hey ur funny,could you do something from Jesus? Like some of his healings or times that he said "how long do I have to deal with you" or "ye of little faith". I chuckle every time i read him saying it.
LOL. you pick on bible versus....how weak. try picking on Gods grand design, consider what it is to be infinite. consider science and the beginning of the universe as we know it.
"it is he who has revealed the book to you, some of it's versus are precise in meaning, they are the foundation of the book. And some are ambiguous.Those who's hearts are infected with dis-belief observe the ambiguous parts as so to create dissension among men" - The Imrans.
I thought only the most holy people could handle the box. Even Unworthy Hebrews would die on the spot if they touched it. How did the philistines manage to steal it? And move it several times............ Gods wrath is painful and itchy.. LOL
I keep reading these comments on here saying that this guy is "disrespecting God"....... Seriously?
I mean, how else are we supposed to tell a Bible story? Have a jolly old man read it with a constant smile on his face and have soothing music in the background? Face it guys, your Bible isn't all flowers and rainbows. And when you comment on videos with guys telling the story how it is and you get all pissed, it only shows others what your real motivation is.
i am amazed how you found the plague that struk them in thier private area funy,do you think if that was true and GOD did that, his view of the private area is just like yours? you know kind of funy or freakish attitud?please keep reading the bible you know there is a reason 4 every thing.
@jhweh2007 There is indeed a reason for everything, including punctuation and basic spelling norms. Proof of God? Nothing concrete. Proof reading? Worth a go.
@MsJennyJuniper well i speak four languages,english is my fourth. now how many languages can you speak my proud american?i bet you're a proud american right? oh buy the way still learning more languages.and if you're ever out side the US i can trade you for a donkey ,and with out you knowing it.
@jhweh2007 No I definately am not American. A different continent. Fair play to you, if English is your fourth language. I speak only 3 well, so depending on which language you trade in, I may accept that donkey.... Still, I worry that you, and indeed so many, are so unwilling to accept critical examination (in whatever form, including humour) of the text on which your belief system is based.
@MsJennyJuniper well i guess i need a copy of your birth cer.....ya right.that's what makes my belief system so pure,nothing to hide it's all there.we can clean it up if you would like for your taste.hmmmmm.
ramansten9 i think you are very right. Im not picking a fight with anyone im just here to say the world was not formed by 2 rocks. There is a god, he did create this world and there is a heaven and a hell. its as real as you and me. There will come a time when its too late to ask for forgiveness. please dont wait.
From someone that doesn't believe the Bible, he sure spends a lot of time talking about it. (even if he was a former Christian) looks like he is still searching for something more in his life.
Peace to mankind? Maybe he knows that getting rid of religion is the quickest way to a more loving world? And using his already found knowledge is his best way to help his fellow man?! That's what I believe.
I wonder on judgement day when you are face to face with our Heavenly father what would you say? I didn't know the truth? you still have time to repentant son.. I will pray for you.
what the fuck! an atheist got a promotion at work?! clearly the all powerful lord has been slacking on smiting sinners. thats ok, god can get lazy sometimes
All powerful god...and.......haemorrhoids, that's it I'm converting now. Oh wait, god is foiled again by preparation H. The almighty wrath of god, alleviated by cooling soothing medicated wipes. Thanks Tucks.
dude your fucking awesome i love all your vids just shows how stupid Christians are to believe this shit. i dont think they read the old testament just the new and that is no better my sister in law said im a christian but i don't believe the old testament the new testament replace that book i was like what? i told her the old testament is the core of your faith that makes no sense but this isn't the first time i heard this, this is a common excuse for Christians of today.
hey man i just sent you scripture where Jesus tells you keep all the laws of the old testament.
On top of this we have no book of Jesus, why is this? Its because he never intended his followers to create a new bible as Jesus saw the Jewish books as the word of god.
671rAsTaGuAm... if the old testament is null and void, then Genesis is ruled out and we can all agree that the whole talking snake/world creation story is null and void - yes?
dnt read this(cuz it really wrks). u will gt kissd on the nearest frieday by the love of ur life. 2mara wll b the bst day of ur life hwever if you dnt post ths comment 2 at least 3 vids u will die withn 2 days nw uv startd readn this dnt stp this is so scary snd ths ovr 2 5 vids in 143 mins when ur done press f6 nd ur crush's name will appear
Christianirishnation, this mans daughter has nothing to do with the video. Having said that I believe you are the one who should be ashamed to have any sort of guiding role in a childs life for having them actually believe in a silly religeon such as your own. I would much rather have a child raised by an athiest than a christian or a muslim or even a jew. the child probably wouldnt grow up to be an idealistic bigot
azsuperman01, I just HAVE to tell you...You're my new hero! I have so many , though. The competition is stiff. Pat Condell, the late GREAT George Carlin, Jack Nicholson, George W, Bush (who did more to retard the oppressive advance of fundie shit, every time he opened his mouth)...the list is long. Oh yeah, can't forget Theologikos...but you're my main man these days. Keep the enlightenment coming. Great stuff! May the birds of paradise fly up your arse. That IS a compliment, don'tcha know...
