Oh and one more thing, if one gains self esteem or loses self-esteem based upon the way their bodies look, you must wonder if that person had any genuine self-esteem at all. If it is based upon what others think of you, I believe you have no true self-esteem. It would be time for you to invest yourself in yourself to find reasons to be happy and confident, there you will find a source of true self esteem.
If your interested in this topic I recommend two books. The first is a book called The Game by Neil Struess. It is a book about pickup artists, however it teaches you a lot about contemporary female psychology. The second book is call Affluenza by Oliver James. It is mostly about how affluence may be the cause for the increase in psychological disturbance over the past few decades. Enjoy.
This video made me sign up for youtube...You are very intelligent and beautiful and it's nice to know that there are other woman out there who I can share similar experiences with... Great video.
that was a really great video! im sure there are millions of people out there that can relate. I was a little teary watching that. im glad i stumbled upon your channel.
It's really hard for me, as a genuinely heavy and unattractive girl, to see thin and pretty girls complain about being fat and ugly. I guess it's just the human condition that we can't be happy with what we have. I can see now that I have been truly blessed with what I've been given because I know what really matters.
I haven't always been thin or particularly attractive.. I'm happier now than I've ever been but I've found it is emotionally complicated after losing a lot of weight
Calling a girl dumb and saying she has no personality is wrong. Even when self-centeredness tells you that you're justified. As to preferring strangers' compliments to those whose compliments you consider perfunctory...again, your self-centeredness is clouding your priorities. And If all you've got to offer guys (people) is that you wish you were taken more seriously based on what is fleeting...
You're very brave and honest, and I can relate... People evolve - every moment we change in at least a small way. Sometimes we change in negative ways. Sometimes we change in positive ways.
Don't listen to these stupid troll commenters, who are only trying to insult you. Don't let them hurt you, because they are only cowards.
awesome video, I think that guy probably responded like that because he was insecure and uncertain of how he saw the world at the time (Ignorant) and in that highschool environment its all very physical attraction based that people get caught up in all about looks because everyone tends to be all about that...I think you're physically beautiful but moreso internally from seeing this video.
Fuck that guy who said that to you. I don't know why you liked him in the first place though. He obviously has no respect for himself or anyone else. Anyone who just dates a girl because she is pretty has no self respect -- and deserves no respect from you.
Hi Esther, i subscribed to you last week after we met in london :)
So i had no idea what you were talking about until i surfed back to your first videos. Not that you havent been beautiful at that time (your boyfriend is right) but you did an amazing change! Respect for your discipline :)
I've had the exact opposite the other day, a girl told me, and I quote;
"One day I want to marry a guy that looks just like you!"
I'm still uncertain what this was supposed to mean, either it was a subtle hint that I should hit on her, or maybe she was saying my personality is my problem.
You really don't have anything to worry about, you'll get more confidence, there is nothing wrong with who you are or how you look. Just take care of your body. Guys don't marry the super hotties.
That little glance from that stranger at the bar, or that smile from the random driver on the freeway can mean so much. It seems shallow, but in terms of self worth, it is truly priceless. It'll carry on through the next several days for someone who really feels insecure. I don't feel guilty for enjoying it, but accept it willingly and enthusiasically. I don't think the people who think they're pretty ever get to experience that feeling, and that makes the rest of us lucky.
I did a Google search on 'inspirational quotes + beauty' because I spent a good 20 minutes trying to think of my own.
"It's beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart."
I think you're gorgeous and that's what I noticed first but it was your words, personality and character that made me listen and made me think. I'm sure you've got the character to overcome your insecurities. I feel desperately sorry for the people that don't.
oh boy. do i know what you're going through. but you really shouldnt rely on strangers validation to make you feel pretty. you need to rely on your own opinion.
'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder', not everyone agrees on what is attractive or unattractive and never will! But looks are certainly not everything, think of presents! They may be well wrapped but no-one cares about the outside it's what's inside that matters! I just wish they looked at people in the same way!!
