yeah, that's pretty brave especially since she knows this "symptom" may cause negative reaction from others towards her, which is what she's suffering from. fear of negativity.
This is what modern civilized society is doing to people. It's creating a mass of cowards (for lack of better words), due to the fact that nature's process we call Darwin's theory has been slowed to a crawl, as the result of easy life here in America, and around the world.
Honestly some real drugs may help you. They let you realize how bullshit the world is, and they open your eyes in order to let you see through all the phoney people around you.
@corpralj3 I think this personality disorder is a result of childhood experience and environment of the individual. Everyone is different. You can't simply to tell someone to "man up". You don't know them. You can tell a 500lb man to push a car, but you can't say the same thing to someone who weighs 130lb.
Honestly, this is all a bunch of excuses for weakness.
I thought and felt exactly the same as I was younger and still share some of the same relative thoughts as you. You just need to man up and deal with life.
When I was 17, I was kicking grown, 40+ year old men out of businesses and while I had the same relative thoughts running through my head, I didn't think twice about doing it because it needed to be done.
I've dealt with a lot of people I wanted no business with, for my own good.
You are sooooo brave. . I am so impressed with how open you are. You aren't alone. How sad it is to see someone that is struggling this. You are obviously articulate intelligent and open minded. I have hope for you though, because you are showing your true feelings. You are worth it! BELIEVE THAT! There are many of us out here.
become a waitress! lol seriously, you have NO idea how much i am EXACTLY like this, i was in a very mentally abusive relationship and i am now such a social phobic, avoindant introvert,but i became a waitress, and i suck it up and face my fears every day and i am slowly very slowly learning to cope with this.
...most of this is what's known as "learned self hate" - your parents or guardians didn't want you in the first place or were psychologicaly screwed up,especially narcissistic (think jealous/sadistic) parents! What goes along with self hate is constant "self punishment" - you have to punish and torture yourself for being no good,useless,a burden,a fuck up and any other negative "they taught you" to think and feel about yourself!
@noodlez4me I hope not I really hate to hear you feel that way and I hope you see better days stay strong and try to stay as positive as possible I know its hard because just a few days ago I actually got really emotional myself and I wouldn't wish that feeling on my worst enemy
Thank you so much for this video, this is one of the reasons I love YouTube, it helps fight ignorance and helps make more understanding of the diversity of people, and gives us an insight into things like disorders and phobias that we can't really get from reading material, it's just not the same. I can imagine all the people who suffer from something similar and may be isolating themselves so they don't meet people with similar conditions, this must be gold to them :) not to feel alone with it.
I'm 15 and just realized after taking a personality test and doing some research I'm almost positive that I have this disorder. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you so much for this video. I feel like I could have written most of what you said myself. This is a huge help. For what it's worth, you seem like a truly wonderful, smart, brave woman and anyone would be very lucky to be your friend. Thank you again and wish you great peace.
I'm a slave to my fears. I avoid everything pretty much. I would avoid myself if I could. Many times I wish I could escape from myself. I often wonder if I grew up in a different family would I still have this disorder. People that don't have this or knowledge of this disorder sometimes just don't understand what it's like to have this disorder. I'm always searching for answers hoping that one day I may stumble on something that will free me.
My psychiatrist thinks I'm avoidant (I already knew I am), but he doesn't say anything about it. It seems that he doesn't take this disorder very seriously. Anyway, is avoidant personality disorder less problematic than schizoid personality disorder for example, or asperger's or social anxiety? I also have severe chronic social phobia and also "performance anxiety" (at work/school/voluntary work, whatever it is that involves people). I can't even hold a job because of this.
i am 19 years old, engineering major, i was once member of the California honor society, but because of my fear of socialization and inadequacy, i ended my membership in something that could have REALLY helped me in the future. i once had a great job with medical benefits, payed vacations, and a decent pay, but because i fear people, i quit that job. i cry inside for friendship and acceptance but am unable to achieve any of that. i haven't been diagnosed but am quite sure this is my condition
Thank you for sharing. I have been alone for a while and feel as though I put myself in similar situations with a chronic tenacity. If you don't mind would share with me when you first began to notice signs of this sort of behavior and what were they?
sumthin like this happens me when im around certain ppl or situations i always feel like runing and escaping from this fear...... and im exactly the same as u describe urself in this video... its like i have to escape this fear which is... myself... afraid of taking controll of myself and my life... cause its mine and i know that but i dont believe i shud take control or that im worth that thanks to certain bastards who wud stop at nothing to destroy myself-esteem
The problem with people like us is that we fear getting close to other people due to our own perceived flaws. (self consciousness) That we tend to avoid having meaningful relationship for fear of being ridicule, shame etc.
Some of us have stop caring and simply do not bother trying anymore.
I don't have a single friend for over 12 years now. Heh I don't even bother with online friends lol.
You are brave to say this in public! I appreciate this. I suffer from the same and what really makes me upset is the high charges of psychotherapy! shame..
Your not delusional at all. You have no problems in your head really. You are RIGHT! People are judging you, classify you in a group. You are not too smart, but smart enough for this society. Your problem lies in the fact that you hang out with more sphysicated/educated ppl and thus you make yourself feel, by thinking thoughts based on your sub conscience knowledge/intuition. Hang around metally ill children or adults, you will feel better with your suroundings. Not being funny.
Thanks for making this video. I have untreated Avoidant Personality Disorder. I'm used to it. But hearing you describe APD was heart-breaking. Nobody should suffer like this.
I'm one too and I understand your pain, and where you are coming from. I think they key to coping is knowing that no matter how bad WE think we are, others don't see us the way see see ourselves. Like that song from "The King and I", where Anna sings "When I fool the people I fear, I fool myself as well." If you can put on a brave front and get through an encounter with others, you'll convince yourself that you're really not as bad as you think you are. Be strong and know you are NOT alone.
Thank you for posting this. As a person with social anxiety/phobia disorder and avoidant personality disorder, I related to this video very much. I especially related to the part where you mentioned taking janitorial jobs and other such jobs where you can work on your own.
I've always disliked a lot of attention and been very shy since I was little but I've become less sociable throughout my childhood and teenage years because everytime I started to develop a close relationship(s), my mother and I always moved to a different city or state. I never had a chance to grow up w/ a childhood friend and as a result, I lost the desire to make any friendships. Would like to have a close friend(s) but I fear something would cause me to move.
I've never seen somebody that can describe this condition as well as you do, is absolutely spot on, I feel exactly the same, but I can't put it into words like you do.
thanks for this... sharing your experience is very valuable.
I have been looking into current ideas about various personality disorders and Ifind I have had feelings like almost all of them that I have had to solve.
And I think sometimes I have taken one symptom and put it in balance to another from a different disorder... and i wonder if all people simply deal with these but for some they run away on their own. Or else, I'm just a functional PD.
I think I know what caused me to have AvPD. I've always been bullied since I was in first grade. I was never accepted by anyone but my family. I'm 18 now and I just feel like I have no control over this demon in my head. I always wonder what people think of me, I hate how I look and act. My few friends have said that I'm very "rare." My mom says I'm abnormal and I should socialize. But I can't because I love staying at home. The only friends I had were books. I'm always fantasizing too.
I was diagnosed with this yesterday. The more I find out about this condition, for example by watching videos like this, the more I think my therapist really nailed it with that diagnosis.
