Crabs in a Barrel: The Baby Mommas That Want You to Suffer Too

[chamaflauge]

She is so, so, so speaking the truth....How much of us blacks are victims of single parent households. I have subscribed.

[Mokurentate]

My own mom spews shit about how me and my older sister should have kids without a spouse after a certain age. I think she's even happy that my older brother knocked up a chick without marrying her. I am a proud black NWNW woman and I will not make the same mistake I see these women are making with the lives of them and their children.

[fileboy2002]

Men who intentionally get women pregnant and walk out on them do it to impress other men. Being able to seduce a woman, get her pregnant, and walk away without paying support is a way of "getting over" on women, a way that can increase a man's status with his male peers. It is twisted, but there it is.

[bikerchic650]

You forgot about Nixmary Brown and Precious Doe (NATIONAL ATTENTION!). Its worse than the Maury Show smh.

[mindyourbizok]

pregnancy tests. If she decides to do an abortion, it should be done as soon as possible. Women should remember that sex is not all that life has to offer. Not having sex would not hurt a young person. Sex is not something that should be done with anyone. People need to know someone as much as possible before the get intimate with them. This also includes the older adults. Sex bonds people and should be handled with care.

[mindyourbizok]

I am not in favor of abortions. Prevention is the best cure. I know that some young women find themselves in unfavorable situation. I learned from youtube that abortions can cause some women to feel guilty. If a woman decides to get an abortion, she should make it her last abortion and she should learn from her mistake. Abortion goes against the body. A woman should quickly take the morning after pill right after she has unprotected sex. Sexually active young women should constantly take ...

[mindyourbizok]

I believe that people shouldn't have children until they are in a committed relationship such as marriage or a life long domestic partnership. Girls and young women should live a little before the have children. I believe that women shouldn't have children before the age of 23 unless they are married. Young married women should marry a man in their age group. Young women should also consider abstinence and celibacy. Abstinece and celebacy never killed anyone.

[Debsterism]

Don't be posting on this page religious BS talk about abortion is a sin and what the bible said. That is just some brain washed hogshit that people buy into in order to guilt trip women who exercise their legal right to end a pregnancy. The bible is not the law, and that kind of talk doesn't have a leg to stand on in court. Not everyone believe your god or your bible so don't assume 'your beliefs is everyone else's.

[fpres1079]

ABORTION is SIN....SO, although this video is ok, the truth is that ABORTION has such a high-rate of POST-ABORTION SYNDROME (80%+ women today)...if you do the crime, pay the time....so, if the woman is fooled/tricked/gives in to sleeping with the man, then gets pregnant, then she needs to deal with that.

"saddling yourself into responsibilities"...that's crazy.

[Debsterism]

@fpres1079 "ABORTION is SIN.."

No abortion is not a sin. This is some religious made up bullshyt designed to guilt trip a woman into being saddled with a baby she is not ready or prepared to have. Silly women just like you who choose to live a life of hardship because you got pregnant need to stop guilt tripping women who have sense enough to realize that one mistake an accidental pregnancy doesn't mean there needs to be two mistakes, an 'accidental baby'. Get real!

[terathomas76]

Wow! I am so glad that I found this video. I love your views ans have been saying this for years. Its like when you tell folks 2 get married before kids, u have women that will argue with you like you are wrong for wanting to do it THE WAY IT WAS INTENDED to be. Thanks so much for making women like me that are choosing to love their UNBORN kids so much that they will wait for the right situation to bring them up in, NOW that is REAL Love. GOD Bless You. Please keep it up!

[ANationAtRisk]

Your deep. And I like it. Never back down, take it to them. Growing up in poverty is no joke. The young males we work with, we keep it real with three principal rules: Be a Good Son, Become a Good Husband and then a Good Father. I hope more sisters listen to your advice, even though they might not agree on everything.

[BValchan]

I agree wholeheartedly with this video...However, I'd also like to know your opinion of men who are *against* marriage, and don't care if they produce a child with a woman they're not married to, yet santimoniously condemn "single mothers". I for one, refuse to bring bastards into this world.

