"So whats it like to die do you see a wight light... If your dumb enough to watch the explosion Yes... No I mean when some people die they say they see a wight light, what did you see?... I saw flying car parts... What was the last thing that went through your mind?... My ass...
"Can you hear me now... Kusch!" "At first I thought it was because I went over my minutes... Thats to bad... It's ok I took the verizon bastard with me."
Achmed:No! no,no, i wud not kill the jews....i wud throw a penny in, and watch them fight to the death!.....i did the same thing with two Catholic Preits, but instead i tossed in a small boy!...haha! XD
DONT READ THIS CAUSE IT REALLY WORKS,YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOU"RE LIFE,TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE,HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO OVER 3 VIDEOS OR YOU WILL DIE WITHIN 2 DAYS,NOW YOU STARTED READING DONT STOP,THIS IS SO SCARY POST THIS TO OVER FIVE VIDEOS IN 143 MINUTES WHEN YOUR"RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS,THIS IS SO SCARY BUT IT REALLY WORKS
Forget the ventriloquism. Dunham's ability to manipulate the puppet is fantastic! VERY subtle. Burn a doobie and watch it with the sound off. Makes them almost REAL and believable. LOL!
i luv this! he is so funny and he looks like me teacher like no joke they look alot alike! LOL HILARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
" I set the timer for 30 minutes but it went off in 4 seconds. You know what that's like, right ? .... Mr. Hurricane " LOL !! That one had me rolling on the floor !!
@Church96 the one witht he premature bomb is just achmed telling a joke...the actual thing happened to him was the one with the cellphone..if I am not mistaken ;p
what's you're speciality? ohh i'm a suicide bomber. ahh so you're finished. What? you're done. no i havent. but you're death. no i'm not. i feel fine. but you're all bone. it's a flesh wound. ROFL
there is absolutely no point in your comment. this was recorded ages ago and it was posted on here 2 years ago, christ, mj still had his own nose back then
@sodaandjuice123 Lindsay Lohan was Aneroxic (Or something along those lines) when this was filmed. So all bone. Achmed is a skeleton (Sorry for bad spelling. I'm half asleep.)
DONT READ THIS Cause It Really Works. YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 VIDEOS YOU WILL DIE WITHIN 2 DAYS. NOW UV STARTED READIN DIS DUNT STOP THIS IS SO SCARY. SEND THIS OVER TO 5 VIDEOS IN 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS. THIS IS SO SCARY Cuz IT ACTUALLY WORKS THIS reaLLY WORKS
DONT READ THIS Cause It Really Works. YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 VIDEOS YOU WILL DIE WITHIN 2 DAYS. NOW UV STARTED READIN DIS DUNT STOP THIS IS SO SCARY. SEND THIS OVER TO 5 VIDEOS IN 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS. THIS IS SO SCARY Cuz IT ACTUALLY WORKS THIS reaLLY WORKS
Funny how achmed din't remember telling Jeff that with AJ on camera
MrSupertrollolol 1 month ago
CRAPY
ARTEY545E 1 month ago
are you my virgin i hope not
TheDrock900 2 months ago
lets see... A...C..felm..lol
nyxhighpreistess 4 months ago
"So whats it like to die do you see a wight light... If your dumb enough to watch the explosion Yes... No I mean when some people die they say they see a wight light, what did you see?... I saw flying car parts... What was the last thing that went through your mind?... My ass...
TheTruthInComedy 4 months ago
"Can you hear me now... Kusch!" "At first I thought it was because I went over my minutes... Thats to bad... It's ok I took the verizon bastard with me."
TheTruthInComedy 4 months ago
"SILENCE... I keel you."
TheTruthInComedy 4 months ago
"God Damnit... err.. I mean... Allah Damnit..."
Stepho144 5 months ago
Ellooooo, I am Lindsey Lohan!
babyblueeyes0193 5 months ago 2
"But you're all bone" "It's a flesh wound"
lmmaaooo
jwaringdot 6 months ago
so two jews walkin bar stop stop what u dont let jews in ur bar ohh u racist basterd hahah that funny
hawkeyes7451 6 months ago
7:41-8:03
Hillarious!
brianna7921 7 months ago
Jeff-"So look as a Suicide Bomber have you had training."