I know exactly what you mean. Kind of in an opposite way though. My entire life I have always been REALLY tiny...so of course I wear really baggy clothes. For some reason I decided to buy clothes that actually fit...and it was weird because people were staring and telling me how pretty I was. I know exactly what you mean.
People go into cosmetic surgery thinking it will make them beautiful. After surgery some say things like 'So it fixed my face, but i'm still ugly'. And they go get more surgery thinking it will change. Your beliefs are everything, if you still believe you are ugly because of the way you used to look, no amount of weight loss can change that. Infact girls die from anorexia because they cant let go of that belief, tricking their mind into thinking they are still overweight.
I, too, found a guy who loved me when I was at my heaviest. He said he fell in love with Julie--who i was, who i am, who i'm becoming. I'm sure Nick feels the same way. He fell in love with a girl named Esther and everything about her :)
You're fucked, damn. You have a looooooong (long long long) way to go, girl. Talk with you? That isn't going to attract shit for you, christ, you're a shallow moron. You "could've" worn a tank top? Because you would've "looked fine"? Case in point, yes.
I know exactly what you are saying Its amazing how different you really treated just by losing weight I don't see myself how others see me and to this day no matter how much more weight I will shed (Still need to) I will forever see myself as "that" girl in my own mind Tons of hugs ♥Mel®
It's not only a female thing, guys feel not strong enough or handsome enough or what ever as well...
I've known lots of girls that when you compliment them, they think your just being nice and that you don't have to say such things and even when they hear it all the time, they still don't believe it.
I think society in general makes us feel inadequate, you can be miss universe but still feel fat and ugly.
well, i think many people have already commented, but i think it just comes down to finally understanding who you are, and understanding what you respect in others. then you can find people you fit with, and disregard the others (not completely, but pay less attention)
This is pretty common, I think. I HATE being just "The Friend" it happened to me as late as last year. I got a similar speech, only from a girl of course. A knife to the hart is a good description.
This is only the second of your videos I've seen, but you have told this story beautifully. It's pretty clear you are an introvert. It can be characteristic of us, that we have a very minimal persona. In society, we are basically ourselves, with very little cover. That, I think has a lot to do with why you have felt the need to cover up. Your open and completely genuine manner is your strength. The only thing that undermines it is self consciousness. It takes time to grow into yourself.
If you ever really need a quick confidence boost, you can just look through the comments of your videos. Being an attractive woman, you'll instantly get "ur hot lolz". Admittedly these may be compliments from pervs who have nothing better to do than compliment random women on the internet, but still.
As someone who suffers from severe confidence problems - and i'm receiving help with it - i don't get "ur hot lolz" it's still good though.
im actually trying to figure out how to make it private for reasons i sort of explain in my video... i think since its a response it will let you see it... but let me know if you cant. thanks
All I have to say is you should have kicked that idiot in the balls, and your story is an extremely sad commentary on America, when an obviously intelligent, attractive girl with a great sense of humor would ever have self esteem issue, I think it's also sad that it's only now after something as superficial as loosing a few pounds that you feel better.
A message from someone quite a few years your senior, in 25 years when life is at it's best (career peaking, children grown) the looks will be gone, if your partner chose you for them he will be long gone, who you are is the ONLY thing that matters, it's the ONLY thing that lasts, what you look like is completely and totally meaningless.
Yeah I certainly agree with you (although I admit sometimes it can be difficult to keep that in perspective when life repeatedly feels like a popularity/beauty contest)
Would you prefer to win Miss America, or the Nobel Prize, from almost any perspective I think the Nobel is the thing to strive for, I think I've always looked at the world that way, perhaps age has changed my perspective, but I can tell you I'm happy I married the smart girl, and not the pretty airhead, who would just be an airhead now.
hay faintstarlight, I made a video response to this video, that ended up being something like 15 minutes... which means i would have to cut it in half.. and i kind of dont want it to be public so, before I upload it, can you tell me if you would actually want to watch it?
