The Perfect Marriage

[thirdeye50]

Till death! lol

[Zarbod]

I know! That's kinda messed up really!

[blackbart99]

Missbbblue...420lbs. of dumbass...hysterical.

[blackbart99]

Zarbod your voice is getting lower...whats up?

Are you sick?

[Zarbod]

Bart, mother says I'm becoming a man.

[JenniferNumber9]

Dear Mr. Zarbot,

I was hoping that you could help me. Recently, about ten years ago, I moved to a new neighborhood.

While I was moving in a man named Larry, actually I don't know his real name because he won't tell me so I just call him Larry.

Anyway, While I was moving in "Larry" shows up and says that he's with the Welcome Wagon and he's there to give me a free "Welcome to the Neighborhood" emema.

I thought that it was a little strange, but if that's how they do it here, OK. (Continued)

[JenniferNumber9]

Part 2:

Well, like I said, it's been ten years and every day Larry shows up to give me more enemas. We are up to 15 enemas a day while I'm dressed as Little Bo Peep and he's usually dressed as either Bigfoot or Elvis.

I hate to sound paranoid, but is this normal?

[Zarbod]

Jennifer. Don't worry about that. That's just Larry. He usually works down in the warehouse but he's rather friendly. Of course with friends like him, who needs enemas?

[starzship]

LOL!

[LucyShy]

I know nothing about marriage. Never seen an actual successful one in my life.

However, I've never seen an actual whale either - doesn't mean I don't believe they exist.

[Zarbod]

Don't worry. I still believe in both. I've even seen both. I once spent a few hours chasing a whale in Alaska. Got some good footage.

[RiddleSpider]

Death sounds good to me. LOL

[Zarbod]

Remember. When using a mulcher "Head First" is the best way to go.

[RiddleSpider]

Thanks for the heads up. 'preciate it.

[Zarbod]

I knew you had a good head on your shoulders. Just use it...first.

[searella59]

Marriage is a bit like gardening (metaphorically speaking) there is work to be done if it is to remain beautiful over many years.

[Zarbod]

Marriage is like gardening. You feel like you're buried and can't escape. Then you get crap dumped on you regularly. Then finally the person in charge pulls you out and kills you.

What were we talking about?

[Bobofet241]

People usually get married because they want to.Marriage of two people who strive for the others happiness,who forgive each other,tell each other you love them,laugh every day,keep their life simple,work at not being selfish,never go to bed angry,daily do nice things even in small ways and stick to each other in the hard times will succeed. As for crap dumping,that's equal opportunity dumping...I should know. lol Every body has baggage the trick is how often you air it or don't.

[searella59]

Are you weed or a desirable plant in this senario?

[Zarbod]

I've always been partial to weed, but I don't see how that relates.

What were we talking about?

[fuzzfoot]

I'm gonna have to smoke to that. . . Fire in the hole!

[Blargaldalien]

Hello,Zarbod.

If marriage is supposedly until "death do you part",What is the determining factor over who dies first?

Is it the person who wants out more than the other? Or,is it the person who wants the other one gone,so their happiness can be revived?

[Bobofet241]

I like to think of it as two people trying to go through a door at the same time. Till one says, "after you". :)

[Zarbod]

Ladies first!

[Zarbod]

I think it's a question of who wants to quit the most. Usually the dude.

[Knorkooli]

Yeah Dance party 4... see if i got some time to do a quick video. if not that will be sad but I'll try. maybe I'll submit a slow dance song I sing and u can use a small part of it. its a cover song so it;'s not like no one will know what it is.

[Zarbod]

I hope so. You're the only person to attend all three Dance Parties! Can you go 4 of r4? We'll see.

[TheTittySisters]

We want to be your groupies!!! Lol

[Zarbod]

Oh yes! I've never had classy groupies like you ladies before. Usually just losers (Sorry everyone else)

[mikma]

mikma was here

[Blargaldalien]

Report to the top of the comments list,uno-boy

[mikma]

reported as order sir

[Zarbod]

MIKMA!!!

[MISSBEBEBLUE]

my third husband kept say'in, "just kill me....just kill me." I guess, he thought that was the only way out, you know, "death do us part" an all, so I killed him. They said it was a crime of passion. I was out on parole in no time!

[Blargaldalien]

You could have hidden the body better...

[MISSBEBEBLUE]

to late for that now, besides, have you ever tried to hide 420 lbs. of dumbass!

[Zarbod]

It's great for rose bushes if you mulch him first. Ask RiddleSpider.

[MISSBEBEBLUE]

that's funny, because, I was look'in for one of those big chippers, you know, the kind Suddam's sons used.

[hrumphga]

IF marriage vows talk about death more than babies, maybe it should be, "till babies do us part." I just know that if the perfect marriage ends in death, there are times when my wife wants to "perfect" me.

[Zarbod]

I have a lot of dates where the women want to perfect me.

[Bobofet241]

I never did that to any guy because it's not right to do.You accept people for who they are.If you can't live with their minor quirks forget it.People who try to 'perfect' others to mold them into their vision of a perfect mate are stupid.You can help each other improve in minor ways but people are they way they are for life.

[Zarbod]

Yeah I agree. People don't change. So the ladies better love me the way I am!

[Bobofet241]

I am sure you're wonderful.How bad can you be? lol :)

[Zarbod]

How bad? It depends how hard I'm trying.

[simplydaft]

I draw the line at intergalactic insterspecies plural marriage. And if that doesn't kill ya, nothing will. :)

[Zarbod]

You're too uptight. You just got to chill and let the Z-Man take charge.

[Rowdyeh]

No such thing as a "perfect" marriage, Zarbod, it's a constant set of compromises!

[Zarbod]

Well you'll never win with that attitude.  I say you got to keep them guessing.

[Rowdyeh]

Actually it's quite the reverse, you've got to be ready for almost anything!!

[Zarbod]

I better write that down.

[qiranger]

I love the Z! But I miss the old Z's voice!

[Zarbod]

So do I. Hmm.

[Bobofet241]

I've been married 28 years this Sept.5th and we both have been faithful.He still holds the car door open for me,helps me do the dishes and calls me his Lady.He's not perfect but he's never let me down.When times got tough we toughed it out and saw it through.

[Zarbod]

Well that's really awesome.

[manateeak]

I guess married people love each other to DEATH.

[Zarbod]

I'd be dieing to get out of a marriage if I were in one. But that's just me.

[SonomaDave1]

Dang...where is the Mikma???

[Zarbod]

WHERE"S MIKMA???

[mikma]

mikma is here

[Zarbod]

MIKMA!!!

[SonomaDave1]

Awlrighty then!

[Zarbod]

Awrighty Now!

[SonomaDave1]

Mikma will undoubtedly be in Alaska too! Hes probably already there.

[allansfriend]

I'd rather slash my wrists than be married...Love, Tammi

[Zarbod]

I'd love to love Tammi, but she doesn't return my calls.

[allansfriend]

Sucks don't it?

[Zarbod]

Yes it don't. I mean, No it does. I mean, oh why do you confuse me with complicated questions like that?

[GregGallows]

First!

[Zarbod]

You rock!