Willow Marsden - Blog 43 - Cooking and Relationships

[topgun101tom]

What is the camera you have by the way? Is it a Canon or Nikon or something like that?

[WillowMarsden]

@topgun101tom The camera I use for photography is a Canon Kiss (Japanese version of the 550D), and the one I use for my videos and days out (like theme parks or gigs) is a Samsung PL170.

[kevinisginger]

@WillowMarsden I'm sure you've mentioned it but how long did it take you to meet Chris? Also, did you say there are other aspergers forums you know of? Thanks!

[WillowMarsden]

@kevinisginger Well we met when we were 13 and were friends until we were 17, when we started dating. But we fell out a lot between 13 and 17, and only met in person a few times. But when Chris learnt to drive, he came round every day to see me :)

[WillowMarsden]

@kevinisginger In terms of other Asperger's forums, I don't use them anymore myself, as I've not found a friendly one. But Wrong Planet is the biggest I know of, then there's smaller ones - Psych Forums, ASD-Forum, Aspergernauts..etc

[WillowMarsden]

@ColombianaXO7 Hmm, most of my family seem to be a little bit Aspergers to be honest, or they're just a little strange. I don't function very well around non Aspie's, but if you're used to it than that's good for you. :)

[kevinisginger]

I'm 18, and an aspie. I gotta say, my troubles with friendships and whatnot never seem to go away. I always try to be a nice person but I always seem to push people away without really realizing it. Its the worst. Does this get better with time? I know I'm not the only persom struggling with this.. also, I would love it if you could start another forum again!

[WillowMarsden]

@kevinisginger I don't really have any friends right now, just one of Chris' friends really. I don't seem to aggravate him though. I think it does get better with time though. I definitely feel a little more comfortable around people than I used to, mainly because I am happy with who I am now. Starting another forum is something I might consider at some point. :)

[topgun101tom]

Helping people with aspergers would be something good for you to do, you are very intersting and people I think would listen to you. The idea of graphic design and photography sounds exellent. But working with aspergers people might be definately something you could do somewhere. Can the local colleges advice you and give you some courses etc to look at?

[WillowMarsden]

@topgun101tom I really don't want to be going back into education again, I know that I can't do it and have dropped out too many times before to want to try again and waste everyone's time. I'm happy doing things from home, even if it's just these videos. Luckily, we can survive on just Chris' wage, so it's okay.

[lexxintegra]

Thanks for sharing... I agree that like minded spirit is most compatible.

I feel I'm too different from most others, so I don't even bother thinking of an intimate relationship anymore... I used to when I was in my mid-later teens, then something was realized in my consciousness and I stopped seeking. Basically renounced the thought. (not a sad thing for me)

-Blessings with Cheers =oD

[jeffrielly]

@WillowMarsden oh, ahhh..... the video on where to meet other aspies on-line 

[jeffrielly]

@jeffrielly I proboly would need some kind of outlet though, I mean it's not like the aspie wemon are all around since the current male to female ratio is 3:1, but do to some research from tony attwod there is a theory that it might be more like 2:1 but that is just a theory.

[jeffrielly]

@WillowMarsden hurry up and make it the will ya :P jk

[WillowMarsden]

@jeffrielly Make what?

[twirlingchair]

well that's sweet.

[jeffrielly]

@InvisableAspie the funy thing is I'v alwase felt myself somewhat drawn to girls who are of the crazy/eccentric type that dose'nt nessicarily mean that they were aspies but it is a common trait

[InvisibleAspie]

@jeffrielly Same here. That makes total sense to me.

[InvisibleAspie]

I'm really glad you and Chris found each other and are so happy together. Is it easy for you to share your feelings with each other? As I'm sure you know, this is often hard for Aspies. It seems to me we just have a different way of doing it; so it might be easier and work better in an AS/AS couple. I wish you guys lots of happiness.

[WillowMarsden]

@InvisibleAspie We are very much in tune with each other, so sharing our feelings comes very naturally and if anything, we usually feel the same way about things, which is nice. We have sort of developed our own way of communicating and it's sometimes hard to snap out of it around other people - ie, we have certain words that mean something to us, but that are completely random to other people. I guess it's just how we cope.

[WillowMarsden]

@WillowMarsden And we both have very childish sides, that come out when we are most happy.

[InvisibleAspie]

@WillowMarsden You sound perfect for each other! :)

[InvisibleAspie]

Thanks for answering my question about your relationship with Chris! :-D

[alanx999]

A graphic designer friend makes a decent amount of money selling her images of everyday objects online. There seems to be a healthy market out there for this sort of thing. Most of her images are taken using a table-top light box I made for her, though she did have to buy a couple of extra flash units. It seems people want images of what would seem to be the most boring and everyday objects. I suppose they don't want the hassle of doing their own images for web-sites and such.

