Chris Rock "Kill The Messenger": Half Hour Lunchbreak (HBO)

[jeremydd98]

"i bet if i shot yo ass i could finish this sandwich" rofl

[jeremydd98]

"i bet if i shot yo ass i could finish this sandwich" rofl

[eraider60]

My mom gets an hour lunch break at her job...

[janjonasappel]

@eraider60 What crime she committed?

[eraider60]

@janjonasappel She didn't commit a crime. She works at a Wal-Mart.

[janjonasappel]

@eraider60 I know m8. Just kiddin'. Was in a kinda stoned mood :).

[eraider60]

@janjonasappel Ooohhhh, okay.

[MusicDivaK]

I don't even get a break.. I have to eat at my desk >_<

[nayru33]

I'm studying nursing and every placement I've been on we have f**king half hour lunch breaks on a 12 and a half hour shift....

[XoriginalXBOXguidesX]

fuck, I totally have a half hour lunch break....fuck my life

[504NOwestbank]

Lmaoooo!!!!!

[tashatasha77]

The bleeps make this suck...Chris is Hilarious....i wanna eat like a murderer:)

[21specter]

HBO IS A BUNCH OF WUSSIES!

[methodize808]

Im fine with 30 mins lunch break. That means i leave work 30 means earlier.

[lifeisbeautiful786]

@methodize808 me too. id rather have a 30min lunch break and then leave 30min earlier lol.

[destyrian]

So true. Know how they came up with the 30 minute lunch break? Some American corp sat down and calculated how long it should take a person to go eat, use the bathroom etc, so they can get more work out of you. Then of course the world copies them. Fuck you!

[realtalk897]

WTF??? I HAVE A 15 MIN LUNCH BREAK? Mine sucks twice as much damn lol

[joebobbyrobot]

@realtalk897 hahaha, i dont get a lunch break. how bout that?

[realtalk897]

@joebobbyrobot damn....... okay, you win!

[joebobbyrobot]

@realtalk897 im a lifeguard and my shift is 6 hours. but i do get down time to eat when there is no one in the pool. kinda have to eat on the fly.

[busenbeisser]

@joebobbyrobot  are you pool boy?

[masatje]

@joebobbyrobot Man, that has got to suck when someone is drowning just after you ate. Yeah sorry man, I can't rescue you know, I need to wait half an hour after eating to get into the pool.

[anonymousollie]

dont bleep the fucks 

[Lildaquerri3]

"By the time it takes you put on your jacket, walk around the corner, go to the Sandwich shop, Order a sandwich, Wait for them to make it, 28 minutes have passed! Now you're rushing back to work, you're eating your sandwich, you're spillin beer down your shirt. And when you get in your boss got the Nerve to go "Hey man You're 8 minutes late" Fuck you!" lmao i love that XD

[StephBrit]

SERIOUSLY i work at Discover 1/2 hr lunch. I mean im gay and can swallow but shat

[skvakagud]

@StephBrit HAHAHHAAHAH ROFL !

[watusayin01]

LMAOO he iz 2funni

[largey112]

Fucking hbo bleeping out the swear words, fuck off. It's just a fucking word

[cripbuddz]

omg dats so fuckin true. I worked at mcdonalds and it took me 10 minutes to get my fuckin order and by da time i was eatin n shit these bitchy filipino ladies were like um are u done im like " no! it hasnt even been half an hour!!!"

[FANEEDOOLE]

lol dis is his best stand up better then bigger and blacker in my opinion

[cripbuddz]

@FANEEDOOLE no way bigger n blacker was da best stand up

[Voodoofreak35]

My second favorite standup comedian of all time, next to George Carlin.

[lilxcarebear]

Ahah! So true!

[cenamontana1989]

Love this show! I own "Never Scared" and "Bigger and Blacker" tho I cant find this one unless I go to a city, lol

CHRIS ROCK ROXS!

[memetutuyesyes]

Tell me about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ElzaFerrer]

I only remember Madagascar

[littlemisswhat]

HAHA yea me too! when he talks, a picture of that zebra flashes in my head..

[67shelbygt5001]

i bet if i shot your ass i could finish this sandwich

LMAO!!

[nenalatina84]

man this is great i watched this too many times but its still funny

[chucktaylor974]

AT CHUCK E CHEESE WE HAD 20 MINS

[XXLilConverseXX]

LOL Chris rock,funniest guy ever! :)

[thagodfather007]

when was this ???2009????  this hilarious

[kimest3e]

...as I sit here on my F'ed up 30 min lunch break. 15 min waiting for the microwave.

