Added: 1 year ago
From: TheOnion
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  • If such a law were passed, people would protest it.

  • @jmarkhinton Uh, no... The Onion is satire.... Satire is making fun of the opposite opinion while pretending to be part of the opinion of which you are making fun. They are minimizing loveless, heterosexual couples acting like THEIR love is trivial. Like when they talk about the loveless couple not able to go to the hospital and bitch about how much the costs of their healthcare is. Or that it will hurt the cruise industry, making it obvious that it doesn't affect anything. It's random.

  • This should be true!

    

  • I've been in a loveless marriage ever since the bible and the koran came out of the closet

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  • I think they should make it seem even more real for the dumbbasses. They can do it by not responding to each other so quick, because it takes a couple of seconds for a sound to get to the reporters location.

  • @armedyboyedik1995 Yeah, I've always thought that too!

  • @donphonica hehe.

  • In the immortal words of Mel Brooks' Masterpiece, "Spaceballs:"

    "Excuse me. I'm trying to conduct a wedding here which has nothing to do with love. Please be quiet!"

  • This just in; pimps, hookaz and health care workers gathered at the IRS to protest

  • LOL "Violently brushing Lint of each-other's shoulders" rofl!

  • Probably one of their more brilliant satires. I fucking love the onion.

  • Damn you Shia LaBeouf! Again?! Haven't you done enough to us with Transformers and Crystal Skull?

  • Remember on the 2012 election don't vote for change, vote for the lulz!!!!

  • This is kind of sad actually ;_;

  • government has no fucking right to do that...!!!

  • @TheYouwontgetit ITS FAKE!

  • @cuttercrash76033 ...people must really hate you...

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  • @TheYouwontgetit U mad bro?

  • @cuttercrash76033 ...why...? ...because people hate you...? ...dude, that is your fight...

  • ROFL i thought i was watching a real news report till 1:01. God I love the onion.

  • lol that sign said i hate mi wife.`....then send her to lil wayne...hell take care of her

  • This is brilliant.

  • Let the cruise ship industry fall! Filled with greed and corruption anyway.

  • to ruin another childhood memory, TRANSFORMERS haha YES, he did ruin it haha woooo, im gunna just smack head against a wall some more so i can relate to you people

  • "It's been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon..." :P

  • For the love of god, is no one thinking of the cruise ship industry!!!!!??

  • this is copying the whole gay marriage thing, and yes i am a sherlock:)

  • Oh, Youtube. Your videos attract so many trolls.

  • i don't think this law can work... ...because how would you measure the lovelessnes

  • Good one!

  • 2:28 is too true to be funny...

  • Damn Shia lebeouf... leboeuf or however the hell you spell it

  • THIS IS REAL GOD DAMNIT!

    ANYONE WHO CLAIMS OTHERWISE IS A MOTHER FUCKING LIAR!

  • In most cases, the same people commenting on here and believing these stories are real, are the same people that our allowed to vote every 4 years on presidential candidates...

  • @ShotgunDiplomat You got the words are and our confused. Who is the stupid one now?

  • @Youtubbemain I got a 66% accuracy ratio and didn't even spell check. My point still stands regardless. Why does everybody on Youtube think they need to act superior over people based on simple grammatical mistakes and typos? It's so childish. Do you have anything to say to that?

  • @ShotgunDiplomat I think its more hilarious when people like you do not realize most of them are people like me fucking with people like you's minds/

  • @ShotgunDiplomat ARE allowed..

  • I think if loveless marrigies get forbidden in the future, it will be peace on earth

  • This should be real. Also sex between two people should be banned as well.

  • @lurch321 Yes, loveless sex should be banned too, :-D...

  • This should be real.

  • 1:28 Love how they threw in a dick on the garage door lmao

  • Everything about this is a parallel on the gay marriage movement.. What I wanna know is if they're mocking the gay marriage movement, saying it'll equate loveless marriages or mocking the idiocy of the fact that fight needs to be fought in the first place.. I'm betting it's more like we should fight against loveless marriage instead of gay marriage

  • @Izlandzadi14 thats what i take from it. putting the gay marriage issue in perspective a little by comparing t to this mock issue, the loveless marriages.... which is very clever and true. anna nichole can marry an 80 yearold for his money, and two homo's cant marry one another.... pretty dumb. they will look back in a hundred years like wtf...

  • @Izlandzadi14 ...It has nothing to do with pro this or anti that, its a joke.