Yea of course - upload it and I'll watch it & respond .. and who knows, others may really connect with your response .. that's what this whole thing is about =)
I think the honesty is awesome, however, the point in the story where 'the guy you had a crush on' who told you he'd marry you if you were prettier (which is a shallow thing to say, let alone feel) is sort of along the same lines as 'I feel better when people who don't know me at all like me or want me just on my looks.' I don't know if that kind of validation really has to do with profound preception.
don't accept any of those people that would have refused to connect with you before... don't use your beauty to get what was forbidden... reward the world that loved your truer inner beauty...
you got it going on right now, girl! i was married a year to the hottest but most selfish girl out there. used to weigh looks more than personality too.. big mistake. you seem nice and you're beautiful too. keep being who you are.
I think whenever there is a perception altering change in someone (ie. weight loss, midlife crisis, disease, etc.) it is very scary. When we are first developing our perception of the world when we are children (hopefully) we have a support structure to help us deal with the unexpected. But, when it happens later in life sometimes we don't have that same support or we may not even realize that we have access to some support and it gets very hard.
Yeah I think it's really important to be honest with yourself and others about whats going on internally.. it's taken awhile for me to get honest about this but once I recognized it I felt like I had to say it outloud.
Well to make a long story short she almost ruined her family life and her professional career because she didn't know how to handle all the new found attention she was getting from men other than her husband and made some questionable decisions.
But around two years ago her doctor suggested that she lose some weight or risk sever complications. She elected to get gastric bypass surgery and over the course of the next year she lost almost 180lbs. For the first time in her life she felt and, in my opinion, gorgeous.
There is this woman that I have known since I was in Junior High (I'm 25 now) and has been a mentor and a friend since then. When I first met her she was about 26 and she was a large woman (pushing 220lbs) and after two kids gained even more weight (pushing almost 300lbs) She had married her first and only high school boy friend and hadn't known anything else.
Hey, first of all I wanted to compliment you on your music choice. DCFC is one of my favoritve bands and their "Transatlanticism" Album is a masterpiece.
the biggest slap in the face i ever had was "i wish every guy could be like you". gah, people like that wonder why they end up with the crap guys.. self-esteem, well know thyself really. There's no point in worrying how shallow people think about you eh?
hey, great video, nice to see when people really open up on youtube, give their real feelings all things put to one side! im subsribed to you girl, was good to meet you on saturday at the gathering!
It's not only a female thing. I was a fat kid until mid-20's. In high school and college I couldn't get laid in a whorehouse with a pile of 100s. When I went clubbing with friends, I was never able to get any girl to dance with me. Its tough to be fat, (unless you have a lot of charisma) and the whole idea of fat is beautiful and love yourself, etc., is just a lie and denial, IMO, in our society. I'm not brad pitt today..just more normal. Probably from a 0 to a 3.9, I hope :)
Sorry, for some reason the start of my post was cut off. It should have read "I think that all good looking women should start out being unattractive"
Well you are in luck. Your boyfriend is completely correct. You are a very beautiful and intelligent woman. He is one of the luckiest men in the world.
as from what I have seen from you compared to the other so called "beautiful" women out there is that you have an amazing personality and are extremely wise and observant. This is due to the fact that you haven't had to relate to the world with only physical beauty, but have had to show more than just how you look externally to be taken notice of. I think that it has made you so much more beautiful than a normal, run of the mill "beautiful" person. Keep being you!
I understand where you're coming form. Not necessarily in weight loss terms. I was just a completely different person in high school. I had no confidence, I always covered up, etc. After high school things started to change the way I saw myself. I wish it was a snap of the fingers boost in confidence when you realize who you really are, but it's not that simple. I recently subscribed, but you seem like such a beautiful person inside & out - keep your head high!
