Eli's Dirty Jokes - Episode 1 - BBQ Booty

[MrMackey012]

There was an old women who heard a song on the radio called "two lips seven kisses"

She try and calls the radio station but accidentally called a

[marcjon000]

you guys know what "up dawg" is?

[brianawesome100]

i just had surgery on my legs so my doctor said no heavy lifting... now i must sit down to take a piss

[choochinbigtime420]

horrible

[TheCALLofAwesome]

haha with all these comment jokes i imagine eli telling them.

[panconpasta1]

lmfao cheesy pervy jokes my favorite

[crazybubblegum123]

@TheVideosurfer21 wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Never mind you wont get it

[Brugar18]

son comes complaining to his mom

-mom you are getting on my nerves with your attitude

-how could you say that?*crying* honey come quick! our son is disrespecting me!

the dad comes to the room and says:

-respect you mother you son of a bitch!

[mrayquaza]

@Brugar18 lol

[freshtilldeathrocks]

@Brugar18 XD

[Mrgreen247365]

@Brugar18 wtf that aint even funny?

[Brugar18]

@Mrgreen247365 you dont get it. cmon that is an easy to get it

[jokkepokke95]

A man goes to his wife and hands her two aspirins and a glass of water.

"What's this for" she says, "I don't have a headache!"

The man replies; "Good, let's fuck!"

[pawsandtales1]

a priest and a rabbi are out at sea the prest says to the rabbi what do you do with the money that pepole donat the rabbi says i give it to pepole that need it the rabbi says.. about a secod latter the rabbi say what do you do with your money i thow it up and whatever god does not want kep it

[mikeismael12]

Steve jobs owned a pc

[zack199544]

that was stupid

[TheVideosurfer21]

shud i tell you a joke about my penis nevermind it's too long

[jokkepokke95]

@TheVideosurfer21

Wanna hear a vagina joke? Nevermind, you won't get it.

[TheVideosurfer21]

@jokkepokke95 wanna hear a joke about women never mind to you they dont exsist

[54321vlogs]

@jokkepokke95 its okay it was probably too dirty anyways :)

[jokkepokke95]

@54321vlogs

XD

[egol14]

shall i tell a joke about my dick... nevermind too long

[KuriWannaBeDJ]

Do you think i could fire up this grill just to fire up your winnie LOL

[elliot019]

This joke is stiffer than my dick in the mornings

[Lemmemakeafuckinacco]

It makes it funnier

[Timber180]

@cappew22 hey dipshit it's an elderly man speaking :P

[cappew22]

Are you drunk when you tell these jokes? I can speak better when i'm hammered..

[jokkepokke95]

A man goes into a bank, goes up to an old lady, and goes "I wanna open a fucking bank account."

She glares at him and says "you better watch your language, before I get the manager!"

He says "What, because I wanna open a fucking bank account?"

"THAT'S IT!" she says. Seconds later, the manager stands in front of him. "What seems to be the problem here, Sir?" he says.

"I wanna open a fucking bank account for 500'000-fucking-dollars!"

The manager goes "oh, then is this cunt giving you a hard time?"

[jokkepokke95]

A man brings two aspirins and a glass of water to his wife.

"What's this," the wife asks "I don't have a headache?"

The man replies; "Good, let's fuck"

[humanonthetube]

All 93 videos in a playlist...Laughed my ass off...

[TheParisgangster]

CHECK OUT OUR PRANK WITH SEXY CHICKS IN PARIS!

[EliTheBeag]

SO GLAD MY NAME IS ELI NOW

[manbearpig3575]

do u guys wana hear a joke about my cock o wait its too long lol

[IanMartinTV]

Okay, your at the first one, now. Look and see if you can stop and find a version or look alike of Eli.

[griffonpop]

o.O that was the joke??? ....... lol

[DylanBlueEagle]

wow, it sounds like he stuttered, forgot the end and put something really shit in instead xD

[DeterrentSky]

NICE LAUGHTRACK

[TheMetronome1]

he said it wrong , she asks him if he thinks shes gonna fire up this big grill but for one litte wiener

[ironmunger123]

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode!

