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  • love you.... I am a boy and I feel I can relate to this so much!

  • @sylarwins

    Feminist another way to say lesbian.

  • @sylarwins Why do you say that? I think Mary makes a good point here which is neither lame nor stupid.

  • i like you YOUR AWESOME :D

  • Wow. Couldn't have said it any better :)

  • Nicely said. 

  • I applaud you for posting this. Well said!

  • This is great, made so much sense, and i know what its like to have the mic taken because you're a girl who likes to do things that boys do, i had it from some people for a lot of my childhood. I think people have started to slowly realise that everyone is different though :)

  • i love this video, i have seen it to the point where i talk along. i was coming out at college and my friend did a presentation to open peoples eyes and make it easier for me and i made sure she showed this video and the whole class was gobsmacked because its such an eye opener. to be honest i watch it when im down. 'lastly, i will tell them that i am me and i am okay.' probably the best thing i've ever heard. big love mary b. x

  • This is...amazing

  • As a post-operative MTF transsexual I applaud your video. Gender is a continuum, a broad spectrum of expressions which include boys showing femininity and girls masculinity. Those who put us down usually have a problem with their own gender. Otherwise they wouldn't care how someone else expressed theirs. Or maybe they've been brainwashed by religion and are stupidly unable to get over the accusation the Abrahamic religions make, that homosexuality and cross-dressing constitute abominations.

  • I like this. If you swapped all the pronouns/stereotypes/archetype­s for all their opposites you could have been talking about me, and it would have been 100% accurate. Which I guess is partly the point. The pronouns fail, the archetypes break down as neither apply, so it ends up being pointless trying to be male or female. Why not just be?

  • I love you, you're amazing :D

  • @paulskol144 So why did you watch?

  • I love this. I love this so much. I wish more people could get past this issue so it became a non-issue

  • THe sexuality issue is no big deal but the video being cut every 5 seconds so you can pretend to be "artsy" and say, I'm using sound bytes and that just HAS make everything I say 10 times more important. Well, it dosen't. It just makes it annoying. Just let it roll with no cuts from start to finnish next time.Sound bytes are pointless and just plain irritating....

  • amazing:)

  • Um jody stfu and person in the vid ur totaly right ur nice insted of cris who just has problems and was probably raped by his dad

  • Just wrote this after i watched this vid, its not that good ............ April 23 1995,

    It was annouced by societyand also by the midwife,

    I was a girl,

    But they couldnt of been more wrong,

    Because i dont feel like a girl/female,

    I aint a girl or female ,

    Im what i call human,

    Im free,

    Free to name myself who ever and what ever i feel comfortable with,

    "i deserve to be comfortable in my own life and to make myself at home in my own body"-mary buckeit

  • This is like the tenth time I’ve watched this vid. I love it! I mean it! :D

  • Seriously floored ~ Bravo & Brava!!!

    Marlo Bernier

    Jackie Frost Films

    Los Angeles

  • What a great video! Thought provoking, honest, a real breath of fresh air. I'm very glad that you are who you are without reservations or apologies. Like you said, you have the right to be comfortable with who you are. Never, ever lose that!

  • oh pleaseeeee

  • This really spoke to me! Thank you!!

  • Thanks.

  • I can watch this over and over and not get annoyed by your voice u r so gorgeous... I love all your videos and u never get boring........

  • that all speaks to me on a deep level. youre brilliant my friend.

  • I hate people who are sexist to be honest. I think we are all equal in our own special way. <3 Great speech by the way! :DD

  • I had people who are sexist to be honest. I think we are all equal in our own special way. <3 Great speech by the way! :DD 

  • Hi Mary. You seem like such a cool person. You just said exactly what I think and feel (even though I couldn't say it as eloquently as you) I plan on checking out your channel and subscribing. (=

  • I find it lovely that what you said can be relatable to everyone.

    "and when they ask why a nice girl like me would spit in the face of social norms? I will tell them I wanna be who I am not what I am told"

    I love that quote from you.