Update: I have not actually gone to see a doctor yet. The job I have insist that if we take off we must have an excuse from the doctor we visit, and If I were to bring an excuse from a mental health doctor, I am sure I job could be in trouble. So I am dealing with it my self, I just pat myself on the back and tell myself that people that judge me and talk about me are the ones with the problems. so far it helps. : )
Thanks for this. I also have AVPD and know how miserable, tiresome, and overwhelming it can be. I wish you and everyone else here who suffers from it the best of luck.
Hell, I have it too. It's so bad I can't even read comments or replies when I am on here. I have my husband read my comments for me. Frankly I am getting tired of this and I would love to move on with my life without this frustrating AVPD. Wish I can just kick myself in my ass right now. Just kick myself out of this disorder. You know? Well, I do give you props for talking about this. I am too shy to be on camera to talk about this let alone do Vlogs about everyday life. Anyway, good work!
I have been extremely SHY, and afraid of saying stupid things, I think everyone is talking bout me because i am stupid. I am 58 and I am just now admitting there is something wrong with me. I am to see a doctor next week. Do you take meds? I am scared
dr.sharrie.com is helping my son. Please look into it. Your brain is stuck in gear with anxiety and negative thoughts. You are a beautiful person for expressing yourself. Neuorfeedback is real help.
i also wanted to say that i love the song you put on your video...it is called "pachelbel's canon in d". i just saved it to my favorites yesterday as a matter of fact! would you mind befriending me on here? thanks so much for taking the time out of your day to put this up. i see the beauty and art in you, and i hope you don't feel sad all the time. you are anything but stupid!
hello sweet lady crackwalker....i looked up avoidant personality disorder because a friend of mine posted that i have it on my facebook for all to see. i have a few questions for you, if you dont mind.....i wonder how much of this "disorder" is just that you and i have LIVED and LEARNED that people hurt. and i wonder if there really is a satan and if it is just HIS accusations we hear in our heads, or if this is really a disorder and not something that people have devised to make money.
I cannot believe what I just watched, it was me out and out. I never really thought of myself as having any kind of disorder, just that I wasn't good enough to interact in society. For as long as I can remember I've always felt like I was either invisible to people or was a target for attack. I hate when people tell me it's all in my mind and that I'm just antisocial.
The more you face your fears, the easier it gets but by avoiding them, you are just maintaining the vicious cycle. Facing your fears and challenging your negative thought can enable you to realise that you can cope more than you think you can in those situations. More often than not those social sits are never as bad as you think they're going to be
Hi, I think CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) would really work for you, but it would involve facing some of your fears in order to overcome them and end the avoidance. I am training in this field, despite having a touch of Sp and AvPD myself!
thecrackwalker: You're an intelligent woman. I can tell by the way you talk that you're intelligent. I think you'd feel better if you could find a support group or perhaps create one. Being confused & being stupid are two different experiences. There's no way you're stupid. I've been around stupid people & they are SO not like you!
Im surprised someone with avoidant personality disorder can explain how the feel so well, or will even make a video explaining it on youtube, most are very shy about there disorder, You are a very strong person, Try not to fear rejection, People are generally kinder than you may find, if you dont try, you'll never get what you want, wether its possessions or a great social life, you have to take risks, for some its harder than others but its a great reward in the end
I didn't watch the video, but I checked Wikipedia for the symptoms. There was only about four a dem I couldn't recognize, but the others were in uttermost accordance with my personality. I don't worry about it, I accept being friendless, but I'm glad I know I actually have a condition. It explains a lot.
You are depressed, suffer from extreme anxiety, and agoraphobia. This causes avoidance behavior. I hope you are in couseling to get through the issues in your childhood (I suspect extreme abuse and maybe abandonment) so that you can heal. I wish you love, healing, and joy.
AvPD describes me exactly. I'm not sure if this is actual serious disorder like depression. Is there a solution? I don't know, I just keep smoking weed everyday and yeah if I didn't smoke weed, I get extremely depressed usually and resort to drinking and smoking cigarettes which makes things worse.
It's stupid to say you have a disease or a disorder because of certain thoughts that you have. Calling somebody bipolar or a social phobic labels them and makes them think they have a problem. The only thing to do to cure these diseases anyway is to live with them...so why put a false label on it? Part of life is living with your thoughts (which are there to guide you). Sometimes you have to ignore them and sometimes they tell you when to shut up.
I believe I have AVPD too, looking back I have had it most of my life but it took me ages to realize. I have also suffered from medication withdrawal (ssri) which has caused me worse depression and anxiety than before.
I wanted to say, that I have done a lot of research (because i think too much, and inside i never want to give up hope that life can get better) and I believe that Mentalization and Metacognitive therapies are the best treatment. I think theyre only just being researched.
First time I tried watching this, I started breathing heavily, fast, and started crying.. I was 3 mins into this video. (I'm AvPD too.. Brought back many memories and thoughts. heh)
Your monologues are very educational. I'm a salesman, and I listen to you to practice my EFFECTIVE LISTENING skills. I can easily read between the lines.
hey i was just looking around for how many people in the US suffer from social anxiety, and I came to a site that described AvPD. Never heard of it before, yet I have it, I've always had it my whole life. I'm 32. I've been studying NLP for about a year now and it is changing my life. I highly recommend it.. we can really learn how to design new empowering experiences for ourselves.. thanks for sharing, and just remember that you don't have to accept that you will always be like this
I also have this disorder, but I am a Christian as well. I know God helps me in situations where I have to speak in front of others. I did this a week ago as part of my Law course, and about a minute in, I felt my mind wanting to just go blank and not continue. I was about to give in, but I just kept going, and gave a speech written down for 10 minutes. I have experienced immense difficulty in reading books aloud in class (my heart begins to race), so that was a momentous event for me.
@Tears0faShadow Actually, I know God helped me here. I prayed to Christ through tears and helplessness, but not for ages - I had done that before where I have been revising for exams, and He knew what I felt like - I didn't think it my worth to really become depressed. I have really been struggling with my studies, like you, I feel a tendency to give up and not do any work. I sometimes feel that work is futile, because I'll never change. But I just go on for the things I love, like music.
I have had to force my body to go to AA and sit in the back and listen-this has helped in only in getting out of house- and being with others who are learning how to relate to people- try anything which works-childhood hobbies to bring programmed happy activity
hope and solution are in book-iroquois women by w spittal- it protects childhood until 13yo then get total acceptance as an adult with full rights- and responsibility- only the people can organize into longhouses- and food gardens for healthy lifelong jobs for us and the all future generations- enjoy hope....sometimes living for revenge -i mean self defence-is what keeps us alive one more day-eat well sleep well-avoid abusive people (this has save my life)
@Sherbearmom1 It is a direct result of emotional neglect from my parents. which followed me the rest of my life due to poor self-esteem and the fact I had never been taught how to protect myself. My parents only raised me and fed me.
@thecrackwalker I am still going through it. I had a father who never showed any emotions whatsoever and a narcissistic mother. I wasn't allowed to express my feelings. They weren't important. I have felt rejected all my life, thats why I don't post videos of myself. Some people don't understand why I isolate myself. It's not that I want to, it's a mind-safety mechanism so I won't be rejected or criticized anymore. I don't have a self-esteem, it's not important either.
