Episode D3 - Fear of dying

[trilobites4truth]

Well, you did a great job on this... To bad that it has been votebotted... Humanity should lisen to messages like this!

[rozeboosje]

Thank you

[dashbyan]

I really am enjoying this series. The music you picked, and the scenes work together so well. Thanks, this must have been a lot of work, but they turned out excellent.

[rozeboosje]

thanks

[shas1814]

I'd like to say a couple things more- (If you want me to say less, just let me know) 1- I've been terminally ill for some time and have had two "NDEs". If these can reliably be extrapolated to the experience of dying, I found it to be very strange, a bit apprehensive (like starting, say, a roller coaster ride), physically unpleasant, and a bit exciting. 2- Dying people want, need, and deserve the chance to TALK about it. Chirpy, determinedly cheerful negation is damned frustrating.

[rozeboosje]

Exactly. We ARE going to die, and there is no denying that.

I am, of course, trying to find a measure of solace in the fact. Realising that death is nothing to fear, that an eternal existence would be horrific, etc, etc. But there is also the undeniable fact that many of us die long before they feel ready for that, and there is genuine fear to be felt for what you leave behind, how those you love are going to cope and so on. Denying that would be stupid.

[shas1814]

BTW, I was a christian pastor for 35 years

and because I would accept no money for that

I was a paramedic and counsellor.

I've seen quite a few people die

and in my experience

the religious folks tended to go out with far more fear

than atheistic folks.

[rozeboosje]

That doesn't surprise me. What about agnostics - and I don't mean agnostic atheists, but those who have recently let go of a theistic belief system and who haven't quite realised that the existence or non-existence of their former god is not a 50/50 proposition? Have you any experience seeing such people die?

[shas1814]

That's a thoughtful and thought-provoking question.

I wish I could give you a good answer.

I just cannot think of enough people in that situation

that I've had experience with.

Unfortunately, it was not until I retired

that I became an atheist myself;

I'm afraid I would not have been

sensitive to that situation at the time.

I can say that "nominal Christians" and "backsliders"

were almost unanimously terrified of dying.

[rozeboosje]

Again, I'm not surprised about the "nominal Christians". What's a "backslider", though?

[shas1814]

Oh, backsliders are the backbone of the church :=)

A backslider is a Christian whose willful actions

are contrary to church doctrine.

A man who firmly believed divorce and remarriage to be sin,

yet who has left his wife and married another.

The Bible is quite scathing and threatening toward such folk

and they tend to expect bitter retribution after death.

I've had gentle men confide fearfully to me

that they are "living in sin"

because they have been lovingly remarried for thirty years.

[rozeboosje]

Oh yeah. I know a lot of folks like that.

[shas1814]

I think most fear of dying in our society come from the evil fables of Eternal Hell. I'm dying without fear. I don't love the idea, I'd much rather stay a while and see my children build their lives and families. But I have no fear. Why have I no fear? Because I no longer believe in the Great Sadist who invented an eternal torture chamber in which he plans to torture most of humanity for ever. Live with love, not fear. Throw away those evil fables!

[rozeboosje]

Exactly! Thanks for the comment.

[Braindiscovering]

great video, I am enjoying the serie, but I would like to point out that for example I fear death although I know there is nothing after death. Its horrible to know that my life will come to an end (that makes me want to live it to the fullest) and I fear death because I wanted more life, i don't want it to end. Sometimes it just seems you are working for nothing besides momentarily pleasure.

[rozeboosje]

Yes, but you're young, and full of energy. I once heard this explained as to a small child. When you wake up in the morning you're rearing to go, all you want to do is PLAY PLAY PLAY. And the thought of going back to bed is just horrible. In the evening you're so tired, having had a great day playing, and all you want to do is go to bed and sleep. If you are lucky enough to die of old age, it'll feel a bit like that. (more...)

[rozeboosje]

I would of course feel very sorry for the things I didn't get a chance to do. The opportunities missed, the part of the lives of my children and grandchildren that I'm going to miss. Scared I may not have left behind enough to provide for those I love, certainly. But scared of death? No.

[HLecterPHD]

pistol to the cranium me finks - wont be hanging round for any un-necessary pain

[rozeboosje]

I dare say that would be quick and painless. Make sure it is aimed correctly though.

OTOH - I like life too much right now so can I take a rain check? :P

[HLecterPHD]

i mean if/when i find myself on the deathbed.

im hanging round for the moment.

[rozeboosje]

Yup. There's still a lot of fun to be had :-)

[shas1814]

"pistol to the cranium me finksz' Don't do it! My son put a pistol to his head 10 years ago last night. In one temple and out the other, exit wound bigger than your fist. After 2 months in a coma and a year in hospital he lives at home with us. He has partial use of his right arm and hand. Period. Brain damaged, of course. There are never any guarantees!

[rozeboosje]

Wow. Sorry to hear that. I hope he isn't still in the frame of mind that led him to do that in the first place?

[shas1814]

Thanks, Roze.

His life is difficult, but he is very positive

and enjoys his life a lot now.

Here's a video about him, if you're interested:

watch?v=A0-iwezYxTM

[ymeg1]

Lovely.

[Loreleila]

Good stuff. :) I had an accident when I was 12. Knocked down and sent flying on a zebra crossing. Time slowed down so it seemed I was flying for ever.

In a way it's back to that human trait of speculation, and whether we use it to some valuable use or just to fret.

I'm not sure I want to 'slip quietly away'.lol

[rozeboosje]

You're right. Coming to the realisation I mention later in the video about the conscious ways of dying and their implications, then I think I'd put up with it for the privilige of "being there" for it.

[Tiwaking]

What's odd is how theories of death can cause the most insane acts of violence against the living