im still struggling with addiction. But your story inspired me. I have detoxed 20 times and i hate the fucking feeling of it and that whats makes me pick up again and agaiin. But im at the point of completely stopping its gettin old.
@valkor73 you don't have access to methadone? Im currently on it now..it will be 2 years in March that i have been on the stuff...Im starting to get sick of it...
i did dilaudid for months while in the hospital.. sad to say but i absolutely loved it. so i know with an addictive personality such as i have..so its sad to say, i would happily do heroin,despite everything i have seen about how pathetically horrible the addiction is... theres no better feeling to see those pin prick pupils
never heard of this ibogaine, but whats worse.. taking a risk on a drug that has killed a couple of folk or taking a drug everyday that kills thousands a year??.. trying it is worth the risk, but i can't see taking a hallucogen helping a habit
@hiphop101x i heard about it from a few ppl supposdley works but methadone worked for me don't even think abou the shit and was going down 7 mg every tues and 7 every sat!!! no craving nothing saved me
@lynnej1970 methadone in scotland and UK (in fact all europe) is free, as is counselling etc.. but u can't go get it like no1s buisness, you have to prove your addicted to opiates by a 'dirty' piss test, then after few weeks you will get it, but u gotta go to the pharmacy everyday unless you work or have proven you are clean from 'street' drugs for a good time, but people can linger on it for years, depends how much you wannna get 100% clean from ALL narcs! I found subuoxne more helpfull
@lynnej1970 sorry, u meant pay for the imogaine, not the methodone, there i was thinking ya was some american who had to pay for methodone when ya when on it
@hiphop101x yes i pay for mine..it depends u get it freif u go in everyday,,stuff that,,i choose to get takwe aways,go in 3 times a week..some places charge 60 every week but my chemist does it for 30 a week. :)
@lynnej1970 Hiya Lynne, I was on the smack for about ten years, and on the methadone for about a year. The methadone did help me give up but only because I saw what the future held in the faces of the other poor saps in the clinic. I knew I didn't want that kind of future. Do you have children Lynne? My little lad saved me, I didn't want him to grow up with a junkie (God I hate that word) for a dad.
@lynnej1970 Yeah I'm still clean and never even think about the stuff anymore. I would try and reduce the dosage as low as possible before giving it another go. Don't give up, even if you have a hiccup or two along the way.
@lynnej1970 Lynne I left a long reply to your message but your contact lock is on so I couldn't send it , it was a bit of a novel too,lol Message me anytime.
@ballockybill my contact thing is blocked for approvalwhen you send me a message,,oh ill have to fix that..oh no i hope i can work out what i didnt to not allow ppl to send cos i only wanted messages on the front page of my profile toas k for permission to publish not personal messages,,ok ill try fix it in the meantime ,,i like novels lol...
I feel like I have seen other documentaries about guys who turned to drugs for no other reason than that they were looking for some sense of identity. Being gay, I have a hard time wrapping my head around that one. When you're a straight white man, you are born advantaged. That *is* your identity. And would any of these guys trade those characteristics for life as a black or gay man? I think not. I'm sorry, but as s.o. who has to live with the identity of "gay," I find it hard to sympathize.
@jposh707 Identities are b.s. anyway. Imagine being a hermaphrodite, that's what I call a real identity quandry. You have lots of company with 15 out of 100 people who are also gay.
This Guy is amazing you have to have so much confidence to put this in pubic view he is awesome and makes me happy that he documents every bit of his addiction n withdrawal, if your an addict a recovering one in denial etc etc you have to have so much respect for this man. he had alot of confidence to make this and knows it would help someone. God bless this amzing man
I quit Ritalin by gradually taking smaller and smaller doses each week. Now, Ritalin is a stimulant, but it does have Methyl in it, which is meth-amphetamine. Very addictive.
@DrummerLordProdigy You make no sense. The methyl prefix in Methylphenidate (the drug known as Ritalin) means it has a methyl group in it's molecular structure, just like Methamphetamine. The methyl functional group is very common in organic chemistry but it's only part of a chemical's structure.
So Methylphenidate does not have Methamphetamine it it, but only a small part of the same structure as Methamphetamine. Have a look at their molecular structures to clarify.
