a response to a girl like me

[AmorPatriae11]

self hatred is very common in africa as well! as an african i can really confirm. the media has really damaged black women. natural hair is not acceptable. same as here in europe most black people tell me to "fix" my hair! smh

[yralm07]

Great News! You can find yourself in Jesus. The God who made you.

[kifagi]

@yralm07: There is no god and there was never a jesus, smh. Stop peddling lies of the Roman Catholic Church religious doctrine. African's and other nonwhite people find themselves by counter-attacking White Supremacy (Racism) with truth and justice.

[bladekutt]

i love you sista.... and i with you too....

[kookoo78]

I wear my hair natural and yea most people hated it at first, but I had to be true to myself. I knew that my natural hair wasn't straight and when I would work out it would sweat everywhere (and stink after awhile). We as black women have to break the stereotype of how our hair looks

[krimsonangel]

So glad to see that you woke up from the non sense. I think that your hair is beautiful! We always see straight hair but our hair is so beautiful! If we don't feel good about ourselves then we will pass this on to the next generation. I am glad that I'm natural. For the first time in my LIFE I can say that I love my hair soooo much more than the straight thin hair that I had. My hair is so much thicker now and it has personality!! Afro hair is beautiful. Thanks for this lovely video!

[lilytanzy]

that was amazing thx!

[PrometheanFlame]

Thank you so much for this. We need to be aware of the girls who still feel unhappy in their skin. We can't stop fighting. We have to make sure that this country does right by us.

[lambookuka]

If you have a child, can I use it for bate when I go Shark Fishing...?

[Akane1313]

D= I love you too! Sorry. I got a little teary at that part. Thank you for posting this. I hope a lot of people see it and start to reconsider what beauty is.

[Sigh]

i have been noticing that there are more natural haired black women on tv and in the real world also, which makes me really happy..

[Dawn0564]

@Sigh i also noticed that a lot of the natural haired women i see on tv have the typical "wavy mixed hair." rarely if ever do they have thicker hair.

[PrometheanFlame]

Unfortunately our hair cannot seem to exist outside of the white supremacist context. Yes, that kind of hair seems more dominant in media, but I find plenty of black female role models who have thicker and less defined curls in their hair. Those girls are out there, but in mainstream US media they tend to be even more marginalized. We have to fight for better representation.

[PrometheanFlame]

It makes me happy, too. :)

We got to make sure the world is better for girls who come after us. I personally want to go natural not just for myself but for my progeny.

[Jenniexotica]

Even till today, i'm 31 yrs old and don't feel like taking out my indian status card for tax exemp just so that i don't have to see that dirty look the other person gives me... people are still ignorant today and i'm not sure it will change soon unfortunately. This whole thing just pisses me off!

[PrometheanFlame]

I feel you on that, people are just ignorant of history and can't overcome their privileges to see a fuller picture. Your Indian status card is not a hand out; you survived just like many other POC who couldn't catch a break on this damn continent. We have to stick together and keep fighting.

[Jenniexotica]

My daughter of 6 mths is bi-racial, her father is black and hails from Jamaica, so I know how it feels to be discriminated and will be strong for my daughter, I will teach her to be proud of who she is and where she comes from. Cause in the end folks, we all hail from AFRICA!

[Jenniexotica]

I'm not surprised at all how todays generation having some insecurities about their color, or hair. Myself being First Nation Native from Canada, I still have struggles with most french whites out here due to the fact that I have an Indian status card...

[Monkeyshouts]

@Jenniexotica Most french-speaking whites?! You mean there's a kind of racism deep in the Québec socieity towards people from indigenous descent (or First Nation Native if you prefer) like you?

I didn't know that... wow and I thought Québec was progressive and tolerant both in politics and in society!

[ispeak2u2]

Wooo You know Parents have to teach their kids to be proud of who they are and where they come from. This has to start from strong Parents. If this is not taught from an early age how can you appreciate your culture and appreciate the beauty of who you are.. Strong confident Parents are key. Look at the Obamas.

