Video Blog - Cultural Difference

[MsCha1001]

You're culture is almost same as mine. I'm a filipina but I study here in Spain. Spanish peoples are more rude than Americans, just saying.=)

[killwhitey88d]

can i get yo number

[XxxSakura101]

Thats a pretty good assessment especially the 'greet and move', but some of the things i consider rude here too..but some people still do it xD

[Justwannarock]

hey dandorf...did you experience any cultural shocks or differences when you started dating your husband? Just curious because i was raised here in America but my boyfriend was also raised in Jakarta and sometimes we have some trouble hehe ^^

[applegirlz]

I'm chinese and i must say growing up with my culture it was somewhat weird. the one thing i disliked having in my culture was how pushy everyone in my family was. i'm not saying all chinese ppl are like this (if anything i think it varies from place to place). like for example if i said i didn't want something or didn't want to eat so and so my parents would still say things like, 'you're too skinny. eat more meat.' of course i'd listen grudgingly and use my chopsticks to grab some meat.

[applegirlz]

but then they'd get on my case again when i haven't even grabbed the meat either one of them would say, 'also eat more vegetables.' my dad is the one who is more prone to doing this, and not asking me if i want to eat this or that but TELLING me i should eat it even if i don't want to. at times i felt like he was ignoring my feelings and acting as if i was not entitled ot my own opinion and speech. it really hurt my feelings. i guess i can't blame him too much b/c his mom raised him that way too

[applegirlz]

i'm already quite used to my parents behaving this way but since i've gotten older they've become more low key and i have more will power to rebuff their tactics on me. unlike my extended family of relatives. just get me, them and my parents at a food table together and they'll make a big fuss about what i ate and what i didn't eat. it's damn irritating. like they have to ask me if i already ate this or that and push me to eat and i'm sitting there thinking like, can they just leave me alone???

[applegirlz]

i know it's their culture but it's certainly not a part of my culture i want to pass onto any future generations in my family. i don't think i need to feel so constricted when i'm around relatives -- if anything the way they seem to "patrol" me about my eating habits is suffocating and awkward. why should they feel the need to do that? oh, yeah, sure, they do it with well and good intentions but the way i see it they are being invasive and making a big deal about something that's not that big

[applegirlz]

of a deal ...

and i just hate how fake my culture can be sometimes. even my dad admits some things people say are just for politeness in person but behind their backs everyone is saying other things. my culture dislikes people who are greedy and selfish and therefore courtesy and humbleness are valued. like when someone gives you money or a something expensive as a thank-you present in my culture the receiver of the present always behaves reluctant and passive about the gift and insisting

[applegirlz]

the other person to take back the item and saying something like, 'oh, no, it's alright, i don't need something like this.' and the more the giver of the item insists he/she take it the more the receiver pushes the item away. it's a ridiculous scene. once in a chinese dim sum restaurant in chinatown i dined in once i saw an eldery woman and her daugher fighting over who would pay the bill. the daughter went to the ubermost lengths to keep her mom from paying which included physically holding her

[applegirlz]

back and trying to pry her wallet away from her mom's hands. i was sitting there, like, what the heck is going on?? in fact i was the only one in the restaurant staring. the daughter was obviously making a scene and a loud racket but everyone else was not paying attention. not even a bat of an eyelash in her direction (as if it were such a common scene to see).

i remember once i felt the biggest backlash from some of my family. i was in the awkward stage of my life (mid puberty ..ugh) and

[applegirlz]

was extremely self conscious about my body and my style of clothes and how other people perceived me. i didn't know what my family really thought of me until one of my close cousins said i looked like i lost weight. and i was like, really? i don't think so. and then she went on to say last time she saw me everyone was saying how fat i got (and she went on to list names of ppl). i was shocked . i had no knowledge of that until she told me (which obviously meant everyone was saying it when i was

[applegirlz]

not around. i would have rather someone say it to my face than behind my back b/c then i can reject that person's claims of my "fatness" when i know i didn't get fat. but when ppl talk behind my back it really causes self doubt in myself.

i could go on to say other things i don't like about my culture. it's really disappointing how bad my culture can be at some parts. keep in mind though this was all my experiences meaning i wasn't referring to ALL chinese ppl are like this.

