coffee from time to time while an American vibrator does all the work (or some Turkish fag who promotes dildos)

[lukethegreat101]

@Parz1fal begone troll...u r as unwanted here as u are in your real life.

[Parz1fal]

@lukethegreat101 I want your liver... with a fine glass of Cianti

[MrBunnyWasHereFirst]

@lauraisbob17 It's satire, get over it.

[FriedChickenStrips]

Just making him feel like shit!! (:

[TheYouwontgetit]

today now is my favourite show...

[xxxMMAkidxxx]

This is so funny lol i love TODAY NOW!!

[Bo0oMz]

epic awkwardness @ 01:47

[Bo0oMz]

even the clip titles are hilarious!!!

[juggalodarkclown]

subscribed!!! 

[W1llpow3r2]

Eh, Didn't like this one so much.



[IanC29]

stupid barely funny

[periesicsd]

This video is most popular with:

Gender  Age

Male 25-34

Male 18-24

Male 45-54

I wonder why our women don't find this funny?!

[redmrlove13]

@periesicsd Because they don't have a sense of humor?

[ogjoec]

@periesicsd They think its real?

[theapollomoonlanding]

@periesicsd Women don't have a sense of humor, until you get them drunk. And, because their is nothing in it for them.

[Aaronmaggedon]

Rofl the passive aggressiveness is so delicious!

[ETthomehome]

oh man, they are heartless

[lordkomodo123]

Hahahahahaahahahahahahhahahhah­hah holy shit it's so cruel yet sooo funny

[vortex975]

I wana see them throw knives at kid magicians!

[ArcTerVic]

I could actually feel the awkwardness floating in the air

[9Godslayer]

@ArcTerVic Feel it? I could see it.

[Uratashi]

I had a liver transplant, and I'm not even allowed to know the dead guy's name, or even how he died, etc.

[nejihyuga901]

Lol, this was hilarious I love how they portray the sense of guilt XD

[DodgeChargerSRX]

This reminds me strangely of Dr. Phil...

[awwhellnogadammit]

lotsa dumbfucks on this thread!

[evaisepicful]

that's exactly how those asshole hosts treat people on real talk shows.

[keishababe100]

omg mean dicks

[hastyvictories]

isn't he the same man from the Ant-eater video? o.O

[095034006]

this guy isn't even sorry!

[andreealaza]

stupid programme and stupid host.

[Bio21Hazard]

this is so stupid... i was the one who received Greg Halton's heart

[YajirobiforReal]

What a loser. They shouldn''t give hearts from people who make an effort to stay in shape to fat-ass couch potatoes like that slob.

[lordbrixo]

@YajirobiforReal This is Satire.

[ahjinomoto]

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKWARD!!!­!!!!!!

[rameen007]

is this show real or there just fucking around

[conciousness88]

@rameen007 its a satirical news network

[rameen007]

@conciousness88 okay!!

[rameen007]

@conciousness88 this looks like a fag

[conciousness88]

@rameen007 what looks like a fag? the account name? fuckin idiot.

[rameen007]

@conciousness88 your moms an idiot the fat guy looks like a fag

[lordbrixo]

@rameen007 It is Social Satire.

[rameen007]

@lordbrixo this is Social gay.

[lordbrixo]

@rameen007 That is a really ignorant comment. It parodies the modern day government and life of Americans. It may not seem this way but, it is very intellectual humor. Few appreciate the intellectual humor of it.

[ZomGKiwI]

xDDDDDD oh god thats so terrible!!!

[Inky222]

LMFAO, I love Dave's face reactions. Priceless.

[RealFutureStar33]

Are the people the interview fake as well or are they real.

[Gubbywubby]

@RealFutureStar33 Fake. At least... I'm almost certain that they're fake!

[Orion8888888]

I really hate most TV jurnalists, because they turn into disgusting shows, humman tragedy and terror, in order to achive higher ratings and sell more products, they often twist and bend the truth to meet the political and financial benefits of their superiors.That's why i love the onion news -- it illustrates how TV news would look like, if you watched it without it's "serious" and "big television network integrity" coating.

[PandasLikeBamboo]

"This must be almost a magical moment for the two of you." *Annoyed stares*

[roselove007]

Omg the host is so mean what he said some one could be after your hart or your covering something What a dic

[Rainbow123Luv]

@askesl don't be such a asshole about this it's for our entertainment so take your broke ass home and tell it to yo mama 'cuz shes the only one that want to hear you bitch

[dandaman62]

Aww, I wanted to see them throw knives at child magicians...

[DeviousBetrayer]

I want to throw knives at child magicians too!

[brendameistar]

"real life frankenstein monster's 'greatful'," lol

[xRaIDeNx69]

Damn; I actually believed this and then noticed that this was posted by the Onoin...