[ThePoinciana]

Dont ever feel bad; if you want to see something beautiful, see FlyingFIN99 on yotube; it would make you cry

[ThePoinciana]

Hey! sisterloc ks are cool! they make your hair grow AND you have flingability too

[ThePoinciana]

we need to stop this; this is the fault of overtired mothers; if dads would brush the hair once in a while; we would feel better about ourselves; Barack Obama married Michelle BECAUSE he wasnt raised with the BLACK PATHOLOGY CRAP Michelle would be too dark for most sucessful black men

[windrix1]

Black people are beautiful. They just have to stop trying to look like white people. They will never have straight, flowing, hair. HOnestly. ANd people who do relaxers look like fools, because they are obviously praising white people as bettter, and are not secure with themselves.

[sexyboa25]

i remember wanting to be barbie, i am ashamed of myself. that image was like heaven at one point in life, but it just ended up ripping me apart. i learned my lesson tho. i will teach my kids to love people of every color but at the same time to never for get who and what they are.

[titoferni29]

Being ligh skinned you obviously know doesn't help, evrytime I come back to the U.S. I always hear you need to do something with your hair. I never hear that in Europe they always say we love your hair naturally it's so beautiful! My Mom lost her hair young from chemicals, that's abusive. I am trying to get darker!LOL!

[Avanaih]

I think the problem is with in the person, who cares what the world say about u? I am African and not once have I hope that I had more European feature ,and i will never wish to be white. That's why I love Africa, they teach their kids about being proud of who they are and where they are from. African are proud people.

[jmeansb]

well as one young lady pointed out in the video... african americans are disconnected in alot of ways from africa... and its no secret that african americans don't think of themselves as africans and africans don't think of african americans as africans... so all around there is a breakdown. Not ALL africans are proud of their 'african' features.... skin bleaching is a big industry in africa.. so let's not get carried away. Bottom line, as much as one might love him/herself..

[jmeansb]

there's only soo much self love that can withstand the dominant cultures standards of beauty..... its a process to getting to a place of loving ones self in the face of constant subliminal messages that you're not beautiful as u are.

[Chrissystina22]

Hey my best home girl is from Uganda and she said that lightskin dark skin complex is a huge problem where she grew up.

But im glad its not liek that every where in africa, at least. i jsut hate this shit, you know? I hate that we are still brainwashed

[jb6591]

True. During colonization Blacks were forced to use bleach cremes bu the British to get/ekkp a job. Whites considered mulattos superior to Black Africans and created a cast systems amongl Africans (same story , different place)

[windrix1]

Where is you source? I've never heard anything like that?

[cintadela]

well said... iiiiiiiiiiiiii agreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[cintadela]

hahahahhahahhahahahhaahaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa­aaaaa lol im black by the way hahhahaahhahhahhahahahha

[wallstreetyoung]

whats this baby expirament?

[18kesha18]

i agree, but alot of the dolls and advertisments on t.v were white and it wasnt the fact that the black children hated who they were but the fact that they wanted the "origonal" doll that is usually advertised, which happens to be white. THe light skin vs darkskin is an issue in the black community which is very prevailent even in the media, people who choose to care will let the color of there skin effect there lives, people who dont will live there livs by there character, the choice is theirs

[weeze3]

This was very beautiful. I love hearing your story, i find you very calming.

:3

[LilMisSsHAdy11]

i think u're beautiful.

[SweetPe22]

Thanks for your video it made me feel encouraged. By the way, you have gorgeous hair, and you look so young for 40 I thought you were closer to 30! :)

[mrsdevious01]

Lighter skinned women and girls also go through the self hate stage in life. (I was one) UNFORTUNATELY, most of us black women never wake up to really love ourselves as we are. We hear the same thing so much that it has become cliche: "love yourself the way GOD made you" How unless we wake up to who we are and teach our children the same. We live in a "do as I say and not as I do" nation. Until we wake up and love ourselves we will only teach our babies to do the same as always. History repeats.

[rickystar5]

Your hair is beautiful!

[ValentinoAimar]

why so serious?

[prbyv]

If we give our children the mental armor that they need, they will be better able to deal with the pressures outside of the home. That goes for everything; self image, drugs, sex; the list goes on.

