Asari take what she deserves

[Reimm2011]

Told like the knights of the told republic. i love Shepard.

[z3r010101]

Owned cranked up to level 11

[TGGeko]

Ah yes "our protection"

[Nearlynotguy]

I started with the PS3. It killed the council.

[FALUKYOURMOM]

@Nearlynotguy you could choose if they live or not

[b3rgTroll]

Shepard: "...and you'd all be Reaper chow now."

Kalara: "Ah yes, 'Reapers'..."

[LoLo9876420]

that bitch touch me id snap her fingers back and say screw u lesbian (no offense to lesbians)

[Cavalierman1000]

he has my armor style... wow

[Axeleren]

when you need a problem calibrated, ask garrus :)

[ARavingLooony]

when u need a problem fucked to death ask an Ardat Yakshi

[cloudgirl150]

"If you need a problem talked to death, ask an asari..."

Nope, ask Mordin.

[Theonegamefreak]

It's sad because there are people like this in real life.

[BSMixi]

"Enjoy your god damned drinks, bitches!"

[MASSEFFECTfan101]

Talk about ownage. O_O

[ARavingLooony]

Jack"youre begging for a dirt"?

[OZORxORON]

Rule #1: Don't talk shit when Jack's around.

[MultiWolverine92]

" enjoy your drinks ..ladies"

x"DD

[BARBAQUEBOB1]

i be better if you or jack could kill her

[cloudgirl150]

I wanted to see Jack bitch slap that hoe...

[theQuestion626]

@1:02= Shepard's most epic tell-off in the entire game!

[vampire82630]

What game is that

[mujuma]

@vampire82630 ...really? it's Mass Effect 2, greatest game ever.

[mrfatmancory]

when you need a problem shot, ask a Turian.

When you need a problem talked to death, ask an Asari.

When you need a new problem, ask a Salarian.

Good to see racism is still funny 150 years in the future.

[deathwing316]

@mrfatmancory roger in american dad always say if its not racist its not funny! :P

[Optimusj1975]

@deathwing316 Roger also used Venus from Bananarama as a National Anthem. So...

[ZombieMonkey7]

Bitches got told

[Kannebas]

Kalara: "Ah, a human. Your kind is always shoving your way in to solve the galaxy's problems, aren't you?"

Shepard: "Time out - Red challenge flag has been thrown onto the field. Lady, I'm armored from head to toe. What makes you think I'm human?"

Kalara: "..."

Shepard: *draws "ಠ_ಠ" on Death Mask*

Kalara: "I, uh..."

Shepard: "YOU ASARI ARE ALL RACIST!"

[Enlishgal]

reeper chow

[seras117]

what does garrus say if you have him with you?

[xXDanShepardXx]

the council pretty much soaks all the complaining

[GamerfreakB7]

Enjoy your drinks, ladies.

[TheBIOPRINCE]

That's why I let the council alive....

Lets idiots bitching around....

[colebowlin68]

Sounds like a bunch of high class rich bitches who think everyone but them is worthless. Even then they probably treat other asari who have less money like shit too. Hope the bitches die in the Reapers arrival in ME3.

[kunven]

asari AKA bitches that think they are great because they first discovered the citadel and they can live 1000 years

[Nekhet]

@kunven Well, their commandos are some of the best soldiers in the galaxy (even Turians agree with that) and their ability to flay you alive... with their mind is not something I would want to delve into further:S

[kunven]

@Nekhet they couldnt flay commander sheperd a huma lol

[Nekhet]

@kunven No, cause that would be rather annoying if they could. But hey not even hundreds upon hundreds of adverseries could stop Shepard. That´s videogame logic for ya:)

[bolden0000]

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN dat bitch got pwned and owned!!!!

[TheChuchulainn]

Ah yes "for our protection". The alleged function of every police force throughout history. We have dismissed that claim.

[ElmortoSen]

when you want your problem horribly dismangled, ask a krogan.

[SickBritKid]

@ElmortoSen

When you want your problem to commit suicide, ask a hanar.

[Arachnaphillic]

go shepard go shepard go!!!

[MetalKvicken]

0:58  Shepard: aaow....my arm :(

[TheROFELMAO]

She got PWNT... ROFLMAO XD

[psykokimera]

Aaaaand that's why you save the council.

[dwahuntur]

@psykokimera oh yeah reapers, we have dismissed that claim mean anything to you

[jackofblades94]

...LIKE A BOSS!

