I love you to death Jen, but I do have to let you know that this argument of being "jealous" is so not always true either way. I chose to be open and out, but also identity as female. I am not jealous of those who "pass" because truth is, I "pass" when I want to do so with no problems. I however realize the importance of being visible in order to help progress with gaining equality. Because it has been proven to work, but I also realize it's not easy.
I <3 you too Lindsay. Let me start by saying that I didn't say anyone was jealous of anyone because of their passing ability. What confuses me in your comment was that you said you identify as female yet you're open and out. If you identify as female, what is there to be open and out about? The whole point is if you want to live as a female, being open about your trans status is detrimental. Not everyone wants the stigma associated with being trans and if they can bypass that then let them.
Also...the whole gaining equality by being visible is a catch 22. If you blend into society while being undetected then it goes unnoticed. But if you are visible then you no longer conform to that standard because you have outed yourself and now people will derive their own ideas about it through what they already perceive us to be. It's one extreme to the other. There is no way around it and I've noticed a change in how people treat me when I let them know I'm trans as well. It's inevitable
@JenB81 Yes I do identify as female, but not unlike an African-American Female, a Hispanic Female, a White Female, I have a history, and we have to deal with oppression this is the facts. This is far beyond you or me, the problem I have is there are women who will never be able to "pass" and they deserve to have a quality of life as well. In my eyes it is selfish to leave them behind. My being openly trans does not make me any less of a woman, and this is how I live my life and do well ...
@JenB81 and do well doing so. I seriously made a dedication to help try to make it better for all of us. By not being seen I am not doing that. Now do I walk around waving a flag and shouting at the top of my lungs I'm trans... no, but I also do not deny my history either. I have even done so in times and places where there could have been threat, and what I have noticed is I have gained more respect because I do not display anything that could ever be mistaken as shame....
@JenB81 The think is if we don't make our voices heard we will be looking at more oppression and trust me it's happening right now. If you don't believe me and you don't see the importance the just Google "Paul Scott targets transgender" or "DART accused of transphobia" <--- this one for sure but both. Call me arrogant, militant, pointing figures, (not saying you have but others have). Thing is I live my life with a consciousness of a collective not focused on my own selfishness.
@LindsayStone I understand that your way of doing things is neither wrong or right as long as it works for you. But if someone does not partake in the same cause as you it does not make them wrong or right either. I'm just saying that you can't deny or even be mad at them for taking a different view on how they live their life. Not everyone has the courage to fight in the military but some people do. Doesn't mean all people have to follow suit. Just respect the decision and the person....
@Lindsay Stone You may think it's selfish but if you expect someone to act a certain way or fight for the cause the same way you do just because they were born trans then we might as well say people have to act male if that's how they were physically born. Some people just don't take the same path as everyone else just because they were dealt a certain hand in life. I just say expect it and respect it.
I respect someone to be able to make their choice, my opinion of them is different however, and this I am entitled to. And on top of that I don't ever want to hear them bitch or moan when they end up being discriminated against because in my eyes if they did not help contribute then they have not right to bitch, much is the same way someone who still has their rights to vote but decided not do have not right to bitch about the actions of their government because if they do not take...
an active role in and then in my opinion they have helped contribute to the problem by being complacent and silent. People tend not to care unless it's happening to them, this is selfish and this is the truth. And yes I do fight for other causes that do not even personally affect me as well, because the truth is silence is deadly. I don't expect people to be all in your face or anything, but just give a shit and try to help. Jen there is right and wrong, and too many people ride the fence.
@LindsayStone I agree to some extent that people who don't vote shouldn't complain. I believe they still have the right to though, I just wouldn't feel any empathy for them. But who decides what is enough when it comes to contributing? Is there a certain amount of time that you have to devote to trans related issues? Is it your whole life? Again what you believe is black and white, right and wrong, is still just a grey area and most people will fit somewhere between the two extremes.