[nancydrew5]

@BValchan "However, I'd also like to know your opinion of men who are *against* marriage, and don't care if they produce a child with a woman they're not married to, yet santimoniously condemn "single mothers"

Men like that either need to be. (a) vasectomy so they won't ever get a woman pregnant, (b) start having sex with men, that way they won't ever get a woman pregnant (c). Castration that way they won't ever get a woman pregnant.

[Debsterism]

@BValchan Look at my list of videos. You will see how I think about males (can't call them sorry butts MEN), that behave in that way.

[micjone]

I love this video and agree with most of what you say. I especially like what you say about the importance of fatherhood. Fathers should not be viewed as optional. A woman can not be the mother and the father! I'd also add that the whole "it takes a village" is bull! Children NEED mommy AND daddy and they will be the first ones to tell you that. I was raised by a single mother, and the what some might call the "village". Trust me, it's over rated!

[AintBehavinMis]

@mharri30 " No it's not selling stupid and being dumb. It's about taking responsibility for your actions. Children are a blessing from God! Why take away a life?? Dumb is you!"

Yeah it's stupid to be a baby mama at 22 and bring a child into this world without first thinking about what is best for the child. The stability of the child. Were you financially able to take care of that child all by yourself? Where would you be without other family helping you out. Yeah that's stupid. Abortion!

[AintBehavinMis]

@mharri30

You baby mamas kill me trying to glorify your situation and make yourself out to be something special because you made that baby mama mess work for you. And y'all always have to give a testimony about your life to prove it. All this proves is you are one mo baby mama struggling to make ends meet on one salary with (teachers don't make that much). When you could have been enjoying your life, traveling the world, having fun as a 22 yr old instead of behaving like an old woman. DUMB!

[AintBehavinMis]

@mharri30 "Sure the young girl will be baby free but I really don't think the long term effects are worth it.

Yeah it is far better for her to be a single baby mama struggling with govt. handouts unable to take care of her baby properly looking for mama and grandmama to help her out. It is much better to bring a child in the world on an accident' than to have one because it was wanted by BOTH parents. Child please.. go sell stupid to someone else and stop expecting others to be dumb like u.

[AintBehavinMis]

@mharri30 "I didn't agree on was the "If you happen to get pregnant, have an abortion." Sure the short term effects are feelings or relief and brief happiness, but the long term effects are guilt and regret."

Another crab in the bucket single baby mama trying to guilt trip a young girl into having a low level of life and struggle with the baby mama mess like you did. Just because YOU felt guilty don't assume other women will feel the same way. For some having an abortion is a Long term relief.

[jianniestrong]

Cosign...

[maipai101]

@ 6:21 Awwww. You go Debra!!!

[MoonMami]

Encouraging marriage for young people as the sole window of access to sex is ignorant if the primary msg is not one stressing healthy relationships. Marriage does not automatically = healthy relationship. Secondly, fathers in a child's life is not always healthy & a woman should be able to use her judgment based on her interaction w/ the father. This NWNW msg is poorly developed & is interpreted diff depending on who the messager is.

[nancydrew5]

@MoonMami "Encouraging marriage for young people as the sole window of access to sex is ignorant if the primary msg is not one stressing healthy relationship"

I thought the campaign was no wedding no womb as in 'no womb to bear OOW babies'. I think you're taking about 'No wedding no VJ' which is not what the campaign is about. People can have 'responsible premarital sex, w/o having OOW babies. I thought it was understood that a healthy relationship is required for a successful marriage.

[Debsterism]

@MoonMami - Nobody said that. You obviously didn't listen to the video very well. Of course marriage does not automatically equal anything. But we should hope a woman has enough sense to pick a solid, sensible man to marry and to father her children vs. a dumb ass fool. The NWNW message is developed just fine unless a person seeks to poke holes in it to justify having babies out of wedlock. I hope that is not what you are trying to say but it is certainly suspicious.

[MoonMami]

@Debsterism I suggest you read the blogs of those who, like you, support the NWNW campaign. I stand by my statement that the NWNW msg is poorly developed & is interpreted diff depending on who the messager is. You don't have to be suspicious of my stance. I assert confidently that I don't support the NWNW campaign which fails to address economic situations that contribute to familial make-ups of black families, illogically equating the ills of society with OOW births.