I quit cold-turkey in prison from a $200.a day 3/yr habit.Then was clean & relapsed on my 4 year anniversary of being 100% clean due to severe personal problems so I chose to use suboxone & once I found the proper dose, I was able to quit after just over one week with NO serious withdrawal. This is far easier to use than Ibo & Ultimately IS a CHOICE. You MUST WANT to be clean, no rehab or other drug can help otherwise. Those who think suboxone only replaces one addiction for another ARE WRONG!!
i have been looking ibogaine up on the net and this is the only documentery on the subject from the addicts point of view.Can i ask you how many mls of methodone youwere on and why you didn't opt for a reduction course or subutex which are the options i have been given
Best of luck in your new lifeand i hope things are working out for you,try not to beat y'self up with guilt and let them near and dear know how muchyou love 'em
hi my name is aimee i am 25 years old i have been on methadone for 9 years now y dose is 65 mg a day and i want to get off so badly if ibogaine really has worked for you and you are now clean and healthy again than i think its a miracle, i wish i could have the chance to do what you have done here, i forget what its like to live without a substance chaining me me down every single day of my life! please respond to me with i little advise if you could be so kind.
how he is still alive after using heroin from 83 to 2003 i dont know, then again keith richards from the rolling stones was using heroin for like what 40+ years. Ridiculous
@joesatriani1200rulez ...-- Ridiculous? Why ridiculous.?.. In your comment everybody can imediatly understand that you don`t know what you`re talking about... you have no idea what means heroin addiction or methadon even... I took heroin about 25 years and I`m still here... completly clean of mind to tell you how ignorant you are... please, search some information about...
sometimes i look up these videos just to remind myself why ive never done/ tried heroin.
in the back of my mind sometimes i want to take a "risk" i want to "live dangerousely"
but then i see why you made this video, and i remember, ill be giving up alot of things.im about 75% done but i stopped to comment because of the true honesty i sensed it was incredible. just remember your video does 2 things, gives recovering addicts hope, and gives younger kids a warning. (click) back to the movie XD
@meganowen100 That guy is me and I have other films....the Scottish accents might be a problem though. Currently making a follow-up to this one!! Thanks for your comment!! DGS x
I've just watched the whole thing!! Absolutrely amazing you should be so proud - I wish I was as strong as you to do the same thing. But I think I should give methadone detox another go first, my only and first attempt was in prison - not a good place to succeed, I think I need to give it a go in the outside world. Watching certain bits at the start, it was like watching myself its uncanny... the double-life, when my mum first found out, too many similarities... I hope you are enjoying life now
I am a recovering addict, I completely related to your story. I have been clean for 3 years and know your daily struggle. I wish you continued success in your recovery. your story was so moving and I will keep you in my prayers. Like you, I come from a strong Scottish family and can not begin to imagine my recovery without them. Much love and respect to you and your family and friends.
@poesravenfan Hey man thats great! Im trying 2 get off this horrible life sucking drug i doing it for 5 years been trying to quit for last 4 5 months but keep going back in to same old circle. IF you have any advice that could help please if you can E-mail me at Mihirvp23@gmail.com Im open for any advice. Thank you
@poesravenfan i coulda wrote your comment as im exactly the same position as yourself, 3years clean, know how hard it can be, from a good family (also scottish).. much respect
@poesravenfan stay clean man, as you know by now it isn't worth it. I last used in 1984 an I'm 27 years clean. I like to say that I'm no longer a recovering addict. I've kicked it for good.
@marky77 Stay on course, it gets easier with time. I feel like I have never even touched the stuff, that's how long its been. I've been around heroin, seen it and have no desire for it. I pass it up like someone who's never done it before. Makes me so happy that I cry sometimes.
I just watched this whole documentary, I was glad to see you got off Heroin and Methadone, I hope you stay clean life's way too short as it is, enjoy the time you have and make it count for something.
Same soundtrack as trainspotting a movie about heroin great movie
tontaiameriki 3 days ago
im still struggling with addiction. But your story inspired me. I have detoxed 20 times and i hate the fucking feeling of it and that whats makes me pick up again and agaiin. But im at the point of completely stopping its gettin old.
