I hear you, ever since my panic attacks ramped up a few years ago I have been on this page...I can see how some patients commit suicide, but I have never been like that. I don't wanna go into the afterlife like that just in case, lol...God might not like that. What keeps me going is just the slim hope that I can change my life & make it fun again. Just that hope has kept me at least working on it. With everybody else going about thier business, supporting kids, having fun, it can be tough.
A lot of people realize that they are stuck in a rut but don't do anything about it in terms of finding something to do to get out of it... like, have you thought about getting a gym membership? If you get physically in shape you will biologically start to feel better due to chemicals released during exercise. You might start feeling like you are working towards something. We live in our bodies, why not becoming stronger mentally by becoming stronger physically? It could help.
And, you know, the change is not about a looong and hard process of alchemy of the soul and mind :), it's about will, your will. I know it's easier to get it when we have a defined goal, but, there's no way you don't have any, it's just you are inmersed in a blurred cloud of indefinition. That's why you should pay special atention what happens round you, coz, when we don't find answers inside us, sometimes it's easier to grasp them out. Just watch, clues are everywhere all the time ...
god... I've been out of the youtube thing for months... good sign I guess...)
I don't thing this will make you feel different but, what you feel, what you think and what you fear about how the future will be for you have been hounding people's thoughts since human beings became human beings. To go on and on over the same issues won't help to reach the change your are waiting for.
Fortunately, as you are the reason of your ills, you are the root of the solution.
What if you did some volunteer work for a few hours a week. It would probably cause major anxiety at first, but once you got into the routine, things would settle down nicely. Plus it can be very rewarding emotionally too, and might help you out of the depression.
I've been feeling the same way lately. I really don't see much point in going on. Yet I'm too much of a coward to ever end it by myself. Like you, I would love it something happened, but I realize that if I want something to happen, I have to make it happen. But I have no idea what to do. I can't connect to anyone, ever. I'm always alone, with my thoughts. And it's been going on for so long... I've been thinking about seeking out a good therapist, because I know I will not figure this out alone.
Chris, I really feel your pain in this video because recently, things have been along the same lines for me, too. It really sucks. I went basically five years in college and have an IT degree only now, I'm making around 9.00 an hour because I'm back in school due to not finding anything worth a fudge. I wish I had something better to say, but due to this wonderful economy and problems which went unabated, we're now the generation of suffering. I hope things change for us all.
"People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. I don't think that's what we're really seeking. I think what we're seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive." - Joseph Campbell
Life is action I think. I don't know your circumstance but I enjoy your vids, appreciate your thoughts and wish you all the best. :)
You have a degree in Graphic Design correct? If you can save up some money and try moving to a different state. You need to start a new life somewhere else. Believe me I feel the same way as you sometimes. You need a plan a goal, and trust me all these negative thoughts will dramatically decrease. You're still young, all you need is a new goal in life.I would first leave that shit hole state called Michigan as my first goal. Stay strong and believe me things will get better but you need a plan.
The thing is, I don't know if moving to a different state would really change much as I am now. I might still just be just as alone if not worse. I really don't even know how to begin anything like that at all. Maybe eventually I will get to that stage of moving away, but that's a very big step for right now.
I was in a similar situation until I realized I was just perpetuating my circumstance by over-analyzing everything. It's better to be the participant than the observer.
i feel like killing myself alot, but i wont cause im a coward, i just want a girlfriend, but girls dont know im alive, so.....
jdogg8830 3 weeks ago
I hear you, ever since my panic attacks ramped up a few years ago I have been on this page...I can see how some patients commit suicide, but I have never been like that. I don't wanna go into the afterlife like that just in case, lol...God might not like that. What keeps me going is just the slim hope that I can change my life & make it fun again. Just that hope has kept me at least working on it. With everybody else going about thier business, supporting kids, having fun, it can be tough.
PugBuddyDuck 1 year ago
A lot of people realize that they are stuck in a rut but don't do anything about it in terms of finding something to do to get out of it... like, have you thought about getting a gym membership? If you get physically in shape you will biologically start to feel better due to chemicals released during exercise. You might start feeling like you are working towards something. We live in our bodies, why not becoming stronger mentally by becoming stronger physically? It could help.
jazzmatik 1 year ago
Man, you are me in a nutshell. You couldn't have explained my life any better then that.
ivanahumpalot420 2 years ago
And, you know, the change is not about a looong and hard process of alchemy of the soul and mind :), it's about will, your will. I know it's easier to get it when we have a defined goal, but, there's no way you don't have any, it's just you are inmersed in a blurred cloud of indefinition. That's why you should pay special atention what happens round you, coz, when we don't find answers inside us, sometimes it's easier to grasp them out. Just watch, clues are everywhere all the time ...
SemosDeMonforte 2 years ago
god... I've been out of the youtube thing for months... good sign I guess...)
I don't thing this will make you feel different but, what you feel, what you think and what you fear about how the future will be for you have been hounding people's thoughts since human beings became human beings. To go on and on over the same issues won't help to reach the change your are waiting for.
Fortunately, as you are the reason of your ills, you are the root of the solution.
SemosDeMonforte 2 years ago
What if you did some volunteer work for a few hours a week. It would probably cause major anxiety at first, but once you got into the routine, things would settle down nicely. Plus it can be very rewarding emotionally too, and might help you out of the depression.
mznxb9872 2 years ago
I've been feeling the same way lately. I really don't see much point in going on. Yet I'm too much of a coward to ever end it by myself. Like you, I would love it something happened, but I realize that if I want something to happen, I have to make it happen. But I have no idea what to do. I can't connect to anyone, ever. I'm always alone, with my thoughts. And it's been going on for so long... I've been thinking about seeking out a good therapist, because I know I will not figure this out alone.
Deathinmusic 2 years ago
Chris, I really feel your pain in this video because recently, things have been along the same lines for me, too. It really sucks. I went basically five years in college and have an IT degree only now, I'm making around 9.00 an hour because I'm back in school due to not finding anything worth a fudge. I wish I had something better to say, but due to this wonderful economy and problems which went unabated, we're now the generation of suffering. I hope things change for us all.
caseyburk 2 years ago
"People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. I don't think that's what we're really seeking. I think what we're seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive." - Joseph Campbell
Life is action I think. I don't know your circumstance but I enjoy your vids, appreciate your thoughts and wish you all the best. :)
fieldODreams 2 years ago
Very nice quote. Yeah, I think that's what I really want, something that makes me feel alive...
ConsciousCloud 2 years ago
You have a degree in Graphic Design correct? If you can save up some money and try moving to a different state. You need to start a new life somewhere else. Believe me I feel the same way as you sometimes. You need a plan a goal, and trust me all these negative thoughts will dramatically decrease. You're still young, all you need is a new goal in life.I would first leave that shit hole state called Michigan as my first goal. Stay strong and believe me things will get better but you need a plan.
yankee4321 2 years ago
The thing is, I don't know if moving to a different state would really change much as I am now. I might still just be just as alone if not worse. I really don't even know how to begin anything like that at all. Maybe eventually I will get to that stage of moving away, but that's a very big step for right now.
ConsciousCloud 2 years ago
Damn dude I can relate to pretty much everything that you say!
Right now I feel like I'm just existing rather than living. I'm pretty much just waiting to die (since there's no way I'd kill myself).
Oh well, it's good to know I'm not the only one who feels like this (not that I would wish SA on anybody else lol)
BlackHawkDown1989 2 years ago
You gotta dictate your own reality bro.
I was in a similar situation until I realized I was just perpetuating my circumstance by over-analyzing everything. It's better to be the participant than the observer.
Sroek 2 years ago 2