I think the simple cure with APD or any social inept personality disorder is to place more empathy and compassion towards people and to relate them as they were literally "you". An obvious instance would be a dream, your mind tricks itself into seeing things as fragments and parts, but it is really coming from inside of you interconnected. We all unconsciously know this but some, if not most still choose to play the mind game of seperation, some deeper than others and some further away from it.
oops- i meant TELLING repeadly of my abuse-in peer groups - helps ALTERS feel heard by acknowledging the child that went thru it- and so the child alter does not have to be so aggressively in FONT taking charge- because it feels expresses herself by the TELLING now- not the defensive acting out-Telling our story until it no longer causes fear or re trAumatizing/reliving- helped me with self confidence- just knowing theres many like me-survivorsofincest& the m.o.m./d.i.d.series explainsthings 2me
it has opened a very changing way for me to thinhk of myself since i youtube the m.o.m./d.i.d. series- the more i hear others share the more i see that majority of people /myself too- feel we have to have a ALTER which FRONTS the inner self from abuse by others- b/c this is a society where children are traumatized and are schooled into being robots- my front ALTER is stongly protective and wont allow me to be hurt anymore =that means it sabotages my atempts- repeating my abuse=ALTERS go bck IN
you are so nice to have out such healing music for us listeners-every thing you said is about me- i used to drink b4 a party and at the party i was so fearing to talk that i would get drunk-often pass out oe throw up-so people started avoid me-and i avoided people in shame- i read a book on shyb=ness -author says our culture is shyness producing sine more than 1/2 univers students of this survey admitted they were painfully shy-many guys start taking drugs just to go out the door or put ALTERS
Does AvPD ever evolve into schizoid personality disorder? Since age 11 I had all the symptoms of AvPD. I felt like people are watching me and criticizing me, my mind went blank all the time. But in mid-20s I stopped caring about what other people think. However, I haven't become more sociable. I feel like people are not worth my time. Few friendship that I have feel like a drag to keep up. I don't recoil from harsh and open criticism because I feel nothing for it. It's weird how it's changed.
@vonkaverpel Yes, i am afraid to say you could have symptos relating to schizophrenia. this is because all mood disorders interact. this is why it is so hard to figure out what is wrong. because you have hidden diagnosis'.
it sucks, (the disorder not the video, the video was a really explains a lot to people who don't know) The fear of something being used against me, the cannot perform negatively which lead to me almost always overachieving and not taking on anything I didn't think I could manage kind of lead to me not knowing failure. The constant stress of keeping it up
This is misleading, although outwardly people with avoidant or anxiety disorders appear to have similar symptoms, they differ greatly in reasons for behaving in those ways, people with avoidant disorder want to interact, schizoid and schizo-typical people see no point or desire to interact.
It is reasons like this that you should see a psychologist about these things so that you can be more properly diagnosed.
@shadowpremiere Diagnosis' aren't always clear to even professionals. It isn't exact like a science. It's more theory. All the different labels share similar symptoms that cross over. The lines are blurry where one ends and the other begins. And as for a "pure diagnosis" that idea is just ridiculous to me and lacks depth in understanding each person as unique.There are MANY reasons a person can suffer from anxiety, therefore it CANNOT be determined why as if we all have it for the same reason.
All I'm saying is up until a number of years ago, a number of doctors had misdiagnosed problems in my family as being related to schizo-typical behavior and being bi-polar, and to assume that you can diagnose a person without taking into context their inner motivations for why they feel/act a certain way you're likely to be mis-diagnosed and this can have severe effects on a person mentally, by giving them medications that are bad for them, the wrong type of therapy etc etc.
@shadowpremiere Okay, I understand. I'm terribly sorry you went through that. Sadly, it is more common than most realize...you know...misdiagnosis and wrong "labels", wrong therapy, meds, etc. Peace to you :-)
@vonkaverpel Sounds like you suffered anxiety and got over it. You are correct, most people are not worth your time....good ones are far a few between. I think you are normal, perfectly normal. I am a psychologist in training....you can trust me. You're normal.
@vonkaverpel I have the exact same feeling... I didn't know it was possible. I thought I was finally rid of the anxiety and found myself, but it just getted worse.
I have recently self-diagnosed AvPD, and I have experienced exactly the same as you around the same time also, I think it is a way of protecting yourself from the fact that you think you will never achieve getting acceptance of others that you long. I decided more or less consciously like "Screw this shit, then I don't need those things", just to remove the anxiety and feelings of inadequecy. If you don't need it you can't fail in it. Freudian defence mechanisms are worth reading.
@vonkaverpel You said it friend. That is how I feel except it varies in amount from day to day. One thing that I have found is that alot of negative thoughts about myself comes from my own negativity towards others. I try my best not to judge others and upon meeting or seeing someone, I try to compliment them in a way that doesn't make me look like I'm kissing arse too much. Eliminate negativity if you can. Hope this helps :)
I really feel like I have AvPD, and I do NOT want it to carry on into my adult hood, I don't want something like that to control my life. I always try stepping completely out of my comfort zone and I hope it will help more and more, but it's truly scary and i hate it.
@RedShoes201 Maybe find out why you got this way in the first place. Childhood trauma? from who? why? what was your reaction? how do you remember the events from the past. Thiese answers might start a journey into your illness and help you understand why you are the way you are. This you need to know before you try to heal. I wish you all my luck. peace
I am wondering if a loved one I know has this disorder. She will rarely share feelings and thought that are similar to yours. Whenever I confront her about issues she has a hard time dealing with she will hardly talk about it. I love her unconditionally and I would like to convince her to seek help. Do you have any insights on what I can do to help her or how I might encourage her to get therapy this illness? Or if anything, how I might help her to recognize the problem?
@lanteew I think if she really trusts you, in tie she ight open up, but it would have to be total trust. Let her decide when the time is right to spill her guts. let her know you will listen unjudgmentally. That's the ticket.
@MinnsMedia yes alcohol numbs the feelings. alot of people do this to alleviate their distress. It leads to alcohlism, sadness, and depression. I am sure you are aware of this. The need for alcohol lessens when you have worked out all your problems with someone you trust to confide in, who won't judge you or steer you wrong. - a therapist. I wish you well in your search for recovery.
When I was younger I was diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. Even now, I related to what you said in your video very much. But I don't think I have a problem anymore. You should do what helps you, but sometimes I think its better not to think of it as a disorder. You can be the same you and also be strong. This video was a brave and kind thing, and I hope you're doing strong today.
This video describes the problems I've been having since middle school, I'm 20 years old and I am interested in psychology, so naturally I came across AvPD and pretty much self-diagnosed myself with it, it's the perfect answer to ALL of my social issues. I have taken a "any means necessary" approach to fitting in with others, lying about relationships and home life; but I have noticed that I sometimes try really hard to talk to other people in class or in comfortable situations. THANKS SO MUCH!!
@jlewwillbeatu71 You are so welcome. keep on fighting with your coping skills. remember even baby steps make you get to a serene location in your mind.
I hate how all these symptoms are on the spot. I'm having a lot of dysfunctional with family at home, so I'm failing academically. I'm feeling inadequate and more empty day or day. Suicide comes into my mind every time I realize that in order to have great success in life, you need to achieve the things society wants you to do. I want a purpose, it may keep me alive. But, I don't want to be a burden to anyone at the same time. If I kill myself, I'll lay in the woods. Then I'll rot with thoughts.
@Alphaomegix I promise you, you will die one day and you'll be released from all the bullshit in this life, but until then, keep fighting. Fight for your place in this world. The best way to do so is by being proud of who you are, no matter what 'disorder' you may have or how different you are from your peers and other members of society... Forget all that. Your psychological difference will give you more emotional maturity, awareness of the human condition, intelligence and depth...you'll see.
@Alphaomegix When someone speaks of suicide, I take it seriously. I've had family members attempt suicide, a best friend attempt suicide, and one of my friends actually did commit suicide. Stick around for as long as you can and life will kill you off, anyway. Do your best to fix or deal with the problems you have and live for yourself. I come from a family of living hell and it affected me academically, too. Coming out on the other side...there's no better feeling in the world!
