Also, I wouldn't take lack of views, subs or comments personally. That's a really destructive way of thinking about it. There could be a million different reasons to why people aren't commenting, like time constraints or laziness. Sure, some of the people may be looking for something else than you're providing, having different priorities, but if they do it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. And 30-40 people is a lot, just imagine a dialogue of this scale occurring in real life :)
Really heartfelt video, and valid points being brought up. I can only speak for myself, but I feel that the community is a little too big, perhaps, for it to be possible to reach out to everybody. It's easier to subscribe to a few guys, because you get to know these people through their videos, than to watch a few vids by many different guys. Perhaps I'm just being lazy. But I comment almost every video that I watch. Thank you for explaining what's important to you, it usually goes a long way!
your comment around 8:20 about being good enough or attractive enough, that hit home ... so much. Not just on YT, but in life.
I think I am pretty cool, caring, engaging, fun, intelligent ... and I don't seem to get the time from people because of my looks. Thanks again for making this. We can't create change without stirring the pot.
@LemonEHenry yyeah the squeaky wheel sure has gotten the grease, so many people have touched on these topics in their videos recently, and have came up with ideas to deal with it. I do feel like this in life too, more-so even... youtube just became a microcosmic example of a bigger problem for a lot of us. it seems the more people there are the more appearances matter, and there's so many potential causes for that, and they all hurt.
I think you have highlighted that boundaries are all over the place with internet-based 'relationships'. These relationships (whilst real) can have the best and the worst of real life all mixed up in such a short piece of intense time. We expose ourselves and make ourselves vulnerable with heart felt sentiments and deep honesty. We invest large amounts of time. But if we value this, it seems worth it... until we feel hurt. It's and odd world and not all feel comfortable to stay here ;0)
@dylanwikifoo you bring up a good point, and i have definitely been reassessing my expectations and what i feel my own responsibilities are as well. i want to be there for people, and i want people to be there for me, but i can't expect anything from anyone that i can't deliver myself. thanks for the comment. =)
dude... this video was GREAT! i really really really appreciate that you made this video. it made me think more about my presence on youtube and the way i relate to that. you were very articulate and your honestly touched me. if you ever want to reach out dont hesitate... i always respond to emails. i think your vids are great and yeah i should comment more. big love man
I just found you on here and I will be watching and listening. I hear you and your pain. I feel the same way a lot of the time. I too am looking for those connections. I had a few vids up and took them down and I don't post vids because I feel uncomfortable on camera, but know that I am here and i am listening and each FtM on here that I watch is important to me and I hear them. Maybe I will get the balls to start posting vids again. My words are powerful and so are yours.
@LookingforHenry918 hey pascal, you're in central arkansas, huh? that's not far from me in central missouri (in the big picture at least hehe) thanks for the encouragement, and i hope that you feel like you can share any videos you feel like making without being judged.
I too comment on videos and many times don't get a response. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE getting responses to my comments, don't get me wrong. But when I don't get a response, I try not to take it personally. The way I take it is that the one whose video I'm commenting on has a lot of comments from people, and too little time to respond to all of them.
@phoenixjazzmine yeah i'm realizing it does take some time to respond to them all hehe i need to try and take it less personally... i don't get upset all the time i think it just kind got to me worse yesterday
@youcancallmethedude I'm glad you brought it up though. Sometimes when I don't get a response, I admit, I wonder if I said something wrong. But then I try to understand the one making the video.
Hate to say this...but the reality is...this is life. People will come and go in our lives whether its real life or internet life.
Anyone who's willing to reach out to others is top notch. It's very hard to sit in front of a camera and pour your soul out. I respect what you do and I have absolutely no guts to be behind the camera.
Don't let the people you feel agnst for pull you down. They are not worth your energy.
@shanesdomain you're right, this is how it goes. i'm 26 but still adjusting to the harsh realities i suppose. though no individual actually did anything to me... i take things so personally sometimes...