ChristianIrishNation,...all I can say to you is (and I'm being exceedingly kind here) What a fucking ASSHOLE you are!!! You take the prize. Aear's supply of Preparation H,...you king-sized hemarrhoid, you!
Awesome story. Actually I had this one singled out for a video of my own, but just couldn't fucking work it out. Thanks for the explanation.... it.... uh... really makes sense now.... (??)
Hi AZSuperman and welcome back. Congrats on all the great things happening in your life!When was your little girl's Birthday? My little boy's first Birthday was 11th March. Do they share a Birthday?
Thanks for a wonderful video - I am still laughing 20 mins after watching it. Post another soon, please!
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i actually love god, that much, to where if said, "i'm sending you to hell, but you will never return" then so be it, that's how damn far i will go for my god asshole.
well ya know lamewing... It is true, not ALL christians are the "holy , righteous, Diving, Exquisite, Phenomenal" types of matter. Sure we are to strive after those things, but this IS what it is. WARS HEPPEN. and they have been for a very long time. shit happens to, get over it? thanks for the comment lamewing, even if it was insane sarcasm.
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you know there are two sides to god right? love and wrath? and in response to your other video, yeah i could tell her they were burning in hell. did you forget about the crusades you moron? ya know you should be lucky jesus did die for our sins. that way we wouldn't have to slaughter lambs.. or other people (like your self) to wash our sins. ( lol ) Maybe you should recap.And god is all TRUTH, the truth hurts, doesn't it???????
Welcome back my friend. Congrats on your lovely daughter's first year and your promotion. I remember reading this story, although I forgot the part about the 50k of the chosen ones. Thanks for drivig yet another nail into the coffin of my former xtianity
the NIV version (popular) uses the word "tumor" instead of hemorrhoid, but even if you check the alternate definitions of tumor, you get nothing that makes any sense at all.
Tumors has also been seen translated as plague, as in the bubonic plague. It also fits with the 'plague' of rats that decsended on the Phillistine's, if you can put two and two together
You shouldn't let such absurd stuff like this get into the hands of the public, then you & yahweh wouldn't get ridiculed! Or why don't U just do what the early fathers of the church did & just rewrite it. They only wanted certain books and teachings to be in the bible. You know, only stuff that reflects their views of what the Xian religion should say.
I love how people like you set out in a mocking tone and then throw up your hands when people say you're disrespecting them. Ahh, such is the life a hypocrit
Spark117 - LOL!! You turn telling stories from the Bible into "mocking Christians," then call me a hypocrite when I ask you to explain why! That is funny!
@Spark117 I never throw my hands up when stupid people say I'm disrespecting them. Because stupid people inherently disrespect me by insulting my intelligence and therefore deserve my mockery. It's my way of reflecting your stupidity back at you in the hope that it may enlighten you. So I only do it because I care. Think of it as a from of tough love.
@GodTheTruth Hey moron, fix your channel page. It states that "evolution is just a theory and not a fact", Wrong! The Truth is that evolution is a "scientific theory" and that makes it fact. Correct your mistake or you will be propagating a lie.
You christians are so plesant and lovely,,,NOT! By any chance are you a member of the Westboro Baptist Church? You know that loveable Fred Phelps? I bet you are a part of the Phelps klan and if not you share in his beliefs. How lovely of you christians to wish for us and even pray to your God that he throw us in Hell to burn for eternity. Stop trolling the atheist boards. Your scare tatics and religion based on fear and hatred and bigotry and your hateful comments wont change anyones mind.
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Ah pleasant. Just as you athiests are ;) judging by yours and ptica's posts I can tell that you athiests are just a swell bunch, not a bigotted or un-free-thinking bone in your collective body, nope, not one
spark117, what's the matter with you? Don't you recognise great humour when you see it? Hemorrhoids is far funnier than bubonic plague or 'plague of rats'. That's another trouble with Christians - no sense of humour. Honestly though, can you REALLY tell us that you BELIEVE silly stories like this? I mean, if one reads the Bible as fiction/humour, one can find a usefullness for the book. Try reading Song of Songs or 'Solomon's Songs'. It's hilarious. 'She has eyes like the fishpools of Heshbon'
Such hate is unbecoming of anyone, let alone someone who should be practicing what he believes in
Fight with your mind, not with your emotions. Too many believers are bending knee to others' beliefs to sate their own biggotry but hateful posts do nothing but show you will step down to their level,
I hope you don't have any kids... I sure would feel sorry for them! Funny how you christians just assume ur right just b/c of some book that proves nothing. Its one thing to believe in it, but another thing to be a complete dick about it and use the bible to tell people what u think will happen to them and their children like what you say even matters.
ticobassie, I agree that the whole Christian thing is just ridiculously stupid. I just wanted to give you a helping tip though,.. The word is 'death knell' and not 'death nail', as you wrote. The expression usually goes..."This (or that) sounds the death knell for Christianity (or whatever is soon ending).
has it been a year for superbaby? Oh it goes so fast!
now...let me get this straight...the ark goes to two cities which get hemorrhoids and then goes to the "chosen" people and they are KILLED (50K of them)...and WHO is supposed to be preferred by god?