[Debsterism]

@MoonMami

What specifically have you done to address the economic situations that contribute to familial make-ups of black families? What campaigns have you started that addess this issue you raised? This is not the purpose of the NWNW campaign. The NWNW campaign was very specific in its target audience and goal which are explained on their website. No one campaign will address every concern in the black community, it takes the collective actions of people who are not simply throwing salt.

[MoonMami]

@Debsterism I respectfully disagree. There was no inherent or stated specificity; b/c you interpreted it as being specific does not make it so. Only this week was a mission statement even written for this initiative. The goals of the program, according to the NWNW, are "coming soon".

Personally, since you asked, I can tell you that I do a lot on behalf of black families...

[Debsterism]

@MoonMami Who cares about a damn written Mission Statement? The focus of this initiative is on people, not procedures and processes. That is the problem with Black folks, always getting bogged down in rhetoric and bullshit protocol. Instead of wasting time on that, let's get busy making a change in our communities and reaching young women! Teens don't give a shit about a Mission Statement! Kids need adults to care about them and let them know that we do.

[MoonMami]

@Debsterism having a business plan is rhetoric and bullshit, too, right? A mission statement and goals are NECESSARY for any "movement" that is supposed to engage others. Even if the target audience is young people, those implementing the message are adults. Your simplistic and angry "answers" could be the reason why-- from your perspective-- ain't shit been done successfuly about OOW . LOL @ you erasing my last msg indicating that I actually have experience backing up my so-called"rhetoric."

[Debsterism]

@MoonMami

You are showing the exact crab in barrel behavior from the video. You want to drag down a movement, rip it apart and detract from the positive. You are bringing up minor shyt to talk about nothing, all in an attempt to deflect from the message; which is teens and young women should not become single baby mamas by okey doke men. They should go as far as they can in life and not be saddled with single baby mama drama in the prime of their lives. Babies belong in a two parent family.

[Debsterism]

@MoonMami No, its not. If you notice more than 100 people were enthusiastic supporters of the new movement with the verbal "mission" quite clear to us. Not only that, the message was not meant for women such as yourself that are past the age of 30 already mothers. This message was meant for youngsters that don't have children! Your comments and your fixation on criticizing something that is 100% positive makes you look questionable. And I didn't erase anything so I'm not sure what you mean.

[afamqueen05]

ALTERNATIVE VIEW: 1) Europeans that enslaved Africans had a mission AND a business plan for slave trading; 2) The "mission" was to conquer/enslave, which drastically altered the African family structure; 3) Black men were passed among women as studs to reproduce more slaves; 4) Slave women were considered illiterate breeders and sometimes received incentives for breeding - sound familiar? This is what is called a generational curse! Yes, NWNW, don't sugarcoat the slave mentality! Expose it ALL!

[kmcl11]

@afamqueen05 Interesting point. But that doesnt explain why the marriage rate out of wedlock rate was higher and lower respectively in the 1950's to 70's among blacks.

[afamqueen05]

@kmcl11 you're right...but it gives us a place to start to look to find one of the roots of the problem. We can't forget the socio-economic factors or the new ways that we began to view/respect ourselves as times changed. What was going on from the 50s to 70s? Unfortunately, many of our people have went BACK to the slave breeding mentality in 2010 and those progressive decades are sadly fading away in the background. What happened to the unwed social stigma of the 1950s and 1970s? Got accepted.

[Debsterism]

@MoonMami "I can tell you that I do a lot on behalf of black families..."

I didn't ask you what have you done on behalf of black families, I asked you: "What specifically have you done to address the economic situations that contribute to familial make-ups of black families? What campaigns have you started that addess this issue you raised?" Also this movement isn't about families, it is geared towards teens and single young women not having OOW babies. Are you a single baby mama?

[Debsterism]

@MoonMami

When babies are born within a family unit and the rate of OOW births go down, this will have a positive effect on the economic situations in the black community. Most OOW babies live in poverty with the mother struggling to make ends meet.  Anyone can see that babies born within a family unit with 2 incomes are better off financially than with a single baby mama. Nobody is asking you to support the NWNW campaign it is going quite strong without your support.

[Debsterism]

@MoonMami Oh, and by the way, if women stayed in school and got a college degree without having babies that DRAIN their resources, the "economic situations that contribute to familiar make-ups of black families" would be eliminated. Single Black women that aren't saddled down with day care and children can change jobs at will, relocate for better opportunities, go to Grad School, or marry wealthy men that don't want to marry a baby momma. Problem solved.

