Added: 3 years ago
From: NonStampCollector
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  • You know I would sue that restaurant, I don't think they gave me a three dimensional universe to eat at all. I'm pretty sure it had these folded up stringy dimensions in it! (Though the cook keeps saying that wasn't true.)

    I know I'll be eating my universes elsewhere though! No more Dark Flow from me there.

  • Back when I was christian I asked some christian friends why god would allow suffering and starvation...how he could be ok with it.They said it all went back to 'eve' in the garden of eden. Heh, I think they should have watched this video. Also, I asked them why they didn't question things like this more often. The answer? "I might lose my faith if I look too hard. Gaining knowledge is satan's way of misleading us!" wow...smh.

  • @Tremari0 "I might lose my faith if I look too hard. Gaining knowledge is satan's way of misleading us!" So they basically admitted that knowledge is ignorance in their realm? George Orwell would have been proud...or horrified.

  • @eyeonwashparish "war is peace; freedom is slavery; ignorance is strength"

    by fighting a non-stop war against non-believers or members of other sects they achieve peace within their group, ignorance prevents doubts which could hurt their faith and undermine their cohesion and thus their strength, and slavery to their god is their idea of freedom.

  • I have debated many Christians and they all have the same Bible goggles on. It is just so pointless talking to anyone who thinks they are smarter than every scientist on the planet. Christians don't even follow the Bible. You end up arguing with someone who doesn't even practice what they preach. Now, I just feel sorry for someone who is that pitiful. My heart goes out to Christians for being so lost and lazy in thought.

  • God sacrificed himself to himself so he didn't have to send us to Hell, which he created, so he could save us from being sent there. We are responsible for someone else's sin and punished for it unless we praise God? Ok, sounds reasonable. Worship me, so when you die, you can worship me eternally for not torturing you because you didn't believe in me. Sweet deal! So, I will be tortured for eternity unless I accept responsibility for another's crime and I have to worship the judge for saving me?

  • Excellent video.

  • not to be cross, but how would re perceive the things that "god" decided not to put in our world

  • I'm never going to a restaurant again... Those waiters (according to this video) are ASSHOLES >.>

  • But who made the restaraunt God visited? You can't say for certain they spoke English and wore blue suits....how dare you deny the existance of the Pre-Creation 'Jim Bobs House of Ribs" because we all know God is into BBQ, it says so in the bible that since the smell of burning flesh is pleasing therefore he loves BBQ

  • Is there any way the religious fanatics in the Republic Party running for President could be forced to watch this/

  • A bit of a milder perspective of yahweh's psychotic insanity than I'd express ... but sooooooo beautifully executed.

    If possible at all, could one mount a campaign to work this into high school curriculums??? And if so, where do I sign?

  • god made universe and love us, man create religion and selfish , god let us create our reallyti as we want

  • Comment removed

  • Telepathy?

    No.

    Thought crime?

    Yes.

    lol

  • genius

  • Does no-one mention nor believe that it is Satan who is responsible for all evil in the world? Satan is the darkness, Jesus is the light. Yes, Satan has to ask God before he moves against an enemy, and if God permits it, it is to fulfill divine providence.

    And Hell is NOT eternal. Thats why its called the second death! You people do not understand! Read the bible before you accuse God of punishing forever. If it was forever Jesus did not pay the price on the cross! Does no-one hear the word?

  • @GriiiiiiinD Can you back up your claims with evidence or are you just spewing out bullshit that you cannot prove?

  • @GriiiiiiinD There's a difference between purgatory and hell.

  • @fedelede2 No there isn't, both dont exist.

  • @itchygonads I mean theologically, you idiot.

  • @fedelede2 I am aware of this, i just wanted to dampen your argument. Yes I am an idiot, a stellar observation. Lol what a pretentious clown.

  • @itchygonads Pretentious clown? Dampen? You never actually attacked my point since I was talking to him theologically (something which, btw, I don't believe in) and you came in with Atheist principles which had nothing to do with the argument. I find YOU are the pretentious clown and not me.

  • @fedelede2 I wasn't meant to be attacking A SINGLE THING. I was making a jokey comment about the proposition of those things. Atheist principles? And what would those be? What religion do you fall under? Nope, I still find you the pretentious clown.