I enjoy your videos because of your effusive personality/speaking manner! You do look great, though, so best of luck filtering out attention from people who don't see the wonderful you under the wonderful appearance.
I have a few friends who have went through drastic weightloss and they say the same thing as you. It is like theyhave become another person and don't know how to deal with it.
Being the just the friend sucks, but truth be told, I would rather be a longterm friend instead of a shortterm fling
DUI .. it's for driving while drinking alcohol.. she actually only blew a .02 (.08 is legal) and is going to court since clearly she wasn't drunk - it's a big mess
Oh and one more thing, if one gains self esteem or loses self-esteem based upon the way their bodies look, you must wonder if that person had any genuine self-esteem at all. If it is based upon what others think of you, I believe you have no true self-esteem. It would be time for you to invest yourself in yourself to find reasons to be happy and confident, there you will find a source of true self esteem.
ShenmueAtheist 4 years ago
If your interested in this topic I recommend two books. The first is a book called The Game by Neil Struess. It is a book about pickup artists, however it teaches you a lot about contemporary female psychology. The second book is call Affluenza by Oliver James. It is mostly about how affluence may be the cause for the increase in psychological disturbance over the past few decades. Enjoy.
ShenmueAtheist 4 years ago
This video made me sign up for youtube...You are very intelligent and beautiful and it's nice to know that there are other woman out there who I can share similar experiences with... Great video.
tulipsandhorror 4 years ago
2nd time watching. still teared up!
love your videos!!! peace and love, marie♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
rie1972 4 years ago
that was a really great video! im sure there are millions of people out there that can relate. I was a little teary watching that. im glad i stumbled upon your channel.
peace and love,
marie
enlightened007 4 years ago
I think I am getting sleepy ... can't you record a strip video once? That would really wake me up :-)
marckooijman 4 years ago
It's really hard for me, as a genuinely heavy and unattractive girl, to see thin and pretty girls complain about being fat and ugly. I guess it's just the human condition that we can't be happy with what we have. I can see now that I have been truly blessed with what I've been given because I know what really matters.
mettabee 4 years ago
I haven't always been thin or particularly attractive.. I'm happier now than I've ever been but I've found it is emotionally complicated after losing a lot of weight
faintstarlite 4 years ago
There's more to beauty than pretty things.
Retrovertigo26 4 years ago
Calling a girl dumb and saying she has no personality is wrong. Even when self-centeredness tells you that you're justified. As to preferring strangers' compliments to those whose compliments you consider perfunctory...again, your self-centeredness is clouding your priorities. And If all you've got to offer guys (people) is that you wish you were taken more seriously based on what is fleeting...
russfloyd 4 years ago
I wish I had a friend like you to talk to. Everyone around me seems so cold. Nice thoughtful video, thank you for posting.
illusivemcsorley 4 years ago
this video made me subscribe to you ...ur a very sweet, pretty girl =)
sitasati 4 years ago
Esther, he was using a manipulation technique on you to get into your panties, and to be fair, can you blame him when you're so amazingly hot?
JasonVz 4 years ago
You're very brave and honest, and I can relate... People evolve - every moment we change in at least a small way. Sometimes we change in negative ways. Sometimes we change in positive ways.
Don't listen to these stupid troll commenters, who are only trying to insult you. Don't let them hurt you, because they are only cowards.
JustMissJac 5 years ago
shut the fuck up
omgomgomgomg 5 years ago
You are a beautiful person sweetheart... you're boyfriends a lucky guy.
SOCRATES012 5 years ago
Wonderful video. Thanks for your honesty!
visionimpulse2k3 5 years ago
there is no time for low self esteem. Life is to short to worry about anything you can't change. your hot....
scseils 5 years ago
awesome video, I think that guy probably responded like that because he was insecure and uncertain of how he saw the world at the time (Ignorant) and in that highschool environment its all very physical attraction based that people get caught up in all about looks because everyone tends to be all about that...I think you're physically beautiful but moreso internally from seeing this video.