[afamqueen05]

@Debsterism YES!!! The thing that's not understood is the long term effect. When these young girls or ancient asses (love that...lol) have an OOW baby and are no longer with the father, their baby daddies come looking for women like me who are childfree, college grad, etc. I DON'T WANT HIM! But, because of this "I Did It And So Can You Mentality" that ancient asses spread to young girls, the dating pool is FLOODED with baby daddies. It's such a shame. Marry your baby daddy - get off the market!

[nancydrew5]

@MoonMami

I don't get why you're nitpicking & trying to bring down the message from this video & NWNW campaign. I went on your page and saw you were a wonderful singer who performed a benefit for Haitians in the hurricane. Now instead of empowering a movement that advocates that young black girls raise their standards, achieve success in life, and when they do have children, have it with a a husband and raise their children in a 'two parent family environment you're throwing salt. why?

[MoonMami]

@nancydrew5 I don't nitpick. Don't confuse critical thinking with nitpicking. Also, I wasn't singing on the video you commented on, I produced that event. I produce fundraisers for causes and for organizations that serve communities and individuals in need. I also work w/ young black girls regularly & advocate for them as a youth development & health facilitator. So, don't confuse my educated stance w/ that of folks making plans for other people's lives.

[nancydrew5]

@MoonMami "I don't nitpick. Don't confuse critical thinking with nitpicking"

I think you have it backwards. What you're doing isn't remotely related to critical thinking, it's nitpicking. You're talking about a mission statement and have said nothing positive about young girls making the decision to NOT become single baby mama's by falling for the okey doke and for young girls to get ahead in life and don't become a statistic. NWNW advocates having babies with husbands, not baby daddies.

[nancydrew5]

@MoonMami

Are you a single baby mama MoonMami? I noticed you didn't answer Debsterism's question to you about that. Nor did you answer her question to you about the economic issue that you raised. See you're trying to nitpick and pick apart NWNW but refuse to get specific about what you do exactly. And you don't have any clue about what Ms. Cooper does off cyberspace. You sound like a crab in the bucket bitter hating ugly nasty acting single baby mama whos jealous Be gone witch!

[grooveparlor]

u betta preach! i have been a fan of yours for years. you wrote this article yes?

a very smart guide to dating

the h* test - my friends & i passed this link around for years!

askheartbeat[dot] com / index.php?option=com_content&t­ask=view&id=82&Itemid=36&limit­=1&limitstart=1

[Debsterism]

@grooveparlor - Yes, I wrote that some years ago. LOL! Good to know someone found it useful and interesting.

[berrygirlfinn]

Powerful and crystal dang on clear!

[Chicago1SilkyBaby]

I love this video!...Another video I will be uploading and sending to my female friends in college!

[Debsterism]

@Chicago1SilkyBaby Thank you Silky Baby. High School and college aged girls is the target market here, so that's perfect.

[MissNayNay]

I also want to make clear that I am NOT saying that a woman who may have been irresponsible by not using bc should not get an abortion. I'm not saying that. What I'm trying to say is that abortion should not be used as a reason or crutch for sexual irresponsiblity. Abortion is a drastic method. If one doesn't want pregnancy, the best thing to do is prevent it from happening in the first place, not throw caution to the wind.

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay ". Abortion is a drastic method. "

How do you know it is drastic? What makes it drastic over any other surgical procedure? I think open heart surgery is drastic, brain surgery is drastic. organ transplants are drastic. I don't see how abortion is drastic.

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay "Abortion is a drastic method. As for the morning after pill, I'm am sure that women are getting less abortions now that came into exsistance. Good thing too because it's safer"

If a doctor who specializes in performing abortions and nurses in a clinic or whatever health professional a woman sees prior to having an abortion deems it safe and that she meets the criteria to have an abortion(s) how can we as layman say it's not safe and that it's drastic method? We aren't docs.

[Debsterism]

@MissNayNay - What are you doing talking about irresponsibility and confusing the issue with blaming tactics? The issue is WHO GIVES A DAMN HOW IT HAPPENED? The bottom line is if a girl is pregnant, either from getting caught up in a lustful moment, being the victim of assault, coercion by slicster, or birth control failure - the result is the same, she doesn't want the baby. She should feel free to get an abortion without feeling guilty about it like you are trying to make these girls feel.

