Do Parents Cause Eating Disorders? The experts speak.

[popinfresh]

Its true that parents are not the only factor in why a person develops an ed, but sometimes they really are the major contributing factor. My mom got me into modeling at 16,and she's told me all my life to stay away from eating for the sake of pleasure. "just eat enough so you're not hungry, but dont let yourself get full" thats her motto. She would take my plate away from me saying that I've eaten enough. She made me feel weak for not being able to control my appetite well enough. If that's no

[mycar12345ify]

This video just shows you how WRONG so called experts can be. They cannot say parents don't cause it, OF COURSE they do some of the time. It would be just silly and stupid to say otherwise. DOH!!

Maybe these 'experts' are narcissists themselves

[mycar12345ify]

I'm not surprised these 'experts' say parents don't cause it. If they blamed the Narcissistic parents they wouldn't make any money. Narcs will not take the blame for anything, they would just take the child to someone else who 'sucked up to them'.

[mycar12345ify]

Narcissistic parents are often the cause of anorexia. The abuse is covert & subtle. These parents can appear very plausible, and oh so 'CONCERNED' (they do love a drama) Narc parents use, control, gaslight, invalidate oh boy, do they invalidate! rewrite history to suit themselves. They do not love, they use. The child's lost of 'self' of individuality causes anxiety. A need to be in control of 'something' in their life can lead to anorexia. Food is the only thing in their life can control.

[candycoatedpoison]

I don't think parents are completely at fault. But they do play a major role in my opinion/experience. My stepmother called me fat when I was 16. I was 5'10 and 120lbs at the time... as if losing my mother to cancer wasn't bad enough, my stepmother calling me fat was pretty much the icing on the cake for me.

[FadingHippie]

I don't think it's fair to put entire blame on any one factor.

In any case I truly believe that parents are a HUGE factor in recovery --- support is critical and why shouldn't that support come from home from family?

[mycar12345ify]

@FadingHippie I know several anorexics each one has problems at home. Why would parents that caused a mental disorder in the first place through their incompetence, be any help? The truth is they are dysfunctional and can often, albeit unwittingly exasperate the situation.

Getting away from the parents can often be a better solution.

[FadingHippie]

@mycar12345ify Sometimes, but not always. For a lot of people FEAST has work. Just as one size does not fit all and one weight does not fit all - one type of treatment does not fit all. I FULLY agree the Maudsley approach would be detrimental for some patients (maybe even a lot of patients), but it should NOT be ruled out for everyone.

I also truly do NOT believe that parents cause eating disorders. Can they be a large factor in the development? Yes. But solely cause? I am sure a lot of people

[FadingHippie]

@mycar12345ify would say that my parents caused my own disorder(s), however, they weren't the sole cause.

in any case at the end of the day blame gets you no where. It won't make a person healthier to blame their parents. It won't leave them without an eating disorder. Finding an individualized treatment plan for a person does help though.

[mycar12345ify]

@FadingHippie it might make a person happier to blame the parents, if it was the parents fault. Blame does get you somewhere, hiding from the truth does not help, and can lead to blaming yourself for something that's not your fault.

I can only speak as I find and as I've said the anorexics I know did not have good home lives. One had been in care, one had been thrown out by her mother and one had a narcissistic mother.

[FadingHippie]

@mycar12345ify You speak from an outside perspective, I speak firsthand. Not everyone with aids got them from homosexual activities. Not everyone with an e.d. developed it as a result of poor parenting.

You ignored my remarks that family based treatment WILL work for some. I even said it wouldn't be for everyone. Some though? Yes. When you lump a whole group of people together you marginalize them and care suffers. Individualized treatment acknowledging that people have different needs

[mycar12345ify]

@FadingHippie  It is true not everyone with aids got it from homosexual activities, but most did. If family based treatment has worked for you that is great news.

These experts on this video are talking rubbish. They cannot say parents do not cause it. They don't know. Parents do cause it in many cases IMO most cases.

People do have different needs that's my point, some might benefit as you have from family treatment, but for others they need to get away from their c##p family.

[mycar12345ify]

@FadingHippie I know several anorexics each one has problems at home. Why would parents that caused a mental disorder in the first place through their incompetence, be any help? The truth is they are dysfunctional and can often, albeit unwittingly exasperate the situation.

Getting away from the parents can often be a better solution. Most of the anorexics on this forum say their parents caused or played a large part of causing it. So there's your proof.

[CutizGurl]

my parents caused mine.

Well, not the whole reason, but they did play a HUGE factor, so this is not true.

[LethalLynwood]

i think it depends on the person and their parents and their childhood.

[Gumbymcc]

My friend's father called her obese from a very young age. She has never been overweight. Her father is obsessed with weight and is very controlling. Now she starves herself. I do put some of the blame on him.