Jangaboo 5 years ago
uhm this girl is nice,
DoctorKochu 5 years ago
I just wrote a long response comment to this and then deleted it. You have so much courage to talk about this stuff out in the open.
wavewash 5 years ago
WIERD u were just like me :P except im still like dat haha, but imma get over it prolly
UnspokenBE 5 years ago
Fuck that guy who said that to you. I don't know why you liked him in the first place though. He obviously has no respect for himself or anyone else. Anyone who just dates a girl because she is pretty has no self respect -- and deserves no respect from you.
greves1 5 years ago
That was solid good video, liked it.
and you just look sooo natural
koko56 5 years ago
Wow. Too good you're still alive. I mean I'd've really thought about my life in such harsh moment.
elvisontheisland 5 years ago
You are beautiful. Can't believe that guy that....turned you down-ish.
MCProfound 5 years ago
You're one of the lucky ones actually. All you had to do was lose weight. Some ugly people can't do anything.
brazensteel 5 years ago
Hi Esther, i subscribed to you last week after we met in london :)
So i had no idea what you were talking about until i surfed back to your first videos. Not that you havent been beautiful at that time (your boyfriend is right) but you did an amazing change! Respect for your discipline :)
mixedpixel 5 years ago
This breaks my heart to hear...
ProvidenceAvenue 5 years ago
There is only one thing to do with it.. enjoy it :) Don't fight it. Just go with it and enjoy it :)
FreeknNasty 5 years ago
nick was right you know, you are pritty and a good person too :)
am1gv 5 years ago
I've had the exact opposite the other day, a girl told me, and I quote;
"One day I want to marry a guy that looks just like you!"
I'm still uncertain what this was supposed to mean, either it was a subtle hint that I should hit on her, or maybe she was saying my personality is my problem.
neoriceisgood 5 years ago
You really don't have anything to worry about, you'll get more confidence, there is nothing wrong with who you are or how you look. Just take care of your body. Guys don't marry the super hotties.
leony2007 5 years ago
That little glance from that stranger at the bar, or that smile from the random driver on the freeway can mean so much. It seems shallow, but in terms of self worth, it is truly priceless. It'll carry on through the next several days for someone who really feels insecure. I don't feel guilty for enjoying it, but accept it willingly and enthusiasically. I don't think the people who think they're pretty ever get to experience that feeling, and that makes the rest of us lucky.
Captdingle 5 years ago
"if only you were as beautifull as Sara, we would get married" -Classic
JohnnyCreepy 5 years ago
I think I liked this video most so far
I understood all the things you were trying to explain
SummerLov33n 5 years ago
Lost me after the word Bestest .. F me
MrNiceHk 5 years ago
I did a Google search on 'inspirational quotes + beauty' because I spent a good 20 minutes trying to think of my own.
"It's beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart."
I think you're gorgeous and that's what I noticed first but it was your words, personality and character that made me listen and made me think. I'm sure you've got the character to overcome your insecurities. I feel desperately sorry for the people that don't.
TimidsFlicks 5 years ago
oh boy. do i know what you're going through. but you really shouldnt rely on strangers validation to make you feel pretty. you need to rely on your own opinion.
kereru 5 years ago
What your friend said - a woman would never say that about a man. There's a "male eye" watching women, even in the womens' own mind.
PaPookie 5 years ago
Woah Ô_o
Shocking indeed.
