Harry Potter - My Immortal - Chapter 41 2/2

[vanillaskulldirector]

Unintentional Hedwig and the Angry Inch reference?

[UltraMegaSimLover]

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[XxxBOOKWORMx2012xxX]

"Dis is...Hedwig!11"

*cries*

[TonyBranston]

Wait...I just put on headphones - were you listening to Hotel California?

[inmyownworld10]

Why is Hedwig ad Human and "goffik" and Hedwigs a Owl and a Girl. god now i want to slit my "rists"

[WhiteRoseWithering96]

Oh gosh. Hedwig is now a male "goffik and sexay" human. Shoot me. 

[Amythis8]

The Hedwig thing still kills me.

[XoxBloodRainxoX]

I genuinely have a headache now from trying to make sense of this. I'm not even joking. . .

[KoraBloom]

@XoxBloodRainxoX When it comes to sense, this story makes none.

[MittyAnime]

A Glock is a gun. Is Tara using a euphemism or is she just misspelling another word?

[MishMashPhooka]

T-That poor owl...caught in an orgy...

[Source715]

@MishMashPhooka I read your comment before reading the chapter... I'm now slightly disturbed about what I am about to read... :/

[NorweganWood]

HOTEL CALIFORNIA!

Sorry, I heard it in the background

[RoconzaArt]

I would say some thing about Hedwig but this is from a girl who thinks crookshanks is a deadly spell.

[masterplusmargarita]

Wait... Hedwig was originally a gothic (So his colour was BLACK) bi dude. Then, IT became Volxemort's boyfriend. Then IT turned into a female WHITE presumably straight owl. Who was Volxemort's archenemies pet.

Fuck you, Tara. Fuck you.

[SidheKnight]

@masterplusmargarita You forgot FEMALE owl.

Yup, Hedwig is a 'she' in the original Potterverse.

But in Tara world, you have "Hargid" being a Hogwarts student (who is also a Satanist). And Hedwig being a male bisexual gothic human (she even got the species wrong!)

[IHeartBrattyPets1212]

She...she just ruined Hedwig for me. D>

[IHateTheTwilightSaga]

GaySex=Putting a penis into someones fucking Ass

[dovepaw0228]

How is it that the teachers ALWAYS show up when 2 characters are having sex?! Do Hogwarts teachers have some kind of students-having-sex sensor or something?!

[masterplusmargarita]

@dovepaw0228 Nah. Dobby is obviously always watching when someone is "Doing it", and he tells the teachers "Telekinetically".

[CatrionaMM]

I almost peed my pants imagining Voldemort and Hedwig making out.

Also, when did "Lucian" have one arm? I never noticed that until it said "and he had both arms!", or something like that.

[elladefleura]

Okay... So I'm just going to completely ignore that Hedwig is a human...

But wasn't Hedwig a GIRL OWL?

[NarutoRPCfan]

@elladefleura

I think Hedwig WAS a GIRL. o.o

[bruxbrux]

"I'm ACTUALLY crying."

[craziem0r0n]

“Kool.” said Serious as Voldemort and Hedwig started 2 make out sexily.

funniest sentence ever.

[TheElectricDreamer93]

Wait... Hedwig is bi? But-but--- What the f- *head explodes*

[Tareltonlives]

WHEN DID LUCIUS LOSE AN ARM?!

This is blasphemy! This is madness! THIS! IS! HEDWIG!

"NO! No, we will not pretend, you whorebag!"

How the hell would Draco and Harry become friends IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

[KazukiriMishamiota]

Am I the only one who gets the greatest kick out of hearing her refer to random things she and others do as being done "sexily"?

I have to say, this chick, if she wasn't just a troll writing badfic for the lulz in the first place, is probably one of the greatest fail!writers I've ever seen. This deserves an award for its absolute horribleness.

[elemental402]

Glock? Brings a whole new meaning to "pop a cap in his ass", I suppose.

[francheskapugh12]

cute is what we aim for is a power punk band . THEY ARE NOT GOFFIK TARA IS A POSR PREPZ BITCH!

[WonderfullyWierd1]

"I don't love you like I did yesterday and you can see the black ear on his face like the woman in that video" XD Oh my god I nearly fell out of bed

[gagnorhawkk]

Snake. Snake..? SNAAAAAAAAAAKE!

[ahdeath2007]

I swear to god my head hurts and my iq just dropped

[TonyBranston]

Hedwid doesn't look like he has black streaks.

[XXXKingofSorrow]

My brain hurt. Must think for time to sit.

[ladysovlover17]

what...the shitt....AN OWL IS A GOFF BI-GUY?!

[vivahalo]

@ladysovlover17 don think about it for your own sanity

[ladysovlover17]

@vivahalo too late...my brainz are on the wall :( DAMN YOU EBONY DARK'NESS BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!