  • @MrBrilliantChaos I know it's a satirical thing! I know what the Onion is. I'm drawing a parallel, not saying that this is what it's directly talking about.

  • @Izlandzadi14 its nullifying the homosexual movements arguement that "marriage is between two people who love eachother" as opposed to "two people of opposite genders"

  • @Jnest55 Whatever you think, it's open to interpretation.

  • @Jnest55 It's not nullifying it; it's making fun of the opposition to gay marriage. All the examples they use against "loveless marriage" are twisted out of the arguments against gay marriage to show how stupid they are when applied to a different hypothetical situation. The general idea they are implying is that people are imposing what they think is right in their relationships to other people's marriages.

  • @Taricus - um, no - its making fun of those who support gay marriage. haha

  • Love it, the US is so morally retarded.

  • @7th75thCallaghan

    This isn't a real video you dumb fuck. It's meant to be funny.

  • @BLAZINxKUSH We all know that you dumb fuck, it is called satire, and the humour works because it is based on reality, the onion makes fun of the moral retardation of your nation, among other things.

  • Putting internet in trailer parks is obviously not progress.

  • "The Court has taken it´s deceision... Sir and Miss, according to the Law you are guilty of loveless marriage crime. The punishment is two months prison, and the reward is divorce ".

  • Love this idea " ban loveless marriages"... But, wait a minute...: How will one judge if a marrige is loveless? Who will report them?! ;-/

  • BRILLIANT!!!!

    

  • I am aware this is fake, but I think all marriage should be banned. If you really love someone, that should be enough.... Marriage is about taxes, money and showing off. But what do I know, I'm just a divorced woman whose husband had an affair on her. I threw 100% into my marriage and what did I get back? Disappointment, betrayal, heartbreak... Marriage is no more permanent than any other relationship. You're delusional if you think it is.

  • @VooDooLynx Obviously he didnt love and is a pussy you any real man who loves his woman would never do that. That happens a lot but that doesnt mean marriages should be banned, i mean come on.

  • @VooDooLynx I remember in my schools Health class my teacher told me that "Marriage is for life" since I was talking crap about married people. People who get married need to get there heads examined. If you get attached to somebody "special" my best advice: cheat, CHEAT, CHEAT because you don't nessicarily need to be married for Disappointment, betrayal and heartbreak that usually does come with the WHOLE package :)

  • theism fails

  • This is taking the “but they can’t procreate” train of logic to its extreme, thus showing just how ridiculous an argument it is.

  • that shia labeouf at the end was genius.

  • I support this bill, down with loveless marriage!

  • i love how ALWAYS....on all Onion news Network Videos, the highest rated comment is telling some idiot its fake

  • @mrapter7 Well now you ruined it.

  • I knew it was fake the moment this started, the news isn't meant to look like a crisp HD in your face look.

  • i wish society was really like this, this makes even more sense than irl situations hahaha

  • I love these guys lol

  • Love the part about Shia Labeouf! Bahahaha :)

  • what I wouldn't give for this to be real

  • Tell me why that female reporter looks like Michael Jackson.

  • Could someone tell me how the fuck this was flagged? There was no hate speech or anything objectionable.

    Probably because this is unfunny.

  • whats that picture of at the bottom of the note on garadge at 1:31 ????

  • "god hates staying together for the kids" hahaha

  • viewer discretion is advised...

  • the chick reporter is hot

  • Resenting your spouse is a constitutional right!

    I'm happy to be miserable!

    We're not bothering anyone but each other!

    Eh' it's too late! LMAO!! People seem to be okay with being miserable!

  • Comedy is serious business. This is no laughing matter.

  • @CrimsonToast Oh, the irony <3

  • You can never have too much of TheOnion! XD

  • that protest is the dumbest thing I have ever seen. People fighting for the right to be married to someone they can't stand. It makes absolutely no sense. So gays that love each other are NOT allowed to marry but straight couples that hate each other can. STUPID

  • @lipstickonthemirror Um... you do realize this is FAKE, right?

  • @donnely138 Well, it's still more based in fact than Fox News. At least that "hole in the space time continuum used to promote 'lost'" explains what CERN's been doing lately...

  • @lipstickonthemirror you are so insightful and smart. thank god we have you here to point these things out for us.

  • @lipstickonthemirror u just made a fool of yourself

  • @lipstickonthemirror Dumbass...