KingJeathen - Obviously the Isrealites in Beth Shemesh were the chosen people. The Philistines had people killed AND they got hemorrhoids, the people of Beth Shemesh only had 50k people killed... no ass afflictions for survivors - that PROVES God loved them more.
Loved the video just like the previous 2 in this series. This is one of the most informative and humorous channels on the tube. I feel guilty for not reading the Bible like I'm supposed to, so I enjoy gaining biblical knowledge by watching these insightful videos. Every bible story is referenced at the beginning by AZ which is nice. I plan on retelling many of these, so thanks for the research and the time. Sometimes making an audience wait makes them appreciate the work more! Rock on.
who the fuck wrote this shit,surely this is enough to make any believer think twice,if not,then, like i suspected,the drug of religion is your misfortune,but someone elses fortune :) hehe
I think the Old Testament was hyjacked by Christians . If you look at the New Testament, the two books really don't go together to well. The Old is way more mythological in it's stories.
NKJV-It says tumors but the note at the bottom of the page explains that this might be the Plague. Keep up the amusing work! I love your show and I'll remain a loyal subscriber. Congratulations on one full year of daddy-ness.
Aw. The pictures of you and your child are so sweet. : ) I bet it's hard to believe she's a year old already!
Great job! No preparation H, no toilet paper, no bidets... not back in those days. They had to wipe with leaves and such. Must have been difficult to cope with. : P
No need to apologize for living your life haha, YouTube will always be here. Glad to see things are going well for you.
Five golden hemorrhoids? LMAO! The first thing that came to mind was the "12 days of christmas". Instead of 5 golden rings, 5 golden hemorrhoids looool
God's box sounds like it has an upsetting sort of ass-radiation that it causing the hemorrhoids.
These sorts of stories were common in these cultures; no doubt the tribes of Dagon had cute stories about how the Israelites suffered under the heavy hand of their god as well. Nobody managed to preserve their writings is all.
I wonder if this story is pure fantacy, or if there was some virus that infected people transmitted by rats. Side effects minght include hemroids or psuedo-hemroids and acationally death.
what the hell do you expect? you hear crappy stories in any book with little substance, they have to fill it with something! ever wonder why the font in the bible is so big? :D
heh great to see you back...and wow...answered a old questin and a funny story at the same time :> Always wondered where that whole ark kill people for looking in it came from.
hey ur funny,could you do something from Jesus? Like some of his healings or times that he said "how long do I have to deal with you" or "ye of little faith". I chuckle every time i read him saying it.
dolores5552 2 months ago
LOL. you pick on bible versus....how weak. try picking on Gods grand design, consider what it is to be infinite. consider science and the beginning of the universe as we know it.
"it is he who has revealed the book to you, some of it's versus are precise in meaning, they are the foundation of the book. And some are ambiguous.Those who's hearts are infected with dis-belief observe the ambiguous parts as so to create dissension among men" - The Imrans.
shootomatic 5 months ago
I thought only the most holy people could handle the box. Even Unworthy Hebrews would die on the spot if they touched it. How did the philistines manage to steal it? And move it several times............ Gods wrath is painful and itchy.. LOL
seeker6789 10 months ago
You are so funny LoL
goatmilk51 11 months ago
So God is against homosexuals, yet he has an anal fixation... hmmmmmm, interesting!
toulouse666 1 year ago
If to touch the ark of the covenant was to immediately die, then how did they steal it?
dixievfd55 1 year ago
I lovee your stories :DDD
d3vilnaruto 1 year ago
@Cunit1874 How am I mocking God? I'm telling stories directly from his book.
azsuperman01 1 year ago 4
I hope God has mercy on you for mocking him....
Cunit1874 1 year ago
I keep reading these comments on here saying that this guy is "disrespecting God"....... Seriously?
I mean, how else are we supposed to tell a Bible story? Have a jolly old man read it with a constant smile on his face and have soothing music in the background? Face it guys, your Bible isn't all flowers and rainbows. And when you comment on videos with guys telling the story how it is and you get all pissed, it only shows others what your real motivation is.
MovieFinatic456 1 year ago 3
Clearly, Preparation H is of the Devil....
ChuckyJesus666 1 year ago 2
Clearly God took roughage out of their diet....
ChuckyJesus666 1 year ago
i am amazed how you found the plague that struk them in thier private area funy,do you think if that was true and GOD did that, his view of the private area is just like yours? you know kind of funy or freakish attitud?please keep reading the bible you know there is a reason 4 every thing.
jhweh2007 1 year ago
@jhweh2007 There is indeed a reason for everything, including punctuation and basic spelling norms. Proof of God? Nothing concrete. Proof reading? Worth a go.
MsJennyJuniper 1 year ago
@MsJennyJuniper well i speak four languages,english is my fourth. now how many languages can you speak my proud american?i bet you're a proud american right? oh buy the way still learning more languages.and if you're ever out side the US i can trade you for a donkey ,and with out you knowing it.
jhweh2007 1 year ago
@jhweh2007 No I definately am not American. A different continent. Fair play to you, if English is your fourth language. I speak only 3 well, so depending on which language you trade in, I may accept that donkey.... Still, I worry that you, and indeed so many, are so unwilling to accept critical examination (in whatever form, including humour) of the text on which your belief system is based.