  • Speaking as a gay man, in a platonic manner, and as one human being to a fellow human being... I love you. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words with the e-world: when so many people utilize this magnificent teaching tool for uploading funny videos of their cats, it is simply awesome to see an intelligent individual come online and blow gender norms to pieces in an eloquent and intellectual manner. You go girl. <3

  • This is by far one of my favorite videos of yours MaryB! I love the way you speak and have read more then a few of your articles! Just a random thought you should write a book!

  • most technical lesbian i ever heard im inspired lol

  • I love it!! Your Amazing!!

  • Wow, that was so well spoken and, well ,flawless. You spoke perfectly, and with meaning, you may have helped me sort just a couple things out, and for that

    I thank you with everything. (:

  • Howd you learn to write so well and speak so well. School? Courses? I need writing practice...

  • @adventuresrus explain deeper what that means

  • Maybe I wouldn't have anything against faggots if they didn't bitch about everything to the courts, "OH NO WE SHOULD GET ALL OF THIS SPECIAL TREATMENT BECAUSE WE'RE CARPET MUNCHERS HURR DURR" and fucking pushed their views on our children through TV, movies, and peer pressure. The whole "lesbians and gays are so abused in school" thing is a fucking cliche, being a faggot is the new cool thing for kids, I have a "bisexual"daughter, do to your twisting of the media she views.

  • Mary B!!!! WHen eva i feel in doubt about myself i watch ur video's ur amazing u say the right thing all the time... this video well article is absoulutly amazing LOVE U!@!

  • Why aren't you President lol

  • ROCK ON!!!!!

  • Let me simplyf it for you. if a medical examier is trying to idenitfy a corpse. Do you think they have on their report that it a male but it maybe it identified as a female. give me a break. Shit like this is annoying. Your a girl deal with it.

  • This is yet the best work or writing I have seen u r awsome never change

  • You go girl!

  • I love this video

  • I showed this video to my mom cause she dosnt like the fact i'm gay and she has changed the way she looks and acts about it and she seems better now

  • @TheAllBlackRabbit before you leave offensive comments on a video, please revise the correct use of 'your' and 'you're'. Also, if you are so against homosexuality, what are you doing typing key words into the youtube search bar that pertain to sexuality and gender? A bit suspicious...

  • What fascinates me is that your text is absolutely nothing new. Feminists and other avantgardists have said similar things since about 150 years.

  • i have a much simpler explanation: look inside your under wears to know who you are. but in case of gays it exactly the opposite of what you see inside your pants. Gays kind of make life complicated for themselves.

  • or throw like one. lol

  • You Remind me of Ellen degeneres :)

  • I couldn't have put it better myself.

  • @8thofmind I identify as Homo sapiens neanderthalensis just because I feel like it. That makes about as much sense as what she said

  • @CardinalRaker Except i don't expect or tell you to slam ur head against rocks 24/7, or think u'r a lesser being, who i can shoot with my rifle for fun... If i did think that, you'd probably wish to identify with just Homo Sapiens...

  • I really liked the way you presented your thesis. However I do not agree with all of it, I would say that a persons gender is separate from one's gender expression, I believe that gender is what one thinks there sex should be. And for those who are born with matching sex and gender often take that gender for granted. Honestly a minor criticism.

  • i absolutly agree, we should not depicted by gender to tell what to act like.

  • oh yeah that speech eas the best ever and so very true!!!!!!

  • I think you are really hot. Does that make me bisexual?(I'm a girl)

  • Comment removed

  • thumbs up if you searched i like boys and found this

  • You help change the way some people think about gender & sex, i think the panoramic view is always the best way to go. Thank you for guiding young people like myself (and others) to realize that people should feel comfortable with who they are, and not to set boundaries/limits for ourselves. It shows us a reality that: why would we do such a thing? I look down upon society's limited ways, and even more that people are into it. I'm grateful for the way you think. Thanks for the enlightenment :)

  • I love You!!!! 

  • coffee addiction, yes. ;) 

    1:55 -- exactly!

  • I'm not sure if you've heard of this, but I had to read a book in Women Studies called Egalia's Daughters. It's basically about this alternative universe where social gender stuctures are completely backwards. I feel like you'd enjoy it.

  • i love your vernacular:D

  • This gave me goose bumps :)

    you are awesome!