I am subbed to you and watch your video I apologize for not commenting I try to think of what to say for peoples videos but I am scared it will sound wrong or something. I feel you about people not commenting back and stuff. and with responding to people comments are rough for me to respond to from my videos and my YT wall because I never get told about it from them and have to rummage through stuff so its rough thats why I always mention in my videos that I am not ignoring you that I will get
@ShaiBoiFTM yeah i did just notice that only like two of these comments ever went to my inbox. hmmm. good to know, this likely happens to others too, and i can imagine if you get tons of comments it'd be hard to keep up. i'll check out your channel today.
hey, i found you video through dweebiedo's response. i'm subbed to him and now im subbed to you. its about getting whats off your chest and making your voice heard that gets through to people. i'm glad i found you :) dont give up, i'm looking forward to your future videos
@hatefulcourtney413 yeah apparently saying what i really feel is what i should keep doing, thanks for the sub, in a min. i'll check to see if you post vids and sub. =)
I hear you man. My thoughts are that just as not everybody is ready to get support, not everybody is able to give support. Hang in there, sorry you've been feeling this way. I don;t think it has anything to do with your coolness or passing.
Hey :) In response to this video - Yes, you do matter. You are good enough. I'm glad I found your channel. I don't always have time to respond to comments and videos immediately - but I do try to respond as soon as I can. People have different ideas of what the youtube community means. I think the frustrations you express are shared by many. Internet social networks are a strange and evolving space. Hope you feel better soon.
@deaddogx thank you, your comment as well as others makes me think we need to make some videos about what community means, and how we can create relationships in the cyberage. i really do think human interaction is forever changed at this point... i have felt so much better since i just spoke up and said what apparently so many people feel... sent a little bit of my soul into the cosmos lol
@youcancallmethedude ...I'm so pleased that you spoke out and sent this little piece of your soul into the cosmos :) I think you're right; those of us that feel strongly about this being a community space could do well to make more videos about this subject. I have made videos about community but not specifically about this aspect of our internet community. I have seen a few videos from other youtubers who have felt similarly upset by a perceived lack of reciprocity. Best wishes to you.
i always read & respond to my messages even the really big, long ones. your efforts to reach out to ME felt good, forget the others. think of it as the ones who respond are the most important connections to maintain in your life. I think it's definitely a destructive thought pattern to believe it was Something about You that made you "un-watchable" or whatever. i feel so dorky most of the time I cant understand why people would like to watch ME but that's irrelevant. i accept you fully & like U!
@BonesDGAF021 thanks jakob, i actually thought of you specifically when i was thinking about how i need to really focus on those people who do respond and interact. so you hit the nail on the head with this comment here. it's the same struggle i've had for years... we have limited amounts of energy, and the best thing to do is to give that energy to people who spend theirs on you. i accept you fully and like u as well
There's nothing about you isn't good enough. You are expressing stuff that is totally natural. Sometimes I try to look at this whole youtube thing as a little bit discourse, a little bit a diary, and hopefully something that I am really trying to commit to staying with....at different levels. I really, really don't want to leave. Thanks for this really honest, emotive video. really awesome.
@freshlycharles thanks charles, i'm trying not to be embarassed by the near crying and the mannerism of about 4:45 hehe. i really want to explore the way human interactions have changed with technology. it's a big topic though!
BTW, I go by Bear, Im Pre everything, I just happen to have my dads chest and my moms sideburns, nice to meet your sire. Im sorry, I dont have a channel other than my old comedy channel with my birth name. laaaaaaaame
Cont: Now I get SO many comments and messages from people, that it's very hard to keep up. I try my hardest to respond to all of them, but i don't always have time. It also feels less personal now.
Anyway, i'll be subscribing to you. I hope you feel better!
@0HeyJude0 thanks man, and yeah i can see how it would get less personal as more people watch. i've sifted through a thousand comments on some people's videos and so many of the comments are hate that i suppose i shouldn't feel too jealous of that hehe. take it easy
Hey man, i just found your channel through Dweeb's video. I'm sorry you're feeling so left out. I think you're right in that some people don't appreciate the support offered by the community. You seem very well-spoken.
As i got more subscribers, my channel has begun to feel less and less personal. It used to feel like an intimate conversation with the same people over and over. I would recognize all the names, and we would comment and respond to each other's videos.
yup. weird how people you have never met or communicated with can make you feel that way huh? Hope you know that your videos are appreciated and so are you as a human. Take care dude.