MsJennyJuniper 1 year ago
@MsJennyJuniper well i guess i need a copy of your birth cer.....ya right.that's what makes my belief system so pure,nothing to hide it's all there.we can clean it up if you would like for your taste.hmmmmm.
jhweh2007 1 year ago
@jhweh2007 Has your proctologist checked for hemorrhoids lately? If he finds them, do not let him cut them out, that's where you keep your brains.
holio84 1 year ago
@holio84 no hemorrhoids here so no brain,yep
jhweh2007 1 year ago
@jhweh2007 If you take pride in your language skills, you might want to learn the difference between buy and by in English.
ChuckyJesus666 1 year ago
@ChuckyJesus666 yes sir.
jhweh2007 1 year ago
My faith tells me you are reading the bible wrong. You cant read it literally, you have to use it as guidance w/ faith.
Thats why we have proper prophets to read it to us for us...... like you.
Torakization 1 year ago
ramansten9 i think you are very right. Im not picking a fight with anyone im just here to say the world was not formed by 2 rocks. There is a god, he did create this world and there is a heaven and a hell. its as real as you and me. There will come a time when its too late to ask for forgiveness. please dont wait.
MrJbj25 1 year ago
@romansten9, He likes laughing at christians like the rest of us of higher intelligience.
holio84 2 years ago
From someone that doesn't believe the Bible, he sure spends a lot of time talking about it. (even if he was a former Christian) looks like he is still searching for something more in his life.
romansten9 2 years ago
Peace to mankind? Maybe he knows that getting rid of religion is the quickest way to a more loving world? And using his already found knowledge is his best way to help his fellow man?! That's what I believe.
crazy4carolyn 2 years ago 2
I wonder on judgement day when you are face to face with our Heavenly father what would you say? I didn't know the truth? you still have time to repentant son.. I will pray for you.
silentsteve63 2 years ago
what the fuck! an atheist got a promotion at work?! clearly the all powerful lord has been slacking on smiting sinners. thats ok, god can get lazy sometimes
kstokdal 2 years ago 15
That's sad, i tought sloth was a sin, your god is a sinner then.
TheElsarild 2 years ago
@kstokdal how dare you mock the god? it was a sabbath he got a promotion on
tjohn1986 1 year ago
@kstokdal And how the fuck does an all-powerful God say "Hey, leave me alone! I'm tired even though I have all power in this universe!"
wtfomgstudios 10 months ago
@kstokdal it rains on the just and the unjust but i wouldn't push your luck. god will not be mocked.
bluesmann8 5 months ago
that's a lie, jesus himself says he is here to fulfill the old testament. So the old testament stands.
Please keep in mind, bible was written BY MEN HUNDREDS of years AFTER the death of jesus. BY MEN, BY MEN, BY MEN
again, for their own gain.
TheAlexBS 2 years ago 2
All powerful god...and.......haemorrhoids, that's it I'm converting now. Oh wait, god is foiled again by preparation H. The almighty wrath of god, alleviated by cooling soothing medicated wipes. Thanks Tucks.
chuckgnarkill 2 years ago 3
It seems you know a lot about hemorrhoids is that because you are "ONE"???
rchercules442 2 years ago
You have a beautiful family. God Bless you!!
eric777100763 2 years ago
"Clearly this is a very powerful god hahahahaha XD"
seborinos 2 years ago 3
This is hilarious! THank you!
Queequel 2 years ago
immagine having roids in a time of supreme uncleanliness in a sweaty sandy dessert!
\
fuck!
how was hemoroid phrased anyway?
publicdrunkeness 2 years ago 2
dude your fucking awesome i love all your vids just shows how stupid Christians are to believe this shit. i dont think they read the old testament just the new and that is no better my sister in law said im a christian but i don't believe the old testament the new testament replace that book i was like what? i told her the old testament is the core of your faith that makes no sense but this isn't the first time i heard this, this is a common excuse for Christians of today.
noproofforjesus 2 years ago
do you know the difference between the old and new testament?
671rAsTaGuAmBoI4LyPh 2 years ago
yes what is your point?
noproofforjesus 2 years ago
the laws, rules, and regulations of the old testament are null and void because of the coming of the Messiah.
671rAsTaGuAmBoI4LyPh 2 years ago
hey man i just sent you scripture where Jesus tells you keep all the laws of the old testament.
On top of this we have no book of Jesus, why is this? Its because he never intended his followers to create a new bible as Jesus saw the Jewish books as the word of god.
noproofforjesus 2 years ago 2
671rAsTaGuAm... if the old testament is null and void, then Genesis is ruled out and we can all agree that the whole talking snake/world creation story is null and void - yes?
anomalous6 2 years ago 4
Then why not to get rid of the one that is
no longer relevant so as to avoid confusion and misinterpretation?
