Here's Your Sign - Christmas Edition by Bill Engvall

[tirthedk]

@deerkiller26 "Nope, I'm the mechanic."

"No ma'am, I am just the chauffeur." "Nope, we are from the mayor's officer, vehicles got switched this morning." "No ma'am ,we are from the morgue." "Nope, we are a theater troupe on the way to the set of "Firemen from Broadway."

[sunnygrace57]

I've been to a "midnight mass" that didn't start at midnight. Then again, the people who called it that probably deserve a sign.

[AdorkableSnickerz]

Heres your sign

[heavymetalredneck91]

2 people are the people bill said heres your sign to

[christylolful]

One day I was buying stuffing for dinner and a lady walked up to me and said cooking stuffing. I said nope just want to take a souvenir hope to my mom. >Here's your sign<

[TheACDCRockers]

My mom asked me to pourher a glass of wine and her friend asked me is thatglass for your mom and I said nope I pouring it in the glass to save some and she's gonna have the bottle. -here's your sign-

[NintendoFan802]

Here's another one. During Thanksgiving I was taking the turkey out of the oven because my mom was busy talking to somebody. A neighbor of ours come in just to stop by. He sees the turkey and he says "Wow did y'all bake that there turkey?" I said "Nope poor thing just had an overdue Suntan." Here's your sign.

[NintendoFan802]

Hey y'all I have a joke. A friend of mine come by my house from church yesterday cause church got cancelled, which I already knew that. All of a sudden this guy that he knew came walking on the side of the road. He sees my friend and he says, "Why back so early, church got cancelled?" My friend says "Nope, Jesus was out on Luch break". Here's your sign.

[Znupi]

@deerkiller26 "no, we're from the big red firetruck that doesn't belong to the fire department department".

[Caitlynsmile]

funniest one

[cakemaker44]

I had that with this dumb man my tire blew out on christmas eve so i had to change it on the parking lot so this man walks up to me and sees me putting th wheel on and said "hey u changing the tire?" i said no im takeing one wheel off so i can make a unicycle. here's your sign -_-

[reptilehunter7]

one time in class i was reading when the principal walked in he asked me 'you readin that book?' and i paused for a moment and said' nope i hope that if i stare long enough the book will just give me the information' heres yer sign

[katieducky23]

@reptilehunter7 omfg that question is dumb what else would u b doin with a book XD give him 2 signs ROFL

[katieducky23]

I was in the bathroom in k mart once. So i was washing my hands and this other lady walks up and says to me "if red means hot water what does blue mean?" i said Oh it means deep blue water is gonna come like in the ocean .__. heres your sign dumb ass....

[katieducky23]

@TyVulpine ikr wut a dumb ass

[liverpool3333]

Mr Engvall is a genious

[seluav]

ok i have one: so i'm walking down the hallway at school with my usual garb of goth makeup on and loe and behold someone had to ask," Hey, are you gothic?" so I turn to him and say," nope, just thought I would try out for mime school... Here's you sign." and the best part is he believed me... so now he asks me without fail everyday,' do mimes really not talk?" so of coarse I reply," nope, they have laryngitis... heres you sign."

[AceripXF]

OKAY I GOT ONE:

i was working at family dollar athe time there's a guy in an army uniform & the guy behind him says "oh you're in the army?" I said & i said "nope he's just filling in for one of the village people. here's your sign"

[MayallFan35]

OHHHHHH ROTFLMAO!!!! nice one acer. :-)

[MayallFan35]

oh my god i looooove bill engvall. and this one is the funniest video. i love it. :-) thanks for putting this up.

[AceripXF]

@MayallFan35 Bill is so funny lmao

[MayallFan35]

yeah and he's cute to boot. i'm a poet and didn't know it. hehehehe

[AceripXF]

@MayallFan35 oh good i'm glad i'm not the only one to think that LOL

[MayallFan35]

lol!! yeah. :-) i'd love to meet bill one day. tell him how much i admire his work. :-)

[AceripXF]

@MayallFan35 me too & have him sign my bill engvall shirt i got

[MayallFan35]

yeah that would be awesome. he seems very approachable, like rik.

[KRISTY31021]

Here is one for you:

Back when I smoked I was standing on the porch with a cig and someone walked up and ask are you going to smoke all of that cig?

I said naw just like to see the red glow.

Here is your sign

[1missmesika001]

LMAO Bill Engvall is freakin awesome!!!