@Alphaomegix such sad statements. I cae fro a family who were distant with their emotions and feelings. I hear what youv are saying 100%. death is not the answer. Do you really want to forget about the future and your life totally, or do you really just want to make life easier for yourself with no more struggles?
I get to that point too. then I realize - y dysfunctional family is killing me. And, I am stubborn, I will not let colod hard cruel people kill me. Instead, I kill them in my head
Thank you for posting this. I've been this way for as long as I can remember (17 years old) and I've been trying to find a cure for it for just as long. Unfortunately I haven't found one yet, and I'm starting to lose hope. I think the only path left open for me now is that of acceptance. I'm just better off by myself. The joys of social interaction and relationships will forever allude me, but I guess I'm ok with that. It's not worth the pain anymore. At least I have my books, movies, and games.
I've been trying to figure out why I think some of these things you are describing here...but only a few pertain to me. I turned to alcohol, then people started hating me even more! Alcohol just makes everything worse for me, actually, in the end. But it does make me feel better, to a certain point. Then before that, I was hooked on these kind of amphetamine pills, then my anxiety was through the roof on those! I need a new drug, or some sort of help for this crap messing with my head....PEACE!
@VictorHugo289mex ===I like to mix them to catch a better buzz...........I have a bad alcohol problem. I lost my job on Christmas Eve for oversleeping due to alcohol==I am so sad. But I'll find another one..
pray about it, set goals and stick to them, also the way you think about people is how they think of you and thats what makes the anxiety so think positive thats my advice...
Please read the book "Feel the fear, do it anyway by Susan Jeffers and go on by reading boos like these. Use positive affirmations twice a day. It may not cure all of your problems but it's a good start to move on and be stronger.
You have a lot of courage posting a video of yourself talking about AvPD. I wouldn't have been able to do it because of, well... my AvPD lol. I'm at the part in my life now where I have to make a career decision but I'm lost because of this disorder. But it's a little nice knowing I'm not the only person out there.
yeah, that's pretty brave especially since she knows this "symptom" may cause negative reaction from others towards her, which is what she's suffering from. fear of negativity.
idontloveducks 9 hours ago
from 3:00 i thought: "how in the world does she know so much about me?..."
ds37 3 days ago
i recenly quit school because of this..
jujitsumon 4 days ago
i hate it so much :( i just wish i can be normal again..
jujitsumon 4 days ago
And on a side note:
This is what modern civilized society is doing to people. It's creating a mass of cowards (for lack of better words), due to the fact that nature's process we call Darwin's theory has been slowed to a crawl, as the result of easy life here in America, and around the world.
Honestly some real drugs may help you. They let you realize how bullshit the world is, and they open your eyes in order to let you see through all the phoney people around you.
Man up.
corpralj3 1 week ago
@corpralj3 I think this personality disorder is a result of childhood experience and environment of the individual. Everyone is different. You can't simply to tell someone to "man up". You don't know them. You can tell a 500lb man to push a car, but you can't say the same thing to someone who weighs 130lb.
idontloveducks 9 hours ago
Honestly, this is all a bunch of excuses for weakness.
I thought and felt exactly the same as I was younger and still share some of the same relative thoughts as you. You just need to man up and deal with life.
When I was 17, I was kicking grown, 40+ year old men out of businesses and while I had the same relative thoughts running through my head, I didn't think twice about doing it because it needed to be done.
I've dealt with a lot of people I wanted no business with, for my own good.
corpralj3 1 week ago
You are sooooo brave. . I am so impressed with how open you are. You aren't alone. How sad it is to see someone that is struggling this. You are obviously articulate intelligent and open minded. I have hope for you though, because you are showing your true feelings. You are worth it! BELIEVE THAT! There are many of us out here.
kndred1 1 week ago
become a waitress! lol seriously, you have NO idea how much i am EXACTLY like this, i was in a very mentally abusive relationship and i am now such a social phobic, avoindant introvert,but i became a waitress, and i suck it up and face my fears every day and i am slowly very slowly learning to cope with this.
TechnoFreek16 2 weeks ago
This made me feel so sad :(
rusalkadust 2 weeks ago
This is the thing to remember. The only people who give a damn to criticize others are
the people who have major problems within themselves. The rest aren't even paying
attention to you...so relax.
SuperBeherenow 4 weeks ago
Exactly how i feel Makes me feel less alone knowing there is others with this
MetalHead1664 4 weeks ago
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...most of this is what's known as "learned self hate" - your parents or guardians didn't want you in the first place or were psychologicaly screwed up,especially narcissistic (think jealous/sadistic) parents! What goes along with self hate is constant "self punishment" - you have to punish and torture yourself for being no good,useless,a burden,a fuck up and any other negative "they taught you" to think and feel about yourself!
Shamagogue 1 month ago
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Shamagogue 1 month ago
Thanks for posting this its always good to have someone to relate to.
dasin7 1 month ago
I'm sorry for everybody that suffers from SA I have it too and it sucks. Wish GOD would kill me and let this end
noodlez4me 1 month ago
@noodlez4me I hope not I really hate to hear you feel that way and I hope you see better days stay strong and try to stay as positive as possible I know its hard because just a few days ago I actually got really emotional myself and I wouldn't wish that feeling on my worst enemy
dasin7 1 month ago
@noodlez4me I, too, know these feelings most days. But NEVER GIVE UP, please.
privatejoy1989 2 weeks ago
@noodlez4me right? i feel the same damn way
sam8793d 2 weeks ago
I really hope you're doing well or at least better today, hugs :)
Kvidin 1 month ago
Thank you so much for this video, this is one of the reasons I love YouTube, it helps fight ignorance and helps make more understanding of the diversity of people, and gives us an insight into things like disorders and phobias that we can't really get from reading material, it's just not the same. I can imagine all the people who suffer from something similar and may be isolating themselves so they don't meet people with similar conditions, this must be gold to them :) not to feel alone with it.
Kvidin 1 month ago
I'm 15 and just realized after taking a personality test and doing some research I'm almost positive that I have this disorder. Thank you for sharing this.
SuperFunGayTime 1 month ago
Thank you so much for this video. I feel like I could have written most of what you said myself. This is a huge help. For what it's worth, you seem like a truly wonderful, smart, brave woman and anyone would be very lucky to be your friend. Thank you again and wish you great peace.
oxgray23 1 month ago
I'm a slave to my fears. I avoid everything pretty much. I would avoid myself if I could. Many times I wish I could escape from myself. I often wonder if I grew up in a different family would I still have this disorder. People that don't have this or knowledge of this disorder sometimes just don't understand what it's like to have this disorder. I'm always searching for answers hoping that one day I may stumble on something that will free me.
TimDoggyDog2010 2 months ago
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My psychiatrist thinks I'm avoidant (I already knew I am), but he doesn't say anything about it. It seems that he doesn't take this disorder very seriously. Anyway, is avoidant personality disorder less problematic than schizoid personality disorder for example, or asperger's or social anxiety? I also have severe chronic social phobia and also "performance anxiety" (at work/school/voluntary work, whatever it is that involves people). I can't even hold a job because of this.
