NHL Star Called Up To Big Leagues To Play For NFL

[coreyjar23]

NFL > any other sport. but americans know that unfortunately. (i'm canadian)

[coreyjar23]

lol i love how he was called up to the dolphins.

[Jtunes12]

you think i thought this was real I know its fake.

[ccoollkkiidd]

It's 2012 and the police are still in Detroit... WHAT HAPPENED TO CHANGE!

[Jtunes12]

I live in michigan and hockey is popular.

[AcHtUm30]

@Jtunes12 your a fucking idiot. the onion is a joke. they always rash on hockey.

[SolaireofAstoria]

nfl is a bunch of padded pussies rubbing up against each other you want a brutal sport go for hockey

[AmericanNohbuddy]

@SolaireofAstoria

They wear pads in NHL...

[pennelia16]

Ah... Americans

[AmericanNohbuddy]

@pennelia16

No one cares about Hockey outside of Canada and a few northern cities in the US.

[mrwibbles1]

This is brilliant satire.



[SillyPutty30]

Haha awesome video. Hockey sucks camel dicks

[TheYouwontgetit]

well nfl players don't get paid more... ...and you can definately play hockey a lot longer than football...

[DJK290]

Reggie Greengrass...lawl

[tml4873]

@bnots13 Maybe the joke is the perception of the NHL by the average American, in which case it's spot on.

[MaxxTheSlash]

@tml4873

I dunno about that. I live in Buffalo, New York (home team is the Sabers) and we're so close to Canada that Buffalo has a hockey addiction that comes pretty close to rivaling Canada's. We probably inherited it from Toronto and Ontario Canadians who moved to Buffalo years ago.

Anyway, I think the downplaying of the importance of Hockey as a sport that is shown in this video is just the opinion of The Onion themselves, not necessarily Americans as a collective.

[ItayoMan]

Greengrass got to be the best last name ever..

[Nickdiaublow]

I swear to god the onion must have a huge team of writers to come up with this shit! :)))

[potn586]

You idiots are really arguing over an Onion video?

[rebekahah]

Lol covering all things sports... And hockey. That made my day :D

[GriffinSst]

Honestly, fuck football

In highschool I used to get into daily arguements with football players over how retarded their sport is.

They thought they were all badass and shit; and riddle me this:

How does it make sense that football, the sport where they play for 10 seconds and rest for a full minute is tougher than a sport where: fighting is legal, players move twice as fast as opposed to running, and everyone has a pair of knives on their shoes?

Hockey FTW

[The222watcher]

sHUT UP IDIOT aMERICANS PLAY HOCKEY... THE GUY THEY TALKED ABOUT WAS aMERICANS.

[BoSuLLy34]

Haha, what a bunch of dumb Yankees. I play hockey and football, and in my opinion, hockey is 10 times better than football. It is also a lot harder to play than football. So, go fuck yourself and actually play hockey before you trash it you fat mother fuckers. Hockey is, by far, more of a sport than football is, and will ever be!

[ShotgunDiplomat]

@BoSuLLy34 Ok first of all, not ever American plays for that New York based baseball team. That's absurd. Second of all, hockey is for pussies that can't fight on the streets so they take it to an ice rink where they can get in touch with their feminine side by figure skating all at the same time. Third of all...not all American's are fat. It's about a 49/51% margin and most are only fat in the months between November (Thanksgiving) and June (when the sun comes out). We hibernate. Moron.

[BoSuLLy34]

@ShotgunDiplomat Well the nickname for Americans is Yankees you dumb fuck. Also it is way fucking harder to fight on ice then on the street and hockey is not for pussies, do football players loose half their teeth and get hit in the face with hockey pucks? I don't think so.. On to your next point, the United States is the most obese country in the world! So get your facts straight before you call me a 'moron', you stupid, arrogant and ignorant American.

[ShotgunDiplomat]

@BoSuLLy34 Do...you...even understand sarcasm? You just demonstrated your intelligence by taking my comment to that level of seriousness. And I'm stupid? Ok. Yeah.