[prbyv]

I remember growing up in the inner city and going to school in the PSS and it was a different time. The parents, neighbors, teachers, clergy etc. reinforced self awareness programs and taught us to be ok with who we were. I'll never forget my middle school math teacher who wore the dashiki and the natural hair, and played the drums in the morning when we came in to school in the mornings. They gave us a foundation upon which to build, and I wish it was the same now. Charity begins at home.

[jumpclouds]

thank you so much.

[ddleatherwood]

I feel that every female in America needs to see both A Girl Like Me as well as the response to A Girl Like Me. American culture is ignorant in so many ways because no one understands what is happening to the next generation. It's like cultural genocide to people's heritages that are of color. That's sad.

[jayjbee]

And yes...

JayJBee

"I love you too"

[jayjbee]

I'm struggling with perception of beauty. Till this day I haven't even dated a sista. Shoot me... no. Date me ;-). Woke up recently and figuring out myself... again!

I've got a portuguese colonial background.

About kids choosing white dolls: The black latin world is being targeted with soap series.

Namely 'Isaura'. The Cinderella like product of abuse of her black mom by her slaveholding dad. Ends well, all's well: She ends up in white fam, but her mom stays Cinderella in the kitchen.

[jayjbee]

I have such a relationship with my mom. Actually. Me, my bro and my dad have.

We can't do anything good.

She grew up with a god vision of white peeps and wants us to bow too. She feeds that behavior by her skin color. Tho her mom is pitchblack, she's lighter than us three... and thereby has the last word. Absurd!

I'm brohibited to talk about atroceties of western country's. Not even the things she saw and lived in colonial days.

To think she too was into the 'black is beautyfull '70's'

[jayjbee]

Media is the infector of this disease. It is a disease. No mammal does what people do. It is not normal, but where does it come from and what can we do against it, if we should.

I mean... I still listen to Spandau Ballet and Duran Duran. I love the faces my actual Hip-Hop network put on when I tell m that.

Am I a Kemet king? No.

I is Kemet. I is king.

JayJBee

"I master the world we live in, but I need a nation to operate from"

[N7even]

I am a black man and would have to say that some black men also have to stop in their attitudes, by expecting or wanting their black womans hair to be long and stringy. I am proud of my womans hair, which is natural like yours......peace and God bless

[dontlistentomeimmute]

so true.. some girls are pressured bec of men.. and how the media or advertising industry portray them.

[Peachis911]

i raised a little girl who was african american and i like the fact her hair was thick and i enjoyed coming it i kept it natural her hair was very curly i loved her hair she 18 now but her hair is past her shoulder because i never permed it and i took good car of it and taught her how to take care of her hair she uses hair food to keep it greased she wears it in a pony tail alot now

[Peachis911]

did u see the movie? it was really great movie it touched me

[TashaG16]

I love that movie. I use to bring it to school for black history month as a lil girl all the time.

[israelsprincess07]

I think u look so pretty with ur natural hair: )

[LBellatrix]

THANK YOU for doing this video. Sadly, it is a NECESSARY video in this day and age.

One of the things that keeps me natural is the desire to show black girls that IT'S OKAY TO BE YOURSELF. Like you it took me years to get to this point...I'm 42, dark-skinned, and I've been natural for 12 years next month. Sadly a lot of my own people think I'm ugly...but because I know where that mentality comes from, I can separate my self-image from it. I wish more black women could know this kind of freedom.

[Godsgenius]

Great response to the girl like me video. You were truthful and honest. Within the African American community, we tend to brush issues under the carpet. We certainly need to take a stand about the issues facing our community. Yes, hair is one facet but also as others have stated self esteem, the struggles facing african american boys as noted by gracebelieverz. As a race, we are so beautiful and we just need to learn to embrace it. Thank you.

[gracebelieverz]

white slavemasters conditioned Black women to demotivate their sons.

Black women have a neglectful attitude toward their male children that is so veery apparent to women of ALL races! Little boys hurt, cry, and have self-esteem issues too.

Black boys are failing nationwide (usa) even as pre-schoolers due to the conditioning of Black wom minds.

She needs to take the focus off conditioning her hair, and take a look at the CONDITIONING OF BLACK WOMENS MIND'S THROUGHOUT AMERICAN HISTORY

[Godsgenius]

Gracebelieverz, you are truly valid in your feelings about our need to focus on other issues besides hair. The video above is just merely a response to the Girl Like Me Video. Perhaps, you should post a video to address your concerns. Your honesty and passion is surely felt by me. I respect your fight for our struggles as a people. Peace and blessings.