Psalm 19:7 says: "The Law Of The Lord
Is Perfect", and Jesus also said he didn't come to change anything. This whay that book renders itself useless.
pedrom41 2 years ago
pm me if you want a well thought out answer.
671rAsTaGuAmBoI4LyPh 2 years ago
no what is the diference between the old and new testament?
johnnythesailorman 2 years ago
This is the best fucking channel on youtube right here.
Leathal752 2 years ago 4
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dnt read this(cuz it really wrks). u will gt kissd on the nearest frieday by the love of ur life. 2mara wll b the bst day of ur life hwever if you dnt post ths comment 2 at least 3 vids u will die withn 2 days nw uv startd readn this dnt stp this is so scary snd ths ovr 2 5 vids in 143 mins when ur done press f6 nd ur crush's name will appear
uhh0hitsmexo 2 years ago
So, if one has hemorrhoids, then they are out of favor with the "god" of the bible. One can sure learn a lot reading those crazy old death cult books!
"Gods are to morality, as toilets are to food."
heathdwatts 2 years ago 3
your vids are wicked, congrats on the promotion and your daughters bday!
VinniePaz42069 2 years ago
Christianirishnation, this mans daughter has nothing to do with the video. Having said that I believe you are the one who should be ashamed to have any sort of guiding role in a childs life for having them actually believe in a silly religeon such as your own. I would much rather have a child raised by an athiest than a christian or a muslim or even a jew. the child probably wouldnt grow up to be an idealistic bigot
Beserker17 2 years ago 3
theists are fucking sick and perverse arent they?
VinniePaz42069 2 years ago
azsuperman01, I just HAVE to tell you...You're my new hero! I have so many , though. The competition is stiff. Pat Condell, the late GREAT George Carlin, Jack Nicholson, George W, Bush (who did more to retard the oppressive advance of fundie shit, every time he opened his mouth)...the list is long. Oh yeah, can't forget Theologikos...but you're my main man these days. Keep the enlightenment coming. Great stuff! May the birds of paradise fly up your arse. That IS a compliment, don'tcha know...
zideffil 2 years ago
my hero is joe pesci, i pray to him every night, he gets shit done!
VinniePaz42069 2 years ago
Lets face it, the Phillys were a pain in the ass.........literally.
buddybleau 2 years ago
I think your series are great. And your daughter is so lovely <3
maimedpuppet 2 years ago
Comment removed
ChristianIrishNation 2 years ago
ChristianIrishNation,...all I can say to you is (and I'm being exceedingly kind here) What a fucking ASSHOLE you are!!! You take the prize. Aear's supply of Preparation H,...you king-sized hemarrhoid, you!
zideffil 2 years ago
Comment removed
ChristianIrishNation 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
I feel sorry for your daughter, Her father spends most of his free time mocking those who believe in God.
He should take a deep long hard look at himself.
Shame with a role model like him. His daughter could very well burning in hell.
ChristianIrishNation 2 years ago
Happy Birthday to your daughter :)
tinkabella83 2 years ago
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Who the heck rates 5 stars for this?? lol!
MonstersNightmare 2 years ago
Your daughter's adorable. :D
Mthedh 2 years ago
Congratulations. I hope you're happy. Nothing better than to have a kid around the house. I would know :)
LogaLogGrenn 2 years ago
Awesome story. Actually I had this one singled out for a video of my own, but just couldn't fucking work it out. Thanks for the explanation.... it.... uh... really makes sense now.... (??)
Sound effects for the win!!!!!
NonStampCollector 2 years ago
Hi AZSuperman and welcome back. Congrats on all the great things happening in your life!When was your little girl's Birthday? My little boy's first Birthday was 11th March. Do they share a Birthday?
Thanks for a wonderful video - I am still laughing 20 mins after watching it. Post another soon, please!
jamiexxxx147 2 years ago 3
wow your son is automatically cool for being born on the 11th only cool people are....
tghetto5 2 years ago 3
FINALLY! I AM DEEMED COOL!
pokerslut530 2 years ago
You earned it pal!
tghetto5 2 years ago
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i actually love god, that much, to where if said, "i'm sending you to hell, but you will never return" then so be it, that's how damn far i will go for my god asshole.
rox52 2 years ago
Lovely attitude. I am glad God has another loving follower. Jeez.
lamewing 2 years ago 2
well ya know lamewing... It is true, not ALL christians are the "holy , righteous, Diving, Exquisite, Phenomenal" types of matter. Sure we are to strive after those things, but this IS what it is. WARS HEPPEN. and they have been for a very long time. shit happens to, get over it? thanks for the comment lamewing, even if it was insane sarcasm.
rox52 2 years ago
I dare you to do it.
punchdrunkatheist 2 years ago
and ya know what, if my god sends me to hell, then so be it. it's called unconditional LOVE, i'll see ya there. :)
rox52 2 years ago
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you know there are two sides to god right? love and wrath? and in response to your other video, yeah i could tell her they were burning in hell. did you forget about the crusades you moron? ya know you should be lucky jesus did die for our sins. that way we wouldn't have to slaughter lambs.. or other people (like your self) to wash our sins. ( lol ) Maybe you should recap.And god is all TRUTH, the truth hurts, doesn't it???????
rox52 2 years ago
Welcome back my friend. Congrats on your lovely daughter's first year and your promotion. I remember reading this story, although I forgot the part about the 50k of the chosen ones. Thanks for drivig yet another nail into the coffin of my former xtianity
BigStr8Al 2 years ago 2
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Wacky Bible story ?!!!