[BoSuLLy34]

@ShotgunDiplomat Yes, i do understand sarcasm, but your just not very good at it. The only reason you said you were being 'sarcastic' is because you have lost the argument and you are embarrassed about it. So shut the fuck up before you get out-smarted again.

[ShotgunDiplomat]

@BoSuLLy34 Are you serious? You really ARE a dumb motherfucker aren't you. If you actually believe that I was serious about any of those statements...I'm just shaking my head right now. You think that's the first time I've been called a Yankee or a Yank? And then I go to talk about humans hibernating? Seriously dude, get a fucking clue.

[mikeman0124]

Piss me the fuck off. Football fucks go for 10 seconds and get a 40 second break and the other half of the time your chillin on the sideline. Plus they have a 8 or 9 month off season to train we get 3.

[macarthur19]

@mikeman0124 You do realize your watching the Onion?

[ElBarto3131]

"Police hope to pull out of Detroit by 2012" lmfao that line is better than the rest of the video.

[grant93321]

this ones not funny it should be the other way around

[BGrox9]

NHL hockey player to go to NFL football?!?!?!? wtf im rlly confusedd

[mizeri4life108]

@BGrox9 in other words, hockey's a sport, but it's a minor sport compairing to the others

[GeibelGators]

Hockey is so much more harder to play than football. I know this is a joke, but this pisses a lot of hockey fans off.

[aquathing1]

@GeibelGators

more harder?

maybe hockey fans should learn basic grammar.

[TSwiftFan1995]

So fucking stupid. Hockey is 100 times better than football. Capitals have the best crowd in whole NHL

[Am4h8]

this is an outrage, its 2012 and we still have cops in detroit!

[Fidothedog11212]

@Am4h8 might wanna check a calendar homie

[Am4h8]

@Fidothedog11212 whoops LOL

[misanthrophes]

thing that got me the most - police hope to pull out of Detroit Michigan, as if theyre on a peace keeping mission XD

[durpinator]

Ovechkin > Henne

[iLuvDl2unk3nlvlunkey]

lmao...hes um skating, and hes moving the the puck around

[winofish]

the Leafs are famous now!!! yay!!

[oOquicksilver12Oo]

"covering all things sports and hockey too"

[kgg911]

Forgive me god for i will sin

[JAyala9703]

I love the NHL but to most Atlanta and Phoenix fans, this is real news.

[rwjsidneycrosby]

this is pretty damn funny. even as an nhl fan, this is damn funny.

[okie1719]

Not sure why everyone is getting all up in arms about this... I am an avid Ovechkin fan and a hockey player myself. This is hilarious.

[laurentperron1]

@jtknobel chill out man, theyre just joking around. The Onion is a fake news station and just make fun of everything, like south park or the simpsons. in case you already knew that, take it easy and realize they dont mean what they say. im a die hard nhl fan and I think this shits hilarious

[ktornado]

HAHA I love hockey and could careless about every other sport cause they all suck compared to hockey but this is some funny shit. I love it

[Spammmz]

lmao the marlies

[rangerfreak616]

lol i love these videos even though I am a huge hockey fan... gotta learn to laugh at urself sometimes

[thegolesify]

LOL the police will pull out of detroit by 2012! XD

[TestierCanine22]

wtf what the hell are they retarded its the nhl and that wasnt ovetchkin this is stupid

[TheWitchOvAgnesi]

@TestierCanine22 Jeez... you know this is a joke right? The Onion is a farce... a comedy.

[blindthrall]

@TestierCanine22 It is you who are the retarded. Parody should be made study of by you.

[msingh96]

@TestierCanine22

calm down it's a joke

[armbar541]

I love hockey. In fact, I watch tons more hockey than football and really prefer it. But this shit was funny.

[flashkidx]

umm NHL isn't a bad sport

[ubermensch826]

@flashkidx that's because it's not a sport

it's a league.