[applegirlz]

i'd say the only thing i really like about my culture is the language. I speak mandarin chinese. in the end with the good and bad i am still chinese and i can't turn my back on who i am. no one said i had to know chinese though. my parents could have easily dragged me to chinese school but i'm glad i came to this language on my own than by other means.

[thandjoenk]

mbak di amrik sono ngapain...?

berhubung pada gak ngerti bahasa indonesia, klo bisa yg di ceritain yg bagus2 aja ya, kan biar ancur2 gini, tetep lah negeri kita tercinta hahaha

soalnya, ternyata banyak juga tuh bule yg tertarik sama indonesia...i wonder why

[brattzzzzz]

scary

[kittyprydekissme]

Will you be doing more videos like this one?

Which island are you from? Indonesia is a very large and diverse country, and I would imagine that customs can very quite a bit (especially in Irian Jaya).

[thandjoenk]

these day...we name it Papua, not Irian Jaya

[darwincollins]

Guest/Host:

1. Do not over analyze the situation.

2. Do not be defensive or thin skinned.

3. Do not be critical/negative.

Finally, even if you think you understand a culture fully, do not expect that your guest/host has the same understanding.

[hydejing]

does anyone has the video regarding to the japanese bow head and westerns people shake hand video ?? pls tell me cheers it is also about culture difference

[mu86neer]

the eastern people do NEVER shake hands unlike arab , american german and canadians..

forexample in malaysia,, they feel suspicious when u ask them such a thing..!!!

don't worry u will get used to it..:)

[ultramonster]

have you been talking the whole time?

shit you're hot

[MiasmaMoon]

Hmm, the Indonesia culture sounds a lot like the Vietnamese (and apparently, the Filipino as well) culture. I'm Chinese, and the cooks don't mind if you give them criticism, but the Vietnamese just blow up if you say anything bad about their food.

Oh yeah. In the Vietnamese culture, you also have to say something before you eat, but it literally means "invite" or "I invite you to eat". Also, the oldest members have to eat first (usually, grandparents first, then father, etc.).

[Alex1Reyes]

Hello dandorf :)

Well I'm doing a school project on cultural differences concentrating on non-verbal communication and more specifically "touch" So I was wondering if you can help me out and explain how indonesians display affection publicly (compared to U.S.). I don't mean just romantically, I also mean like friendly and family touch.

[diuryl]

well, sound a lot like my african culture.

[miked2005]

shes kinda hott

[KilIndo000]

shut up fucking indo bitch

[lupinPL]

....welll my brother indonesia... is very good person i call him brother we play in casino together..and lost bunch and bunch of euros...and got broke..i like indonesians..although i came from philippines hehehehe...

[paspalax]

well whats you say its true, thats whats make the indonesia culture its interesting,pollite maner its how the life of the island people,life togethere with peace and harmoni

[Justwannarock]

hahaha omg thank you for this video. im laughing soo hard because all this stuff is sooo true. i live in a very indonesian populated area so they are like my family.

you dont know how many times they say " wow you look really really pale today, go get sleep" hahaha i use to think it was rude. now i know better :)

[tokyostory]

i'm impressed. great insight. i'm a japanese and now living in los angeles. i felt the exactly the same things when i came here. also u still seem to retain some great asian custom which many young japanese girls forgot and lost. that's a shame. you remind me how japanese used to be, and it's wonderful. Terima Kasih!

[MisplacedHope]

I think your words are beautiful and removing the shoes before entering someones house to me in my opinion is a respectful gesture to leave the dirt off your shoes at the door if only people could do this with negative emotions also!

[waymond29]

Killndo000 your a freaking oxygen thief do the world a favor and stop breathing .People like you are the reason we have birth control . I bet you dodged a coat hanger for nine months you worthless excuse for human exsitance .

[Aronmetalrifflatham]

Hey, your pretty good at being a

(ingnorant jackass)  LOL

its ok.. your not the only one.. there's also

AMERICA!!!!