    <3

  • I've thought of this many time as I was growing up, but never had the words to explain it. I wish I had a tiny mary b chip in my head that enabled me to communicate my thoughts about the world in your elequint speach.

  • I love this. Thank you for this.

  • SO GLAD SOMEONE FINALLY TOLD IT LIKE IT IS!

  • for some reason you remind me of ELLEN degenerous :)

  • damn you're a really good writer. how hard did you work on this??

  • Rock on!! That might be the best monologue I've ever heard on this topic :)

  • I had to come back and watch this again. I just read an article called "Intersexuality and the Categories of Sex" by Georgia Warnke for my Anthro class and I was reminded of this video! Fabulous job. Damn binaries that construct us as this or that...

  • awesome vid

  • "The two gender assumption has consistently proven inadequate and inaccurate?"... hmmm, just like the two party political system.

    Registered Democrat?

    'It' should get beyond the brainwashing.

    If America becomes a democracy, we all become slaves.

    Look at your astrological chart, the polarity of your planets (masculine/feminine) play heavily on 'gender' planetary aspects effect sexuality. Mars in a feminine sign etc. I can look at someone's chart and see if they're (really) gay.

  • I'm smitten! Always nice to see the things that I awkwardly try to explain to the world so eloquently written, and THEN eloquently spoken!

    I plan to share this with MY world!

  • @amazingandrogen -- i hope you do! i love when things work out just the way the world intends it. xoxxx -mary b.

  • @amazingandrogen Ditoo I wish I could write that good. I wish I could SPEAK that good..I suck at speaking

  • @amazingandrogen I'm rather taken with the author, myself. Great piece!

  • Great job!!!

  • Well, I loved your video and completely agree.

    I grew up a really feminine boy who became a gay man. Who then became a girl. Who then found she wasn't very feminine at all, but butch, and prefers dating women and transmen.

    I am me and I am ok.

  • @tiresianphoenix omg! you're a lesbian boy! date me! jk no offense intended I found you're case very interesting, I loved this video because it's true, we need to bend it a bit,,

  • You friggin' Rock!!

  • Love it. 

  • Thumbs up if you thought your anti-virus found something while watching this.

  • @adventuresrus -- Well I'm so glad this made you think twice. That's my job :)

  • love it! xx

  • You are way more than ok girl!!! I marvel at your ability to express yourself and your ideas and ideals so fluently and intelligently... you are so sharp and alive and a true role model for us all! Hugggs Harmony

  • WOW... thank you for explaining so accurately what I always tried to put in words, but couldn't.

    This is who I am. And i'm ok with it.

    More than ok, I love it.

  • "Anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you."

  • lovely writing style!

  • Bend away. Just so long as you finding out who you are doesn't infringe on me being who I am, I'm fine with it.

  •  i heart you maryb, a lot..

  • I recently discovered you and though I m not a butch or tomboy ( I am a femme lesbian), this completely floored me. I loved it. You are by far whimsical, passionate, talented and intellectual. (And easy on the eyes!!!) Youre one of the best writers Ive ever heard of. You were able to say things people have been trying to say for years. You have opened the minds of some of my very closed minded family members!! Thank you so much. You are making and difference and now inspiring me to do the same!!

  • You are an amazing writer. (:

    Very insprational. (:

  • You're a great writer and have an awesome reading voice. Good job! Keep it up.

  • love the use of the title with the blur song

  • I wish I could take this video or at least the ideals that you have put into it and show my mother that there is nothing wrong with me...I am who I am, and whether I'm gay, straight, or in between makes no difference in the person I am. Thank you for this.

  • I really want to send this video to my sexist father, thanks Mary B!

  • I <3 Judith Butler!

  • OMFG!

    I have one word for this video......AWESOME!

  • I think I account for the most recent 10 views of this video. Your words just flow. Love this and all the other videos. Keep it up please! :)

  • This is so beautifully and succinctly articulated; you have a really amazing way with words. And i live in hope that one day the restrictions on gender we live with today will no longer apply. Great job Maryb! Keep doing what you're doing, it's amazing :)

  • inspiring words ... how did your man allow you to bring the camera to the kitchen though?!

  • EXACTLY! Thanks for uploading this! Great vids! Keep it up girl!