[icantfindausernameno]

their stuff looks so big budget

[schnizelcreep]

@icantfindausernameno prolly all CGI

[icantfindausernameno]

@schnizelcreep yh most likely, i wonder if they get paid to make youtube vids

[sk8fiilmer69]

This is the dumbest show...these people really need a life...because its obviously lost somewhere

[wootsh33p]

@sk8fiilmer69

Stop hating mate.

[AlextheTitan]

@sk8fiilmer69 It's satirical smart guy.

[UriYeS]

that man's epression bothers me...

[Hopefulfilment]

I thought the twist was gonna be that the donor died from removing his hart, without being wounded in the first place... I mean, if you take somebodies heart out hes gonna die, the moral thing then would to at least put it to good use... I guess.. eh...

[derobmai]

41 ook wanted to throw knives at the children magician

[TheKHUE]

they should put a warning that this is a parody. ppl would fall for it

[celestialsalamander]

so wait did he actualy kill the guy or was it just a normal organ donation?

[Heimdalll]

We're gonna be throwing knives at child magicians. Hahaha

[hiothezebra]

"real life frankenstiens monster grateful" lmao!

[MsSunhappy]

poor dave, he looked so bewildered xD

[Ace4929]

this reminds me of the one where the firefighter gives his life to save the unremarkable kid

[katerinahejdova]

taky doporučuju prozkoumat solar plexus.

[katerinahejdova]

moje srdce bije, aby pumpovalo do těla okysličenou krev. o emoce se stará moje nervová soustava, do níž patří i můj mozek coby jeho centrální orgán.

[katerinahejdova]

moje srdce bije, aby pumpovalo do těla okysličenou krev.

[shaskies]

Is this show fake? ..i cant be real..!

?

[votumseparatum1]

@shaskies Yes it's fake.

[TheBrokenchalk13]

those two are my favret out of evry othe acter how do the keep a strait face

[cherboi101]

so funny

[trulynot]

Dont go away because we going to be throwing knives at child magicians..

[787310]

hahah the dudes like wtf

[xXEnkeixpressXx]

lol

[DreadBrandX]

Oh my god I cant stop laughing lol

[donuthead551]

Real-Life Frankenstein's "Grateful"

[MrCoMbAtArMsReViEwEr]

today now is teh worst show in teh world if u wont to make fun of someone make fun of your self yo dude with the new haret i now it was tought talking on via satlight i have had the same thing done to me and i no how u feel man

[Fistbeardthepirate]

"i'm just happy that...Gregs heart has brought somebody else life" *looks down*...hahaha that is just spot on acting there

[OmfgDef]

XD 1:48

[LaytonTheWookie]

The piont is that if dave has gregs beating heart inside of him, Greg wouldn't have died in the first place...

[TheCrawler333]

Today Now! >The early show

Today Now! >Good morning America

Today Now! >Today show

The Onion >NBC+CBS+ABC

The onion=america's finest news source

[JeeRaph]

@TheCrawler333 You left out "Therefore". You need a "therefore" to be taken seriously.

[Mezey5]

"Real Life Frankenstein's Monster "Grateful"

[georgethetraceur]

@Mezey5 Yea I was pissin myself with laughter when i saw that xD

[chh5555]

You guys nail everything!!! The graphics, the music and the acting is absolutely spot on.....ART!!!!!

[jpelczar]

Once I found bag of human kidneys so I sold them to the Russian mafia.

[DogSoldierFury]

Magical = Awkwaaaard.

[Outragedjoker]

hahaha

[cjpolodo]

How come we're not allowed to see the next segment, I wanted to see the magicians turn knives into human blood!

[ManintheArmor]

Dead Man saves the day, once again! :D

[viking977]

why is onion just playing fox news clips now?

[TotalGraffiti]

@viking977

cause FOX is full of shit

[samauripizzacats101]

@TotalGraffiti as opposed to cnn or msnbc?

[TotalGraffiti]

@samauripizzacats101

FOX makes a mountain out of a hill for every fucking thing.

[dalexispe]

"watch out magan, there are people like dave here who are after your HEART! " LMAO!!

[eBay7230]

OMG they are so mean to him. this is very disrespectful. It is not his fault

[smoovegriz]

Know wonder they call it the Onion because I CRY WHEN I LAUGH

[Nyarl3]

Man, how awesome would it be if this were a daily morning show!

[LawngCat]

Aww, poor Dave.

[welovenatnalex]

bahahaha I love the Onion

[youknow5z5]

Ha throwing knives at child magicians!

[thinklarge21]

haha watch out there many be people like Dave, who want your heart hahahaha

[UPSIPO]

The TV Acors are assholes. It is like the guy is at fault for Gregs death?

[dafneec]

@UPSIPO It's not real. (: 

[gardnerbm]

"Your leaving somthing out, Dave"

[wiionline1992]

wow guilt trip

[petey815]

that greg guy kinda looks like brett erlich

[gratscot]

Haha, I absolutely love the onion, this is awsome.