[jeffrielly]

I myself have given thought to the idea of going out with a girl who also has aspergers, but I don't know whare to look in order to find one. :( I guess I could alwase start by asking friends of mine who have learned of the condition through me and ask them how many people do they know that it sounds like who's personality types that the description fits

[InvisibleAspie]

@jeffrielly I'm in a relationship with another Aspie and it is much easier/more satisfying, IMO. As far as finding an Aspie girl, I suggest just being really honest with yourself about what you want/need in a relationship and the person you will be attracted to will most likely be similar to you, if not an outright Aspie.

@FatherToaSon mentioned having mentioned feeling a connection with Aspie girls. This has been my experience. I'm just naturally drawn to them.

[WillowMarsden]

@jeffrielly Basically, I met Chris online, and it's a nice way to get to know each other without the awkwardness, so maybe you could try speaking with women on Asperger forums? As I mentioned in another comment on one of my videos, I am thinking of doing a vlog on good places to 'meet' people online if you have Aspergers.

[speyeker]

An aspie engaged to another aspie? I've heard a tale of a couple with Asperger Syndrome that had a kid who was full-blown autistic. That's because there's definitely a genetic component to this. Now this is a tricky situation--if I was in your shoes, I would adopt, because if I felt I had the power to decide whether my offspring would be autistic or not, I would choose not...but then it could be argued that being autistic isn't inherently a problem. Note I myself would not date another aspie.

[InvisibleAspie]

@speyeker This is a touchy situation, and I don't really think it's fair to tell people they shouldn't have kids because the kids might turn out like them. I know a couple (who I believe are both undiagnosed Aspies) who adopted and their son is definitely on the spectrum.

[WillowMarsden]

@speyeker We want children. And if anything, it would be a good thing for them to be on the spectrum. We can't imagine how it would be to raise a 'normal' child! They would probably end up acting like they were on the spectrum. I think it's very harsh to say you would adopt if you were in my shoes. I love children with special needs, my brother included, obviously, and it would does bother me in the slightest knowing that our child will probably have Aspergers or Autism.

[FatherToaSon]

I am happy to hear you work out so well with eachother. And you seem so happy. And its cute how you two just know eachother on a level I think few people do ever.

I have been having a few relationships. And I just know when I am with an aspie girl. Diagnosed or not. There just some amazing connection.

Its facinating in a way how that works.

Again. Really happy to see you are happy together and its works out so good.

[Genin99]

Have you and Chris heard of the film "Mozart and the Whale"?

[WillowMarsden]

@Genin99 I have but we haven't seen it

[Genin99]

@WillowMarsden it's a love story about a guy and a girl with Aspergers. Even though parts of the film is hard to watch the reason why I like Mozart and the Whale is that the main characters are relate-able, it made me feel more comfortable as someone with Aspergers and the film helped me become more optimistic on the subject of finding love.

[Genin99]

Try getting a cookbook with pictures of the food I recommend Jamie Oliver's Ministry of Food and as someone with Aspergers I can tell you that clear instructions would help you do anything you have trouble with. Another way to improve you cooking skills is watch a cooking show on television and try something easy like cookies.

[WillowMarsden]

@Genin99 It's more that I am unsafe due to my coordination problems, as I also have Dyspraxia - I should have mentioned.

[Genin99]

@WillowMarsden You're right Dyspraxia does make things harder and dangerous. I thought you were like me with just a trouble processing information. Jamie Oliver recommends baking as a way to practice and to get use to cooking, It's just putting ingredients into a bowl, mixing them and putting it in the oven. I'm just trying to suggest a way for you to get more comfortable in the kitchen because I personally find a difficult task that requires coordination easier when I'm relaxed.

[WillowMarsden]

@Genin99 Thanks, I do like making food, but now I don't live with my Mum, she can't help out with my cooking. I am actually thinking of making yorkshire puddings sometime this week, so maybe I'll do a video then :)

[Genin99]

@WillowMarsden thats basically what I'm saying stick to whats easy till you get more comfortable making food. The best thing about baking is the worst thing that would happen his you spill or drop something nothing dangerous. If you can bake without dropping or spilling anything then you can move on to other recipes. No one is expecting you to become the next Gordon Ramsey over night but he's someone with ADHD and I bet he had coordination problems before he developed his cooking skills.

[jeffrielly]

@Genin99 Gordan Ramsy kicks ass even if he can be a bit of a prick at times

[jeffrielly]

@Genin99 btw if you want to see what i mean by Grodan Ramsey being a prick watch some the shows that he's on here in the states like hell's kitchen

[Genin99]

@jeffrielly I watch Hells kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares already and I know that he only gets like that because he has ADHD and the US producers chose very incompetent and annoying people to make him angry.