  • someone offer this girl a book deal already .. i mean seriously .. she can probably sell ice to an Eskimo .. i know its an old video but im a new " describer " so these are all new to me :D .. no matter what your talking about by the end of each video i find myself weirdly interested and completely agreeing with whatever it is you had to say .. you definitely have a way with words .. && i think i watched a lil too much MaryB today cos im kinda starting to talk like you.. shoooot ! =D

  • haha my own little thing i felt like sharing:) lol love u. i think u r amazing:)

  • I am a girI. But I'm not girly, I'm actually more of a guy. I would rather wear Skate Shorts, than a dress. I lyk girls, not guys. Could my gender be different from my sex? Just because i was born with girl parts doesnt mean my gender is girl. I think A girl can be a boy or a girl. I believe we should eliminate such a vast lable. Nd love just be about wat the heart wants. Whether that be a boyish girl, or a girlish guy. We r all human And we all know one thing. LOVE and I happen to love a girl

  • Mary-- Thanks. This is a great posting/ article. shared.

  • honestly i think that you are amazing, you are open and free, and i just love the way you are.

  • WOW !!!!!!!

  • Gosh I love this video

  • u make so much sense and have so muc logic hun

    this finally makes sense

  • While I agree with you that you can be whatever you like to be, our society is based on practicality. Can you really blame it for resisting a "bending of the rules" for 1% of the population who wish to? Personally, I say be what you want to be, but for the sake of convenience for everyone else, it's a reality that sometimes you will have to get the butt end of the stick. That's just life..

  • racergonemad99 -- I have to ask, do you truly believe that 99% of the population conform perfectly to the "women are fragile and unathletic, feminine maternal types" and men are "strong, athletic, rugged and masculine"?? Consider folks whose sexuality isn't in question but their GENDER is "not normative" (Serena Williams, Justin Timberlake, Pink, David Beckham) They're heterosexual but exhibit qualities "not normative" to 'masculine' and 'feminine' ideals. There are many more in their company.

  • @marybside I rly don't get it... So ur gender is different if you'r a metrosexual boy, but ur sex is still male?!

  • WOW!!! You basically explained who I am and who i've always been in less than 5 minutes! Its extremely difficult for me to put it in words but you did an AWSOME job! It feels so good to see and know that there are other people out there in life that feel the exact same way you do. THANKS AGAIN SO MUCH!

  • @KATI267 glad it gotcha, darlin. thank YOU for watching.

  • You ROCK Mary.

  • this is amazing. you just put into words what i try to everytime i explain that the terms masculine a feminine mean nothing to your sex. im flabergasted right now.

    good job!

  • Trust me I'm gay so I don't mean this sexually but you look really cute. ^^

  • BRAVO!!!

  • sooo true! couldnt have said it better myslef sister!

  • you are awesome!!

  • oh gosh, i love this video. girls did you write it youself?

    i do a lot of studies regarding gender studies. unfortunately this is not a big subject in germany yet.

    greetings from germany, muenster

    jess

  • i've watched and re-watched this video and read and re-read this article many times. ever since i first saw it, which was probably about a year ago when i had know idea what this was all about.

    but i'm glad i discovered the video. and though this article is old, i want to say now:

    thank you so much, mary b.

    for gracing us with your articulate thoughts.

    and for recording smoothly what how many of us feel and are bursting to say.

  • AMAZING i just subed, I think you are so talented & It means so much to me that You say the things you do.

  • and I think lesbian is a gender... then again l like to brake the lesbian gender ruls... hahaha... thanx for the kinda wise words...

  • Yessssss!!!!

  • who i am, not what i'm told.

    really, really amazing. high five!

  • LOL i didn't get the title

    and i don't get english quite right

    but i can tell you got something... oh yes

    You sure can make your ideas hit the target.

    Really touching

    Another reason for me to say thanks to Youtube and Internet ^_^

  • You.

    OMG.

    Like.

    GAH!

    I'm Gonna Cry,

    This is Like My Heart Written in Your Words?

    jhdkfjshdf I love IT

  • FUCKING AWSOME!!! : )

  • i can only say one thing...love it

  • Hi there people, Let me qualify my statement by saying that I am a 35yo straight man who is secure with my sexuality. Moving on, this video was excellent! I hope that you get the opportunity to speak to the masses in person. The world really does need to see that gay or straight or some mix in between people should be treated with dignity and respect. Down with the homophobes and haters. We need a new kinder world. People need to think for themselves before stereotyping others!