Zea107 5 years ago
You were always beautiful.
ashleyraven 5 years ago
'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder', not everyone agrees on what is attractive or unattractive and never will! But looks are certainly not everything, think of presents! They may be well wrapped but no-one cares about the outside it's what's inside that matters! I just wish they looked at people in the same way!!
alexmrb 5 years ago
I know exactly what you mean. Kind of in an opposite way though. My entire life I have always been REALLY tiny...so of course I wear really baggy clothes. For some reason I decided to buy clothes that actually fit...and it was weird because people were staring and telling me how pretty I was. I know exactly what you mean.
winkandsmile820 5 years ago
People go into cosmetic surgery thinking it will make them beautiful. After surgery some say things like 'So it fixed my face, but i'm still ugly'. And they go get more surgery thinking it will change. Your beliefs are everything, if you still believe you are ugly because of the way you used to look, no amount of weight loss can change that. Infact girls die from anorexia because they cant let go of that belief, tricking their mind into thinking they are still overweight.
willyjmayo 5 years ago
Girl you were beatiful in your first video. fuck that guy! build you confidence and your possibilities are endless!
wrtokzx 5 years ago
I, too, found a guy who loved me when I was at my heaviest. He said he fell in love with Julie--who i was, who i am, who i'm becoming. I'm sure Nick feels the same way. He fell in love with a girl named Esther and everything about her :)
Marlaine83 5 years ago
You're fucked, damn. You have a looooooong (long long long) way to go, girl. Talk with you? That isn't going to attract shit for you, christ, you're a shallow moron. You "could've" worn a tank top? Because you would've "looked fine"? Case in point, yes.
MyGreenBed 5 years ago
I know exactly what you are saying Its amazing how different you really treated just by losing weight I don't see myself how others see me and to this day no matter how much more weight I will shed (Still need to) I will forever see myself as "that" girl in my own mind Tons of hugs ♥Mel®
SSGLuceyGirl 5 years ago
Ive often suffered from a lack of self esteem over my looks
even though girls tell me I could be a model I don't believe it.
I think its how you feel about yourself inside.
wazo89 5 years ago
It's not only a female thing, guys feel not strong enough or handsome enough or what ever as well...
I've known lots of girls that when you compliment them, they think your just being nice and that you don't have to say such things and even when they hear it all the time, they still don't believe it.
I think society in general makes us feel inadequate, you can be miss universe but still feel fat and ugly.
ArtyDavid83 5 years ago
i think you're beautiful.
=]
d3adbarbie 5 years ago
well, i think many people have already commented, but i think it just comes down to finally understanding who you are, and understanding what you respect in others. then you can find people you fit with, and disregard the others (not completely, but pay less attention)
lazyoldsun 5 years ago
This is pretty common, I think. I HATE being just "The Friend" it happened to me as late as last year. I got a similar speech, only from a girl of course. A knife to the hart is a good description.
donald347 5 years ago
This is only the second of your videos I've seen, but you have told this story beautifully. It's pretty clear you are an introvert. It can be characteristic of us, that we have a very minimal persona. In society, we are basically ourselves, with very little cover. That, I think has a lot to do with why you have felt the need to cover up. Your open and completely genuine manner is your strength. The only thing that undermines it is self consciousness. It takes time to grow into yourself.
eric
forcecarrier 5 years ago
I used to think I was an extrovert but as I've gotten to know myself I'm realizing I have a lot more introverted tendencies.. so you may be right. =)
faintstarlite 5 years ago
If you ever really need a quick confidence boost, you can just look through the comments of your videos. Being an attractive woman, you'll instantly get "ur hot lolz". Admittedly these may be compliments from pervs who have nothing better to do than compliment random women on the internet, but still.
As someone who suffers from severe confidence problems - and i'm receiving help with it - i don't get "ur hot lolz" it's still good though.
Another great video :)
WedenatorIrons 5 years ago
im actually trying to figure out how to make it private for reasons i sort of explain in my video... i think since its a response it will let you see it... but let me know if you cant. thanks
Mayorofmetrocity 5 years ago
All I have to say is you should have kicked that idiot in the balls, and your story is an extremely sad commentary on America, when an obviously intelligent, attractive girl with a great sense of humor would ever have self esteem issue, I think it's also sad that it's only now after something as superficial as loosing a few pounds that you feel better.