[Krystalis4ever]

If I was there in the background all u would here is.... Ooooooohhhh SHUTDOWN BITCH!!!!

[TheGauld007]

LOL

[ghoohg551]

AIR QUOTES!!!

[baryon15]

The title sounds suspiciously like a porno... O_o

[FinalNinja447]

Shepard anhialates. Again.

[sgtNACHO]

hehehehe Reaper Chow

[SinDawg030]

This is why I go for the paragon solution to ME1. 10 times less fucking nagging . . .

[LordFrostwind]

@SinDawg030 People may nag, but it was still worth it to kill councilor air quotes. The only reason I let him live once was to see him crap his pants in ME3.

[SinDawg030]

@LordFrostwind I want to be able to say "ah yes, Reapers" to him in ME3, preferably during a Reaper invasion of the Citadel or Palaven

[Solidus1086]

@SinDawg030 I hope they will actually give you a chance to 'ah yes reapers' the guy taking into account that in ME3 once again humanity is more fucked than anyone else since all the reapers are camping on earth right now and shepard has to go out and ask everyone to come help.

[SinDawg030]

@Solidus1086 Bioware dun goofed big if they don't have that option in ME3

[TheFlyacount]

reaper chow. Good times!

[coysieeddie]

this epic speech right here,the SOLE reason to kill the Council

[SUpersaiyajinjerkbag]

It's like communicating with white women!

[Jokenx3]

YEAH!

[aryan826]

Hands down asari are better than humans asari rule

[GhostRider659]

@MrChaosAdam except maybe for the Krogan :D wrex is simply the coolest^^ shepard. wrex. shepard.

[yubarta1]

.... this actually made me think of how in the simpsons french people are all like "omg american you iz stupid" when in fact the americans saved their ass.... well, i guess that matt groening is really good at making jokes... either that or the french really hate USA.... who knows? *dundundun*

[lsq78]

@yubarta1 *DERP* *DERP* *DERPY*

[mrhenryleopard]

@yubarta1

To be fair though, if it wasn't for the French, America would still be under British rule.

Just so you know, just so you know...

[SinDawg030]

@mrhenryleopard actually we were finding it pretty hard economically and financially to maintain the Colonies in America and Militarily the supply lines were too stretched in order to effectively counter the Revolutionaries. We would have lost anyway so we just let go of America and became trade partners. Same economic benefit without the cost of maintaining a Colonial presence!

[XxReaperZeroxX]

Tomi: "You're kind is always shoving it's way in to solve the galaxy's problems, aren't you?"

Shepard: ಠ_ಠ

Tomi: "Uhh... That was a joke"

Shepard: ಠ_ಠ

[ffinfinity1]

"you owe us, bitch" lol

[MrChaosAdam]

Jack is the best :D

And humans rule. Other races are just kindof useless.

[donte465]

can you say sorry later or they wont talk anymore

[spartandud3]

I said good day!

[ginnoveffect]

You asari are all racist!

[gamerdude1246]

Reaper chow?

Reapers go : omnomnonmnonmnonmnomnomnonmnom­n

[Whippenberg]

this asari owns shepard, then he owns her, then she owns him again, perfect ownage!

[Johnlanzer]

well I saved the Council because I wanted to shove the "appearance of the reapers" to their faces. So pretty much that. Though I didn't see this one but damn, she's ungrateful!

[uTonceig]

well, shepars is to awesome to get talked to death, hm?

[ElectromagNick]

If I was there when this happened, I would say this:

Your council gave different species different roles in society and now, we're making the roles we want and/or deserve. So take that, biatch! We shoulda left you to be Reaper-show because YOUR COUNCIL didn't listen to us, and because of that, we lost a few thousand good men and women, you ungratful-mother-fucking-bitch­!

[HigHGuyism]

damn it i've saved the council >.<

[mrcodypettit]

REAPER CHHOW MOTHER FUCKER!

[020stevenleu]

What's the Paragon dialogue for "Give me a chance"?

[ShadowVampireFTW]

@020stevenleu she asks you to talk to this office lady at the entrance of the Citadel, because for some dumbass reason those 2 Asari are accused of being "Geth infiltrators"

[lerokz]

That Bitch pulled out the Air Qoutes, she needs to be shot.

[Cartortus]

DAMN TAKE IT DEEP BITCH

[FuckinBowDown1]

What a bitch.