[010depression]

my mum called me fatty, i have been making myself sick for for 6 years and not eating lunch since i was about 6 aswell as i now self harm, laxtaive abuse amongst other stuff. i cant be bothered anymore with life :'(

[miarecoveryhelp]

I don't believe ALL parents cause eating disorders, but i DO believe they are the contributing factor, ultimately the cause in some cases. I know im probably going to get many thumbs down for that, but being a sufferer, it's what i truly believe..

[keira666]

There are multiple reasons behind eating disorders, a lot of the time it's a coping mechanism, it's about feeling like they have control over something in there life when they feel like they have no control over anything else. Yeah, it can be all about food, dieting gone too far, but most of the time there is more to it then that

[prettysailorusagi]

AMEN. There is no just "ONE FACTOR" behind the mental illness of an eating disorder. It's not just about the parents. Thank you for this video.

[satenkitti]

:)people choose in the begining, and they need to be taught how to love.

if they dont get that love it can kill.

But alot of people are attention starveing selfish people..sadly.and YOU CAN NOT BLAME ANYONE FOR WHAT YOU ARE cause you fucking opened up an you allowed it now, you know better, so stop blaming get over it. a million people have bad parents an dont do that shit. :] im not heartless i had a eating disorder an i conquered it. so boo:] those of u who disagree will get it 1day

[PinkLemon912]

i honestly do think that my parents did cause my eating disorder and it is there fault- because they teach you everything you know and they don't care enough to stop it. It is hard to explian but when parents divorce eating disorders are the only way out.

[satenkitti]

you can choose what you are, and you can choose how you feel.

[misstiggykins]

There are many triggers for eating disorders (usually a combination) which may or may not involve parents. My therapist summed it up well by suggesting that eating disorders provide a way of dealing with unbearable anxiety and a world that feels chaotic. Focusing on controlling one's body deflects your focus away from the pressures of life. Eating disorders also regulate emotions. In people vulnerable to eating disorders weight loss can trigger neurological changes that sustain the illness.

[gohiontach3]

i think they play a small part, there are many factors, they dnt cause disorders, but they can be a factor

[perfect1daysoon]

i think it depends, if a child comes from a home with issues in eating or weight they can very well develop eating disorders soley based on that.

[angelmm0303]

i think there should be a bigger understanding that when they say parents don't cause eating disorders, they mean non-abusive, supportive, and non-authoritarian styled parents are not behind it. However, abusive parents do cause children to develop unhealthy associations with food and that abuse or pressure can contribute significantly to a childs eating habits and help explain why they have maladaptive eating issues. I think there are a number of causes but to generalize on one cause is wrong.

[eggy65]

I agree with the fact that families don't cause ED's, but they don't always help it. People are to concentrated on ED's and wieght but we all have to find a way to be content with ourselves and not care what others think and ya I know it's hard I'm anorexic too, but honestly I don't think its a bad thing anymore because ya it can apparently kill you but come on it's a life choice and if people want to live that way let them.

[snuffiegonemad]

no causal link of course. but writing EDs off as biologically based brain disorders is crap. like depression, there's a social-physical feedback loop, seldom a solely physical 'cause.' i grew up in an abusive home & ate from anxiety. i got pudgy &my family started calling me fat(I had normal BMI). did my family 'cause' my ED? 'cause' isn't the right word. but maybe if the abusive sob didn't destroy our lives &dirty my body, if my mom left him, if no one called me fat, food wouldn't be an enemy.

[snuffiegonemad]

& to clarify this: EDs are often a poor coping mechanism. what is the person coping with? often a shitty family life, abuse, rape, bullying, getting told they aren't good enough, pressure, etc. i understand your point, and some people are just 'brain sick'. but families need to look at themselves too.

[juniperpenny]

You can say miserable things to me, whatever you like. But if you think that parents cannot be the main cause of a child's eating disorder, you only risk ignoring factors which desperately need to be addressed in order to turn on to the path of recovery. This said, I very much agree with the idea presented here that parents need to be seen as part of the solution. However, a problem involving parents can't be fixed if we all think parents have had no role in creating a child's problem.

[juniperpenny]

I guarantee you all, without a shadow of a doubt, that my parents were the main and predominant cause, far outweighing all others, of my eating disorder. I have had years after recovery to look back and find any other answers. I have been in University studying psychology for over 6 years now, I am not a dull little teenager who is mad at her parents. I have completely forgiven them. The truth remains the truth, however.

[dianedeitz]

Great job. Kudos to you for seeking to debunk a common myth surrounding eating disorders. The medical world has perpetuated a tendency to blame the victims for far too long. It is high time that we hear a more balanced perspective - and you have done a terrific job with this.

[coastal87]

good vid. personally I think that while in some cases the parents are not wholly responsible or responsible at all, they may still be a contributing factor. I dont think that that whole blame can ever be placed on the parents for the most part though