Did you google the two terms I asked you to google? Did you read them? I don't know about you but for mean enough is when this these types of news is not a common issue... hell screw that when they are no longer existent. But then again that's just me, I just don't know how anyone could know about these things and still think it's ok to be silent. I get just wanting to live your life, I all the time wished I could, but the truth is that was not the reality that was dealt to me...
And I am trying to make the best with the cards I've been handed. I also want everyone else to also be able to play their cards as well, but the truth is every single day Trans people are getting their cards taken away and told they can't play with everyone else because they are less than. I am not less than and I will not settle for others thinking I am or anyone else is either. To be honest I wished I didn't give a shit, it would make life easier.
I'm not knocking you for being active in the cause but there is a certain point where you need to stop and enjoy your life. I am not trying to be a bitch but wouldn't it be easier just to be happy for those that made it past the "less than" phase instead of trying to make them take a step back by having to announce that they used to be trans? Like saying nobody gets a cookie until everyone can get a cookie which isn't going to happen because there will always be discrimination in the world.
The truth is they are still "less than" I will point out instance after instance where it has come back at some point. There was a case of married Woman who was trans who when her husband died they insurance company challenged her marriage and had it annulled so she could not receive the life insurance. I can go on and on... the truth is it will come back and get them... but then again maybe they can hide in an attic and write a diary that will later be published
Yes I am aware of instances where it comes back up because nobody can erase their past but that doesn't mean they have to think about it everyday. There are also instances where people who live stealth do just that. Go their whole life without a problem but you never hear that story do you? It's all relative to what is sensationalized and believing that all people who go stealth don't make it is just as bad as everyone grouping us as freaks. Again, works for some, not for others.
Yes there are many cases where they make it, but that does not take away the fact that the laws are not there that protect us all. Just because one can does not mean it is helpful, but then again I guess that goes to say "why should we care about others"... right?... I mean "As long as I can get mine"... We are such a small group of people every single one of us counts but who cares "let me get mine and the others can eat dirt" I can not justify this and that's what it really boils down to
I don't believe they have that frame of mind. Yes people can be selfish but at the same time there are those out there who believe we transition for selfish reasons. They think of it as a spiteful and devious act but everyone deserves to be happy and you can't please everyone all the time so the only one you can truely please is yourself. You can't call them selfish for it though because no act is truely selfless. There is always some potential gain for the individual. Again all relative.
The thing is they might not have that frame of mind, knowingly but that is exactly what it is when looking at the greater good. I think we will have to disagree on this one.
lol Yeah, it was fun chatting with you though. I love civil debates. They make me think and open me up to other peoples ideas. :) Thnx again, take care and have a good night.
Just because I have these views and passion for justice does not mean I do not still care for the ones who live stealth or don't help fight. I do still care for them, but I am also not scared of calling the reality of it. If they don't want to be part of the solution that's fine, but put in simple terms I also don't want people around me that are going to run if I am being beat down either. Apathy has no place in social change, and apathy has no right to complain either.
Sad to say this type of behavior is in every community.
It seems every community has it's level of success. You start at the bottom and work your way up. Who says what the bottom is and where is "the top" is left up to those who created the rules. Which, if you think of it, is a an awesome catch 22.
Just being you seems like a great thing but sometimes that is just not enough in any social circle.
right on Jen Jen......it would be real nice if humankind , and this community could advance beyond eating its own young.......maybe we need mirrors anchored in front of us everywhere we go ,and tape recorders hung around our necks ,so we could see and hear what others do......i dont know,but we could pay a bit more attention to our thoughts before we speak....an honest critique of someone elses point is o.k. but we shouldnt judge each other((luv u Jen Jen))...........(huggs)
ooh hell yes!!......i could eat the whole bucket of KFC my own damn self.......i used to live in a place that had a KFC...i liked to order me a big bucket on saturday nights, eat fried chicken and watch porn until my vibrator blew its batteries out.....sometimes a woman has to take the bull by the horns, especially when there aint no boyfriend hangin' around.....but we dont have KFC in this little town, so i just have to watch porn, chickenless......goddamn doritos aint no proper substitute(hugg
yeah I think some people do like to 'police' others in the community (and it happens in other communities too), my philosophy is live and let live and don't project self onto others.
