how I told everyone about my eating disorder

[TheBgoz]

i've had bulimia & anorexia, & bulimia was by far the worst for me. binging & purging was hell, but was at the same time so addictive, & ends up controlling your life. it takes everything out of you as well. & you keep kicking yourself like "wtf, why did you do that AGAIN? you're such an idiot!" & then you hate yourself & feel disgusting at the same time. basically, i understand where you are coming from!

[xDeGree21x]

I never told anyone. I was bulimic for almost 2 years. I lost all the weight and got lean (that was because of the gym). But it came at such a bad price. If I could go back in time I would kick the shit out of my 19 year old self for even thinking about it. But its to late so now I got to live with what I have. Any thinking of doing it dont! Get off your lazzy asses and go to the gym! And great video by the way.

[sbjamesphotography]

I've seen tons of ED youtubers (yeah I can't believe I just said that) and I can relate to you so much. Thanks for this.

[paledreams]

@sbjamesphotography thanks I appreciate that!

[abbeysambivalence]

heya! i find it soooo mind-boggling that your doctor wouldn't believe you. that is just....soooo sad :( like, you are mustering up the courage to disclose your ED to someone, and then that person doubts what you say. christine, i have watched your videos for a long time now (you are like my fave subscription lol) and you are so brave to share your struggles and triumphs. :)

[paledreams]

@abbeysambivalence doctors can be the worst! I've had to tell them numerous times to NOT say my weight outloud, even with a clear anorexic/bulimic history. crazy. and thank you so much, sweetie! <3 I reallllllllly appreciate that! it was certainly not an easy process by any means and I really appreciate your continued support... really!

[SJayneJones]

i have to say.... your awesome! you look like my ed nurse, which is totally trippy! but so awesome that you outted yourself...jealous! must have been sooooo hard! goooooood luck girlie....!

[jenneyefer86]

i'm attracted to you

[paledreams]

@jenneyefer86 ya know. <3

[14christinaa]

i've been subscribed since around the time you made your first video, you have come such a long way and am such an inspiration<3

[paledreams]

@14christinaa thanks girl. I appreciate that and you have known me for a while! :) hope you're doing well.

[CsixHtwelve0six]

I fricking hate it that nobody seems to notice eating disorders until you tell them about it straight up. Even when you do "look sick" and emaciated, they don't say anything or reach out to you. It's disturbing, really. Either they assume nothing's wrong (that you're just naturally thirty pounds underweight), or they know something must be wrong but choose not to do anything about it.

[CsixHtwelve0six]

@CsixHtwelve0six I've struggled with anorexia for five years, and not one of my friends has ever said a word about it... even when I was almost hospitalized and had to drop out of college because I was too sick to go to class. It's like everyone just assumes you're doing it for compliments, and you'll eventually snap out of it, or that eating disorders are only for materialistic teenage girls. It's like screaming and having nobody bat an eye.

[sumkindawunnerful]

You are so brave.

[paledreams]

@sumkindawunnerful thanks! it was incredibly hard but I couldn't have started recovery without it.

[AnaGirlEmpath]

@paledreams:

Thank you for sharing your disclosure story! I was angered and frustrated by how you were repeatedly dismissed when you spoke about your ED. That is such crap. I hope you are doing better these days, though I know that for the majority of us, ED's just don't go away.

[AnaGirlEmpath]

@singinchick:

Many pharmaceutical companies offer financial assistance to patients without insurance. Check out the manufacturer's site for Concerta or check pparx dot org. Good luck angel!

[Bestrong4]

Hey Paledreams I dont eat much either too much anxiety

[kara12182]

thanks for sharing! - i luv watching your videos! - thanks for the update

[rebexjay]

i seriously dont know how you had the courage to tell!!!! like seriously!!

[mentalhealthhelpUK]

Thanks for sharing your story- it's such a shame your first therapist was so useless, but great that you were able to open up to your then boyfriend and finally find a good treatment programme! Congratulations on your amazing progress!

[etrox318]

Interesting video! I didn't know you had trouble with ephedra too, so it was interesting to hear that side of your story.

<3

[paledreams]

@etrox318 yeah I was reallllly addicted to ephedra and went through withdrawls and everything. scary stuff.

[loveandsolace]

Thanks for posting this video. I think it's something that a lot of people could benefit from :)

[singinchick]

I really missed your videos. So glad you updated! I have a question. I know you have ADHD. I have ADD the inattentive type. I think they removed that subtype just to save room in the DSM. Anyways, I need to take concerta because I can not take adderall or ritalin. However, my insurance does not cover the concerta. Any advice? I have no idea how to work with insurance on this. Thanks girl! ~Brianna

[paledreams]

@singinchick ahh I hate insurance. and yep I also have inattentive type. I guess I don't really have any advice... hopefully they'll come out with a generic? I take a lot of vitamins to help with mood stabilizing and focus. what about Vyvanse or adderall XR?