[vivahalo]

@ladysovlover17 well you made it this far so you didnt do to bad

[pinkjaguar95]

This is even funnier when you consider the fact that Harry Potter was born in the early eighties.

[morikoIkuko]

you can take video on ipods now lol

[TiffanyDoll]

can i travel through time with one too?

[CybilBennett66]

I feel sorry for Tara's English teachers. They probably all broke their skulls from *headdesk*-ing so much whenever they had to read/correct a writing assignment by her. XD

[RealisticFantasy]

I dunno. Judging from her writing, I doubt she ever took an English class past the first grade. :/

[IAmIva]

Billie joe. She needs to leave his sexy ass out of this shit. And correction: he was born then, but he was like 10

[eyepoo]

I'm pretty sure this girl thinks gay sex works by putting a penis inside another penis.

I am just...

.____________.

[mythbuster43]

@eyepoo After Hedwig appeared, I just gave up all together. I committed suicide sexily by slitting my wrists.

[KoraBloom]

@eyepoo That's not even physically possible. What would possess her to think that?

[SPgirl96]

So, Hedwig is a bi Volxemort's ex? ;)

[ras144]

3:43

Oh god.......................my brain's dying

4:28

It's like watching Indiana Jones getting raped again, IT'S S AWFUL!!!!

I think my brain raped itself from reading that chapter....oO

[ToruKun1]

LMAO, I love how Enoby knew "Hedwig" was bi just by looking at him, WTF!? XD

[YusukeYuichie]

Didn't you know? Hedwig was REALLY a person and he just so happened to get a sex change and be transfigured into an owl. And somehow when Harry bought her he knew that was her name.

[DragonJTS]

Well, he said he got hedwig from his history of magic book. What if the book said hedwig was a bi male wizard who was turned into a female owl, and it just happened to b- wait, am I trying to explain this crap? Argh, My brain needs a break.

[Jelicathestrange]

...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

OMG SHE ACTUALLY HAD THE AUDACITY TO PUT THAT UP

tara is one of a kind

[lolmuffins123]

wait...Billey joel?

Like...Like Uptown irl???

[MST3K86]

She meant Billy Joe as in Billy Joe Armstrong the lead singer of Green Day but, this being Tara, she confused him with Billy Joel.

[sarcastic113]

Cute is What We Aim For is not a freaking goffik band!! AGHHH!!

[IchabodNarf]

Never die?

OH EM GEE! James is the Immortal Prat!

[DiabolicalLefty]

"No, no we will NOT pretend you WHOREBAG."

That was the best.

[deideisempai134]

Hedwig!?!?!?!?! wtf?! lol! and that noise..."gwaaaaaaahhhhhuhuhuhh­h" that scared me

[Notebooked]

THIS! IS! HEDWIG!

*kicks self down pit*

[Mechakitten]

Snake? SNAKE?! SNAAAAAAAAAAKEE!!!

*dun dun dun*

[jtull89]

A rock star named Hedwig of ambiguous gender? Sounds like Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

[86laf]

Oh my fukking god!!!! Voldimort! Voldimort! screamed Hedwig as his glock touched Voldemorts"

When I first read that line I very nearly passed out from laughing. The image of Hedwig and Voldemort having sex is both simultaneously hilarious and deeply disturbing.

P.S. Listen to this line using the audio preview feature. Bloody awesome!

[ToruKun1]

"This is Hedwig!"

"Gwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! *sobs*"

[SailorYavin]

...0-0 Hedwig...wtf? that may be the strangest thing thus far.

[elrond532]

Billy Joel with blond hair because it's the 80's? Hilarious! I hope she's thinking of Billy Idol.

[elrond532]

Oh wait, Billy Joe. Sorry, sorry; as a child of the 80's, I guess I just got "Lost in Emotion."

[DeadbeatShadows]

"COLONEL!" XD Ah, I hope you guys did that every time Snape is Snake from here on.

[AgeOfMyths]

Hedwig is a female owl! Not a "goffik" bi guy! -_-

[omifishcakes]

hahahahahhahaha. <3

Lol hi Enoby. He answered but then he ran away bcos he had hair of magical creature. He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok!!)

This made me laugh so much!

[blinkAsthenia182]

WHAT?!

Hedwig?! Hedwig is a SHE to begin with, and SHE'S an owl! xD'

I practically choked on my orange juice when I read that.

[BadgerX153]

Hedwig the goth owl... Is Dobby watching all this?

[RhymesWithEmpty]

Dobby is masticating his eructation passively...or statistically...I don't know anymore.

[LaPrimeraa]

Okay.

Does this even take place in the eighties?

Its when Voldemort is a teenager.

So its actually in like....I don't know.

And then Sirius and company is there.

And didn't James and Lily die in 1980?

wow. This is great...

[powerhockeygirl]

Oh wow...

glock?

.

[sageribbons]

this was amazing!

(finallygotfirstcommmment)