Things To Say Or Do When Someone Experiences A Loss

[TheButttaflygrl383]

You are so right. Thanks for posting this.

[jollyjess6]

You are so right! I reflect from time to time on what was said to me during my loss. My in-laws never include Zane in their list of grandchildren. I always correct them. It may be rude of me but I feel that they do it intentionally and its rude of them. Great suggestions!

[Sexyhexymama]

For feeling sad. I am not gonna say she isnt normal since I believe everyone is normal in their own lil way. She just doesnt take lossing a baby to heart as a lot of us do. I just wish I had my family to lean on when I wanna talk about my sweet baby. I cant even put into words how you must feel since u actually gave birth to both of your sweet baby girls. You are such a strong & beauitful woman & I honestly look up to you. Thank u for these videos telling us about your daughters <3 U r a joy <3

[carlynicoleelliotte]

@Sexyhexymama Ugh, that's just horrible that your family treated your loss like that. I'm sorry that they have hindered your grieving process. Please know that you are completely normal regardless of what anyone else says or thinks. BTW, I love the name you picked for your baby.

[Sexyhexymama]

She lost the baby & I honestly got so upset/sad over her loss. She didnt cry she didnt act like she even cared. She just talked about how shes happy to not feel sick anymore. She told me that shes not a freak & doesnt get depressed over something that wasnt even here yet. I felt like I wasnt normal for being so sad. I didnt understand why she wasnt feeling any pain over her baby but here I was crying over lossing my lil niece or nephew. I dont understand her but all I know is I am normal for

[Sexyhexymama]

What kills me so much is that when I lost Cameron my sister was horrible to me. She didnt care & said some very messed up things to me about Cameron not being a real baby & about how Cameron wasnt born so IT wont have a soul or go to heaven. She honestly said some of the worst things anyone could ever say to me. It made me get in a very deep depression.But the sad part about all of this is that one yr after losing Cameron she comes up preggo & I was so happy for her but a few weeks pass & she

[Sexyhexymama]

My family thinks I'm crazy for naming Cameron. I hate how they act. The only people I can talk to about Cameron is my 7 yr old daughter & hubby. My family doesnt care at all & to this day I still cry & never got passed the sadness. It will be 6 yrs in March.This time of yr is so hard for me because I got preggo with Cameron in dec & found out I was preggo on Jan 16th 2005. I was 6 weeks along. I have a video on my channel showing Camerons ornament if you wanna see it <3.

[Sexyhexymama]

My sister treated me so badly when I went thru my loss. It made everything 1000x worse. I have a ornament on my xmas tree that reminds me of Cameron. I lost cameron at 14 weeks but Cameron only grew to be 8 weeks & 3 days along. I didnt know what Cameron was but in my heart of hearts I know Cameron was a baby girl. We wanted to give Cameron a name you could use for either sex. Camerons full name is Cameron Baylee. Cameron I feel is more for a boy & Baylee is for a girl.

[mumof3j]

Going anywhere. That was the biggest thing for me. I wish my family had just been there. It's not always about knowing the right thing to say, just be there. Remember that whether they already have children or not their baby was loved, wanted, hoped for and will be greatly missed so don't say *well at least you have children, be grateful of that* We are! We released a helium balloon with a message to our baby on our due date, it would be nice if someone asked if they could come along next year

[carlynicoleelliotte]

@mumof3j Thanks for your response. I agree that if someone continues to pull away and not open up about their loss that you should continue to remind them that you are there whenever they are ready.

[mumof3j]

I secluded myself also, l wouldn't answer the phone or anything. I just didn't want to be around anyone but my husband and children. It was nice if a friend left a message or text me to say they were thinking of me. A hug is great and if they cry, just hold them tight! The best thing as you say is just be there and listen, don't try to change the subject, let them talk about it or if like me they pull away and distance themselves just keep reminding them that your there, that your not going any

[Adelea88]

What a wonderful video. Thank you so much for sharing :)

[carlynicoleelliotte]

@Adelea88 Thank you.

[lauracori]

Great video. I love when our family mentions our Triplets. I don't have many IRL friends but the ones i made in my infertility struggles and pregnancy buddies still mention my children.

[carlynicoleelliotte]

@lauracori That's great that they still mention them. What were their names?

[alandamandamama]

I like lighting a floating candle in a case that I have that is engraved " this light shines as a symbol of lives and loves remembered" (from Target). I light it at any special occasion.. Christmas, my birthday, my brothers birthday, family gatherings etc. Also, saying their name loudmouth like you said keeps them "alive" in the sense that you are honoring them ♥

[carlynicoleelliotte]

@alandamandamama I love that you float a candle. That's really nice. I burn candles every now and again for my girls as well.

[alandamandamama]

I think the greatest gesture is just saying... I am here for you if and when you are ready and just getting calls to check in. I appreciated when people would just call and leave a message to say just calling because I am thinking of you... Also, it is nice when people check in later not just after.

[carlynicoleelliotte]

@alandamandamama Yes just letting others know that you are there is great. also totally agree with calling later and not just soon after a loss.

[ReillyAJ]

great video idea.

I for one never know what to say not only about this but in any loss or any bad news really...

[carlynicoleelliotte]

@ReillyAJ Finding the right words for loss or any bad situation can be difficult for most everyone. I find that just being there and not saying anything other than you are there for them can be the most comforting for those in need.

[lynseyiriz]

for me, i secluded myself, noone really disappeared, and ive never lost a child but alot of early pregnancy loss, i hate hearing sorry, and God has a reason , i dont understand what his reason is for giving and then taking, to me, why give in the first place

[carlynicoleelliotte]

@lynseyiriz I don't like to hear I'm sorry either. Not like it's a bad thing for people to say but it makes me feel like people feel sorry for me and I don't want people to feel sorry for me. The "God has a reason" doesn';t bother me but I know it does most people who I have ta;led to about it.

[dghrybkf]

great video! thank you for being so open, I know your making a huge diffrence in many peoples lives.

[carlynicoleelliotte]

@dghrybkf Thank you. I hope that others are able to find some kind of comfort and support through my life after loss videos.