  • @itchygonads I'm an agnostic, and I was speaking to the Christian theologically speaking. Now, just shut up.

  • @fedelede2 ah agnostics, the most cowardly and pretentious of all beliefs. LOL.

    Really? That is it? Shut up? Wow...Embarrassing. Peace out

  • @itchygonads excuse me? cowardly? 

  • @fedelede2 Not just that, but stupid, you clearly do not know what agnostic means. I am an agnostic atheist, and so are you.

    If you are agnostic it means you do not know if there is no god, but you believe there is no god. If your are a nostic atheist, it means you not only claim there is no god, but claim to know there is no god. Same with nostic and agnostic theists. One claims that he doesnt not know, but believes. The other claims he knows. LOL SCHOOLED PRETENTIOUS IDIOT.

  • @itchygonads When did I ever say anything opposed to that? I don't know if there's no god, so I just don't care. LOL SCOOL PRETENTIOUS IDIOT. Also, you're blocked.

  • @fedelede2 blocking, the last cowardly thing you iwll do lol

  • @itchygonads it's "Gnostic", not "nostic".

  • @KeistasZmogelis Thanks for the spelling lesson mum.

  • @itchygonads No prob. the "A" stands for "Not a" or "non" (just like in Atheist vs Theist). Everything else is a full word, so when saying a positive "Gnostic", you can't remove the G.

  • @GriiiiiiinD read bible before u support ur imaginary god

  • @GriiiiiiinD Well, God created Satan, didn't he? So God IS responsible for all evil in the world. And if hell isn't eternal, then what is it? I've read the bible. "If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire *never goes out*." (Mark 9:43) "[...] and be thrown into hell, where *their worm does not die*, and the fire *is not* quenched." (Mark 9:47b-48b)So please explain what hell is if Jesus lied?

  • more like beginning

  • not to reduce this video, but what about all the stuff "god" decided to leave out, stuff that we never see because he left it out.

  • Just as he said "Let there be light" my computer crashed!

  • Maybe in the end, Yahweh decided to just blow the shit up and forget about it.

    That would explain the Big Bang and everything else too.

  • @j919or Yeah because everyone who has a different opinion than you is automatically evil. You're so close-minded, someone else's point of view on the world is scary so you say it's the work of the devil. Why don't you go out and get some real perspective on the world before you bash someone's beliefs.

  • The entire creation is free to choose God. Yall are free to confess that you are evil and be controled by God. Yall refuse the gift of eternal life and have no one else to blame but self.

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  • @j919or Saying it doesn't make it so.  Abre los ojos.

  • @j919or I would rather do good without so called "Reward" after death to motivates you. At least we Atheist rather change our world in a productive and advance forward with rational thinking.

  • If human rather feels that they are superior just because different groups of people in the past(about 2 millennia ago) wrote about someone that died 300~500years before them, and still claim all the words are truth. You know, by passing words along 10 person. Usually the meaning and words would be twisted beyond recognition. How can anyone with basic common sense to believe in different groups of people claiming theirs were the words of God, and after so many year gap?

  • @j919or : how is that freedom again? If you say no, you are doomed. Sorry, that just seems like a rigged game from the beginning...

  • What do the critics have to say about YHWH's delicious creation?

    "Yum yum! Tastes like dirt!"

    There you have it :)

  • Telepathy ? No

    Thought crime? Yes

  • Christians! Shed the fear! Get rid of the demon called Jesus Christ and live a life of freedom! You can be an atheist and be moral too! Goddammit! Wake the fuck up! I'm serious! I used to be one of you. I was secretly miserable like you. No one should have to live their one and only life like that!

  • very interesting..watch again......let there be light

  • 0:30 HAHA!! THIS IS REAL FOLKS!!!! WHY?? AND REMEMBER -YOU--- HAD TO DO IT FOR HIM/ HE COULDNT DO THIS??? WTF??-

  • Waiter: Telepathy?

    God: No.

    Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--- SO CLOSE!

  • You know, I once ordered a universe KIND of similar like this. I just made the afterlife a little more interesting, varied and not necessarily eternal, and I didn't make worshipping me of any real importance.