Metsada007 2 months ago
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Metsada007 2 months ago
i am 19 years old, engineering major, i was once member of the California honor society, but because of my fear of socialization and inadequacy, i ended my membership in something that could have REALLY helped me in the future. i once had a great job with medical benefits, payed vacations, and a decent pay, but because i fear people, i quit that job. i cry inside for friendship and acceptance but am unable to achieve any of that. i haven't been diagnosed but am quite sure this is my condition
PrettyMaggiee 2 months ago 2
Thank you for sharing. I have been alone for a while and feel as though I put myself in similar situations with a chronic tenacity. If you don't mind would share with me when you first began to notice signs of this sort of behavior and what were they?
joshcoleman1986 2 months ago
sumthin like this happens me when im around certain ppl or situations i always feel like runing and escaping from this fear...... and im exactly the same as u describe urself in this video... its like i have to escape this fear which is... myself... afraid of taking controll of myself and my life... cause its mine and i know that but i dont believe i shud take control or that im worth that thanks to certain bastards who wud stop at nothing to destroy myself-esteem
chrisbartley88 3 months ago
we're all basically a slave to our mind. If only we can turn it off.
basamente 3 months ago
has therapy helped at all?
basamente 3 months ago
This song has really helped me: "You Are Loved" by Josh Groban
sarmegwantwatchmovie 3 months ago in playlist Liked videos
hi, two years since I've been on this page where I was blown away by your testimony. how have you been ever since? is it going better now?
juditkarlsson 3 months ago
you are very brave. Thank you for sharing this. I can relate to this too. ..
AzureTenere 3 months ago
The problem with people like us is that we fear getting close to other people due to our own perceived flaws. (self consciousness) That we tend to avoid having meaningful relationship for fear of being ridicule, shame etc.
Some of us have stop caring and simply do not bother trying anymore.
I don't have a single friend for over 12 years now. Heh I don't even bother with online friends lol.
DeviousBetrayer 3 months ago
I'm right there with you. Been diagnosed for nearly nine years now.
pookie85 3 months ago
You made me cry :'(
and I have this also :'(
pugs321 3 months ago 3
You are brave to say this in public! I appreciate this. I suffer from the same and what really makes me upset is the high charges of psychotherapy! shame..
althakafi 4 months ago
for the people that disliked this....may god have mercy on you
AkaKlutch 4 months ago 11
Your not delusional at all. You have no problems in your head really. You are RIGHT! People are judging you, classify you in a group. You are not too smart, but smart enough for this society. Your problem lies in the fact that you hang out with more sphysicated/educated ppl and thus you make yourself feel, by thinking thoughts based on your sub conscience knowledge/intuition. Hang around metally ill children or adults, you will feel better with your suroundings. Not being funny.
in2cycles 4 months ago
Thanks for making this video. I have untreated Avoidant Personality Disorder. I'm used to it. But hearing you describe APD was heart-breaking. Nobody should suffer like this.
user19191 4 months ago
I think you are very brave for sharing this. Much respect :)
AlpineViking91 4 months ago
I'm one too and I understand your pain, and where you are coming from. I think they key to coping is knowing that no matter how bad WE think we are, others don't see us the way see see ourselves. Like that song from "The King and I", where Anna sings "When I fool the people I fear, I fool myself as well." If you can put on a brave front and get through an encounter with others, you'll convince yourself that you're really not as bad as you think you are. Be strong and know you are NOT alone.
QvJLP90 4 months ago
i accept you :)
lovexxyouxxx 4 months ago
thank you for sharing. i dont feel so alone any more
lovexxyouxxx 4 months ago
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Thank you for posting this. As a person with social anxiety/phobia disorder and avoidant personality disorder, I related to this video very much. I especially related to the part where you mentioned taking janitorial jobs and other such jobs where you can work on your own.
BrokenMemory87 4 months ago
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BrokenMemory87 4 months ago
Thank you for sharing... this is very helpful : )
simeon24 5 months ago
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Thank you. It's a nice video. I finally found my problem.
FlameExecutioner 5 months ago
Thank you. It's a nice video. I finally found my problem.
FlameExecutioner 5 months ago
This is the best video ever. I feel just like you do.
MsAgnosticatheist 6 months ago in playlist More videos from thecrackwalker
Thank You so much i now know i am not the only one
youngnso504 6 months ago
thank you
Anelamperouge 6 months ago
Can anyone tell me if i have Avoidant Personality Disorder my children will
also get it or not ??
swaragho 7 months ago
Can anyone tell me if i have Avoidant Personality Disorder my children will
also get it or not ???
swaragho 7 months ago
I've always disliked a lot of attention and been very shy since I was little but I've become less sociable throughout my childhood and teenage years because everytime I started to develop a close relationship(s), my mother and I always moved to a different city or state. I never had a chance to grow up w/ a childhood friend and as a result, I lost the desire to make any friendships. Would like to have a close friend(s) but I fear something would cause me to move.
HybridD91 7 months ago
i have that AVD thing too
08BOOGIEMAN 7 months ago
I've never seen somebody that can describe this condition as well as you do, is absolutely spot on, I feel exactly the same, but I can't put it into words like you do.
Tabi2000 7 months ago
I feel exactly the same
leniboda 7 months ago
Thank you for sharing.
You are very brave and many will be helped by you.
May you find peace.
-Dave
dbts808 7 months ago 17
thanks for this... sharing your experience is very valuable.
I have been looking into current ideas about various personality disorders and Ifind I have had feelings like almost all of them that I have had to solve.
And I think sometimes I have taken one symptom and put it in balance to another from a different disorder... and i wonder if all people simply deal with these but for some they run away on their own. Or else, I'm just a functional PD.
pyrrho314 7 months ago
I think I know what caused me to have AvPD. I've always been bullied since I was in first grade. I was never accepted by anyone but my family. I'm 18 now and I just feel like I have no control over this demon in my head. I always wonder what people think of me, I hate how I look and act. My few friends have said that I'm very "rare." My mom says I'm abnormal and I should socialize. But I can't because I love staying at home. The only friends I had were books. I'm always fantasizing too.
clover220 8 months ago
I was diagnosed with this yesterday. The more I find out about this condition, for example by watching videos like this, the more I think my therapist really nailed it with that diagnosis.
rgur90x 8 months ago
Good Video.
weerobot 8 months ago
Update: I have not actually gone to see a doctor yet. The job I have insist that if we take off we must have an excuse from the doctor we visit, and If I were to bring an excuse from a mental health doctor, I am sure I job could be in trouble. So I am dealing with it my self, I just pat myself on the back and tell myself that people that judge me and talk about me are the ones with the problems. so far it helps. : )
flowerchild77777 8 months ago
Thanks for this. I also have AVPD and know how miserable, tiresome, and overwhelming it can be. I wish you and everyone else here who suffers from it the best of luck.
ral1334 8 months ago
I feel the exact same way. This makes me feel so much better. :)
shyninjagirl 8 months ago
Hell, I have it too. It's so bad I can't even read comments or replies when I am on here. I have my husband read my comments for me. Frankly I am getting tired of this and I would love to move on with my life without this frustrating AVPD. Wish I can just kick myself in my ass right now. Just kick myself out of this disorder. You know? Well, I do give you props for talking about this. I am too shy to be on camera to talk about this let alone do Vlogs about everyday life. Anyway, good work!
Nuyorican2012 8 months ago
story of my fucking life.... -.-
linlinex3 9 months ago
TheCrackWalker??? lol
I'm sure you enjoy crack.
Quetzalqoatl99 9 months ago
@Quetzalqoatl99 And this is one reason why I have my husband read comments from other people to me. Hell, I got to get out of this AVPD.