[koffeekage]

"Real life Frankenstein monster is grateful "@ 1:47

[mexicanmusicfreak]

hahaha WTF!!

[TheBipolarBeaver]

Lmao the guy must be so fucked off

LOL @ "watch out megan there people maybe here like dave he want your heart"

it shows the picture of dave...Lmao

[jessicalilac]

theonion is epicness

[carpediem081]

You people are retards. Organ transplants from dead people happen all the time in the real world.

[PlanetsHockey9]

Watch out! there are people like Dave here who will steal your heart! hahaha

[bollocks2who]

There are people like dave here, who maybe after your heart!!! LOL!!

[Skydance1110]

@bollocks2who You know taken out of context that's... strangely romantic. D=

[narutofan81194]

@bollocks2who I knew the secound i herd that, it would be the highest rated comment!!! LMAO XD

[SUPERBUNNYISM]

one thing ... they already do that .. they save the cadavers [ with the organs being perseverd for an opperatoin later on ] and use them for transplants such as heart , kidney , sometimes even blood [ but rarley ] etc. and by persvering them they can put them in a already working body and they work [ 5 out of 7 times they work ] ... but if the cadaver [ dead body ] is to old they cant use it ...... and another thing its soo sad they made him feel glity haha .... and yes i know its fake

[MewingFugur]

Wow,so awkward!

[dippinshitty]

1:50 rotflol omfg

[hitman287]

"Throwing Knifes at child Magicians" lol 

[revolt1492]

I have the heart of a child ... beating in my chest!

[argozempo]

It raises the spirits a bit to know that medical science has made it possible for an ungrateful, nonmagnanimous, do-nothing, low-life heart thief to receive the gift of life.

[nickrohn93]

@argozempo You are kidding right?

[argozempo]

@nickrohn93 Excuse me, waiter? CHECK PLEASE!!!!

[XiseAngel]

"watch out megan, there may be people like dave here, who may be after your heart"...dave is like wtf...

[mvtdeassis]

Real-Life Frankenstein's Monster 'Grateful'

Hahahah totally funny

[asdasasefasd]

hey? what happend to the begenning to today now?....its diffrent

[xLoLaTVx]

i reallly love reading the comments fom people who think this is real

[CiaraLovesDamon]

Stupid ppl thinking its real..-.- tis veryyy funny :D!

[rss22]

One word....UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!

[TheMacNazi]

they should have said something like the reason you contracted this disease was due to poor choice of lifestyle and now you have stolen a mans heart

[Mimo10s]

We're gonna be throwing knifes at children...

I took out magician. :)

[hahayousuckable]

Watch out Megan, there might be people out there like Dave looking for YOUR heart... LOL

[brandonplaysguitar16]

How disrespectful! This program just attacked this man for a donation he didn't ask for!

[thegreatbrettano]

@brandonplaysguitar16 its a joke retard

[phaloxxx]

@thegreatbrettano oh my god hahahah the best t hing about the onion by far is retards like that hey

[SergeantJonny]

@brandonplaysguitar16 Lol you know this is fake right?

[k3ls0cl4ncy2]

@SergeantJonny

Eh, this guy has been stupid on a couple Onion videos. He's probably just a troll.

[Gewath]

The shortened title: "Man lives thanks to heart". 

[Aussiegirl265]

Because joining us via satellite is Megan Halten, the dead man's widow.

BHAHAHAHA this show is hilarious.

[springfairy556]

For some reason, I don't like those two talk show hosts.They annoy me.

[jsimmons12]

@springfairy556 They're not talk show hosts. They're actors. This is a parody!

[bobbie4]

Poor Dave....... He looks so heartbroken near the end of the clip.

[BeatrixLocket]

That threat at the end made it awesome

[RedDaggerXL]

I bet that guy would've lived if his heart wasn't taken out of his body xD

[omgitsspanky]

id b swingin on both of em

[CobraGMW2]

i lost the game

[Shom42]

@CobraGMW2 I lost.

[diva4life616]

@CobraGMW2 @Shom42 ugh dang....yeah me too. way2go.

[Thyrfing84]

Real-Life Frankenstein's Monster 'Grateful' lol

Great. Now if I ever need a transplant, this is how I will view myself. XD

[JCBiden]

Heart was Taken From Loving Father

Laughed so hard if I had pizza, I would've choked. *wink*

[PaoloRi95]

lolololol they are so straight ... I know its fake but its so funny xD

[Waiata]

Is this show real? So dirty

[MrGish1]

At least it was not half a dead man, if ya know what I mean

[helloimtom100]

man how many freaken times did they say deadman's heart, lmao

[oddvidios]

i lost the game

[brendanrivers]

i lost the game

[andyllamanipl]

All of you just lost the game.

[Kaulen777]

You bastard!