>> minecraftcodes.info <<

[Jarod3926]

eli is the wife?

[mrironman1995]

were is ep. 2 

[comedyhernandez]

click 0:01 to skip add

[italianboy555100]

a man calls the doctor and says doctor doctor my son swallowed a condom five minuets later he calls again and says its okay i found another one :)

[PiPhiC]

So this jew, mexican, and black walk into a bar, and the bartender says "get out!"

[misticbunnyass]

If i had a dime for ever time i laughed one of Eli's. I would be rich.

[babyJesus27]

Wanna hear a racist joke? nigger.

[infectedzombieguy]

If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster you would have 2 ft of my cock in your ass

[dsaleem23]

There are two turrents, who talk to each other when one of the turrent says:

"Hey have you seen that Android in the Cafe today? What an ass on her!"

the second Turrent says

"I will insert my Floppy into her disk drive"

[boyfriendsx]

you scuk

[DizziGhoul]

An Italian, an english man and an African man walk into a bar. The barman says:

Is this a joke?

[supermidgetakabrian]

a blonde, a mayor, a priest, and boy are on a plane.

the plane is going to crash.

there are 3 parachutes.

the blonde and the mayor each grab one and jump out.

the priest says to the boy, "Son, take the last one. You have a longer life ahead."

the boy says, "what are you talking about? the blonde took my back pack!"

[Golemoid]

Jew, Gay and a Black walks into a bar, then the barman says

-GET THE FUCK OUT!

[samuelsixvids]

@Golemoid LOL

[dovemanofdoves]

I keep watching these...they're so addicting

[lix296]

Snow White, Tom Thumb and that hunch back dude are eating and then

"I'm the prettiest person in the world" says Snow White

"I'm the smallest person in the world" says Tom Thumb

"I'm the uglest person in the world" says Hunch back dude

So they go i prove that

"I'm am the prettiest person in the world!" says Snow White

"I'm am the smallest person in the world!" says Tom Thumb

"Who the hell is this Rooney guy!"

No offence Man u fans lol

[Airickk2021]

@lix296 s t u p i d . . .

there are 8500 different versions of this joke . . .

think of something ORIGINAL! !

[lix296]

@Airickk2021 oh hahaha u sooooo funny aren't oh wait sorry I've got the fucking wrong person!!!!!!!

[Airickk2021]

@lix296 apparently, you're an idiot . . .

[lix296]

@Airickk2021 no i don't think so

[Airickk2021]

@lix296 i guess ignorance really is bliss . . .

[PuniperTV]

Just watched every joke. TIME TO DO IT AGAIN!

[lcb1979]

a airplane crashed every single person died who lived

[thecoolemogirl1]

its soo funny cause its not funny XD >_<

[TheStockCarStig]

LOL Eli is the wife!!!!!

[pele6922]

Why do married men die before their wives?

They WANT to!

[T0mmyboy100]

0:51

They even record his stuttering onto the cartoon.

:D

[PaulineLovesYou1]

Crazy, Nobody and Somebody went out.

Somebody and Nobody is quarreling coz' they both wanted the same shoes. So, somebody killed nobody

Crazy : Somebody, are you crazyy?

Somebody : your Crazy!

Crazy : nvm... Crazy called the police

Crazy : police! police! Somebody killed nobody!!!

Police : Are you Crazy??????????

Crazy : yes! yes! How do u know that? your awesome at guessing !

[Brugar18]

2 friends went to gay bar to have few beers and one of them after few drinks getting angry said:

-thats it i gonna kill all the gay guys that are here...

-what did they ever done to you? asked another friend

-nothing... and im not waiting till they will do something to me

[MartythePartyhost]

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH A BIG BUTT.

[Thefireninja25ipod]

3 guys walk into a butcher shop and the butcher say if yur penises dont add up to 12 inches ill murder you. so the first guy pills down his pants and has a 6 inch the next guy has a 5 inch and the last guy has a 1 inch since the added up to 12 the buthcher let them go. later on outside the 1st guy says, yu guys are lucky i had a 6 inch the next guy says yu guys are luck i had a 5 inch and the last guy says yu guys are luck i had a boner!