[Santinathongdyc]

Good movie. Just watched it again at Your Movie HQ . com .. 5 stars

[RickWolf68]

sure the pre election section of this show was funny as hell back then but whats rock think bout obama today? or would it be "no comment" like seems to be the case with the rest of america or a year later still with the" just give him time" crowed? how funny is it or should i say how many promises you feel been honored so farbut chris rock seemed to think shit was gonna change so far only changes been the date .. total reform of government now thats a change would matter fuck all politicians

[MultiRey619]

@Katelincupelliq thanks dude

[bobbydigital82]

chris rock has really turned to crap.... this was some of the worst standup ever.

[PSVpyromaan]

"I bet if I shot yo ass I can finish this sandwich" hahaha, one of the worlds funniest guys, chris rock.

[scrax6]

he is really funny but he repeats himself to mch

[jamaicandondadaa]

apple sauce lmao

[YouTabacco]

too true - fuk the damn bosses.... treat us like damn chickens...

[Viconiuz]

ok, was Dat Supdosed To be FunNY or SOMTHIGN??

[ExoticFireGirl]

SO TRUE. Those half hour breaks re lame. I used to fuckin hurry my ass off. fuckin 10 minutes walk to the place, hurry eat it in 5/7 minutes and then 10 minytes back walking/running.

[Saymyname280]

I agree!

[toastwitbutteryo]

i can deff relate

[Antihobo71]

lmao try working at a pub... lunch break??? i wish...

Eating was hoping you walked by your plate so you could take a bite. Hoping you walked by often enough to finish the shit before it got cold.

[higgzster]

i think hes hilarios

[A7xdrumr]

i get almost 2 hours for lunch :)

[AleksM1991]

fuck me... how long do you need to eat :D

[A7xdrumr]

its not long enough!

[justmeagain6]

what does he say at 0:55

[tonyakabadboii]

i bet if i shot yo ass i could finish this sandwich

[justmeagain6]

thanx

[A7xdrumr]

i bet if i shot your ass i could finish this sandwich

[kingofallthedamned]

he says i bet if i shot ure ass i can finish this sandwich

[RockNRollSoldier1]

"i bet if i shot yo ass i could finish this sandwich"

[ladybling123]

Please do not bleep all the fucking and fuck you's. Some people here are from Europe and over here we are not so cramped up about that shit. Besides it's the fuck you's that make him so goddamn funny!

[heucatia]

God I totally agree!! You Americans need to chill when it comes to all of that swearing censorship deal...

Love this guy, he does tell it like it is!! LOLOL

[NFLdude505]

LOL....here in America were not cramped,it's jus the dude who put this vid up,we loove all the fucks too!!!!!

[09maddox]

@ladybling123 Cussing or not the fuck you's might help but that isnt what truly makes him funny . There are other things he talks about too without cussing .

[SuperOxideDimutase]

@ladybling123 That's because Europe has the right to free speech, but we are working on getting that here in the U.S. too.......

[joebobbyrobot]

@ladybling123 im from the usa, and im with you on that. its fucking ridiculous how people over here act when you drop "fuck" into a sentence and there little johnny or susie hears it. ill bet you any amount of fucking money that they will use "foul language" when they get older.

[jnprather]

@ladybling123 Considering that this is an ad for the DVD, maybe it's a good reason to BUY THE DVD.

[alexrydercarter]

@ladybling123 i rekon if its on the internet nothing should be censored. not like your kids gonna randomly stumble upon Chris Rock swearing and shit hha

[calvinandhobbes730]

@ladybling123 its not the nation its the fucking soccer moms in every nation

[Channel45Productions]

I bet if i shot yo ass id finish this sandwich! hahaha lmfao.

[021311]

Get "a" hour?

[sitinabar88]

can i at least eat like a freaking murderer.. LOL!!

[hybridflare]

He tells it like it is

[hotshotgolf99]

i'm currently trying to make a stickman cartoon thingy 4 this vid and maby a couple more of chris rocks, cuz he jus cracks me up so bad =), u see loads 4 lik dane cook nd stuff so i said y not chris!

[PlayaplayaAP]

i bet if shot yo ass i could finish this sandwhich lmfao

[DarkLirio01]

I love this joke, its so freaking hilarious

[AlexSeddon11]

hahaha funny man

[Arcanerain]

I LOOVE CHRIS ROCK

[1a1a2a3a]

lmfao i have a half hour lunch break

[Kaffeposan]

then you might have to shoot your boss :o

[1a1a2a3a]

haha... :S

[mnpd007]

Chris Rock reminds me of Richard Pryor in that both used comedy as a vehicle for social and political commentary.