[benigntumor]

This exchange is the BEST reason to kill the Council in ME1!

[kohoko]

Ok and did the Asari made something in all that "chaos"? No, they are too occupied dancing in the bars of the galaxy.

[airyLAXbaby95]

man shes such a bitch

[Hovemond]

You're welcome. Enjoy your drinks, ladies.

[SoulfulBrutha5805]

"You owe us, bitch!" lulz

Man I love this game.

[hutchy1k94]

Enjoy your drinks ladies. *Middle finger* >=P

[mansoor619]

@hutchy1k94 hahah

[freedomphamtom]

if you want a problem talked to death,ask an asari...

xD lol,a race of females,what did you espect from them

[Optimusj1975]

@freedomphamtom A race of females? I expect a planet of Sammiches.

[Kannebas]

@Optimusj1975 - Rumour has it that Thessia is literally just kitchens.

[Kraele]

@Optimusj1975 A planet of Sammiches, but no men around to eat them. Guess the women will have to eat the sammiches themselves.

[ecpeter]

@Optimusj1975 LMFAO man good one.

[knives4cash]

@Optimusj1975 You'll get a sandwich of constant bitching.

[MultiRaistlin]

@freedomphamtom Asari arent female theyre mono gendered....

[freedomphamtom]

@MultiRaistlin they look pretty female to me though :D

[CameliaMaeve]

@freedomphamtom "I am not female Lieutenant, my species only has one gender." "Well you look like a- ugh!"

[somethingawful100]

@MultiRaistlin Yes and that means they only have one gender: Female.

[MultiRaistlin]

@somethingawful100 the word 'female' has no meaning to a mono gendered species they simply are like.... i dunno smurfs?

[somethingawful100]

@MultiRaistlin Well since asari have mammary glands, or atleast something that looks like them and a striking resemblence to human females, and they give birth I would still say that asari are female, even if it's to just simplify things :P

[malganus4]

@MultiRaistlin it has meaning,cause male from other spicies can fuck them with their dicks,unless they are fucking in assholes and give birth from them it seems they are female.

[MultiRaistlin]

@malganus4 Read the codex. They are mono-gendered. End of story.

[Arris3]

@MultiRaistlin in the Codex it is stated that the asari are an all-female race. The Galactic Codex: Essentials Edition 2183 says that "while asari have only one gender, they are not asexual like single-celled life—all asari are sexually female"

[Arris3]

@MultiRaistlin Deal with it.

[Skull11137]

@freedomphamtom

Wait, if they are a race of females how do they reproduce?

[imaloony8]

@Skull11137 They mind-fuck.

No, seriously. They can mind-fuck with any race (including other Asari) and produce an asari offspring, taking some traits from the other race. Most Asari don't mate with other Asari for this reason, because it doesn't improve the race at all.

[Optimusj1975]

@imaloony8 Sergio Roma is the MASTER!!!!

[LightStreak567]

@Skull11137 They're monogendered, they aren't really female, they just look like they are.

[malganus4]

@LightStreak567 they are really female,monogender means they are all female,if they weren't female - they didn't need mating and reproduce alone when puberty comes.

[dman0331gmodgames]

U think she likes bad boys....

[Arzaker]

1 The real council were fags

2 They were willing to turn a blind eye and let you all die

3 HE WAS THE ONE THAT SAVED FUCKING CITADEL IN THE FIRST

YOU WOULDNT BE SITTING THERE BADMOUTHING THE HUMAN RACE IF IT WERNT FOR HIM

i would be a bit more grateful

cause the next time a great alien ship descends upon you to bring real chaos

you may just be unlucky few whos corpses he finds

[chowman29]

RENEGADE INTERRUPT, PLEASEEEE!!! =P

[TheCaveproductions]

I'm Commander Shepard, and I lay down the LAW.

[GoldenHurricane]

Ah yes, Reaper chow...

[watchinginaz]

I don't play as a renegade very much but when I do this is one of my favorite renegade moments

[Chingophia]

POW!!!!

[SinerAthin]

''When you want a problem fixed, ask a human.

''Ohh? So you mean like how you 'fixed' the Council?!''

''Dare I say, the Council WAS the problem?''

[SquadTrooper]

AWWW SNAP

[Elitepear]

Shepard knows what the bitches like...

[ResidentJeff]

Your arrogance offends me!

[EnvyMizuhashi]

Commander Shepard: Keepin it real since 2010.