IIEGYPTII 1 week ago
@IIEGYPTII have you ever tried methadone? Im currently on methadone myself now...Im sick of it..but a bit afraid to quit the methadone....
greenmisc 3 days ago
that ebagain looks horrific i dont understand how it got rid of the methadone withdrawals in a couple of days
fordham237 1 week ago
iv just came off my methadone on to soboxon i feel a lot better and hope you to are still well and on a good road peace
fordham237 1 week ago
Is this guy still clean now, 8yrs on?
bloodvendetta 1 week ago
youre lucky to have acess to methadone
valkor73 1 week ago
@valkor73 you don't have access to methadone? Im currently on it now..it will be 2 years in March that i have been on the stuff...Im starting to get sick of it...
greenmisc 3 days ago
methadone is a catch22 it works but it miss a dose sick as hell forever
valkor73 1 week ago
every1 in the world should see this
lookhowlongnameis 1 week ago
You did a PHENOMENAL job on this documentary, on every level.Thanks for posting it.
thetruthergirls 1 week ago
Stick with weed . . . You'll never bleed . . . .
88This0neGuy88 1 week ago 3
@88This0neGuy88 I quit smoking weed three days ago, I have a addictive personality
RSJuggo3 1 week ago
moving :(
geekboy888 1 week ago
at 41 minutes it's like he has graduated...that feeling
tallset2 1 week ago
Im 15 someone close to me and my best friend died from heroin so we made a short film about heroin please watch it
VisionFilms100 1 week ago
ive been clean for 12 years no sript but you are right its a daily battle. be strong. im with you both. jj.
MrDante1945 2 weeks ago
i did dilaudid for months while in the hospital.. sad to say but i absolutely loved it. so i know with an addictive personality such as i have..so its sad to say, i would happily do heroin,despite everything i have seen about how pathetically horrible the addiction is... theres no better feeling to see those pin prick pupils
wermzor 3 weeks ago
@wermzor please don't :( but i know what u mean
hotchillibot 1 week ago
11:34 Really disturbing to see a family ending up like them.
davie0123 3 weeks ago
never heard of this ibogaine, but whats worse.. taking a risk on a drug that has killed a couple of folk or taking a drug everyday that kills thousands a year??.. trying it is worth the risk, but i can't see taking a hallucogen helping a habit
hiphop101x 3 weeks ago
@hiphop101x i heard about it from a few ppl supposdley works but methadone worked for me don't even think abou the shit and was going down 7 mg every tues and 7 every sat!!! no craving nothing saved me
summmer138 3 weeks ago
13.10 lol Del-Boy fucked on skag!!
hiphop101x 3 weeks ago
Has any one watched watch over me >?
tusia750 3 weeks ago
Comment removed
lynnej1970 3 weeks ago
@lynnej1970 methadone in scotland and UK (in fact all europe) is free, as is counselling etc.. but u can't go get it like no1s buisness, you have to prove your addicted to opiates by a 'dirty' piss test, then after few weeks you will get it, but u gotta go to the pharmacy everyday unless you work or have proven you are clean from 'street' drugs for a good time, but people can linger on it for years, depends how much you wannna get 100% clean from ALL narcs! I found subuoxne more helpfull
hiphop101x 3 weeks ago
Comment removed
lynnej1970 3 weeks ago
@lynnej1970 sorry, u meant pay for the imogaine, not the methodone, there i was thinking ya was some american who had to pay for methodone when ya when on it
hiphop101x 3 weeks ago
@hiphop101x yes i pay for mine..it depends u get it freif u go in everyday,,stuff that,,i choose to get takwe aways,go in 3 times a week..some places charge 60 every week but my chemist does it for 30 a week. :)
lynnej1970 3 weeks ago
@lynnej1970 Hiya Lynne, I was on the smack for about ten years, and on the methadone for about a year. The methadone did help me give up but only because I saw what the future held in the faces of the other poor saps in the clinic. I knew I didn't want that kind of future. Do you have children Lynne? My little lad saved me, I didn't want him to grow up with a junkie (God I hate that word) for a dad.
ballockybill 2 weeks ago
Comment removed
lynnej1970 3 weeks ago
you cant get of the shit methadone..its worse than heroin.
lynnej1970 3 weeks ago
Comment removed
lynnej1970 3 weeks ago
@lynnej1970 Hi there, you know it is possible to come off methadone. I'm not saying it's fun but I went cold from 70mls a day.