    I would have nixed birth-defects too, but I had to include them to keep the evolutionary system working properly.

    Also mine included things like wizards and superheroes. And I added a fairly easily accessible hyperspace.

    Otherwise similar though!

  • goddamn you are so fucking funny! Thanks!...old man

  • OM NOM NOM NOM NOM!!! LMFNutsO!!

  • I'm not sure but I think this could be the best Atheist video on the net.

  • There's just no way to summarize Christianity without it sounding like a joke!

    8^D

  • Iniquity. That's a funny word. So is debauchery.

    LOL, great video

  • As a Christian, this video didn't even bother me... Yeah, I agree with everything

  • oh man your videos are brilliant, this is coming from a new atheist

  • Telepathy?

    No.

    Thought Crime?

    Yes.

    Brilliant!!!

  • Clamidia!!

  • I would like to burn in hell forever rather than to worship a monstrous bloodthirsty maniac they call god

  • @altairx26 Well the options seem to be limited. Tortured in hell or be a suppository/toilet for their god. Have to not only brown nose him, but take all his shit with a smile. One of the other reasons Pascal's Wager is junk.

  • Yaweh: Supreme Asshole

  • most wanted yahweh... wanted dead or alive. reward freedom.

  • In Gods defense, that burning cow does seem like a good burger.

  • Nonstampcollector,I think your videos are funny, but they would be alot better if you put some effort into your animations (or lack of). Watching a motionless picture of someone while they are talking just doesn't do it for me. Very funny though, I love all the movies so far.

  • @sneedledout You could always take a look at my Muhammed show if you feel inclined.

  • @sneedledout

    i think the simplistic illustrations add to the humor. i dont think it would be as powerful or as funny if there were actual animations because then people might focus more on the animations rather than the message.

  • non-stampcollector it would be cool if you made a video with the reason why Lucifer betrayed God. making Lucifer smart and stuff lol

  • I am just happy he didn't go for the after dinner mint...

  • i wonder what he will be having for his next meal?

  • @theUKatheist

    Apocalypse, I guess.

  • @MalchikBlue apocachips? :)

  • Almost fall of the chair at 0:23 , LOL, the worst thing is it is true. the OT says that he loves the smell of animal sacrifice... -_- .

  • I'll have what he's having.

  • Great video:))))

  • this is freaking hilarious 

  • @Hinataxxxneji ok so you have free will but you have to pass my test. If you fail by not doing what I told you too then you can't live with me...

    Yea I know I'm gracious and all merciful.

  • Youre a fucking genius! A fucking genius!!! If you had sex with my girlfriend it would make me love her more...

  • @zajebanter lol,your'e creepy

  • @tarnicles So they say :P

  • really f ing dumb! Who mode this $%#^

  • @dragongreenfire. He put the tree there to test adam and eve to see if they would listen to him or not.

  • Thank god we have a god that loves us so much he hates us. Or could it be we have a human bunch of ass wipe religious leaders down through history that write books that they say a hateful killing god ordered. If we got all the molesting Catholic priests together they would create the bible in its present form again.

  • Another very funny video, but one question: why do you never make fun of islam? Are you afraid they might do something to you?

  • @dutchbb1979 well, this one make fun of all three Abrahamic monotheisms in a way...

  • way too funny!!! love your video's

  • LOL, God's expression in the beginning of the video. >:[ 

  • "Good stuff, that's mine. Bad stuff, that's going to be their own fault." hahaha

  • well you can make almost anything look stupid if you break it down like this. ironically it's even more ridiculous when you extend it for 1000 pages.

  • 726 people don't like the reality that the all loving man made God is a crazed maniac that they worship lol

  • @javonne HAHA!!

  • @x86freak

    And the person completely ignorant of the Christain God? They oppose God as well?

    Well a perfect unsinfull being that is also capable of tempting man and bringing sin into the world is preposterous.

  • I wonder if he had dessert

  • the waiter has a funny oval head... o_o

  • I don't get the thought crime bit

  • @fatsterfatster It's the concept that thinking bad things is a crime.

  • The cow part killed me! LMAO!!!!

  • After seeing dozens of your videos, I subscribed with this one.

    Keep up the good work!