[nancydrew5]

When people say, 'You shouldn't get an abortion, you should carry the baby to full term, then put it up for an adoption, ' What they are really saying is this:

Maybe in 9 months time, with the baby growing inside of you, you will become bonded with the baby and grow to love it and will not want to give the baby up'.

Women know that it is harder to give up a baby for adoption after carrying it full term, than it is to have an abortion when the woman is barely 2 or 3 months pregnant.

[MissNayNay]

I am subed to you and read your blog. We need a female voice like yours. I agree with this video except for 1 thing. I agee that abortion should not be used a a means of birth control. Some women have sex with men unprotected. They don't use birth control pills, diaphragms,etc to prevent themself from pregnancy. Some throw caution to the wind, and if they get prego, use abort. as birth control. I believe that abortion should only be used when other prevention methods FAILED.

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay "I believe that abortion should only be used when other prevention methods FAILED."

I would hope that women have sense enough to use one of the many different forms of BC methods that are out there, however that said, I believe that abortioon should be used when the woman wants to use it. It's her choice, her body whether she aborts once or twenty times, that's all on her.. her body her choice. As long as she doesn't use tax dollars to pay for it (which she doesn't I'm cool)

[MissNayNay]

@nancydrew5 Women who are sexually active should be responsible enough to use birth control and not rely soley rely on an abortion. Abortion should be used as a last resort when everything else failed. Now, if a woman gets pregnant and can't/don't want to take care of a baby, then I agree. But ideally, it's better to use BC and use abortion as a last resort. Abortions shouldn't be use as an excuse to be irresponsible. But, if a woman does get prego and is not ready, then yes, I say abort.

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay "Women who are sexually active should be responsible enough to use birth control and not rely soley rely on an abortion. Abortion should be used as a last resort when everything else failed."

I'm curious and wonder if there are any stats on this. I read that abortion is highest in the African American community but that because white girls go to private doctors and their abortions aren't documented. But i wonder what the rate of abortion is to the use of BC to prevent pregnancy.

[MissNayNay]

@nancydrew5 the stats are irrelevant as well as race. Also, if a woman doesn't want to have a baby, she does two things: use birth control to PREVENT it from happening, or get an abortion when it DOES happen. There is no in between. So if a woman who doesn't want a baby yet uses nothing to prevent pregnancy, then the only other alternative is abortion. There for, yes, there are women who DO use it as their BC vs. using prevention.

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay "the stats are irrelevant as well as race. "

I've heard this comment many times of women using abortion as BC. I would like to research to find out if this is the reality of the situation or if these are a few isolated cases that don't represent the majority. This comment has sparked my curiosity. It's one of those things said often about abortion, and most times it's accepted as 'fact' when it could be anecdotal. What is the # of abortions used as BC as opposed to other methods

[Debsterism]

@MissNayNay - the stats here are NOT irrelevant neither is the race issue. No Wedding No Womb is directed solely at the Black community and its disproportionately high rate of out of wedlock births. These are facts. As I said in the video the best thing to do is to use birth control, but since all of them have a failure rate, a woman must be prepared to have a back up plan, which is usually abortion. I am in favor of legal abortion and advocate use of them as needed.

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay

I wonder if there are a high number of women using abortion as a form of BC especially now with the morning after pill. I hear this comment a lot by men and women. That women use abortion as a form of BC. I'd like to see data on this. interesting.

[MissNayNay]

@nancydrew5 I don't know about data but I known a few who were irresponsible sexually & only use abortion as BC when they got pregnant. However, they are the exception because women, mostly black women, who get pregnant KEEP the baby, which is the point of this vid: Don't waste your future and goals over a baby you're not ready for, and why it's important to have the baby daddy around. If a woman is not using preventative methods and gets pregnany, how else does she get rid of the baby? Abort.

[MissNayNay]

@nancydrew5 As for the morning after pill, I'm am sure that women are getting less abortions now that came into exsistance. Good thing too because it's safer. People call it the "abortion pill," but it's not. I think that it prevents the fertilized egg from attaching to the a woman's uterus. The woman isn't really pregnant until the egg is attached to her uterus.