TheOptimisticSkeptic 5 years ago
A message from someone quite a few years your senior, in 25 years when life is at it's best (career peaking, children grown) the looks will be gone, if your partner chose you for them he will be long gone, who you are is the ONLY thing that matters, it's the ONLY thing that lasts, what you look like is completely and totally meaningless.
TheOptimisticSkeptic 5 years ago
Yeah I certainly agree with you (although I admit sometimes it can be difficult to keep that in perspective when life repeatedly feels like a popularity/beauty contest)
faintstarlite 5 years ago
Would you prefer to win Miss America, or the Nobel Prize, from almost any perspective I think the Nobel is the thing to strive for, I think I've always looked at the world that way, perhaps age has changed my perspective, but I can tell you I'm happy I married the smart girl, and not the pretty airhead, who would just be an airhead now.
TheOptimisticSkeptic 5 years ago
hay faintstarlight, I made a video response to this video, that ended up being something like 15 minutes... which means i would have to cut it in half.. and i kind of dont want it to be public so, before I upload it, can you tell me if you would actually want to watch it?
Please message me or something. Thanks
Mayorofmetrocity 5 years ago
Yea of course - upload it and I'll watch it & respond .. and who knows, others may really connect with your response .. that's what this whole thing is about =)
faintstarlite 5 years ago
I think the honesty is awesome, however, the point in the story where 'the guy you had a crush on' who told you he'd marry you if you were prettier (which is a shallow thing to say, let alone feel) is sort of along the same lines as 'I feel better when people who don't know me at all like me or want me just on my looks.' I don't know if that kind of validation really has to do with profound preception.
VickJaiswal 5 years ago
don't accept any of those people that would have refused to connect with you before... don't use your beauty to get what was forbidden... reward the world that loved your truer inner beauty...
pyrrho314 5 years ago
you got it going on right now, girl! i was married a year to the hottest but most selfish girl out there. used to weigh looks more than personality too.. big mistake. you seem nice and you're beautiful too. keep being who you are.
buildercs 5 years ago
I think whenever there is a perception altering change in someone (ie. weight loss, midlife crisis, disease, etc.) it is very scary. When we are first developing our perception of the world when we are children (hopefully) we have a support structure to help us deal with the unexpected. But, when it happens later in life sometimes we don't have that same support or we may not even realize that we have access to some support and it gets very hard.
ajmunson 5 years ago
Yeah I think it's really important to be honest with yourself and others about whats going on internally.. it's taken awhile for me to get honest about this but once I recognized it I felt like I had to say it outloud.
faintstarlite 5 years ago
Well to make a long story short she almost ruined her family life and her professional career because she didn't know how to handle all the new found attention she was getting from men other than her husband and made some questionable decisions.
ajmunson 5 years ago
But around two years ago her doctor suggested that she lose some weight or risk sever complications. She elected to get gastric bypass surgery and over the course of the next year she lost almost 180lbs. For the first time in her life she felt and, in my opinion, gorgeous.
ajmunson 5 years ago
There is this woman that I have known since I was in Junior High (I'm 25 now) and has been a mentor and a friend since then. When I first met her she was about 26 and she was a large woman (pushing 220lbs) and after two kids gained even more weight (pushing almost 300lbs) She had married her first and only high school boy friend and hadn't known anything else.
ajmunson 5 years ago
Hey, first of all I wanted to compliment you on your music choice. DCFC is one of my favoritve bands and their "Transatlanticism" Album is a masterpiece.
ajmunson 5 years ago
Does this mean were going to see some "BOOTY SHAKING" videos from you any time soon... I for one... CAN'T WAIT!
renetto 5 years ago
haha, you would make a serious topic somehow scandalous - you just love controversy!
faintstarlite 5 years ago
This is so interesting. The new documentary I'm working on is about a similar topic of individual self image. I'm beginning to interview people now.