Achmed-"Of course. We had the Suicide Bomber Training Camp."
Jeff-"Ah. So is that a nice facility?"
Achmed-"It used to be."
Jeff-"What happened?"
Achmed-"New Guy. The idiot tried to practice."
Jeff-"And what did you guys learn from that?"
Achmed-"Location Location Location."
LOL
brianna7921 7 months ago
can anyone tell me who is Lindsay Lohan! plzz
methesoul9 7 months ago
A...C...Flem...
XD
leegraham2302 8 months ago
omg do u ppl have to repeat what he said? we heard him
Summer9876 8 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
i did the same thing with two Catholic Preits, but instead i tossed in a small boy! lmao
MrCcragg27 8 months ago
Its a flesh wound...
senseichub 9 months ago
3:24 - 4:01 best part of the entire show
lhf1211bacon 9 months ago
@lhf1211bacon
Actually I would say 4:01-the rest of the video
Funny as hell
brianna7921 7 months ago
XD....
Achmed:No! no,no, i wud not kill the jews....i wud throw a penny in, and watch them fight to the death!.....i did the same thing with two Catholic Preits, but instead i tossed in a small boy!...haha! XD
peacebomber74 9 months ago
:D i can't stop laughing so hard to type right now. jeff dunham is really funny
MrZw69 10 months ago
'ELLO!!!! I am Lindsay Lohan!
Okay, two Jews walk in eh bar...
iamunnameable 11 months ago
6 people must be terrorists
zinzilla 11 months ago
STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!
michellevt132 11 months ago 2
jeff is gay see look at 3:54!!faggot drivin a freaken prus!!
killer4523 11 months ago
what the hell happened to my feet!son of a beach!
STOP TOUCHING MEEE!!!!!
bodabob123 11 months ago
Achmed-"okay, heres another one...two jews walk in a bar.." Jeff-"no" Achmed-"what? ...you dont let jews in your bar....racist bastard."
....
Jeff-"you cant tell jokes like that!" Achmed-"why not?" Jeff-"Because it offends people" Achmed-"oh.....what do i care? im dead!"
aly98baby 1 year ago
" What's the last thing that went thought your mind"
" My ass."
Ahaha so funny!!!!!
GinyCullen 1 year ago 6
Achmeds right arm is damaged!
Pipetruls 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
DONT READ THIS CAUSE IT REALLY WORKS,YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOU"RE LIFE,TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE,HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO OVER 3 VIDEOS OR YOU WILL DIE WITHIN 2 DAYS,NOW YOU STARTED READING DONT STOP,THIS IS SO SCARY POST THIS TO OVER FIVE VIDEOS IN 143 MINUTES WHEN YOUR"RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS,THIS IS SO SCARY BUT IT REALLY WORKS
xXOmegaSquadrenxX 1 year ago
You idiot you don't have an ass!!! XD
TheHadesShade 1 year ago
"Your Suit Case! hahahha i told another joch!"
killer0hamhampoo 1 year ago
Forget the ventriloquism. Dunham's ability to manipulate the puppet is fantastic! VERY subtle. Burn a doobie and watch it with the sound off. Makes them almost REAL and believable. LOL!
princeinhiding 1 year ago
"What are you doing..holy crap i'm in the air.. i need some ligaments!" "don't move!"
"Okay i won't move my ass"
I love Jeff Dunham!
Iloveyouu377 1 year ago 6
they open the suitcase and i go HELLOOOOOOOOOO I AM LINSEY LOHAN
97sms 1 year ago
PERMATUR DETONATION
MW2ROCKZ1000 1 year ago
what, you don't let jews in your bar?
you racist bastard
GeneralKenobi46 1 year ago 3
its a flesh wound
TheMotorShooter14 1 year ago 3
i luv this! he is so funny and he looks like me teacher like no joke they look alot alike! LOL HILARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
skaterhater523 1 year ago
A bit touchy, but he pulls it off. "I kill you!"
pitbull103 1 year ago 3
"What, you don't let Jews in your bar?? You racist bastard."