ballockybill 3 weeks ago
Comment removed
lynnej1970 3 weeks ago
@lynnej1970 Yeah I'm still clean and never even think about the stuff anymore. I would try and reduce the dosage as low as possible before giving it another go. Don't give up, even if you have a hiccup or two along the way.
ballockybill 3 weeks ago
Comment removed
lynnej1970 3 weeks ago
Comment removed
lynnej1970 3 weeks ago
@lynnej1970 Lynne I left a long reply to your message but your contact lock is on so I couldn't send it , it was a bit of a novel too,lol Message me anytime.
ballockybill 1 week ago
@ballockybill my contact thing is blocked for approvalwhen you send me a message,,oh ill have to fix that..oh no i hope i can work out what i didnt to not allow ppl to send cos i only wanted messages on the front page of my profile toas k for permission to publish not personal messages,,ok ill try fix it in the meantime ,,i like novels lol...
lynnej1970 1 week ago
3 People Died from ibogaine.
abk4202020 3 weeks ago
I feel like I have seen other documentaries about guys who turned to drugs for no other reason than that they were looking for some sense of identity. Being gay, I have a hard time wrapping my head around that one. When you're a straight white man, you are born advantaged. That *is* your identity. And would any of these guys trade those characteristics for life as a black or gay man? I think not. I'm sorry, but as s.o. who has to live with the identity of "gay," I find it hard to sympathize.
jposh707 3 weeks ago
@jposh707 Identities are b.s. anyway. Imagine being a hermaphrodite, that's what I call a real identity quandry. You have lots of company with 15 out of 100 people who are also gay.
IronicalSmirk 3 weeks ago
amazing. very moving
reidy103jr 3 weeks ago
This Guy is amazing you have to have so much confidence to put this in pubic view he is awesome and makes me happy that he documents every bit of his addiction n withdrawal, if your an addict a recovering one in denial etc etc you have to have so much respect for this man. he had alot of confidence to make this and knows it would help someone. God bless this amzing man
SouthernCalifornia69 4 weeks ago
Amazing.... God bless you and your family, emotional for me viewing let alone parents.
Thanks for the video brave man!!!
y4smin1 1 month ago
awesome!!!
rembrant734 1 month ago
very interesting
TheHornyGorrilaz 1 month ago
I quit Ritalin by gradually taking smaller and smaller doses each week. Now, Ritalin is a stimulant, but it does have Methyl in it, which is meth-amphetamine. Very addictive.
DrummerLordProdigy 1 month ago
@DrummerLordProdigy You make no sense. The methyl prefix in Methylphenidate (the drug known as Ritalin) means it has a methyl group in it's molecular structure, just like Methamphetamine. The methyl functional group is very common in organic chemistry but it's only part of a chemical's structure.
So Methylphenidate does not have Methamphetamine it it, but only a small part of the same structure as Methamphetamine. Have a look at their molecular structures to clarify.
LT89NL 3 weeks ago
I quit cold-turkey in prison from a $200.a day 3/yr habit.Then was clean & relapsed on my 4 year anniversary of being 100% clean due to severe personal problems so I chose to use suboxone & once I found the proper dose, I was able to quit after just over one week with NO serious withdrawal. This is far easier to use than Ibo & Ultimately IS a CHOICE. You MUST WANT to be clean, no rehab or other drug can help otherwise. Those who think suboxone only replaces one addiction for another ARE WRONG!!
1AppleofEden 1 month ago 5
i have been looking ibogaine up on the net and this is the only documentery on the subject from the addicts point of view.Can i ask you how many mls of methodone youwere on and why you didn't opt for a reduction course or subutex which are the options i have been given
Best of luck in your new lifeand i hope things are working out for you,try not to beat y'self up with guilt and let them near and dear know how muchyou love 'em
thank you Ste
hanghang71 1 month ago
hi my name is aimee i am 25 years old i have been on methadone for 9 years now y dose is 65 mg a day and i want to get off so badly if ibogaine really has worked for you and you are now clean and healthy again than i think its a miracle, i wish i could have the chance to do what you have done here, i forget what its like to live without a substance chaining me me down every single day of my life! please respond to me with i little advise if you could be so kind.