Castaa 5 years ago
the biggest slap in the face i ever had was "i wish every guy could be like you". gah, people like that wonder why they end up with the crap guys.. self-esteem, well know thyself really. There's no point in worrying how shallow people think about you eh?
gratex 5 years ago
Nick is right, hope you had a good time at the gathering :)
tybaltskiller1 5 years ago
hey, great video, nice to see when people really open up on youtube, give their real feelings all things put to one side! im subsribed to you girl, was good to meet you on saturday at the gathering!
L33P33 5 years ago
Great to meet ya on Saturday too =) I'm watching your gathering vid right now!
faintstarlite 5 years ago
Congrats on your weight loss. And for the record,
you are very cute and smart. Your boyfriend is a
lucky guy. { You wouldn't have danced with me either )
bob99 5 years ago
It's not only a female thing. I was a fat kid until mid-20's. In high school and college I couldn't get laid in a whorehouse with a pile of 100s. When I went clubbing with friends, I was never able to get any girl to dance with me. Its tough to be fat, (unless you have a lot of charisma) and the whole idea of fat is beautiful and love yourself, etc., is just a lie and denial, IMO, in our society. I'm not brad pitt today..just more normal. Probably from a 0 to a 3.9, I hope :)
bob99 5 years ago
I definitely agree - no one wants to be fat.. loving yourself doesn't make up for the pain of rejection and lack of confidence
faintstarlite 5 years ago
Sorry, for some reason the start of my post was cut off. It should have read "I think that all good looking women should start out being unattractive"
nicholasp 5 years ago
Well you are in luck. Your boyfriend is completely correct. You are a very beautiful and intelligent woman. He is one of the luckiest men in the world.
MjrSlacker 5 years ago
That's very sweet.. if anything, I'm the lucky one though
faintstarlite 5 years ago
as from what I have seen from you compared to the other so called "beautiful" women out there is that you have an amazing personality and are extremely wise and observant. This is due to the fact that you haven't had to relate to the world with only physical beauty, but have had to show more than just how you look externally to be taken notice of. I think that it has made you so much more beautiful than a normal, run of the mill "beautiful" person. Keep being you!
nicholasp 5 years ago
Well external beauty will eventually fade for all of us since aging is inevitable
faintstarlite 5 years ago
I understand where you're coming form. Not necessarily in weight loss terms. I was just a completely different person in high school. I had no confidence, I always covered up, etc. After high school things started to change the way I saw myself. I wish it was a snap of the fingers boost in confidence when you realize who you really are, but it's not that simple. I recently subscribed, but you seem like such a beautiful person inside & out - keep your head high!
shortbuddy 5 years ago
Yea it's all about gaining confidence and it's just something that takes time
faintstarlite 5 years ago
nice vid
xleax 5 years ago
I enjoy your videos because of your effusive personality/speaking manner! You do look great, though, so best of luck filtering out attention from people who don't see the wonderful you under the wonderful appearance.
fellupthesky 5 years ago
Thanks so much =)
faintstarlite 5 years ago
I have a few friends who have went through drastic weightloss and they say the same thing as you. It is like theyhave become another person and don't know how to deal with it.
Being the just the friend sucks, but truth be told, I would rather be a longterm friend instead of a shortterm fling
zenithyoda 5 years ago
Yea, well now I'm fine with just being friends but you're right that true friendship is always better than being a temporary fling
faintstarlite 5 years ago
What a DY?
dajazzman234 5 years ago
DUI .. it's for driving while drinking alcohol.. she actually only blew a .02 (.08 is legal) and is going to court since clearly she wasn't drunk - it's a big mess
faintstarlite 5 years ago
your friend sounds really sweet. Is she single?
kuhooona 5 years ago
According to me she's single, lol (I dislike her bf)
faintstarlite 5 years ago
diddy dit dee doo
kuhooona 5 years ago
your gorgeous and sound like an amazing woman.
dmac4621 5 years ago