XDD
Twilightfreak47 1 year ago
"Wait if I'm dead...That means I get my 72 virgins!! *looks around* ....Are you my virgins?! I hope not!!"
"Why?"
"There's a buncha ugly-ass guys out there!!"
Twilightfreak47 1 year ago 3
I have managed to get everyone I know into Achmed. My friend and I now greet each other with
Heloooo. I am Lindsay Lohaaaan XD
KyoXAnskima 1 year ago
I love his bit about Jews XD I'm rolling on the floor XD
Should I be concerned?
GriffonFortelli 1 year ago
" I set the timer for 30 minutes but it went off in 4 seconds. You know what that's like, right ? .... Mr. Hurricane " LOL !! That one had me rolling on the floor !!
oryx032000 1 year ago
he always got me...SILENCE..I KILL YOU !!!!! looooooooooooool
zmzom89 1 year ago
Maybe he answered his phone and the bomb detonated early??? Anyway this guy is freakn hilariiiiiiioooooouuuuussssss
HaLoSk8a4life 1 year ago 24
@HaLoSk8a4life The radiation from his cell set off the gas.
MadMunky20k 1 year ago 21
@MadMunky20k No, I think the phone was the detonator... :/ (No offense...)
Frostclaw74 8 months ago
SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!!! I KEEL U!!!! *STARES*
Church96 1 year ago
If this is paradise, then im scruuu'd!!!
Ulvund1337 1 year ago
did ackmed die like 2 times? lols. he died from the premature bomb, and he also died from the phone from putting gas lols
Church96 1 year ago
@Church96 the one witht he premature bomb is just achmed telling a joke...the actual thing happened to him was the one with the cellphone..if I am not mistaken ;p
svenniboy1994 1 year ago
@svenniboy1994 ouhs. hahah k lols. so this is the first show he ever introduced ackmed?
Church96 1 year ago
I'll bet that the 4 who don't "like" this are potential suicide bombers. ;-)
diggyize 1 year ago
i told another joke i can do this crap 2 lol
JohnFistikhs13 1 year ago
SILENCE! ILL KILL U!! *STARES, TURNS, STARES AGAIN* LOLS!!
Church96 1 year ago
"its ok i took that vorizon bastard with me"XD
odstarmor557 1 year ago
stop touching me!!!!!! i kill you x D
SuperBookWorm19 1 year ago
lol....................rocks ppl
anmolshetty 1 year ago
Achem FTW XDD
Hasegawaa 1 year ago
@Hasegawaa lol
anmolshetty 1 year ago
Location location location!! :)
emochic100 1 year ago
I KILL YOOOOuUUUUUUu!!!!!! #lol
200viper 1 year ago
i find it funny that acmeds skin has been torn off, yet he has a beard and the thingy on his head!
FourFeathers94 1 year ago
STOP TOUCHING ME!!! ILL KILL YOU!!
bigtimej007 1 year ago 2
i'de kill you for a klondyke bar
darenton 1 year ago
can you hear me now kgha
freekieboy92 1 year ago
how do you spell it?
..what?
your name!
oh lemme see.. A.....C....phlegm Kkh
raenBow27 1 year ago 2
Knock-Knock!
Who's there?
Me, I kill you ^^
Xenon2589 1 year ago
"You really are dead."
"Really?"
"Yes"
"I just got my flu shot!"
swiftjusticeee 1 year ago 2
1 of the funniest video's on you-tube if not the funniest!!
Jeff dunham 4eva!!!
MrVideomaster85 2 years ago
XD "I did the same thing with two preists! Only I threw in a small boy! Then I made the winner fight for him iwth Micheal Jackson" XDDD HAHAHAAA!
Moonstream360 2 years ago 3
You rascist bastard! XD
kerrigor778 2 years ago
you idiot!! you dont have an ass!!!! hahahahahaha
unyo 2 years ago
i did the same with two priest only i tossed in a small boy ahahaha and the winner had to fight Mikel Jackson!!
lol!!