@lorenatorres yeah... and the fact that it does make me think maybe i am a bit insecure... it's really a bigger issue for me than just youtube... ishould do another vid i guess and elaborate so it doesn't seem so much like i'm just upset at a few people cause it's bigger than that. dude is that really your phone number on your channel?! lol
@youcancallmethedude yeah man it was but then the crazies started to call me "/ that is also my weenie, her name is "little dog" but I get what you are saying. its hard not to be insecure when youre going through something that leaves you feeling so vulnerable. You look and sound great (no homo) youre just human and we all have feelings, sometimes we just forget to consider others. I dont. but others do :p
i hear you. one of the reasons i left. lots of subscribers but not many views or comments. why continue? maybe send this video to all the people whose videos you watch regularly and say hey, it's me, want you to check out my channel. maybe you'll be the kind of guy and story that some people are looking for. i felt weird listening to this as i know i was being discussed somewhat. it's complicated for me. you're an awesome guy and are good enough for anyone and anything. don't stop believin that.
@Zedie36 haha well i blame my book that i'm trying to read... which is why i'm so distracted by the internet hehe. i'm actually reading a book about how mobilization of NGO's related to HIV/AIDS in Africa were instrumental in the development of democracy. interesting but... i prefer to read about socialism hehe
Also, I wouldn't take lack of views, subs or comments personally. That's a really destructive way of thinking about it. There could be a million different reasons to why people aren't commenting, like time constraints or laziness. Sure, some of the people may be looking for something else than you're providing, having different priorities, but if they do it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. And 30-40 people is a lot, just imagine a dialogue of this scale occurring in real life :)
jaenadar 1 year ago
Really heartfelt video, and valid points being brought up. I can only speak for myself, but I feel that the community is a little too big, perhaps, for it to be possible to reach out to everybody. It's easier to subscribe to a few guys, because you get to know these people through their videos, than to watch a few vids by many different guys. Perhaps I'm just being lazy. But I comment almost every video that I watch. Thank you for explaining what's important to you, it usually goes a long way!
jaenadar 1 year ago
your comment around 8:20 about being good enough or attractive enough, that hit home ... so much. Not just on YT, but in life.
I think I am pretty cool, caring, engaging, fun, intelligent ... and I don't seem to get the time from people because of my looks. Thanks again for making this. We can't create change without stirring the pot.
LemonEHenry 1 year ago
@LemonEHenry yyeah the squeaky wheel sure has gotten the grease, so many people have touched on these topics in their videos recently, and have came up with ideas to deal with it. I do feel like this in life too, more-so even... youtube just became a microcosmic example of a bigger problem for a lot of us. it seems the more people there are the more appearances matter, and there's so many potential causes for that, and they all hurt.
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
eleqouent, thoughtful and hits home for a lot of us. thank you
LemonEHenry 1 year ago
I think you have highlighted that boundaries are all over the place with internet-based 'relationships'. These relationships (whilst real) can have the best and the worst of real life all mixed up in such a short piece of intense time. We expose ourselves and make ourselves vulnerable with heart felt sentiments and deep honesty. We invest large amounts of time. But if we value this, it seems worth it... until we feel hurt. It's and odd world and not all feel comfortable to stay here ;0)
dylanwikifoo 1 year ago
@dylanwikifoo you bring up a good point, and i have definitely been reassessing my expectations and what i feel my own responsibilities are as well. i want to be there for people, and i want people to be there for me, but i can't expect anything from anyone that i can't deliver myself. thanks for the comment. =)
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
dude... this video was GREAT! i really really really appreciate that you made this video. it made me think more about my presence on youtube and the way i relate to that. you were very articulate and your honestly touched me. if you ever want to reach out dont hesitate... i always respond to emails. i think your vids are great and yeah i should comment more. big love man
smithsmithboy 1 year ago
@smithsmithboy thank you, i've been watching your videos recently and enjoy them. big love back
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
Comment removed
smithsmithboy 1 year ago
I just found you on here and I will be watching and listening. I hear you and your pain. I feel the same way a lot of the time. I too am looking for those connections. I had a few vids up and took them down and I don't post vids because I feel uncomfortable on camera, but know that I am here and i am listening and each FtM on here that I watch is important to me and I hear them. Maybe I will get the balls to start posting vids again. My words are powerful and so are yours.
Pascal
LookingforHenry918 1 year ago
@LookingforHenry918 hey pascal, you're in central arkansas, huh? that's not far from me in central missouri (in the big picture at least hehe) thanks for the encouragement, and i hope that you feel like you can share any videos you feel like making without being judged.