  • You, sir, are a genius. LMAO!

  • love it! <3 NSC.....

    Thumbs up for the "1984" reference with the thoughtcrime thing. lol!! its kinda like the party and oceania.

  • This is great!

  • god created the world in 5 minutes

  • lol. Dude you're a dick!

  • Hmmm,that's some good universe xp

  • This is so brilliant. I watch it at least once a day and still crack up at some of the great, hilarious lines. Good work!

  • This is so brilliant. I watch it at least once a day and still crack up at some of the great, hilarious lines. Good work!

  • What is for dessert? LOL

  • this is soo......GREAT!!!!

  • the only unforgivable sin is rejecting and blaspheming God and you do just that but even worse so because you're doing it on a public forum...i never realized you were a witness to when the foundations of creations were lain down i mean you must have been since you obviously know there is no God. Let go of your ego and pride, do you think you're bigger than the great design of the universe? Can you yourself create something out of nothing? think about it..how do you know that you're alive?

  • @foreverdreamer2012 Since I don’t think NSC himself will be checking for comments directed to him, I’ll answer on his behalf just for fun.

    - We know that blasphemy is the unforgivable sin according to the book, and as said in the video. It’s strange why God didn’t pick rape or murder over that.

    - We did not witness the formation of the universe, no, but that doesn’t mean we will accept Magic-man did it.

    - If God is that of the Bible, yes we are better.

    - Can anyone create out of nothing?

  • @foreverdreamer2012 How I know I am alive? Cogito Ergo Sum. Unless you want to redefine "alive".

    NSC have a video where he explains that he does not hold that he knows that there is no God or Gods, or what "God" is, by defining that he do not know the origin of the universe, and for skeptics in general that is the common position. Amongst youtube atheist there is some who claim knowledge about such claims to be negative, but they are uncommon.

  • I am sorry I missed out on the waiter going back into the kitchen and saying "Oh god I HATE this asshole so MUCH. And he doesn't tip."

  • This God is so funny!! I love it! Thank you for creating these videos! They are spot on and crack. me. up!!

  • If I was that waiter in the middle of this I'd stop him and say "Dude...What the fuck is wrong with you?"

  • Does this make the waiters god?

  • @LexiOverdose Or "chefs" I suppose in this case.

  • @LexiOverdose Yes. Its sad really. I guess they are seen as "angels". You can see in NSC other videos that he has understood that angels are good, while god is heinous and destructive. In reality they are not angels, but underpaid Gods that have to work for a living, while Yahwe is the son of a very rich ubergod and can just breeze through life. Much like on earth, those people become emphatically dead, useless pieces of shit without any function other then to destroy all things around them.

  • @GnosticAtheist The whole concept is sad.

  • @LexiOverdose Oh I can think of other things I find much worse. Like eating to much. I just did. It is far worse.

  • @GnosticAtheist lol eating too much is very painful. but i'd rather eat too much than deal with hypocritical bullshit ruling the world.

  • "Death by stoning and burning alive for me thanks..." Hahaha! :D

  • JesusLovesRoger

    , Hi, how does StampCollectors' making of videos somehow 'prove' that the Bible-g-d is the 'True' g-d. ?

    Please explain.

  • The lack of understanding of covenants is truly beyond comprehension.

  • @JesusLovesRoger

    God and I made a covenant that you will send me all your money.  No need for you to have any say in it. Now fork over with the bucks, Mack, and none of your "I never agreed to this!" guff.

  • Love it! Anything that pisses cultists off and wakes them up even a little bit (even if it's just to shit themselves in fear and hatred at being exposed to the truth) is a good thing.

  • Brilliant !

    In one short video you have exposed the 'g-d' of the bible for what it is ..................

  • @UncagedCardinal No. He has proven the Bible to be absolutely true by the very fact he makes videos such as these. All children of Adam behave like Adam did, unless they are born again. Sadly StampCollector proclaims he was once in the faith, but by his very videos he portrays that he never knew the Lord God.

  • If God is good then he is not competent. If he is competent then he is not good.

  • i am recruiting for the curch of the turtle

    join now and save your souls from an eternity of rolling on your back

    the great turtle created the universe wich stands over the great sea of ice

    he still now protects us from the ice giants and the blue pepole from the east.