SuperHalomaster123 2 years ago
What the hell happened to my feet?
:L
jaredturbo3 2 years ago 3
a terrorfying terrorist. a..c..plhgem.
symone322 2 years ago 45
@symone322
SILENCE! I KEEL YOU!
MadMunky20k 2 years ago 39
a...c...flem
mjjleo 2 years ago
@symone322 " u idiot! u dont have an ass!" lols!
Church96 1 year ago
@symone322 phlem*
countryxXxrocks 11 months ago
8:33 achmeds arm is barely hanging on its hinge.
Ultimostheconquerer 2 years ago
SILENCE!! I KEEL YOU!!
FLgatorgirl06 2 years ago 5
knock knock
whose there
me i keel u!! lol
philliesbaby101 2 years ago 4
ELLOOOOO!!!!!!!
I am LIndsey Lohan!
amIBeingCyberstalked 2 years ago 11
dr8kus 2 years ago 6
you racist bastard LMAO
nikmigvalbuena 2 years ago 7
I kill you!
Jessicarhhx 2 years ago 4
SILENCE...I KILL YOU!!!
B3LiiZ32 2 years ago 7
jeff : do u like bush? achmed : i love bus...... oooh you mean the president lmao xD
juyequetejinko 2 years ago 10
Stop touching meeeeee............ I kill you
thumpper23 2 years ago 7
lol
lady1998theresa 2 years ago 7
"Silence!! I keel u" xdd
kille3rn1ght 2 years ago 7
I LOVE this guy
I'm LMFAO
FlakeFang 2 years ago 5
You idiot you don't have an ass!
tg72211 2 years ago 10
"- Knock, Knock - Who's there? - Me. I kill you." XDXDXDXD
NateFenix 2 years ago 51
there is absolutely no point in your comment. this was recorded ages ago and it was posted on here 2 years ago, christ, mj still had his own nose back then
jockydoodledandy 2 years ago 7
2:43 is the best bit tbh :p
Paradox127 2 years ago 5
LMAO i luv the 3rd SILENCE! I KILL YOU!
chickenbeforeegg 2 years ago 8
mj joke was kinda funny back den
TJBSports1 2 years ago 10
It still is. Might I recommend Foamy the Squirrel's video on death? Watch it.
MadMunky20k 2 years ago 12
@MadMunky20k Awesome comeback dude
emochic100 1 year ago
@MadMunky20k Foamy ftw :)
NickyLess 1 year ago
"God damit! I mean Allah damit!" XD
xXSleazyXx 2 years ago 3
i never thought this guy was this funny. i had never seen achmed he is to to funny
latinoromantico35 2 years ago
SILENCE..........I KILL YOU!! I nearly died laughing!
Athena908 2 years ago 9
about the bar joke wouldnt he be preduce not racist
dweb08 2 years ago
insanity on a stick !!!!
oflodoriksenok 2 years ago 3
i dont get the lyndsay lohan joke
sodaandjuice123 2 years ago
round about when this was filmed lindsey lohan was anorexic
SweetieKittyRouge 2 years ago 5
maybe she was skinny as hell? all bones, if you will.
cryptkeepa 2 years ago
@sodaandjuice123 Lindsay Lohan was Aneroxic (Or something along those lines) when this was filmed. So all bone. Achmed is a skeleton (Sorry for bad spelling. I'm half asleep.)
KyoXAnskima 1 year ago
"a...c....flemh...."
"where did you came from?
your freaking suit case!"
"is it a nice facility?
yes it was.
what happened? new guy"
lol, he's gooood :))
iamtheiceandsnow 2 years ago 5
This has been flagged as spam show
DONT READ THIS Cause It Really Works. YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 VIDEOS YOU WILL DIE WITHIN 2 DAYS. NOW UV STARTED READIN DIS DUNT STOP THIS IS SO SCARY. SEND THIS OVER TO 5 VIDEOS IN 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS. THIS IS SO SCARY Cuz IT ACTUALLY WORKS THIS reaLLY WORKS
lolhuguy 2 years ago
I tossed in a penny and a small boy!