[Olimast99]

Haha, funny that a fringe sport trying to make a laugh at NHL.

[ccman0202]

This video is way off. Ovie doesn't rape enough women or kill enough dogs to even have a sniff at making the NFL.

[alexglauer]

I'm from Detroit and I love the NHL, but this is hilarious!

[munches13]

hahaha this is hilarious i love hockey and football and i almost pissed my pants laughing onion is hilarious

[NORTHERNKONFLIKT]

haha. onion is the best

[amaclellan3]

hey i love soccer and i laughed my ass off at that soccer video

[SuperTugz]

9/10. This would be funnier if the NHL didn't sell out more games than the NBA.

[graemelockieable]

"Covering all things sports & hockey too." ... comedic timing & understated hilarity at it's best!

[RunningP123456]

hahahahah "how do you think Ovechkin will handle playing in front of a crowd" i love this, Hockey fucking rules

[BigO8872]

Haha man a double whammy... Detroit raised hockey fan. Well played Onion, well played.

[leafsrthebombshiznit]

lol the highlights r of the ahl toronto marlies haha

[MargaritavilleHockey]

"and are we looking at Ovechkin here? I think so Michael"... hilarious

[Luckyhearts]

hahaha. none of those guys were ovi

[MrAOvechkin]

hahahahahah shit

[Scarecrowman27]

IT HAD A LITTLE NOTE ON THE BOTTOM CORNER LIKE SPORTS CENTER AND IT WAS LIKE "BETMANN INVENTED HOCKEY IN 1991"

[Scarecrowman27]

LOLOL OMG BIGGEST HOCKEY FAN, BUT THESE VIDEOS ARE SO FUNNY DUDE. I SEEN THE ONE LAST NIGHT WHEN BETMAN KIDNAPPED HIMSELF ..... AND THEY WERE LIKE SOME GAME PLAYED ON ICE SO OBLIVIOUS TO HOCKEY IT'S HILARIOUS

[TimeWastedWell]

haha this is stupid NHL kills NFL all day

[derickhaywood]

did this not happen last year some guy from the NHL started playing football. it might have been the other way around tho...

[lesykt]

lmao i love hockey

[Hockeyrivs2]

Detroit part hillarious! Go hockey! Respect to all other sports

[bw905]

Thing is most hockey players could play football well, but I doubt any of those nfl tubs of lard could last 2 mins in an nhl game. Let alone stand on the ice.

[samauripizzacats101]

@bw905 tub of lards? have you watched football

[bantms]

@bw905 haha bull crap. You have no idea what you're even talking about idiot. Most NHL guys would get crushed if they played football. Most NFL players would have a hard time skating well. Don't be stupid it's a two way street.

[swiger530]

funniest part of the whole thing

[swiger530]

1:39

[quinnyb1886]

i play hockey but thats fucking hilarious

[SWEEE333EEET]

"is this ovechkin we're seeing here?"

"um, yes, yes i think so"

(every clip is of a different team)

[WahooWa1819]

as a Caps fan that funny stuff lol

[Tigerfan31200]

Idk how many of you are hockey fans but football all the way!

[icejetsrok]

I'm a hockey fan and that was the funniest thing I've ever seen

[ChrisMoodie91]

whos ovechkin?

[coophomie]

lol. obviously they're just joking. he said ovechkin can finally make a paycheck. but the guys in the nhl make millions of dollars

[elk832]

So does this mean Soccer athletes have their hopes on the NHL?

[senssuck24163]

I guess these jokes make sense in the states?

in Canada there is nothing bigger than hockey, so I'm really confused..

I guess this is what happens when you live above a country that has ten times your population.. dickholes...

[RRgoalie37]

Ovie > Crosby

[hockeywall2]

@RRgoalie37 whos won a cup? whos leader in goals and points?.. yea might wana change tht to a less than sign...

[andzanny]

ha



[lukendaman]

bob probert would have been a better player for the nfl than a. o.

the nhl protects there superstars but the enforcers in the league protect themselves!