Nuyorican2012 8 months ago
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HawaiiMclovin69 9 months ago
You are so brave. Thank-you for sharing your story :)
MissNinaD1 9 months ago
I have been extremely SHY, and afraid of saying stupid things, I think everyone is talking bout me because i am stupid. I am 58 and I am just now admitting there is something wrong with me. I am to see a doctor next week. Do you take meds? I am scared
flowerchild77777 9 months ago
@flowerchild77777 whatever happens I send you all my love
viD0e 8 months ago
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@flowerchild77777 whatever happens I send you all my love
viD0e 8 months ago
foreveralone.jpg
MrJacksniper 9 months ago
dr.sharrie.com is helping my son. Please look into it. Your brain is stuck in gear with anxiety and negative thoughts. You are a beautiful person for expressing yourself. Neuorfeedback is real help.
Diane9773 9 months ago
i also wanted to say that i love the song you put on your video...it is called "pachelbel's canon in d". i just saved it to my favorites yesterday as a matter of fact! would you mind befriending me on here? thanks so much for taking the time out of your day to put this up. i see the beauty and art in you, and i hope you don't feel sad all the time. you are anything but stupid!
poetessbritt 9 months ago
hello sweet lady crackwalker....i looked up avoidant personality disorder because a friend of mine posted that i have it on my facebook for all to see. i have a few questions for you, if you dont mind.....i wonder how much of this "disorder" is just that you and i have LIVED and LEARNED that people hurt. and i wonder if there really is a satan and if it is just HIS accusations we hear in our heads, or if this is really a disorder and not something that people have devised to make money.
poetessbritt 9 months ago
This is funny. What a sick sense of humour I have. Oh and I have this disorder. So before you go ranting off ur tree at me. Iam a good man.
Insurgent999 10 months ago
you're not alone. everyone's alone. i swear you're not any less than any other human being!
maryhadahlittlelamb 10 months ago
I cannot believe what I just watched, it was me out and out. I never really thought of myself as having any kind of disorder, just that I wasn't good enough to interact in society. For as long as I can remember I've always felt like I was either invisible to people or was a target for attack. I hate when people tell me it's all in my mind and that I'm just antisocial.
trinnysue 10 months ago
Where is ur site
pietrekpanH 10 months ago
Thank you for this video
pietrekpanH 10 months ago
What are the causes of this? Was it simply shyness manifested into AVPD because of something?
dissident93 10 months ago
@dissident93 oh. .. I also watched this video, before those, which I sent %)
SailorXOdesSa 10 months ago
The more you face your fears, the easier it gets but by avoiding them, you are just maintaining the vicious cycle. Facing your fears and challenging your negative thought can enable you to realise that you can cope more than you think you can in those situations. More often than not those social sits are never as bad as you think they're going to be
nursepatient 10 months ago
Hi, I think CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) would really work for you, but it would involve facing some of your fears in order to overcome them and end the avoidance. I am training in this field, despite having a touch of Sp and AvPD myself!
nursepatient 10 months ago
thecrackwalker: You're an intelligent woman. I can tell by the way you talk that you're intelligent. I think you'd feel better if you could find a support group or perhaps create one. Being confused & being stupid are two different experiences. There's no way you're stupid. I've been around stupid people & they are SO not like you!
MishuTaste 11 months ago 18
Im surprised someone with avoidant personality disorder can explain how the feel so well, or will even make a video explaining it on youtube, most are very shy about there disorder, You are a very strong person, Try not to fear rejection, People are generally kinder than you may find, if you dont try, you'll never get what you want, wether its possessions or a great social life, you have to take risks, for some its harder than others but its a great reward in the end
hazard2000 11 months ago
I didn't watch the video, but I checked Wikipedia for the symptoms. There was only about four a dem I couldn't recognize, but the others were in uttermost accordance with my personality. I don't worry about it, I accept being friendless, but I'm glad I know I actually have a condition. It explains a lot.
DrsJacksonn 11 months ago
You are depressed, suffer from extreme anxiety, and agoraphobia. This causes avoidance behavior. I hope you are in couseling to get through the issues in your childhood (I suspect extreme abuse and maybe abandonment) so that you can heal. I wish you love, healing, and joy.
lizzchoate 11 months ago
AvPD describes me exactly. I'm not sure if this is actual serious disorder like depression. Is there a solution? I don't know, I just keep smoking weed everyday and yeah if I didn't smoke weed, I get extremely depressed usually and resort to drinking and smoking cigarettes which makes things worse.
ScrapeNow 11 months ago
I've got Depression and Agoraphobia and it affects me having relationships it might be Schizophrenia or Bipolar Disorder.
conservativesarescum 11 months ago
It's stupid to say you have a disease or a disorder because of certain thoughts that you have. Calling somebody bipolar or a social phobic labels them and makes them think they have a problem. The only thing to do to cure these diseases anyway is to live with them...so why put a false label on it? Part of life is living with your thoughts (which are there to guide you). Sometimes you have to ignore them and sometimes they tell you when to shut up.
doncorleoneandolini 1 year ago
Also I wanted to say, I was initially diagnosed with social phobia. Thats what got me put on meds and made things worse for me.
kevvie100 1 year ago
I believe I have AVPD too, looking back I have had it most of my life but it took me ages to realize. I have also suffered from medication withdrawal (ssri) which has caused me worse depression and anxiety than before.
I wanted to say, that I have done a lot of research (because i think too much, and inside i never want to give up hope that life can get better) and I believe that Mentalization and Metacognitive therapies are the best treatment. I think theyre only just being researched.
kevvie100 1 year ago
This is so like me :(
nandesneto 1 year ago
thank you so much for this. i feel the exact same way and i feel so alone.... we will be okay someday.
emptybusseat 1 year ago
i hope you're doing better
ChrisAnjelo 1 year ago
First time I tried watching this, I started breathing heavily, fast, and started crying.. I was 3 mins into this video. (I'm AvPD too.. Brought back many memories and thoughts. heh)
BlakOktobure 1 year ago
Your monologues are very educational. I'm a salesman, and I listen to you to practice my EFFECTIVE LISTENING skills. I can easily read between the lines.
juneride 1 year ago
hey i was just looking around for how many people in the US suffer from social anxiety, and I came to a site that described AvPD. Never heard of it before, yet I have it, I've always had it my whole life. I'm 32. I've been studying NLP for about a year now and it is changing my life. I highly recommend it.. we can really learn how to design new empowering experiences for ourselves.. thanks for sharing, and just remember that you don't have to accept that you will always be like this
shoogunado 1 year ago
I also have this disorder, but I am a Christian as well. I know God helps me in situations where I have to speak in front of others. I did this a week ago as part of my Law course, and about a minute in, I felt my mind wanting to just go blank and not continue. I was about to give in, but I just kept going, and gave a speech written down for 10 minutes. I have experienced immense difficulty in reading books aloud in class (my heart begins to race), so that was a momentous event for me.
Tears0faShadow 1 year ago
@Tears0faShadow Actually, I know God helped me here. I prayed to Christ through tears and helplessness, but not for ages - I had done that before where I have been revising for exams, and He knew what I felt like - I didn't think it my worth to really become depressed. I have really been struggling with my studies, like you, I feel a tendency to give up and not do any work. I sometimes feel that work is futile, because I'll never change. But I just go on for the things I love, like music.
Tears0faShadow 1 year ago
I have had to force my body to go to AA and sit in the back and listen-this has helped in only in getting out of house- and being with others who are learning how to relate to people- try anything which works-childhood hobbies to bring programmed happy activity
lmollot 1 year ago
hope and solution are in book-iroquois women by w spittal- it protects childhood until 13yo then get total acceptance as an adult with full rights- and responsibility- only the people can organize into longhouses- and food gardens for healthy lifelong jobs for us and the all future generations- enjoy hope....sometimes living for revenge -i mean self defence-is what keeps us alive one more day-eat well sleep well-avoid abusive people (this has save my life)
lmollot 1 year ago
May I ask you a question? Did your symptoms result from years of childhood rejection from certain family members or friends?