Well said on all fronts, people just gotta do them & let others fall in where they may ya know, On happier fronts..maybe I just havnt been paying attention lately but are you shooting in delicious HD now..?? looks good
The same things will go on in every other "community", it's people doing what people do. I hear the same things coming from the (unrelated) communities my friends and family are apart of.
This community, as I see it, should be for support, and it is, some are just providing a bit more entertainment than usual.
I challenged a friend the other day to find a way of life that wouldn't offend another social, political or religious group...
I hate to say that, in a technology ridden world, I seem to be disconnected enough to perhaps not be able to grasp the sharpened reason for your anger, though even knowing the exact reason would likely anger me much like it has you. Only being a part of 'the community' for the better part of a year+ now, I can see that there are many who follow their own path, and that all journeys are not the same. Sometimes appreciating all colors of the rainbow simultaneously is difficult, but worthwhile.
Separately from the response, may I add pos. vid feedback? This vid is very crisp and vivid, and the lighting and tone is great. You must have picked up a new camera recently? Oh, and I SO saw your emotion right towards the end.. don't know if you were gritting your teeth or what have you, but goodness it showed in your face. You look great, and your haircolor grew on you. :-)
Ha ha ha, yeah I have a new camera. I'm still working on the bugs of adjusting to the new auto focus and such. I did get a little heated and emotional when making this and I'm glad it showed. I know people have a tendency to not take me serious because most of my videos are kind of random and silly.
yes! the trans community is really an illusion -- there is no community, only those who return to humanity, or those who reject the human community... i won't delve too much into my thesis, but you absolutely hit the right note...
I think the quotes now officially go around everything these days. Just seems everything is so off skew that you can't say anything with a straight face anymore lol.
Hi Jennifer i have only been here on youtube for a short time and im finding lots a good channels and a lot of girls are no longer making videos or simply leaving youtube. I think its terrible, have they been pushed out.
Good for you to stand up to anyone i mean anyone judging anyone else and there life be it here or anywhere else... How dare they.
I think you are very wise.
elvis3700 1 year ago
IMA what I AM NO mpre NO less darling and TRNASGENdEred girls are WHO THEY Are as well live and let live i so agree with u darlin
smlaurieanne 2 years ago
Yep, that's all we can be is ourselves. :)
JenB81 2 years ago
you're my new best friend, LOL! you keep it real! hell yeah girl, im feelin that:)
chrischurch11 2 years ago
Ha ha ha, thnx.
JenB81 2 years ago
I love you to death Jen, but I do have to let you know that this argument of being "jealous" is so not always true either way. I chose to be open and out, but also identity as female. I am not jealous of those who "pass" because truth is, I "pass" when I want to do so with no problems. I however realize the importance of being visible in order to help progress with gaining equality. Because it has been proven to work, but I also realize it's not easy.
LindsayStone 2 years ago
I <3 you too Lindsay. Let me start by saying that I didn't say anyone was jealous of anyone because of their passing ability. What confuses me in your comment was that you said you identify as female yet you're open and out. If you identify as female, what is there to be open and out about? The whole point is if you want to live as a female, being open about your trans status is detrimental. Not everyone wants the stigma associated with being trans and if they can bypass that then let them.
JenB81 2 years ago
Also...the whole gaining equality by being visible is a catch 22. If you blend into society while being undetected then it goes unnoticed. But if you are visible then you no longer conform to that standard because you have outed yourself and now people will derive their own ideas about it through what they already perceive us to be. It's one extreme to the other. There is no way around it and I've noticed a change in how people treat me when I let them know I'm trans as well. It's inevitable
JenB81 2 years ago
@JenB81 Yes I do identify as female, but not unlike an African-American Female, a Hispanic Female, a White Female, I have a history, and we have to deal with oppression this is the facts. This is far beyond you or me, the problem I have is there are women who will never be able to "pass" and they deserve to have a quality of life as well. In my eyes it is selfish to leave them behind. My being openly trans does not make me any less of a woman, and this is how I live my life and do well ...