    (this is no joke dont reply a lol)

  • lol hilarious mate

  • OHHHHHHH that is pleasing XDDDDD

  • it's funnier because God could have just created a world where they have freewill just the same, but choose not to sin.

  • LOL! I get it! These cartoons are making fun of the Torah!

  • Delicious.....

  • I choked on my Coca Cola at 4:11 chuckling and got the liquid in my nose while chuckling or choking

  • God: The imaginary asshole.

  • Wouldn't it be interesting if, after this, Yahweh went on to have desert and created a universe exactly the opposite of ours?

  • "So if you are to follow God you don't question His orders. "

    Even when he orders to kill your own child?

  • another great one! but the list of deseases could be longer for comedic effect. but the wrap up is genious

  • Ha ha ha stupid Christians!

  • telepathy - no

    thought crime - yes

    exactly. Punish people for not believing in god but dont know how to find out what someone believes or thinks.

  • Telepathy? No

    Thought Crime? yes!

    LMAO!

    Oh man! So awesome!

  • win

  • genius!

  • This god sure sounds like what a reptilian would sound like..hmmm

  • Yup. Yahweh is pretty damn petty.

  • God loves you. If you don't have a personal relationship with his son, Jesus, you will go to hell. That simple.

  • Do you believe people deserve that fate?

  • Well, I don't believe in your fairy tale lane, so your fear tactics will not scare me into religion. Consider what you are doing with that comment by the way. What a terrible way to get people to see your side of things. "Do this or else!"...pretty lame. That makes you no better then a terrorist. I think I will just go on about my life being a moral person because it is the right thing to do, not for fear of damnation. If your god would send me away for that then he is no friend of mine....

  • @marky2112 Jesus sucks my dicck every day.

  • God created the world and it was good.

    Man broke a rule and that made it possible for sin to enter the world.

    Sin corrupted & twisted everything.

    Man now possessed free will but it came at a great price.

    From that point every person is judged by a divine rule which states that punishment for Sin is Death.

    Sin unlike a criminal offense has no degrees. It's like binary code either 1 or 0. Sin or no Sin.

    A Lie is Sin.

    A murder is Sin.

    Both punished by Death.

  • Who's going to punish your god for HIS sins?

  • God is the creator of everything meaning He is the ultimate judge and no one can judge Him.

    Divine judgment =/= Sin.

  • So, what you're saying is that "your god has all the power, so we can do nothing to judge him for his unethical actions"? This may be true [depending upon the very existence of THIS god you speak of], . . . but ultimate power does not mean "blindly follow rules and ideologies that are unethical/immoral.

    Ultimate Power =/= ethics/morality

  • Well if you are say a thief you don't have a moral right to judge another thief. With God being a saint and people being sinners we have not moral right to judge Him.

    You are free to follow or break divine rules and earthly ones, but do remember Punishment is always there waiting.

  • We have EVERY right to judge the biblical god because he ISN'T a saint. That's the point that I am trying to address.

    Just because a being has a lot of power, doesn't make said being "a saint". In many instances, it makes him a bully.

    And don't give me that "punishment" crap. IF YOU are going to follow "divine rules", be sure to let law enforcement know when you stone your unruly child to death,...and let law enforcement know where the bodies of the witches you kill are at. Thanks.

  • You don't judge an executioner for flickin the switch in states where death penalty is allowed. State laws permit and the "killer" is not help responsible.

    "Eye for an eye" laws are no longer valid. When Jesus came He gave new laws which do not allow people to be executioners.

    Also Jesus told people they should not fight violence. The best example of this I think is Gandhi.

  • But you haven't really responded to the main point of this video. You believe that your god is a perfect, omniscient, omnipotent being, correct? If this is true, why would his creation, and plan for his creation, seem so petty and convoluted (as if it came from the imagination of bronze age nomads)? Seriously, this religion is BENEATH YOU as a human being. We have the ability to discern the atrocities god commits in the bible from the basic moral teachings of jesus WITHOUT NEEDING RELIGION.

  • @x86freak

    "When Jesus came He gave new laws"

    and specifically said that he did not come to change any of the old ones. It's fun to ignore that point isnt it