  • @lipstickonthemirror everyone thumbs up this stupid bitch so all future viewers can bask in her intelligence!

  • @PaintballOwnager I just don't understand how anybody can think this is a real news show. It's really sad. :(

  • @PaintballOwnager already did

  • @lipstickonthemirror LMAO, just be quiet please, don't embarrass yourself

  • this is not a joke its a tru critique of "normal" ppl

  • I think this is pretty ridiculous. I mean ok if they have to love each other while they are married that's a given. But I mean if they fall out of love they shouldn't be forced to divorce, that happens enough already.

  • what's wrong with people not loving each other marrying? marriage is buisness and is not the slightest related to relationships, you can just choose for it to be so.

  • Some days I hate my wife, but that doesn't mean I hate her everyday. I wonder where I'll fall under the new law?

  • @Curiner Gays shouldnt have rights. Nobody likes them, they are sick and disgusting. Stay at home and pretend your not gay if your gay. Either that or jail. Thats what a clean society would be like.

  • well say goodbye to 99% of eharmony marrages

  • What's with the reporters nose? Bad plastics job gone so wrong!

  • I'm against marriage between people who don't love each other because It's in the bible that God made marriage for people who does love each other . (joke)

  • 133 people dont understand satire

  • Lol tat was weird

    And don't get all confused , the onion is fake news lol

  • FUCK YOU SHIA LA BUFF! I HATE YOU! hahahah

  • Oh wait, does that mean Gay marriage is legal now so long as they love each other?

    Hurray for progress!

  • @ljyong21 Openly gay people should face the lethal injection. Gay marriages are a step back.

  • @rimlanin Openly retarded people on the internet should face the electric chair.

    Religious fundamentalism was, is, and continue to be a step back in civilization.

  • @ljyong21 Im not religious.

  • @rimlanin Nah, I know. Just trollin'.

  • @rimlanin Bulgaria??Bulgaria is a very poor country,and it's inhabitants are very uncivilized.

  • @nassah23 Bulgaria is a very shitty country indeed. Still does not change that what I said is true.

  • @rimlanin Bulgaria is a 3rd world country unhabited by subhumans = a bulgarian's words don't carry any kind of fucking weight....What you said is hogwash..BTW why do you wanna kill gay people? We all know that bulgaria is the place where old gay euro men go to buy young bulgarian boys..Why do you wanna kill the same folks who are brave and nice enough to travel to such a hell hole to spend money?Don't you know without gay people traveling to bulgaria to buy asses you people would be worst?Ingrat

  • @nassah23 Because gay people are disgusting. If your gay, keep it fucking private, nobody wants to vomit because of your gayness. Bulgaria is a shitty country, but that does not change the facts.

  • @rimlanin You find gay people disgusting but are willing to sale your ass to them..I think gay people keep it fucking private..I never heard of any story about "old western euro men fucking cheap bulgarian boys in the streets of sofia",I guess they fuck those cheap bulgarians boys in cheap decrepit motels out of sight...Stop lying about vomiting..You cannot vomit if your stomach is empty and you are starving.Are you gonna vomit your intestines and lungs?bulgaria is pure hell and a brothel 4 gays

  • @nassah23 If it was, faggot marriages would be allowed. And how could I be starving? I just ate freash meat. You know, theres a lot of tasty animals near gay people's heads on pikes we have around here. All the thrill of the hunt with none of the danger.

  • @rimlanin You are bulgarian = once upon a time you were a rent a boy = you are an ex fag..You are starving because you are living in a poor country where young men are selling their asses for a loaf of bread..You are right ,there are only 3 ways a bulgarian can afford some meat..1- suck on some rich western euro gay meat 2- canibalism..3- eat  mouse-eared bat or grey long-eared bat

    .weren't you people the subjects of Vlad the Impaler? So gay,straight,old or ,young you people eat them all..

  • @nassah23 I don't know if thats what you do in the United States of Faggotry, but not in Europe we don't.

  • @rimlanin Europe? LMAO..Europe is comprised of countries like France,U.K,Norway,Finland ,etc..bulgaria is in a class by itself,it's a country of beggers and male prostitutes. The U.S. Government has provided foreign assistance to Bulgaria since 1990, with a total investment of more than $800 million, making it the largest donor.. In the United States of Faggotry all of us pay something called "taxes" and we use part of it to send humanitarian help to shithole places like bulgaria.Ingrat.