[PeekerChu]

shut your mouth bitch stop talkin shit

[PIMPshef]

Ahhahaha! No! Most of them don't ask you at all! You just go in their house, to visit and no one asks if you wanna drink or eat! What are u talking about! Their answer is "Oh, if you have the privilage to be in my house you mig as well search for something to drink" etc....that's what happend to me, with my husband....:))

[blackpimp4u]

Hmmm. I don't remember seeing you in the catalog.

[falanahy]

koti ana ?

[kenshin9393]

the elder needs to reach the food b4 u serving urself ? does it works the same for drinks ?

[Amiga3000]

Welcome to America

[16december]

so basically be very very polite :)...nice Aimee...ow, and nice to meet u^^

[breagadoir]

Very interesting and informative, thanks for this video. I'm European and I hate it when people walk into my apartment with their shoes on, but I can't say anything otherwise people will think I'm weird and need help. Yet I always take my shoes off when I go into other people's carpeted rooms.

[deannausernametaken]

Do you live in Europe? In the US, all kinds of people feel differently about the shoes. It's something we can all pretty much pick up on. If the people who live there take their shoes off, I do too.

I've also hear people kindly ask me (when I was younger) and others, or they suggest, "Oh, you can leave your shoes here," or "Go ahead and put your shoes here."

[breagadoir]

Yes I live in Europe and strangely the colder and wetter (and therefore the more dirt you can potentially bring into the house)the country is the more likely they are to leave their shoes on. In southern European countries where it's hot and dry (and so cleaner) they tend to take them off more. As you Yanks would say : 'Go figure'.

[lanangejagat]

that's very cute and certainly informative video! salam kenal from tokyo

[m4rs12]

Hai apa kabar ?

[dandorf]

baik baik :)

[m4rs12]

udah lama tinggal di USA??

[dandorf]

dari taon 1999 (july 99 tepatnya). :) emang kamu dimana?

[kittykattykoo]

About the eating part, that's what we call courtesy. And yeah that so true! I think that kinda thing only happens in our culture.

[thedailyenglishshow]

That's interesting what you said about openly talking about body weight etc. In Japan it sounds the same as Indonesia. I have been in Japan for more than 5 years so I am used to it now. And when I went back to New Zealand and people didn't say anything I thought it was really weird!!! Like they were not being honest... just thinking oh they are fatter/thinner but not saying anything.

Cultural differences are interesting... thanks for sharing your thoughts in this video.

[thedailyenglishshow]

I went to Bali last year and loved it so I was interested to hear more about Indonesian culture.

[dandorf]

yeah I should making those again... I haven't even catch up with my indonesian 101 blog either :(. So many things to do so little time.. :( BUT I will try to make more ok.. :)

[deannausernametaken]

Tell me about it! About five years ago, I visited a former worksite, and this man (mind you, a man) pointed out to me that I'd gained weight, and I was much more beautiful before. He also tried to guess my weight! It's not uncommon of foreign men living in Calofornia. In many ways, I expect Asian (I am including Middle EasterN) men to be more reserveed about a woman's body, but... I can't figure out the rules! lol

[countrygent32084]

omg thank you so much i was about to go meet an indonesian girl i like and meet her family tommorow. thank you i would have blown it otherwise

[dandorf]

good for you! :) let me know how it went! :)

[nonoctave]

Part III)

Your heritage is interesting. Are there lots of Chinese/Indonesian couples on Java? Is it more in the metropolitan areas? Many scholars believe that a lot of Javanese culture comes from China, connecting around 3000BC or so. In particular, gamelan design is found in most ancient times in China. However, I personally find that Pelog likely came from China via the Chinese culture on Okinawa, because the ancient Okinawan tunings are the only ancient tunings that are similar to Pelog.

[dandorf]

I think there are alot in Jakarta... everything you can find in Jakarta :) hehehehe. Interesting facts.. thanks nonoctave.

[nonoctave]

Part II)

When I was in Jakarta in 1979, it was pretty dirty, the harbor especially had lots of raw sewage floating around. We even scored a pretty funny tourist pamphlet that had a picture of the harbor and in the foreground you could plainly see some toilet stuff floating about. I have always wondered if it's gotten cleaned up since then.