[gaaraofthedesert33]

I got one: Usually my mom takes me to my bus stop in the morning, but that day she had to go to work early so my dad takes me. We get there and he says, "You gonna get on the bus when it gets here, right?" I turned to him and said," No, im gonna watch everyone get on and wave to them goodbye. Then im going to walk to school." Here's Your Sign.

[KRISTY31021]

I have a mom just like that

[AceripXF]

@gaaraofthedesert33 OMG ROTFLMAO!! OMG THAT'S A GOOD ONE

[hnoella]

ok here my fav...i went to a restaurant with my friend and the waiter come to welcome us and he goes 'You're coming for dinner? my friend said no we're here to play tennis..do u have spare tennis courts? no?? i guess we'll dinner then HERES UR SIGN :D and later when we were ordering my friend asked 'is the fish fresh? and the waiter goes no it's rotten since the last couple of days but we're too lazy to remove it from the menu :D it woz funny

[AceripXF]

@hnoella LMAO OMG at least the waiter had a good sense of humor LMAO

[jambamify]

i was walking out of mcdonalds a couple days ago when my freind walks up to me and says hey you got some mcdonalds for yourself i said no i am going into the mountains with this food so i can get attacked by bears hears your sign

[mime248]

im standing in line to buy a concert ticket and a freind sees me and says " omg, r u gonna go to this concert". NOPE i just want to buy a ticket so i know when to watch it on t.v.

[AceripXF]

@mime248 ROTFLMAO LMAO!!!

[CrazyGirl3264]

i went over to my bfs house on his b-day they were having a big party. Im holding a gift that says "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" wraping paper on it and his mom says " are you here for the party?" i said nope i brought my little brother to steal your food hes hiding in this box -heres your sign-

[longhorndealer]

I get on a hotel elevator wearing a hat and shirt that say pizza hut on them and carrying 2 loaded bags of pizzas a guy asks do you deliver here. i said Nope I just ride up and down all day with these pizzas hoping to make a sale. Here's your sign

[hockeynut0112]

I was standing outside a plane ready to go flying the other day, when a pilot came up to me and said "you going flying in that plane?" I said "Nope. I'm going to go down to the runway and start flapping my arms and hope I take off."

-Here's your sign.-

[roguessolder48]

heres one i was at a yard sale one time thiers signs that say yard sale right in front and a lady comes in and yells is this where the yards sales at and we all just okk at her and were like nope we just get our stuff out and look at it every now and then heres your sign

[ScorpioCutie86]

So this guy asks me today. "excuse me is this the back of the line ?" I said " No man this is the front we are all standing backwards

-Here's your sign.

[inbear1]

here you go a great heres ur sign moment my cars window got busted out i was changing it and my next door neighbour came over and asked if my window got broke out i said NOPE IT TOOK THE SONG I FALL TO PIECES LITERALLY HERES YOURE SIGN

[Margo222425]

thats funny lol

[Ch33rLeadingCuti3]

Ok here's mine-

I was walking homw from cheerleading practice and my friend comes up and asks me "Did you just get done with your practice?" I reply to her- "Naaa i just like to dress up in my halloween costume a few times a week to see if it still fits me!" (Here's your sign)

[TylersMummy23]

Had my own heres your sign moment the other day. My bf was sleeping on the sofa my flatmate walks into the lounge and looks at bf sleeping on the sofa and then asks me if bf was sleeping, To which I said Nahhhhhhh hes dead. Heres ya sign!!!

[19duhart]

hahah funny

[hohlt92]

to damn bad bill is there

[XxThereIsAGodxX]

ZZ Top doin a what??

[ladyl34dfoot]

ZZ Top doin' a Farm Aid concert.....

[specialfrankthegame]

**packs bags** neibor askes" hey u moovin ?" man sais''no im just wondering how meany boxes it would take if i decided 2"

[deadzampakto]

there's a uhaul van in our driveway my friend comes over says"hey you movin" Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week...just to se how many boxes it takes... Here's your sign

[Margo222425]

thats a good one lol

[firefly09td]

gawd, I heard that on "car talk" a couple of weeks ago. It is amazing. Did I write this, no, I just thought it and my computer wrote it with-out me touching it. Here's your sign

[jupiterly2]

lmfao!!!

[DanielCauley]

LMFAO! I love This Song Everytime!:)

[cobaltchics123]

i love it i lissen to country♥♥♥ funny 2

[Hawkee316]

good one

[Cagalli1394]

loved it...especially the song

[JFairy789]

ha ha ha i love this its so funny

[LaylaX0X0]

funny