aimeegirl98 1 month ago
how he is still alive after using heroin from 83 to 2003 i dont know, then again keith richards from the rolling stones was using heroin for like what 40+ years. Ridiculous
joesatriani1200rulez 1 month ago
@joesatriani1200rulez ...-- Ridiculous? Why ridiculous.?.. In your comment everybody can imediatly understand that you don`t know what you`re talking about... you have no idea what means heroin addiction or methadon even... I took heroin about 25 years and I`m still here... completly clean of mind to tell you how ignorant you are... please, search some information about...
arrotvs1 3 weeks ago
sometimes i look up these videos just to remind myself why ive never done/ tried heroin.
in the back of my mind sometimes i want to take a "risk" i want to "live dangerousely"
but then i see why you made this video, and i remember, ill be giving up alot of things.im about 75% done but i stopped to comment because of the true honesty i sensed it was incredible. just remember your video does 2 things, gives recovering addicts hope, and gives younger kids a warning. (click) back to the movie XD
bluetower11 1 month ago
who is this guy and has he any more films out there please
meganowen100 1 month ago
@meganowen100 That guy is me and I have other films....the Scottish accents might be a problem though. Currently making a follow-up to this one!! Thanks for your comment!! DGS x
davidgrahamscott 1 month ago
Unfiltered fascinating insight. Worth to be watchend and discussed.
EdiSchwager 1 month ago
I've just watched the whole thing!! Absolutrely amazing you should be so proud - I wish I was as strong as you to do the same thing. But I think I should give methadone detox another go first, my only and first attempt was in prison - not a good place to succeed, I think I need to give it a go in the outside world. Watching certain bits at the start, it was like watching myself its uncanny... the double-life, when my mum first found out, too many similarities... I hope you are enjoying life now
harKazoid86 1 month ago
good 4 u!
ang11109 1 month ago
I am a recovering addict, I completely related to your story. I have been clean for 3 years and know your daily struggle. I wish you continued success in your recovery. your story was so moving and I will keep you in my prayers. Like you, I come from a strong Scottish family and can not begin to imagine my recovery without them. Much love and respect to you and your family and friends.
poesravenfan 2 months ago 26
@poesravenfan Hey man thats great! Im trying 2 get off this horrible life sucking drug i doing it for 5 years been trying to quit for last 4 5 months but keep going back in to same old circle. IF you have any advice that could help please if you can E-mail me at Mihirvp23@gmail.com Im open for any advice. Thank you
SolidSnake23x 1 month ago
@SolidSnake23x Have you ever thought of trying Methadone?
greenmisc 1 month ago
@poesravenfan i coulda wrote your comment as im exactly the same position as yourself, 3years clean, know how hard it can be, from a good family (also scottish).. much respect
hiphop101x 3 weeks ago
@poesravenfan keep strong man, and well done
geekboy888 1 week ago
@poesravenfan stay clean man, as you know by now it isn't worth it. I last used in 1984 an I'm 27 years clean. I like to say that I'm no longer a recovering addict. I've kicked it for good.
Thuggin2222 1 week ago
@Thuggin2222 I'm 62 days sober (alcohol) an WOW you're 27 years is such an inspiration! You've been clean longer than I've been alive!
marky77 1 week ago
@marky77 Stay on course, it gets easier with time. I feel like I have never even touched the stuff, that's how long its been. I've been around heroin, seen it and have no desire for it. I pass it up like someone who's never done it before. Makes me so happy that I cry sometimes.
Thuggin2222 1 week ago
@Thuggin2222 good for you my friend! good for you! Im currently on methadone..It will be 2 years in March....I want to stop but im afraid..
greenmisc 3 days ago
Great story. Good to see your clean!
PrototypeMusic002 2 months ago
WELL DONE!!!!Good to see you're happy and alive!!!! x x
westminster72 2 months ago
Real-life "Trainspotting".
FireMinstrel 3 months ago 16
I just watched this whole documentary, I was glad to see you got off Heroin and Methadone, I hope you stay clean life's way too short as it is, enjoy the time you have and make it count for something.
Blessings,
Rose (CASCT)
Wela143 5 months ago
very good!!!!
IloveTenerife1 5 months ago
wow, this is amazing! all those steps that he took, to end his drug habit, is absolutely amazing! Thanks be to God for this!
pepperbunny14 5 months ago
wow, this film was raw. I know it will help someone get help/
JaedaBarbie 5 months ago