Well, enjoy your life, and your kids ....
CreationistsWON 2 years ago
Creat..
Hemorrhoids!!!
God sure has a weird sense of humor don't he? Ha, ha! What a Psycho case!
Don't mess with god...or you'll get an ass load of tumore!!!
Ha, ha, ha!!
Cootabux 2 years ago
Yeah, how do ....
CreationistsWON 2 years ago
I already do!
azsuperman01 2 years ago
the NIV version (popular) uses the word "tumor" instead of hemorrhoid, but even if you check the alternate definitions of tumor, you get nothing that makes any sense at all.
this story is indeed wacky.
loturos 2 years ago
Tumors has also been seen translated as plague, as in the bubonic plague. It also fits with the 'plague' of rats that decsended on the Phillistine's, if you can put two and two together
Spark117 2 years ago
God sounds somewhat petty...
medic007 2 years ago 3
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Moron!!!
GodTheTruth 2 years ago
GodTh..
After hearing that story, you call one of us a moron??? Ha, now that's funny! Can U see the irony??? Ha!!]
Fundies never cease to amaze me!
Cootabux 2 years ago
"Moron!!! " ... that was a brilliant argument indeed, congratulations XDDDDDDDDDDD
HTBRNGR01 2 years ago
Why didn't they just toss the fucking thing off a cliff?!
dannypantsgm 2 years ago 2
I told you there was proof god was a pain in the ass!!
psyco4cp 2 years ago 3
lol
Fyrstorm180 2 years ago
The hemmorhoids that are destroying your ass-LOL!
Celticking36 2 years ago
Wacky Bibles stories are my fav thing you do... Nice!!
It's funny that God wanted us all to stand up and potentially have hemeroids isn't it...?
Terrible design. I guess he always wanted to hold the old "do what I say or I'll make it painful for you to relieve yourself" card...?
RodHullIOnceWasHim 2 years ago
excellence as always keep it up and thank you
dj0785 2 years ago
I love your vids. They made me laugh
RoryCochrane 2 years ago
It reads like an episode of The Simpsons - only less credible.
We are expected to believe this stuff :-(
Excellent video!! Many thanks for posting!!
plato12000 2 years ago
ah... that's such a long time ago that I read / heard that story. The morality of the OT is the death nail of Christianity.
I'm sure that in a way they would want to chuck it out of the Bible, except that then the story doesn't make sense at all.
With regard to your promotion ... I guess someone's still praying for you then ;-)
ticobassie 2 years ago
ticobassie - Or maybe... just maybe... it had something to do with me actually being qualified for the position.
azsuperman01 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Burn in hell!
enjoy!
GodTheTruth 2 years ago
what? u want the ark to burn in hell?
ptica11 2 years ago
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We don't need idiots like this one, disrespecting Our Holy God and His Word which will judge him on judgment day!
GodTheTruth 2 years ago
yes retards of ur ilk we be f~ked in the arse at the judgment day by cheezus the moron jesus and his other 1/3 yhwh the imbecile
ptica11 2 years ago
GodTh..
What did U expect?
You shouldn't let such absurd stuff like this get into the hands of the public, then you & yahweh wouldn't get ridiculed! Or why don't U just do what the early fathers of the church did & just rewrite it. They only wanted certain books and teachings to be in the bible. You know, only stuff that reflects their views of what the Xian religion should say.
Cootabux 2 years ago
GodTheTruth - How is telling stories from your Holy Book disrespecting it?
azsuperman01 2 years ago
I love how people like you set out in a mocking tone and then throw up your hands when people say you're disrespecting them. Ahh, such is the life a hypocrit
Spark117 2 years ago
Spark117 - LOL!! You turn telling stories from the Bible into "mocking Christians," then call me a hypocrite when I ask you to explain why! That is funny!
azsuperman01 2 years ago
@Spark117 I never throw my hands up when stupid people say I'm disrespecting them. Because stupid people inherently disrespect me by insulting my intelligence and therefore deserve my mockery. It's my way of reflecting your stupidity back at you in the hope that it may enlighten you. So I only do it because I care. Think of it as a from of tough love.
VerumAdNauseam 1 year ago
@GodTheTruth Hey moron, fix your channel page. It states that "evolution is just a theory and not a fact", Wrong! The Truth is that evolution is a "scientific theory" and that makes it fact. Correct your mistake or you will be propagating a lie.
holio84 1 year ago
@GodTheTruth But your god is all loving right?
crh2010 1 year ago
You christians are so plesant and lovely,,,NOT! By any chance are you a member of the Westboro Baptist Church? You know that loveable Fred Phelps? I bet you are a part of the Phelps klan and if not you share in his beliefs. How lovely of you christians to wish for us and even pray to your God that he throw us in Hell to burn for eternity. Stop trolling the atheist boards. Your scare tatics and religion based on fear and hatred and bigotry and your hateful comments wont change anyones mind.