Pryor focused more on social issues, while Rock focuses more on political issues.

They both were very good at what they did.

[KevinTheNoobie]

Why would HBO censor this?

And on YOUTUBE!!

[galabizo]

AHAHAHAHAHA

[Corbycorbz123]

THe whole censored swearing just ruined it :(

[nenalatina84]

shyt is too funny... can i atleast eat like a murderer? lmao

[Galacticus07]

chris is so right ...but as eddie griffen said freedom ,freedom is what we need ...so at 34 im self employed ..sometimes we in the west dont see how little freedom and how our rights as humans have been eroded ..think about ..sunday trade came in the last recession ...in the 90s ..now in the US/UK banks are thinking of opening boxing day and bank holidays ..freedom/family values ..sheesh ..gone ...wake up people .

[brockengal]

Mine is worse, I dont have a lunchbreak, Just pretend am going to the wasroom and jump into the kithchen for a bite. Literally babysitting mine.

[xsweenyxtoddx]

"i bet if i shot your ass i could finish this sandwich"

LOVE the way he says sandwich there

LOVE him all together =]

[jamiebridges123]

i have a half hour lunch break. :(

[Illumirage]

I'm sorry to hear that. I've been there too though, and he's soo right. You'll get your sandwich in 28 min if your lucky in some places.

[aamidjay]

"I wouldn't be late if I shot yo ass!" ahahahahaha

[Napstrpsx]

Haha I just ordered this online, can't wait to get it. The internship I have now and the one I had before have 1/2 hours lunch breaks and it sucks!

[hnybear385]

this is beyond true!!! chris rock ain't never lied!!! my last job only gave me a half hour lunch break and sometimes i couldn't even finish my whole lunch!! it was terrible!!!

[acotw67]

hnybear385:

Yeah. Boses will do WHATEVER they think they can get away with-so read up on your State's Labor code, then say"Suck on dat, Mr. A....H... E

[arc8iablue]

I think most states only require 1/2 hour, but not sure on that. I work as a pharmacy tech and we are supposed to take 1/2 hour because there are so many of us and we take turns. On days we close, I was told that the Pharmacy Board does not allow us to close for more than 1/2 hour for lunch. Not sure if that's true. Regardless, it sucks - even if you brown-bag it you still have to gulp it down - :(

[acotw67]

arc8iablue:

Very good point. I was referring to the type of petty bossyboots that simply must emphasize authority rather than do anything constructive. Some employers will do anything illegal or unethical they can get away with, such as demanding unpaid overtime or 15 MINUTE LUNCH BREAKS WHILE DEDUCTING 30 MINS. The pharmacy board,might be concerned about worst case scenarios; a diabetics who wait suntil the last minute to pick up insulin, a patient w/a new Rx needing a consult, etc.

[acotw67]

Whoever said humor is funniest when it contains truth was right. CHRIS ROCK. IS IT.He's balls out fearless and right more often than not.

One boss had the nerve to scold me for returning 2 MINUTES LATE from lunch. When he paused for breath...

ME: It is 3 minutes after 1PM, Mr. A.

HE: That's still late. You were supposed to return at ONE O'CLOCK.

ME: It's getting even later as you speak. I'm going back to my desk.

I quit later. Mr.A later had a heart attack during a tantrum. SWEET.

[hnybear385]

oh damn... but that was a good comeback though... i'm sayin that to my next boss if he's like that lol

[blackclassics]

: ) Is this story true? I mean about the heart attack?  :- ) That is too funny.

[acotw67]

blackclassics:

It is true. This happened at a TINY firm in San Francisco in 1998. Mr. A had screaming rages on a regular basis-I still think his secretary might have been spiking his coffee with No Doz. She hated her job, her boss, and the pay; hence she seethed, snarled, and pouted. Maybe feeling like a $5.00 whore caused her vile attitude. Anyway, Mr. A has some sort of "cardiac episode". TRUE. I'm not sure if it was a serious heart attack, or merely severe tachycardia.

[Kittyrins]

If it's one thing about Chris Rock...he's blunt, to the point and speaks nothing but the honest truth..lmao

[nursafwah]

hahah fucking funny!

[hollyhollyrose]

This is to true! I have been there.

[hellnback05]

i def know wat he talking about LOL