  • @nassah23 Thankfully there will always be stupid people like you to pay taxes for us.

  • @rimlanin Not at all..We are not stupid..We are americans = we are humans = we are superior than you subhuman bulgarians and believe that it is in human nature to help the needy....

  • @nassah23 and you are the reason why the rest of the world thinks Americans are nothing but ignorant arrogant peices of shit that are riding on the coat tail of the past glory that America once had 50 years ago. Do America a favor and jump off a really high cliff please.

  • @xynth101088 Can you please be more specific? The rest of the world o me is comprised of countries like Norway,Finland,Sweden,Netherla­nds,France,Switzerland,Belgium­,France,U.K Italy,and 'BABY AMERICA AKA JAPAN' etc,all the rich places where boys are not selling their asses for a loaf of bread...I am not arrogant at all,I just hatefreeloaders specialy poor hmophobic freeloaders. Why don't you do America a favor and move your mean ass to bulgaria,it's a worst punishment than jumping of a cliff.

  • @xynth101088 Why do you hate gay people??Why are you an homophobic prick??Why do you hate America??Why are you such an ingrat, mean spirited,evil fuck?Why are you advocating for all fags to get lethal injection? Why don't you move to bulgaria??Why are you so dumb that you are calling others "dumbs fuck" not realizing that yoiu are the dummy?Why are you advocating for the killing of all gay people?? What do you have against the faggots??

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  • @nassah23 Actually you are very stupid "humans", who like to give money to "subhumans" like us, because it makes you think you are actually something. You are a stereotypical dumb american. You know? Fat, dumb, has no idea of what the world looks like beyond Burger King and KFC.

  • @rimlanin.It's our duty to help the needy"and you bulgarians are the neediest of all..Cheap starving prostitutes.An old euro gay man can go to bulgaria and buy 12 young asses for one lev which is the equivalent of $0.65..Prostitution is legal in bulgaria and at the resorts,gay prostitutes openly tout for business..So please stop talking smack about gay people,just because a deal went bad with one of your johns,you don't have to hate all fags and want to kill them all...KFC and BK! HUMM FOOD

  • @nassah23 I see you have a lot of experience with gay prostitures. Are you one of them? Its because of people like you we were in the Axis during WW2.

  • @rimlanin I don't travel to shitty uncivilized,poor place like bulgaria the prostitution capital of eastern europe,so no I don't have any experience with bulgarian gay prostitutes,the lowest of the low..You poor uncivilized whores were in the Axis during WW2 because you wanted to take Southern Dobruja from RomaniaYou also wanted parts of the Aegean region and Vardar Macedonia.Why after the war the let you bitches keep Dobruja is mindboggling.

  • @nassah23 Lookee here, this is interesting. You stopped eating burgers to look at wikipedia. Hmm, keep this up and you might raise your IQ above 0.

  • @rimlanin Eating burgers?? What do you know about burgers? Do you ever see one in your life?// I don't think so,because you people are starving in bulgaria and selling your asses for scrumb..

  • @nassah23 Just because we aren't all as fat as you are dosen't mean were starving.

  • @rimlanin Yeah right!! You are from a country where donkey carts are primarily the means of transportation although most people used their feet. You people are starving bulgaria is a poor country and many,many,many, many people live under the poverty line resulting in all young men selling their asses for bread.

  • @nassah23 Is that how you live. Oh sorry, I didn't know.

  • @rimlanin The U.S. Government has provided foreign assistance to Bulgaria since 1990, with a total investment of more than $800 million, making it the largest donor...Come on bulgarian troll...

  • @nassah23 There will always be stupid people like you that give smart people like me money.

  • @nassah23 Faggots are disgusting people. Everybody hates them. America is full of people like you, very dumb, worthless people. People like you give USA a very bad name. One thing you do have, though is a lot of very good bridges. Good American work. Go jump off one and don't forget to record it and have a friend upload to youtube.

  • @rimlanin If faggots are disgusting = all bulgarian men are disgusting because becoming a gay prostitutes and selling your asses for money are the rites of passage in bulgaria..People like me give America a bad name??LMAO..It's fucking hilarious,coming from you a bulgarian..What the fuck do you know about bridges?You people got a crappy non existent infracstructure and plumbing system..Bulgarian are still taking shit behind bushes in the middle of their front yard..bathing in rivers and lakes.