LindsayStone 2 years ago
@JenB81 and do well doing so. I seriously made a dedication to help try to make it better for all of us. By not being seen I am not doing that. Now do I walk around waving a flag and shouting at the top of my lungs I'm trans... no, but I also do not deny my history either. I have even done so in times and places where there could have been threat, and what I have noticed is I have gained more respect because I do not display anything that could ever be mistaken as shame....
LindsayStone 2 years ago
@JenB81 The think is if we don't make our voices heard we will be looking at more oppression and trust me it's happening right now. If you don't believe me and you don't see the importance the just Google "Paul Scott targets transgender" or "DART accused of transphobia" <--- this one for sure but both. Call me arrogant, militant, pointing figures, (not saying you have but others have). Thing is I live my life with a consciousness of a collective not focused on my own selfishness.
LindsayStone 2 years ago
@LindsayStone I understand that your way of doing things is neither wrong or right as long as it works for you. But if someone does not partake in the same cause as you it does not make them wrong or right either. I'm just saying that you can't deny or even be mad at them for taking a different view on how they live their life. Not everyone has the courage to fight in the military but some people do. Doesn't mean all people have to follow suit. Just respect the decision and the person....
JenB81 2 years ago
@Lindsay Stone You may think it's selfish but if you expect someone to act a certain way or fight for the cause the same way you do just because they were born trans then we might as well say people have to act male if that's how they were physically born. Some people just don't take the same path as everyone else just because they were dealt a certain hand in life. I just say expect it and respect it.
JenB81 2 years ago
I respect someone to be able to make their choice, my opinion of them is different however, and this I am entitled to. And on top of that I don't ever want to hear them bitch or moan when they end up being discriminated against because in my eyes if they did not help contribute then they have not right to bitch, much is the same way someone who still has their rights to vote but decided not do have not right to bitch about the actions of their government because if they do not take...
LindsayStone 2 years ago
an active role in and then in my opinion they have helped contribute to the problem by being complacent and silent. People tend not to care unless it's happening to them, this is selfish and this is the truth. And yes I do fight for other causes that do not even personally affect me as well, because the truth is silence is deadly. I don't expect people to be all in your face or anything, but just give a shit and try to help. Jen there is right and wrong, and too many people ride the fence.
LindsayStone 2 years ago
@LindsayStone I agree to some extent that people who don't vote shouldn't complain. I believe they still have the right to though, I just wouldn't feel any empathy for them. But who decides what is enough when it comes to contributing? Is there a certain amount of time that you have to devote to trans related issues? Is it your whole life? Again what you believe is black and white, right and wrong, is still just a grey area and most people will fit somewhere between the two extremes.
JenB81 2 years ago
Did you google the two terms I asked you to google? Did you read them? I don't know about you but for mean enough is when this these types of news is not a common issue... hell screw that when they are no longer existent. But then again that's just me, I just don't know how anyone could know about these things and still think it's ok to be silent. I get just wanting to live your life, I all the time wished I could, but the truth is that was not the reality that was dealt to me...
LindsayStone 2 years ago
And I am trying to make the best with the cards I've been handed. I also want everyone else to also be able to play their cards as well, but the truth is every single day Trans people are getting their cards taken away and told they can't play with everyone else because they are less than. I am not less than and I will not settle for others thinking I am or anyone else is either. To be honest I wished I didn't give a shit, it would make life easier.
LindsayStone 2 years ago
I'm not knocking you for being active in the cause but there is a certain point where you need to stop and enjoy your life. I am not trying to be a bitch but wouldn't it be easier just to be happy for those that made it past the "less than" phase instead of trying to make them take a step back by having to announce that they used to be trans? Like saying nobody gets a cookie until everyone can get a cookie which isn't going to happen because there will always be discrimination in the world.