MyCatMischief 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Ah pleasant. Just as you athiests are ;) judging by yours and ptica's posts I can tell that you athiests are just a swell bunch, not a bigotted or un-free-thinking bone in your collective body, nope, not one
Spark117 2 years ago
spark117, what's the matter with you? Don't you recognise great humour when you see it? Hemorrhoids is far funnier than bubonic plague or 'plague of rats'. That's another trouble with Christians - no sense of humour. Honestly though, can you REALLY tell us that you BELIEVE silly stories like this? I mean, if one reads the Bible as fiction/humour, one can find a usefullness for the book. Try reading Song of Songs or 'Solomon's Songs'. It's hilarious. 'She has eyes like the fishpools of Heshbon'
zideffil 2 years ago 7
Of course christians have a sense of humour, they wrote the damn bible -for god's sake-. Literally.
piip4 2 years ago 3
Such hate is unbecoming of anyone, let alone someone who should be practicing what he believes in
Fight with your mind, not with your emotions. Too many believers are bending knee to others' beliefs to sate their own biggotry but hateful posts do nothing but show you will step down to their level,
and they'll just beat you with experience ;)
Spark117 2 years ago
I hope you don't have any kids... I sure would feel sorry for them! Funny how you christians just assume ur right just b/c of some book that proves nothing. Its one thing to believe in it, but another thing to be a complete dick about it and use the bible to tell people what u think will happen to them and their children like what you say even matters.
HBanana55 2 years ago 2
ticobassie, I agree that the whole Christian thing is just ridiculously stupid. I just wanted to give you a helping tip though,.. The word is 'death knell' and not 'death nail', as you wrote. The expression usually goes..."This (or that) sounds the death knell for Christianity (or whatever is soon ending).
zideffil 2 years ago
ah, I see I confused two expressions ... 'nail in the coffin' and 'death knell', cheers though ;-)
ticobassie 2 years ago
nice to see more vids up
but even better to see you and your loved ones are happy and healthy
kinda flys in the face of theist saying atheist are angry and not happy
Leadman1989 2 years ago
has it been a year for superbaby? Oh it goes so fast!
now...let me get this straight...the ark goes to two cities which get hemorrhoids and then goes to the "chosen" people and they are KILLED (50K of them)...and WHO is supposed to be preferred by god?
KingHeathen 2 years ago
KingJeathen - Obviously the Isrealites in Beth Shemesh were the chosen people. The Philistines had people killed AND they got hemorrhoids, the people of Beth Shemesh only had 50k people killed... no ass afflictions for survivors - that PROVES God loved them more.
azsuperman01 2 years ago
Loved the video just like the previous 2 in this series. This is one of the most informative and humorous channels on the tube. I feel guilty for not reading the Bible like I'm supposed to, so I enjoy gaining biblical knowledge by watching these insightful videos. Every bible story is referenced at the beginning by AZ which is nice. I plan on retelling many of these, so thanks for the research and the time. Sometimes making an audience wait makes them appreciate the work more! Rock on.
charlesfloyb 2 years ago
charlesfloyb - I'm glad I can help.
azsuperman01 2 years ago
That was great! Thanks for the laughs.
slipcurve 2 years ago
who the fuck wrote this shit,surely this is enough to make any believer think twice,if not,then, like i suspected,the drug of religion is your misfortune,but someone elses fortune :) hehe
naybobdenod 2 years ago
I think the Old Testament was hyjacked by Christians . If you look at the New Testament, the two books really don't go together to well. The Old is way more mythological in it's stories.
jas03000 2 years ago
Wacky.
HonestDiscussioner 2 years ago
I was reading along and it said 'tumors' not 'ass sores' XD
Saruzu 2 years ago
Saruzu - Which version of the Bible were you using? As the video says, some versions translate the Hebrew as "tumors" or "tumors in the groin."
Specifically, the KJV says "and they had emerods in their secret parts" (1 Sam 5:9)
azsuperman01 2 years ago
NKJV-It says tumors but the note at the bottom of the page explains that this might be the Plague. Keep up the amusing work! I love your show and I'll remain a loyal subscriber. Congratulations on one full year of daddy-ness.
Saruzu 2 years ago
zOMG ur alive! congrats on all the stuff keeping u away. and yeah, golden hemorrhoids qualifies as really weird
tarkana613 2 years ago
as i always say, 'religion, like syphilis, is a contagious form of insanity.'
Singebuggercat 2 years ago 7
Contre-dictionary......? Awesome word.
Tribune12345 2 years ago
....
so God is the spiritually equivalent of a dead cat neighbors keep tossing into eachother's lawns.
Ing213 2 years ago
The lord works in mysterious ways. No really.
teaboyaudio 2 years ago
LMHFAO (laughing my hemorrhoid-free ass off)
Great to see you back, Superman!
smalltownatheist 2 years ago
Man, god must have some weird kink for hemorrhoids, huh?