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay "I'm am sure that women are getting less abortions now that came into exsistance. Good thing too because it's safer. "

Abortions performed by a doctor specializing in this practice is safe. Open heart surgery/brain surgery and other surgeries are more risky. I'm not getting this 'threat of abortion being so drastic, not safe and all of those things. This seems like a fear mongering tactic designed to 'subtly scare people away from having abortions. I don't get it.

[MissNayNay]

@nancydrew5 I don't know what you are trying to pull here. I NEVER said that abortions weren't safe, I said the pill is SAFER ("safer" being a superlative, meaning MORE THAN the other). Yes, I agree that having a specialist perform and abortion is safe. But really, what can be safer and less of a hassle: the morning after pill or having a doctor inject some tool inside of your body to abort a fetus?

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay "As for the morning after pill, I'm am sure that women are getting less abortions now that came into exsistance. Good thing too because it's safer"

I thought when you made this comment here, you were referring to the morning after pill being safer than abortions, because we were talking about 'abortions, not the pill. I wasn't trying to 'pull anything' merely engaging in a discussion and asking questions, for further understanding, is that a crime? lol

[MissNayNay]

@nancydrew5 YOU were the one who first bought up the morning after pill when yo said this: "I wonder if there are a high number of women using abortion as a form of BC especially now with the morning after pill" I just replied to the comment, is all.

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay "YOU were the one who first bought up the morning after pill"

Yes I brought it up first, but not as a debate over using it vs abortions or which is safer, this is 'your argument' not mine. I merely brought it up when I wondered if women were using abortions as bc especially since the morning after pill was invented. I never debated which was safer, better or any of that. You're doing that. To me a woman's decision on how she wishes to end her pregnancy is her choice.

[MissNayNay]

@nancydrew5 I merely commented that it was safer, but you somehow got offended and made an arguement over it when it's not what this whole things is about, not to mention that you were the one who bought it up in the first place. If you didn't thin that it was relavant, than why bring it up in the first place?

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay "but you somehow got offended and made an arguement over it "

Why do you assume I have to be offended and argumentative because I asked if it was factual about abortions being used as BC especially with the morning after pill being invented? Was I not supposed ask questions about this? Why does one have to be argumentative to inquire and ask questions? Could I say you were being defensive since you are accusing me of being argumentative?

[MissNayNay]

@nancydrew5 Well, it must have rattled your feathers for you to comment on something you felt wasn't important.

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay "Well, it must have rattled your feathers for you to comment on something you felt wasn't important."

It must have rattled yours as well. I've never had an abortion, but I accompanied a friend (former roommate in college who did) and none of these things you wrote about, 'drastic method, less safe, multiple abortions used as BC applied. I've also known other girls who've had abortions, and it was all done with a lot of forethought. I've known girls who took morning after pills.

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay "Well, it must have rattled your feathers

Lol you've said I'm'offended, argumentative to having my feathers rattled. funny. how people have to 'attribute some 'negative flaw' to someone when they are challenged about something they've said. I guess people are used to making statements unchallenged and assuming that folks who don't question anything are OK, when actually they're the ones who have issues because they don't ask questions, just swallow what is said to them. lol

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay "I NEVER said that abortions weren't safe, I said the pill is SAFER ("safer" being a superlative, meaning MORE THAN the other"

When you say the morning after pill is safer, what is implied is that it is safer than the other alternative you were previously discussing which is abortion. Which is what you also said here:

"But really, what can be safer and less of a hassle: the morning after pill or having a doctor inject some tool inside of your body to abort a fetus?"

[MissNayNay]

@nancydrew5 Yes, I am saying that and I am sticking to it. If you had a choice, which alternative would you use: The morning after pill or abortion? Which one would you feel would be safer? Or do you feel that they are equally safe?

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay "f you had a choice, which alternative would you use: The morning after pill or abortion? Which one would you feel would be safer? Or do you feel that they are equally safe?"

I think it depends on the circumstances & that's hard to predict. Abortions done properly and within a reasonable time frame are safe & plenty women live through them. We aren't living in the times when women used coat hangers to rid themselves of a baby. I don't have to 'choose' when both options are there.

[MissNayNay]

@nancydrew5 You can't choose without options.