[TheHockeyPlayinGamer]

@lukendaman lol totally right probert, laraque, brashear, domi. lol

[TheHockeyPlayinGamer]

@lukendaman lol totally right probert, laraque, brashear, domi. lol and chris simon, aaron asham colton orr

[lukendaman]

@TheHockeyPlayinGamer or better yet, put the ravens defense on the ice with any semi pro team and see what happens, that would be classic lol

[MrRookie26]

hes so lucky

[larcomstopher]

so much hate between sports. They are completely different, quit comparing them.

other than that, this video is hilarious.

[terrazzo82]

Advertising ruined Hockey. The media can say what they want. If major sponsors pull their time slots from regular games, the pyramid falls. This is true. NBA was having a rough time so Budweiser Nike and every other big guy, stepped in and flooded it with Adds. Now instead of doing that with Hockey they just let it crumble and you can even catch a random hockey game on too much because most major networks have dropped it. Oh, but when it gets close to CUP time they all seem to come around Huh? -

[coolcat973]

this is the only onion video that i don't like

[snizelpop]

i know this is a joke but i mean hockey is so much harder than football and so much more manly a football player has a vagina compared to a hockey player

[ElBarto3131]

"police hope to pull out of Detroit Michigan by the year 2012" lmfao

[zepper0800]

Hockey > Football (exponentially) But this is funny.

[masik7290]

@zepper0800 hockey isnt really a sport, its like badminton, or ping pong, no wait ping pong is more exciting

[Xx50calxX]

football players are not athlete's

[byrnes2010]

@Xx50calxX And what sport has athlete's?

[Xx50calxX]

@byrnes2010 Diffently say curling

[masik7290]

@Xx50calxX really and i suppose skating on ice while wearing a tutu, uhmmm i mean hockey jersey is a sport

[Xx50calxX]

@masik7290 and wearing tights and feeling each others asses

[BearsHockey18]

@masik7290 do me a favor and watch some NHL hits before criticizing it.. Hockey is tougher physically then any other sport/\. dont hate on it you would get destroyed in the nhl

[masik7290]

@BearsHockey18 still boring as fuck to watch i put it down there with nascar and eating competitions

[sparwood8]

Done well. LOL @ Police and Detroit

[Kirzan66]

He's uhhh... he's skating.............

LOL

[guttershark05]

I love hockey and dislike football, but this was great :P

[hampzuz]

Hahaha i was lmao at the footage

[wingnut000003]

What the hell, I play hockey and I'm from Detroit.

[johnsoncody17]

@wingnut000003 Hahahahah it was aimed at you

[suburbanindie]

The Onion... making hilarious commentary for people to stupid to get the joke.

YOU KNOW IT'S A JOKE, RIGHT?

[andyllamanipl]

Hehehe.... This is pretty funny, despite the fact that A) Those vids are not or Ovi, and B) I am an insane hockey fan.

[JsMcGrath3]

hahahahahahah the ending is funny

[chitownsportsfan1]

I know this is fake, but it's not like The Onion isn't voicing any opinion, they are actually trying to say that football is better and harder than hockey? What the fucking bloody ass hell! I just honestly tried out for the football team with no organized experience whatsoever and made the freaking A team! I am still yet to find enough skill to try out for hockey after 5 years of decent experience!

[LocoGroove]

@chitownsportsfan1 True. Hockey is much harder to learn...

[ZaneBoven]

@chitownsportsfan1 Your school must not win a lot =/ sorry

[TheWitchOvAgnesi]

LOL.. brutal. "...fans depending on you. It's not just mom and dad anymore."

This is fucking hilarious.

[clayman1919]

we dont have no 500 lbs players in hockey. lol

[0Cozman0]

LOL! Are we looking at ovechkin here? My wife has a pair of those...rollerblades.

[stanstanwong]

WTF !!! thats so not ovechkin in the vids

[godsfuneral]

I hope ovi will make it!