[RedSquadala5]

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. YES is the answer

[talabastardo]

@RedSquadala5 lol that's the oldest joke evah!! :) 

[xoBeebit97xo]

you people ruin the fun with chain letter comments. it's stupid.

[AshwinJoaquimDias]

@119sunn thats what I told my gf after which she said, "do you want to know a joke about my vagina?? sorry you'll never get it!!!" :P

[superzaroos]

@vannahthebanana man you did kinda fucked up my day like that.

[funkybanana1337]

Aw cmon people stop ruining our fun by starting chain letters it's just words. We just want to watch videos in peace.

[Kimmeriey69]

@119sunn Shall I tell you a joke about my Vagina....Nevermind,You'll never get it.

[234Ayla]

lol i get it

[NiteRida96]

@119sunn girl:shall i tell you a joke about my vagina.......dont worry u wont get it

[domeniquebelle]

@119sunn lemme tell u a joke about my vagina...wait its useless ull never get it;P

[stanelessfry]

Wut

[Dynoste]

is the delivery the joke itself?

[diegamos]

That was stupid

[gleemilo123]

@119sunn Hahha shall I tell you a joke about my vagina, or don't worry you won't get it :P

[co0ki3m0nsterR]

shall i tell you the joke about my vagina... never mine you wont get it.

[TheCHAMP1098]

Fucking stupid

[calvilloo231]

That was funny

[Th3AwesomeSpy]

@119sunn shall i tell you a joke about a vagina? nevermind u wont get it

[TurtleBlastingOG]

A plane suddenly started to loose altitude, as it was out of fuel. A young woman stands up, takes off her clothes and shouts, "Who can make me feel like a woman before I die!" Then a man gets up, without missing a beat, takes of his shirt and says, " here, iron this."

[TiGraffi]

@TurtleBlastingOG

hahahahahahahahahahahah

shit that one IS awesome xD

[TrueNomadSkies]

@TurtleBlastingOG Hahaha, that's great.

[KantoRed]

@TurtleBlastingOG you go

t that from a website

[TurtleBlastingOG]

@KantoRed I mean Im not a comedian or anything so of course I got it from a website

[TheCutebarbieslover]

@TurtleBlastingOG good one :-)

[TheGuitarkid15]

@TurtleBlastingOG SHIT I thumbs downed, fuck fuck fuck fuck, that was really a funny joke.

[TurtleBlastingOG]

@TheGuitarkid15 lawls, its ok XDDD

[MBS786]

@TurtleBlastingOG lol

[thaqalain10]

@TurtleBlastingOG hahaha nice 1 :P

[laxrat25]

@TurtleBlastingOG no its....."the kitchen is back there....you can ask the stewardess where the bread, meat, and the rest are"

[cameronukz]

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job

[Cashmoe009]

@119sunn shall i tellyou the joke about my virgina.....forget it you'll never get it

[leifsicool]

if you look hard you can see that there is always someone who looks just like Eli in every episode.

[hackg33k]

@alan503ify I hope you die, because re-posting should dissappear from the face of earth ._.

[SleepyReaper75]

Guy #1:Wanna hear a joke

Guy#2:Sure

Guy#1:Pussy.

Guy#2:I dont get it

Guy#1: I know you dont

[TurtleBlastingOG]

@SleepyReaper75 lol good one :')

[colin22hockey]

did i miss somthing?

[xxrebel2uxx]

V badly delivered. Not even funny

[BlueBat101]

@xxrebel2uxx let's see you try. You don't have a sense of humor, do you?

[TheVideoguyz]

3 guys are in a cafe,

one says: I've got the smallest arm of the world!

another says: I've got the smallest head of the world!

last one says: I've got the smallest dick of the world!

The 3 guys go to Guinness World Records.

First one goes first and returns happy: I've really got the smallest arm in the world!

Second returns happy too: I've really got the smallest head of the world!