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay " what can be safer and less of a hassle: the morning after pill or having a doctor inject some tool inside of your body to abort a fetus?"

Well based on this logic: 'What could be safer and less of a hassle, eating right, exercising to avoid getting diabetes and HBP all which lead to heart attack and strokes. But should one end up having a heart attack or diabetes, one can get the care and surgery they need from a trained medical doctor so they can get well and live their lives.

[MissNayNay]

@nancydrew5 Uh...yeah. Basically.

[MissNayNay]

@nancydrew5 Also, I am NOT against abortion, but you seem to be making out that I am. I just said that I don't like it being use as a crutch for women who are sexually irresponsible, that's all. They don't use use birth control, have sex with a man who is doesn't use a condom (and I can go on and on about men being sexually irresponsible), or doing nothing to prevent pregnancy or STD from happening, but use abortion as a reason for why they don't need to.

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay "Also, I am NOT against abortion, but you seem to be making out that I am"

This kind of double talk a bout abortion might confuse an impressionable young girl who may be considering it, but all the negative connotations you've attached to it, might make her feel as if she is being judged negatively by making this choice. Childbirth if far more risky than abortion, women suffer all sorts of ailments from it. This sounds like 'pro-life' fear mongering tactics rather than pro-choice

[MissNayNay]

@nancydrew5 *sigh* You are NOT getting my points. PLEASE read back to what I said through all the comments. What I said was not incongruous with anything. I am through with this argument because you seems to be taking things I said and twisting them to into what I DIDN'T say and using that as the basis of your argument.

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay "I just said that I don't like it being use as a crutch for women who are sexually irresponsible, that's all."

Yes you said this, and I wondered if this is true that women use abortions as bc at a high rate or is this another statement thrown around by pro lifers to paint a picture that abortion is out of control and women use it like BC when in fact this is not true. The majority of women don't have money to have abortions so they have the baby but this statement gets overly used.

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay "Also, I am NOT against abortion, but you seem to be making out that I am"

If abortion is a viable medical option for women to use, it's disingenuous to make false statements like women use abortion as bc when we don't know if this is factual in a majority case. It undermines a woman's right to choose abortion free from judgement or fear of her medical safety. if abortion was so dangerous, then women would be dying from it now. Far more women die of childbirth than abortions.

[MissNayNay]

@nancydrew5 I am not talking about minority or majority, YOU are bring this up. I never said that, but I am not going to sit here are pretend that there aren't women who don't use it as BC, regardless of how many do or not. I already said I known a few who have. Like I said, if a woman who doesn't want to have a baby yet is doing nothing to PREVENT it, gets pregnant, there is no other option but abortion. She either has the baby or DOESN'T have the baby. There is no in between.

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay " I am not going to sit here are pretend that there aren't women who don't use it as BC, regardless of how many do or not."

What's it to you if they use abortion as BC, are you paying for it? Is it your body? Why should you care? What does what they do with their own bodies have to do with you? So what if a woman has 1 abortion or 20 it's still an option for her that's legal viable and safe, as long as her doctor says so, so again, what's it to you?

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay "Also, I am NOT against abortion, but you seem to be making out that I am"

You probably didn't realize what you were implying was coming across loudly & clearly as what you actually wrote.

Example: a woman can have an abortion, but it's a drastic, it's a hassle, it's less safe, a doctor sticks something up & pulls a fetus out. all negative

If a woman uses abortion as a crutch so what? Whats it to anybody but her? It's her body, we aren't paying for it so what do we care? Why judge?

[Debsterism]

@nancydrew5 - I think those people are Christian Bible thumpers that promote that "oh a baby is a blessing" shit to girls.

[nancydrew5]

@MissNayNay " I believe that abortion should only be used when other prevention methods FAILED."

But I would be cool with my tax dollars paying for abortion. After all my tax dollars go towards women paying feed/clothe and shelter babies they can't afford to have. My tax dollars go towards paying for babies to be in foster care where they are abused and neglected and should never have been born.

So I wouldn't mind my tax dollars going towards preventing babies being born... through abortion.