[canadian7233]

wow if ovechkin watched this he would prolly leave the usa, like how he walked away from team russia these last olympics lol

[micfiends]

lol how do you think ovechkin will react to playing in-front of a crowd?

[thewikmann]

I like how Hockey fans can take a joke unlike soccer fans. Check out the onions soccer video.

[link20115]

@thewikmann HEY FOOTBALL (soccer) FANS CAN TAKE A JOKE DI- oh wait

[J4ROM4]

@thewikmann thats really because there isnt any NHL fans

[shoplifting1is1fun]

@thewikmann

Exactly. Love hockey but this is hilarious. "It's not just mom and dad anymore"

[Kyle899]

finally making a pay cheque. up from 9 million a year

[bobbycole10]

Hold On, What the fuck are these guys on about, "when ovechkin came to the NHL did he ever think he make it professional" ?? i'm pretty sure if your in the NHL you are pro... then the other guy go you going up against a bunch of guys who all wanna make it to the NFL ??? Seriously c'mon they don't have a clue what they're saying :S

[CookieMMMonster]

@bobbycole10 its a joke lol. I'm a huge hockey fan but this is still pretty funny.

[CenturyCharactar]

@bobbycole10 hey good job on thinking that this is a real newscast. You must be really smart. You must have a great sense of humor.

[ChargersLVII]

@bobbycole10

I see you completely caught onto the joke

[MadOldPete]

@bobbycole10 you're 24 and you think this is real?

LMFAO!

[gkjones91]

@bobbycole10 lolololol. this guy has downs?

[97mrman]

@daverkid18 i guess its funny bt hockey IS an awesome sport

[ElBarto3131]

lmfao that was the Toronto Marlies.

[lypunkdud20]

lol most of that footy wasnt even ovi

[Chad90909]

@lypunkdud20

none of it was

[daverkid18]

@lypunkdud20 LOL(i) i love(i) when ppl speak(i) with Word(ies) that have y's and i's on the end(ies). You're a nub(i)

[lypunkdud20]

@daverkid18 lol all i said was footy and his nickname is ovi. nubi.

[RBZatlas]

Giving them a shot for their money.

[ahmingah]

haha of course its the leafs/marlies

[97mrman]

this is very sad make fun of curling hockey is a great sport

[daverkid18]

@97mrman oh you don't think this is funny... how does sidney crosbys shaft taste?

[MrSchennsational]

16 game season....thats pretty rough

[clayman1919]

haha fuck the NFL. 2 mins of plays 5 mins of replays. lol

[PeppersSmith08]

hahaha police say they want to pull out of Detroit, Michigan by 2012

[alanbalfe]

This has more to do with americans making fun of themselves

[personM4N]

Going from 82 games with best of 4 playoffs to 16 games and 1 win playoffs? Lucky bastard.

[Antherius47]

Ovechkin is so win, he can play football too! ._.

[10Bonk16]

Verywell done I love hockey and hate all the others like that other guy commented and yea it's still hilArious

[back2thefutre]

My wiener into a vagina

[MRADrummer]

"Covering all things sports... and hockey."

Lmao. I love hockey and I can barely stand football, let alone basketball... But come on this is hilarious. If you aren't laughing at this, you're pathetic and have no sense of humor whatsoever. Ovi would suck at football haha

[McIntyreMedia]

@MRADrummer Same! I love hockey and can't stand football. But you have to appreciate the video is funny.

[Greatkingrat88]

@MRADrummer Or, you're just not into sports.

[troyMLG]

You can be really out of shape and play football. You just need to be over 6 foot and fat as fuck and you will make it big. Hockey and football are me fave sports but I have been raised on hockey and IMO its the fastest most intense sport in the world.

[gingersonthehill]

You are unbelievably wrong

[PittsburghArab]

I love hockey and I thought this was funny I mean dang people need to chill it's a joke haha

haha i love that people take offense to this. its a damn joke lighten up