The last one returns angry and screams: WHO THE HECK IS JUSTIN BIEBER

[PunkLyricsTV]

@TheVideoguyz AMEN



[alldaylongful]

@TheVideoguyz This joke is so fcking old it was only funny the first time -.-

[shaylazza]

@TheVideoguyz omgosh thats amazing lol

[TheVideoguyz]

@shaylazza thank you

[coheed0211]

@TheVideoguyz

wow good one NOT

[cinereyes]

@TheVideoguyz best one ive read so far

[TheVideoguyz]

@cinereyes thank you



[Drbarrelroll369]

@TheVideoguyz oh i didnt hear that one before

[phongvo9989]

@TheVideoguyz my friends are interested in this joke as well.

[namdar23]

@TheVideoguyz it doesn't make sense justin bieber doesn't have a penis haha jk good joke

[marbooney]

@TheVideoguyz that.. is pure epic..

[Crazyjrocksteehee]

@119sunn shall i tell u the joke about my va****? forget it ull never get it!

[leannnnne2cool]

@119sunn shall i tell you the joke about my vagina?.........forget it you'll never get it

[farfrompuken5]

@119sunn i guess i should tell you a joke about my vagina, oops sorry ud never get it XD

[ShAdOwPuNk1995]

wtfrek was that? that was the worst joke i have ever heard

[123decoeli]

that was funny?

[Checker613]

Who wants a wife that looks like Eli?

[ThousandMilesAway13]

@119sunn I'll tell you a joke about my pussy.....oh never mind you will never get it!

[dotamaster1994]

@119sunn hahahaha

[sprudrats]

lol

[fiskenen]

@119sunn Maybe i should tell you one about my vagina ... forget it, you wont get it anyways

[WWEfandylan]

@fiskenen HOLY SHIT!!!! LOL

[PyroSirBrad]

@119sunn Long story short he lost his Penis Enlarger

[0wolfplayer0]

@119sunn XD

[PBMaster88]

I dont get it lol

[IT0KATE]

Wanna hear the joke about my vagina? Oh wait, you'll never get it. ;)

[Geertass]

You mean, Eli almost got barbecued by his husband

[77TAZ77]

Guy : should i tell you a story about my penis ..... forget it to long!!! ;D

Girl: should i tell you a story about my vagina ..... Nevermind , you will never get it!! ; ))

[turtle9nine]

so this guy and his wife Wendy are on vacation in Jamaica. The guys goes up to a bar naked and tells the bartender, "hey, my penis is so long, i tattooed my wife's entire name on it" The bartender is also naked and the guy notices that his penis is tattooed "Wendy" so he asks "hey, your wife's name is wendy too?" the bartender replies "no, it says, welcome to jamaica, have a nice day"

[XMike578]

@eeekatank that would be about an inch...

[MasterSemon]

LOLZZZzz

[MrDrzoidberg1]

@eeekatank YOUR A FAIL A KEYBOARD GOES FROM A-G RETTARD

[eeekatank]

my penis is so long if you stretched it on a keyboard it would go from A-Z, you jealous?

[lbpeppers]

@eeekatank have u seen where r A and Z keys? lol... less than an inch...

[rovennaa]

Was that not funny? Or is my sense of humor just deteriorating? I'm so confused

[mimikawaii7386]

@rovennaa Agree. Also found this kinda dry.

[MrTaconacho123]

@119sunn ;)

[YiiJun]

1576 Weenie here

[MrTaconacho123]

@119sunn Wana hear a joke about my girls pussy? Never mind you'll never get it.

[ihatepink4everzz]

lmao

[gabrielwilliams123]

eli and the wife have the same face

[MrNinja290]

@119sunn lmao lmao

[mrsblahblah92]

@119sunn shall i tell u a joke about my vigina?..............never mind ull never get it!

[jakethesnake2k8]

@mrsblahblah92 oh he will, eventually, he will!

[Rockbandmaster808]

Eli is the wife.

[nelsonzepeda666]

joke is good but wasent told right

[caseyglunt]

If a girl doesnt have a face she cant see to kill u lol losers