[tynesha25]

Great job!. We need to embrace one another and stick together and teach our kids about history.

[butterfli2205]

Even though i am hispanic, i find the black race very beautiful and most appealing. I think ALL people should be proud of how they look because those factors is what makes you YOU. My boyfriend is african american and i honestly wouldn't want him any other way and i plan to have a future with him including kids.There needs to be a way where we can raise thses children to love themselves and many other things. God bless you and to me, you are beautiful and a very strong woman.

[mj34]

to butterfli I hope you have geniune love for this brother and I hope I don't offend you by writing this but there are to many women who find our men appealing for the wrong reasons,mostly for sexual pleasures, or they want a pretty brown baby if you genuiley love this man and want to have kids with him you must learn about the black culture and history.

[bellydown29]

That's why we need to uplift & celebrate ourselves!! And if the experienced women know this, then we should embrace younger females that are going through this and so much more nowadays. Check out beaybgcom for more details on the positive change coming!!

[queenra37]

We a are bouqet of flowers, we can look like anybody but nobody can look like us.We are unique. If you don't define yourself other people will define you. Women of color are some of the most beautiful and compassionate women on earth. We are beautiful. Don't define yourself by the white mans standard. Why do you think the caucasian race lays in the sun, pumps up their lips, gets curly perms and tries to wear locks - what does that say to you.

[queenra37]

2ideas - go to black planet and pull up greeneyes68 -she is my daughter who made her transition in 2003. You both are so much alike in nature and look. The most disturbing thing on her site is in her guest book was that there were young women who put inappropriate pics on her site- after she passed. It was disrecpectful and I my response to them was respect your self, love yourself.

[thunderofbakari]

note : we are not African Americans, we are black people of African descent granted citizenship in America. We can never be American and we will never have the privaledges that Americans have in America. America is a racist country always has been. that's just as bad as saying - American Indian

[slapalistics]

i appreciate ur thoughts, there are far too many sistas that still suffer from a colonial self hatred in this culture and to survive i feel we should remember "it ain't whats on your head it's what's in it"..so sistas need to realize, as assata shakur remarked in her book, hairstyles are, for black women, disguises for survival!

[ANaturalBeauty]

Awesome video! I am a young woman with natural hair and I find it sad as well to see so many blacks dependent on relaxers and weaves. I also do not get the "light skinned = better" ideology either. All Black people are Beautiful!!! We are a diverse race, something we need to realize and accept and admire!

[justonemore8805]

sometimes people like light toned women

[Tregnier52]

BRAVO!

[razasharpe]

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COURAGE.. :)

[destinee85]

I agree with everything u say...black females mind are warped..from media and hollywood

[amandamorgan5]

If you're interested there is a yahoo group where great discussions take place:

wheredowegofromhere · AFTER IMUS WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE

The recent firing of Imus has sparked a much needed debate within the black community about the need to address degradation of black people in black popular music by black artists. The firing of Imus is one issue. The other issue is the need to start the healing in the black and other ethnic communities of self degradation.

[chalicetomalice]

i wish i had a hair like yours.. sadly mine is just simply curly... its sucks

[QueenLex]

i clap for you girl.

[kuonankrma]

What if I told you that AYAH (yes, scriptural comment) thinks of us and our ancestors as a peculiar people. Have anybody here ever thought to look at scripture to find the answers to the question why there. Every single detail of the way we live today and what happened to us in the past 400+ years was written down 2000+ years ago! OT Deuterenomy 28 please read and sent me a comment!

[kuonankrma]

You are beautiful sister 2ideas and more precious than you ever could imagine a lot of us black/hidden

people have been ripped of our identity which is also a strategic plot to become preoccupied with all but our identity!!

[MizzDiamonds]

the same things go through the young girls of england

[gracebelieverz]

Very touching 2Ideas-

This is the result of hundreds of years of the rape and torture of young Black girls in slavery and even now in economic oppression. America's refusal to apologize and pay reparations is leading ALL youth

on a downward spiral. Depression is the nations top

illness. You are Beautiful.......truly Beautiful!!!!!!!