  • @nassah23 Just because you are a faggot prostiture that shit behind bushes in the middle of their front yard and bathe in rivers next to your non-existant infrastructure of the cave you live in, does not mean everybody else is too.

  • @rimlanin I Come on bulgarian...Keep on trolling..

  • @nassah23 That didn't even make sense.

  • @rimlanin You are a bulgarian...nuff said!!

  • @nassah23 You're a moron, enough said. 

  • @rimlanin An american moron to you...,never forget that...= your superior..even our dogs are superior than you subhuman bulgarian beggers..Americans spend $41 billion a year on their dogs..more than the gross domestic product of bulgaria....

  • @nassah23 Try the other way around, pal.

  • @rimlanin Try what?? It's impossible..We are the most richest and most powerful nation on the face of the earth..and bulgaria is what?? An american dog is more important that a bulgarian ..We spend $41 BILLION, 41 BILLION,BILLION a YEAR...41 BILLION..Since 1990 ,we give you so far $ 800 MILLION...Compare $ 41 BILLIION a year we spend on our dogs to $800 MILLION in 20 years,20 years we spend on bulgaria....

  • @nassah23 Your one of the most arrogant nation, filled with idiotic morons such as yourself. You sould use those dogs for better purposes, for example killing you and defiling your corpse.

  • @rimlanin Our dogs don't eat human flesh and you don't eat dogs either..In bulgaria you starving fucks eat dogs and the starvings dogs eat you. ..Did you do the math??41 BILLION a YEAR on american dogs to $ 800 MILLION in 20 YEARS on starving bulgarians...

  • @nassah23 Wait, this is just a misunderstanding. Your dogs don't eat human flesh. They eat the flesh of the people like you, however since your are much less than human.

  • @rimlanin We americans spend $ 41 BILLION,41 BILLION a year on our dogs,so they don't eat human flesh..Our dogs are not bulgarians,they are american dogs = they are superior to bulgarians.Did you know that Conchita an american chihuahua just inherited a $3 million trust fund after her owner died.Enough to feed bulgaria for 20 years..I cannot be less than human..I AM AMERICAN,,I AM THE PROTOTYPE OF WHAT A HUMAN SHOULD BE...We americans are the Technological Titans,the Masters of the Universe.

  • @nassah23 You are inferior to a human, also a hypocrite. You first say how much you donate to bulgarians, now you say you spend more on your dogs, which contradicts what you said. You are american, the excrement of humanity, the technological thubm-up your butt, the masters of not having a brain.

  • @rimlanin Inferior?? Are you out of your starving uncivilized bulgarian mind??I am an AMERICAN = I cannot be anything but superior,it's the law of nature..Yes we spend $ 800 millions on bulgarians,yes we are your largest donor and your savior..but ,I say,but an AMERICAN dog is after all AMERICAN = our dogs are americans and as such they are superior to you bulgarians-and that's the reason why we spend way way more dough on them.You don't expect an AMERICAN dogs to live like bulgarians,do you?

  • @nassah23 Trolling tip #101: Don't get overly obvious.

  • @rimlanin whatevers clever bulgarian..

  • @nassah23 Yes, I am clever.

  • @rimlanin say what!!

  • @nassah23 Thats what she said.

  • @rimlanin is she a poor starving bulgarian too?

  • @nassah23 Where were you raised to talk about your mother like that?!

  • @rimlanin my mother ,a bulgarian??Imagine that..I kill myself..Being from a country where the monthly average salary is €250 per month....Where every fifth family lives below the lower limit of poverty: meaning €95 a month per person..Heck no..

  • @nassah23 Your mother is from bulgaria? Whats the adress?

  • @rimlanin address?? do you people know about address?? bulgaria is an unorganized chaos, no infrastructure, no utilities,no plumbing system....What are you talking about??adress?,you wish...

  • @rimlanin Bulgarians are growing poorer and are reducing their consumption..Although in previous years Bulgarians spent most on food, in 2010 the amount they are spending has decreased. They are buying fewer products or cheaper items of lower quality. Spending on clothes, shoes, household renovation, maintenance and transport is also falling. At the same time, the amount spent on cigarettes,drugs, alcohol and dealing with health problems has increased slightly.What a stinking hell hole!

  • @nassah23 You are very rude to talk about your mother like that. Stop or she might give you a good spanking.

  • @nassah23 It's people like you that make me disgusted to call myself an American.

  • @Shikamaruforeva44 go find a big cone and sit down on it..you disgusting piece of shit..