  • this was excellent.

    and brings to mind Thomas beattie, the pregnant man, which of whom i have seen in person. i am proud to be from the same town as him. Little ol' Bend Oregon.

    by the way. you're adorable (:

  • wow maryb, ur amazing. i so agree. thanks.

  • Wow Mary that was excellent! You're an amazing person :)

  • I think I've watched this video 12 times since it's been published. It just makes me so happy :)

  • well that was unforgetable

  • You're wonderful.

  • thank you :)

    x

  • excellent video!

  • That was amazing. And I literally just said out loud, without noticing "Hmm, maybe I will describe to it...I mean subscribe."

    That is of course, once I'm a little less broke hah

  • why did you have to start crying at the end :'( i dont do well with tears

  • You have to be one of most inspiring writers I have ever had the pleasure of hearing you're work.

  • I lovelovelovelovelove you <3

  • I'm going to be honest....when i first saw this on my friends page, I cried.

    When I saw your eyes get a bit glassy my insides just crumbled.

    It's so amazing how, basically anyone who's been through that can find such comfort in someone else who has.

  • god your voice is soooooo sexy!!! you are a god!!!!

  • nicely put

  • God, you're beautiful. Thanks for making this, it was wonderful!! :) That truly was inspiring to me, very articulate and passionate and I loved it. Let me just jot this down so I remember it..."I deserve to be comfortable in my life and make myself at home in my body. I'm ok, and I'm me. "

  • I've actually had to quote that end part in my collection of inspiring "about me" section quotes on Facebook now. Alongside, just for perspective, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Alanis Morissette, and Regina Spektor. True wisdom and beauty live here.

  • Wow i really admire women who are "ok" though they do not fit the stereotypical belief of what someone *must* act like to be a "woman". Society really does need to change. You, and everyone else who chooses to be themselves, deserve to be comfortable. And i def. respect your strength.

  • omg Jess is a lucky girl. you are so wise and inspiring

  • mary, you are amazing.

    you inspire me so much, your music && your writing,

    im only fifteen but, when i grow up... i wanna be a haylee with talent like mary :P

    but thats beside the point.

    you are VERY talented, and you and jess are just about the most adorable couple i have ever seen, you remind me of me and my girlfriend :]] giggly little girls.

    anyways, thank you for the inspiration, and sometimes a smile on a really crappy day.

    thanks :]] <33

    -haylee.

  • you totaly *almost * made me cry

    you are a fantatsic writer

  • OH my...

    YOU are absolutely AMAZING!

    Im subscribing now :)

  • "I am me, and I am okay"

    This is why Mary B is one of my favorite people to be alive and by far my most favorite on the West Coast.

    I don't envy who you are because I am my own person but I aspire to be a role model to somebody, like you are a role model to many people who watch you as they grow and learn to be themselves and be okay.

    Your words are worth a million + bucks, but you my friend are priceless.

    Florda, Myself, and the east coast say "Hello"

    -Heathererer! :)

  • This is awe inspiring, and reduced me to tears, thank you, thank you Mary B.

  • Who are "they" anyway???

    Good point.

  • i couldnt agree more

    i have shown this to many ppl and have gotten them to open their minds around this concept, which is difficult since i live in the bible belt, where they say a boy should be a boy and a girl should be a girl.

    an amazing article, very stirring. i applaude you, and hope that one day i can write as moving as you ^.^

  • exactly. :) you are amazing at simplifying giant topics without diluting them or revoking meaning. hundreds of people gained understanding, i'm sure, through this video and all the other of condensed, maryb-covered topics (like prop102, etc). great job. fantabluous. :)

  • the way you talk girl in this video is like yOOOOO!!

    haaaaaaaaaaaa xD! i dont perfectly understand all the things u say cause im Greek but i like it! i like articulate ppl! bingoooooo maryb! lol (:

  • i've shown this video to so many people. i love it. and every time i watch it, i love it even more.