Anothercoilgun 2 years ago
is this Achmed's first appearance?
Troop3r666 2 years ago
Yes it is
Suprahampton 2 years ago 2
hello!! i am Lindsay Lohan!!
XD hahaha lol
JBRockstar13 2 years ago 7
Knock Knock.
Whos there?
Me I Kill You!
tonyhawkdude95 2 years ago 9
hahahahaha MR HURRICANE
reggie4lifekillah123 3 years ago 6
This has been flagged as spam show
DONT READ THIS Cause It Really Works. YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 VIDEOS YOU WILL DIE WITHIN 2 DAYS. NOW UV STARTED READIN DIS DUNT STOP THIS IS SO SCARY. SEND THIS OVER TO 5 VIDEOS IN 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS. THIS IS SO SCARY Cuz IT ACTUALLY WORKS THIS reaLLY WORKS
brentube2 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
can any 1 tell me plz what the hell is flash wood
tiger2hunt4me 3 years ago
flesh wound :) That's what he says ..
DKsPanda 2 years ago 6
flesh wound?
cryptkeepa 2 years ago 9
fuckin hilarious:D
silence..i keeeee you
a....c.....flem:]
his from 24 ,ackmed
wallerules08 3 years ago 3
it use to be lmao
tiger2hunt4me 3 years ago
Can someone tell me what is a "clay-acon"?.
FalkonX3000 3 years ago 2
it`s Clay Aiken. Google him...
crok910 3 years ago 3
rly gay looking dude that was "are you smarter than a 5th grader"
joniiboy 3 years ago 2
he won american idol one season
nd everyone thought he was gay cuz he looked gay,,sounded gay nd guys loved him hahah
wallerules08 3 years ago 3
the best part of spark of inanity.
Pumpkinsquirt 3 years ago 4
we´re looking for some idiots with no future ...
ROFL
STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KEEEEEL YOUUUU
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
i love Jeff Dunham
BlooddrinkersLupa 3 years ago 5
SILENCE!!!!!.......i keel you!
LMFAO!!
uknoimcute07 3 years ago 8
knock knock,whos there,me! i kill u! hahahaha
futuremrsryanross 3 years ago 8
My all time favorite of his "dummies".
pkmn08two 3 years ago 6
helooooooooo! i am lindsey lohan!
xZohaib360 3 years ago 6
stop touching me!!!! ......I KILL YOUU, fucking hysterical
mrspecialuk 3 years ago 5
lol i had a premature detonation
Noodleking120 3 years ago 5
SILENCE! i keel you! lolz
oogie4 3 years ago 5
What was the last thing that went through your mind? My ass....
TheBwanaDik 3 years ago 7
LMFAO ello! i am lindsey lohaaaaaan! LOL.
SmartChicc12 3 years ago 6
i need some ligaments!!
mary35comedy 3 years ago
Is that Walter?
Yes
He scare the crap out of me!
XD
gamefreak207 3 years ago 3
lmfao!!! achmed's definetly my favorite!!
mary35comedy 3 years ago
oh lets see acflem silence i kill you
xzero213 3 years ago 2
r u kinding i kill u for a klonik bar
funny stuff
specialopps07 3 years ago
Anyone else notice that Achmed has managed to dislocate his left (my left his right) shoulder?
MissEricaGirl 3 years ago 3
yehh i just noticed that lol X].....well...he is dead after all XD
epesibbz 3 years ago
All the charachters snort???
still he is amazing
Jrsociologist 4 years ago
Knock,Knock
who's there
Me, I kill you
so funny
barbienewk 4 years ago
so you're finished?
WHAT?!
I mean you've finished your job.
No I havn't!
But you're dead...
No I'm not! Its a flesh wound!!
xoME123ox 4 years ago 2
boo hoo
32lmb 4 years ago
A...C...phleghm....
jdawg12y 4 years ago 4
is a flesh wound
spinmaster06 4 years ago 2
SCILENCE!! I KEEL YOU!! *eyebrow*
LordWellcaster 4 years ago 2
OOOOOO ITS ACHMEEEED
patriotprilep 4 years ago 2