JenB81 2 years ago
The truth is they are still "less than" I will point out instance after instance where it has come back at some point. There was a case of married Woman who was trans who when her husband died they insurance company challenged her marriage and had it annulled so she could not receive the life insurance. I can go on and on... the truth is it will come back and get them... but then again maybe they can hide in an attic and write a diary that will later be published
LindsayStone 2 years ago
Yes I am aware of instances where it comes back up because nobody can erase their past but that doesn't mean they have to think about it everyday. There are also instances where people who live stealth do just that. Go their whole life without a problem but you never hear that story do you? It's all relative to what is sensationalized and believing that all people who go stealth don't make it is just as bad as everyone grouping us as freaks. Again, works for some, not for others.
JenB81 2 years ago
Yes there are many cases where they make it, but that does not take away the fact that the laws are not there that protect us all. Just because one can does not mean it is helpful, but then again I guess that goes to say "why should we care about others"... right?... I mean "As long as I can get mine"... We are such a small group of people every single one of us counts but who cares "let me get mine and the others can eat dirt" I can not justify this and that's what it really boils down to
LindsayStone 2 years ago
I don't believe they have that frame of mind. Yes people can be selfish but at the same time there are those out there who believe we transition for selfish reasons. They think of it as a spiteful and devious act but everyone deserves to be happy and you can't please everyone all the time so the only one you can truely please is yourself. You can't call them selfish for it though because no act is truely selfless. There is always some potential gain for the individual. Again all relative.
JenB81 2 years ago
The thing is they might not have that frame of mind, knowingly but that is exactly what it is when looking at the greater good. I think we will have to disagree on this one.
LindsayStone 2 years ago
lol Yeah, it was fun chatting with you though. I love civil debates. They make me think and open me up to other peoples ideas. :) Thnx again, take care and have a good night.
JenB81 2 years ago
Just because I have these views and passion for justice does not mean I do not still care for the ones who live stealth or don't help fight. I do still care for them, but I am also not scared of calling the reality of it. If they don't want to be part of the solution that's fine, but put in simple terms I also don't want people around me that are going to run if I am being beat down either. Apathy has no place in social change, and apathy has no right to complain either.
LindsayStone 2 years ago
Thnx babes
JenB81 2 years ago
Sad to say this type of behavior is in every community.
It seems every community has it's level of success. You start at the bottom and work your way up. Who says what the bottom is and where is "the top" is left up to those who created the rules. Which, if you think of it, is a an awesome catch 22.
Just being you seems like a great thing but sometimes that is just not enough in any social circle.
itspaul70 2 years ago
Yep,some people seem to have the right to judge but never the ability to be judged themselves.
JenB81 2 years ago
right on Jen Jen......it would be real nice if humankind , and this community could advance beyond eating its own young.......maybe we need mirrors anchored in front of us everywhere we go ,and tape recorders hung around our necks ,so we could see and hear what others do......i dont know,but we could pay a bit more attention to our thoughts before we speak....an honest critique of someone elses point is o.k. but we shouldnt judge each other((luv u Jen Jen))...........(huggs)
777Marlene 2 years ago
Ha ha ha, well I've heard humans taste of chicken so maybe that's why we are eating our own young lol. I love me some chicken!
JenB81 2 years ago
ooh hell yes!!......i could eat the whole bucket of KFC my own damn self.......i used to live in a place that had a KFC...i liked to order me a big bucket on saturday nights, eat fried chicken and watch porn until my vibrator blew its batteries out.....sometimes a woman has to take the bull by the horns, especially when there aint no boyfriend hangin' around.....but we dont have KFC in this little town, so i just have to watch porn, chickenless......goddamn doritos aint no proper substitute(hugg
777Marlene 2 years ago
Bravo!
cmk7 2 years ago
*bows* lol
JenB81 2 years ago
yeah I think some people do like to 'police' others in the community (and it happens in other communities too), my philosophy is live and let live and don't project self onto others.
Jayhawke 2 years ago
Simple and well put.