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
I too comment on videos and many times don't get a response. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE getting responses to my comments, don't get me wrong. But when I don't get a response, I try not to take it personally. The way I take it is that the one whose video I'm commenting on has a lot of comments from people, and too little time to respond to all of them.
phoenixjazzmine 1 year ago
@phoenixjazzmine yeah i'm realizing it does take some time to respond to them all hehe i need to try and take it less personally... i don't get upset all the time i think it just kind got to me worse yesterday
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
@youcancallmethedude I'm glad you brought it up though. Sometimes when I don't get a response, I admit, I wonder if I said something wrong. But then I try to understand the one making the video.
phoenixjazzmine 1 year ago
Hate to say this...but the reality is...this is life. People will come and go in our lives whether its real life or internet life.
Anyone who's willing to reach out to others is top notch. It's very hard to sit in front of a camera and pour your soul out. I respect what you do and I have absolutely no guts to be behind the camera.
Don't let the people you feel agnst for pull you down. They are not worth your energy.
shanesdomain 1 year ago
@shanesdomain you're right, this is how it goes. i'm 26 but still adjusting to the harsh realities i suppose. though no individual actually did anything to me... i take things so personally sometimes...
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
I understand. I only have a few subs and dont really get alot of comments or responses. It can make you feel left out.
finallydiscoveringme 1 year ago
@finallydiscoveringme well i'll sub to you and try to give you some good responses.
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
I am subbed to you and watch your video I apologize for not commenting I try to think of what to say for peoples videos but I am scared it will sound wrong or something. I feel you about people not commenting back and stuff. and with responding to people comments are rough for me to respond to from my videos and my YT wall because I never get told about it from them and have to rummage through stuff so its rough thats why I always mention in my videos that I am not ignoring you that I will get
ShaiBoiFTM 1 year ago
@ShaiBoiFTM yeah i did just notice that only like two of these comments ever went to my inbox. hmmm. good to know, this likely happens to others too, and i can imagine if you get tons of comments it'd be hard to keep up. i'll check out your channel today.
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
hey, i found you video through dweebiedo's response. i'm subbed to him and now im subbed to you. its about getting whats off your chest and making your voice heard that gets through to people. i'm glad i found you :) dont give up, i'm looking forward to your future videos
hatefulcourtney413 1 year ago
@hatefulcourtney413 yeah apparently saying what i really feel is what i should keep doing, thanks for the sub, in a min. i'll check to see if you post vids and sub. =)
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
Dude I feel your pain! I"ve felf sorta dropped by some folks & maybe thats my being too sensitive lol but yeah, i know where you're coming from.
c
transboychris 1 year ago
I hear you man. My thoughts are that just as not everybody is ready to get support, not everybody is able to give support. Hang in there, sorry you've been feeling this way. I don;t think it has anything to do with your coolness or passing.
zackriotpdx 1 year ago
@zackriotpdx thank zack, you're right, people come on here for various reasons. are you from portland!? that is where i'm moving in a month =)
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
Hey :) In response to this video - Yes, you do matter. You are good enough. I'm glad I found your channel. I don't always have time to respond to comments and videos immediately - but I do try to respond as soon as I can. People have different ideas of what the youtube community means. I think the frustrations you express are shared by many. Internet social networks are a strange and evolving space. Hope you feel better soon.
deaddogx 1 year ago
@deaddogx thank you, your comment as well as others makes me think we need to make some videos about what community means, and how we can create relationships in the cyberage. i really do think human interaction is forever changed at this point... i have felt so much better since i just spoke up and said what apparently so many people feel... sent a little bit of my soul into the cosmos lol
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
@youcancallmethedude ...I'm so pleased that you spoke out and sent this little piece of your soul into the cosmos :) I think you're right; those of us that feel strongly about this being a community space could do well to make more videos about this subject. I have made videos about community but not specifically about this aspect of our internet community. I have seen a few videos from other youtubers who have felt similarly upset by a perceived lack of reciprocity. Best wishes to you.
deaddogx 1 year ago
i always read & respond to my messages even the really big, long ones. your efforts to reach out to ME felt good, forget the others. think of it as the ones who respond are the most important connections to maintain in your life. I think it's definitely a destructive thought pattern to believe it was Something about You that made you "un-watchable" or whatever. i feel so dorky most of the time I cant understand why people would like to watch ME but that's irrelevant. i accept you fully & like U!