[k2brain]

damn

[DemonicMonkey666]

I never help them because me and the shepard that I created dont take crap

[ConsurgoTitanus]

I'll still fuck 'em

[AKSsasori]

Shepard just cuzzed dat ho out

[elitesoldier209]

Heh get owned blue bitches lol

[medivalme]

Jack, a true bro, despite that she's female.

[WillisDCade]

LOL jack always got ur back

[yurihammo]

I WANT ME3. Period. I can wait 3 years as long as its good as me1 and me 2!!!

[FrigidAxe]

What happens if you saved the council and talk to them?

[chaklong]

@FrigidAxe

Normal conversation

[jjilatt123]

Is she nicer to you if you save the council in ME1?

[MarioHc4L]

@jjilatt123

Sadly, she is still a bitch. I believe it was something along the lines of you bought your way into the council when the Geth attacked

[Daverdare]

shepard acts like a real american

"We saved ur asses hurr durr"

[manwiththemachinegun]

@Daverdare

Yeah, if it's true. :P

[TheLackofattack]

Enjoy your drinks, youtube!

[Argonisgema]

What got me laughing is that asari did the ah yes reapers gesture.

[MrProdigalKnight]

I thought this quest was stupid because it's way beneath Shepard to help out some random lady with her papers

[KuunLan87]

*Shepard is about to walk away...*

Shepard: "Oh, one more thing..."

Asari: "What?!"

*Shepard throws his arms in the air*

S: PWWWWWWWNNND!

[heavyeffect123]

If you have a itch problem as a Varren

[gimee50k]

i wish you had an option to blow them away with a shotgun.

[AbokaseeTheTroll]

1:02 "SIT. THE. FUCK. DOWN."

[sargentwylie]

C-C-C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!!!

[evilsmallkid]

When you need a problem shot, ask a turian. When you want a problem talked to death, ask an asari. When you need a new problem, ask a salarian. Lol!!!

[Arzaker]

SHEPARD FOR PRESIDENT

ENJOY YOUR POISON LADYS

[JediKnightIlona]

The Asari that Shepard is arguing with is named Kalara Tomi . both she and Jack Subject Zero were voiced by the same actress Courtenay Taylor.

[Optimusj1975]

@JediKnightIlona So, if Jack fulfilled her proposal to beat the Asari... Ohhh.. that would have been interesting...

[JediKnightIlona]

@Optimusj1975 No kidding...:)

[TolHydra]

Thats exact what i did..! (BITCH! )

[TheEvrey]

Your welcome......BITCH!

[Dlayer7]

ah yes... "protection" we dissmised that claim.

[Meescool2]

Enjoying those fucking drinks.

[BeniXBass]

shepard is fucking awesome. he served them so hard.

[Winterwolf00]

I swear I've heard this before. *If it weren't for us you'd all be speaking German right now.* Or *If it weren't for us you'd all be speaking Mandalorian right now*

Thats used alot.

[Ozymandias916]

@Winterwolf00 Because it's true :)

[theQuestion626]

Bout time somebody put the friggin' asari in their place. the sluts of the galaxy if you ask me...

[Pokerit]

Enjoy your drinks ladies :D

[lerokz]

0:50

Oh shit she gave Shep Air qoutes? oh no she needs to be shot right now.

AIR QOUTES OFFEND ME. personal thanks to that idiot Turian Councilor

[darthopal]

Oh shit, bitch got pwned, lol

[Sursion7]

Jack wanted to rip her to shreds.

[darthopal]

@Sursion7 i woulda let her. talking shit about us humans when a human saved them all

[Sniknejyoreel]

@Sursion7 True, though in fairness, Jack wants to rip everything and everyone to shreds.

[SuperMadHero]

@Sursion7 but jack voice acted her! :S

[lollerfisk]

I like this vid because 1.) it incorporates decisions that you made in ME1 and 2.) AIR QUOTES.

[slipperywhenwet5]

OH SNAP

[xXDeathGuyXx]

@KingGuilty Most Internet arguments entertain me. Bravo. I actually chuckled at makotomikami's comment, because it's just so blatantly stupid it's funny.

[makotomikami]

@xXDeathGuyXx Yeh, that's the spirit! xD the internet is full of bullshit, might as well laugh about it, funny-side up ;)

[DantehMan]

@makotomikami They're laughing at you, not with you, just so you know.