Dan Savage on A Guy in His 40s that Hasn't Had Sex in 8 Years

[RWG13100]

havent had sex in 16 years....

[trojan73bcn]

Wooo GO IU!!!

[reyl18]

if you miss having sex, so its a problem, but if you tend to be more assexual and doesnt mind living without it, there is no problem.

[oscrthgrch7]

I'm 46, the last time I got lucky I was 23. Of course I'm depressed, who wouldn't be? I don't think anyone I'd be interested in would be interested in me. I wish I were dead.

[sroyle01]

@oscrthgrch7 if you dont ask a lady to meet up with you then a lady will never know you wanted her to meet you

[LichQueenKathie]

@oscrthgrch7 My advice is pretty much the same as the last guy's. If you strive for companionship, don't lock yourself into this negative spiral of thinking people don't like you therefore they stay away and they stay away because they dislike you. You just got to get up and ask someone out. It's not hard. Will you get rejected? Possibly. Will you find someone? Almost certainly.

Cling to hope hon. Hope is what keeps you going when you have depression. And fear of death of course.

[ReadingDave]

I'm in my 40s and I have never had sex. Sex seems like it has no substance to me now. Storks and cabbage patch kids seem to be as likely causes for babys. I know in reality this isn't true, but I feel I don't have an oppertunity to know what being sexual is about.

[Aicirt8]

Lol, Dan is hilarious

[yunikage]

I haven't had sex in 3 years. Mainly because my standards are "too high". Basically I'm someone who looks average who isn't attracted to other average looking people. I'd rather not get laid than sleep with people who don't do it for me. Some people would get desperate and lower their standards, but for whatever reason I don't. It doesn't really bother me that much. I get horny, but I don't get lonely.

[LichQueenKathie]

@yunikage You sound perfectly normal to me :) I don't know all the details, but I'd say if you're not "feeling the detrement" as it were, you have no reason to TRY to have sex. It's a big misconception in society that psychologists say that sex is needed for a healthy mind. It IS needed, but not every weekend xD I'd say if you get into a decade without having sex, start worrying :P

[kyoujinkrista2]

That's so true!



[owlcu]

If a guy is at least somewhat attractive and hasn't had sex for many years, most likely it's because he's depressed. The problem is that not having sex creates more depression, which makes him less attractive, so it's a vicious cycle. The only way to break out of a vicious cycle is to stop making sense out of it. It's called a mind-fuck. Happiness is not logical.

[XxSkyPirateBunansaxX]

I have a rather odd an possibly innappropriate/personal question...

Is Dan the man or the woman in his relatinship..~?

o_o It's been bugging me for quite some time... XD

[KikixLarou]

@XxSkyPirateBunansaxX Really? That's ignorant. They're both men. How can a man be a woman in the relationship?

[feythinsane]

Man. They're both men, and thus both men in the relationship.

I think you're trying to ask which one is the top and which one is the bottom, and I wouldn't know.

[AnonymousFortune]

Sex is great but it's not the real thing.

[garion333]

Come again . . . ?

[thepdw]

@garion333 That's what she said.

[fiorastar]

Dan, news flash...women do NOT like "projects". We are sick of "projects" and yes, I personally would definitely run from a guy who timidly told me he hasn't had a girlfriend in 8 years. There are usually some problems there under the surface that I just no longer need the drama of.

[Cheespuffs45]

It was a joke, Einstein. Plus it is true for many women, but maybe not you. Since when have you represented EVERY woman???

[valkerian]

Women, fair warning: get a tetanus shot before he sticks you with that rusty thing.

[losmeme]

November, 2002 was the last time for me. Sex is so overrated.

[CeruleanxSins]

i love you dan. soso much <3

[FluidDeconstructor]

I haven't had sex for 6 years, one gets used to it...

[fireangel0428]

Poor poor you I haven't had sex in 6 hours I still ain't use to it.

[FluidDeconstructor]

Being gay is an automatic celibacy for most gays.

[ShinobiBoi88]

Yeeeaaaaah...

PLEASE expound on this statement.

Furthermore, do you speak experience, or is this a claim?

[FluidDeconstructor]

It's a fact, based on the percentage of gay people, geographical location, cultural marginality and social mobility.

Combine these 4 things together and you get default state of celibacy for most gays.

[kiwisunshine5233]

And just how are you defining celibacy?

[stophthecomputerwiz]

@FluidDeconstructor If we are talking all the gays in the world, then yes. If it's the US or Europe, etc we have "gay communities" or other areas that are popular with those who are gay (parts if San Francisco being the most well known).

Plus, there's also this thing called the internet where there are sites dedicated to gay males finding partners and getting laid

[honeyxbee18]

sigh it blows ):

I get offers but they're all ugly

some of us have standards, dan. standards.

[CarissaXo99]

@honeyxbee18 If you have the need to be picky you haven't been without sex long enough.

[ccm800]

@FluidDeconstructor Are you satisfied with that?