[dandorf]

hahahahahahaha no way jakarta ill ever be clean :P heheheheh it's still dirty! :)

[nonoctave]

Part I)

Interesting vlog, I enjoyed it. I always take my shoes off indoors. Wearing outdoors shoes inside is just gross! People spit on the sidewalks and there is dog poop and all kinds of stuff out there. In rural areas you might have cow manure and mud as well, but people will still just walk right in with their shoes on. Yuck.

[Generalrecall]

I think the whole taking off the shoes thing is just from the olden days when sidewalks and paved roads did not exist and you would get muddy shoes, my shoes are always dirt free.

[dandorf]

yeah maybe... :) that make sense...

[Rodimus2733]

hehe... well that's what I meant, too! :) My brother did not like being called fat in vzla!

[dandorf]

who does like being call fatty :P except for my cat maybe.. :) heheheheh

[Rodimus2733]

Not only is it not polite to walk with shoes in the house it's not hygenic! I had a Pakistani friend whose house I visited way back when I was in middle school and I had to take off my shoes. My family does that now, too.

And about criticizing the weight, it's the same way in Venezuela. Being fat is a sign of being healthy.

Thanks for the v-blog, very interesting!

[dandorf]

hahaha yeah... fat = healthy.. :) I like that idea :P hehehe.... skinny means.. you're poor and don't have enough food to eat :P heheheheh

[bostonbrawler]

wow thats really a good point about saying hey whats up!

[xav3x]

i wonder if americans care if we are barefeet.. lol..

[dandorf]

wel they actually mind.. they kept on telling me to put my sandals on.. but my boss said "if she's comfortable that way let her be :P" hehehehhehe I WON!!!

[xav3x]

yea i can't walk on carpet with shoes

[dandorf]

yeah.. well until now I still barefeet in my office :P hauhauahuahuah

[Rootbeerjunkie]

Very interesting. I love learning about differences between cultures. Most of my family lives in South America, and their lifestyles are very different from ours. Even though I was born in Canada (or "America" as they say), I still don't wear my shoes in the house. It makes me feel like they're making a mess in my house. XD Anyway, thanks for sharing!

[dandorf]

hahaha thanks for sharing.. interesting huh :)

[exchoicefree]

interesting topic...i especially can relate to the shoes issue...it's one of my pet-peeves. don't understand how some americans can jez walk on their carpet with shoes on or lie on their bed...soo kotorr!! hehe..."tante tidur dulu ya...selamat malam!" :)

[dandorf]

o m g.. tante.. wowww :P heheheheh yeah I still can't do that... i mean seriously... I still do have some problem with my husband just walk to the kitchen with the shoes on.. he's been with me for 3+ years! and still with the shoes... :(

[RootsRadish]

I think that is a custom in Asian cultures in general... In Hawaii, most local people practice this.

[gogololichan]

I relate to what you're saying about Indonesian culture, because it's a lot like the Filipino culture. Your husband is white American, right? Has he adopted some of your cultural norms? My fiance is starting to get used to the Filipina/Cuban blend over here. ;)

[dandorf]

hahaa yeah.. he's learning.. he met my mom twice already so he knows better know.. but the big challenge is coming up.. he will come with me to Indonesia soon!! :) for the very first time :)

[draca007]

btw i ve just seen Dandorf's pics in myspace, n i grinned as i saw the pic "MARRY ME" covered with snow. How romantic an interracial relationship could be!(especially during winter/x'mas time).Well, i'm just wonderin' what'd have happened w/ her if under that "MARRY ME" snow-handwriting, there had been another "romantic" words e.g. "WHY YOU",so now in summer time,as every ice in the world get melted, she could read'em better', n together it would be ... :-P

[dandorf]

hauhauahua that's a good thought... it must be hard tho.. he told me when he made that 'marry me' on the back yard that took forever.. :P

[FreeWingz]

That was really interesting. I always learn new things when I watch your videos:)

[draca007]

thnx. That was wonderful!

[UKLukeEU]

Very intresting blog Dorf =3

[dandorf]

huahauhauahu dorf :P heheheh call me destri!!!!