JenB81 2 years ago
Well said on all fronts, people just gotta do them & let others fall in where they may ya know, On happier fronts..maybe I just havnt been paying attention lately but are you shooting in delicious HD now..?? looks good
tredeep 2 years ago
Yep, got me a spiffy new camera :)
JenB81 2 years ago
well said hun. i agree.
daniellelynn75 2 years ago
Thank you.
JenB81 2 years ago
As an outsider, I've watched silently (lurked). I just want to say I agree with you 100%, for what it's worth.
FaceForRadio63 2 years ago
Thanks babes :)
JenB81 2 years ago
Hi Jen.
The same things will go on in every other "community", it's people doing what people do. I hear the same things coming from the (unrelated) communities my friends and family are apart of.
This community, as I see it, should be for support, and it is, some are just providing a bit more entertainment than usual.
I challenged a friend the other day to find a way of life that wouldn't offend another social, political or religious group...
People can only agree to disagree.
4SadieSake 2 years ago
Very true but I say let them disagree amongst themselves and not perpetuate the notion that others are wrong simply because they are different.
JenB81 2 years ago
I hate to say that, in a technology ridden world, I seem to be disconnected enough to perhaps not be able to grasp the sharpened reason for your anger, though even knowing the exact reason would likely anger me much like it has you. Only being a part of 'the community' for the better part of a year+ now, I can see that there are many who follow their own path, and that all journeys are not the same. Sometimes appreciating all colors of the rainbow simultaneously is difficult, but worthwhile.
AngelMarie1976 2 years ago
Separately from the response, may I add pos. vid feedback? This vid is very crisp and vivid, and the lighting and tone is great. You must have picked up a new camera recently? Oh, and I SO saw your emotion right towards the end.. don't know if you were gritting your teeth or what have you, but goodness it showed in your face. You look great, and your haircolor grew on you. :-)
AngelMarie1976 2 years ago
Ha ha ha, yeah I have a new camera. I'm still working on the bugs of adjusting to the new auto focus and such. I did get a little heated and emotional when making this and I'm glad it showed. I know people have a tendency to not take me serious because most of my videos are kind of random and silly.
JenB81 2 years ago
Yes it is very difficult for us when people take the easy way out and group us all together and label us that way.
JenB81 2 years ago
Jen, IMO, you've just delineated The Universal Human Conundrum! In this case, "transness" is its specific application!
I wish Oprah would play this video to her worldwide, devoted audiences. They totally need to see this.
Apply what you said here to any other "scene" or "application," and you've got the melieu of human life.
Maybe the entire purpose of humanity is an experiment to see if we can evolve in consciousness ... Lacey.
FanOfJanis 2 years ago
Ha ha ha, Oprah? I don't think it's that profound. Maybe Tyra but I'm sure she has better things to talk about lol.
JenB81 2 years ago
yes! the trans community is really an illusion -- there is no community, only those who return to humanity, or those who reject the human community... i won't delve too much into my thesis, but you absolutely hit the right note...
hollyannalove 2 years ago
Yes I find it unfortunate that the community is tearing itself apart better than anyone else could dream of.
JenB81 2 years ago
Well said Jen.
People should be reminded that when they point a finger, that there are always more fingers pinting back at them. Wink, wink
On a lighter note, I'm just wondering, after all the drama this week, where to put the quotes? Around trans or community or both?.
NaomiClareNL 2 years ago
I think the quotes now officially go around everything these days. Just seems everything is so off skew that you can't say anything with a straight face anymore lol.
JenB81 2 years ago
Hi Jennifer i have only been here on youtube for a short time and im finding lots a good channels and a lot of girls are no longer making videos or simply leaving youtube. I think its terrible, have they been pushed out.
Good for you to stand up to anyone i mean anyone judging anyone else and there life be it here or anywhere else... How dare they.
misskittykittyuk 2 years ago
Yes it is sad and I think that it is a shame that they feel attacked just because they have a different way of doing things.
JenB81 2 years ago
congrats on this video , you are so right . I support you totaly . Alexa
alexaralu 2 years ago
Thank you :)
JenB81 2 years ago