Sherbearmom1 1 year ago
@Sherbearmom1 It is a direct result of emotional neglect from my parents. which followed me the rest of my life due to poor self-esteem and the fact I had never been taught how to protect myself. My parents only raised me and fed me.
thecrackwalker 1 year ago
@thecrackwalker I am still going through it. I had a father who never showed any emotions whatsoever and a narcissistic mother. I wasn't allowed to express my feelings. They weren't important. I have felt rejected all my life, thats why I don't post videos of myself. Some people don't understand why I isolate myself. It's not that I want to, it's a mind-safety mechanism so I won't be rejected or criticized anymore. I don't have a self-esteem, it's not important either.
Sherbearmom1 1 year ago
I think the simple cure with APD or any social inept personality disorder is to place more empathy and compassion towards people and to relate them as they were literally "you". An obvious instance would be a dream, your mind tricks itself into seeing things as fragments and parts, but it is really coming from inside of you interconnected. We all unconsciously know this but some, if not most still choose to play the mind game of seperation, some deeper than others and some further away from it.
DarkGreen2000 1 year ago
@DarkGreen2000 It sounds like a plan for some. but in the long run it comes down to figuring out who you are.
thecrackwalker 1 year ago
oops- i meant TELLING repeadly of my abuse-in peer groups - helps ALTERS feel heard by acknowledging the child that went thru it- and so the child alter does not have to be so aggressively in FONT taking charge- because it feels expresses herself by the TELLING now- not the defensive acting out-Telling our story until it no longer causes fear or re trAumatizing/reliving- helped me with self confidence- just knowing theres many like me-survivorsofincest& the m.o.m./d.i.d.series explainsthings 2me
lmollot 1 year ago
@lmollot wow thx for the posts and the insight you provided. yes, i agree, the inner child in these cases is always protected.
I love the music I picked for this peice. its by mr. yo yo ma
thecrackwalker 1 year ago
it has opened a very changing way for me to thinhk of myself since i youtube the m.o.m./d.i.d. series- the more i hear others share the more i see that majority of people /myself too- feel we have to have a ALTER which FRONTS the inner self from abuse by others- b/c this is a society where children are traumatized and are schooled into being robots- my front ALTER is stongly protective and wont allow me to be hurt anymore =that means it sabotages my atempts- repeating my abuse=ALTERS go bck IN
lmollot 1 year ago
you are so nice to have out such healing music for us listeners-every thing you said is about me- i used to drink b4 a party and at the party i was so fearing to talk that i would get drunk-often pass out oe throw up-so people started avoid me-and i avoided people in shame- i read a book on shyb=ness -author says our culture is shyness producing sine more than 1/2 univers students of this survey admitted they were painfully shy-many guys start taking drugs just to go out the door or put ALTERS
lmollot 1 year ago
Does AvPD ever evolve into schizoid personality disorder? Since age 11 I had all the symptoms of AvPD. I felt like people are watching me and criticizing me, my mind went blank all the time. But in mid-20s I stopped caring about what other people think. However, I haven't become more sociable. I feel like people are not worth my time. Few friendship that I have feel like a drag to keep up. I don't recoil from harsh and open criticism because I feel nothing for it. It's weird how it's changed.
vonkaverpel 1 year ago
@vonkaverpel Yes, i am afraid to say you could have symptos relating to schizophrenia. this is because all mood disorders interact. this is why it is so hard to figure out what is wrong. because you have hidden diagnosis'.
thecrackwalker 1 year ago
@thecrackwalker I think he was referring to Schizoid Personality disorder not Schizophrenia which does share some similarities.
@the video
it sucks, (the disorder not the video, the video was a really explains a lot to people who don't know) The fear of something being used against me, the cannot perform negatively which lead to me almost always overachieving and not taking on anything I didn't think I could manage kind of lead to me not knowing failure. The constant stress of keeping it up
DkryptX3 11 months ago
@thecrackwalker I think you mistook schizoid personality disorder with schizotypal.
plplplplomg 10 months ago
@thecrackwalker
This is misleading, although outwardly people with avoidant or anxiety disorders appear to have similar symptoms, they differ greatly in reasons for behaving in those ways, people with avoidant disorder want to interact, schizoid and schizo-typical people see no point or desire to interact.
It is reasons like this that you should see a psychologist about these things so that you can be more properly diagnosed.
shadowpremiere 5 months ago
@shadowpremiere Diagnosis' aren't always clear to even professionals. It isn't exact like a science. It's more theory. All the different labels share similar symptoms that cross over. The lines are blurry where one ends and the other begins. And as for a "pure diagnosis" that idea is just ridiculous to me and lacks depth in understanding each person as unique.There are MANY reasons a person can suffer from anxiety, therefore it CANNOT be determined why as if we all have it for the same reason.
DiaShanti 5 months ago
@DiaShanti
All I'm saying is up until a number of years ago, a number of doctors had misdiagnosed problems in my family as being related to schizo-typical behavior and being bi-polar, and to assume that you can diagnose a person without taking into context their inner motivations for why they feel/act a certain way you're likely to be mis-diagnosed and this can have severe effects on a person mentally, by giving them medications that are bad for them, the wrong type of therapy etc etc.
shadowpremiere 5 months ago
@shadowpremiere Okay, I understand. I'm terribly sorry you went through that. Sadly, it is more common than most realize...you know...misdiagnosis and wrong "labels", wrong therapy, meds, etc. Peace to you :-)
DiaShanti 5 months ago
@vonkaverpel Sounds like you suffered anxiety and got over it. You are correct, most people are not worth your time....good ones are far a few between. I think you are normal, perfectly normal. I am a psychologist in training....you can trust me. You're normal.
lizzchoate 11 months ago
@lizzchoate I wouldn't trust a guy that's evaluating someone's status based on a youtube comment :-)
BUMBLETORpedo 4 months ago
@vonkaverpel I have the exact same feeling... I didn't know it was possible. I thought I was finally rid of the anxiety and found myself, but it just getted worse.
hvaf8 11 months ago
@vonkaverpel
I have recently self-diagnosed AvPD, and I have experienced exactly the same as you around the same time also, I think it is a way of protecting yourself from the fact that you think you will never achieve getting acceptance of others that you long. I decided more or less consciously like "Screw this shit, then I don't need those things", just to remove the anxiety and feelings of inadequecy. If you don't need it you can't fail in it. Freudian defence mechanisms are worth reading.
vv2304 6 months ago
@vonkaverpel You said it friend. That is how I feel except it varies in amount from day to day. One thing that I have found is that alot of negative thoughts about myself comes from my own negativity towards others. I try my best not to judge others and upon meeting or seeing someone, I try to compliment them in a way that doesn't make me look like I'm kissing arse too much. Eliminate negativity if you can. Hope this helps :)
AlpineViking91 4 months ago
I really feel like I have AvPD, and I do NOT want it to carry on into my adult hood, I don't want something like that to control my life. I always try stepping completely out of my comfort zone and I hope it will help more and more, but it's truly scary and i hate it.