I think I'll go watch 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' now.
: D
MagnusIan 2 years ago
nice video!
hunnie14 2 years ago
For I am a child of god, as my ass is pristine and clear of anal sores. Wewt!
relic1076 2 years ago
God's magic hemmroid box !!! Ahhhh! Now I'm a-skeered!!!
Thereminator101 2 years ago 2
Aw. The pictures of you and your child are so sweet. : ) I bet it's hard to believe she's a year old already!
Great job! No preparation H, no toilet paper, no bidets... not back in those days. They had to wipe with leaves and such. Must have been difficult to cope with. : P
VioletCosmonaut 2 years ago 2
hermoroids xD
halabalo195 2 years ago
Actually I heard that this may describe an ancient outbreak of Bubonic Plague.
Ing213 2 years ago
No need to apologize for living your life haha, YouTube will always be here. Glad to see things are going well for you.
Five golden hemorrhoids? LMAO! The first thing that came to mind was the "12 days of christmas". Instead of 5 golden rings, 5 golden hemorrhoids looool
BananaHurricane 2 years ago
God's box sounds like it has an upsetting sort of ass-radiation that it causing the hemorrhoids.
These sorts of stories were common in these cultures; no doubt the tribes of Dagon had cute stories about how the Israelites suffered under the heavy hand of their god as well. Nobody managed to preserve their writings is all.
ThePrinceOfMillAve 2 years ago
:D I *had* to look up that story in ma bahbule (a modern catholic version), and it says ulcer instead.
Catholics are boring drags without any sense of humor...
...I WANT IT TO SAY HEMORRHOIDS!!!
xBuscopanx 2 years ago
xBuscopanx - If it's honest it'll at least say "ulcer in their secret parts" ... check ch 5, verse 9. If that doesn't work, check the KJV.
azsuperman01 2 years ago
Did the Philistines or any other group the Israelites killed ever do anything to warrant god's wrath other then not not worshiping god?
ndyt 2 years ago
ndyt - To god, that's enough
azsuperman01 2 years ago
oh my,,,golden hems,,,allah!!!
naruto64kun 2 years ago
I wonder if this story is pure fantacy, or if there was some virus that infected people transmitted by rats. Side effects minght include hemroids or psuedo-hemroids and acationally death.
DanielJGreenJr 2 years ago
Glad you're still making videos =]
generalbuttnugget 2 years ago
Yeah I'd like to see him try that now days
Ass cream > Yahweh
jaynkay100 2 years ago
jaynkay100 - LMFAO!!! That comment deserves 5 stars *****
azsuperman01 2 years ago
Thanks man, I appreciate it!
I'm just glad to see you back, especially after all the good news you shared. Congratulations on your many 'blessings' ;)
jaynkay100 2 years ago
Good one sir.
livebyreason 2 years ago
Oh noes! Fear the wrath of god, for it shall burn thine ass!
ApocalypticInferno 2 years ago
Oh funny- I hope you tell your daughter nice bedtime stories, too!
hehe are these stories really in the bible or do you exaggerate them a little?
I mean- how stooooopid can the bible be?
dilemmix 2 years ago
dilemmix - I paraphrase, because just reading the KJV would be boring, but these stories are ALL in the Bible.
azsuperman01 2 years ago
These stories are hilarious
4McClain 2 years ago 2
Hemorrhoids truly are divine justice. In addition to a lake of fire beyond the grave, an ass of fire awaits the sinner in this world!
ozmoroid 2 years ago 5
Think I spelled Israel wrong but who cares!! Welcome back AZ Superman and congrats on everything, even your vacation..lol.
DiggumSmack77 2 years ago
god of isreal has like.....no life.
DiggumSmack77 2 years ago
bascially god made the world in under a week and his son is a magician and now is a zombie.
the end.
no such thing as god, and best yet so many fall for this bhahaahah
JaxxDaemon 2 years ago
Sounds like people didn't have enough prunes in their diet.
brutus149 2 years ago
what the hell do you expect? you hear crappy stories in any book with little substance, they have to fill it with something! ever wonder why the font in the bible is so big? :D
Discipol 2 years ago 2
Forget the Golden Crocoduck award.. it's all about the Golden Hemorrhoids.
Great stuff as usual.. hilarious video.
arcooke 2 years ago 2
heh great to see you back...and wow...answered a old questin and a funny story at the same time :> Always wondered where that whole ark kill people for looking in it came from.
wolfwing1 2 years ago
oh snap ,welcome back! been missing your stuff, glad things are going well for you. Family looks great :P
nyxus007 2 years ago 3
Thank you!
azsuperman01 2 years ago
Welcome back, but you don't need to apologize for having a life.
SkepticalAtheist 2 years ago
That's true. YouTube is a hobby that takes up my free-time... Now I feel guilty when I don't have as much free-time... go figure.
azsuperman01 2 years ago
Whoa. First.
lazyperfectionist1 2 years ago
You rock!
azsuperman01 2 years ago
Oh, and glad to hear all the news, btw.
lazyperfectionist1 2 years ago
Thank you!
azsuperman01 2 years ago