BonesDGAF021 1 year ago
@BonesDGAF021 thanks jakob, i actually thought of you specifically when i was thinking about how i need to really focus on those people who do respond and interact. so you hit the nail on the head with this comment here. it's the same struggle i've had for years... we have limited amounts of energy, and the best thing to do is to give that energy to people who spend theirs on you. i accept you fully and like u as well
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
There's nothing about you isn't good enough. You are expressing stuff that is totally natural. Sometimes I try to look at this whole youtube thing as a little bit discourse, a little bit a diary, and hopefully something that I am really trying to commit to staying with....at different levels. I really, really don't want to leave. Thanks for this really honest, emotive video. really awesome.
freshlycharles 1 year ago
@freshlycharles thanks charles, i'm trying not to be embarassed by the near crying and the mannerism of about 4:45 hehe. i really want to explore the way human interactions have changed with technology. it's a big topic though!
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
BTW, I go by Bear, Im Pre everything, I just happen to have my dads chest and my moms sideburns, nice to meet your sire. Im sorry, I dont have a channel other than my old comedy channel with my birth name. laaaaaaaame
lorenatorres 1 year ago
@lorenatorres well nice to meet you bear. your moms sideburns... lol
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
@youcancallmethedude likewise dude. and yeah you should see them. she looks like feddy fender.
lorenatorres 1 year ago
Cont: Now I get SO many comments and messages from people, that it's very hard to keep up. I try my hardest to respond to all of them, but i don't always have time. It also feels less personal now.
Anyway, i'll be subscribing to you. I hope you feel better!
0HeyJude0 1 year ago
@0HeyJude0 thanks man, and yeah i can see how it would get less personal as more people watch. i've sifted through a thousand comments on some people's videos and so many of the comments are hate that i suppose i shouldn't feel too jealous of that hehe. take it easy
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
Hey man, i just found your channel through Dweeb's video. I'm sorry you're feeling so left out. I think you're right in that some people don't appreciate the support offered by the community. You seem very well-spoken.
As i got more subscribers, my channel has begun to feel less and less personal. It used to feel like an intimate conversation with the same people over and over. I would recognize all the names, and we would comment and respond to each other's videos.
0HeyJude0 1 year ago
yup. weird how people you have never met or communicated with can make you feel that way huh? Hope you know that your videos are appreciated and so are you as a human. Take care dude.
lorenatorres 1 year ago
@lorenatorres yeah... and the fact that it does make me think maybe i am a bit insecure... it's really a bigger issue for me than just youtube... ishould do another vid i guess and elaborate so it doesn't seem so much like i'm just upset at a few people cause it's bigger than that. dude is that really your phone number on your channel?! lol
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
@youcancallmethedude yeah man it was but then the crazies started to call me "/ that is also my weenie, her name is "little dog" but I get what you are saying. its hard not to be insecure when youre going through something that leaves you feeling so vulnerable. You look and sound great (no homo) youre just human and we all have feelings, sometimes we just forget to consider others. I dont. but others do :p
lorenatorres 1 year ago
i hear you. one of the reasons i left. lots of subscribers but not many views or comments. why continue? maybe send this video to all the people whose videos you watch regularly and say hey, it's me, want you to check out my channel. maybe you'll be the kind of guy and story that some people are looking for. i felt weird listening to this as i know i was being discussed somewhat. it's complicated for me. you're an awesome guy and are good enough for anyone and anything. don't stop believin that.
Zedie36 1 year ago
@Zedie36 i'm sorry you felt weird, that was not my intent. i was just trying to express my personal feelings of sadness and loneliness.hugs bro
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
@youcancallmethedude hugs back, bro. geez...why am i still awake??? it's your fault for getting me all stimulated on facebook :)
Zedie36 1 year ago
@Zedie36 haha well i blame my book that i'm trying to read... which is why i'm so distracted by the internet hehe. i'm actually reading a book about how mobilization of NGO's related to HIV/AIDS in Africa were instrumental in the development of democracy. interesting but... i prefer to read about socialism hehe
youcancallmethedude 1 year ago
Right on, Nick. Love and hugs. Response coming up.
Dweebiedo 1 year ago