RedShoes201 1 year ago
@RedShoes201 Maybe find out why you got this way in the first place. Childhood trauma? from who? why? what was your reaction? how do you remember the events from the past. Thiese answers might start a journey into your illness and help you understand why you are the way you are. This you need to know before you try to heal. I wish you all my luck. peace
thecrackwalker 1 year ago
I am wondering if a loved one I know has this disorder. She will rarely share feelings and thought that are similar to yours. Whenever I confront her about issues she has a hard time dealing with she will hardly talk about it. I love her unconditionally and I would like to convince her to seek help. Do you have any insights on what I can do to help her or how I might encourage her to get therapy this illness? Or if anything, how I might help her to recognize the problem?
lanteew 1 year ago
@lanteew I think if she really trusts you, in tie she ight open up, but it would have to be total trust. Let her decide when the time is right to spill her guts. let her know you will listen unjudgmentally. That's the ticket.
thecrackwalker 1 year ago
wow, this is so relatable to me, hopefully i'll find help.
FlippyMyDog 1 year ago
@MinnsMedia yes alcohol numbs the feelings. alot of people do this to alleviate their distress. It leads to alcohlism, sadness, and depression. I am sure you are aware of this. The need for alcohol lessens when you have worked out all your problems with someone you trust to confide in, who won't judge you or steer you wrong. - a therapist. I wish you well in your search for recovery.
thecrackwalker 1 year ago
When I was younger I was diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. Even now, I related to what you said in your video very much. But I don't think I have a problem anymore. You should do what helps you, but sometimes I think its better not to think of it as a disorder. You can be the same you and also be strong. This video was a brave and kind thing, and I hope you're doing strong today.
Vandal49 1 year ago
@Vandal49 - I am doing okay now. I am still a recluse but happy in y own way. Just lonely.
thecrackwalker 1 year ago
This video describes the problems I've been having since middle school, I'm 20 years old and I am interested in psychology, so naturally I came across AvPD and pretty much self-diagnosed myself with it, it's the perfect answer to ALL of my social issues. I have taken a "any means necessary" approach to fitting in with others, lying about relationships and home life; but I have noticed that I sometimes try really hard to talk to other people in class or in comfortable situations. THANKS SO MUCH!!
jlewwillbeatu71 1 year ago
@jlewwillbeatu71 You are so welcome. keep on fighting with your coping skills. remember even baby steps make you get to a serene location in your mind.
thecrackwalker 1 year ago
I hate how all these symptoms are on the spot. I'm having a lot of dysfunctional with family at home, so I'm failing academically. I'm feeling inadequate and more empty day or day. Suicide comes into my mind every time I realize that in order to have great success in life, you need to achieve the things society wants you to do. I want a purpose, it may keep me alive. But, I don't want to be a burden to anyone at the same time. If I kill myself, I'll lay in the woods. Then I'll rot with thoughts.
Alphaomegix 1 year ago
@Alphaomegix I promise you, you will die one day and you'll be released from all the bullshit in this life, but until then, keep fighting. Fight for your place in this world. The best way to do so is by being proud of who you are, no matter what 'disorder' you may have or how different you are from your peers and other members of society... Forget all that. Your psychological difference will give you more emotional maturity, awareness of the human condition, intelligence and depth...you'll see.
BIJMOZ 1 year ago
@BIJMOZ That sincerely helped. I didn't think on it like that. My best bet is to get away from everyone every once in a while. Thank you.
Alphaomegix 1 year ago
@Alphaomegix When someone speaks of suicide, I take it seriously. I've had family members attempt suicide, a best friend attempt suicide, and one of my friends actually did commit suicide. Stick around for as long as you can and life will kill you off, anyway. Do your best to fix or deal with the problems you have and live for yourself. I come from a family of living hell and it affected me academically, too. Coming out on the other side...there's no better feeling in the world!
BIJMOZ 1 year ago
@Alphaomegix such sad statements. I cae fro a family who were distant with their emotions and feelings. I hear what youv are saying 100%. death is not the answer. Do you really want to forget about the future and your life totally, or do you really just want to make life easier for yourself with no more struggles?
I get to that point too. then I realize - y dysfunctional family is killing me. And, I am stubborn, I will not let colod hard cruel people kill me. Instead, I kill them in my head
thecrackwalker 1 year ago
Thank you for posting this. I've been this way for as long as I can remember (17 years old) and I've been trying to find a cure for it for just as long. Unfortunately I haven't found one yet, and I'm starting to lose hope. I think the only path left open for me now is that of acceptance. I'm just better off by myself. The joys of social interaction and relationships will forever allude me, but I guess I'm ok with that. It's not worth the pain anymore. At least I have my books, movies, and games.
kikomiko1 1 year ago
I've been trying to figure out why I think some of these things you are describing here...but only a few pertain to me. I turned to alcohol, then people started hating me even more! Alcohol just makes everything worse for me, actually, in the end. But it does make me feel better, to a certain point. Then before that, I was hooked on these kind of amphetamine pills, then my anxiety was through the roof on those! I need a new drug, or some sort of help for this crap messing with my head....PEACE!
giaisbomb 1 year ago
@giaisbomb Oh no, dude, alcohol and pills are no good.
VictorHugo289mex 1 year ago
@VictorHugo289mex ===I like to mix them to catch a better buzz...........I have a bad alcohol problem. I lost my job on Christmas Eve for oversleeping due to alcohol==I am so sad. But I'll find another one..
giaisbomb 1 year ago
It´s like you are talking about me......
michaeljackson419 1 year ago 18
@michaeljackson419 Me too
MsAgnosticatheist 7 months ago
pray about it, set goals and stick to them, also the way you think about people is how they think of you and thats what makes the anxiety so think positive thats my advice...
777DNAGENESIS777 1 year ago
I'm pretty sure I have a minor form of avoidant personality disorder, or maybe I'm just socially awkward. It really sucks either way.
fWo 1 year ago
I think I might have AvPD. i have all the symptoms but im scared to get it diagnosed or see anything like that.
kaitlinan 1 year ago
Please read the book "Feel the fear, do it anyway by Susan Jeffers and go on by reading boos like these. Use positive affirmations twice a day. It may not cure all of your problems but it's a good start to move on and be stronger.
SJGoaMadness 1 year ago
Thank you for your courage in posting this. Many times throughout your video I felt as if you were taking the words right out of my mouth.
theyeti85 1 year ago
@theyeti85 You are so welcome, I am sorry for your pain - courage
thecrackwalker 1 year ago
You have a lot of courage posting a video of yourself talking about AvPD. I wouldn't have been able to do it because of, well... my AvPD lol. I'm at the part in my life now where I have to make a career decision but I'm lost because of this disorder. But it's a little nice knowing I'm not the only person out there.
kimishim 1 year ago 16
@kimishim What got me started was viewing someone's mental illness video. It works to help heal actually.
thecrackwalker 1 year ago
@thecrackwalker If I may know, what is the cause of you to be anti-social?
I really like your braveness and willingness to challenge yourself and have a better life.
erinindriani 1 year ago
@thecrackwalker If I may know, what is the cause that make you to be an anti-social?
I really like your willingness to challenge yourself to have a better life.
erinindriani 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@thecrackwalker If I may know, what is the cause that make you to be an anti-social?
I really like your willingness to challenge yourself to have a better life.
erinindriani 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@thecrackwalker If I may know, what is the cause that make you to be an anti-social?
I really like your willingness to challenge yourself to have a better life.
erinindriani 1 year ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
Who gives a shit about your problems? Fuck your thoughts!
Leatherbubba 1 year ago
@Leatherbubba Why do you keep coming back and watching then? do you see something familiar in here? Can I help?
thecrackwalker 1 year ago 7
This video describes me to to T.
I was diagnosed with AvPD a year-and-a-half ago. I'm glad to know I'm not alone.
thylings 1 year ago