I've been doing the exact same thing, my whole ife has been revolving around my friends instead of me. back when i was suicidal they were the only reason i stayed alive. I've put everything off untill i've had "one more visit" to see them, but thats visits not going to come anytime soon.
thanks for the comments btw, given me some things to ponder :)
damn it the whole page is full up with my mental rammblings.. sorry.. (anyway i tried to say something coherent because I know how you feel.. but i think it turned out a bit of a mess).. anyway
part 2 - (carrying on from below)... From my own experience of incredibly bad, almost suicidal depression, I have to say the only thing that made a difference to my whole mindset was creating something. It doesn't matter what it is, just as long as you feel as though your stepping onto new ground, finding things out, and adding, very slowly to your collection of thoughts.. I carried around notebooks all the time, if I had one good thought to add to my story in a day i felt better and so on...
Ok, i'm like this I think, I put incredible amounts of importance on certain points of my life and all my fears and worries and depression and everything go onto that point, which basicly stops me 'living'. For me now, I'm putting everything into my film which i'm making at the moment (have been for nearly a year) which is equally as worrying, because when/ if that ends up dissapointing me, like everything does, then the whole situation gets worse and worse...
do you have friends where you live or are they a bunch of idiots who dont understand you? I think what you should do is look online for a groups of people intrested in the same things as you and see if any people meet near you. That is hard though I know how you feel.
I've got one good friend nearby, i think she knows mostof my secrets, i'm very trusting of her. even though given my track record i probably shouldnt trust anyone, heh.
I've tried for many many many years to find friends nearby. i make friends and lose them, constantly. its not worth me making friends because i just end up losing them. coincidence or my fault, i don't know which.
hey there, love to see you back! While watching this videa I can think about only one thing. If the three of you realy want to see, why the hell is this taking so long? Why can't the come here? Why don't meet half way. You shouldn't be obsessesd by preople and focus on yourself.
If the three of you realy want to see, why the hell is this taking so long? Why can't the come here? Why don't meet half way. You shouldn't be obsessesd by preople and focus on yourself. I'm kinda like you though, I know your problem. Please try to keep your spirit up. Think about other good things/people you have right in your life know.
I've been doing the exact same thing, my whole ife has been revolving around my friends instead of me. back when i was suicidal they were the only reason i stayed alive. I've put everything off untill i've had "one more visit" to see them, but thats visits not going to come anytime soon.
thanks for the comments btw, given me some things to ponder :)
cactus57 4 years ago
Just deleted some comments from here, was noting personal guys, just youtube had some duplicated comments, so i got rid of the identical copies :)
cactus57 4 years ago
damn it the whole page is full up with my mental rammblings.. sorry.. (anyway i tried to say something coherent because I know how you feel.. but i think it turned out a bit of a mess).. anyway
meetmebythestatue 4 years ago
heh, don't worry about it. most of my videos are mental messy ramblings! :)
cactus57 4 years ago
part 2 - (carrying on from below)... From my own experience of incredibly bad, almost suicidal depression, I have to say the only thing that made a difference to my whole mindset was creating something. It doesn't matter what it is, just as long as you feel as though your stepping onto new ground, finding things out, and adding, very slowly to your collection of thoughts.. I carried around notebooks all the time, if I had one good thought to add to my story in a day i felt better and so on...
meetmebythestatue 4 years ago
Ok, i'm like this I think, I put incredible amounts of importance on certain points of my life and all my fears and worries and depression and everything go onto that point, which basicly stops me 'living'. For me now, I'm putting everything into my film which i'm making at the moment (have been for nearly a year) which is equally as worrying, because when/ if that ends up dissapointing me, like everything does, then the whole situation gets worse and worse...
meetmebythestatue 4 years ago
do you have friends where you live or are they a bunch of idiots who dont understand you? I think what you should do is look online for a groups of people intrested in the same things as you and see if any people meet near you. That is hard though I know how you feel.
BleedingScarlet666 4 years ago
I've got one good friend nearby, i think she knows mostof my secrets, i'm very trusting of her. even though given my track record i probably shouldnt trust anyone, heh.
I've tried for many many many years to find friends nearby. i make friends and lose them, constantly. its not worth me making friends because i just end up losing them. coincidence or my fault, i don't know which.
cactus57 4 years ago
hey there, love to see you back! While watching this videa I can think about only one thing. If the three of you realy want to see, why the hell is this taking so long? Why can't the come here? Why don't meet half way. You shouldn't be obsessesd by preople and focus on yourself.
3174573 4 years ago
Explained the ins and outs of my friends in an email, where i can rant further than 500 characters lol.
yeah, i need to start living for myself really, kinda hard to do when you hate yourself though. darn hard.
cactus57 4 years ago
If the three of you realy want to see, why the hell is this taking so long? Why can't the come here? Why don't meet half way. You shouldn't be obsessesd by preople and focus on yourself. I'm kinda like you though, I know your problem. Please try to keep your spirit up. Think about other good things/people you have right in your life know.
3174573 4 years ago