[Danieltheartist]

Hm... I dont know... But I apprecited your vieo's.. I like all my paintings of black people. People are people. Can you tell me more about what you feel sometime? Thanks --God Bless You--

[roni333]

I am so ashamed that i can actually relate to this...Why do we feel this way?

[2ideas]

FOR me it was growing up in foster homes that did it.

[nandansho]

Plz look up Dr Francess Cress Welsing on Youtube she explains how White Supremacy caused this.

Then look up Malcolm X "Who told you you're ugly" Black People must ween themselves fom TV and White Media to Counter the overwelming images of Beauty defined as being a Blonde Haired Blue eyed woman. I stopped watching TV 2 yrs ago. BTW you're a beautiful Woman.

[glamazon67]

"...Black People must ween themselves fom TV and White Media to Counter the overwelming images of Beauty defined as being a Blonde Haired Blue eyed woman."

PREACH!

[kifagi]

@roni333: White Supremacy (Racism), that is why you feel this way.

[here4fun1]

I feel sorry for all of the people leaving such poor comments. You are so limited in your thinking and being, keep looking at image and see how dead your lives will be. For those of u who want to b enlightened watch this vid &/or check out my favourites. "Discover the Spirit Within: Intro Raja Yoga Meditation" We r spiritual beings, do urselves a favour and look deeper into that!!

[2tiredofbs]

Thanks so much for responding! I think your truly beautiful and I love your hair the way it is. It suits you very nicely!

[ThePurplePalace]

Afro's are dead cool. But maybe I wouldn't be saying that if I had one myself? I don't know...guess I never will :) But I like them anyways.

[love4stl4sho]

Great video! I can tel it really came from your heart, and I agree...it is sad!

[2ideas]

ESPECIALLY after so much change, but maybe we haven't changed enough yet.

[amandamorgan5]

I've worn my hair short and now its extremely long. I rarely use heat on my hair. Black people need to OWN OURSELVES and OUR BEAUTY

[yupin3]

thank you...OWN OURSELVES...i like that...i effin like that. PREACH!!!!

[sexysensation]

Some people are so superficial, shallow, vain and egotisical! We'll never change that I guess but what is it with some (not all) Black people and hair? UK same deal, People we need to focus more on what's in our heads and less on what's on our heads. By the way you're fine just as you are but then again you didn't need me to tell you that - God Bless :)

[CrystalKeeper]

You are a beautiful woman!

[lkspence]

I appreciate your openness and your honesty as well. But I'd like you to consider something. As hard as it must be growing up being black and female, the scholarship suggests that black women not only do not have self-esteem problems, but that they have more self-esteem than their white counterparts. This appears to be born out in other ways--we don't see the same degree of anorexia in black women for example. How do you reconcile this?

[CrzyCatDC]

1. Black women do suffer from eating disorders, but often they are undiagnosed because people buy into this myth. Another reason is misdiagnoses. Obesity and overeating are eating disorders.

2. Black women suffer from other mental disorders, especially depression. These often go untreated because psychiatry is taboo in the Black community (we often don't trust community outsiders and they're aren't a lot of Black psychologists in urban Black communities) or we can't afford it.

[CrzyCatDC]

3. Black women have more confidence within our communities, but often to make it in this world, we have to go to majority white schools and communities where our beauty is not appreciated so you can't say one group has more self-esteem than others. On top of that, we don't see ourselves appreciated in the media at all...unless you're Halle Berry and wear a size 2 or you're Beyonce and you use make-up to lighten your skin and dye your hair blond.

[lkspence]

You can say that one group has more self-esteem than the others....particularly if research on the subject shows this over and over again.

[CrzyCatDC]

As a sociologist, I can tell you that it all depends on context, the perspective of the researcher, etc. Self-esteem and confidence can be expressed in different ways and over/under-exaggerated.

Not saying that it can't be true. Just saying that I would take it with a grain of salt. Being a black female, I know that what passes for confidence can really be insecurity in disguise. Black women are very good at hiding our emotions and true feelings.

[zahrawil]

that is so deep - I am so impressed with your openess, I have contemplated leaving a response and still have not