[Debsterism]

@MissNayNay - You would never know what birth control she used nor would you know how her birth control was paid for, nor would you know how the abortion is paid for. No one would know anything unless she had a big mouth and said so. paying for abortion with tax dollars is less expensive than assisting a poverty stricken mother for 18 years. I vote for the abortion. $200 and its done. I don't know of any woman that uses abortion for BC but even if she does, her business.

[AintBehavinMis]

@MissNayNay "I believe that abortion should only be used when other prevention methods FAILED."

You are against abortion when you start using ‘your beliefs’ as a benchmark to restrict when ‘you think’ a woman should or shouldn’t have an abortion. That’s not your call, not your business. This type of thinking is unconstitutional and gets struck down each time this argument goes before the supreme court when some state wants to place restrictions on a woman’s access to abortion.

[AintBehavinMis]

@MissNayNay "Some women have sex with men unprotected. They don't use birth control pills, diaphragms,etc to prevent themself from pregnancy. Some throw caution to the wind, and if they get prego, use abort. as birth control."

How a woman ends up pregnant is none of your business or concern. The bottom line is, if she doesn't want the baby she has the RIGHT to end the pregnancy. You're attempting to put down women and blame them for how they got pregnant and that's not the issue here.

[AintBehavinMis]

@MissNayNay ...continued

If a woman is pregnant (for whatever reason) she does not have to spend the rest of her life paying for her mistake. She has legal access to an abortion if she chooses. It's not for anyone else to criticize & decide when she should utilize that option. This type of 'shaming tactic' by women like you is what keeps a lot of girls from seeking abortions and living with a 'mistake'. and throwing away their lives. It's THEIR decision, THEIR body, not yours.

[msnicole74]

Sister, you'd better preach.

[mxh326]

Standing ovation! Excellent commentary!

[nancydrew5]

This is so true. We should want teens and young girls to make better choices, not encourage them to struggle like other baby mama's. A teen and young girl has her whole life in front of her so by the time she's in her early 30's she should be set instead of just starting out in life.

Teens & young women should use their lives and body wisely. Anybody can be a baby mama, nothing significant or special about that, it takes no great talent. We need women who are achievers not simply breeders.

[AmericaHasToGo]

@nancydrew5 I agree. This video reminds me a bit of what Francis Cress Welsing said in the Isis Papers. She said that black people (men and women) shouldn't have kids until age 30. I definitely think people should put off having kids until at least the late 20s even if you do get married really young.

[nancydrew5]

@AmericaHasToGo "I definitely think people should put off having kids until at least the late 20s even if you do get married really young."

Agreed! People don't even begin to mature until their mid 20's. The body matures way ahead of the mind, so mentally/emotionally people aren't prepared to be mothers so young. 30 is a great age to start having kids, provided one has prepared themselves to raise/nurture and be a parent. (parents). People used die by 50 so they had kids early.

[specialbeauty]

You really speak the truth! I appreciate your videos and hope that young girls really listen to your message.

[Debsterism]

@etatslartnec Shut up and learn a new vocabulary word. If you knew anything about my work you would know that I have the right to be angry at this dumb shit. Women breeding like f*** bunny rabbits is crazy and its NOT HELPING THE CHILDREN. You are one of the typical knuckleheads that come on You Tube angry at the message so you decide to attack the messenger. IF you don't like my videos, stay your ass off my channel and the problem is solved.

[thecwexperience]

@Debsterism Sounds like a solution to me!

[TEEWEE01]

i agree with you about almost everything accept using abortion as a form of birth control over and over, because there are other options or forms of birth control not to mention not being sexually active as one option. Every woman is not ment to be a mother or good at it some are deadly terrible at it, and those types are like a virus to society not to mention can be fatal to their child that has been born better the abortion for that child. Everyone says put it up for adoption but how many -

[TEEWEE01]

add to from preveous most child preditors or alot of them weasel there way into adoption agencies not all adoptive families are good but vise versa some are great. You were right the adoption option alot of time is a fairy tail concept. Ideally being married and being well rounded couples having children is what most people want .

[AtlantaAngel84]

I agree totally with you. My mom was a single mom, I had my daughter at 18 and its hard!! I did finish college and I am currently looking for work trying to keep a roof over our heads and its hard and lonely. Its no fun and kids deserve their mom and dad. This single mom stuff needs to end! We need more women out here like you keeping it real. Black women you cannot raise children alone, its very hard and stressful!